All language subtitles for The.Agatha.Christie.Hour.S01E03.The.Girl.in.the.Train.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track4_eng

- Buy some flowers,
lovely flowers.

Please your lady
love or the wife.

Oh go on, sir, be a
gent, buy some flowers.

Cheer up the secretary.
- Not now, May,

I haven't time.

Here!

Bit of white heather,
bring you luck.

- I'll need more
than white heather!

- Lucky thing.

Flowers! Lovely flowers!

How about a nice carnation, sir,

or bunch of flowers
for the lady?

Oh, here you are.

- Morning, Mr. George.

Good afternoon.

- Hello, Miss Garstang.

Here I am, ready, willing and--

- Your uncle is asking for you.

- Oh, Lord.

I had sudden influenza.

- No, Mr. George,
that was last week.

- It recurred?

- It recurred last week,
and the week before.

- It was awfully sudden.

- It always is.

Tell your uncle.

Well go on.

And, Mr. George, this morning,

his bark is scarcely audible

because of all the
biting he's been doing.

- Oh, Lord.

It's bad?

- Very.

Hello.

- Good morning, Uncle William.

- Is it?

You wanted to see me?

- Not particularly.

- Oh.

Well, I'll go, then, shall I?

Yes.

- Ah, very well, Uncle William.

Is that the Peruvian
oil wells document?

It is.

- Worth a few bob,
do you suppose?

Much oil in Peru?

Worth our investment?

- Such information
is company business.

To tell an outsider would be to

jeopardize our
position on the market.

- Ah, well then I promise
I shan't breathe a word.

- Get out, George, you're fired.

- Fired?

Uncle William!

- I took you on to work,
not to lounge in at midday.

- There's a perfectly good

explanation for that.
- Out!

- And if you'd care to hear it--

- Get out, George.

Don't make me lose my temper,

don't make me raise my
voice, just get out!

Oh, confound it!

- I say steady on,
remember the old gout.

Out!

Miss Garstang! Out!

Yes, Mr. Rowland?

Miss Garstang,
see that my nephew is paid

until the end of the month.

- I have everything
prepared, sir.

- Jezebel!

- And then do not let him
through these doors ever again.

People who turn up for work
at five minutes before midday

are not welcome in the
firm of William Rowland,

investment broker
to the aristocracy.

Out!

Miss Garstang, as soon as my
nephew's left the premises

I would be grateful if you'd
bring me a dose of bromide

and a cup of your noxious
coffee made black and strong.

- Yes, Mr. Rowland.

- See you tonight,
then, Uncle William?

- If ever I see your face again

I shall not be held
accountable for my actions.

Get out.

Get out!

Out!

Out!

Get out!

- Oh!

Here you are dearie,
beautiful flowers.

Buy a nice buttonhole,
cheer yourself up.

- Now how did you know
I needed cheering up?

- Tell by the way
people walk, love.

- You're absolutely right, May.

You are looking at one
of the great unemployed.

As from five minutes ago,

I am no longer a member
of the firm of W. Rowland,

investment brokers
to the aristocracy.

- Well, never mind, ducks.

With your good looks
you can go to that

there south of France

and be a gigalet to
some rich old dowager.

There you are, dear.

- Thank you, May, how much?

- No, bless you.

Have that one on me.

It's yesterday's stock.

The petals will soon drop.

- Thank you, May.

I say, how about a
bit of white heather?

- Picked it meself this morning.

- Where?

What's it matter as
long as it brings you luck?

- Rogers!

Aw, there you are,
what kept you?

- Good afternoon, sir.

- Good afternoon, Rogers.

- Finished work early, sir?

- Finished is the
operative word, Rogers.

Would you like
a light luncheon, sir?

- No, Rogers, thank you.

Just pack up my
things, will you?

I'm leaving.

- Yes, sir.

Just for a short visit, sir?

- For good, Rogers.

I'm going to the
colonies this afternoon.

- Indeed, sir.

- Yes, that is if
there's a suitable boat.

Will you join me?

- Sir?

Oh, it's very kind of you,
but, no thank you, sir.

- Do you know anything
about boats, Rogers?

Which colony were
you thinking of visiting, sir?

- Oh, I'm not particular.

Any of them will do.

Let's say Australia.

What do you think of
Australia, Rogers?

- Well, sir, I've
certainly heard it said

there's room out there

for anyone who really
wants to work, sir.

- Ah, very neatly put.

Well, then, I shan't
go to Australia, not
today at any rate.

- Had a difficult time
at the office, sir?

- My uncle has fired me, Rogers.

