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APRIL 1979 - WESTERN SAHARA NEAR BIR ANZARANE

Is your mum home?

Are you ready?

Time to go now.

Jesus, the Son of God,

came down to Earth and suffered to atone for your sins.

You're in trouble too.

I don't mind if you're around.

The same boy, 30 years on...

I didn't thank you for what you did.

You showed a lot of guts.

You looked good, awfully good.

I guess I'm in love with you.

- You'll come to the police? - I can't.

Why not?

What if I said I killed Sean Regan?

You'd tell the police that?

If you take me there.

I'm not going to.

Look, angel, I'm tired. My jaw hurts and my ribs ache.

I killed a man back there and stood by while some kid was killed.

All because Geiger tried to throw a loop over Carmen?

The cops would swarm your house so fast

the place would look like a police convention.

Maybe they can cure her again.

We'll tell your father about Regan. He can take it.

You forget one thing.

Me.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing you can't fix.

MICMACS

If I operate, he could become a vegetable.

If I don't, he could die any second.

Better to live and risk sudden death than live with no idea you're alive.

You should have studied philosophy.

Anyone got a coin?

Heads.

OK, leave it in. He'll drive airport security wild.

They changed the lock.

Good Lord, they did a hatchet job on your hair!

Where's my stuff?

I put it in the basement

but folks only left a few odd socks.

That's my hat.

Bazil!

Bazil, dear!

For you. It fell off the truck. 100% cotton.

You have work. You'll soon find a place.

Is Serge here?

Hey, Bazil! That was a pretty close call.

- I nearly died. - Still, I hope you're bullet-proof now.

Here I am... Loyal to my post.

Your post's here but maybe it's not so loyal.

I had to replace you.

Meet Lola.

She's on a 3-month try-out.

An open-ended contract.

Let's not get emotional. See you around.

Mr Bazil! Ignore him.

I have a boyfriend. His name's Ricardo.

Ricardo picks me up every night on his motorbike.

He parks right there

where you got shot.

One day, heading home...

we heard this sound like a stone caught in the tire.

Mr Bazil, it wasn't a stone.

Pick a hand.

Make an effort.

With her head under her toes, and her feet in her nose

Between the sheets, she does such feats

She goes into a spin, looking mighty thin

Then without a care, her legs in her hair

She rolls up, the tease, and nibbles her knees

That elastic gal

You can go wild with her, pal

Sweeter than a femme fatale

She's quite a sight, twisting left and right

That elastic gal

Got a sec?

I spent 3/4 of my life in jail.

My friends call me Slammer.

I'm Bazil.

I know. You have a slug in your brain-box.

You've been on the street two months, getting by.

People who stay on track have a goal. What's yours?

I live day to day.

The bullet could make my brain pop any second.

The widow-maker jammed on me.

The guillotine, back in '59.

The blade got stuck and just nicked my hide.

It only ever happened twice. I was pardoned.

You need to get that bullet out.

Can't, the surgeon said so...

Follow me. I know a family who'll adopt you.

That's Max. This is his yard.

In return, we guard the temple at night.

If thieves show up...

Go on in, kid.

Come on, don't be shy.

Let me introduce you.

She decides whom we recruit.

- So, stray bullets come your way? - Yes, ma'am.

The name's Mama Chow.

Here, we salvage gear, sort it and fix it.

Everyone pitches in.

Even Tiny Pete.

Even though he's a real artist.

We bring him anything he can use.

59...

42...

104...

Spot on!

Calculator. Her dad was a surveyor, her mum a seamstress.

She can eye you and size you.

"Eye you and size you."

A white man eyes you and sizes you,

he's no pushover, gets in a tizzy and changes like the weather.

"Eyes you and sizes you." Note taken.

He was an ethnographer in Congo.

Buster...

That's my name.

I have carbon fibre staples in my lungs.

He burst a lung in a hot-water bottle exploding contest.

Plus a dynamo in my stomach, iron filings in my gut

and a titanium tube in my neck.

Go on, hit me there.

Hit me, it's titanium!

- Hit him! - Go on!

His goal is the Guinness Book of Records.

I was in there in '77. 212 meters.

The human cannonball record!

We never saw the certificate.

It got stolen, I told you.

