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1
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:20,986
Hmm.
2
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:26,859
[speaking japanese]
3
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,128
Clara: I never thought
it could happen to me,
4
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,496
But it did.
5
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:33,565
Now usually, I don't listen
to women, or my doctor,
6
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:36,402
But tonight, clara's story
was giving me a special feeling
7
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,404
In my lumpy,
lumpy testicle.
8
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,673
So there I was
in the hot tub
9
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,609
With a real live
black girl,
10
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,078
When suddenly,
she grabbed me
11
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:49,515
And forced
my soaking wet body
up against hers.
12
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,283
I shuddered with desire
13
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:54,787
As my eager young body
melted into hers.
14
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,122
Our excitement
steadily built
15
00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:02,161
As her every touch
lit up my skin with
a passionate fire.
16
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:05,230
My body shook with
tremors of lust
17
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,666
And dripped with
anticipation.
18
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,901
Hunger for her--
19
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,736
Damn it! Clara's
pissing me off
20
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,871
More than fat-free
sour cream!
21
00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:15,507
That little whore
won't shut up about
that stupid kiss!
22
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:16,809
Who cares, right?!
23
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,410
Uh-huh--
hey!
24
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,412
Stop listening
to that crappy
hip-hop music!
25
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,613
I'm talking to you!
26
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,816
Hip-hop? Girl,
this is a book on tape.
27
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,384
Clara's story:
28
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,353
How I kissed a black girl,
29
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,688
As read by droopy dog.
30
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:33,859
Droopy: ...As her buttery,
maple pelvis gyrated...
31
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,628
Uhhhhhh!
32
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,297
Someone had to do something
33
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,833
To knock that
clueless bitch down a peg!
34
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,202
Pregnant?
I'm not pregnant.
35
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,070
That's crazy, toot.
36
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,705
You kissed foxxy,
didn't you?
37
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:48,607
What happens
in fairy tales
38
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,410
After the princess
has her first kiss, hmm?
39
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:53,512
She runs away with
a sexy one-eyed pirate
40
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,547
Who loves as fiercely
as he lives.
41
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,483
Not that fairy tale,
toot-for-brains!
42
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:58,517
The other one!
43
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,319
Well, let's see.
44
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,589
They live happily
ever after in a castle
45
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,058
With a couple of...Kids!
46
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:09,495
Oh, my god!
I am pregnant!
47
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:12,131
[shouting in japanese]
48
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,802
I couldn't sleep a wink
the entire night.
49
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,039
I mean, father would
never allow me to birth
a black woman's child.
50
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,741
I had to ask my dear friend
toot for help.
51
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:25,077
So, you're sure
this will work?
52
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,078
Yeah, sure.
53
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,579
Oh, thank you, toot.
54
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,148
I knew I could--aah!
55
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,085
Uhh! Ow! Ow!
Oh! Oh! Uhh!
56
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,588
Well done.
57
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,790
[sniffs]
58
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,225
Darn! You still
smell pregnant.
59
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,061
We better try again
and again and again.
60
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,197
Oh! You know what room
would be perfect
for this?
61
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,366
Both: the m.C. Escher room!
62
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,768
Uhh!
63
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,537
Whoa! Aah!
64
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,972
Uhh! Aah! Ouch!
65
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,275
Aah! Aah!
66
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,476
Uhh!
67
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,544
Uh, clara,
68
00:02:58,545 --> 00:02:59,845
Why you let
marshmallow
69
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,380
Knock you down
the stairs again?
70
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,682
Oh, foxxy, hey.
71
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,952
I'm sorry you have
to find out this way,
72
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:10,856
But, foxxy, i'm pregnant
with your love child.
73
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:14,893
Oh, if I had a child
for every time I said
that...And I don't.
74
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:16,695
Thank you,
roe v. Wade.
75
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,864
Apparently,
toot told clara
76
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,033
Our kiss got her
all knocked up.
77
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,235
Poor pitiful-ass clara.
78
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,437
So incredibly gullible,
79
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:27,773
She'll believe
anything you tell her.
80
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,308
Hmm.
81
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:33,078
He died on the cross
for our sins,
you say?
