All language subtitles for Na.Uklady.Nie.Ma.Rady.2017.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Red or blue?

Which ones should I pick?

My entire life has been
full of these choices.

It all started when I was five.

What a beautiful ball you have.

And a campfire.

You are a very handsome boy.

- What's your name?
- Marek.

Marek... Nice name.

Smart choice, Marek.

Why, Grandpa?

Because...

Remember what I've told you?

It's worth it to be decent and honest.
You'll see.

- Have you been there?
- I have. They won't pay.

We'll send a new court order.

To do what? Cut off water and electricity?

Calm down. We'll impose a penalty.

- So I shouldn't worry?
- Right.

Thank you.

- We'll make good money from this.
- Goodbye.

- No luck?
- None at all.

Sell both flats. Problem solved.

Finally, we'll have some money.

And then what? If we pay off our debts,
there'll be nothing left.

What about vacations? You promised.

- We can forget about the Canary Islands.
- Every year the same story.

What can I do? Costs are rising.
I pump a lot of money into the business.

In three months we'll jump on a plane.

Or out of the window.

These are hard times for everyone.

Wrong. Listen: "Minister's sister-in-law
a member of the Treasury Board.

Twenty-year-old Aldona G.
with a wage of 20k per month."

Per month! She's on easy street!

Maybe she went to Harvard.

What? You mean external studies
in Zielona Góra.

Why do you read that stuff?
There are crooks everywhere.

Why are you calling her a crook?
The police have no interest in her.

Honey, don't get mad.

We'll hug under the palm trees.
Until then no hugging.

Are you nuts?

I need to deal with it
or we'll never have a vacation.

Try harder, and soon we'll be
hugging under the palm trees.

In Las Palmas.

- But...
- Don't touch me!

No.

Good morning.

Can I help you?

I'm here to see the manager
about the project.

Mr. Marczewski is busy.

- Joasia, come to my office.
- Of course.

Excuse me,
when will the manager be available?

He'll call you in as soon as he can.

Could you be more specific?

I submitted my project several weeks ago.

Then a few more days
won't make a difference.

We'll get back to you.

- Sushi Bar. Can I take your order?
- A menu for two, please.

- Big Chubba 60 as always?
- Yes, 60 pieces.

When will it be ready?

- How should I know?
- When should I call you?

Wednesday.

Motherfuckers... Hi, Marek.

- Hi.
- What's up?

I think my starter's broken.
I'd like Stasiu to have a look at it.

Have you seen that?

- Yeah, Renata showed me.
- Born with a silver spoon.

He's in charge now
and his family is made for life.

He'd rather employ his sister-in-law
than a professional.

Fucking clique.

Privilege of power.

Not your whole fucking life.
Each one of them should take a test.

If they fail, they give the money back
and get the fuck out.

Stanley is here. Stanley!

- Stanley.
- What's up?

Have you seen this?
They screwed us over again!

Yeah, I've read it. It's an outrage!

As soon as they get on the gravy train,
they start hiring family.

She doesn't know jack shit.
She has zero experience.

But she's got a nice tan
and a fancy dress,

and all of a sudden
she's all important now.

- Am I right?
- Totally.

When will they start employing
decent people?

Professionals.

Stasiu... It's a pipe dream.
They all play dirty.

Okay, I have to go. See you.

- Have a look at the starter, will you?
- One moment.

- Hello?
- I'm calling about the Fiat.

- I'm busy.
- But...

- I'll call you in an hour.
- I'll be...

Stasiu, you hold the phone
like a mobster.

What do you mean?

You know...

How should I hold it?

- Keep it simple.
- What do you mean?

- I don't know. Like that?
- Like that?

Much better. Nice.

Tell me about your big project.

Come on, you know how it is.

I'm not in the manager's
circle of friends.

- And the starter broke down.
- I feel really sorry for you.

Fortunately I have my workshop,

and I enjoy my work.

No stress, clients are lining up.

I don't have to wear
a suit and tie for half the day.

I keep it cool all the time.

Whoop-de-doo!

Stasiu...

One moment.

- How it's going?
- Hi. What's up with this Tico?

- How old is the car?
- Quite old, 18. But it runs smoothly.

- What's the mileage?
- Over 330.

Three hundred thousand?
We have to set the odometer

to 122,400 so it won't look suspicious.

We'll sell it for 2,5. See you.

Business is booming, eh?

You see, Marek...

If you buy a cheap wreck
and do some welding and wrenching,

- it'll be as good as new.
- Was my car made the same way?

Come on, yours is ship-shape.

It only had a broken bumper,
radiator and headlamp.

- You told me it was accident-free.
- Marek...

A bump is not an accident.

I never said it was bump-free.
And you didn't ask. It's accident-free.

Okay, what's wrong with it?

The starter broke down.

The starter?

Marek, you never know
when a starter goes bad.

Give me the keys.
The bus stop is over there.

See you tomorrow.

Thanks.

Hey, boy!

I've told you, no smoking in the workshop!

Very nice.

Mrs Górska...

Don't play the fool,
you know very well what this is about.

- The late rent payments.
- We don't have any money at the moment.

- That moment has lasted nine months.
- Can't help it. High unemployment rate.

I know times are hard,
but when I offered a job to this...

Hello.

