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1
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,796
[♪]
2
00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:07,424
(crows cawing)
3
00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:10,761
Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy,
this is a great booking.
4
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:12,945
Don't bubbeleh me, boychik.
5
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:16,324
Entertaining the kids at
Kelly Clark son's housewarming.
6
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:19,843
It's not my fault you lost
all your money on NFTs...
7
00:00:19,929 --> 00:00:21,605
Non-funny TV shows.
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,441
Now get to work,
you're behind on your Cameos.
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,017
(groans)
10
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:28,226
Hey, hey, Jacob!
11
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:31,448
Your dad's super-sad he couldn't
make it to your bar mitzvah.
12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,024
It's a real shonda.
13
00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:36,796
Also, all the best
from Dad's new wife, Shonda.
14
00:00:36,881 --> 00:00:41,281
(laughing)
15
00:00:41,396 --> 00:00:43,247
Oh...
16
00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,612
Thank you so much
for doing this, Krusty.
17
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,131
Kelly really appreciates it.
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,883
And the children are all
huge fans. Right, kids?
19
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,637
- Mm-hmm. - Totally.
- Yeah, we love you, Crisco.
20
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,429
(groans)
21
00:00:56,991 --> 00:01:00,485
Oh, what's that Kelly Clarks on
got that I don't?
22
00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:03,915
We all won singing contests
20 years ago.
23
00:01:03,999 --> 00:01:07,252
Oh, where's my infinity toilet?
24
00:01:07,336 --> 00:01:10,296
Oh, that toilet isn't
from American Idol money.
25
00:01:10,381 --> 00:01:12,171
You're looking
at daytime-syndicated
26
00:01:12,227 --> 00:01:13,144
talk show wealth.
27
00:01:13,228 --> 00:01:14,813
See those mega mansions?
28
00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:17,315
Well, they belong to
the superstars of daytime TV:
29
00:01:17,399 --> 00:01:19,392
-Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams,
-Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
30
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,152
- And that jerk Doctor Phil.
- (groans)
31
00:01:21,236 --> 00:01:24,468
All bought and paid for
with syndicated megabucks.
32
00:01:24,593 --> 00:01:26,570
I see something in you, Krusty.
33
00:01:26,655 --> 00:01:28,993
Oh, I was gonna put it back.
34
00:01:29,077 --> 00:01:30,495
You have daytime chops.
35
00:01:30,579 --> 00:01:32,647
There's always a place on TV
for a Regis...
36
00:01:32,731 --> 00:01:35,166
A cranky but lovable,
sexless grandpa.
37
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,551
Yeah, and what makes you
the expert?
38
00:01:38,587 --> 00:01:40,171
(exclaims)
39
00:01:40,255 --> 00:01:44,326
Here's the real test.
Get that mom squad dancing.
40
00:01:44,410 --> 00:01:47,253
Daytime audiences love to dance.
41
00:01:47,337 --> 00:01:49,106
Forget it, lady.
I still got my dignity.
42
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,333
- (phone chimes)
- Hey, wait.
43
00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:52,834
Mm...
44
00:01:52,918 --> 00:01:54,277
Hey, hey, Bryson!
45
00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:57,263
Your mom wanted me
to congratulate you on...
46
00:01:57,347 --> 00:01:59,858
getting your braces tightened.
47
00:01:59,942 --> 00:02:02,026
Make up a rap about it?
48
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:04,863
(groans)
Look, fine, I'll dance.
49
00:02:04,947 --> 00:02:07,031
(grumbles)
50
00:02:07,115 --> 00:02:10,109
♪ Apple bottom jeans,boots with the fur ♪
51
00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:11,369
♪ With the fur ♪
52
00:02:11,453 --> 00:02:14,539
♪ The whole clubwas lookin' at her ♪
53
00:02:14,623 --> 00:02:16,374
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
54
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:18,193
- (women whooping)
- ♪ Next thing you know ♪
55
00:02:18,277 --> 00:02:21,787
♪ Shawty got low, low, low,low, low, low, low ♪
56
00:02:21,871 --> 00:02:24,957
♪ Them baggy sweat pants andthe Reeboks with the straps. ♪
57
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,401
- (Bart and Lisa laughing)
- (Santa's Little Helper barking)
58
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:31,039
What's taking so long?
59
00:02:31,123 --> 00:02:32,983
All this food I can't eat
is taunting me.
60
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:35,910
I read that grain-free
is supposed to be good.
61
00:02:35,994 --> 00:02:37,212
Or was it grain-full?
62
00:02:37,296 --> 00:02:38,730
Mom, can we get a gecko?
