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1
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,987
♪
2
00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:07,506
(crows cawing)
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,843
Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy,
this is a great booking.
4
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,345
Don't bubbeleh me, boychik.
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,406
Entertaining the kids at
Kelly Clarkson's housewarming.
6
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:19,576
It's not my fault you lost
all your money on NFTs--
7
00:00:19,578 --> 00:00:21,687
non-funny TV shows.
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,523
Now get to work,
you're behind on your Cameos.
9
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,099
(groans)
10
00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,934
Hey, hey, Jacob!
11
00:00:27,936 --> 00:00:31,530
Your dad's super-sad he couldn't
make it to your bar mitzvah.
12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,106
It's a real shonda.
13
00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:37,127
Also, all the best
from Dad's new wife, Shonda.
14
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:40,855
(laughing)
15
00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,708
Oh...
16
00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,694
Thank you so much
for doing this, Krusty.
17
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,213
Kelly really appreciates it.
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,624
And the children are all
huge fans. Right, kids?
19
00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:53,719
-Mm-hmm.
-Totally.
-Yeah, we love you, Crisco.
20
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,429
(groans)
21
00:00:56,724 --> 00:01:00,300
Oh, what's that Kelly Clarkson
got that I don't?
22
00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:03,729
We all won singing contests
20 years ago.
23
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:07,066
Oh, where's my infinity toilet?
24
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:10,385
Oh, that toilet isn't
from American Idol money.
25
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:12,145
You're looking
at daytime-syndicated
26
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,146
talk show wealth.
27
00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,815
See those mega mansions?
28
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,317
Well, they belong to
the superstars of daytime TV:
29
00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,394
-Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams,
-Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
30
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,154
-and that jerk Doctor Phil.
-(groans)
31
00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:24,825
All bought and paid for
with syndicated megabucks.
32
00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,752
I see something in you, Krusty.
33
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,995
Oh, I was gonna put it back.
34
00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:30,497
You have daytime chops.
35
00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:32,649
There's always a place on TV
for a Regis--
36
00:01:32,651 --> 00:01:35,168
a cranky but lovable,
sexless grandpa.
37
00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:37,471
Yeah, and what makes you
the expert?
38
00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:40,173
(exclaims)
39
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:44,328
Here's the real test.
Get that mom squad dancing.
40
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:47,255
Daytime audiences love to dance.
41
00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,108
Forget it, lady.
I still got my dignity.
42
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,335
-(phone chimes)
-Hey, wait.
43
00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:52,836
Mm...
44
00:01:52,838 --> 00:01:54,279
Hey, hey, Bryson!
45
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,265
Your mom wanted me
to congratulate you on...
46
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,860
getting your braces tightened.
47
00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,028
Make up a rap about it?
48
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,865
(groans)
Look, fine, I'll dance.
49
00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,033
(grumbles)
50
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:10,111
♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪
51
00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,371
♪ With the fur ♪
52
00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:14,541
♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪
53
00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:16,376
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
54
00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,195
-(women whooping)
-♪ Next thing you know ♪
55
00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:21,789
♪ Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low ♪
56
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,959
♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps. ♪
57
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,562
-(Bart and Lisa laughing)-(Santa's Little Helper barking)
58
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,041
What's taking so long?
59
00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,985
All this food I can't eat
is taunting me.
60
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,912
I read that grain-free
is supposed to be good.
61
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:37,214
Or was it grain-full?
62
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,732
Mom, can we get a gecko?
63
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,492
I want a guinea pig.
64
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,810
How about both in one cage,
and see what happens?
65
00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,313
-No, no, no.
-Yeah, please, mom?
66
00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:46,999
-Please, come on,
a gecko and a guinea pig.
-No! Why would we...
67
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,042
(sighs)
68
00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:59,085
Marge, honestly, is this
how you pictured your life?
69
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:01,254
I think not.
70
00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:03,924
Yes, I lick my behind.
Big surprise.
71
00:03:03,926 --> 00:03:05,926
Excuse me, would you
like to come participate
72
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,577
in a focus group?