...to your son,

- he wasn't interested.
- What kind of job?

Ten zloty an hour.

And it was physical labor.
My son is better than that.

Exactly.

It's good to have high ambitions.

But you are very well off.

Our finances are none of your business!

Exactly.

But your finances
are kind of my business, aren't they?

Very well. I have an official letter.

The rent has increased.

- Here is the bill.
- What are you talking about?

Sonny!

- Yes, Jola?
- Someone to see you on urgent business.

- What urgent business?
- Very urgent.

Let him in.

Good morning.

Agent Gwizdoń.
Alert Ltd. Insurance Company.

I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but we don't need any insurance.

Besides, there's a note on the door:

- "Peddlers stay away!"
- I'm not a peddler.

- Then who are you?
- A well-known insurance agent.

I'm really not interested.

You're making a mistake. Do you have
household or liability insurance?

Yes, I do.

- You're wasting your time.
- You're wrong.

What if someone harasses your wife
or poisons your dog?

Excuse me?

Mr... Gwizdoń.

First of all, I don't own a dog.

Second of all, no one will harass
an ugly wife. That's not an answer.

One man's junk
is another man's treasure.

Mr. Gwizdoń. First of all,
my wife is very attractive.

See? She's asking for it.

I bet there's some pervert
lying in wait for her.

I'm afraid
no one cares about her besides me.

How can you be so sure?
Are you acquainted with the pervert?

- I'm not acquainted with any perverts.
- So the writing's on the wall.

You'd rather save a few bucks
than make your wife feel secure.

You don't care about her well-being.

You're getting nervous now, aren't you?

What if some horn-dog is after her?

I have an interesting offer for you...
Here you go.

Just don't try anything funny.
Some clients do.

They send a rapist after the wife
and split the indemnity three ways.

- Everybody wins. Mostly the wife.
- I see.

As soon as a rapist contacts me,
I'll let you know.

Right. My name is Lionel.
Lionel Messi. You know what I mean.

The Messi of insurers.
I'm a goal-oriented person.

- You left something.
- Thank you.

Jolanta.

Put this on the board, please.

Thank you.

You have a great talent, Marek.

ENTRY PROHIBITED

Who are you?

- Alan Ogórek.
- Marek Niewiadomski.

If you're a peddler,
you're wasting your time.

And mine too.

- I'm not a peddler.
- Thank God.

- What brings you here, Mr...
- Alan.

...Alan?

I represent a renowned
financial counseling company.

We advise on how to invest

- to make profit.
- And you're willing to share knowledge?

Exactly! May I interest you
in our investments?

For 100k, 500k and one million zloty.

Please have a look
and pick what you like best.

- Mr...
- Alan.

Alan. Have you ever seen

one million zloty in cash?

- No, I haven't.
- Me neither.

- Where do you live?
- On Cosmonaut Street.

- In a house or a flat?
- A studio flat.

- What do you drive?
- A Golf.

- Year of manufacture?
- '92.

I knew it.

- Mr...
- Alan.

Alan.

If you owned the newest model Ferrari,

straight from the dealer,
and you lived in a mansion

bought with the money
you'd made from your investments,

I would be open to any advice
you had to give me.

And now, Alan,

if you'll excuse me, I'm busy.

- One moment!
- Maybe someone else will be interested.

- Goodbye.
- I have other investment plans!

Good day. I'm Alan Ogórek.

I represent a renowned
financial counseling company.

We advise how to invest to make profit.

One more thing.

If anybody asks, I'm not here.
Please. Thank you.

We're here
on a matter of great importance.

We are from
the Light of Hope congregation.

What kind of light?
You work at the power station?

Not at all. We're members of
a religious congregation.

- A congregation?
- Light of Hope.

Ah, yes, Light of Hope.

We're asking for a small donation.

Would you like to discuss
the problems of the modern world?

The donation doesn't have to be small.

I'm sorry but I have my own problems.

So you have problems
that you cannot solve by yourself.

Maybe God could help?

He doesn't know
the answer to my sorrows.

God knows all the answers.

That's consumerism.
It's not all about money.

You should tell that to my bank account.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm very busy.

Besides, I'm agnostic, atheist
and a heretic.

- Goodbye!
- But...

Jesus and Mary!

- Satanist!
- Communist!

Good morning.

- Morning.
- I'm here on a matter of business.

Not again. There's a sign
on the door: "Peddlers stay away!"

Sir, I'm not a peddler.

Insurance? I can tell you right now,

- I don't know any perverts.
- I'm not an insurer.

Financial counseling?
How much do you need? One million? Two?

Mr. Ogórek dropped by today.

He asked for just one million.
Cash or transfer?

Is everything all right?
You seem a bit troubled.

That's true. So please hurry up
and tell me what brings you here

and who you represent.

Warsaw Tax Office.

Come again?

- Tax Office?
- Yes, Warsaw Tax Office.

- Please, have a seat.
- Thank you but no.

I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day.

Some weirdos showed up here today.
Including Messi.

- Anal Ogórek.
- Pardon?

I'm sorry. Slip of the tongue. Fuck...

What brings you here?

Some inconsistencies in your tax return.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

- Let's talk about those millions.
- What millions?

You've offered me several millions.

I have? Come on...

I haven't seen it in your tax return.

