Original subtitles

"The Skull Boy Show."

With special guest, Doom Kitty.

Doom Kitty, I'm sure many

viewers out there are wanting to

ask you this very important

question: doesn't it drive you

crazy when people don't

understand what you're trying to

say?

Doom says, "Can you give my

chair a push, please?"

Fascinating.

[Chair squeaking]

Ah!

On the afternoon of March 7th,

after a long and, by all

accounts, restful nap, you

coughed up a fur ball.

Was this a sign of your inner

turmoil over the recent loss of

your favourite rubber ball?

Perhaps you have another

question which doesn't involve

fur balls?

Okay, yes.

The final question.

Doom Kitty, what would you say

is the secret to your success?

[Chair squeaking]

"Never stop rocking.

Oh, and good friends."

Thanks, Doom.

Same here.

Wise advice.

And that's all the time we have

for today.

Join me next week, when my guest

is noted Gloomsville wing nut,

Cashew Crow.

[Organ music playing]

And we're out.

That was fun, Skull Boy.

Thanks a lot, guys.

See you.

Now to try a little of Doom's

philosophy.

[Chair squeaking]

[Laughing]

Whee!

Whoa!

Hey, how do you stop this thing?

Hello?

Guys?

Doom, how does this thing work?

♪

♪ So today we're gonna

♪ Take the time to show you

♪ The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ♪

♪ Only think you oughta

♪ No, you really gotta

♪ See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ♪

♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

♪

♪ We're gonna show you why

♪ There's more than

meets the eye ♪

♪ The br-br-bright side

of the dark side ♪

♪ Only think you oughta

♪ No, you really gotta

♪ See the br-br-bright side

of the dark side ♪

♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom

SKULL BOY: Ladies and

gentlemen!

Tonight, you will witness a

daring feat of spectacular

stupefication.

The Great Gilbert, a flea of no

small renown and star of the

Gloomsville travelling flea

circus, will jump from trapeze

to trapeze for the very first

time.

Ready?

One, two, go.

That's it.

VOICE: No!

That's not it.

[Ghastly screaming and sobbing]

[Shouting indistinctly]

Yes, I know it's not your fault.

I'll see what that noise is

about.

[Screaming and sobs continuous]

VOICE: No!

Cool.

Yikes.

Uh-oh.

It's all over!

Venus, what's wrong?

VENUS: My voice, my voice!

I cannot find my voice!

I know where it is, Venus.

Where, where?

Coming out of your mouth.

No, no, no, no.

My writing voice.

Although good guess.

The deadline for the screenplay

writing contest is in two days,

and I haven't written a word.

It's okay, Venus.

I'm sure we can help you find

your writing voice.

Right, guys?

Yeah.

Right.

Oops.

Sorry.

At least you still have the

paper.

Exactly, Misery.

Now we just have to inspire

Venus to write a great

screenplay.

Wow.

Venus, a real writer.

Seems like only yesterday you

got your speaking voice.

Listen carefully, Venus.

This record will teach you to

speak perfect English, okay?

I won't be long.

[Whistling]

Hi yo Squig, away!

MAN, OVER RECORD: Learning to

speak perfect English with a

perfect accent.

Lesson one...

And it was only yesterday you

developed your own distinct

personality.

It was this tall and that wide,

and it walked like this.

And it jumped like this.

[All laughing]

Yup, seems like only yesterday.

I believe that was this

morning.

[Sighing]

They sprout so fast.

Okay, enough of the

embarrassing stories, please.

Yes.

Time to write new ones, right,

Venus?

And I've got the solution.

What, what, what?

We bring in another voice to

help you find your writing

voice.

I beg your pardon?

One of us sits with you while

you write.

BOTH: That's a great idea,

Ruby.

[Laughing]

BOTH: Oh, oh, oh!

Okay, you guys go first.

All right!

Yeah!

Killer.

First you better tell us what

you have so far.

Yeah, lead the way, oh

plantiful one.

[Laughing]

Good one, Frank.

What'd I say?

[Clearing throat]

VENUS: It's a gushy romance

starring a girl named Ella.

Hi.

Who is the most fabulous girl

in the universe.

Aw.

FRANK: Who loves to rock.

[Rock music playing]

VENUS: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Guys, guys, guys!

[Clearing throat]

The idea, I must tell it to you

first, sillies.

It's the night of the big prom,

and poor Ella, she is locked up

like a prisoner in her own home.

Forbidden to go by her mean

step-sisters, Edgarina and

Allana.

Then, poof.

It's her fairy godmother in the

very flesh.

Ow.

She wants Ella to go to the

dance, but not looking like

that.

So she needed more poof.