73
00:03:07,579 --> 00:03:10,022
Yes, anything but this.
74
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,648
(scoffs)
Just pick a food.
75
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:14,401
Oh...
76
00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:20,032
We want to know what you want
in your daytime programming.
77
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,850
There are no wrong answers
and no bad ideas.
78
00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:25,429
In that case, recipes.
79
00:03:25,431 --> 00:03:26,455
Sure.
80
00:03:27,766 --> 00:03:29,099
Air-fryer recipes.
81
00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:30,626
(groans)
82
00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,712
Celebrities come on the show?
83
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,196
Well, yes, obviously, but...
84
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:36,957
Put it on the board, then.
85
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,125
Uh, I was thinking...
86
00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,945
-Something with vacuums.
-(groans)
87
00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:44,097
(both exclaiming)
88
00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:48,301
Shiny coat or liver support?
89
00:03:48,303 --> 00:03:51,021
Why are they doing this to us?
90
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,650
-Hats?
-What about hats, Helen?
91
00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:56,960
Maybe...
92
00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:59,220
babies wearing hats?
93
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:02,148
And it's a whole
baby hat fashion show?
94
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,800
-Exactly. Exactly.
-Oh, yeah, there you go.
-Ooh.
95
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,244
That's not bad.
96
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,729
And you know how
there are just too many
97
00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,564
dog food options these days?
98
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,826
What if you brought out
Instagram dogs
99
00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,995
and had them do a taste test?
100
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,997
Wow!
Well, that's really good.
101
00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:18,815
What other ideas do you have?
102
00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,500
Candle unboxing and sniffing.
103
00:04:20,502 --> 00:04:24,154
Celebrities read nice tweets
about other celebrities.
104
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,598
Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns.
105
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,508
Funny bed-making fails.
106
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:29,584
And...
107
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:33,497
tweens explain TikToks
to carpool moms.
108
00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:34,648
Eh?
109
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,110
You're a natural.
You've got nice ideas
110
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,003
coming out the wazoo.
111
00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:43,006
You know, I'm in the market
for a new segment producer.
112
00:04:43,008 --> 00:04:44,265
You are?
113
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,692
Will you excuse me for a second?
114
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,193
Jerry, you're fired.
115
00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:49,621
I'm... I'm free.
116
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,940
Segment producer?
117
00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:54,293
I don't know.
I-I should probably
118
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:57,337
talk it over with my family.
(gasps)
119
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:04,303
I'll take the job.
120
00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:06,954
Be warned, segment producer.
121
00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:09,641
No one makes it out of these
shows unchanged.
122
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,145
Oh, well, then it's a good thing
I'm not much of a changer.
123
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,981
You can keep your job
or you can keep your soul,
124
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,207
but you can't keep both.
125
00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:19,709
Also, when you
turn in your receipts,
126
00:05:19,711 --> 00:05:22,546
break them down
between dining and mileage
127
00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:25,306
or you'll await
the reimbursements...
128
00:05:25,308 --> 00:05:26,491
forever!
129
00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:35,725
So this is behind the scenes
of a TV show.
130
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:37,894
So much hustle.
131
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:39,421
And bustle.
132
00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,384
Mm... mm.
133
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,070
This is your desk.
134
00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:50,407
And this is where you can pin
all your genius segment ideas.
135
00:05:50,409 --> 00:05:52,184
With five shows a week,
it's very important
136
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,744
that you always
be thinking up segments.
137
00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:55,854
A daytime talk show without
138
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,748
fun and interesting segments
is like a...
139
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:00,750
You, finish my metaphor.
140
00:06:00,752 --> 00:06:02,027
Uh, um...
141
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,363
Get me a baked potato
142
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,865
so I can throw it at your head.
143
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,092
-Now!
-(exclaims, whimpers)
144
00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:12,162
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
145
00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:15,356
(humming a tune)
146
00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,209
Oh, I-I don't need
to order lunch.
147
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,712
My kids packed mine as a
special treat for my first day.
148
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,589
Aw.
149
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:27,794
Hmm. Maybe I will
take a look at that menu.
