All language subtitles for Wedding.Season.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

My name is Asha Maurya.

And I have a joyous appetite for life.

I'm patient.

Resourceful.

And I’m a natural in the kitchen.

Motherly at heart,
I yearn to have a family to feed.

An economist by day,

I live a quiet, traditional life by night.

My hobbies include fine dining

and relaxing at home.

A natural-born athlete,

with boundless energy.

I'm seeking my Indian Prince Charming…

…with a professional job and MBA.

At heart, I'm just a simple girl

who loves weddings.

And I dream of having
a grand one of my own someday.

Don't do it.

-Look alive. Meeting's in 20.
-Huh?

“Singapore equals economic miracle.”

Brilliant.

Please tell me you've slept.

Oh. Yeah, I slept. I slept for 56 minutes.

Asha, stop killing yourself.
This is what you've been waiting for.

It's all on you.

Now, get it together
and prove to my boss in London

that I'm a genius
for stealing you from Wall St.

Yes.

-They're early!

They just entered the building.
That's what you're wearing?

I had a family thing last night.
Black or navy?

-Black, definitely black.
-Mm-hmm.

-Or maybe the navy?
-Tina!

Some privacy, please?

Singapore is a place
where economic miracles happen.

And today, you have the opportunity
to help spread that miracle.

Your investment is key to establishing
our Southeast Asia loan initiative.

Which would launch Singapore as a powder…

…ful, powerful…

Powder…

Pow… Powerful--

Is something wrong here?

No, of course not.

Uh, definitely not. Definitely not.

Um…

The…

Uh…

This is your chance
to establish Singapore as a center--

Okay, let's get to it.

Micro loans aren't a cure for poverty.
It's one piece of a puzzle.

Why Asia and why now? What's the strategy?

Oh, well, we have 140 million borrowers,
80% women, 65% rural.

Our annual growth is 12%
with a projected portfolio yield of--

-Your numbers are impressive.
-Thank you.

But what's the heart of your story?

Heart?

Uh…

We believe that women

are key to social change by creating
a more sustainable future--

Ms. Maurya, we believe
in your fund's potential to do good.

But right now,
we're just not seeing your vision.

I mean, the vision is…

-It's clear in the next slide.
-It's okay, Asha.

If you could give me one more…

That went well.

I think.

I can't believe my mom sent a guy to work
today of all days.

Don’t blame Mommy.
We’ve all botched pitches like that.

Shake it off, move on.

I can see why you’re upset.
This is all lies.

You're not a natural in the kitchen.
You're certainly not a simple girl.

Can you take that down?

I can't
because she's changed the password.

Oh my God, this is a nightmare.

I think he's got
a kind of hot accountant vibe.

Like he could do times tables in his head.

-Are we still going out for coffee or…

Look, I'm sorry, um…

But this is my mother's fault. So…

Yeah. Mine too.

-Handle him.
-Yep.

Sir.

Just…

This is for you. Call me.

Please tell me
you can get me another shot.

I'll try.

And if I succeed, you'll have to show them

why Asha Maurya cares
about this so damn much.

We're not bankers. We're beggars.

If we can't tell a good story,
our little tin cups remain empty.

You ruined my pitch.

Give me a heart attack
while you die alone in a gutter?

Mom, you can't send a DesiDream date
to somebody's place of employment.

Employment? This job doesn't pay
Asha enough to buy a condo.

-Condos are a sound investment.
-I don't want one.

You should've never left banking.
Your whole future was secure!

-I got it.
-Oh, here we go again.

Suneeta, don't make enemies
with a crocodile that shares your waters.

You know, that is so true, Mr. M.
About crocodiles.

You're an economist, Vijay,
not a greeting card writer.

I'm just sharing wisdom of their dada-ji.

Nick, that's Priya's grandfather.

Did she tell you about his boat?

-Please, Dad. No.
-Boat? No.

-I love boats.
-So boring.

Okay, Mom?

All I'm asking is that you take down
this biodata and stop arranging dates.

-Sorry, bio what?
-Biodata.

Like a resume, except your mom writes it.
Instead of getting a job, you get married.

No, no, no, no. This is not biodata.
This is a modern online profile.

A nice way to meet a nice boy like this.

-Meet Ravishanka Shah.
-Suneeta.

Youngest Indian to win
the National Spelling Bee.

-Mom.
-Went to MIT at 16.

-Mom.
-Look, look!

"Hello, I'm a very good boy.
I studied at MIT. I run a successful--"

Mom!

This poor boy's ma wrote this.
He has no idea it exists.

Suneeta.

Enjoy your feast.
This arguing is chewing my brains.

Enjoy. This plate is for the husband
who should be here.

I told her not to do this.
Don't get mad at me.

Well, I will be calling you Mom
soon enough.

Oh, this biryani looks so good.

It's just rice.

And we don't really roll our Rs.

-Careful, it's spicy.

-I love sp--
-Oh!

You okay, babe?

Mom, I'm not gonna meet this Ravi guy.

Fine.

Make me a liar.

My God. You already told his mom
I'm gonna meet him, didn't you?

Beta, I can't let you give up
just because of that bekaar Krish.

Krish? This isn't about Krish.
Why does everyone think it is? It's not!

-Calm down.
-I am over it. Why can't you be? God!

Why would you mention Krish?

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Just keep calm and curry on.

-No, stop.
-I don't know why I said that.

Hey. You okay, sis?

Yeah.

Okay, I need you to do me a favor.

You and Mom can't go on like this.
I have too much on my plate.

And I don't want Mom to be miserable
at my wedding.

So you want me to be miserable instead?

It's one date.

It's a lie, Pri.

-You lied about other boyfriends.
-Shh.

-Not in front of them.
-You mean Ganesh and his gods?

-Yeah.
-They already know.

Come on, I was 16.
There was nothing to tell.

Honestly, I don't think
Mom and Dad want to know the truth.

The fact we used to sneak out
to watch R-rated films?

Or the fact that
you and Nick freaking live together?

Shh.

Can you please help me out here?

Be a maverick in three months.

In the meantime,
if you want to be left alone,

go on the date.

Okay, fine.
I'll meet your little MIT genius.

But no more setups
and you have to take down that profile.

Okay, okay, as long as you agree
to go to the weddings also.

-What?
-It's the best place to find a husband.

I thought online was.

That's also best.

Mom, I have a life.

This is your life too.

You see this one?

Sona's father picked us up from
the airport when we moved to this country.

We had nothing. Eight dollars
and the clothes on our backs.

Really? What was in your suitcases?

The clothes that weren't on our backs.

And this one.

Rohit’s mom took care of you
when Priya was born.

That was Kumail's mom.

No. I remember Kumail's mom was having
her gallbladder out. It was Rohit's mom.

Okay, guys,
I… I know that these are your friends--

Not friends, Asha. Family. Community.

To you these are just weddings, but to us
this is a celebration of a life we built.

From eight dollars.

Do you understand that I may not want
a husband or partner in my life?

Oh! No!

-No!
-Suneeta?

Oh, beta. I can't let you give up
on a lifetime of happiness.

Beta, we just want what's best for you.

I know what you're doing.

You always do this.

Fine. I'll go to some weddings.