63
00:02:38,814 --> 00:02:40,490
I want a guinea pig.
64
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:42,808
How about both in one cage,
and see what happens?
65
00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:45,311
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, please, mom?
66
00:02:45,395 --> 00:02:47,340
- Please, come on, a gecko and a guinea pig.
- No! Why would we...
67
00:02:47,424 --> 00:02:49,465
(sighs)
68
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:59,083
Marge, honestly, is this
how you pictured your life?
69
00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:01,252
I think not.
70
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:03,922
Yes, I lick my behind.
Big surprise.
71
00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:05,924
Excuse me, would you
like to come participate
72
00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:07,575
in a focus group?
73
00:03:07,659 --> 00:03:10,020
Yes, anything but this.
74
00:03:10,104 --> 00:03:11,728
(scoffs)
Just pick a food.
75
00:03:12,922 --> 00:03:14,481
Oh...
76
00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:20,030
We want to know what you want
in your daytime programming.
77
00:03:20,114 --> 00:03:22,848
There are no wrong answers
and no bad ideas.
78
00:03:22,932 --> 00:03:25,427
In that case, recipes.
79
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:26,535
Sure.
80
00:03:27,846 --> 00:03:29,097
Air-fryer recipes.
81
00:03:29,181 --> 00:03:30,706
(groans)
82
00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:33,710
Celebrities come on the show?
83
00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:35,194
Well, yes, obviously, but...
84
00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:36,955
Put it on the board, then.
85
00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:39,123
Uh, I was thinking...
86
00:03:39,207 --> 00:03:41,943
- Something with vacuums.
- (groans)
87
00:03:42,027 --> 00:03:44,177
(both exclaiming)
88
00:03:45,864 --> 00:03:48,299
Shiny coat or liver support?
89
00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:51,101
Why are they doing this to us?
90
00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:54,730
- Hats?
- What about hats, Helen?
91
00:03:55,724 --> 00:03:56,958
Maybe...
92
00:03:57,042 --> 00:03:59,218
babies wearing hats?
93
00:03:59,302 --> 00:04:02,146
And it's a whole
baby hat fashion show?
94
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,798
- Exactly. Exactly.
- Oh, yeah, there you go. - Ooh.
95
00:04:03,882 --> 00:04:05,242
That's not bad.
96
00:04:05,326 --> 00:04:07,727
And you know how
there are just too many
97
00:04:07,811 --> 00:04:09,562
dog food options these days?
98
00:04:09,646 --> 00:04:12,824
What if you brought out
Instagram dogs
99
00:04:12,908 --> 00:04:14,993
and had them do a taste test?
100
00:04:15,077 --> 00:04:16,995
Wow!
Well, that's really good.
101
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:18,813
What other ideas do you have?
102
00:04:18,897 --> 00:04:20,498
Candle unboxing and sniffing.
103
00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:24,152
Celebrities read nice tweets
about other celebrities.
104
00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:26,596
Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns.
105
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,506
Funny bed-making fails.
106
00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:29,582
And...
107
00:04:29,666 --> 00:04:33,495
tweens explain TikToks
to carpool moms.
108
00:04:33,579 --> 00:04:34,728
Eh?
109
00:04:36,081 --> 00:04:38,108
You're a natural.
You've got nice ideas
110
00:04:38,192 --> 00:04:40,001
coming out the wazoo.
111
00:04:40,085 --> 00:04:43,004
You know, I'm in the market
for a new segment producer.
112
00:04:43,088 --> 00:04:44,263
You are?
113
00:04:44,347 --> 00:04:45,690
Will you excuse me for a second?
114
00:04:45,774 --> 00:04:47,191
Jerry, you're fired.
115
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,701
I'm... I'm free.
116
00:04:51,354 --> 00:04:52,938
Segment producer?
117
00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:54,291
I don't know.
I-I should probably
118
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:57,417
talk it over with my family.
(gasps)
119
00:05:02,413 --> 00:05:04,765
I'll take the job.
120
00:05:05,277 --> 00:05:06,952
Be warned, segment producer.
121
00:05:07,036 --> 00:05:09,639
No one makes it out of these
shows unchanged.
122
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:13,143
Oh, well, then it's a good thing
I'm not much of a changer.
123
00:05:13,227 --> 00:05:15,979
You can keep your job
or you can keep your soul,
124
00:05:16,063 --> 00:05:17,205
but you can't keep both.