Have you included it?
And there's this million

received by Mr. Ogórek.
We're going to investigate that.

What are you doing? That was a joke!

Yeah, right. I know your type.

You'll be called in for questioning.

And...

- You are under scrutiny.
- Of course.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Marek, can we talk?

How it's going? It's been a long time.

At least five years.

More than a decade. In hindsight,

don't you regret giving up your studies?
A PhD was within reach.

You're bright.

But the money wasn't within reach.
And I got married.

Excuse me for asking,
but what brings you here?

I'm here to discuss
a very important matter.

- No, thanks...
- Calm down.

- I have an interesting offer for you.
- What kind of offer?

Do you know what my current job is?

- You teach?
- That too.

A year ago

I was appointed as chief counsel
to the deputy minister.

- Finally someone competent.
- Thank you.

It's an interesting job,
but the staff are poor.

- It's obvious.
- A bunch of amateurs.

As they are often

recommended by their parties,

I can't sack them.

A scandal broke out lately.

There were some deals behind closed doors
and the media picked up the story.

The prime minister asked me to find
someone not involved in politics

and with no political alliances.

I thought of you.

In what sense?

We could use another...

deputy minister.

One like you.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

- A deputy minister?
- That's right.

- You are offering me a ministerial job?
- Yes.

Deputy minister
in the Ministry of Environment.

But...

- Am I the right person for this job?
- Why not?

I don't know.

- Am I qualified enough?
- Come on.

If you're not, then who is?

You're well versed in the matter.
Almost got a PhD.

You were my best student.

Innovative, open-minded,

with years of experience in the business.

I couldn't think of
anyone more suited to the job.

And the pay is decent.

We value an innovative approach.

You'll get a corporate car.

Holy shit...

That's quite unexpected, Professor.

So...

It's settled.

I don't know if I'll be any good.

If I had even the slightest doubt,

I wouldn't be offering you this job.

Deputy Minister... Damn.

PRIME MINISTER

Hello?

Hello?

Mr. Waligórski is calling
about the bid. Put him through?

- Yes, please.
- Line one.

- The same handset?
- Yes, don't hang up.

Good morning, Mr. Waligórski.

Good morning, Deputy Minister.
Are the papers in order?

They are, but we'll announce
the winning offer in three weeks' time.

- Wasn't the offer good enough?
- It was very interesting,

but we have to take into account
all the pros and cons.

All right.

- I can hardly hear you.
- I'm sorry.

- What about now?
- Yes, much better.

The offer is interesting but we have to
take into account all the pros and cons.

- Shall I call you in a couple of days?
- We'll be in touch.

- Thank you.
- Yes.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Ewa, I'd like to have a look
at the geological reports, please.

- Reports?
- Geological.

Geological reports? Oh, I know.

- Thank you.
- I'll be right there.

Are these the reports you wanted?

Yes.

Hello?

I hear you're working
on something interesting.

Yes. Good morning, Mr. Palirucki.

I have an idea. We could save

several million zloty.

I'm in charge of several projects.
I don't have time for this nonsense.

This isn't nonsense. We could save money.

I know all too well that I'd have to
invest in order to save money.

We'll talk at the cabinet meeting.

I've been around longer than
several prime ministers.

- I don't care.
- You're either a dumbass or a wise guy,

- but you're arrogant for sure.
- Please don't shout at me.

You're new here.
You've got a lot to learn.

All right.

I'll put your project on the list,
but don't get your hopes up.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Dumbass.

I hope he didn’t hear that.

- Time for press review.
- Thank you.

More tea or coffee?

Both. Not to trouble you.

- Tea and coffee then.
- Thank you.

Brand new day. Red ones or blue ones?

Good morning, Deputy Minister.

- Zdzisław Omylak.
- Marek Niewiadomski.

Please have a seat.
Would you like something to drink?

No, thank you.

- Mr. Omylak...
- One moment.

Do you have a bug in your tooth?

No. It must be a filling.

They put wires in ashtrays
and dinner tables nowadays.

My bodyguard, Bogdan.

Let's get back to business.

Did you have a look at my offer?

I did. In my opinion it's too expensive.

As you know, quality does not come cheap.

In my opinion the quality
is not worth the price.

When you spend millions,
you can spare a few thousand.

It's not that much.

No one will notice.

I just did.

I can't give you the details,
but you're probably aware

that there are cheaper offers.

Waligórski and Pazerny
offered to do the job for less?

Sir, they are both bunglers.

I advise you to consider my offer.

All offers are analyzed thoroughly.

We'll announce the decision
in three weeks' time,

after we get the opinion
of the commission.

They are just advisers.

You make the final decision.

- That's right.
- Allow me to introduce...

my assistant,

Beata.

- Marek Niewiadomski.
- Hello.

By the way, Deputy Minister,

do you like to travel?

Very much.

But as you may imagine,
I have a heavy workload.

But the world is beautiful,
Deputy Minister.

It just so happens that my associate

has a mansion with a pool in Mauritius.

Where are you going with this?

To Mauritius.

You are cordially invited.

Beata could keep you company.

She knows the area. She could show you

the local wonders.

It's a fantastic place.

The tickets are at my expense.

Mr. Omylak...

are you trying to bribe me?

There's no need to use words like that.

I can invite anyone I like there.

