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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:05,912
♪
2
00:00:05,912 --> 00:00:07,516
(crows cawing)
3
00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:10,855
Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy,
this is a great booking.
4
00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:13,159
Don't bubbeleh me, boychik.
5
00:00:13,159 --> 00:00:16,332
Entertaining the kids at
Kelly Clarkson's housewarming.
6
00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:19,506
It's not my fault you lost
all your money on NFTs--
7
00:00:19,506 --> 00:00:21,610
non-funny TV shows.
8
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:24,550
Now get to work,
you're behind on your Cameos.
9
00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:26,085
(groans)
10
00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:27,956
Hey, hey, Jacob!
11
00:00:27,956 --> 00:00:31,564
Your dad's super-sad he couldn't
make it to your bar mitzvah.
12
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,099
It's a real shonda.
13
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:37,007
Also, all the best
from Dad's new wife, Shonda.
14
00:00:37,007 --> 00:00:40,815
(laughing)
15
00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,752
Oh...
16
00:00:44,388 --> 00:00:46,694
Thank you so much
for doing this, Krusty.
17
00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:48,263
Kelly really appreciates it.
18
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:50,635
And the children are all
huge fans. Right, kids?
19
00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:53,774
- Mm-hmm.
- Totally.
- Yeah, we love you, Crisco.
20
00:00:53,774 --> 00:00:55,477
(groans)
21
00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,354
Oh, what's that Kelly Clarkson
got that I don't?
22
00:01:00,354 --> 00:01:03,828
We all won singing contests
20 years ago.
23
00:01:03,828 --> 00:01:07,134
Oh, where's my infinity toilet?
24
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:10,240
Oh, that toilet isn't
from American Idol money.
25
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,177
You're looking
at daytime-syndicated
26
00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:13,179
talk show wealth.
27
00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:14,650
See those mega mansions?
28
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:17,354
Well, they belong to
the superstars of daytime TV:
29
00:01:17,354 --> 00:01:19,392
- Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams,
- Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
30
00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:21,195
- and that jerk Doctor Phil.
-(groans)
31
00:01:21,195 --> 00:01:24,870
All bought and paid for
with syndicated megabucks.
32
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:26,707
I see something in you, Krusty.
33
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:29,078
Oh, I was gonna put it back.
34
00:01:29,078 --> 00:01:30,515
You have daytime chops.
35
00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,652
There's always a place on TV
for a Regis--
36
00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:35,190
a cranky but lovable,
sexless grandpa.
37
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:37,595
Yeah, and what makes you
the expert?
38
00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:40,267
(exclaims)
39
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,342
Here's the real test.
Get that mom squad dancing.
40
00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:47,147
Daytime audiences love to dance.
41
00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:49,218
Forget it, lady.
I still got my dignity.
42
00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,356
-(phone chimes)
- Hey, wait.
43
00:01:51,356 --> 00:01:52,859
Mm...
44
00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:54,395
Hey, hey, Bryson!
45
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,334
Your mom wanted me
to congratulate you on...
46
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,973
getting your braces tightened.
47
00:01:59,973 --> 00:02:02,144
Make up a rap about it?
48
00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:04,983
(groans)
Look, fine, I'll dance.
49
00:02:04,983 --> 00:02:07,154
(grumbles)
50
00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:10,193
♪ Apple bottom jeans,
boots with the fur ♪
51
00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:11,462
♪ With the fur ♪
52
00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:14,670
♪ The whole club
was lookin' at her ♪
53
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:16,472
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
54
00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:18,209
-(women whooping)
-♪ Next thing you know ♪
55
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:21,850
♪ Shawty got low, low, low,
low, low, low, low ♪
56
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,057
♪ Them baggy sweat pants and
the Reeboks with the straps. ♪
57
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,694
-(Bart and Lisa laughing)
-(Santa's Little Helper barking)
58
00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:31,102
What's taking so long?
59
00:02:31,102 --> 00:02:33,139
All this food I can't eat
is taunting me.