125
00:05:17,289 --> 00:05:19,707
Also, when you
turn in your receipts,
126
00:05:19,791 --> 00:05:22,544
break them down
between dining and mileage
127
00:05:22,628 --> 00:05:25,304
or you'll await
the reimbursements...
128
00:05:25,388 --> 00:05:26,571
forever!
129
00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:36,059
So this is behind the scenes
of a TV show.
130
00:05:36,143 --> 00:05:38,228
So much hustle.
131
00:05:38,312 --> 00:05:39,837
And bustle.
132
00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,800
Mm... mm.
133
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,404
This is your desk.
134
00:05:47,488 --> 00:05:50,741
And this is where you can pin
all your genius segment ideas.
135
00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:52,518
With five shows a week,
it's very important
136
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,078
that you always
be thinking up segments.
137
00:05:55,162 --> 00:05:56,467
A daytime talk show without
138
00:05:56,552 --> 00:05:59,082
fun and interesting segments
is like a...
139
00:05:59,166 --> 00:06:01,084
You, finish my metaphor.
140
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,361
Uh, um...
141
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,697
Get me a baked potato
142
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,199
so I can throw it at your head.
143
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,426
- Now!
- (exclaims, whimpers)
144
00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:12,578
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
145
00:06:13,531 --> 00:06:15,690
(humming a tune)
146
00:06:15,774 --> 00:06:17,543
Oh, I-I don't need
to order lunch.
147
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:21,046
My kids packed mine as a
special treat for my first day.
148
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,005
Aw.
149
00:06:25,192 --> 00:06:28,128
Hmm. Maybe I will
take a look at that menu.
150
00:06:28,212 --> 00:06:31,798
Can I order you something, um...
What-what's your name?
151
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:33,967
Uh, to make it simpler
for the producers,
152
00:06:34,051 --> 00:06:35,601
we're-we're all named Jordan.
153
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:41,475
I should've ordered some salad
154
00:06:41,559 --> 00:06:45,069
to go with my salad toppings.
(chuckles)
155
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,781
Mm.
156
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,703
Oh.
157
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,398
(laughing)
158
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:58,751
What the hell is this?
159
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,827
You people
didn't write me any jokes.
160
00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:03,404
You don't need jokes.
The women in our audience
161
00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,482
are just happy
to be out of the house.
162
00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:08,260
They want to dance to
clean versions of Pitbull songs
163
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,746
and go home with a free copy
of a Real Housewives memoir.
164
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:14,007
Your only job is just be nice.
165
00:07:14,091 --> 00:07:16,042
It's all about nice.
166
00:07:16,126 --> 00:07:18,996
Did you just make eye contact
with the host?
167
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,347
No, I would never!
168
00:07:20,431 --> 00:07:21,348
(growling)
169
00:07:21,432 --> 00:07:23,183
- Aah!
- Oh!
170
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:26,837
Ladies and gay friends,
I'm MC Hairbone,
171
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:29,673
the funkiest daytime DJ
in the world.
172
00:07:29,757 --> 00:07:31,933
Get on your feet for your
newest, non-threatening-est
173
00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:34,602
king of late morning
or early afternoon
174
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:37,180
depending on your
local market and time zone:
175
00:07:37,264 --> 00:07:38,865
Krusty!
176
00:07:38,949 --> 00:07:41,126
♪ Apple bottom jeans,
boots with the fur ♪ - (cheering)
177
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,628
♪ With the fur ♪
178
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,872
♪ The whole club was
lookin' at her ♪ - (grunting)
179
00:07:45,956 --> 00:07:47,874
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
180
00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:50,193
♪ Next thing you know,shawty got low, low ♪
181
00:07:50,277 --> 00:07:52,912
♪ Low, low, low,low, low, low ♪
182
00:07:52,996 --> 00:07:56,291
♪ Them baggy sweat pants andthe Reeboks with the straps ♪
183
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,477
- ♪ With the straps ♪
- ♪ She turned around and gave ♪
184
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,646
♪ That big booty a slap. ♪
185
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,374
(groans)
Look at this.
186
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:05,818
I already got
a wardrobe malfunction.
187
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,653
(audience laughs)
188
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,737
That's the kind of joke we get.
189
00:08:12,052 --> 00:08:13,263
Ah.
190
00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:15,732
[♪]
191
00:08:15,986 --> 00:08:18,497
Oh, my God,
this is my first segment.
192
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,408
I hope people like it, Jordan.
193
00:08:21,492 --> 00:08:24,092
Look at this guy.
He's saying,
194
00:08:24,177 --> 00:08:26,413
"I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap."