It's not anyone’s concern
where I invite my friends.

- We're not friends.
- We can be.

I'm a people person.

Mr. Omelak, let's be serious.

Deputy Minister,
Mauritius is a beautiful island.

Palm trees, coconuts. Apropos...

It could be a fruitful trip.

I'm afraid I have no interest
in local fruits.

Just look at Beata.

I can't take my eyes off her.

Your assistant is truly charming.

You see?

Not only is she bright but
she also has a great passion for nature.

She's an enthusiastic naturist,
if I may say so.

Excuse me, what does it have to do
with the offer?

The poor thing
can't get comfortable in Sarbinów

or Chałupy; there are always
some perverts peeping.

- Who?
- Yes, sir. Peeping Toms,

gropers, and other scum.
And the poor thing is very shy.

Of course.

- Mr. Omylak.
- Yes?

I appreciate that you care so much

about Beata's well-being.

Unfortunately, I have to go.

- Goodbye.
- But...

I'm very busy.

Will you take my offer into consideration?

We shall announce the winning offer
in three weeks' time.

Don't forget that a mansion and a yacht
are waiting for you. Beata as well.

- Of course.
- Goodbye.

Of course.

Sweet Jesus and Mary.

Yes, Ewa?

Mr. Pazerny just called.
I told him you were out for lunch.

He said it's important. He's on his way.

Blue suit and a briefcase.

I think I see him.

- Lech Pazerny.
- Marek Niewiadomski.

What brings you to me?

One moment. I hope you don't mind.

- It's a filling.
- Clear.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

May I?

- Be my guest.
- I'm really sorry. But you know,

- one can never be...
- Too sure. I know.

What's this all about?

What are my chances to win the bid?

We'll see in three weeks' time.

Right.

I've done many similar projects.

I've got great experience.

- There have been no complaints.
- I understand.

I'm not saying the offer is bad,

but it can be done cheaper.

The costs are a bit too low.
Unless you want to waste money.

Why would I?

Never mind.

Let's get to the point.

That was the point.

A fun fact:

do you know what's in the briefcase?

- I have no idea.
- One million in cash.

Why are you telling me this?

Because with that kind of money
you could visit Mauritius 50 times,

- and you'd have plenty left.
- What are you talking about?

Minister, don't act like a child.

I know you had a chat
with that schemer Omylak.

He owns a house in Mauritius.
He shares it with people for favors.

And I'm pissing on Mauritius.

There's one million in cash
in this briefcase.

I beg your pardon. Mr. Pazerny, this is...

a daylight bribe.

You want me to call CBA?

And what will they do?
Can't a man forget his briefcase?

Would you arrest someone
for leaving an umbrella on the bus?

- Are you implying he bribed the driver?
- What are you talking about?

Enough of this.

We'll announce the decision
in three weeks' time.

Deputy Minister...

Whether you take the money or not,

someone has to win the bid.
And what if someone else does?

The prime minister will give you
a pat on the back

and maybe a small reward.

True.

You don't want that to happen, right?

How about this: I win the bid,

the government hires us as contractors,
and you're a million richer?

Gustav, what do you say?
It seems all right.

They get what they want

and you get your million.

Gustav says it's a good deal.

Just one moment. Stop.

Let's talk about the investment.
We've lost track of what's important.

- Of course.
- With the proposed cost reduction,

and with the type of materials
you want to use,

it'll collapse in 20 years' time.
Very soon.

So what?

What do you mean, "So what"?

I don't care whether it lasts
20 or 500 years.

It's not our problem.

Even if some journalist
exposes the scheme after 20 years,

so what?

There is a ten-year statute of limitations
for such crimes.

Mr. Pazerny, wait one second.

You seem to be forgetting that
I'm a high-ranking civil servant.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

You are too open about your plans.

Gustav, give us a minute.

Marek...

There is nothing to be afraid of.

Take some time to think about my offer.

All right? All right?

Yes.

Very well...

I'll think about it.

I'm very glad. We'll keep in touch.

- Can Gustav forget his briefcase?
- Yes. No, stop! Wait a moment.

Don't forget anything,
especially your briefcase.

You are so young and distrustful.

You'll get used to it.

Gustav, can we forget a briefcase
containing a million euros next week?

He says it's all right.
We'll drop by next week

to forget a briefcase.
But don't forget about me.

- Goodbye.
- Bye. Could I have the phone?

515745122. Just kidding.

Your wife is here.

Yes, I'll call you back.

Hi, listen, don't you need
a marketing specialist?

What?

Why are you so annoyed? What's wrong?

- I have to select the winning offer.
- Then do it.

It's not so simple.

It's a no-brainer.
Pick the cheapest option.

They won't mind.

The guy that made the lowest bid
offered me one million zloty in cash.

- One million?
- In cash.

- He had a briefcase filled with money.
- What did you do?

What do you mean?
I told him to get out.

- Are you out of your mind?
- Why?

What have you done?

You should have taken it.

If you won't take it, someone else will.

I don't want to go to jail.

Only fools go to jail.

The ones who kill someone
to steal a cheap cell phone.

They get life sentences.
Those who steal millions

go out on parole and enjoy life.

- How would it make me feel?
- Rich?

- Come on.
- What was his reaction to your refusal?