82
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,947
Yeah,
I can see that.
83
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,350
And then I found out
the princess doesn't know
a damn thing about sex.
84
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,019
Can you imagine?
85
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,821
I mean, how does she get
guys to pay her rent?
86
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,690
Now gather 'round,
everybody.
87
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,592
Class is in session.
88
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,360
And if you ain't careful,
89
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,828
You just might
learn something.
90
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:53,966
Now, men and women
is very different.
91
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:58,203
You see, men are born
with a special pee-pee.
92
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,471
All: ooh! Wow!
93
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,740
Pee-pee rhymes with t.P.,
94
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,243
Which is what you use
to wipe your ass.
95
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,579
And women are born
with a vagina...
96
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,149
That I like to call
a giggy.
97
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,684
All: oh! Wow!
98
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,286
Giggy rhymes with puppet...
99
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,155
But not very well.
100
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:19,191
Now, when a man a women
love each other very much,
101
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,160
They do a special hug,
102
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,596
Which can feel real nice
103
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,799
Depending on the size
of a man's hands
104
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,501
Consensually wrapped
around your neck.
105
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,036
During the special hug,
106
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:35,074
The man places his pee-pee
inside the woman's giggy.
107
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,775
Wait. Uhh...Not there.
108
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:40,446
Ok. A little to--
let me do it.
109
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,014
Ahh.
110
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:46,585
And that's how two people
who love each other
very, very much
111
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,955
Make a welfare check--
I mean, baby.
112
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,523
Thanks for
helping out, y'all.
113
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:52,991
Anytime.
114
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,393
Well, i'm off
to the track.
115
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,829
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Go to your whore!
116
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,731
At least
she listens!
117
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,100
So you see, clara,
118
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,168
You can't get pregnant
from a kiss.
119
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,404
But--but...
120
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:06,939
Oh, no!
121
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,041
[crying]
122
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,643
Well, what's wrong now?
123
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,645
You should be happy.
You ain't pregnant.
124
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,947
[crying]
125
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:19,251
No man will ever want
to put his pee-pee
in my giggy.
126
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:22,054
Sure, they will.
127
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,090
In fact, when you meet
the right guy,
128
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:27,526
He'll want to put
lots of things down there.
129
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,862
No. No, he won't.
130
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:33,532
My giggy is a horrible,
horrible place.
131
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,168
My father used to
tell me that, too,
132
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,736
But it is not true.
133
00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:40,139
Your giggy is
a beautiful place.
134
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,173
Really?
135
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,875
Is this beautiful?
136
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,144
Aah!
137
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,445
[roar]
138
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:47,780
Aah!
139
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,849
Aah!
[roar]
140
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,018
Hey, what's all
the screaming about?
141
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,553
Aah!
[roar]
142
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:55,821
Aah!
[roar]
143
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,423
Aah!
[roar]
144
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:58,691
Aah!
[roar]
145
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,025
Aah!
146
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:04,697
Stop screaming!
You're scaring it!
147
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:05,931
It's ok, baby.
148
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:08,000
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
149
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,735
Who's a good boy?
150
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,570
You're a good boy.
151
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,906
It doesn't like
loud noises.
152
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,880
You're probably wondering
about my...
153
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,350
Octopussoir.
154
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,551
It's french.
155
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,487
I never shared my story
with anyone before.
156
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,924
It's all so--so...
Personal.
157
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,959
I told the girls
the only way
I could get it out
158
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,661
Was through
interpretive dance.
159
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,363
[sighs]
160
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:41,133
[humming]
161
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,604
[humming]
162
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,141
Really?
163
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,776
When you was
but a child,
164
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,912
Your evil stepfather
put a curse
on your vagina?
165
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,749
What? Weren't you
paying attention?
166
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,952
My evil stepmother...
167
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,955
Mother placed
a curse on me.
168
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,290
Uh, duh!
169
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:09,161
I never understood
why she did it...Until now.
170
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,731
No man will ever want to enjoy
the special hug with me.
171
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:16,235
[crying] she did it
so i'd never find
my true love.