-Not some. All. Show we're not ashamed.
-Mom.

Look, if you do this,
I'll take down your profile.

-Great.
-But you still have to meet Ravi.

I have a good feeling about him.

-No.
-Please.

-Mom, no!
-Yes.

-Mom! No!
-Chup!

Order up.

Ravishankar Shah?

-Oh. Hi! Um, just--
-Ravi?

Just Ravi.

-Do you mind if we order? I'm starving.
-Sure. Um, nice to meet you.

What'll it be?

Hi. Let me get a double-cheddar burger,
sloppy fries, large, and a water. Thanks.

And he'll have a… What do you have
for “strict vegetarian seeks simple girl"?

Uh…

Not strict, not vegetarian.

I'll have the same.
Just Coke, not water. Thank you.

-That'll be…

Including 6.625 percent tax, 21.40.

Nice.

How'd you do that?

Oh, just a simple girl thing.

Thanks.

-Shall we?
-Mm-hmm.

So, Ravi, can you really spell anything?

Hmm.

A-N-Y-T-H--

-Come on. Very funny.

Spell "logorrhea."

Listen, I don't dance on command. So…

-Make your mom a liar? Spell "logorrhea."
-Seriously?

Mm-hmm.

Oh my God. Okay. Logorrhea.
L-O-G-O-R-R-H-E-A. Logorrhea.

Well done.

-Thank you.
-Definition?

Verbal diarrhea.
Actually a good word for you.

Ah.

Bon appétit.

Your mom forgot to mention your wit.
So subtle and sophisticated.

-Yeah, yours left out a couple things too.
-Okay, fine. Here it goes.

Uh, I blew up my engagement
to Jersey’s most eligible brown bachelor,

alienated my closest friends,
brought shame and calumny on my family.

I’m no longer allowed
on public transport in Woodbridge.

But that was a misunderstanding.

Yeah, I was just gonna say
you're prettier in person.

Did your mom write that too?

No, that was actually all me.

Ravi.

Asha.

Literally, the only reason I agreed
to meet you here

was so my mom would stop
posting my profile online.

So this…

Us…

…is never gonna happen.

Never gonna happen.

How can you be so sure?

Because our parents set this up.

So?

So?

Wow. Okay. Um, how about this?
I just started a new job.

It's consuming my life. I have no time
for anything else, and I'm okay with that.

I just took a break from my job,
which was consuming my life.

I have all the time in the world,
and I'm okay with that.

So you basically, like, don't have a job?

Well, actually, I--

What happened to being the start-up guy?

I made money off a start-up,
but it's not who I am.

I prefer to do what I love.

Most can't afford to make that choice.

See, that's interesting.
Can't afford to or are afraid to?

See? We're doomed.

Okay.

Oh, cheer up. You dodged a bullet.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, a girl must eat.

Mm.

I'm gonna go.

-Okay.
-Yeah. But, um…

Thank you. This has been interesting.

Mm-hmm.

-Thanks for the burger.
-Anytime.

Bon appétit.

Yeah.

Whoo! Happy birthday, Pops.

So, Mr. Senior Citizen, how does it feel?

Who'd have thought I’d be father to a man
in his 30s who still acts like a child?

Not today, Dinesh. Ravi is here.

I got you this gift.

No, no, no. No presents.

I cannot enjoy my birthday
until my son finds a wife.

He's trying. He went out with Asha.

Ha! And realized
that women want men not boys?

Dinesh.

Dad, you wrote
this misleading profile of me.

Saying, "Looking for a simple girl."
I don't want simple. Simple is boring.

You can't be so choosy.

-Dad, I'm proud of my life.
-Oh, good.

Proud of no job, proud of never dating,
proud of that T-shirt.

You were so brilliant, Ravi. Huh? MIT!

Dinesh, what's past is past.

But now is the time for you
to find a good girl.

-Mom.
-Good, not boring.

There's nothing wrong with boring.

Please, beta. Just try.

For me.

Okay fine, Mom. I'll try.

Look what I found.

Files on your secret love affair
with a British royal?

Those were destroyed.

These are case studies of every microloan
our company has ever funded.

Plus, a 1997 swimsuit edition
of Foxy Gals magazine.

Now, I know this isn't yours.

Don't be so sure. I did go to college.

So folders. Like the 1800s?

More like the last 25 years.

I want you to analyze these
and learn what we do,

how we do it, and why we do it.

-That could take all summer.
-Mm-hmm.

I want you to be so brilliant,
Singapore can't say no.

But they did say no.

I spoke to the higher-ups in London
and a personal friend.

They'll see if they can pull strings
to bring them back.

-If you screw up this time…
-Heads will roll.

That's a bit medieval.

But yes, your head and mine.

I'll also probably lose my job.
I'll have to take my kid out of preschool.

-There goes Princeton!
-Ambitious, this one.

Come, come.

-Mom, I'm at work.
-Oh, no. Don't "I'm at work" me.

Now what did I do?

-You behaved like a total fool!
-What?

Pooja Patel told me
you gave Ravi Shah diarrhea!

What? No! I asked him to spell logorrhea.

-What's that?
-Verbal diarrhea.

You mean diarrhea from the mo…

Oh. Well, you better behave
at the next wedding or our deal is off!

Today,
our bride and groom come together

to celebrate both the Hindu
and Jewish traditions,

to learn the best of what
each has to offer,

confirming that love,
spoken of in all religions,

is our true meeting place.

It is their promise to be honest, open,
loyal, and devoted to one another.

This responsibility speaks of faith
and the love and support of your friends.

Mazel tov!

I lost Nick to the uncles.

Better than the bridesmaids.

Beats getting hit on
by that spelling bee nerd.

"Hi, I'm Ravi. I went to MIT.
Wanna play Bananagrams with me?"

"No, thanks, Mr. Nerd.
I'd rather clean a shower drain."

Ah.

-You're the nerd.
-Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm a nerd.
I'm a nerd. I love nerds.

SAT scores through the roof!

Okay, I'm gonna go.

-Good save, though. Smooth.
-Yeah. Yep.

You look thirsty.

Uh, I was actually just leaving.

Oh, you're leaving this time?

-Why tell Pooja Patel about our date?
-Pooja who?

Pooja Patel,
the gossip queen of Little India?

I didn't tell anyone.
Why would I tell someone?

Huh. She was spying on us.

Unbelievable.

Asha, darling.

Ravi. Did you call my niece Twinkle?

She's Miss India,
New Jersey, you know.

-Nah, Pinky Au--
-She's no brain like you, huh?

But a spelling bee is no Nobel Prize.

Pinky, leave Ravi.
Ravi has time. But Asha.

Suneeta must be desperate.

All these doctors and lawyers and PhDs,
they will be snapped up in no time.

And you will be stuck with leftovers.

Think of the shame! Krish getting married
to a younger woman so soon.

-Oh my God. You didn't know. Bechari.
-Bechari, Asha, beti. Arre.

You know, really, I'm fine.

No. You know what?

Best thing, you get your revenge
and get engaged quickly.

Oh, I'm not looking for revenge.

I'm looking for a bit of time
to focus on my career.

Darling, careers fade away,
but a husband and a family?

Those are forever, darling.

They're handing out wedding favors
if you wanna…

Beta, don't worry.