He thought I was bargaining.

And offered one million euros.

That's even better. Darling...

You're more cunning than I thought.

Thanks.

What are you talking about?

I'm not cunning at all.

I won't let him in next time.

- Idiot.
- He is.

- You're an idiot.
- What's wrong with you?

- I'm sensible!
- What?

That's common sense.

Honey, everyone accepts bribes.

And they're well off.
Only you act as if you're John Wayne.

- Last man standing!
- I like John Wayne.

He died of cancer.

Honey, please, think about it again.

Don't make rash decisions.
We could turn everything around.

Goodbye to debts, loans, mortgage.

I will make it up to you.
Promise to think about it.

- Will you?
- Yes.

Do you promise?

Okay, I promise.

Right, about that marketing guy!

I don't know what you're talking about.
I need a graphic designer.

Same thing. Stefan called me.

His son Jacek went to a private school.
He's educated, but can't find a job.

- I thought that...
- All right.

...you could handle it.

- I could handle it?
- Great.

Stefan, come in.

Hello, why the sad face?
Your brother-in-law is here.

I'm happy to see you.

What about my son?

He's a bright guy. And he's your godson.

He is bright.

But I need
a professional graphic designer.

He's your guy.
He spends hours on the computer.

- He's very popular on Facebook.
- Very popular!

That's impressive, but I need an expert.

He's thirsty for knowledge.

I know how to return a favor.

- Renata...
- I'll tell him

to buy some books on computers,
he'll figure it out in no time.

Damn it, I need an expert

in simulation and visualizations.

He can simulate whatever you want.
And someone else will do the job.

He'll take some lessons

and in a year's time he'll be an expert.

- He'll be the best.
- Renata...

The best, have no fear.

We'll leave you to your work.
I'm taking my sister to lunch.

See you later. Come on.

You're the best.

Marek.

What to wear today?

Minister,

there's someone here to see you.
He says he knows you.

Stasiu! Of course, please.

- Hi, Stasiu.
- Hi, Marek.

- Ewa, coffee please.
- No milk or sugar for me.

What brings you here?

I was in the area. I thought to myself,

why not come by to see how you're doing?

Stasiu! I haven't seen you
in a suit before.

You know how it is. The right look

- is the key.
- Did you sleep in a tanning bed?

Are you nuts?
I'm covered in Egyptian Soil.

Egyptian Soil?

Something like that. The girls dig it.

Ewa is here.

- I brought coffee.
- Thank you.

Stop that.

Where did you get such a nice tan?

- It's Egyptian soil...
- On American soil.

I went on a business trip to Miami.

California sun works wonders.

- Good for you.
- Yeah.

Stop that.

A Californian... from Miami.

- What? That's a cool pick up line.
- Stasiu...

Are you any good with geography?

Where's California and where's Miami?

She's a secretary,
not an expert on topography.

You'd be surprised.
In spite of appearances,

Ewa is an intelligent
and educated woman.

All right, don't get so emotional.

She's very nice.

Admit it, it's hard to control yourself,

when she walks into the room
in that skirt.

Man, she's really good-looking.

Tell me, have you tried flirting with her?

No, I haven't tried any such thing.

Stasiu, come on...

All right...

How's it going?

A stone.

How's it going? Same as always.

And how is your new job?

Well...

It's a big responsibility.

And... there's a lot of work to do.

Stop complaining. It's a dream job.

There's no comparison
to what I do for a living.

I'm covered in grease from head to toe.

- You did say you liked it.
- You know how it is.

People say dumb stuff
when they're drunk.

- I'm sick and tired of my workshop.
- Yeah?

Marek, I'll be frank with you.

Could you find me a job?

In the Ministry? As a mechanic, right?

Are you nuts?

A desk job,
preferably a managerial position.

It can be a lower-level manager,
as long as it's a manager.

I'm too old to run errands,
don't you think?

- Are you serious?
- What? Something wrong with me?

No, everything is perfect. But you know...

You've never worked in an office before.

So what? Big deal. What about
Self-Defense of the Republic of Poland?

A bunch of peasants and a janitor.

And they ran the country for two years.

Stasiu, in case you haven't noticed...

I don't belong to any political party.

Besides that,

I need an expert, you understand?

If you're surrounded by experts,

one amateur won't stand out.

Marek, please, give me a helping hand.

Stasiu, I need someone with experience.

Someone qualified for the job. Tell me,

do you have the competence to do it?
Don't put me in a position like this.

All of a sudden
you're the great Deputy Minister.

I've helped you many times.

And now you turn your back on me?

You're all important now!

But you aren't in trouble.
You have a job, you earn decent money.

- What's your point?
- So what?

Am I no good?

The professor got you a job.
Why can't you do the same for me?

If you're such a wise guy,
try to repair a car in the winter.

Stasiu, first of all,

I got the job because I'm qualified.
I almost got a PhD.

Don't take this personally,
but you graduated from a technical school.

It was a night school,
if I remember correctly.

We need someone with a master's degree.

So you're a scientist now?
Night school isn't good enough for you?

And that hussy we read about in the paper?

She only studied part-time

and she's a member of the board, right?

Have they gone bankrupt?
She runs the company well.

I remember very well
that you actually called it

- an outrage!
- True.

I might have said that
because I lost my temper.