Are you trying to get me mad?

Now you're one of the family

get me a small pot of fresh cream from the fridge.

Lower, son.

Seen a ghost?

She's got a short fuse but she'll bend over backwards for us.

A contortionist?

No, I'm the veggie drawer!

She was born that way.

When her dad beat her, she'd hide in the cooler.

And he spent so long in clink without shoelaces

he can't even tie them anymore.

Mashed potatoes are ready!

Can I help you?

Yes, I'd like to see Mr De Fenouillet, please.

Do you have an appointment?

I have something in mind that concerns him.

If it's a project or an idea, you should write first.

I could send him my CAT scan but I'd rather see him in person.

- You're leaving right now. - Yes. Watch out!

Watch out!

Throw the clown out.

A bullet in his head?

Something to remember us by!

Guys, I need a hand here!

We are now world leaders in the field of fragmentation bombs.

Our position in Gulf nations is four times greater

and we've lowered collateral damage between 7 and 9%.

As you know, we're not monsters.

We don't want anyone dead.

We know a wounded soldier costs the enemy more than a dead one.

Our CBS 87 scatters 202 projectiles

and clears the equivalent of four soccer fields.

We were present in the Gulf, in Kosovo

in Afghanistan.

It's now time to call to the podium the mastermind behind this success,

our Chief Executive Officer, François Marconi!

Bravo!

Thank you!

Thank you all!

Our tracer bullets, explosive and armour-piercing bullets

are the sharpest, most destructive and most effective!

Rimbaud was a poet who became an arms dealer.

I'll do the exact opposite.

However, until it's time to retire

I'll continue to associate ambition and ammunition

so our sales go out with a bang!

Long live VDA!

Goodbye, Mr President.

General, I'll see you soon.

Joseph, good night!

Let me remind you

of this season's new rule.

An anti-personnel mine is hidden somewhere in the ground.

An extra element of suspense

courtesy of the French Soccer League.

Suspense was short-lived tonight

as the away team's striker, Sylvestre, has just found it.

- A fine speech, sir. - Thank you, Georges.

Rimbaud, an arms dealer... Is that a historical fact?

Absolutely. He still died of gangrene, with an amputated leg.

Baudelaire had syphilis?

Verlaine had the DTs, Lorca was shot,

Nerval hung himself from a lamp-post.

I'd never encourage my kid to become a poet.

Urbain, wake me at 10 tomorrow.

Very good, sir.

How long have you been working for us?

30 years next month.

How about redecorating to mark the 30 years?

We'll put in some hi-tech gear.

You know, a leopard can't change its spots.

Well, change your sweater.

Once every 30 years at least.

He sleeps at the foot of the bed.

40 years of griping...

Birds of a feather... Right, Granny?

You old fart!

Did your day go well?

- Yes, Daddy. - I was brilliant.

I made a good speech. I compared myself to Rimbaud.

Know who he is?

You need to work out.

Not Rambo, sweetheart. Rimbaud.

- Teeth, then bed. - Very good, sir.

A good day in Paris.

Up 0.7 in London...

Just a second. How did you get this number?

Yes, I see.

We can't do this deal by phone.

No, not at all.

A public place.

I don't know...

Wednesday at 3 at the sports department.

Sure.

Belgian waffles!

Don't eat too many. I put rum in the batter.

Hurry, kids, or they'll all be gone!

Mr Buster?

Is this you in the Guinness Book of Records?

Holy Moses!

The '77 edition!

What did I tell you?

"On July 14, 1977, Théodore Henri from Montreuil..."

Who's Théodore Henri? Who?

"...shatters Maurice Ronchon's human cannonball record by 9 meters."

Well?

Shatters it by 9 meters!

Well?

I'm keeping it.

- No... - Yes, I'm keeping it.

No...

- I'm keeping it! - Sign my T-shirt then.

T. Henri... Thierry Henri!

Buster, I have a job for you.

I won't worm it out of him

but, as sure as guns, something's in the air.

Got something up your sleeve?

He's going all mysterious on us.

We don't care, we're not that curious.

What time?

Tomorrow at 10, by Sacha Guitry's grave.

Mr Marconi?

I'm Omar Boulounga's envoy.

Omar Boulounga? The former dictator of...