We promise not to give up on you
until we know that you're happy.

Happy.

-A hundred percent.
-Yes.

But… can't you see?

I am happy.

Thrilled, in fact,
'cause I met someone too.

My Indian Prince Charming right here.

You two?

No, no, no.

I heard from Pooja Patel
it was a disaster.

Disaster? Us? No.

We are the opposite of disaster.
We are perfect together.

Aren't we, Rav? Ravi?

-Uh-huh.
-Ravster.

She's the simple girl I always wanted,
you know? Right, Asha? Shh.

Very good.
Good luck to you and your simple girl.

Chalo, Pinky. Let's go.

We'll see.

Seriously?

-They're gone, aren't they?
-Yeah, to spread the news.

Come on, I'll just tell them
we broke up at the next wedding.

Then they'll just keep coming back.
So, yeah, good luck.

-Wait. What if I didn't say that?
-Okay.

Would it be so bad to let people think
we're off the market?

Is this how you're gonna ask me out?

I am not asking you out.
Not for real, anyway.

-I dunno where you're going with this.
-You don't have to do anything!

Just fend off the matchmaking aunties
so I can get some work done.

Mm-hmm. Hmm. What's in it for me?

You get your life back.

I have my life.

Uh, no, you don't.

Come on.

Think about it. How many
Indian weddings are you invited to?

-Sixteen.
-Nineteen.

We go to the ones we're both invited to.
Brings it down to 14.

-How'd you come up with that?
-Math whiz. Don't question the numbers.

Well, Asha, I'm not even agreeing to one.

If we join forces,
we won't have to deal with all of this.

-Some people enjoy this.
-Do you, Ravi?

You wanna lie, tell everyone we're dating.

Not lie, just role-play
until wedding season's over.

I'm offering you a choice.

Summer with me or summer with…

her.

Hi, Pinky Auntie.

Yeah, I'm gonna pass on both.

Fine, I'll pay you. Fifty bucks a wedding.

God. You're kidding me.

-Seventy-five.
-No.

-One hundred, final offer.
-Five hundred.

-What?
-I'm kidding.

Seriously, I'm not interested
in a pretend relationship, okay?

Can we please focus?

Don't be so selfish.
Do this for your parents.

At least until wedding season is over.

He agreed to fake date you?
What's wrong with him?

Actually, what's wrong with you?

I'm a genius, that's what's wrong with me.

What you gonna do when mom finds out?

She'll be thrilled.
That's the whole point.

How do half a billion women
wear these things?

Yeah, she'll be thrilled
until she finds out the truth.

Relax. He's an MIT start-up founder.
He's every mom's dream.

And the best part is,
nobody has to be miserable anymore.

Dad, please just let me buy you
a new dishwasher?

That is so typical
of your generation, huh?

Throw money
every time there's a little problem.

You know, Dad, um, you'll be happy
to hear this, actually, um…

-I'm gonna see Asha again.
-Oh really?

-Yeah.
-Hmm.

She agreed?

Yeah, Dad, she agreed.

To go out with you again?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yeah, Dad, I'm sure.

Bete, listen to me.

Don't let this opportunity pass you by.
Act quickly.

Okay Dad, we just met.

Sure. But now is the time
to make your move.

Before she finds out what
we've been up to.

Okay.
Listen Dad, I'm running late.

Yeah.

Please don't hurt your back, okay?

Ravi, remember what your mother said.

The past is the past.
There's no need to bring it up.

Shh.

Bye, Dad.

Veena, he's got another date!

Hey, I have singles.

Asha's happiness is worth more
than one dollar.

So is mine.

Suneeta, you're quite the matchmaker, huh?

Yes. Asha and Ravi made quite
the cute couple at Sona's wedding.

-Really?
-The spelling bee guy?

You could even say, unbelievable.

What is so unbelievable about that?

Well, go and see for yourself.

Hai raam.

Vijay, very handsome.

-Oh, do you have change for a twenty?
-Sure.

Vijay!

Vijay! Quickly. Quickly!

Look.

-That's him.
-Yeah.

-He's tall.
-He's sitting.

Yeah, but you can tell.

Take a picture. Get your camera.

Some light reading?

Oh. Yeah.

You work in finance, right?

Um, microfinance.

Hmm, that's the tiny kind, right?

That's a bit reductive, but yeah.

I'm trying to create a lending initiative

for women in Southeast Asia
so they can start their own businesses.

Wow, okay. That is impressive.

Thank you.

Maybe read a couple of those and
if we find time, do a lap around the room.

You know, say hi to the deities.
Keep up appearances and stuff.

-Maybe in a little while.
-Okay.

Or we could give tips
to your brother-in-law

on how to pray, 'cause…

What is he doing?

-You think he's gonna down dog?
-It's very possible.

Oh, Nick.

It was endearing in the beginning.
But now it's just…

Yeah, I wish he'd be himself.
The low-key guy I fell in love with.

Nick's still that guy.

Weddings make people crazy.
I would know, okay?

Just talk to him. Come here, sit down.

This is for you.

Nani gave it to me when I got engaged.

Oh my God.

Asha, are you sure?

Yes.

Of course.

You gonna try it on?

-Whoa!

You guys want some hot samosas?

Asha, Yoshi. Yoshi, Asha.

Hey.

-Yo, that's your fake girlfriend? Dude!
-Shut up.

-Sorry! What?
-And her sister, Priya.

-Priya. Hi.
-I'm engaged.

-Doesn't change it.
-What's with the van?

-I'm just helping Ravi out with stuff.
-Just deliveries. Actually, we gotta go.

Yeah. A busboy got stuck in a walk-in.
We have to go save him.

-Okay.
-We just stopped to say hi.

-See you at the wedding, yeah?
-Yeah.

Nice seeing you.

Bye.

I… thought he had a start-up.

Maybe they're still… starting up.

Mm.

Ravi!

Sorry I'm late.

Okay, save it. Some auntie thought
I was single and put me on coconut duty.

-Aunties. He's with me. We're a couple.

And here's the thing, Asha.

Like, I don't like weddings either.
But if you say you're gonna go,

I mean, you go.

Okay, understood.

Look, I'll finish coconut duty.

What is coconut duty?

All right, give me that.

-Do you need a peeler?
-No, you don't.

Thank you all so much for coming.

It's been so, so beautiful
to spend the day with you.

Today isn't about being Hindu or Muslim.

It's about being in love.

A love that in the past
would have been impossible.

A love that our…

…our parents don't support.

But we still love them.

Lakshmi, you're the love of my life.

Today, tomorrow, always.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I can't believe
their parents didn't turn up.

Well. Your parents, happiness.
Your parents, happiness.

-Shouldn't have to be a choice.
-That's true.

-How's your pitch going?
-It's going. Kind of.

Kind of?

Yeah. Sometimes I feel like
I shouldn't have left banking.

Come on. You're saving the world, right?
One tiny step at a time.

No one said it'd be easy.
Besides, there's always second chances.

Not always.

Always. I mean, look at them, right?

They broke up 'cause their parents
didn't want them together, but…

-There they are, just going for it.
-Hm.

You know what?

Let's go dance.

-Really?
-Yeah. We may never get a second chance.