150
00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:31,464
Can I order you something, um...
What-what's your name?
151
00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,633
Uh, to make it simpler
for the producers,
152
00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:35,185
we're-we're all named Jordan.
153
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,141
I should've ordered some salad
154
00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:44,653
to go with my salad toppings.
(chuckles)
155
00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:48,365
Mm.
156
00:06:52,654 --> 00:06:54,287
Oh.
157
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,064
(laughing)
158
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,417
What the hell is this?
159
00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,493
You people
didn't write me any jokes.
160
00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:03,070
You don't need jokes.
The women in our audience
161
00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,148
are just happy
to be out of the house.
162
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,926
They want to dance to
clean versions of Pitbull songs
163
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,412
and go home with a free copy
of a Real Housewives memoir.
164
00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:13,673
Your only job is just be nice.
165
00:07:13,675 --> 00:07:15,708
It's all about nice.
166
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:18,662
Did you just make eye contact
with the host?
167
00:07:18,664 --> 00:07:20,013
No, I would never!
168
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,014
(growling)
169
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,849
-Aah!
-Oh!
170
00:07:22,851 --> 00:07:26,503
Ladies and gay friends,
I'm MC Hairbone,
171
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:29,339
the funkiest daytime DJ
in the world.
172
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,599
Get on your feet for your
newest, non-threatening-est
173
00:07:31,601 --> 00:07:34,268
king of late morning
or early afternoon
174
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,846
depending on your
local market and time zone:
175
00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,531
Krusty!
176
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,792
-♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪
-(cheering)
177
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,294
♪ With the fur ♪
178
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,538
-♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪
-(grunting)
179
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,540
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
180
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,859
♪ Next thing you know, shawty got low, low ♪
181
00:07:49,861 --> 00:07:52,578
♪ Low, low, low, low, low, low ♪
182
00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:55,957
♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps ♪
183
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,143
-♪ With the straps ♪
-♪ She turned around and gave ♪
184
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,312
♪ That big booty a slap. ♪
185
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,630
(groans)
Look at this.
186
00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:05,484
I already got
a wardrobe malfunction.
187
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,319
(audience laughs)
188
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,321
That's the kind of joke we get.
189
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,492
-Ah.
-♪
190
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,163
Oh, my God,
this is my first segment.
191
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,074
I hope people like it, Jordan.
192
00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:23,226
Look at this guy.
He's saying,
193
00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:26,079
"I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap."
194
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:28,231
(laughing, whooping)
195
00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:30,157
These are my people.
196
00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:32,827
And they're raising the roof
for my idea.
197
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:35,922
Can you believe
we get paid for this?
198
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,699
We don't.
199
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:39,576
(audience cheering, whooping)
200
00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,670
Bart, you're taking this
really well.
201
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,748
I'd have thought
you'd be hatching some scheme
202
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,340
to get the old Krusty show back.
203
00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:47,600
Why would I do that?
204
00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:50,270
I've got my favorite Krusty
episodes right here.
205
00:08:50,272 --> 00:08:52,364
More than 700 of 'em.
206
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,775
Hm, kind of makes you think.
207
00:08:55,777 --> 00:08:58,428
Once you have enough episodes
of any classic show,
208
00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:00,597
why do you need
to keep making more?
209
00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:02,356
Well, the reason is...
210
00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,025
Shh.
Watching classic Krusty.
211
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:06,211
(Krusty the Clown
theme song playing)
212
00:09:08,106 --> 00:09:09,956
Oh, it's just so easy.
213
00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,791
I don't
have to be funny anymore.
214
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,109
I just have to be nice.
215
00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:15,536
It's the greatest grift
I've ever done.
216
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:19,391
(laughs)
I'm gonna go buy some cars.
217
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,876
-Mm...
-You did a great job
today, Marge.
218
00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:25,138
You know, we women have to
stick together in this business.
219
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,307
But I also want you
to never quite be sure
220
00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:28,792
where you stand with me,
and just have
221
00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:32,128
a general sense of unease
about my intentions.
222
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:33,797
Does that make sense?