195
00:08:26,497 --> 00:08:28,565
(laughing, whooping)
196
00:08:28,649 --> 00:08:30,491
These are my people.
197
00:08:30,575 --> 00:08:33,161
And they're raising the roof
for my idea.
198
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:36,646
Can you believe
we get paid for this?
199
00:08:36,748 --> 00:08:38,033
We don't.
200
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:39,910
(audience cheering, whooping)
201
00:08:39,994 --> 00:08:43,004
Bart, you're taking this
really well.
202
00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:45,082
I'd have thought
you'd be hatching some scheme
203
00:08:45,166 --> 00:08:47,219
to get the old Krusty show back.
204
00:08:47,304 --> 00:08:48,480
Why would I do that?
205
00:08:48,607 --> 00:08:50,604
I've got my favorite Krusty
episodes right here.
206
00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:53,076
More than 700 of 'em.
207
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,109
Hm, kind of makes you think.
208
00:08:56,193 --> 00:08:58,762
Once you have enough episodes
of any classic show,
209
00:08:58,846 --> 00:09:00,931
why do you need
to keep making more?
210
00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:02,690
Well, the reason is...
211
00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:04,359
Shh.
Watching classic Krusty.
212
00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,627
(Krusty the Clown
theme song playing)
213
00:09:08,522 --> 00:09:10,290
Oh, it's just so easy.
214
00:09:10,374 --> 00:09:12,125
I don't
have to be funny anymore.
215
00:09:12,209 --> 00:09:13,443
I just have to be nice.
216
00:09:13,527 --> 00:09:16,515
It's the greatest grift
I've ever done.
217
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:19,966
(laughs)
I'm gonna go buy some cars.
218
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:22,469
- Mm...
- You did a great job today, Marge.
219
00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:25,731
You know, we women have to
stick together in this business.
220
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,900
But I also want you
to never quite be sure
221
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,385
where you stand with me,
and just have
222
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:32,721
a general sense of unease
about my intentions.
223
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,390
Does that make sense?
224
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,058
I think so.
225
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,059
Great.
226
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,652
Okay, everybody,
conference room.
227
00:09:38,736 --> 00:09:40,396
Pitch meeting for tomorrow.
228
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,580
You, plaid shirt.
229
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,582
Not you.
Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah.
230
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,083
Bring the binder
of dinner menus.
231
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,160
- ♪ Let me talk to 'em ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
232
00:09:47,244 --> 00:09:49,588
♪ Shawty had them Apple
Bottom jeans ♪ - ♪ Jeans ♪
233
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,666
- ♪ Boots with the fur ♪
- ♪ With the fur ♪
234
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:55,686
♪ The whole clubwas lookin' at her ♪
235
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,003
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
- ♪ She hit the floor ♪
236
00:09:57,087 --> 00:09:59,190
♪ Next thing you know, low ♪
237
00:09:59,274 --> 00:10:01,266
♪ Hey, I ain't never seennothing that'll make me go ♪
238
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,027
♪ This crazy all night,spending my dough ♪
239
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:05,029
♪ Had a million-dollar vibeand a body to go ♪
240
00:10:05,113 --> 00:10:07,589
♪ Them birthday cakes, theystole the show, so sexual ♪
241
00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,182
♪ She was flexible,professional ♪
242
00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:10,701
♪ Drinking X and O ♪
243
00:10:10,785 --> 00:10:12,277
♪ Hold up wait a minute,do I see ♪
244
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:15,037
- ♪ What I think I, whoa ♪
- ♪ Come on. ♪
245
00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:18,858
Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late.
246
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:21,787
You would not believe
the day I had.
247
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,548
Oh, please, let's eat.
I'm starving.
248
00:10:24,632 --> 00:10:26,625
Oh, but if the bill looks high,
it's because
249
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,218
I already ate a full meal here.
250
00:10:30,638 --> 00:10:32,448
And then Krusty
didn't even tell us
251
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,374
he had swapped
the A and B blocks.
252
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:35,726
I'd already preset
the demo table
253
00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:38,787
for my segment,
"popcorn maker wars."
254
00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:40,231
So, then it's my fault
255
00:10:40,315 --> 00:10:42,549
the "reuniting soldiers
and their dogs" segment
256
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:44,293
was such a disaster?
257
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,387
Carla's the one who
turned on the popcorn machines.
258
00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:49,740
And that's
Hair Department Carla?
259
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:52,576
No, Hair Department Carla
is blonde.
260
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:54,653
You know, my day
was pretty crazy, too.
261
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,973
Lenny came in this morning
with a ladybug on his shirt,
262
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,976
and we were seeing how long
before he noticed it.