All right. Come on.

-Wanna go sizzle?
-Let's go sizzle.

I found it, over.

On my way, over.

Oh, wait. Did you find any pics
of Dad's Members Only phase?

It ain't a phase if he still wears it.
But I did find one with perms, over.

-Ooh!
-Check it out.

Ha! That is definitely going
in the slideshow.

Okay. Look at this.

That doesn't look fun.

Well, they only knew each other,
like, three weeks.

She must have been so scared.

Have you talked to Nick yet?

Uh. I haven't had the heart.
He's now taking Bollywood dance lessons.

-Thought you didn't want a dance routine.
-I don't. It's way too much pressure.

Okay, Pri, you gotta talk to him.

Do you think Mom
had a boyfriend before Dad?

No. Impossible.
He must be a cousin or something.

Look at your cousin like that?

Yeah, but, I mean,
Mom would never do something like that.

Something like what, huh?

What are you two up to?

Uh, the wedding slideshow.

Oh. Very exciting. Is Ravi coming
for lunch? I'm frying puris.

Oh. Nah.

What nah?
When are you going to let us meet him?

When are you gonna let us meet him?

We're just not there yet.

Marriage is a lifetime of getting there.
Invite him.

Ma, if you push,
you know what's gonna happen.

The way to a man's heart
is through his stomach.

-That is so gross.
-Or an angiogram.

That is also very gross.

You laugh, but it's the hollow,
cynical laugh of the lonely.

That was very harsh.

Yeah, this is gonna blow up
in your face, Ash.

No, it's not. I know what I'm doing.

Well, I know Mom and Dad.
Wait till they get too invested.

It's just not gonna happen. Over and out.

So, Veena, Dinesh.
We may have another wedding in our future.

Pooja Patel heard from Pinky that
they went straight from fizzle to sizzle.

-So let's start planning a date!
-What?

I told you!

Oh, after all these years of hoping,
planning, praying, finally!

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Pooja is a number one rascal.

I just know my Ravi's happier
than he's ever been.

I told him, "Just meet Asha."

"She's such a good girl.
What's the harm?" Now, see?

They think our way of doing things
is old-fashioned and silly.

Asha says our thinking is stuck
in the India of 40 years ago.

But Asha became an economist
like her old man. That's something.

But she's too idealistic.

I admire you, Dinesh.

Running this restaurant,
putting Ravi through college.

It's no small feat.

I wanted more than this for him.

So tell us more about Ravi's company.

You know these start-ups, huh?
So secretive.

-Who knows what he does.

Say no more. Asha doesn't want to tell us
anything about her new job either.

To our kids
who think their parents know nothing.

What would they do without us, huh?

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

-They'd be penniless.
-And barren.

Okay, listen to this one.

Her alcoholic husband walked out
right after their son was born.

So then we gave her a loan
to open a tea shop.

Her son became the first in her family
to go to high school.

Yeah, you know what this means?
These loans were her lucky break.

Now that's a story to believe in.

What are you all smiley, smiley about?

-The suits are coming back.
-Singapore?

Yes!

-In a few weeks.
-No!

Okay, just… I gotta get to work then.

Exactly. But not here.

One of our big donors is having a soiree
and you're going to be my wingwoman.

That is if you don't have another wedding.

Oh, I did, but I told Ravi
I have a sinus infection, so…

Oh, that's a great plan. Fake being sick
to fake out your fake boyfriend.

Ever thought of getting out
of this racket and going back to London?

I hadn't until recently.

The head
of our Southeast Asia division just quit.

-Couldn't handle the poverty.
-Would you take that job?

In a New York minute.

But it must be earned, love.
Hence, the return of Singapore.

No pressure there.

Look, I should go back to the office--

-Desert me and you're fired.
-Okay.

Now, come on.
Let's enjoy this bargain drink,

this impossibly hip DJ,
and whatever it is hanging in this room.

Hey, do you think
that DJ would do Priya's wedding?

Maybe you should go check.
And look out for donors on the way.

Copy that.

Uh…

Hi.

Mr. DJ?

Um, I'm sorry to interrupt your set,
and I don't want to cause offense.

But is there any chance
that you do weddings at all?

Uh, actually, someone's booked me solid
on the Indian wedding circuit.

Ravi?

Sinus infection cleared up?

Um, well, NyQuil.

-So you're--
-Spellbound. Am I right?

-Mm-hmm.

-Ravi, this is my boss…
-James?

Yo.

-Yes.

You'd think they'd have nicer cheese
at a fancy gig like this.

That's butter, dude.

How do you both know each other?

I heard him play a few sets at a club
in Ibiza back in my party boy days.

He brought the house down.

-Clearly.

Okay.

Well, I'm gonna go schmooze.

-I'm gonna--
-Not you.

Enjoy the butter.

Thanks, buddy.

You want to grab some air?

Yeah, uh, I could do air.

Air is good.

Keep it chill. No lasers.

-Have a little faith, Rav.
-I have no faith.

Nice to see you, Yoshi.

Nice to see you too.
Is your sister still engaged?

Yes, she is.

All right, cool.

How's everyone doing? All right.

DJ Spellbound's a little busy,
so Yoshi's in the house.

-So, DJ Spellbound, huh?
-Mm-hmm.

-That's not ironic at all.

You know, it started as joke,
but, um, kinda just stuck.

Hmm.

So, um, what's your big secret?
Why don't you have a real boyfriend?

Why don't I have a real boyfriend?

I think it's a legit question here.

Okay, yeah. It is.

After things ended with Krish,
I figured why stop there?

Mm.

So I quit my job, moved to Jersey
in the hope of starting over in many ways.

Of course, my mom thinks
I quit banking just to spite her.

-Did you?
-Probably.

So what about you?
DJ… ing, how did that happen?

You know, my backup skill set is spelling
incredibly esoteric words.

Can't really make a living off that.

-Logorrhea. I mean…
-Logorrhea.

But no, like, when I was a kid,
everything I did was for my parents.

Right? Everything. Except music.
Music was for me.

I mean, music used to make me happy.

But, uh, lately, I don't know. I mean…

I've been on the road for, like,
ten years just working nonstop.

I don't know what I'm working for anymore.

So…

I figured I'd take a break,
just come back home and fix my family.

I'm sorry. It's kind of complicated.

Damn it, Yoshi.

-I'm sorry. I gotta…
-Yeah, you gotta go.

-DJ stuff.
-Yeah, I gotta… Right.

Are we good?

We're good. We're cool. Yeah.

Great.

Yoshi!

Oh, God.

I can't believe he's Spellbound.

Wait, you actually know who he is?

I don't, I'm a nerd,
but he's got like a gazillion followers.

I do not trust DJs.

-Why? What's wrong with DJs?

I'm sure they're talented.
I don't understand what they do,

so don't respect it.

-What's he hiding?
-I don't think he's hiding anything.

It just never came up.

You've been to a bazillion weddings
and never asked him about his background?

I… I didn't want him
to get the wrong idea.

Ash, what if it's not the wrong idea?

Priya, have you been talking to Mom again?

Let it happen. You want it, sis.

-Shh!
-But--

What you want…

is a Mumbai Monster.

A Mumbai Monster.

What is it?