223
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,465
I think so.
224
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:36,466
Great.
225
00:09:36,468 --> 00:09:38,059
Okay, everybody,
conference room.
226
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,803
Pitch meeting for tomorrow.
227
00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:40,987
You, plaid shirt.
228
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,989
Not you.
Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah.
229
00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:44,490
Bring the binder
of dinner menus.
230
00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:46,567
-♪ Let me talk to 'em ♪
-♪ Come on ♪
231
00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,995
-♪ Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans ♪
-♪ Jeans ♪
232
00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:52,073
-♪ Boots with the fur ♪
-♪ With the fur ♪
233
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:55,093
♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪
234
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,410
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
-♪ She hit the floor ♪
235
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,597
♪ Next thing you know, low ♪
236
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,673
♪ Hey, I ain't never seen nothing that'll make me go ♪
237
00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:02,434
♪ This crazy all night, spending my dough ♪
238
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,436
♪ Had a million-dollar vibe and a body to go ♪
239
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,996
♪ Them birthday cakes, they stole the show, so sexual ♪
240
00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:08,589
♪ She was flexible, professional ♪
241
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,108
♪ Drinking X and O ♪
242
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,684
♪ Hold up wait a minute, do I see ♪
243
00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:14,362
-♪ What I think I, whoa ♪
-♪ Come on. ♪
244
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,265
Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late.
245
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,194
You would not believe
the day I had.
246
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,955
Oh, please, let's eat.
I'm starving.
247
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,032
Oh, but if the bill looks high,
it's because
248
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:28,543
I already ate a full meal here.
249
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,855
And then Krusty
didn't even tell us
250
00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:33,781
he had swapped
the A and B blocks.
251
00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:35,133
I'd already preset
the demo table
252
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,194
for my segment,
"popcorn maker wars."
253
00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:39,638
So, then it's my fault
254
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,956
the "reuniting soldiers
and their dogs" segment
255
00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,700
was such a disaster?
256
00:10:43,702 --> 00:10:46,794
Carla's the one who
turned on the popcorn machines.
257
00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,147
And that's
Hair Department Carla?
258
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,983
No, Hair Department Carla
is blonde.
259
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,060
You know, my day
was pretty crazy, too.
260
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:57,380
Lenny came in this morning
with a ladybug on his shirt,
261
00:10:57,382 --> 00:11:00,383
and we were seeing how long
before he noticed it.
262
00:11:00,385 --> 00:11:02,994
Segment idea:
"Krusty goes blond."
263
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,329
(laughs)
264
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,665
Lenny made it
all the way to lunch
265
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,409
and then the little guy
just fell off on its own.
266
00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,060
(laughs)
267
00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,987
We called him Ladybug Lenny
268
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,822
for the rest of the day!
269
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:16,232
(laughs)
270
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,843
-Ah, ladybugs.
-(phone dings)
271
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,012
Oh, I have to go back
to the office.
272
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,256
The viral skateboard grandma
we booked for tomorrow
273
00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:26,059
has a history of racist tweets.
274
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:30,563
Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet.
275
00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:34,934
Hmm.
276
00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,027
No.
277
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,938
No. Too edgy.
Too soft.
278
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,273
What is this, Corden?
279
00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:41,257
Seen it.
280
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:43,593
Not timely.
Too timely.
281
00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:45,019
Way too soft.
282
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,705
What is this, Fallon?
283
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,765
"Good luck Mom, we love you."
284
00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:50,024
I don't even get this.
285
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,293
Is that all you got?
286
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:54,713
Mm...
287
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:59,625
(sighs) Guys, I know I've been
a little stressed lately,
288
00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:03,463
but it's so nice for us
to all sit down together.
289
00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:06,783
It's okay, Mom.
You're doing your dream job.
290
00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:08,375
Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom.
291
00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:09,894
Now pass the index cards.
292
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,954
The what?
293
00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:12,956
I'm hungry for segments.
294
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:14,791
Aah!
295
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,793
What's the matter,
Marge?
296
00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:18,236
You haven't even touched
297
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,030
your steamed pushpins.