60
00:02:33,139 --> 00:02:35,945
I read that grain-free
is supposed to be good.
61
00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,281
Or was it grain-full?
62
00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,884
Mom, can we get a gecko?
63
00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,521
I want a guinea pig.
64
00:02:40,521 --> 00:02:42,926
How about both in one cage,
and see what happens?
65
00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:45,163
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, please, mom?
66
00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:47,167
- Please, come on,
a gecko and a guinea pig.
- No! Why would we...
67
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,205
(sighs)
68
00:02:55,585 --> 00:02:59,225
Marge, honestly, is this
how you pictured your life?
69
00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:01,229
I think not.
70
00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:04,068
Yes, I lick my behind.
Big surprise.
71
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:06,105
Excuse me, would you
like to come participate
72
00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,675
in a focus group?
73
00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:10,213
Yes, anything but this.
74
00:03:10,213 --> 00:03:11,850
(scoffs)
Just pick a food.
75
00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:14,623
Oh...
76
00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:20,233
We want to know what you want
in your daytime programming.
77
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,972
There are no wrong answers
and no bad ideas.
78
00:03:22,972 --> 00:03:25,545
In that case, recipes.
79
00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:26,647
Sure.
80
00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:29,185
Air-fryer recipes.
81
00:03:29,185 --> 00:03:30,822
(groans)
82
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:33,928
Celebrities come on the show?
83
00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:35,363
Well, yes, obviously, but...
84
00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:37,134
Put it on the board, then.
85
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,338
Uh, I was thinking...
86
00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:42,077
- Something with vacuums.
-(groans)
87
00:03:42,077 --> 00:03:44,315
(both exclaiming)
88
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,524
Shiny coat or liver support?
89
00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:51,329
Why are they doing this to us?
90
00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,870
- Hats?
- What about hats, Helen?
91
00:03:55,838 --> 00:03:57,074
Maybe...
92
00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:59,378
babies wearing hats?
93
00:03:59,378 --> 00:04:02,251
And it's a whole
baby hat fashion show?
94
00:04:02,251 --> 00:04:03,954
- Exactly. Exactly.
- Oh, yeah, there you go.
- Ooh.
95
00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:05,490
That's not bad.
96
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,896
And you know how
there are just too many
97
00:04:07,896 --> 00:04:09,733
dog food options these days?
98
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:13,072
What if you brought out
Instagram dogs
99
00:04:13,072 --> 00:04:15,243
and had them do a taste test?
100
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,247
Wow!
Well, that's really good.
101
00:04:17,247 --> 00:04:18,884
What other ideas do you have?
102
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,755
Candle unboxing and sniffing.
103
00:04:20,755 --> 00:04:24,328
Celebrities read nice tweets
about other celebrities.
104
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,834
Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns.
105
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,804
Funny bed-making fails.
106
00:04:28,804 --> 00:04:29,773
And...
107
00:04:29,773 --> 00:04:33,647
tweens explain TikToks
to carpool moms.
108
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:34,916
Eh?
109
00:04:36,185 --> 00:04:38,389
You're a natural.
You've got nice ideas
110
00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:40,093
coming out the wazoo.
111
00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:43,133
You know, I'm in the market
for a new segment producer.
112
00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:44,468
You are?
113
00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:45,938
Will you excuse me for a second?
114
00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,374
Jerry, you're fired.
115
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,913
I'm... I'm free.
116
00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:53,186
Segment producer?
117
00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:54,623
I don't know.
I-I should probably
118
00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,662
talk it over with my family.
(gasps)
119
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,609
I'll take the job.
120
00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,181
Be warned, segment producer.
121
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,953
No one makes it out of these
shows unchanged.
122
00:05:09,953 --> 00:05:13,459
Oh, well, then it's a good thing
I'm not much of a changer.
123
00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:16,199
You can keep your job
or you can keep your soul,
124
00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:17,434
but you can't keep both.