It's a masala mojito infused
with cumin seeds and Kashmiri chilies.

It is…

-Oh.

That good, huh?

Oh my God. That's disgusting.

So what do we know about him?

Okay, he was born in Jersey City
and he graduated MIT 2011.

My pal Joby graduated in 2010.
I can see what I can find out.

No, we're not snooping on Ravi.

It's not snooping.

I'm collecting information
about him without him knowing.

If he is gonna join our family,
we got to find out who he really is.

He's not joining our family, guys, okay?
We're just--

You're just more than fake dating.

You like him, admit it.

So Nick, how's the, um…
How's the Hindi coming along?

The bride is
driving pickles around.

He's very good.

I said, "It's going great." Right?

Pretty much.

Hey, babe. Maybe you don't need
to try so hard to impress Mom and Dad.

Yes, I do. I do.

Nick, you're a neurosurgeon.

Here's the thing.

A binary craniotomy is nothing
compared to planning an Indian wedding.

And I really want this to go well.

My parents were barely married
seven years.

In Indian traditions,
the souls are linked for seven lifetimes.

Wow, that's a long time, babe.

It's not nearly enough, pumpkin.

Okay.

I am starving!

Me too. Who runs out of food
at a wedding? Come on!

There wasn't even
a garlic naan in sight. Whoa!

Holy crap, Ravi.

You live here by yourself?

When I'm not traveling, yeah.
I don't get to spend much time here, so…

It's kind of nice, being at home.
Though I did have fun on the road.

Yeah, I can see that.

Anyway, you didn't finish your story.
So you moved to Jersey…

Mm-hmm.

Now what?

-Now I change the world.

No, but seriously, starting this fund up
has been way harder than I expected.

Yeah. Well, you know,
anything worth doing is hard, right?

I remember when I first started DJing

my parents threatened
to stop paying for MIT. It was scary.

So what did you do?

I knew exactly what to do. I panicked.

Parents, happiness. Happiness, parents.

Yeah. Here's to not letting them
drown that inner voice.

Hmm.

Although, you know
what my inner voice is saying right now?

What?

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

-Oh my God.
-I need Taco Bell.

Okay,
every Indian loves Taco Bell.

-Give me a sec.

-Where are the plates?
-Uh, second cabinet.

Okay.

Yoshi. Um, Good Samaritan needs,
like, 27 number eights.

Yeah. Patesh will meet you out back.
And don't forget the mango pickle.

Yeah, and do not be seen again.

All right.

Sorry.

It's okay. Um…

Yoshi works at your parents' restaurant?

Not exactly. You know,
he just picks up stuff sometimes.

Uh-huh. And then
he sends them to food banks.

Sometimes.

Sometimes.

What's going on?

All right. Uh, I've been making these
huge catering orders from Aroma

and giving them to homeless shelters,
food banks, Little League teams.

Okay, but why through Yoshi?

My dad doesn't know.

You're doing this behind his back.
That just feels wrong.

The restaurant is struggling, you know?
And he's a stubborn man.

Huh.

Yeah, anyway. Let's eat.

-I just have one question for you.
-Hmm?

Would you like some mango pickle
with your quesalupa?

You talking dirty to me?

I am stuffed.

There's another quesalupa
with your name on it.

No mas for me.

Shh.

Listen.

What is it?

The sound of no aunties.

No Yoshi.

-No parents.
-Mm-hmm.

Nobody left to fool.

Huh.

I could be making a big mistake
hanging out with, like, this cool DJ,

who, like, drops beats,
turns tables, scratches things.

Yeah, that's me.

I talk a lot when nervous.
It's called logorrhea.

-You might've heard of it.
-Right.

It's… It's this really long word.
I don't know how to spell it…

Did you just kiss me?

Looked like you could use a kiss.

Hmm.

Are we still role-playing?

We're improvising.

Okay.

And I'm boring you. Wow.

Sorry. It's not you.

-Uh-huh. It's the music, right?
-Mm-mm.

Yeah, better be the music.

-What does a DJ actually do?
-I like to think I make people happy.

Make people happy?

Mm-hmm. I connect with people.
I can feel their energy, you know?

Mm.

I can tell when their moods
are shifting. I can build on it.

Music's just something
that brings people together, you know?

I just love being a part of it.
When I was a kid, I used to feel so lost…

Asha?

Okay.

Oh!

Nice moves.

-Hey!
-Hey.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

-How are you feeling?
-Great.

-I haven't slept that well in a long time.
-Yeah, I noticed.

Hey, Ravi, about last night. I'm sorry.

You're sorry.

Yeah, that should never have happened.

Right. No, you know,
it's probably my fault.

I should apologize.
I shouldn't have had you here.

-No, Ravi--
-No, I get it. We had a deal.

No, Ravi.

I mean that I'm sorry that I fell asleep.

I wish I hadn't.
I was having a really nice time.

-Yeah?
-Mm-hmm.

Me too.

But maybe we can just keep this
to ourselves for a little while.

You want to fake that we're fake dating?

I don't want things to get weird.

Can we at least agree
we like each other or…

Hmm…

I don't know.

-I'll take that as a yes.
-Mm-hmm.

Though no one can know
we really like each other.

Exactly.

Oh!

-Are you a dancer?
-Used to be.

-I gotta check that. Sorry.
-No, you don't.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
-What?

It's James. Singapore's coming back.
They're gonna be here in nine hours.

On a Sunday?

Yeah. I'm not ready. I dropped the ball.
I have five years of stories left.

Asha, I've seen you
bust your ass all summer

going through these boxes
looking for this story to believe in.

I don't wanna overstep, but I don't think
you'll find that story in a box.

What does that mean?

You're the story. Okay?

For what it's worth, I believe
in that story like I believe in you.

They'll believe in you.

I'm scared, Ravi.

Everybody's scared.

But you've done
the hard work already, right?

Now you just gotta own what you want,
listen to your heart,

and just let your love
be greater than your fear.

Come here.

You got this.

Ready to clean out the bank of Singapore?

Beat you to it.

Excuse me. You're making progress.

Now, get changed,
and let's go knock their Gucci socks off.

I am changed.

Oh.

Right.

You sure?

Sure.

Thank you.

When I was three years old,

I shocked my parents by calculating
a 12% tip on a pizza delivery.

Numbers've never failed me.

But today, I am not here
to talk about numbers.

I'm here to talk about her.

When we gave Chinda a loan
to open her tailor shop,

we gave her a new life.

We also gave her daughters the ability
to become the first in their family

to attend high school.

Like Chinda, my grandfather…
my dada-ji, also received a loan.

When floods destroyed his crops
in the small town called Mirzapur,

he moved to Mumbai and borrowed
1000 rupees to buy this boat.

With the money that he made fishing,

he was able to send my father
to Ohio State to study economics,

making my dad the first
in our family to finish college.

I am standing in this room today
because of this boat

and because of the sacrifices
that my parents made

to make sure
their children had a better life.

Our story is a reminder

that these loans aren't just a chance
to change a woman's life,

but the chance to change her
entire family's future.

Across continents,

for generations to come.

And if we're being honest,

our lives are better
when their lives are better.

Or as my father would say,

"A rising tide lifts all boats."

That's the real story here.