298
00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:24,284
Aah!
299
00:12:25,394 --> 00:12:26,703
(gasps)
300
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,289
(panting)
301
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,126
(exclaims, gasps)
302
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:39,832
(all grunting)
303
00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,667
Aah! Oh!
304
00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:44,179
Eh? (sighs)
305
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,516
(cackling)
306
00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:51,019
Aah!
307
00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:53,605
-(sobbing)
-(whimpering)
308
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,999
(growling)
309
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,518
Mm. Mm...
310
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,336
Look alive, people.
The big boss
311
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:02,188
wants to see everyone
for a meeting.
312
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:05,508
Krusty's here? But we don't tape
for another eight minutes.
313
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,102
I just wanted to tell you
how grateful I am
314
00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:09,454
for all your hard work.
315
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,456
I never knew
doing a television show
316
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,459
could require so little effort
on my part.
317
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,037
If anyone needs anything,
I'll be in my spray tan tent.
318
00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,632
Thanks, Krusty.
You earned it.
319
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:23,526
Back to work. We need
50 branded segment ideas
320
00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:26,954
for Menopause Chapstick and
something called Cereal Wine.
321
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:28,865
(all groan)
322
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:31,534
At this solemn and holy moment,
323
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:33,036
I baptize thee...
324
00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:35,796
(phone clicking, chiming)
325
00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:38,224
(grumbling)
326
00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:40,726
How are we supposed
to do surprise makeovers
327
00:13:40,728 --> 00:13:42,061
on the mailmen you brought in?
328
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:44,063
Every one of them
is already gorgeous.
329
00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:45,990
ALL:
Shh!
330
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,661
Special thanks to
the Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew.
331
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,146
(cheering, applause)
332
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,815
-That was great.
-It was fine.
333
00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:56,075
I mean, look me in the eye
334
00:13:56,077 --> 00:13:59,062
and tell me where the GIF was.
Tell me.
335
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:01,840
Uh, uh, uh, when
the little kid breakdanced.
336
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,341
Um, excuse me, Marge,
337
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,344
there seems to be an emergency
at your house.
338
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,180
What is so important
that you pulled me out of work?
339
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,257
Marge, there's no emergency.
340
00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:13,759
Have a seat.
This is an intervention.
341
00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,595
-(gasps)
-(toilet flushes)
342
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:18,690
I missed the big reveal?
You said I had time.
343
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,433
Midge, go out and come back in.
344
00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:23,027
Aw, nah, forget that.
Who's that even for?
345
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,955
All right, all right,
intervention. And, uh, go.
346
00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:28,091
If this is about
the melatonin gummies,
347
00:14:28,093 --> 00:14:30,259
I can stop whenever I want.
348
00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:31,761
No, Marge.
We're interventioning
349
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,520
you and your whole deal.
350
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:35,373
I never thought
I'd speak ill of TV,
351
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,876
but I think it's destroying you.
352
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,193
(grumbles)
353
00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,879
PATTY and SELMA:
Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,381
Cut to commercial.
355
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,295
Okay, let's make this quick.
Everybody say your little thing.
356
00:14:49,297 --> 00:14:51,372
We're just
worried about you, Marge.
357
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:54,450
Look, even your best friend
Luann is here.
358
00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:55,894
Best friend?
359
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,896
We haven't
had the conversation yet,
360
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,898
but it's unspoken.
361
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,125
Mom, we want to be supportive
of your dreams,
362
00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:05,128
but you just don't
seem to be enjoying it anymore.
363
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,463
Oh, I'm sorry.
364
00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:09,799
Sorry that
you're all so threatened
365
00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,817
by a powerful, successful woman.
366
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:15,396
Lisa, as a feminist, you should
be ashamed of yourself.
367
00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,990
Really?
Just this week the show's done
368
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,476
"sext your way
out of traffic school"
369
00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:24,238
and debuted a new daily segment
called "trends in cleavage."
370
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,592
-When's this show on again?
-(phone dings)
371
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,676
MARGE: Mm?