172
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:20,272
[crying]
173
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,175
Oh, but, please,
please don't tell anybody.
174
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,843
I'm afraid
I must ask you guys
175
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:27,246
To keep my secret
with a pinky swear.
176
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,214
I'll pinky
swear.
177
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,752
Fine. I pinky swear.
178
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,054
[gravelly voice]
I pinky swear.
179
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,055
[knock on door]
180
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,156
Captain hero:
hey, clara?
181
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,557
Toot told us you have
a monster for a vagina,
182
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,359
And we want to have
a house meeting
about it.
183
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,127
How is that
even possible?
184
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,328
Oopsy-tootsie.
185
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,730
I couldn't help myself.
186
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:52,004
All: ooh!
187
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,872
[all gasp]
188
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,407
Clara: I was really nervous.
189
00:07:55,408 --> 00:08:00,145
My whole life,
I worked so hard to keep
my secret a...Secret,
190
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,815
But then everyone was
so cool about it.
191
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,919
I mean, it was like
a giant weight was
lifted off my vagina.
192
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,421
It's so beautiful,
so magnificent.
193
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,422
Can I pet it?
194
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,657
Oh, sure.
195
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,860
My octopussoir
is a kind
and gentle beast.
196
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:15,861
What the heck?!
197
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,696
They're all like,
"cool" and "neat"
198
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,532
And "ooh, what's
that smell?"
199
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,701
Uh-uh! I wasn't gonna
let that slut
200
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,370
Have something else
the guys wanted!
201
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,539
Ah.
202
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:30,342
You know, clara's
octopussoir
203
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,911
Does the cutest thing
when I do this...
204
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,947
Aah!
205
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,482
[blows air horn]
206
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,916
[growling]
207
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,419
All: aah!
208
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,654
[car alarm starts]
209
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,490
All: aah!
210
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,829
Jesus! It just
ate wooldoor!
211
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,831
Captain hero: whoa!
It just ate the cameraman!
212
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,236
Hmm. This vagina
sure could use
a woman's touch.
213
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,505
[rumbling]
214
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,207
Uh...That's a-no good.
215
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,179
Huh? Huh?
216
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,548
[sighs]
217
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,785
Everything changed when
we discovered we were
living with a monster.
218
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,020
[thunder and lightning]
219
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,793
Xandir: we lived in
a constant state of fear.
220
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,728
[door creaking]
all: huh?
221
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,499
All: whew.
222
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,935
We had to be
very, very quiet.
223
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:33,105
The tiniest of noises
could have awoken the beast.
224
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:37,309
Even I had to limit myself
to silent-but-deadlies.
225
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,410
[soft hissing]
226
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,946
[snickers]
227
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,581
Shh.
228
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,816
Toot's talking.
229
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,317
And that's the story
of the beast
230
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,053
That lived
between clara's legs.
231
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,755
Yay. Guys...
232
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,825
Listening...To me...
Toot.
233
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:56,195
Captain hero: toot made us
all realize we might not
be around much longer.
234
00:09:56,196 --> 00:10:00,599
I felt it important to start
writing down my innermost
thoughts in a journal.
235
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,101
Here's an excerpt.
236
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,870
"I don't know how much
longer I can last in here.
237
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:05,971
"papa says that
when I get out,
238
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,973
"I can have a new dress.
239
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,075
"when will I have
my first dance,
240
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,276
My first kiss?"
241
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,478
What are you doing?
242
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,646
These are my dreams!
Mine!
243
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:15,748
Shh!
244
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,851
Everybody freeze.
245
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,159
[growls]
246
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,598
[roars]
247
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,603
[weeps]
248
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:41,106
Guys, this is
no way to live.
249
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:44,276
I, for one,
refuse to just
sit around
250
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,278
Waiting to be
swallowed whole
251
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,080
By a giant
vagina!
252
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,149
Huh?
253
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,985
No, no.
Ok. No.
254
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,753
No. It's no way
to live.
255
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:57,623
The pig's right,
but what can we do?
256
00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,225
[speaking japanese]
257
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,761
Ling-ling's right,
damn it!
258
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,396
We must
kill the beast!
259
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,365
Kill the beast!