The question is, how many stories
are we willing to rewrite?

Hey.

Hey yourself.

Thank you.

How can you afford to buy
so many of these?

I'm hopelessly addicted to caffeine
and prefer not to drink alone.

Enjoy it while you can.

Wait, what?

Unfortunately, I won't be able
to keep you here.

James, I thought we--

You convinced them to invest
an additional ten million beyond our ask.

What?

Oh my God!

And you're firing me?

Hardly. When I told London the good news,

they decided to offer
the Southeast Asia division to you.

But that's your promotion.

London can wait.

And let's be honest,
I couldn't do half the job you will.

No, no, no. I can't accept that.

You don't have a choice.

Now, not only did Singapore come through,

but we received an additional
massive donation from Red Star

that really got London's attention.

All because of you.

-Red Star?
-Another charitable trust.

Ash, when it rains it pours,

and our little tin cup
runneth over.

-Hmm.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Yes. It is.

Congratulations, Ash.

Now I have to go figure out
how to spend all this money.

James.

Thank you.

It was just coffee.

Priya! Tea's ready.
And your phone is dinging.

Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God!

Ooh!

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What else could,
"I have big news to share," mean, hey?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, okay. Listen, listen.

Why don't you come for Sunday lunch, hmm?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah, do wear a sari.

Okay. And I've already arranged mithai.

Okay, okay. All right. Bye-bye.

Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much.

What's the occasion?

Just the Shahs coming for lunch.

Accha! Things getting serious, huh?

Hmm, yeah.

A word to the wise.

Don't blindly trust
what Ravi's parents say about him.

Fine, theek hai.

Arre, listen.

Just do a background check.
You know, college, job, horoscope--

Ravi graduated from MIT, for God's sake.

-Suneeta, listen.
-And he makes my Asha happy.

Here we go.

Everybody, come.
Line up. We'll do the photo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming. Coming!

-Come here.
-Come on.

Come, Veena. Okay.

-One, two, three. Say paneer.

Paneer!

I can't wait to see their faces!

-Oh, I hear the door.
-Okay.

Shh, shh.

…getting a pet.

Surpri…

Oh, it's you guys.

Namaste. What's the occasion?
What are we celebrating?

-I'm Nick.
-We're waiting for…

-Oh, I see them coming! Stand over here.
-Okay. Okay.

-Wait, what's going on?

Oh my God.

Surprise!

Look at their faces!

Mom? Dad?

I had no idea that Ravi's parents
were joining us for lunch. Hello.

Oh, your future in-laws
don't need a formal invite.

Sorry, my what?

Your mom is a bit overexcited.

For your news, huh?

We wanted to throw a party,
but this will do for now.

Okay. So tell us your big news!

Oh my God.
No, Mom. That's not what this is.

You're not getting engaged?

What? No. Dad, why would you think that?

You and Asha seem so happy, we thought--

And then maybe my mom got a crazy idea?

Suneeta, I told you
not to let the bull hit you.

Boy, is that true, Mr. M.

Always with the sayings, Vijay!

Okay, then, so what is this big news?

Singapore, Ma!
I got the funding for the loan initiative.

-Oh my God! Congrats!
-Hey!

Thank you.

Is that a promotion?

Yes, actually. And a raise.

-More travel?

You could say that. The position is in
the company headquarters in London, so…

London, London?

Oh no. London, England, babe.

No. No, no, no, no.
I don't accept this. No.

When were you gonna tell me?

Uh, right now.
That's literally what this is.

Wow, London. That's, um…

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Thanks, Dad.

But look. If you're going to go so far
at least get engaged first.

-Mom!
-I agree.

I could check their horoscopes next week.

No horoscope, none of this nonsense.

I agree. They care for each other.
That's all that matters.

Yeah. And Ravi, we know you are a kind,
decent, honest boy. Hmm?

Okay, Auntie, it's nice that you say that,
but I… I need to tell you something.

-Like, all of you.

Ravi.

-Dad?
-Dinesh?

-Are you okay?
-Get some water.

Are you okay?

Ravi, don't say anything.
It's your last chance to be happy!

-Try to relax.
-Quickly, quickly!

I'm okay.

Guys, he's fine. He panicked.

Relax, Dinesh.
They'll get married in their own time.

-Dad, stop it.
-Whiskey.

Okay. Uncle,
that's not the reason he panicked.

He panicked 'cause I was gonna tell you
that my biodata, it's all lies.

But who cares? So is mine. Everyone's is.

Yeah, but Asha, mine is, like--

Yeah, but you did go to MIT.
You do run your own company.

Okay, come on, Dad.
Yeah, I went to MIT. Okay.

I was 16 years old.
I didn't know what I was doing.

So I dropped out, by the way.

That must've been very difficult.
When did you go back?

I didn't go back, Uncle.

I couldn't. I just…

I needed time to figure out what I wanted,
without all the pressure.

And that time, it…

It saved my life.

So, yeah, I didn't finish college.

But I do have a company.

It's just not a start-up. I'm a DJ.

-Hai raam.

Oh.

It's okay.

Why didn't you just tell me?

Asha, I tried to.

He should've come clean way sooner,
but it's not a big deal.

-When we found out, it--
-You and Nick knew about this?

My buddy Joby told me, yeah.

You didn't think
it was important to tell me?

Because we like him.

Right?

Oh yeah, no, we like him. Oh yeah, a lot.

Wait a minute.
Ravi, you had 15 years to make it right?

Go back to school, get a job, but…

You become a DJ?

Ravi, can this lifestyle support a family?

Dad, don't ask him that.
We're not getting engaged.

Yeah, Uncle, I can.

And why are you even responding?

I don't need anyone to support me.
Why is this always about supporting me?

Even if I wanted a family,
I could do it on my own.

All I would really like is some honesty.

But Asha, wasn't it your idea to pretend
to be a couple in the first place?

-What?
-Oh my God.

You lied to us, Asha?

How could you do this?

Because of this!

Because you people drive us insane
with your pressure. This is what happens!

We are dating now, though.

What's the point of that? You're a DJ.
How will you pay for your kids' college?

-Mom…
-Anyone smell the…

'Cause it smells like burning, so…

I told you! No one wants to marry
a bum like you. Now do you see?

Don't call my son a bum!

You encouraged this!

Okay, Dad, stop.

Let me ask you. Who do you think paid for
all the catering orders these last months?

-What?
-Food banks, homeless shelters, the teams.

-What are you talking about?
-Red Star Standard, Dad. Ring a bell?

What about it?

Those are my initials, Dad.
That's me, I'm Red Star Standard.

Red Star Standard?

That's you?

Yeah. It's this charitable fund I just…

Oh my God.

-Asha…

No one panic. The aloo gobi's on fire.

What? Aloo gobi?

-Asha, wait.
-Oh my God!

Did it ever occur to you to ask?

Why are you so upset?

Oh. How many more surprises
do you have for me?

I thought this would make you happy.

"You have to own what you want and trust
your inner voice?" What the hell?

I meant it.

But you don't think
I can do my job on my own.

Asha, you convinced me
it was a good investment--

I wasn't trying to convince you.
I needed to do this by myself.

I just wanted to help.

Help?

