All language subtitles for 7 - Oh Well English

Hi, I'm Sally Helgason, and I'm here talking with my great friend, World's number one leadership

coach, also the co-author on our new book, How Women Rise About Behaviors That Get in the Way of Successful

Women.

One of the real things that influenced me to start thinking about this book is recognizing, as I do

workshops around the world, that I also am almost a poster child for some of the behaviors that get

in women's ways.

One of those behaviors being worrying too much, trying to be perfect, ruminating.

And I have a great example of an opportunity where Marshall and I work together where this really came

out.

I love this story.

It's a great story.

So here's what happens.

So sadly, they're working together.

So I show up and it's in the summertime we're going to cut of blue jeans.

I forgot my pants.

So I find this to be the funniest thing in the world.

I only wear the same stupid khaki pants every day anyway.

So this woman is organizing.

Oh, I forgot my pants clothes bad.

Why don't we go to Wal-Mart or someplace to get me some pants.

I'm really finicky about on the way to the event on the way.

And the Israelis stop by Wal-Mart or someplace and get some pants and the story gets worse.

So then we go there and the women there have forgotten that I'm a man and all the restrooms are now

for women.

Well, unfortunately, I'm an old man.

I go to the bathroom sometimes.

So they go through this sort of process of having a scout, making sure that it's OK to go into the

bathroom.

So as a man, the men listening can appreciate this.

I go into the bathroom there and it smells good and they have flowers and and is a man.

This is not good.

You know, you're in on the floor, smells good flowers.

So there's so many red lights.

You're going to you do not belong.

You do not belong.

So if I sit down, I go to the bathroom and the women's room, the hell is hangar there for the purses

or not in the men's room.

So I stand up my face on the blood dripping all over everything.

That's like I'm stumbling out.

And again, I find this was a humorous thing in the world.

Oh, look at me.

I just had to go to the restroom story right in the five areas.

Right.

And then we're going through the program.

And then about at the end, I said, oh, gee, I forgot something like an hour earlier.

And I thought it was not a big deal.

So you did.

And I look and still tell the story, the group's reaction and your reaction.

Well, it was really interesting because I was watching this unfold.

I've been in the lobby early.

I've been up until about two o'clock in the morning preparing for this event.

It was a big event.

It was very important to me.

So I want to do a great job.

And when Marshall said he hadn't, he announced that he had forgotten his pants.

I couldn't believe it because I often have a nightmare in which I forgot my pants.

And I'm at a big event and I haven't brought my pants.

So I was thinking, wow, look at this.

He thinks it's funny.

For me, it's a literal nightmare.

Similarly, when he tumbled out in front of three hundred women onto the floor after knocking his head,

I was thinking, boy, what?

I feel like a fool if I did that.

Marshall seems to think that's kind of funny.

So we went on to the day and it was very successful program.

And I think Marshall had some great exercises.

I had some great material, but I noticed something.

I noticed something that really made an impression upon me, which was that Marshall had established

himself, as I won't say, a bumbler, but kind of not a perfect person for human, and that the women

in the audience really seemed to appreciate that there a number of them had tears in their eyes during

different exercises.

And I felt that what they saw modeled was somebody who was providing great value without being the perfect

person, who was being authentically themselves and letting it roll.

And it was a really good lesson to me because I was so caught up with the material that I was presenting,

making sure I remembered every point perfectly my delivery.

What I realized when when when Marshall suddenly had to leave was that I've been to some degree focusing

on myself because I had been nervous about doing a great job.

And guess what?

I was almost representing what a worried person looks like.

And I felt that the work that I'd done, which was, I have to say, in terms of the content, really

superb and helpful, was my message was undercut by the amount of work I'd done about how whether I

would do a great job.

So it's a really good lesson to me and I think it's very healthy.

For women in generally in general to think about how can I how can I be most myself and how can I enjoy

what I'm here to do rather than trying to do a perfect job?

It was a big learning moment for me.

It was something that made me start thinking about this book.

But I also it was a great lesson I learned from Marshall.

Great.