125
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,906
Also, when you
turn in your receipts,
126
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:22,779
break them down
between dining and mileage
127
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:25,585
or you'll await
the reimbursements...
128
00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:26,820
forever!
129
00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:35,972
So this is behind the scenes
of a TV show.
130
00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:38,109
So much hustle.
131
00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:39,746
And bustle.
132
00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,723
Mm... mm.
133
00:05:45,525 --> 00:05:47,094
This is your desk.
134
00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:50,535
And this is where you can pin
all your genius segment ideas.
135
00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:52,539
With five shows a week,
it's very important
136
00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:55,010
that you always
be thinking up segments.
137
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,212
A daytime talk show without
138
00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:59,018
fun and interesting segments
is like a...
139
00:05:59,018 --> 00:06:01,022
You, finish my metaphor.
140
00:06:01,022 --> 00:06:02,391
Uh, um...
141
00:06:02,391 --> 00:06:04,729
Get me a baked potato
142
00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:07,267
so I can throw it at your head.
143
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,371
- Now!
-(exclaims, whimpers)
144
00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:12,545
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
145
00:06:13,446 --> 00:06:15,651
(humming a tune)
146
00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,589
Oh, I-I don't need
to order lunch.
147
00:06:17,589 --> 00:06:21,095
My kids packed mine as a
special treat for my first day.
148
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,966
Aw.
149
00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:28,076
Hmm. Maybe I will
take a look at that menu.
150
00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:31,650
Can I order you something, um...
What-what's your name?
151
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,021
Uh, to make it simpler
for the producers,
152
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,591
we're-we're all named Jordan.
153
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,536
I should've ordered some salad
154
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:45,043
to go with my salad toppings.
(chuckles)
155
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,784
Mm.
156
00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,696
Oh.
157
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:57,434
(laughing)
158
00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:58,837
What the hell is this?
159
00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:00,875
You people
didn't write me any jokes.
160
00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,446
You don't need jokes.
The women in our audience
161
00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:05,483
are just happy
to be out of the house.
162
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:08,256
They want to dance to
clean versions of Pitbull songs
163
00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:11,797
and go home with a free copy
of a Real Housewives memoir.
164
00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:14,101
Your only job is just be nice.
165
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,072
It's all about nice.
166
00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:19,011
Did you just make eye contact
with the host?
167
00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:20,380
No, I would never!
168
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:21,415
(growling)
169
00:07:21,415 --> 00:07:23,252
- Aah!
- Oh!
170
00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:26,860
Ladies and gay friends,
I'm MC Hairbone,
171
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,633
the funkiest daytime DJ
in the world.
172
00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:32,004
Get on your feet for your
newest, non-threatening-est
173
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,676
king of late morning
or early afternoon
174
00:07:34,676 --> 00:07:37,214
depending on your
local market and time zone:
175
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:38,951
Krusty!
176
00:07:38,951 --> 00:07:41,255
-♪ Apple bottom jeans,
boots with the fur ♪
-(cheering)
177
00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:42,792
♪ With the fur ♪
178
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,765
-♪ The whole club
was lookin' at her ♪
-(grunting)
179
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,002
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
180
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,240
♪ Next thing you know,
shawty got low, low ♪
181
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,979
♪ Low, low, low,
low, low, low ♪
182
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:56,352
♪ Them baggy sweat pants and
the Reeboks with the straps ♪
183
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:58,624
-♪ With the straps ♪
-♪ She turned around and gave ♪
184
00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:00,795
♪ That big booty a slap. ♪
185
00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:03,032
(groans)
Look at this.
186
00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,971
I already got
a wardrobe malfunction.
187
00:08:05,971 --> 00:08:07,809
(audience laughs)
188
00:08:07,809 --> 00:08:09,813
That's the kind of joke we get.
189
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:13,987
- Ah.
-♪
190
00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:18,697
Oh, my God,
this is my first segment.
191
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:21,570
I hope people like it, Jordan.
192
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,640
Look at this guy.
He's saying,
193
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,546
"I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap."