263
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,587
Segment idea:
"Krusty goes blond."
264
00:11:03,671 --> 00:11:04,922
(laughs)
265
00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:07,258
Lenny made it
all the way to lunch
266
00:11:07,342 --> 00:11:10,002
and then the little guy
just fell off on its own.
267
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,653
(laughs)
268
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,580
We called him Ladybug Lenny
269
00:11:13,664 --> 00:11:15,415
for the rest of the day!
270
00:11:15,499 --> 00:11:16,825
(laughs)
271
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,436
- Ah, ladybugs.
- (phone dings)
272
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,605
Oh, I have to go back
to the office.
273
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:23,849
The viral skateboard grandma
we booked for tomorrow
274
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,734
has a history of racist tweets.
275
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:31,238
Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet.
276
00:11:34,518 --> 00:11:35,527
Hmm.
277
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:36,620
No.
278
00:11:36,704 --> 00:11:39,531
No. Too edgy.
Too soft.
279
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:40,866
What is this, Corden?
280
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:41,850
Seen it.
281
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:44,186
Not timely.
Too timely.
282
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,612
Way too soft.
283
00:11:45,696 --> 00:11:47,298
What is this, Fall on?
284
00:11:47,382 --> 00:11:49,358
"Good luck Mom, we love you."
285
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,617
I don't even get this.
286
00:11:50,701 --> 00:11:52,968
Is that all you got?
287
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:55,388
Mm...
288
00:11:56,874 --> 00:12:00,218
(sighs) Guys, I know I've been
a little stressed lately,
289
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:04,056
but it's so nice for us
to all sit down together.
290
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,376
It's okay, Mom.
You're doing your dream job.
291
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,968
Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom.
292
00:12:09,052 --> 00:12:10,487
Now pass the index cards.
293
00:12:10,571 --> 00:12:11,547
The what?
294
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,549
I'm hungry for segments.
295
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,384
Aah!
296
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,386
What's the matter,
Marge?
297
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,141
You haven't even touched
298
00:12:19,226 --> 00:12:22,018
your steamed pushpins.
299
00:12:23,627 --> 00:12:24,943
Aah!
300
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:26,870
(gasps)
301
00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:29,964
(panting)
302
00:12:30,899 --> 00:12:33,276
(exclaims, gasps)
303
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,089
(all grunting)
304
00:12:40,562 --> 00:12:42,313
Aah! Oh!
305
00:12:42,398 --> 00:12:44,908
Eh? (Sighs)
306
00:12:47,990 --> 00:12:49,573
(cackling)
307
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,694
Aah!
308
00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,338
- (sobbing)
- (whimpering)
309
00:12:54,432 --> 00:12:56,904
(growling)
310
00:12:56,989 --> 00:12:59,471
Mm. Mm...
311
00:12:59,556 --> 00:13:01,729
Look alive, people.
The big boss
312
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,053
wants to see everyone
for a meeting.
313
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:06,373
Krusty's here? But we don't tape
for another eight minutes.
314
00:13:06,693 --> 00:13:09,203
I just wanted to tell you
how grateful I am
315
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:10,555
for all your hard work.
316
00:13:10,639 --> 00:13:12,557
I never knew
doing a television show
317
00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:15,560
could require so little effort
on my part.
318
00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:19,138
If anyone needs anything,
I'll be in my spray tan tent.
319
00:13:19,222 --> 00:13:21,733
Thanks, Krusty.
You earned it.
320
00:13:21,817 --> 00:13:24,627
Back to work. We need
50 branded segment ideas
321
00:13:24,711 --> 00:13:28,055
for Menopause Chapstick and
something called Cereal Wine.
322
00:13:28,139 --> 00:13:29,966
(all groan)
323
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:32,946
At this solemn and holy moment,
324
00:13:33,031 --> 00:13:34,449
I baptize thee...
325
00:13:34,574 --> 00:13:36,897
(phone clicking, chiming)
326
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:39,325
(grumbling)
327
00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:41,449
How are we supposed
to do surprise makeovers
328
00:13:41,534 --> 00:13:42,738
on the mailmen you brought in?
329
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,956
Every one of them
is already gorgeous.
330
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,884
ALL:
Shh!
331
00:13:46,969 --> 00:13:50,556
Special thanks to
the Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew.
332
00:13:50,846 --> 00:13:53,247
(cheering, applause)
333
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:55,519
- That was great.
- It was fine.
334
00:13:55,644 --> 00:13:57,176
I mean, look me in the eye
335
00:13:57,260 --> 00:14:00,163
and tell me where the GIF was.