Kill the beast!
260
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,300
Misinterpret
ling-ling!
261
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,235
They all hate me, foxxy.
262
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,770
They won't even
come near me.
263
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,505
It's like
i'm some kind of freak.
264
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,140
Don't worry, clara.
265
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,343
These things have a way
of working themselves out.
266
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:21,547
Like that time everybody
found out you had a monster
vagina between your legs.
267
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,716
Clara, this is always
hard to say,
268
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,250
Especially to a friend,
269
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,186
But we're here
to kill your vagina.
270
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,787
Don't you guys dare!
271
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,757
Sorry, foxxy,
but that monster
is dead meat.
272
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:32,825
Curtains.
273
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,660
Yeah! Nice!
Ho-ho!
274
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:37,162
Poor clara was in
hell-a trouble.
275
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:40,132
So I used all of my
mystery-solving know-how
276
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,067
To create
a brilliant diversion.
277
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,268
Spanky: what the--?
278
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,303
Where's clara?
279
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,305
Toot: we're confused now.
280
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,673
Oh, ho ho!
281
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:51,377
We fell for the old
neck-sprain-well-
lit-pie diversion.
282
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,879
Brava, foxxy.
Brava.
283
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,980
[applause]
284
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,815
Spanky: that's why
she's the best.
285
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:59,852
Come on, guys!
Clara's getting away!
286
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,021
All: yeah! Ahh!
287
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,089
While clara was being
chased by the mob,
288
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,426
It was my responsibility
as a mystery-solving musician
289
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,262
To perform
a musical number. Hit it!
290
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,197
[sixties-style song
playing]
291
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:18,937
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
292
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,640
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
293
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,676
¶ in your
wizard sleeve ¶
294
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:24,843
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
295
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,780
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
296
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,481
¶ some sweet p-t ¶
297
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,117
¶ coochy coochy,
gitchy gitchy,
yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
298
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,721
¶ gotta snatch ya,
gonna catch ya yatcha
yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
299
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,189
¶ gincha ninja,
bearded clam ¶
300
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,724
¶ furry burger,
smiley sam ¶
301
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,025
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
302
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,461
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
303
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,730
¶ oh, yes, sirree ¶
304
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,366
¶ fluffy muffy,
stuffy-iffy,
yeah, yeah, yeah... ¶
305
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,734
Ah-choo!
¶ I got a fever for the ¶
306
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,703
¶ beaver weaver,
yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
307
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:52,104
¶ honey pot,
geechy pie ¶
308
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,706
¶ take it to
the wild thing ¶
309
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,040
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
310
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:58,010
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
311
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,611
¶ in your wizard
sleeve ¶
312
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,879
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
313
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,015
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
314
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,083
[song ends]
315
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,150
Hey! That
sounded great!
316
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,819
Good job!
Fantastic!
317
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,454
We were really...
318
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,823
Get in here, girl.
319
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,225
We're safe in here...
For now.
320
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,893
[pounding on door]
[gasps]
321
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,830
[shouting in japanese]
322
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,332
All: push that door!
Come on! We're gonna get it!
323
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,801
No! 3po...
324
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,736
3po!
325
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,740
[pounding on door]
326
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,174
[all yelling]
327
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,876
Foxxy: we couldn't hold that
door closed much longer.
328
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,478
Foxxy love had to
think quick.
329
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,581
All: huh?
330
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,685
There's got to be
a way to break this curse.
331
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,287
The only person
who knows how is
my evil stepmother,
332
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:43,889
And I can't ask her.
333
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,358
We're in a fight.
334
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,627
Fine. I'll call her
on my mirror.
335
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,564
Call evil step-mom.
336
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,366
Ah. Well, well, well.
337
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,602
Look who's finally
calling to apologize.
338
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,571
I'm not apologizing!
You should apologize!
339
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,440
For what? Trying
to make you happy?
340
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,876
You thought marrying my father
would make me happy?!
341
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,177
You never gave me
a chance!
342
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,446
Why should I?!
You're not my mother!
343
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,647
I never said I was!
344
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,349
Then stop pretending to be!
345
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,518
Clara,
your mother's dead!