Ella becomes a beautiful

princess.

Cool.

Thanks, godmother.

Fairy godmother.

Oh.

VENUS: Ahem!

Oh!

Sorry.

Whoops.

VENUS: Her luxury coach and

driver await her.

But before she goes, her fairy

godmother warns her.

Be back by midnight, or else.

Okay, let's go.

I think I'd better get my

eyes checked.

Ah!

[Body thudding]

Ow.

[Playing jazzy music]

VENUS: Everybody's there,

especially the boy currently

known as Prince.

And when Ella comes in, he goes

goo-goo eyed.

Wow.

But, oh, look at the time.

CUCKOO: Five to.

Five to.

Five to.

VENUS: It's almost midnight.

But I just got here.

[Venus sighing]

Very well.

You may have a short visit, but

make it snappy.

Okay.

Ella vamooses, but one of her

glass slippers, it does not

vamoose.

But the prince picks it up.

Uh, now what?

The next day, without rest or

a shower or even a change of

clothing.

Hey.

Oh, well, maybe a little

freshening up.

[Skull Boy screaming]

[Crashing]

He goes in search of the girl

who fits the slipper.

Will he find her?

I don't know.

Will she find him?

Beats me.

Will the fairy godmother poof

again?

Great.

Oh, it's all so romantic.

So, what do you think?

Be honest, I can take it.

Yeah, despite its own little

twists and turns, and a stellar

cast, it's sort of been done.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I see.

Interesting.

Will you excuse me, please?

BOTH: Of course.

[Humming]

No!

[Chandelier tinkling]

That's it, that's it.

That's not it.

[Shouting indistinctly]

VENUS: Please leave me be.

I need to be alone.

Hey, Venus, it's okay.

Your story just needs a little

juicing, that's all.

And that's where we come in.

Okay, imagine this: Ella's

moping around.

I mean, mopping around.

Oh.

When all of a sudden her

fairy godmother shows up.

Only, her fairy godmother turns

out to be Oglug of the planet

Immoculus.

[Sighing]

LEN: Yeah, and she can only

speak in her native tongue of

Immoculish.

[Speaking gibberish]

Sorry.

Maybe if you clear your throat?

Okay.

[Clearing throat]

[Speaking gibberish]

Oh, much better.

FRANK: And, instead of glass

slippers, she gives Ella, uh...

She gives Ella, uh...

That's it.

Killer.

FRANK: A pair of cool, new

Immoculean wow-wow boots.

Okay.

LEN: Ella puts them on and,

yeah!

[Ruby screaming]

She falls around and just barely

misses...

Uh...

FRANK: The handsome

superheroes Frank Man and Len

Boy.

Ah!

FRANK: Who are out on their

rounds, keeping the universe

safe for all human, vegetable

and mineral kind.

VENUS: What?

Timeout.

Superheroes?

Fairy godmother from outer

space?

Rocket-powered footwear?

This is all science fiction.

Exactly.

But where is the love, the

romance, the smoochy-smoochy?

No offence, guys.

I just don't think your story

works for me.

[Both sighing]

Oh, but don't get me wrong.

Frank Man and Len Boy do have a

certain something.

Stop the presses.

I've got the perfect idea for

you, Venus.

Yes, yes?

Picture this.

Friday night at the Gloomsville

Cabaret.

The joint, as it were, is

jumping, so to speak.

Swinging [so on and so forth] to

the sounds of the Doom Kitty 5,

minus three, plus one.

[Band playing upbeat jazz music]

When all of a sudden from the

heavens descends a fellow of

impeccable fellowosity.

Major General Poe.

And once he touches down, the

story really sets sail.

♪ I am a major general

♪ I have the hat and boot

to prove ♪

♪ I rhyme in time

and time my rhyme ♪

♪ In order to amuse

♪ Or use

I...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sorry, but "use"?

Poetic license?

[Chuckling]

Just got it renewed last month.

Poe, I love it, except for

two itsy-bitsy things:

The singing and the rest of it.

I can work with that.

[Chiming]

Oh, no!

Time is running out!

Time is running out!

You might want to step back.

No!

VENUS: No!

[Chandelier tinkling]

Frank and Len here, Venus.

We got fresh water for you.

With the sugar cube inside.

Go away.

Venus, it is I, Poe, with a

bucket of Gloomsville

scrumpdelicious fertilizer.

[Venus sniffing]

I'm not hungry.

Hey, Venus, look who's here.

Skull Boy.

I'm sure he's got lots of great

ideas to help you.

Hey, Venus.

I'd love to help.

Really?

Sure, what do you have so

far?

Well, okay, it's a gushy

romance about a girl named Ella.