Tell me.
336
00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:02,941
Uh, uh, uh, when
the little kid break danced.
337
00:14:03,025 --> 00:14:04,442
Um, excuse me, Marge,
338
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:07,445
there seems to be an emergency
at your house.
339
00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:10,281
What is so important
that you pulled me out of work?
340
00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:12,358
Marge, there's no emergency.
341
00:14:12,442 --> 00:14:14,860
Have a seat.
This is an intervention.
342
00:14:14,944 --> 00:14:16,696
- (gasps)
- (toilet flushes)
343
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:19,791
I missed the big reveal?
You said I had time.
344
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:21,534
Midge, go out and come back in.
345
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:24,128
Aw, nah, forget that.
Who's that even for?
346
00:14:24,212 --> 00:14:27,056
All right, all right,
intervention. And, uh, go.
347
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:29,192
If this is about
the melatonin gummies,
348
00:14:29,276 --> 00:14:31,360
I can stop whenever I want.
349
00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:32,862
No, Marge.
We're interventioning
350
00:14:32,946 --> 00:14:34,621
you and your whole deal.
351
00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:36,474
I never thought
I'd speak ill of TV,
352
00:14:36,558 --> 00:14:38,977
but I think it's destroying you.
353
00:14:39,061 --> 00:14:40,294
(grumbles)
354
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:41,980
PATTY and SELMA:
Mm-hmm.
355
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,923
Cut to commercial.
356
00:14:46,735 --> 00:14:50,396
Okay, let's make this quick.
Everybody say your little thing.
357
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,473
We're just
worried about you, Marge.
358
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:55,551
Look, even your best friend
Luann is here.
359
00:14:55,635 --> 00:14:56,995
Best friend?
360
00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:58,997
We haven't
had the conversation yet,
361
00:14:59,081 --> 00:15:00,761
but it's unspoken.
362
00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:03,226
Mom, we want to be supportive
of your dreams,
363
00:15:03,310 --> 00:15:05,925
but you just don't
seem to be enjoying it anymore.
364
00:15:06,010 --> 00:15:08,261
Oh, I'm sorry.
365
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,900
Sorry that
you're all so threatened
366
00:15:10,984 --> 00:15:12,918
by a powerful, successful woman.
367
00:15:13,002 --> 00:15:16,497
Lisa, as a feminist, you should
be ashamed of yourself.
368
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:19,091
Really?
Just this week the show's done
369
00:15:19,175 --> 00:15:21,577
"sext your way
out of traffic school"
370
00:15:21,661 --> 00:15:25,339
and debuted a new daily segment
called "trends in cleavage."
371
00:15:25,423 --> 00:15:28,693
- When's this show on again?
- (phone dings)
372
00:15:28,777 --> 00:15:29,859
MARGE: Mm?
373
00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:35,591
The Internet's on fire
about our story
374
00:15:35,675 --> 00:15:38,352
exposing the toxic
work environment at Krusty.
375
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:41,039
- Inexcusable.
- I heard they made all the interns
376
00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:43,282
convert to Judaism
and work on Christmas,
377
00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:45,376
then convert back
and work on Passover.
378
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:47,528
- (all gasp)
- Mm-hmm.
379
00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:49,380
(gasps)
This is a disaster.
380
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:52,366
We can finish
this dumb thing later.
381
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:55,720
Hmm. So, um,
what's the move here?
382
00:15:55,804 --> 00:15:57,797
Well, is there anything else
we can work on?
383
00:15:57,881 --> 00:15:58,931
Hey Homer, how's the drinking?
384
00:15:59,015 --> 00:16:00,449
Same.
385
00:16:00,533 --> 00:16:02,642
- (indistinct chatter)
- (whimpering)
386
00:16:08,003 --> 00:16:09,550
What the hell is this?
387
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:12,628
For the first time in my life,
I'm not responsible
388
00:16:12,712 --> 00:16:16,148
for a toxic work environment.
I'm barely ever here.
389
00:16:16,232 --> 00:16:17,967
Physically,
and certainly not mentally.
390
00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:19,637
Don't worry, Krusty.
391
00:16:19,722 --> 00:16:22,138
I'm going to find whoever said
it's terrible to work here
392
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:25,416
and personally bully them until
their hair falls out in clumps.
393
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:28,661
But what you need now
is a redemption episode.
394
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:31,255
And I know I speak
for the entire staff when I say
395
00:16:31,339 --> 00:16:34,092
we're willing to pull an
all-nighter to make it happen.