346
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,753
[gasps]
347
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,757
The good lord
and your father's
drunken carriage driving
348
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,292
Took her away
from us,
349
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:23,595
And there is nothing
anyone can do about it.
350
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,164
I miss her.
351
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,367
I miss her so much,
it hurts.
352
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,902
I'm sorry.
353
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,204
Me, too, dear. Me, too.
354
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,073
Ok, now that we got
that cleared up,
355
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,775
I should probably
tell you how to break
that pesky little curse.
356
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,711
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
357
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:42,481
Do tell me how
to break the curse...Mom.
358
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,917
Oh, clara.
Thank you.
359
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:48,253
So I explained to clara
that she must find her
one true love.
360
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:51,657
Only after love's
first kiss will love
take its true form.
361
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,859
That's it!
Come on, girl.
362
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,962
Let's break that curse
and find your prince charming.
363
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,264
But...How?
364
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,867
Spanky:
for the past eleventy weeks,
365
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,169
13 of the world's
most eligible bachelors
366
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:07,840
Have vied for the heart
of princess clara.
367
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,275
Hello, boys.
368
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,744
Hi. Nice to meet you.
What's shakin' baby?
369
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,479
How you doing?
I like the belt.
370
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,515
Spanky:
some experienced romance...
371
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,453
Spanky: while others
experience rejection.
372
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,689
You wanted to see
a broken heart?
373
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,923
Well, here you go!
374
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,693
Why doesn't
she love me?
375
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,294
I'm so sad!
376
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,295
Me, too!
377
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,367
Make me feel good.
378
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,769
[weeps]
379
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,138
Make me feel good.
380
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,306
Spanky: and of course,
there were dirty dishes.
381
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,008
[horn honks]
[yelling
in japanese]
382
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:46,612
Gentlemen,
welcome to tonight's
elimination ceremony.
383
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,047
If you receive a rose,
384
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:50,849
Step forward and kiss
princess clara...
385
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,718
On the octopussoir.
386
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,787
If your kiss
breaks the curse,
387
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,790
Then you are indeed
clara's prince charming.
388
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,458
Now I choose.
389
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,233
[tap tap tap]
390
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,171
Bob, please step forward.
391
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,110
[all laugh]
392
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,545
Oh, bob.
393
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,481
[chuckles]
i'm the funny one.
394
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,249
Will you accept this rose?
395
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,926
Clara: so I handed out
each rose,
396
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:36,061
And the result
was always the same.
397
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,464
[vomiting]
398
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,405
[vomiting]
399
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,842
Clara, gentlemen,
400
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,610
There's only
one rose left.
401
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:55,981
Um, you, kind sir.
What is your name?
402
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:59,251
[spanish accent]
I am prince charming
from charmingham.
403
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:02,454
I am here to find
my princess.
404
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,590
[sighs]
405
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,060
Prince charming,
would you accept this rose?
406
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,428
No, I shall not.
407
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,263
[all gasp]
408
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,197
[gasps]
409
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:15,901
Prince charming,
410
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,970
Would you
accept this rose?
411
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:19,238
No, I shall not...
412
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,876
Because this rose
is for you.
413
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,911
[sighs]
414
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,080
All: ahh!
415
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,783
Now that is
textbook charming, huh?
416
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,585
[smooches]
417
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,920
Ooh!
418
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,690
Oh, yes! Yes!
419
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,702
Wow.
420
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,704
That was beautiful.
421
00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:53,839
That was magical.
That was...
422
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,476
True love?
Again, so charming.
423
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,045
What the--?
424
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,181
I thought the kiss
would fix everything.
425
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,382
Aah! Aah!
426
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,683
Princess clara...
427
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,285
What is happening to me?!
428
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,886
Ohh! Aah! Ohh! Aah!
429
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:08,887
[roars]
430
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,723
Ohh! Aah! Aah!
431
00:18:10,724 --> 00:18:11,890
Don't you see?
432
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,859
This is love's true form.
433
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,561
We're meant
for each other,
434
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,062
And only each other.
435
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:20,299
Look, our genitalia are
totally hitting it off.