The former and future dictator. A revolution is in the works.

I don't do politics.

We need assault rifles, grenades and land mines.

What about the Arms Commission and the Ottawa Treaty?

You have everything in stock.

Plus an export channel via Zambia.

We're interested.

So what's in it for me?

Do the math

and we'll double it in cash, then diamonds if we succeed.

Go on.

He'll nationalise the diamond mines

once he is in office.

Think of something, fast!

Zebras, that's it!

Are they white with black stripes or vice versa?

And pygmies... Are there any pygmy midgets?

How tall are they?

Why is it CIA and not CAI?

Or FBI and not FIB?

Think it over but hurry.

We fly back to Conakry on Monday.

You!

Yes, you!

I don't know what you're up to

but either you leave and make it alone

or you stay and ask us to help.

Is that clear?

Would anyone like to help me?

To do what?

I know who made my bullet and who killed my dad.

I'd like to get them both, but I can't do it alone.

"United we stand!"

That tall guy is the lookout.

The fellow with the hat is the dealer.

The smack's hidden in the janitor's mailbox.

That way, if they get grabbed, they're innocent as lambs.

Let's go.

Ever punched a sucker and done a sucker-punch?

You're an old-timer!

What is it?

Asbestos and lead inspection. May we come in?

There's no asbestos here!

Asbestos can be right under your noses.

We've toiled since the crack of dawn.

So don't kick up a stink.

The widow-maker still haunts me.

Wherever I go, she casts her shadow over me.

Hats off to you!

My receipt!

The more you drink, the straighter you stand!

The charter flight check-in, please.

Brother!

Want a magic necklace for protection?

Peccary beak powder against the evil spirits in the sky.

You're the boss. The Commander!

Commander, get something.

Youza-youza incense to conjure up the dead...

Leave the passengers alone!

I've told you 100 times!

You've been warned! Get lost!

Sorry, gentlemen. Have a pleasant flight.

At your service.

Excuse us...

- Hello. - We want the flight to America.

The departure hall?

Yes, we're on our way to Manhattan

to see my son.

You have to check in first.

This young lady here is the half-sister

of my son who left for New York in 1989.

1988.

December 12, 1988.

There's so much to do before you leave.

You run here and there...

Tino Rossi's vertebra.

Winston Churchill. Nail clippings.

A molar from Marilyn...

Monroe.

The foot of Salmanasar I.

The heart of Louis XVI.

Matisse's finger.

Mussolini's eye...

Not a chance!

Once the Arms Commission starts work, we call the Saudis.

Yes, he's a pretty intelligent guy.

We won't give them the source codes.

Does it work?

Remember the market in Sarajevo.

Collateral damage is always a bonus when it comes to the media.

Of course...

That's what I keep saying.

You and I

work for the defence industry,

not for the attack industry.

Certainly, my dear fellow, you're always welcome.

My best to your wife.

5PM AT THE TRAIN BLEU. MUSSOLINI'S EYE IS HERE.

We're 10 minutes late. Step on it.

- What's wrong, Maurice? - Etienne, sir.

I think we have a flat. I'm sorry, I'll just check.

Peasant...

Hello. I have a booking in the name of De Fenouillet.

Yes, you're expected.

I'm Mr De Fenouillet's right-hand man.

He's no longer interested in Mussolini's eye.

But if you can get Achilles' heel or Adam's apple, he's your man.

One, two, three... Testing...

I'm Omar Boulounga's envoy.

Make me an offer.

Let's not put the cart before the horse

if we're barking up the wrong tree.

If you have Mussolini's eye, I'll pay Sotheby's price

for Marilyn's molar. It's a fair deal.

Matisse's finger and Churchill's nail clippings

cost less than half that. What do you say, Mr Lazare?

Something came up and Mr Lazare left.

Mr Lazare has left you in the lurch

to keep his home fires burning.

Who are you?

I'm Omar Boulounga's envoy.

Boulounga?

I thought...

He'd gone legit? No way!

A revolution...

A revolution will soon render unto Omar that which is Omar's.

- I don't do politics. - You should.

As your bread and butter.

Twice that in cash, then in diamonds

if the usurper takes to his heels and Boulounga takes the reins again.

When, how and where?