194
00:08:26,546 --> 00:08:28,650
(laughing, whooping)
195
00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:30,453
These are my people.
196
00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:33,292
And they're raising the roof
for my idea.
197
00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:36,399
Can you believe
we get paid for this?
198
00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:38,136
We don't.
199
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,006
(audience cheering, whooping)
200
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:42,945
Bart, you're taking this
really well.
201
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:45,183
I'd have thought
you'd be hatching some scheme
202
00:08:45,183 --> 00:08:47,054
to get the old Krusty show back.
203
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,122
Why would I do that?
204
00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:50,694
I've got my favorite Krusty
episodes right here.
205
00:08:50,694 --> 00:08:52,932
More than 700 of 'em.
206
00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:56,272
Hm, kind of makes you think.
207
00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,811
Once you have enough episodes
of any classic show,
208
00:08:58,811 --> 00:09:01,015
why do you need
to keep making more?
209
00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:02,819
Well, the reason is...
210
00:09:02,819 --> 00:09:04,522
Shh.
Watching classic Krusty.
211
00:09:04,522 --> 00:09:06,760
(Krusty the Clown
theme song playing)
212
00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:10,467
Oh, it's just so easy.
213
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,304
I don't
have to be funny anymore.
214
00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:13,574
I just have to be nice.
215
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:16,045
It's the greatest grift
I've ever done.
216
00:09:16,045 --> 00:09:19,786
(laughs)
I'm gonna go buy some cars.
217
00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:22,390
- Mm...
- You did a great job
today, Marge.
218
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:25,698
You know, we women have to
stick together in this business.
219
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,735
But I also want you
to never quite be sure
220
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,238
where you stand with me,
and just have
221
00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:32,612
a general sense of unease
about my intentions.
222
00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:34,248
Does that make sense?
223
00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:35,951
I think so.
224
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:36,953
Great.
225
00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,590
Okay, everybody,
conference room.
226
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:40,293
Pitch meeting for tomorrow.
227
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:41,530
You, plaid shirt.
228
00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,600
Not you.
Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah.
229
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,036
Bring the binder
of dinner menus.
230
00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:47,107
-♪ Let me talk to 'em ♪
-♪ Come on ♪
231
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,579
-♪ Shawty had them
Apple Bottom jeans ♪
-♪ Jeans ♪
232
00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:52,451
-♪ Boots with the fur ♪
-♪ With the fur ♪
233
00:09:52,451 --> 00:09:55,724
♪ The whole club
was lookin' at her ♪
234
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:56,960
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
235
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,198
♪ Next thing you know, low ♪
236
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,168
♪ Hey, I ain't never seen
nothing that'll make me go ♪
237
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,039
♪ This crazy all night,
spending my dough ♪
238
00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:04,876
♪ Had a million-dollar vibe
and a body to go ♪
239
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:07,515
♪ Them birthday cakes, they
stole the show, so sexual ♪
240
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,118
♪ She was flexible,
professional ♪
241
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,721
♪ Drinking X and O ♪
242
00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:12,290
♪ Hold up wait a minute,
do I see ♪
243
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,963
-♪ What I think I, whoa ♪
-♪ Come on. ♪
244
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,804
Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late.
245
00:10:18,804 --> 00:10:21,776
You would not believe
the day I had.
246
00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:24,582
Oh, please, let's eat.
I'm starving.
247
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,620
Oh, but if the bill looks high,
it's because
248
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,191
I already ate a full meal here.
249
00:10:30,594 --> 00:10:32,397
And then Krusty
didn't even tell us
250
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:34,368
he had swapped
the A and B blocks.
251
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,771
I'd already preset
the demo table
252
00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:38,710
for my segment,
"popcorn maker wars."
253
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,280
So, then it's my fault
254
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,518
the "reuniting soldiers
and their dogs" segment
255
00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:44,254
was such a disaster?
256
00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:47,360
Carla's the one who
turned on the popcorn machines.
257
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,699
And that's
Hair Department Carla?