Marek, come on.

Find me a desk job.

How come you don't stand by
your friends, as others do?

My dear Stasiu!

I really can't help you.
Please, you have to understand.

Bullshit!

If you have trouble with the car again,
you'll have to find some other sucker

to fix that junk.

Wait a minute. You said it's a fine car.

I've said a lot of stuff.
Let me tell you one thing:

I hope you're out of the job soon.
You can kiss my ass.

You don't care about your friends.

So nice to see you,
Deputy Minister.

What are you doing here, Mr. Omylak?

If I hear one word about Mauritius,

- I'll show you the door.
- Deputy Minister,

Mauritius isn't going anywhere.
Neither is Beata.

Have you seen that schemer Pazerny?

- What are you getting at?
- If, by any chance,

Pazerny happens to leave something
in your office...

Nobody has left anything in my office.

I know from a good source

that he has a habit of losing things.
Besides, he's...

a briber.

Good morning.

I was just passing by.

I saw this pathetic businessman coming in.

I decided I would take the chance

and have a few words with him
in your presence.

Excuse me,
but it's the deputy minister's office.

And the deputy minister
doesn't like unannounced visitors.

Did you announce your visit,
you schemer?

You son of a Russian partisan
and a motor-pump.

Minister, as you can clearly see,

this corrupt individual
is openly insulting me.

Me, an old-fashioned businessman.

Good one. In the old days
he was a harvester driver

and stole gas from the base.

That's slander, you schemer!

Slander? He drove his fat ass
in a harvester,

an old Vistula

with a horizontal steering wheel.

He didn't know how to drive a Bizon.

And you dare
to call yourself a businessman?

Back in the day you organized
workers' holidays

and sold meat stolen from
the factory canteen.

What are you talking about, you pimp?

You calling me a pimp? Who molested

all the cleaning ladies? Not me.

You see? He's a thief and pervert.

Look who's talking. A commie has-been.

I'm warning you, Minister.

Having him around means trouble.

Dear God, how people resent those
who are decent at heart.

Decent at heart? Show us,
what's in your suitcase?

Let the Minister see.

Well?

Open it.

Deputy Minister...

Don't forget...

What a peasant.

Don't forget that my offer

is the cheapest one.

Simply text me: "briefcase."

You know my number. Goodbye.

Why did you let Pazerny in unannounced?
Do you know what he just did?

He was so quick
that I didn't have time to do anything.

Next time please be more assertive,

- alright?
- Of course. It's my fault.

Here are the candidates
for the graphic designer position.

They applied for the job.

- Someone else should have a look at it.
- But you've said

you're going to decide this yourself,
to avoid suspicions of favoritism.

I'm sorry. I'm so distracted. Thank you.

"English and German
at conversational level."

"Open to new challenges."

"Enjoys teamwork."

"English and Spanish
at conversational level."

"Open to new challenges."

"Enjoys teamwork."

"English..."

"Kashubian"?

"Enjoys working in a team."

"English..."

"Enjoys teamwork..."

Forty million people in this country,
and every applicant has the same CV.

What's up, Ewa?

I brought more CVs.

- Are there a lot of them?
- 1264 at the moment.

- How many?
- 1264.

I can't do this anymore.
They're all the same.

I bet they all used
the same internet source.

I'll go through them tomorrow.

Are you sure you want to
interview the applicants yourself?

Should I arrange the meetings?

I'm a reliable person.

I take my duties seriously
and I'm open to new challenges.

I know my way around the latest software.

I'm a reliable person.

I take my duties seriously
and I'm open to new challenges.

Maybe in your own words.

I'm the OG of graphic design
and the king of social bling.

I'd hang out with a frog-eater

- with ease.
- Let's do it the old way.

I'm a reliable person.
I take my duties seriously.

I'm open to new challenges.

I know my way around the latest software.

What about weaknesses?

If needed.

For example?

I'm a reliable person.
I take my duties seriously. I'm...

Kamil.

- Kamil?
- Uncle?

- What are you up to?
- Messing around with my computer.

Put that aside. I have an offer for you.

Today I'll pick the red ones.

Or the blue ones.

- Stefan...
- Calm down?

Yes, calm down.

You've arranged a job for him.

It's not what you think.

I know the boy. He has serious skills.

I've heard that Kamil
doesn't even have a diploma.

I'm aware of that,

but he has won professional contests.
He left Americans in the dust.

- Don't downplay my boy.
- Jacek doesn't know what Windows is.

You're only on our side
for the photographs.

I know, only in photographs
would your people actually look nice.

- You'll bring shame upon our family.
- So disown me.

Just give him a chance...

Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God!

Renata, good to see you.

What's on your mind?

My family.

My family is on my mind.

What's wrong?

What does Kamil have that Jacek doesn't?

He's not part of your family.

- Darling...
- Don't you "darling" me.

Kamil won the graphic design contest
in Boston.

- Jacek is your godson.
- So what?

It's not a Ministry of Family Ties.

As I thought. You're so important now,
working for the Ministry and all!

You've always put your family first.
Kamil this, Kamil that.

What are you talking about?

- I haven't seen him for five years.
- Jacek visits you every weekend.

- Kamil showed up once and he got a job.
- So what?

I don't employ people
based on how often they visit our house

but rather how skilled they are.