Tuesday 27, one of your men goes alone

to the Gare de I'Est at 2:45pm with the samples.

He'll buy a ticket for Crécy-la-Chapelle.

He'll get a 30% down payment in cash.

In the coin of the realm.

- Well? - She's patching me through.

Marconi? Omar Boulounga here.

Have you thought it over?

Bravo. There are no flies on you!

We might not set the world on fire

but it's hard to pull the wool over our eyes.

Anyway, send a man with the samples

to the Gare de I'Est at 2:45pm tomorrow.

Tell him to buy a ticket for La Ferté Millon.

He'll get a down payment for our order.

Is that clear? OK, bye!

Ready, boys?

What do you mean, "boys"?

Things are gonna heat up.

So no girls?

Theoretically.

But you're not a real...

A real what?

A real girl, is that it?

- I didn't mean that. - Yes, you did!

- I didn't. - Yes, you did!

You meant somewhere between a bad girl and a tomboy.

That's what you meant!

But when I squeeze into a suitcase, I'm welcome to the club!

Ladies and gentlemen, arms dealers are at work in this station.

Careful.

Do not buy land mines from unauthorised vendors.

You could be committing an offence.

Thank you for listening.

What's this?

1.72 kilos of steel, 350 grams of polycarbonate,

70 grams of Kevlar.

Isn't this a little Uzi?

No, it's a MAC 10, or even 11.

Step on it and it'll ruin your foot!

Or your life.

We won't recycle that! It's not for us, guys!

It's not scrap, it fell off a tank!

Confiscated!

Fool around and it'll end in tears!

Or we play Scarface and head for Chicago.

Stage 2, Remington?

Strike while the iron's hot. Line up beneath the banner!

De Fenouillet, Boulounga here. Your man never turned up.

- The deal's off. - The deal's null! Void!

VDA made a better offer.

Kiss the diamonds goodbye and the caviar on your toast too.

Marconi for Omar Boulounga.

Make it a bit more serious.

Marconi? Boulounga is mad as hell!

Your mercenary skedaddled with the samples!

The deal is rescinded. ADA are much better clients.

Take that as said!

Mama Chow, I need to go out for an hour or two.

They're hooked!

I'm just showing them the bait for now, making the spoon sparkle.

But once they bite, I'll need all hands

to haul in the big catch.

So what do we do now?

Twiddle our thumbs?

We have to focus our gaze.

No, not gays... Our gaze.

I mean, come on...

I need volunteers for the rooftops.

Thanks, Calculator. I can count on those who count.

- Going somewhere? - Where you're going.

Sorry, I have a sensitive matter to take care of.

I'd rather go alone.

OK, I get it.

Because when it comes to delicacy and even subtlety...

...this gentleman's an expert.

The Porn Diva... You'll love this.

It barely covers your toy box.

It's a bit big... But you can use it as a nightshirt.

I sleep in the nude.

Henri is spelled with a Y.

Not an I.

You sure? Thierry Henri...

Thierry Henri got his name wrong?

Don't worry about it, kid.

I'm always ready to dip my wick.

That's all set then.

- Bye. - See you tonight.

Well?

You were fishing for sharks

not alley cats or horndogs.

We're not married.

No, we're not married.

I'm not into perverts like you.

And I'm not into contortionists.

Mum always told me to avoid twisted girls.

I'm not twisted!

I'm a sensitive soul in a flexible body.

It's different.

- Listen up! - No, you listen, bozo!

I spit on your petty scams.

Put Boulounga's diamonds where the sun doesn't shine!

You want to play dumb? What about the Assyrian royal relics?

The pillaging of the Baghdad museum? I have the evidence here!

If you want war, think twice!

After a fast-track divorce

you don't hook up

with the Prime Minister's wife.

I have a file on you too!

How about that?

Our grandparents did it in the dark, in pyjamas.

If you're going to do it in front of everyone

it could be a bit more..."spectackler",

a bit more creative, a bit more flexible. Right?

Bazil!

Let's go.

Tell me...

I'm not too girly to play fiddler on the roof?

The thing is, we needed somebody...

Speak up!

We needed somebody like you, both feline and feminine.

- Marignan? - 1515.

- Nagasaki? - 17 kilotons.

Kiss!