372
00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:34,490
The Internet's on fire
about our story
373
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:37,251
exposing the toxic
work environment at Krusty.
374
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,938
-Inexcusable.
-I heard they made
all the interns
375
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,181
convert to Judaism
and work on Christmas,
376
00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:44,275
then convert back
and work on Passover.
377
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,427
-(all gasp)
-Mm-hmm.
378
00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,279
(gasps)
This is a disaster.
379
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,265
We can finish
this dumb thing later.
380
00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:54,619
Hmm. So, um,
what's the move here?
381
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,696
Well, is there anything else
we can work on?
382
00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:57,830
Hey Homer, how's the drinking?
383
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,348
Same.
384
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,459
-(indistinct chatter)
-(whimpering)
385
00:16:07,025 --> 00:16:08,449
What the hell is this?
386
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:11,527
For the first time in my life,
I'm not responsible
387
00:16:11,529 --> 00:16:15,047
for a toxic work environment.
I'm barely ever here.
388
00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,866
Physically,
and certainly not mentally.
389
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:18,292
Don't worry, Krusty.
390
00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:21,037
I'm going to find whoever said
it's terrible to work here
391
00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:24,315
and personally bully them until
their hair falls out in clumps.
392
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,560
But what you need now
is a redemption episode.
393
00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:30,154
And I know I speak
for the entire staff when I say
394
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,991
we're willing to pull an
all-nighter to make it happen.
395
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,326
(sobbing)
396
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,995
Aah!
397
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,497
Yeah, and you'll write me
one of those apologies
398
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,390
where it sounds like I'm sorry
but I'm not actually
399
00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:43,559
taking the blame for anything?
400
00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,745
I've done hundreds of these.
It's actually a template
401
00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:47,422
in the software we use.
402
00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:50,341
Uh, what else?
403
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,902
Bart, you got to be addicted
to something by now.
404
00:16:52,904 --> 00:16:54,420
None of your business.
405
00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:56,239
Fair enough.
406
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,074
(distorted):
♪ Shawty had them ♪
407
00:16:58,076 --> 00:17:01,093
-♪ Apple Bottom jeans ♪
-♪ Jeans ♪
408
00:17:01,095 --> 00:17:03,855
♪ Boots with the fur ♪
409
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,098
♪ With the fur. ♪
410
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,417
I was devastated
to learn that our show
411
00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:11,195
has become
a toxic work environment.
412
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,698
Well, even though
I knew absolutely nothing
413
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,368
about what was going on,
the buck stops with me.
414
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,097
And I promise you, I'm going
to take some time to listen,
415
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:25,001
learn, not touch, and listen.
416
00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:29,121
What the hell is this?!
417
00:17:29,123 --> 00:17:31,107
How am I supposed
to do the salad shake
418
00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:33,626
if it's not
in its original container?
419
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:35,053
-(grunts)
-Aah!
420
00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,388
(whimpering)
421
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,223
Oh, my God.
422
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,392
What have I become?
423
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:50,459
I was completely unaware
of the following policies:
424
00:17:50,461 --> 00:17:52,070
if employees see me in my car,
425
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,146
they must lower
imaginary sunglasses
426
00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:56,315
as if impressed and aroused.
427
00:17:56,317 --> 00:17:58,467
Krusty, you don't
need to do this.
428
00:17:58,469 --> 00:18:00,486
-The world
needs to know the truth.
-(phone rings)
429
00:18:00,488 --> 00:18:03,397
It's the system of daytime TV
that's toxic.
430
00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:05,416
It's turned us all into monsters
431
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,159
fueled by stress, gaslighting,
432
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:09,754
and $15 kale Caesar salads.
433
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,239
The pressure to crank out
so much nice
434
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,483
brings out the worst in us.
435
00:18:14,485 --> 00:18:17,670
We just wanted to bring
more nice in the world.
436
00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:19,764
More nice.
437
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,824
Okay, new speech.
438
00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:23,159
This non-apology apology
439
00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:25,752
just became a real apology.
440
00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:26,920
This place isn't toxic
441
00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:29,464
because of whoever this lady is
442
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,442
or "the system."
