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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:37,451 Hello. 3 00:00:39,222 --> 00:00:42,562 I'm Alan Strauss. 4 00:00:43,396 --> 00:00:45,233 Dr. Strauss. 5 00:00:46,402 --> 00:00:49,709 - Y-You're...? - Candace. 6 00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:51,580 Sorry. 7 00:00:54,252 --> 00:00:55,688 I'm Sam's mother. 8 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,393 Oh. 9 00:01:00,197 --> 00:01:03,236 Is this... your house? 10 00:01:04,405 --> 00:01:07,746 Sam moved back in with me when he split up with Mary. 11 00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:11,152 - Ah, I see. - Did he... 12 00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,593 You know about Mary, don't you? 13 00:01:14,693 --> 00:01:17,431 I'm sorry, I can't really discuss that. 14 00:01:17,532 --> 00:01:19,101 Of course. Yes. 15 00:01:19,201 --> 00:01:23,110 So, you know who I am? 16 00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,614 Of course I do. 17 00:01:25,715 --> 00:01:27,518 I loved your book. 18 00:01:28,754 --> 00:01:30,373 When his father left, 19 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,628 I started reading all these books. 20 00:01:32,762 --> 00:01:35,167 You know, self-help. 21 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:38,440 The Cactus and the Mirage was one of my favorites. 22 00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:42,315 I had Sam read it, too, but it didn't really help him, 23 00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:44,201 so I... 24 00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:46,356 told him he should try real therapy. 25 00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,327 This isn't trying real therapy. 26 00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:49,663 Of course. 27 00:01:49,763 --> 00:01:52,050 I know how terrible this is. 28 00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:54,773 Believe me, I know. 29 00:01:58,113 --> 00:01:59,682 Unlock me. 30 00:01:59,816 --> 00:02:01,486 I don't have a key. 31 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:03,574 Well... 32 00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:05,829 call the police. Then we can help Sam. 33 00:02:05,929 --> 00:02:07,464 Please understand. 34 00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:11,206 I don't support him in this at all. 35 00:02:11,306 --> 00:02:13,811 I'm not... like him. 36 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,068 But I can't turn in my own son. 37 00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:20,157 You're his mother. Can't you tell him to stop this? 38 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,596 He's trying to stop. I know it's-it's... 39 00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:25,249 Candace, please. 40 00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:28,507 I have kids. A son and a daughter. 41 00:02:28,641 --> 00:02:31,513 They need me, just like he needs you. 42 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,819 I know this isn't right. 43 00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:38,060 But you have to help him. 44 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,330 He's my baby. 45 00:03:19,676 --> 00:03:21,179 You ever had pho? 46 00:03:21,279 --> 00:03:23,851 - Yes. - Not like this, you haven't. 47 00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:49,317 I'm gonna get bowls. 48 00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:51,640 Sam, hold on a second. 49 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,744 When you were gone, 50 00:03:53,844 --> 00:03:56,884 I heard someone moving around upstairs, 51 00:03:56,984 --> 00:03:58,788 and I called up to them 52 00:03:58,921 --> 00:04:01,342 and asked them to come down. 53 00:04:01,426 --> 00:04:02,762 Did they come down? 54 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,337 - So you met my mother. - Yes. 55 00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:11,514 I was a little surprised. Y-You said she was dead. 56 00:04:11,614 --> 00:04:14,520 Yeah, my parents aren't dead. 57 00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,456 I-I lied about that, too. 58 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,861 Sorry. 59 00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:22,635 One of the reasons that I didn't want 60 00:04:22,769 --> 00:04:24,522 to go into therapy 61 00:04:24,606 --> 00:04:26,442 was because I know it's all 62 00:04:26,543 --> 00:04:29,415 "mothers, mothers, mothers." My mother is not my problem. 63 00:04:29,516 --> 00:04:31,853 Let me get the bowls. 64 00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:49,856 I'm going to 65 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,427 need you to take off this chain. 66 00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:56,202 There's no way to do this work effectively 67 00:04:56,302 --> 00:04:57,805 with the therapist tied up. 68 00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:00,210 The chain's on your leg, not on your mouth. 69 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:03,399 Sam, I present no physical threat to you. 70 00:05:03,483 --> 00:05:06,288 You're young and strong, 71 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,496 and I-I... I sit in a chair all day. 72 00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:13,436 What do you imagine would happen if I attacked you? 73 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:19,765 I... I pictured this with you chained to the floor. 74 00:05:19,849 --> 00:05:22,438 I understand, and I am asking you 75 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,057 to adjust that 76 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,464 so I can help you more effectively. 77 00:05:27,565 --> 00:05:32,257 Sam, there is no way that this is going to work 78 00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:34,411 unless you take off this chain. 79 00:05:38,219 --> 00:05:40,423 She usually doesn't come down here. 80 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:57,257 Before, when we were in my office... 81 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,363 you told me that your mother took care of you 82 00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:02,067 when your father was being violent. 83 00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:03,603 "Mothers, mothers, mothers." 