Something unusual happened during the night, sir.

Goddammit!

- Let's go, Maurice. - Etienne, sir.

Delivery for Mr De Fenouillet.

You're out of luck. He just left.

- Leave it with me. - It's a bit heavy.

Come on in.

7 meters 50. Four sections.

That elastic gal

You can go wild with her, pal

Sweeter than a femme fatale

She's quite a sight, twisting left and right

That elastic gal

Peckerhead!

Hands washed?

Let me see.

You've got a nerve!

Move it!

No laughing at the table!

How's it going with the warmongers?

They're hooked. We can reel them in. Get the net ready.

All the mothers who lose kids because of those mines...

Know Mama Chow's story?

She had two girls.

One night, at the fairground, she saw them enter the mirror maze.

They never came back out.

She searched the streets for years

and ended up homeless.

Afterwards, because of all that, she adopted us.

Enough of your whispering!

What do you think of my stew?

Lipids 62%, protein 4%, carbs 7%...

Give her a break.

To make a stew like this, you have to be a black belt cordon bleu!

Oh, come on...

Don't exaggerate.

Got a recipe for your big fish?

Fish balls, after we put them through the mincer!

Through the mincer!

No regrets, Buster?

No, he has no regrets.

Let's launch Buster into the dumpster!

Calculator?

Distance: 138 meters. Wind speed: 12 km per hour.

South-southwest.

- Weight of projectile? - 76 kilos.

- Sure! Add 4. - That's Mama Chow's fault.

OK, call it 80.

What did you eat?

Toast: 70 grams. Butter: 37 grams. Jam...

That's enough! Get ready!

Remington...

For the certification...

Action!

We should get started.

No, it's too soon. Too soon!

59...

58...

57...

56...

55 seconds...

What happened?

Come on...

It's salvaged gear. It can't be perfect.

Slammer!

You old bastard!

It's salvaged gear!

Fire!

Look out!

No more battery?

- It's salvaged gear. - Salvaged?

I broke the altitude record! It can't be certified!

- Hold your horses. - What?

Don't haul me over the coals!

It's not the end of the world! No more battery!

Never touch the goods, that was the rule. We'll nuke him.

- That's her. - Code 5. No holds barred.

Mrs Cissé, hygiene technician?

Your husband has a problem.

What's wrong?

Your husband's ashamed. He lost your residence permits.

We can get them replaced.

I already tried. I called Edouard Mangin,

my friend and chief of police.

But your file has vanished.

But I swear...

Why are you doing this?

Who are you?

A shareholder in the company where your husband works.

Since our business has ties to National Defence...

Then again we're thinking of your children.

I could always try to persuade my friend Mangin.

I'm seeing him tomorrow night.

What do you think?

Show it to her.

ADA has the exact same machine. Do you know where it is?

It should be installed opposite an outward-facing plastic curtain,

like that one.

We do that so the blast is directed outwards if ever...

The operator works from behind that armour-plated door.

Lunchtime would be ideal

when the machine's on hold. Is that possible?

- What do I do? - Hardly anything.

Just unscrew this plastic tube and drop the steel ball in the hole.

Then screw the tube back on.

- It could be dangerous. - Just like going back to Somalia.

Where did I put it?

Don't dust under there, you're overdoing it!

Can you come here a minute?

I can't park there with a load like that.

This won't take long.

DANGER: EXPLOSIVES

Holy mackerel!

It's odd. Usually he lets me know.

In his dad's day, you wouldn't have gotten in.

- Nothing to sign? - No.

Thank you.

What does stuff to blackmail someone look like?

It can be a video, a recording, an envelope, photos...

It can be anything, anywhere.

Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Zilch...

Where's the box?

I don't get it. He left it here.

The nanny put it away.

No nanny today. Your son's with his mother.

His mother?

That's right. Check every floor and get that box back.

- I swear it was here. - I understand!

That sweater...

...at ADA this afternoon, causing a huge amount of damage.

There were no fatalities.

The origin of the blast is being investigated.

The company's CEO, Nicolas Thibault De Fenouillet

has been involved in several cases of misuse of funds

but acquitted each time.

I defy anyone to provide a shred of tangible evidence!

It's a scandal! A scandal!

More news on LCI...

Calm down! Deep breaths...