443
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,019
-It's toxic because of me.
-(audience gasps)
444
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:36,021
I'm a showbiz monster.
445
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:37,931
I'm not nice.
446
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,933
So I'm stepping away
from the show...
447
00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:41,619
forever.
448
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,012
-(gasps)
-Wha?
449
00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:45,898
Krusty. Krusty,
you don't have to do this.
450
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,366
It's not your fault.
451
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,460
Look, lady, I couldn't
agree with you more.
452
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,296
Everyone who works here
except me is nuts.
453
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,299
I just quit because I closed
the deal for a new gig
454
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,451
which makes
daytime talk show money
455
00:18:57,453 --> 00:18:59,786
look like late night
talk show money.
456
00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:01,973
TV judge syndication money.
457
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,366
A judge?
458
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:06,960
Judge Judy is the richest
TV star in the world.
459
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,980
So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty.
460
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,965
I can let my body go,
just sit on my keister
461
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,301
and speak truth
to stupid all day.
462
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:17,822
All right, I got to go
work on my humiliation quips.
463
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,657
You ever do any bailiffing?
464
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,658
Some.
465
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,410
No more show?
466
00:19:23,979 --> 00:19:26,455
I'm... I'm free.
467
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,909
Oh come on,
why would you do that?
468
00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:32,253
Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry.
469
00:19:33,398 --> 00:19:34,821
KRUSTY: Oh, come on.
470
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:36,065
Don't sneeze on my robe
471
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,083
and tell me I'm in a car wash.
472
00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:40,085
Did you fall out
of the stupid tree
473
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:41,995
and land in the idiot mulch?
474
00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:43,830
His quips could use some work.
475
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,424
(laughs)
Mulch.
476
00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,834
Do you ever miss
working in TV, Mom?
477
00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:51,080
There was at least a week there
where you seemed to enjoy it.
478
00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:53,507
Sure, it was
rewarding at first.
479
00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:55,693
But this experience
has made me realize
480
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,922
my real dream job
is producing this family.
481
00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:01,348
And now, as a consultant,
482
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:03,926
I get the best of both worlds.
483
00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,352
(phone rings)
484
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,279
Marge, it's Drew.
I need your help.
485
00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:09,782
I got no A block for tomorrow.
486
00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:11,392
Let me see...
487
00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:13,211
Have you seen the viral grandpa?
488
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,438
The one who raises baby ducks?
489
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,291
Yes, I'm thinking
surprise spa day for him.
490
00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:21,719
And an extreme pond makeover
for the ducks.
491
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,130
Oh, Marge, are you sure
you won't come work for me?
492
00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,873
That's very sweet, Drew,
493
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,227
but my daytime days are over.
494
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,145
-(kids grunting, coughing)
-(sobbing)
495
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,981
Oh...
496
00:20:35,126 --> 00:20:36,550
I'll be in touch.
497
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:38,794
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
498
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,738
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
499
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,481
and TOYOTA.
500
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:43,699
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
501
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:50,081
Here at Segments, we believe
502
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,066
there is life after daytime.
503
00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:55,419
Our patients have suffered
indescribable trauma
504
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,664
from TV hosts
perpetuating the cycle of abuse
505
00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,240
handed down since the days
506
00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,485
of The Mike Douglas Show.
507
00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:05,154
We treat all aspects of PTSD--
508
00:21:05,156 --> 00:21:07,080
post talk show disorder--
509
00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:08,415
compulsive fake laughter,
510
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:10,659
guest cancellation night terrors,
511
00:21:10,661 --> 00:21:12,177
long haul Kelly Ripas...
512
00:21:12,179 --> 00:21:14,438
Lindsey, who are you talking to?
513
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,681
The audience.
514
00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:17,166
I'm warming up the audience.
515
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:18,985
It's all on the teleprompter!
516
00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:21,261
Why don't you just put this on
517
00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,855
for a "who wore it best"
segment?
518
00:21:22,857 --> 00:21:25,658
Mm! (chuckles)
519
00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:31,080
Shh!
39518
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