258
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:52,638
No, Hair Department Carla
is blonde.
259
00:10:52,638 --> 00:10:54,474
You know, my day
was pretty crazy, too.
260
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:57,882
Lenny came in this morning
with a ladybug on his shirt,
261
00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:00,955
and we were seeing how long
before he noticed it.
262
00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:03,660
Segment idea:
"Krusty goes blond."
263
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,029
(laughs)
264
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:07,334
Lenny made it
all the way to lunch
265
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,006
and then the little guy
just fell off on its own.
266
00:11:10,006 --> 00:11:11,610
(laughs)
267
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,580
We called him Ladybug Lenny
268
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,416
for the rest of the day!
269
00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:16,820
(laughs)
270
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:19,526
- Ah, ladybugs.
-(phone dings)
271
00:11:19,526 --> 00:11:21,696
Oh, I have to go back
to the office.
272
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,901
The viral skateboard grandma
we booked for tomorrow
273
00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:26,773
has a history of racist tweets.
274
00:11:27,942 --> 00:11:31,248
Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet.
275
00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:35,624
Hmm.
276
00:11:35,624 --> 00:11:39,632
No. Too edgy.
Too soft.
277
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,968
What is this, Corden?
278
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:41,870
Seen it.
279
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:44,174
Not timely.
Too timely.
280
00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:45,644
Way too soft.
281
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:47,347
What is this, Fallon?
282
00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:49,351
"Good luck Mom, we love you."
283
00:11:49,351 --> 00:11:50,654
I don't even get this.
284
00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,992
Is that all you got?
285
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:55,698
Mm...
286
00:11:56,833 --> 00:12:00,306
(sighs) Guys, I know I've been
a little stressed lately,
287
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:04,081
but it's so nice for us
to all sit down together.
288
00:12:04,081 --> 00:12:07,354
It's okay, Mom.
You're doing your dream job.
289
00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:09,057
Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom.
290
00:12:09,057 --> 00:12:10,661
Now pass the index cards.
291
00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:11,529
The what?
292
00:12:11,529 --> 00:12:13,600
I'm hungry for segments.
293
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,403
Aah!
294
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,407
What's the matter,
Marge?
295
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,977
You haven't even touched
296
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:21,783
your steamed pushpins.
297
00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:25,023
Aah!
298
00:12:26,091 --> 00:12:27,460
(gasps)
299
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,033
(panting)
300
00:12:32,337 --> 00:12:33,874
(exclaims, gasps)
301
00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:40,587
(all grunting)
302
00:12:40,587 --> 00:12:42,424
Aah! Oh!
303
00:12:42,424 --> 00:12:44,963
Eh? (sighs)
304
00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:49,271
(cackling)
305
00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,776
Aah!
306
00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:54,381
-(sobbing)
-(whimpering)
307
00:12:54,381 --> 00:12:56,686
(growling)
308
00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:59,257
Mm. Mm...
309
00:12:59,257 --> 00:13:00,928
Look alive, people.
The big boss
310
00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:02,932
wants to see everyone
for a meeting.
311
00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:06,205
Krusty's here? But we don't tape
for another eight minutes.
312
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,810
I just wanted to tell you
how grateful I am
313
00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,246
for all your hard work.
314
00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:12,250
I never knew
doing a television show
315
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,256
could require so little effort
on my part.
316
00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:18,830
If anyone needs anything,
I'll be in my spray tan tent.
317
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,368
Thanks, Krusty.
You earned it.
318
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,241
Back to work. We need
50 branded segment ideas
319
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,682
for Menopause Chapstick and
something called Cereal Wine.
320
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,484
(all groan)
321
00:13:29,484 --> 00:13:32,257
At this solemn and holy moment,
322
00:13:32,257 --> 00:13:33,660
I baptize thee...
323
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:36,566
(phone clicking, chiming)
324
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,004
(grumbling)
325
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:41,509
How are we supposed
to do surprise makeovers
326
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:42,878
on the mailmen you brought in?