84 00:06:03,704 --> 00:06:06,943 It's just one part of things, Sam, but we can't ignore it. 85 00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:12,387 Your mother told me that he left. 86 00:06:13,356 --> 00:06:16,395 Can you tell me about that? 87 00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:17,899 He left us. 88 00:06:17,999 --> 00:06:19,969 How old were you? 89 00:06:21,706 --> 00:06:22,706 Fourteen. 90 00:06:23,376 --> 00:06:25,547 And what do you remember about that? 91 00:06:28,787 --> 00:06:30,725 He left us. 92 00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,296 So, he didn't hit me anymore. 93 00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:35,834 Did you see him after that? 94 00:06:39,408 --> 00:06:41,513 This is the house you grew up in? 95 00:06:42,516 --> 00:06:45,053 Yup. 96 00:06:46,523 --> 00:06:50,597 Do you have memories, um, like... 97 00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:55,507 Did he hurt you in this room? 98 00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:58,781 If I was in this room... 99 00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:01,586 it was in this room. 100 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,561 And you'd be here and... 101 00:07:05,661 --> 00:07:07,999 And he'd say something 102 00:07:08,099 --> 00:07:11,523 that I was supposed to do, and if I didn't do it 103 00:07:11,607 --> 00:07:13,577 within one second... 104 00:07:14,545 --> 00:07:17,117 I didn't know what he meant sometimes. I... He was... 105 00:07:17,217 --> 00:07:19,689 I needed time to think, 106 00:07:19,789 --> 00:07:21,091 but... 107 00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:24,364 Like, one time, 108 00:07:24,464 --> 00:07:25,801 he got a whole load of grout 109 00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:28,473 for the kitchen and the bathroom, and... 110 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,811 he got a deal, right, 111 00:07:30,945 --> 00:07:34,485 so he ordered a ton of it, and it came in these boxes. 112 00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:37,741 And he was yelling at me, "Break 'em down." 113 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,631 Screaming. "Break 'em down." 114 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,303 I didn't know what he meant 115 00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:45,440 because I'd never heard that before 116 00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:48,981 'cause he... he wasn't pointing at the boxes. 117 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:55,494 Then he just, he just went at me, 118 00:07:55,594 --> 00:07:58,099 like he did. 119 00:08:03,175 --> 00:08:05,681 You said your mom got it, too. 120 00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:09,221 She's a good mother. 121 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,027 She made me sandwiches every day. 122 00:08:12,127 --> 00:08:13,830 She did the laundry. 123 00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:21,145 It's a terrible situation for a mother and a son. 124 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,595 Everyone, please. Everyone, please. 125 00:08:45,695 --> 00:08:48,033 People! 126 00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:51,072 People. People! 127 00:08:51,205 --> 00:08:52,942 I have something to say. 128 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:57,050 People, people. I have something to say. 129 00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,523 I understand that 130 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,177 the mother of the chat an has some 131 00:09:02,261 --> 00:09:03,964 words she'd like to share 132 00:09:04,064 --> 00:09:06,168 with the new couple. 133 00:09:18,694 --> 00:09:20,732 We don't have women sing. 134 00:09:20,832 --> 00:09:23,737 Rabbi, it's my son's wedding. 135 00:09:33,289 --> 00:09:37,698 Hi. I'm Ezra's mom. 136 00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:41,005 Where are you going? 137 00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:43,777 I'm also the cantor at Temple Sinai. 138 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,764 Talk to me, Sam. 139 00:10:12,602 --> 00:10:14,471 I know you're struggling with your feelings 140 00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:16,743 about the manager at the restaurant. 141 00:10:18,647 --> 00:10:22,020 Is there anything else you can tell me about it? 142 00:10:25,628 --> 00:10:26,797 Uh... 143 00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,967 You should help me. 144 00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,793 Hmm... 145 00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:47,754 I have a thought for us. 146 00:10:47,838 --> 00:10:50,510 - Mm-hmm. - You know, 147 00:10:50,611 --> 00:10:53,517 your mother is an impressive woman, 148 00:10:53,617 --> 00:10:56,188 and she would clearly do anything 149 00:10:56,321 --> 00:10:58,108 to help you feel better, 150 00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,748 help you live the life that you want to live, 151 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:03,837 and I think that she can help us now. 152 00:11:04,806 --> 00:11:08,129 We are all part of family systems. 153 00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:10,216 You, me, everyone. 154 00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:13,105 Changes to those systems 155 00:11:13,189 --> 00:11:15,026 can have a profound effect on us, 156 00:11:15,126 --> 00:11:17,698 even at your age. 157 00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:18,950 And I was thinking 158 00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:21,572 that it might be beneficial 159 00:11:21,673 --> 00:11:24,311 if we were to do some family therapy work 160 00:11:24,411 --> 00:11:25,847 with you and your mother. 161 00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:29,956 Mm. 162 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,826 She's been through enough. 163 00:11:33,864 --> 00:11:36,786 She doesn't need to be dragged into what we're doing here. 164 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,607 I think that's kind of you, 165 00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:40,945 and I can see why you'd want to protect her. 166 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:42,280 But I don't think you need 167 00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:45,687 to worry about her feeling dragged into this. 168 00:11:45,787 --> 00:11:49,127 I think she might find it helpful, too. 169 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,068 Sam. 170 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,411 You don't have to take this next step alone. 