Mind exercise. Vital questions...

Number 12.

Who invents funny stories?

Number 27. Why is your destination always in the map's fold?

Number 62. How many feet does it take to wear down a step?

The company's CEO, Nicolas Thibault De Fenouillet

has been involved in several cases of misuse of funds

but acquitted each time.

You wanted war...

Here comes a blitz!

- Now, sir? - Go ahead.

- Go! - Go!

Well?

You thought we'd rot in jail?

You got how much to bring us down?

Exercise number 8: Money.

Bread, beans, dough, gravy, loot,

moolah, cash, gelt, mazuma, lucre, berries!

You know, I came here to teach you a lesson

but these clowns have given me another idea.

What?

You'd never dare risk it.

Risk what?

We both refused to sell arms to rebels plotting a coup.

They blew up ADA to get revenge, then came after you.

We rushed to your rescue.

- Right, Libarski? - Only we got here too late.

Bummer.

Wait!

I'll give you the tape, all the proof.

The looting of the Baghdad museum.

Take it and go. Leave me alone.

That won't be enough.

Cut the crap!

OK, I shouldn't have sabotaged your plant.

Forget the stolen shells.

What shells?

The truck of shells.

He had a truck of shells stolen!

- Was that us? - No, it wasn't.

See, it wasn't us.

The shells weren't me.

I'd say it was probably them.

Yes, it had to be them.

It's him.

It's him!

He was spotted on security tapes

pretending to be a waiter!

I thought he was with you!

I think we both got screwed. What a goddamn mess!

Who do you work for?

Let's just say I'm freelance.

I have a love-nest on the Left Bank. Let's grill him there.

My limo's outside.

About time!

You're running late, guys. They aren't the problem now.

He is!

Aeschylus died when a tortoise

hit him on the head.

Lully got gangrene, beating time to music.

Barbarossa drowned in a river after forgetting to remove his armour.

And I'm going to die of fright like the fool that I am.

Slammer!

Plan B!

Emergency!

Pont de Crimée! Terminus!

Hop on!

240... 230...

220... 210...

90... 70...

Go!

Dump the trash!

Oh, bugger!

Refuse pick-up!

You're getting our goat!

Your goose is cooked. Your number's up.

Here comes the sun!

Time for a North African break!

Great landing, Slammer. Thanks a lot.

- It's... - Salvaged gear!

Again...

Again!

Seen this before?

How about you?

Does this ring a bell?

Don't move.

You want a ransom?

Name your price. We can pay!

The French President is a friend!

Get rid of this grenade. It's ludicrous!

We can call him. You'll see, he'll pay.

Speak clearly, moron!

What do you want?

Forgive us...

Forgive us for your children.

That's right. Forgive us.

For all the women raped in dirty wars.

I only sell arms to people who fight clean wars!

Sure! You're still selling land mines on the sly!

- I'm all for terrorism! - Me too.

The 300 dead in the Ankara Boeing!

The explosive was mine!

When you were in short pants, I was supplying arms

to the ETA and the IRA!

How about Darfur? Where do they get their arms?

What? You stole that deal?

Peasant!

You want a ransom?

Name your price. We can pay!

When you were in short pants, I was supplying arms

to the ETA and the IRA!

What do you want?

SEND TO ALL CONTACTS

I only sell arms to people who fight clean wars!

Everyone go to YouTube and type "arms dealers fooled."

The 300 dead in the Ankara Boeing! The explosive was mine!

The French President is a friend!

Forgive us for all the women raped in dirty wars.

I only sell arms to people who fight clean wars!

Take a look at this!

When you were in short pants, I was supplying the ETA and the IRA!

How about Darfur? Where do they get their arms?

Mr Marconi!

The share price has crashed...

You're facing a 15-year sentence...

You've lost custody...

How close are you to the Prime Minister's wife?

De Fenouillet, abandoned by his political friends

even by the French President,

has fled to an unknown destination.

ADA will close down any day now.

"The warmongers out of the picture

"Bazil, proud as a peacock, beat his breast and made amends

"while the Gal stopped nitpicking and got off her high horse.

"No need to be a rocket scientist

"to see they were making sheep's eyes at each other

"and it was clear as crystal that they were now as thick as thieves."