327
00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:44,882
Every one of them
is already gorgeous.
328
00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:46,820
ALL:
Shh!
329
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,527
Special thanks to
the Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew.
330
00:13:50,527 --> 00:13:52,932
(cheering, applause)
331
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,571
- That was great.
- It was fine.
332
00:13:55,571 --> 00:13:56,873
I mean, look me in the eye
333
00:13:56,873 --> 00:13:59,812
and tell me where the GIF was.
Tell me.
334
00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:02,685
Uh, uh, uh, when
the little kid breakdanced.
335
00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:04,187
Um, excuse me, Marge,
336
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:06,960
there seems to be an emergency
at your house.
337
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,033
What is so important
that you pulled me out of work?
338
00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,070
Marge, there's no emergency.
339
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:14,542
Have a seat.
This is an intervention.
340
00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,445
-(gasps)
-(toilet flushes)
341
00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:19,552
I missed the big reveal?
You said I had time.
342
00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,288
Midge, go out and come back in.
343
00:14:21,288 --> 00:14:23,894
Aw, nah, forget that.
Who's that even for?
344
00:14:23,894 --> 00:14:26,666
All right, all right,
intervention. And, uh, go.
345
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,837
If this is about
the melatonin gummies,
346
00:14:28,837 --> 00:14:30,941
I can stop whenever I want.
347
00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,545
No, Marge.
We're interventioning
348
00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,314
you and your whole deal.
349
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:36,251
I never thought
I'd speak ill of TV,
350
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,790
but I think it's destroying you.
351
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,026
(grumbles)
352
00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:41,763
PATTY and SELMA:
Mm-hmm.
353
00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:44,267
Cut to commercial.
354
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:50,179
Okay, let's make this quick.
Everybody say your little thing.
355
00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:52,217
We're just
worried about you, Marge.
356
00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:55,256
Look, even your best friend
Luann is here.
357
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:56,826
Best friend?
358
00:14:56,826 --> 00:14:58,830
We haven't
had the conversation yet,
359
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,834
but it's unspoken.
360
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,905
Mom, we want to be supportive
of your dreams,
361
00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:05,878
but you just don't
seem to be enjoying it anymore.
362
00:15:05,878 --> 00:15:08,282
Oh, I'm sorry.
363
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,621
Sorry that
you're all so threatened
364
00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,691
by a powerful, successful woman.
365
00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:16,231
Lisa, as a feminist, you should
be ashamed of yourself.
366
00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:18,870
Really?
Just this week the show's done
367
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,308
"sext your way
out of traffic school"
368
00:15:21,308 --> 00:15:25,116
and debuted a new daily segment
called "trends in cleavage."
369
00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:28,557
- When's this show on again?
-(phone dings)
370
00:15:28,557 --> 00:15:29,625
MARGE: Mm?
371
00:15:31,996 --> 00:15:35,136
The Internet's on fire
about our story
372
00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:38,109
exposing the toxic
work environment at Krusty.
373
00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:40,881
- Inexcusable.
- I heard they made
all the interns
374
00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,985
convert to Judaism
and work on Christmas,
375
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,223
then convert back
and work on Passover.
376
00:15:45,223 --> 00:15:47,160
-(all gasp)
- Mm-hmm.
377
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,231
(gasps)
This is a disaster.
378
00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:52,170
We can finish
this dumb thing later.
379
00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:55,409
Hmm. So, um,
what's the move here?
380
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,615
Well, is there anything else
we can work on?
381
00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:58,783
Hey Homer, how's the drinking?
382
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,219
Same.
383
00:16:00,219 --> 00:16:02,457
-(indistinct chatter)
-(whimpering)
384
00:16:07,902 --> 00:16:09,337
What the hell is this?
385
00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:12,277
For the first time in my life,
I'm not responsible
386
00:16:12,277 --> 00:16:15,851
for a toxic work environment.
I'm barely ever here.
387
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,055
Physically,
and certainly not mentally.