436
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,934
Both: ¶ bo bo,
scee rotten totten ¶
437
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,569
¶ ha ha ha ha,
bo bo bo bo ¶
438
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,570
¶ bo bo
scee rotten totten ¶
439
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,571
¶ ha ha ha ha ¶
440
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:26,905
¶ bum bum bum ¶
441
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,108
Freeze!
442
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,776
Uh-uh, you lose.
443
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,277
I know.
444
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,346
[both laughing]
445
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:38,584
You know, I never believed
a monster like me
446
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,586
Could be with a monster
like that.
447
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,588
[snorts] I mean, look at me.
448
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,624
I'm a mess.
Arr-harr-harr-harr!
449
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,261
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
450
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,063
This was not part
of the deal!
451
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,831
Look at my penis!
452
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:56,201
What happened to
my [bleep]damn penis?!
453
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,770
I can not live
like this.
454
00:18:57,771 --> 00:19:00,039
This is not charming.
455
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,441
What you mean?
456
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:03,442
Not on the new rug!
457
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,077
[gunshot]
ohh!
Oh, no!
458
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,011
Oh, god.
459
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,782
I just wanted
to make sure
this thing worked
460
00:19:09,783 --> 00:19:12,751
Before I blow my
charming brains out.
461
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,154
Prince charming,
clara,
462
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,456
There's only
one bullet left.
463
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,765
[roaring]
464
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,437
Clara,
other roommates,
465
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:34,340
There's only
one monster left.
466
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,774
Spanky is right.
467
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,110
How many more people
have to die?
468
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:39,778
We must kill the beast!
469
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,280
Kill the beast!
Kill the beast!
470
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,449
[shouting in japanese]
471
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,950
[all shouting
at once]
472
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,385
Hey, whoa, wait!
473
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,553
Check it out.
474
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,055
Look at what
your octopussoir
is doing.
475
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:54,360
Oh, it's just writing a check
to a worthwhile charity.
476
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,527
It does that every month.
477
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,730
Eh, likely story.
Kill the beast!
478
00:19:57,731 --> 00:20:00,632
But wait!
What's it doing now?
479
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:04,069
Why, it's helping
old miss baker
with her groceries.
480
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,671
Is it Monday already?
481
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,606
You think we were
born yesterday?
482
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:08,674
Kill the beast!
483
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,844
[speaking japanese]
484
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,847
That's amazing.
485
00:20:14,848 --> 00:20:17,249
How could we have
been so blind?
486
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,419
And to think we wanted
to kill the octopussoir.
487
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,822
Clara,
we're so sorry.
488
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,925
So, you guys
don't hate my vagina?
489
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,028
Oh-ho,
of course not!
490
00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:31,263
No. We were
just scared of it
491
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,598
Because it was different
492
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,633
And we didn't know
the real it.
493
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,769
Oh, yeah.
Just like the time
494
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:39,104
That we were all scared
of your monster vagina.
495
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,539
What I tell you?
496
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:43,275
You know, it's just
like my grandfather
used to tell me--
497
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:46,879
It's not what's
on the outside
of a vagina,
498
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,882
But what's
on the inside
that counts.
499
00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:50,916
[gurgling]
500
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,118
Aah! Ha! Aah!
501
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,788
Uno, dos--
1, 2, 3, cuatro!
502
00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:58,223
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
503
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,893
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
504
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:03,262
¶ in your
wizard sleeve ¶
505
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,597
[child laughing]
506
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,135
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
507
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:15,941
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
508
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,377
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
509
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,412
¶ oh, yes, sirree ¶
510
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,082
¶ fluffy muffy,
stuffy-iffy,
yeah, yeah, yeah... ¶
511
00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:24,416
¶ I got a fever for the ¶
ah-choo!
512
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,251
¶ beaver weaver,
yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
513
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,253
¶ honey pot,
geechy pie ¶
514
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:29,621
¶ take it to
the wild thing ¶
515
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,956
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
516
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,058
¶ baby, you got
something for me ¶
517
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,094
¶ in your wizard
sleeve ¶
518
00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:37,129
¶ la la la la, labia ¶
35105
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