Don't you get it?

The decision is final. End of story.

Or the end of the road for our marriage.

Are you nuts? First Stefan, now you.

The cat’s out of the bag.

I've offered Stefan and Marta help.

Our help. It's your godson.

My nephew. Our family.

But if you don't care about family...

they don't care about you.

But...

This is nuts.

Oh.

Come here.

Is everything all right, Minister?

I'm a bit anxious.

You should relax more.

Have some rest.

But how, Ewa?

Leave all your worries behind.

- You can always count on me.
- You're right.

I can. What are you doing?

-I'm married
-I don't care.

I don't want to break your marriage up.
I just want you

to be more relaxed at work.

We shouldn't...

Don't you feel a bit happier?

I do.

Yes, I do.

I have absolutely no limits.

- I'll do anything for you.
- Okay...

Anything you want.

- But you have to promise...
- I promise.

...that you won't go anywhere
with Omylak's hussy.

Just a minute! Stop! Hold on!

Why did you bring up Omylak?
What are you doing with my belt?

- Did Pazerny send you?
- Don't jump to conclusions.

- It's discrete lobbying.
- Thank you, but I'm not interested.

You are very charming,
but unfortunately...

I have to get back to my responsibilities.

Don't work yourself so hard,
Deputy Minister.

Today I'll wear the red ones
or the blue ones. For sure.

Line one, please hold.

Good morning, Prime Minister.
I'm calling about the offer.

- How did it go?
- Well.

Is it settled?

Yes. I've consulted the committee,
analyzed the data

and chosen a company which seems...

- best suited.
- I'm glad

it all worked out well.
When will you send me the report?

- I'll send it tomorrow.
- All right.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Nepotism, pacts
and a network of relations.

Good morning, Joanna Cichoń.

- Our Nation magazine.
- I know.

- Please.
- I have some questions.

- Something to drink first?
- I'd rather get straight to the point.

I'm all ears.

Could you please tell me
on what grounds

your nephew was appointed
as the new graphic designer?

He's not my nephew.

He's a son of my very distant cousin
on the side of my...

I don't think it even has a name.

I don't know what they call
a cousin's son.

- Me neither.
- I'm only asking,

is he a relative of yours?

- He is.
- That's the point. Thank you.

Are you sure he was the best candidate?

From what I know,
you received 1200 applications

from bona fide graphic designers.

Not one was better than your nephew,
who's unemployed?

When there are over 1000 candidates,

each with a similar CV,
it's hard to pick the best one.

If you are unable to decide

which one is the best,

maybe you're no good?

The point is I've chosen the best one.

He has a good work ethic.

During his studies
he won several graphic design contests.

I consider it pure nepotism.

- I beg your pardon?
- Are you familiar with the word?

I am.

At least that's settled. Thank you.

What about this?

MAREK N. INVOLVED IN A SCANDAL

You cut off a poor household's
power and water

and raised the rent.

This is complete nonsense.

I haven't cut off anything.

I said I'd do it
if they didn't pay the bill.

Have you raised the rent by 300 percent?

Yes or no?

I should have raised it by 500 percent.

What difference does it make?

- They're behind on the rent.
- I don't care.

You raised the rent. They're poor.
Those are the facts.

They aren't poor.
They're on the dole and work illegally.

They sell
anything they can get their hands on.

What else can they do?
They have no other options.

But they are very well off
and have a great future ahead of them.

You are a very cynical man.
I won't let this stand.

I recorded our conversation.
I'll send it to a TV reporter.

- That's very nice of you.
- Thank you.

Goodbye.

The red ones. Or maybe the blue ones?

- Are you from the TV?
- Yeah. Agent Mizera, CBA.

On the ground.

Look for the briefcase.

There's no briefcase here. It's a mistake.

Listen, mister, we don't make mistakes.

My office is a mess. I demand an apology.

- On the ground.
- Yes, sir.

I'll put you on speakerphone.
Act as if nothing happened.

Good morning, Marek.
Remember me? Alan Ogórek speaking.

You told me to get back to you
when I earn my first million.

Help me!

Marek, help is on the way.

I'll make you rich.

- Save me!
- I'm coming! It's a limited offer.

Asshole! Stop bugging people.

But this one is...

Wait till I get my hands on you!

You'd rather get your hands
on the offer.

I'll you call later. I'm in a tunn...

He hung up.

I promised my wife
I wouldn't swear at work.

Sweetie, where's the briefcase?

I can't hear you.

- I don't know.
- Speak up!

I don't have it.

ABW! Captain Skowron, freeze!

- Niewiadomski?
- What’s this all about?

- You're under arrest.
- No kidding.

- Find the briefcase.
- Stop! It's our investigation!

- CBA has priority.
- Over other women.

This is an ABW investigation.

Not ABW! CBA!

ABW!

CBA!

Guys!

Police! Anna Iza Maria Bąk!

Junior inspector. What's going on?

Hi, Marian.

- Why were you arrested?
- Because of you.

I'm sorry.

No worries, it's the third time this year.

I found the briefcase.

We were here first. We'll take care of it.

It's ours!

I'm the ranking officer!

I'll open it.

Save your orders for others.
I'm in charge here.

And I'll open this briefcase!

Look for another one.