171 00:11:57,512 --> 00:12:01,987 There is someone who wants to be there with you. 172 00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:06,228 She doesn't want you struggling with this by yourself. 173 00:12:30,243 --> 00:12:33,249 He was always a very physical man, 174 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:37,224 and it was always a very intense relationship. 175 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,731 - I think Sam and I... - He was an asshole. 176 00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:42,735 It's pretty simple. 177 00:12:42,869 --> 00:12:45,907 He was a terrible father, and Sam and I... 178 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,511 Worse than terrible. 179 00:12:47,612 --> 00:12:49,916 Let's try to slow down a little bit. 180 00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:53,924 In this space, let everybody finish what they're saying. 181 00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:56,846 When we go more slowly, 182 00:12:56,930 --> 00:13:00,102 usually, everyone thinks a little more clearly, 183 00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:03,009 and sometimes, when we wait, 184 00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:06,281 people don't say what we think they are going to. 185 00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:13,178 Sam and I took refuge in each other. 186 00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:16,102 I learned that from one of the books I read. 187 00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:18,055 Not yours. 188 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:19,942 Hmm. 189 00:13:21,312 --> 00:13:23,398 That it was a refuge. 190 00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:25,119 You were in this together. 191 00:13:25,253 --> 00:13:27,324 Mm-hmm. 192 00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:29,412 You still are. 193 00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:33,886 You are bonded to each other. 194 00:13:33,970 --> 00:13:36,141 It's very moving. 195 00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:41,067 - Sam. - Yup. 196 00:13:41,151 --> 00:13:43,389 You love your mother, 197 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,929 and I think that can give us a way to help you. 198 00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:51,387 I want you to think in a new way of how 199 00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:54,512 you can protect your mother. 200 00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:58,318 As you struggle with this impulse 201 00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:01,593 to become violent, 202 00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:03,731 I want you to protect your mother 203 00:14:03,831 --> 00:14:06,468 by not acting on that impulse. 204 00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:11,178 So that she can be free from this source of pain. 205 00:14:11,278 --> 00:14:13,349 So... 206 00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,420 you think to yourself, 207 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,159 "I will not do this, 208 00:14:18,259 --> 00:14:20,964 so that I can protect my mother." 209 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,492 Will you do that for me, Sam? 210 00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:10,396 Okay. 211 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,425 Pastitsio. 212 00:16:01,465 --> 00:16:03,402 That guy at the... 213 00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:06,074 This restaurant where I did the inspection. 214 00:16:07,578 --> 00:16:09,582 I went back there tonight. 215 00:16:22,942 --> 00:16:24,060 Mmm. 216 00:16:24,144 --> 00:16:26,949 I figured I'd be okay, 217 00:16:27,049 --> 00:16:28,118 maybe, 218 00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:30,607 you know, with you here. 219 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:33,295 I was just looking at him. 220 00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:37,053 How did that feel? 221 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,308 I got my food. 222 00:16:39,408 --> 00:16:40,944 There he was. 223 00:16:41,044 --> 00:16:44,602 Mm, I sat in my car across the street, 224 00:16:44,686 --> 00:16:47,490 and I did the whole thing 225 00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:51,431 in my head, every second. 226 00:16:53,169 --> 00:16:55,306 You said with me here. 227 00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:57,511 Was this a test for yourself? 228 00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:00,182 Yeah, I guess so. 229 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,457 Seems like you did well. 230 00:17:06,328 --> 00:17:09,467 I-I want to show him... 231 00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:13,793 I-I want to teach him how to behave 232 00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:16,348 to other people in the world. I... 233 00:17:17,551 --> 00:17:19,454 I still want to do it. 234 00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,638 Okay. 235 00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:34,217 Mmm. Mmm. 236 00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:36,386 Thanks. 237 00:17:38,693 --> 00:17:42,166 Was it like that with the other ones who you... 238 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,208 Did they do something 239 00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:49,297 that made you want to teach them a lesson? 240 00:17:49,381 --> 00:17:52,053 Yes. 241 00:17:52,153 --> 00:17:54,726 They were all... I... 242 00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:56,696 Every one of them deserved it. 243 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,406 Candace? 244 00:18:42,353 --> 00:18:45,392 Candace, we need to talk. 245 00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:09,380 No. No. No. No. 246 00:21:09,481 --> 00:21:11,685 Stop. 247 00:23:29,962 --> 00:23:32,132 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 247 00:23:33,305 --> 00:24:33,214 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/amqwz Help other users to choose the best subtitles 16741

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