388
00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:19,224
Don't worry, Krusty.
389
00:16:19,224 --> 00:16:21,930
I'm going to find whoever said
it's terrible to work here
390
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:25,303
and personally bully them until
their hair falls out in clumps.
391
00:16:25,303 --> 00:16:28,309
But what you need now
is a redemption episode.
392
00:16:28,309 --> 00:16:31,148
And I know I speak
for the entire staff when I say
393
00:16:31,148 --> 00:16:33,987
we're willing to pull an
all-nighter to make it happen.
394
00:16:33,987 --> 00:16:36,358
(sobbing)
395
00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:37,995
Aah!
396
00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,399
Yeah, and you'll write me
one of those apologies
397
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,303
where it sounds like I'm sorry
but I'm not actually
398
00:16:42,303 --> 00:16:44,341
taking the blame for anything?
399
00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:46,713
I've done hundreds of these.
It's actually a template
400
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,415
in the software we use.
401
00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:51,355
Uh, what else?
402
00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:53,827
Bart, you got to be addicted
to something by now.
403
00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:55,396
None of your business.
404
00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,033
Fair enough.
405
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,004
(distorted):
♪ Shawty had them ♪
406
00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:02,110
-♪ Apple Bottom jeans ♪
-♪ Jeans ♪
407
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:04,782
♪ Boots with the fur ♪
408
00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:07,086
♪ With the fur. ♪
409
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:09,190
I was devastated
to learn that our show
410
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,263
has become
a toxic work environment.
411
00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:14,769
Well, even though
I knew absolutely nothing
412
00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:18,409
about what was going on,
the buck stops with me.
413
00:17:18,409 --> 00:17:22,016
And I promise you, I'm going
to take some time to listen,
414
00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:26,058
learn, not touch, and listen.
415
00:17:27,728 --> 00:17:30,132
What the hell is this?!
416
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,070
How am I supposed
to do the salad shake
417
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,642
if it's not
in its original container?
418
00:17:34,642 --> 00:17:36,111
-(grunts)
- Aah!
419
00:17:36,111 --> 00:17:38,449
(whimpering)
420
00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:40,286
Oh, my God.
421
00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:42,457
What have I become?
422
00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:51,441
I was completely unaware
of the following policies:
423
00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:53,145
if employees see me in my car,
424
00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:55,182
they must lower
imaginary sunglasses
425
00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:57,353
as if impressed and aroused.
426
00:17:57,353 --> 00:17:59,457
Krusty, you don't
need to do this.
427
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:01,529
- The world
needs to know the truth.
-(phone rings)
428
00:18:01,529 --> 00:18:04,401
It's the system of daytime TV
that's toxic.
429
00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:06,371
It's turned us all into monsters
430
00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:08,242
fueled by stress, gaslighting,
431
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:10,681
and $15 kale Caesar salads.
432
00:18:10,681 --> 00:18:13,285
The pressure to crank out
so much nice
433
00:18:13,285 --> 00:18:15,489
brings out the worst in us.
434
00:18:15,489 --> 00:18:18,763
We just wanted to bring
more nice in the world.
435
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,901
More nice.
436
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,705
Okay, new speech.
437
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,174
This non-apology apology
438
00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,713
just became a real apology.
439
00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:27,948
This place isn't toxic
440
00:18:27,948 --> 00:18:30,486
because of whoever this lady is
441
00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:32,558
or "the system."
442
00:18:32,558 --> 00:18:35,029
- It's toxic because of me.
-(audience gasps)
443
00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:37,100
I'm a showbiz monster.
444
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,970
I'm not nice.
445
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,008
So I'm stepping away
from the show...
446
00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:42,745
forever.
447
00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:44,047
-(gasps)
- Wha?
448
00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,953
Krusty. Krusty,
you don't have to do this.
449
00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:48,489
It's not your fault.
450
00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:50,627
Look, lady, I couldn't
agree with you more.
451
00:18:50,627 --> 00:18:53,432
Everyone who works here
except me is nuts.