- Find it!
- There's nothing here.

In that case...

We're sorry for the inconvenience.
The police will handle it.

You should take the blame.

Since it's a mishap,

be so kind and uncuff me and my friend.

Of course, please excuse
my colleagues' overzealousness.

Let's take it outside.

I'm very sorry.

No problem.

Remember, it's the ABW's fault.

- ABW, right?
- Of course.

- Apologize.
- Sorry.

Just remember who assaulted you first.

- CBA. I'm deeply sorry.
- It happens.

- You're coming with us.
- I'm innocent!

- To the emergency room.
- Oh...

Marek, are you all right?
The professor is here.

Marek?

Can we talk?

I'm sorry, Professor...

The secret service dropped by unannounced.

What did they want?

Who the hell knows? And before that
I was harassed by a journalist.

So it begins.
You'll have to get used to it.

I'd rather not.

Have you ever been to Mauritius?

No.

Have you ever seen a million in cash?

- No.
- Professor...

The offer has been settled.

Fair and square.
That's the best I could do.

I'm no good for this job.

Why is that?

Your project is excellent.
The prime minister is fond of you.

New challenges are ahead.
Just think of all you could achieve.

Thank you, but no.

I'm a simple man. I can't do this.

Do what you like,
just think about it first.

I don't know...

I plan on going back to my old job.

I don't want to get hurt again.

Good morning, here is the latest news.

The biggest scandal seen in recent years.

The Ministry of Environmental Protection
is corrupt.

Businessman Zdzisław O. denies

that Deputy Minister Roman C.
was his guest in Mauritius.

in exchange for favorable settlement
of the bid offer.

Any comment on Mauritius? Please.

Well, it's slander.

I love Poland. I've never ordered
cheese and potato dumplings

because they remind me of Stalin.
And you ask me about Mauritius?

So you don't fly to Mauritius
with your contractors?

Do I look like the Flying Dutchman?

Besides, what's the fuss
about Mauritius?

Burned grass, wormy coconuts,
water too warm to cool off

or have a nice swim.

Come on, Mauritius is a beautiful island.

It's way overrated.

I enjoy the Polish seaside the most.

- So you deny the accusations?
- It's slander.

Biased, hideous slander.

Your assistant has a nice tan.
Has she been on vacation lately?

She's addicted to the tanning bed.
It's a nasty habit, hard to get rid of.

Roman C. You know him, right?

- Is he a fan of tanning beds too?
- I've seen him

once or twice in my life.
He suffers from depigmentation.

It's an allergic reaction to a shower gel.

- How come?
- It simply is.

In the evening, before his bath,
he was white as a miller's child,

and in the morning
he was as black as Obama.

Excuse me, we're in a hurry.

- Thank you.
- Goodbye.

Breaking news!
Corrupt practices in the ministry.

As we've learned,
well-known businessman Lech P.

was arrested by CBA
during a bribery attempt.

Is it true that you attempted
to bribe Roman C.?

I've only attempted
to give flowers to my wife.

Are you sure?

CBA found several briefcases
packed with money. One of them is yours.

I'm absent-minded,
I lose things all the time.

It's a medical issue, not a crime.

It's odd that you lose
large sums of money all the time.

It must be Alzheimer's disease.
It's in the genes, I can't help it.

You wouldn't expel
a dyslexic student from school, would you?

If it's medically proven, then you don't.

And who decides on that?
The post office?

- I have a medical certificate.
- On you?

Signed by Dr Kamiński.
I have severe Alzheimer's.

- Happy now?
- He has been charged with corruption.

Several briefcases filled with money
have been found at his practice.

He treats many patients with Alzheimer's.
No wonder they forget their stuff.

Where did you get all that cash?

I don't remember, my dear.

Hello, Marek. Do you remember Mr. Pazerny?

I represent his interests now.

I've heard
you'll be back in the game soon.

- You are to become a minister again.
- I don't quite follow.

A fair offer. Handing in resignation.
They value such people.

You shall allot
many bids in the future.

- What are you talking about?
- Marek, let's be friends.

Your wife must be delighted. Goodbye.

What's that?

Marek!

We're rich!

See?

The world is ours!

Hawaii, Bahamas, Las Vegas.

Shopping on Rodeo Drive.
The world is our oyster!

- Renata, put it down at once!
- Why?

Quickly. Renata, I know.

Bahama, Hawaii, shopping.

Rodeo Drive. I'll go anywhere with you,
but we're not paying with this money.

What are you saying? Marek!

- I picked up a delivery.
- What?

A million zloty.
I don't know who sent it.

And I don't care. I'm keeping the money!

Renata, you're very intelligent

and sensitive. You know
where the money came from, right?

Give it back.

All of it.

Good.

Marek!

Excuse me, sir.

- It's a mistake.
- What's wrong?

Wrong address.

You lost five zloty.

- Keep it for good luck.
- Thank you.

- I have another package for you.
- No, thanks.

From the office.

Oh.

- Here you go. Goodbye.
- Bye.

National Treasury. Geo Pro Lab Company.

Prize of 1,5 million zloty
for an innovative project...

One and a half million zloty?

- Where are you going?
- It's over.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

But...

Maybe it's for the best.

At last, everything has fallen into place.

I've made the right choices.

Haven't I?

Cut!