The way you helped your dad?
Don't you see that it's so patronizing?

How do you even have so much money?

Rob a bank? Sell endangered species
off the back of a van.

No, it's because of Facebook.

-So you did work at a start-up.
-Not exactly.

I DJ'd a couple parties for them
back in the day and they couldn't pay.

Gave me stock instead.

You made a million bucks
DJing some nerd parties?

A lot more, actually.
Look, it's no big deal.

It is a big deal. I am not some cause.

I know that, Asha. I know that.

At least Krish was honest about the fact
that he didn't believe in me.

-You did it behind my back.
-Seriously?

Let me ask. You ever been honest
about a single relationship?

-Don't turn this around.
-You wanted to role-play.

Yeah, and you broke character.

There is a big difference
between telling a white lie

and being completely untruthful.

Who even are you?

Asha, I'm the guy
who went to 14 weddings with you.

Not because I had to.
Not because my parents forced me to.

I went because I genuinely wanted to.

That's the only thing
I was untruthful about.

That I didn't have to pretend to be
in love with you.

Which is what I am, by the way.

I'm in love with you.

I opened my heart to you, Ravi.

Do you know what that took?

And for the record,

I don't care about MIT.

I trusted you, and you let me down.

Hey, Mom.

I can't believe it, beta. You spent
thousands on orders through Red Star.

He wouldn't let me help you otherwise, so…

You were always different,
even as a child.

And I worried for you.

Mom, what was the point in lying?

Asha and her parents
want nothing to do with me now.

We were only trying to help.

Do not blame your mom.
You met Asha because of that biodata.

Can't you see?

You're our son. We would lie, die,
whatever for your happiness.

Yeah, Dad, but I was happy.

Then you should've kept your mouth shut.

Talk to her.

-She won't take my calls.
-Then go to her.

It doesn't matter.

I came to tell you I'm going back to work.

Yoshi lined up
a bunch of gigs, and I just…

-I think it's time.
-Ravi, no.

Mom, I am done lying.
I'm done pretending to be someone I'm not.

Again, you're running away
the minute things get hard.

Okay. Here's the thing, Dad.

I am not running away.

Okay? This is my job. This is who I am.

I just wish you could see that.
I wish that was enough, but clearly not…

Ravi, it's not that. We want you--

We want the son we lost when
he dropped out of MIT and disappeared.

-We want those years back.
-Yeah, but those years are gone, Dad!

Those years are gone!

But the son you do have is standing
right in front of you. I am right here.

Okay.

I recommend a flat in Shoreditch.

It's murderously expensive,
but you're getting a raise.

They called again to see if you'd signed.

Ash, he's an international DJ.
You'll see him again.

I don't think so.

Look. I'm sorry. I'm confused.

This guy that you pretended to date
and thought was broke,

you actually fell in love with.

Okay. And, it turns out,
oh, he's crazy rich.

Not to mention, he helped you get promoted
over your boss.

He believes in you.

And this is the guy
you never wanna see again.

You need to swallow your pride
you need to sign that contract,

and then you need to apologize
to that boy. It is that simple.

-It's not--
-I don't wanna hear it!

You know what's not simple?

Seeing you go.

I'm gonna miss you.

We're gonna miss you.

I'm gonna hate your phony British accent
you're obviously gonna come home with.

But if you let opportunities
like this pass you by…

-I'm gonna have to kill you.

I know people in this town
who can make that happen.

-Okay.
-If it's really over, why not just go?

What's holding you back?

I guess my family, my parents, my sister.
I've never left them like this before.

We spend so much energy
trying to get away from our parents.

And when we finally get the chance…

It was hard for me
to leave Jamaica for London.

I didn't want to abandon my parents.
In spite of our differences.

And how did you?

I realized my life is where I take it.

My parents will always be there for me.

But opportunities like these
don't come along every day.

So this is where you're saving the world.

-Dad?
-We were just leaving.

Mr. Maurya.

What are you doing here?

You want to go for a walk?

Beta, when I was a young economist,
it was a different time.

White men half as smart as me
would get promoted above me.

I'd get stuck doing their job for them.

You know what my boss said?
He said, "Indians? They're smart, sure,

but they're numbers guys.
They'll never be leaders."

I know. Makes me so mad.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, Dad.

Which is why I was so worried
that you were being too idealistic.

I didn't want you to face
the same disappointment I had.

But, um, look at you.

You did it.

Bigger numbers than I ever dreamt of.

And you know what makes me the most proud?

That you did it on your own terms.

Jah, beti. Go to London. You deserve it.

-Go have the experience of a lifetime.

For me.

I'm sorry that I lied to you.

I'm sorry we drove you crazy.

-I blame it on your mother.

I think I have time for some ice cream.

What kind of job is this?

Offo, where is your sister?

Getting her makeup done. Relax.

Hai Bhagwan.
Why is she only wearing one necklace?

'Cause she's not Mr. T, Ma.

Well, she's late now. Call and see
what time they left their home.

Their home? What do you mean "their home"?

You think I was born yesterday.
I know about the boyfriends.

The sneaking around at night.

And the fact that
Nick and Priya live together.

And yet you didn't say anything.
That is very unlike you.

I wanted her to tell me. I wanted
my daughters to tell me everything.

Well, you know, Ma,
that we've always wanted to.

We just didn't know how.

We never really speak
about that stuff in our family.

You never really even told me
about your life before I was born.

What is there to tell?
I drove my parents crazy, just like you.

I find that very hard to believe.

-I also know you found that photo.
-Of you and that boy?

Parag and I were neighbors.
Our fathers were old friends.

When Parag would come for tea
with his father,

we would sit in the garden
and talk for hours.

Of course, we fell in love.

When it came time to arrange my marriage,
I told my parents about him,

but they forbade it.

He was from a different caste, they said.

My father never spoke
to Parag's family again.

My parents arranged a shaadi for me
to your father and my fate was sealed.

Mom.

That must have been so heartbreaking.

It was.

At first,
I pretended to love your dad.

But eventually,
I didn't need to pretend anymore.

And now I have you girls
and this beautiful life.

Do you ever think about him?

Oh yeah, from time to time.

I told myself, if I ever had daughters,
I would let them choose their fate,

their happiness.

Yeah, as long as we have five MBAs,
choose a nice guy, and make round rotis.

-This looks good. You should wear this.
-This isn't Game of Thrones.

Listen to you, Miss Taco Bell.
When have you even made one roti?

-I made, like, a quarter once.
-Yeah, once.

Oh, beta. I hate to see you go to London.

But that is your fate.

And darling, I know Ravi's not perfect,
but I feel he's your happiness.

I see the way he looks at you.

It's exactly the same way
your father's looked at me

since the day we met.

-Why are you sitting around? Priya's gone!
-What?

She's didn't show up for makeup
and her phone is off.

She was supposed to do that an hour ago.

Calm down. She's gotta be here somewhere.
Let's split up.

Should've had sons.

Vijay, call 911!

-I go this way, you that way.
-Yeah, okay.

-Priya?
-Priya?

-Ah! Sorry, Aunties.

Priya!

-Pri!
-Darling?

-Sorry! How many bathrooms are there?

Priya? Priya, beta!

Don't worry, everything's fine. Priya!