396
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:36,427
(sobbing)
397
00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:38,096
Aah!
398
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:40,598
Yeah, and you'll write me
one of those apologies
399
00:16:40,682 --> 00:16:42,491
where it sounds like I'm sorry
but I'm not actually
400
00:16:42,575 --> 00:16:44,660
taking the blame for anything?
401
00:16:44,744 --> 00:16:46,846
I've done hundreds of these.
It's actually a template
402
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:48,605
in the software we use.
403
00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:51,442
Uh, what else?
404
00:16:51,526 --> 00:16:54,003
Bart, you got to be addicted
to something by now.
405
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:55,521
None of your business.
406
00:16:55,605 --> 00:16:57,340
Fair enough.
407
00:16:57,424 --> 00:16:59,175
(distorted):
♪ Shawty had them ♪
408
00:16:59,259 --> 00:17:02,194
- ♪ Apple Bottom jeans ♪
- ♪ Jeans ♪
409
00:17:02,278 --> 00:17:04,956
♪ Boots with the fur ♪
410
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,199
♪ With the fur. ♪
411
00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:09,518
I was devastated
to learn that our show
412
00:17:09,602 --> 00:17:12,296
has become
a toxic work environment.
413
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:14,799
Well, even though
I knew absolutely nothing
414
00:17:14,883 --> 00:17:18,469
about what was going on,
the buck stops with me.
415
00:17:18,553 --> 00:17:22,198
And I promise you, I'm going
to take some time to listen,
416
00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:26,403
learn, not touch, and listen.
417
00:17:27,954 --> 00:17:30,222
What the hell is this?!
418
00:17:30,306 --> 00:17:32,208
How am I supposed
to do the salad shake
419
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:34,727
if it's not
in its original container?
420
00:17:34,811 --> 00:17:36,154
- (grunts)
- Aah!
421
00:17:36,238 --> 00:17:38,489
(whimpering)
422
00:17:38,573 --> 00:17:40,324
Oh, my God.
423
00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:42,575
What have I become?
424
00:17:48,491 --> 00:17:51,560
I was completely unaware
of the following policies:
425
00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:53,171
If employees see me in my car,
426
00:17:53,255 --> 00:17:55,247
they must lower
imaginary sunglasses
427
00:17:55,331 --> 00:17:57,416
as if impressed and aroused.
428
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,568
Krusty, you don't
need to do this.
429
00:17:59,652 --> 00:18:01,587
- The world needs to know the truth.
- (phone rings)
430
00:18:01,671 --> 00:18:04,498
It's the system of daytime TV
that's toxic.
431
00:18:04,582 --> 00:18:06,517
It's turned us all into monsters
432
00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:08,260
fueled by stress, gas lighting,
433
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,855
and $15 kale Caesar salads.
434
00:18:10,939 --> 00:18:13,340
The pressure to crank out
so much nice
435
00:18:13,424 --> 00:18:15,584
brings out the worst in us.
436
00:18:15,668 --> 00:18:18,771
We just wanted to bring
more nice in the world.
437
00:18:18,855 --> 00:18:20,865
More nice.
438
00:18:20,949 --> 00:18:22,925
Okay, new speech.
439
00:18:23,009 --> 00:18:24,260
This non-apology apology
440
00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:26,853
just became a real apology.
441
00:18:26,937 --> 00:18:28,021
This place isn't toxic
442
00:18:28,105 --> 00:18:30,565
because of whoever this lady is
443
00:18:30,649 --> 00:18:32,543
or "the system."
444
00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:35,120
- It's toxic because of me.
- (audience gasps)
445
00:18:35,204 --> 00:18:37,122
I'm a showbiz monster.
446
00:18:37,206 --> 00:18:39,032
I'm not nice.
447
00:18:39,116 --> 00:18:41,034
So I'm stepping away
from the show...
448
00:18:41,118 --> 00:18:42,720
forever.
449
00:18:42,804 --> 00:18:44,113
- (gasps)
- Wha?
450
00:18:44,197 --> 00:18:46,999
Krusty. Krusty,
you don't have to do this.
451
00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:48,467
It's not your fault.
452
00:18:48,551 --> 00:18:50,561
Look, lady, I couldn't
agree with you more.
453
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:53,397
Everyone who works here
except me is nuts.
454
00:18:53,481 --> 00:18:56,400
I just quit because I closed
the deal for a new gig
455
00:18:56,484 --> 00:18:58,552
which makes
daytime talk show money
456
00:18:58,636 --> 00:19:00,887
look like late night
talk show money.
