All language subtitles for 10 - Focus on People Who Care English

Hello, I'm Marshall Goldsmith, and I'm so excited about my upcoming book, How Women Rise, with my

co-author and lead author Sally Helgason, great authority on women in leadership.

She's been a joy to work with.

So excited about our new book.

And I just want to talk about a couple of the unique issues that I find with women a little bit more

than men.

I'll start with one that relates to me personally in my job as an executive coach, I have a very unique

belief system.

I don't get paid one cent if my clients don't get better, better not judged by me, better not judged

by my client, better judged by everyone around my client.

There's a great way to test someone, please, what they're saying.

You can ask a person one question and instantly determine their level of belief.

What is that simple question?

Do you want to bet on it now?

If they say I believe it, I don't want to bet on it.

What did you learn?

I don't believe it.

They say here's the money.

They believe it.

I bet on this every time when you get paid for results, you learn humility.

The client I coach that I spent the most amount of time with didn't improve at all.

I didn't get paid.

The client I coach, I spent the least amount of time with improved more than anyone I've ever coached.

Two hundred people got better and I did get paid.

This was a humbling lesson for those of you with a background in mathematics.

I made a chart on when dimension was called Time Spent with Marshall Goldsmith.

The other dimension was called improvment.

There was a clear negative correlation between spending time with me and getting better.

I thought this is a troubling chart.

I talked to my friend who improved the most.

I spent the least amount of time with who was ranked number three greatest leader in the world in twenty

fourteen behind only the Pope and Angela Merkel.

He was CEO of the year in the United States and had a ninety seven percent approval rating from every

employee in a union company.

An amazing leader.

His name Alan Mulally.

Alan, the CEO of Ford.

The stock went from one dollar to eighteen dollars and forty cents.

In theory, I'm supposed to be Alan's coach.

In practice.

I learned ten times from him what he learned from me.

I go talk to my friend Alan.

I said, Alan, of all the people I coached, you improve the most.

I spent the least amount of time with you.

I showed Alan my chart.

I said, Alan, the way this troubling chart looks and you never met me, you would really be good.

So I asked my friend Alan, which I learned about coaching from you, he taught me two lessons that

I think are really good for everybody, especially good for women, he said.

Morschel number one.

Your biggest challenge as a coach is called customer selection.

If you pick the right customer, you're coaching process always works.

You pick the wrong customer, never works.

And he said, never make the coaching process about yourself or your own ego and how great you think

you are.

Make it about those wonderful people you work with.

Such a great list, and most of us never deeply understand this lesson in my class for women, I often

ask a question how many of you are still futilely attempting to change the behavior of a husband or

significant other that has no interest in changing an amazing number of hands go up.

How many years have you been doing this?

Twenty.

Thirty.

How's it working out?

Oh, I tell.

And let it go.

Or let him go one of the other.

Let it go or let him go.

We're doing this.

We're wasting your time.

How many you trying to change mommy or daddy that has no interest in changing one woman in my class

at Dartmouth, she raised her hands.

I said, are you trying to change mommy or daddy?

She said, Daddy.

I said, what's daddy's problem?

She said, he does not have a healthy lifestyle.

I ask her, how old is daddy?

She said, Ninety four years old.

If the old boy alone let it go.

One thing I find in my work with women that women have much more than men.

It's the desire to save people, the desire to save people.

I learned a great lesson from my friend Alan in terms of coaching adults, if they do not care, do

not waste your time.

If they do not care, don't waste your time as a coach, as a helper, as a woman trying to make a positive

difference.

Put your time and energy in with people that do care.

They're probably the only ones who can get better anyway if they don't care.

Just take a deep breath and let it go.

Let it go.

Put your time and energy in with the people that care.

And don't waste your life banging your head against a wall, trying to change people who could care

less.