-Asha.
-Nick?

-I need help.
-Have you seen Priya?

-Priya?
-Yes!

-No. Wait, I need your…
-Priya! Pri?

Pri?

-Pri, is that you?
-No.

-Want to talk about it?
-No!

Uh, okay, I don't mean to rush you,
but your guests have started to arrive.

I don't care!

Come on, open up. It's only me.

It's fricking open.

Oh.

-What is going on here?

I didn't want the ice sculptures.
I didn't…

I didn't want the gold-leaf cake,
and why can't he just wear a tuxedo?

Okay, Dr. Priya, time for a little chat.

He won't even tell me
what his big surprise is.

Then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?

I don't think this is about cakes
or ice sculptures or surprises.

-I think this is about you.
-How is this possibly about me?

For some reason, I think
this whole seven lifetimes thing

has you kind of freaked out.

It just got me thinking.

Every generation in our family
has done this for centuries.

What if I'm the first one to screw it up?

You don't have to worry.
I already screwed it up.

But I'm the first one to marry someone
who isn't Indian.

Is that what this is about? 'Cause Nick is
way more Indian than we are.

Are you seriously gonna say that to me?
How's that supposed to make me feel…

I know. Listen, listen, listen.

-Nick is crazy about you.

Okay? I mean, otherwise
he wouldn't be dressed the way he is.

-How's he dressed?
-Doesn't matter.

What matters is that he loves you.

And Mom and Dad love him.

Or at least, they will learn to.

The only question that remains is, do you?

But I'm scared.

We're all scared.

If you don't marry Nick today,

you're gonna regret it
for the rest of your life.

Pri, you have a chance
to live your life the way you want to.

So just tune out the noise.

Listen to your heart.

Let your love be greater than your fear.

That's beautiful, Ash.

-Did you come up with that yourself?
-Yep.

No.

It was someone
a little bit smarter than me.

We need to get you into makeup. Now.

-Really?
-Yes, really. You should see your face.

God!

Priya! Thank God!
Quickly, let's get you ready and dressed.

-Have you been drinking?
-No.

Yes. Get her some coffee.

Wait, wait, no. Let's get you dressed.

There's something I need to do first.

-Where you going?
-Don't worry, I'll be back.

Hai raam!
I can smell the Pinot Grigio on you.

-I know. I was 12 years old.
-Oh my God.

And so, I'm alone with this person
who's driving me crazy.

I had to walk home. Can you imagine that?

-And I decided to keep it.
-Ravi?

-Asha. What're you doing here?
-I was an idiot. I owe you an apology.

Asha, you don't have to--

I never had a chance to thank you.
For going along with my crazy scheme.

For teaching me how to drop beats
and turn tables.

For donating 50 years' worth
of Indian takeout to my work.

I know it came from your heart.

Because everything you do
comes from your heart.

And I was wrong to say
you didn't believe in me.

I'm sorry.

Ash…

Um, Ravi, who is this?

Doesn't matter.

What matters is this is a great guy,
you know?

He's brilliant. He's kind.
He's a true original.

He might seem like
a bit of a slacker at first.

I thought so too.

And you should never play him
at Bananagrams. Ever.

As you get to know him, he grows on you.

And if you're not too blind,

you'll find he's the kind of guy
you want cheering you on.

Always.

Ash.

-Asha.
-Go.

-Go!
-Asha!

It's not what you think!

Asha. Asha, wait!

-Everything's gonna be fine.
-Why do you keep saying that?

Why do you keep telling me to calm down.
This is serious.

People are listening.

-Why are we here?
-Thank God you're here.

Great. Now we need the groom.

Where's Nick?

-You haven't seen him?
-No. Why?

This is a disaster!

If this is his surprise,
this is not funny.

This white guy is taking
Indian Standard Time to a new level.

How could he just disappear?

-I did see him before and he--
-He what?

He was asking for help.

-You didn't help him?
-I was looking for you!

-God, our daughters will never marry!
-Ma. Come on.

Is that an elephant?

-Whoo!

Hai Bhagwan.

Oh. My. God.

Welcome, Spice Girls!

Priya.

You are a dead onion.

With you, I'm a thin banana.

-Did I… I said…
-No.

-No?
-No.

My God, I'm so sorry I was so late.

I know you didn't want a whole thing,
and I did a whole thing.

It was perfect.

I love you so much.

Come on, let's get you married!

Congratulations, guys. Whoo!

And congratulations to my mom and dad too,
for staying out of their way.

-Mostly.
-Little bit.

One thing that I have learned about love…

is that it's a lot
like moving to a new country.

Trying to build something
where nothing existed before.

It's hanging on and letting go.

It's messy, it's beautiful,

like any giant leap of faith.

So congratulations to the two of you
for taking that leap.

May you take many more. I love you.

-Cheers to Nick and Priya!
-Cheers!

Cheers.

Thank you.

Aw! You're welcome.

I love you guys.

Thank you, Ash.

You could get married too.

-I love you.
-Mom!

And thank you to everyone
who celebrated with us today.

But we have a surprise for you.

I am honored to invite

our own DJ Spellbound!

That's Ravi!

Look, Asha, that's Ravi.

You have to say something to them.

Stop the music! Stop the music!

What in God's name is going on?
Pinky, please sit down.

Suneeta, Vijay, it is my duty to tell you
that this boy is a fraud.

-Pinky, it's okay.
-I tried to warn you.

No, no, no. Pinky, enough.

Enough.

You need to let this go.

Maybe it's time we learn something
from our kids and leave the shame behind.

Pinky, it's over. Come.

Sorry. She's a little drunk.

Um, if I may, uh…

Pinky Auntie's right.

I haven't been honest about who I am
for a very, very long time.

It's okay, Ravi.

Thank you, Uncle, but I'm sorry, um…

Not for me. For the people I've hurt.

Especially you, Asha.

And to you, Nick and Priya.

I, uh, know a wedding
isn't the place for this, but I, um…

-Dad, just--
-Please.

-What are you doing?
-Let me speak. Let me speak.

Yes. Ravi did not graduate from MIT.
He does not have a start-up.

-Is there a point? What are you doing?
-Yes.

The point is that it doesn't matter.

I, we…

are very proud that you're our son.

Aw.

Thanks, Dad.

Okay, enough.

Asha, I'm sorry
I wasn't more honest with you.

Reality is, I've never had truer feelings
than when I was pretending to date you.

I wasn't even really pretending.

Asha, you're gonna change the world.

That beautiful mind and that big heart.

I just hope there's room for me in it.
Someday.

What about her?

Me?

That's Pihu. Um, she's my cousin.

-Uh.

Say hi, Pihu.

Hi.

Come here.

Go.

Whoo! Yay! Yes!

-Yeah!
-Finally!

My name is Asha Maurya.

And I have a joyous appetite for life.

I am a natural in the kitchen.

And yearn to have a family to feed.

I save the world by day.

But live a quiet,
traditional life by night.

At heart, I'm just a simple girl
whose hobbies include fine dining

and relaxing at home.

Seeking my Indian Prince Charming
with a freelance job and a heart of gold.

I love weddings and dream
of having a grand one of my own someday.

Maybe.

I think.

♪ If I’m upset
You can make me feel better