457
00:19:00,971 --> 00:19:03,074
TV judge syndication money.
458
00:19:03,158 --> 00:19:04,467
A judge?
459
00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:08,061
Judge Judy is the richest
TV star in the world.
460
00:19:08,145 --> 00:19:10,081
So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty.
461
00:19:10,165 --> 00:19:13,066
I can let my body go,
just sit on my keister
462
00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,402
and speak truth
to stupid all day.
463
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:18,923
All right, I got to go
work on my humiliation quips.
464
00:19:19,007 --> 00:19:20,758
You ever do any bailiffing?
465
00:19:20,842 --> 00:19:21,759
Some.
466
00:19:21,843 --> 00:19:23,593
No more show?
467
00:19:25,162 --> 00:19:27,638
I'm... I'm free.
468
00:19:29,092 --> 00:19:31,010
Oh come on,
why would you do that?
469
00:19:31,094 --> 00:19:33,436
Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry.
470
00:19:34,581 --> 00:19:35,922
KRUSTY:
Oh, come on.
471
00:19:36,006 --> 00:19:37,166
Don't sneeze on my robe
472
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:39,184
and tell me I'm in a car wash.
473
00:19:39,268 --> 00:19:41,186
Did you fall out
of the stupid tree
474
00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:43,096
and land in the idiot mulch?
475
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,931
His quips could use some work.
476
00:19:45,015 --> 00:19:46,525
(laughs)
Mulch.
477
00:19:46,609 --> 00:19:48,935
Do you ever miss
working in TV, Mom?
478
00:19:49,019 --> 00:19:52,181
There was at least a week there
where you seemed to enjoy it.
479
00:19:52,265 --> 00:19:54,608
Sure, it was
rewarding at first.
480
00:19:54,692 --> 00:19:56,794
But this experience
has made me realize
481
00:19:56,878 --> 00:20:01,023
my real dream job
is producing this family.
482
00:20:01,107 --> 00:20:02,449
And now, as a consultant,
483
00:20:02,533 --> 00:20:05,027
I get the best of both worlds.
484
00:20:05,111 --> 00:20:06,453
(phone rings)
485
00:20:06,537 --> 00:20:08,380
Marge, it's Drew.
I need your help.
486
00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:10,883
I got no A block for tomorrow.
487
00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:12,493
Let me see...
488
00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:14,312
Have you seen the viral grandpa?
489
00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:16,539
The one who raises baby ducks?
490
00:20:16,623 --> 00:20:20,392
Yes, I'm thinking
surprise spa day for him.
491
00:20:20,476 --> 00:20:22,820
And an extreme pond makeover
for the ducks.
492
00:20:22,904 --> 00:20:26,231
Oh, Marge, are you sure
you won't come work for me?
493
00:20:26,315 --> 00:20:27,974
That's very sweet, Drew,
494
00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:30,328
but my daytime days are over.
495
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:32,328
- (kids grunting, coughing)
- (sobbing)
496
00:20:33,081 --> 00:20:35,164
Oh...
497
00:20:36,309 --> 00:20:37,651
I'll be in touch.
498
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,895
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
499
00:20:39,979 --> 00:20:41,839
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
500
00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:43,582
and TOYOTA.
501
00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:45,858
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
502
00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:51,182
Here at Segments, we believe
503
00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:54,167
there is life after daytime.
504
00:20:54,251 --> 00:20:56,520
Our patients have suffered
indescribable trauma
505
00:20:56,604 --> 00:20:59,765
from TV hosts
perpetuating the cycle of abuse
506
00:20:59,849 --> 00:21:01,341
handed down since the days
507
00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:03,586
of The Mike Douglas Show.
508
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:06,255
We treat all aspects of PTSD...
509
00:21:06,339 --> 00:21:08,181
Post talk show disorder...
510
00:21:08,265 --> 00:21:09,516
Compulsive fake laughter,
511
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,760
guest cancellation
night terrors,
512
00:21:11,844 --> 00:21:13,278
long haul Kelly Rip as...
513
00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:15,539
Lindsey, who are you talking to?
514
00:21:15,623 --> 00:21:16,782
The audience.
515
00:21:16,866 --> 00:21:18,267
I'm warming up the audience.
516
00:21:18,351 --> 00:21:20,168
It's all on the teleprompter!
517
00:21:21,037 --> 00:21:22,362
Why don't you just put this on
518
00:21:22,446 --> 00:21:23,956
for a "who wore it best"
segment?
519
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,841
Mm! (Chuckles)
520
00:21:30,713 --> 00:21:32,263
Shh!
37966
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