452
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,438
I just quit because I closed
the deal for a new gig
453
00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:58,510
which makes
daytime talk show money
454
00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,847
look like late night
talk show money.
455
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:03,152
TV judge syndication money.
456
00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:04,187
A judge?
457
00:19:04,187 --> 00:19:07,928
Judge Judy is the richest
TV star in the world.
458
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:10,132
So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty.
459
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:13,072
I can let my body go,
just sit on my keister
460
00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:15,409
and speak truth
to stupid all day.
461
00:19:15,409 --> 00:19:18,983
All right, I got to go
work on my humiliation quips.
462
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,821
You ever do any bailiffing?
463
00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:21,856
Some.
464
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,593
No more show?
465
00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:27,634
I'm... I'm free.
466
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,041
Oh come on,
why would you do that?
467
00:19:31,041 --> 00:19:33,412
Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry.
468
00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:35,917
KRUSTY:
Oh, come on.
469
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,120
Don't sneeze on my robe
470
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,224
and tell me I'm in a car wash.
471
00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:41,228
Did you fall out
of the stupid tree
472
00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:43,098
and land in the idiot mulch?
473
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,969
His quips could use some work.
474
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,572
(laughs)
Mulch.
475
00:19:46,572 --> 00:19:48,843
Do you ever miss
working in TV, Mom?
476
00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:52,183
There was at least a week there
where you seemed to enjoy it.
477
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:54,655
Sure, it was
rewarding at first.
478
00:19:54,655 --> 00:19:56,859
But this experience
has made me realize
479
00:19:56,859 --> 00:20:01,001
my real dream job
is producing this family.
480
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,504
And now, as a consultant,
481
00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,975
I get the best of both worlds.
482
00:20:04,975 --> 00:20:06,478
(phone rings)
483
00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:08,449
Marge, it's Drew.
I need your help.
484
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:10,954
I got no A block for tomorrow.
485
00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:12,524
Let me see...
486
00:20:12,524 --> 00:20:14,427
Have you seen the viral grandpa?
487
00:20:14,427 --> 00:20:16,566
The one who raises baby ducks?
488
00:20:16,566 --> 00:20:20,507
Yes, I'm thinking
surprise spa day for him.
489
00:20:20,507 --> 00:20:22,945
And an extreme pond makeover
for the ducks.
490
00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:26,351
Oh, Marge, are you sure
you won't come work for me?
491
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,055
That's very sweet, Drew,
492
00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:30,493
but my daytime days are over.
493
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:32,396
-(kids grunting, coughing)
-(sobbing)
494
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,202
Oh...
495
00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:37,708
I'll be in touch.
496
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,912
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
497
00:20:39,912 --> 00:20:41,916
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
498
00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:43,686
and TOYOTA.
499
00:20:43,686 --> 00:20:44,922
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
500
00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,334
Here at Segments, we believe
501
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:54,274
there is life after daytime.
502
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:56,646
Our patients have suffered
indescribable trauma
503
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:59,885
from TV hosts
perpetuating the cycle of abuse
504
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:01,455
handed down since the days
505
00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:03,660
of The Mike Douglas Show.
506
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:06,331
We treat all aspects of PTSD--
507
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,202
post talk show disorder--
508
00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:09,605
compulsive fake laughter,
509
00:21:09,605 --> 00:21:11,843
guest cancellation
night terrors,
510
00:21:11,843 --> 00:21:13,412
long haul Kelly Ripas...
511
00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:15,717
Lindsey, who are you talking to?
512
00:21:15,717 --> 00:21:16,919
The audience.
513
00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:18,322
I'm warming up the audience.
514
00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:20,259
It's all on the teleprompter!
515
00:21:21,094 --> 00:21:22,497
Why don't you just put this on
516
00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:24,100
for a "who wore it best"
segment?
517
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,939
Mm! (chuckles)
518
00:21:30,814 --> 00:21:32,416
Shh!
35209
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