Hi.

Who loved to rock!

[Rock music playing]

Yeah!

VENUS: Her ugly step-sisters

lock her in the prison.

MISERY: And who saves her?

VENUS: Her godmother.

MISERY: Excuse me?

VENUS: Her fairy godmother.

The one with the bucket on

her head.

VENUS: And the kooky accent.

[Speaking gibberish]

FRANK: What?

LEN: It's Immoculish.

Then the major general sings.

♪ I am a major general

♪ I have a hat and boot

And Ella gets her

rocket-powered wow-wow boots.

[Screaming]

Duty calls for Frank Man...

And Len Boy.

Ah!

[Speaking gibberish]

[All screaming]

The ship is aflame!

My feet are hot.

It is a disaster!

[Sobbing]

Hanky?

It's not so bad, Venus.

Your story just needs some good

old-fashioned grounding.

Here's the setup, sweetheart.

That's me over there.

I go by the welcome mat of Skull

Spade.

It was Tuesday, and I was in a

real pickle.

Sure, I'd been down for the

count and up to my ears and over

a barrel before, but never like

this.

I needed to find that doll face,

and quick.

And all I had to go on was this

glass slipper.

Like that's easy.

I had to find the foot that fit

the slipper, and the girl that

owned the foot, before I found

that I couldn't live without

finding the foot belonging to

the girl with the foot that fit

the slipper.

But first I had to figure out

what I just said.

Okay, I love your dark and

shadowy style, Skull Boy.

But my story needs light and

colour.

That's what I'm talking about.

Too bright.

I'm out of here.

Gilbert, get ready for the

aerial loop in five...

Wait, maybe we can work

something out.

What do you think?

Oh, no!

The contest deadline is

tomorrow.

What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

Oh, what am I--?

Hey, Venus.

Ruby?

But where am I?

You're now in my version of

your story.

Huh?

I say.

Freaky.

Cool.

It's a little different, and

goes something like this.

It's a beautiful, gloomy day.

What a beautiful, gloomy day.

And Venus, you feel great

about your story.

I feel great about my story.

You slip a piece of paper in

the typewriter.

Hold it!

Perhaps I should step out of the

room for this part.

Thanks, Misery.

I think I'll just slip this

piece of paper in the

typewriter.

And you start writing.

Fade in.

Interior.

Jungle.

Day.

[Laughing]

♪

And they lived happily ever

after.

The end.

[Clearing throat]

No!

RUBY: Venus.

[Laughing]

Surprise.

I'd just like to announce that

I've finished my screenplay, and

it is amazing.

And that's my version.

You relax, have fun and write.

What do you think?

I love it.

Okay, scoot so I can relax, have

fun and write.

[Cracking knuckles]

Now, how does that start again?

It's a beautiful gloomy day.

Way to go, Ruby.

You helped Venus find her voice.

RUBY: Yeah, but if it wasn't

for you, Iris, she wouldn't even

have a voice.

Wow, that seedling's really

typing up a storm in there.

[Laughing]

Yeah, good old Venus.

Always has to do everything

fast.

I wonder where she gets that

from.

Well, who's in the mood for a

bungee jump?

Whoa!

[Crashing]

Uh, I'm good.

SKULL BOY: Cut!

VENUS: What?

No!

More emotion, please!

[Sighing]

More emotion.

And action!

Hey, Venus, what's going on?

It's so exciting.

Skull Boy is directing my

screenplay, a romantic comedy:

Sleeveless in Gloomsville.

Oh, my little seedling's

really sprouted.

Mr. Director, they need to be

smouldering with passion.

Okay, can you be more, uh,

smouldering with passion,

Gilbert?

[Grumbling]

Yes, yes.

[Gasping]

Yes, yes!

The aerial hoop loop-de-loop.

You did it.

Way to go, Gilbert.

See?

There is a method to my madness

after all, yes?

Yes.

Moving on to the love scene

between our two big stars.

Now in this scene, you are

smouldering with passion.

Feel it.

I want you to feel it.

Ready?

Action.

Oh, very nice.

Very nice.

Ha!

That boy's got talent.

IRIS: Whee!

Tip number one: When flying your

Squig, always wear safety

goggles, because you never know

what you'll face in the air.

[Gasping]

Like a whipped cream mountain.

Mmm.

Tip number two: Always point

your Squig in the right

direction.

Whoo-hoo!

Uh-oh.

This is the wrong direction!

Ah!

And finally, tip number three:

Never, but never jump off a

moving Squig unless you want to

have even more fun.

Whee!

Oh!

And you already worked it out

with your Squig.

Hi yo Squig, away!

♪

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