- Yes, sir.

Perhaps a journey a little
nearer to home, sir.

Canada's extremely cold,

South Africa's extremely hot,

India is crowded,

and one has never met anyone

who has survived the
Windward Islands.

- Windward Islands?

No Rogers, of
course you're right.

Fetch me the ABC, will you?

We'll find somewhere a
little closer at hand.

At once, sir.

- Perth.

Too far.

Putney Bridge, too near.

Ramsgate, Reigate.

Why, what an
extraordinary thing.

I actually have a
place named after me.

Rowlands Castle.

Have you ever heard
of it, Rogers?

- I fancy the trains
go from Waterloo, sir.

- What an extraordinary
chap you are, Rogers.

You know absolutely everything.

Well, well.

Rowlands Castle it is, then.

- Very good, sir.

I'll pack country clothes.

- What sort of place
do you think it'll be?

Quiet, I would
expect, sir, very quiet.

You won't require evening dress.

- Why all the better.

There'll be less competition.

The last of the
original Rowlands

ought to meet with
instant approval.

I shouldn't wonder if they
made me mayor in a week.

- Yes, sir.

Your train leaves Waterloo at
five-and-twenty to three, sir.

- First class, sir?

- That's the ticket.

- You sure you want
a slow train, sir?

There's a fast for Portsmouth,
leaves from platform 5,

get you there in no time.

- Ah, but you see I'm
not going to Portsmouth.

- Oh, I see, sir.

- No, I am going
to Rowlands Castle.

Where, sir?

- Rowlands Castle.

Have you never heard of it?

- Only over the
loudspeaker, sir.

That is, when you can
hear anything at all.

Why would you want to go to
a place like that for, sir?

- Because, porter--

- Oh, thank you very much, sir.

- I have never had
anything exciting

happen to me in my life,

and I think it's
about time I started.

- Then go to Portsmouth, sir.

I doubt if anything
happens at Rowlands Castle.

- But the journey is
at least a beginning.

- If you say so, sir.

I say!

- Help me, please!

Please help me!

- Well, of course,
but how can I?

- Hide me!

You must hide me, please!

I say all
right, but where?

- Heavens, he's coming!

I say, who?

- Don't give me away, please.

Why of course not.

- Then close the door.

The door.

The door?

Oh, the door, yes, of course.

- Now act naturally.

Naturally.

- Young man?

- Are you speaking to me, sir?

- Yes.

Young man, what have
you done with my niece?

- I haven't the vaguest idea
what you're talking about.

- The news is good?

- Very.

Gilt Edged are up again.

- You have your papers
upside down, sir.

- I am preparing for a
visit to the Antipodes.

How dare you, sir.

What the devil do you
mean disturbing my peace?

- I wish you to
return my niece to me!

I saw her enter
this compartment.

What have you done with her?

- You are mistaken, sir.

Go and look in
another compartment.

I demand entry!

- Demand, sir?

That may work
where you come from

but it doesn't cut ice with me.

- I insist that you tell me

what you have done
with my niece.

I will--

- Porter I say, here! Guard!

Porter, here quickly.

You behave like this.

You, a visitor in our country!

- You are abducting my niece.

- Oh, pooh!

Now look here.

This fellow is annoying me.

I'm not at all sure
I shan't have him up

for assault and battery.

Now deal with him,
there's a good chap.

- But he has my niece.

- Lor, this is a
matter for the guard.

- But just listen to him!

He's as foreign as he can be.

Oh foreign, is he?

- Off the train.
- Give us a hand, will you?

- Good day to you, porter.

Thank you very much, guard!

- I will be even
with you, damned man.

You will not escape!

- You can come out now.

The coast is clear.

- Oh, how can I ever thank you?

- It's quite all right.

A pleasure.

Think no more of it.

- Oh, look at me.

- Yes.

- My hat, my face!

Whatever will you think of me?

- I assure you, nothing
but the very best.

- Could you?

- Yes, of course.

- I think it was
splendid of you to help.

- Absolutely delighted
to be of use.

- Splendid of you.

Absolutely delighted.

- Splendid of you.

The awkward part is that

I'm afraid I can't explain.

- You can't explain?

- No.

- How wonderful!

How topping!

How perfectly splendid!

- I beg your pardon?

- It's absolutely splendid!

It's like one of those books
that keep you awake all night.

The heroine always says, I
can't explain in chapter one,

and then she does at the end.

Oh I can't tell you
how pleased I am.

I didn't know such
things could happen.

I hope it's something to
do with secret documents

of immense importance
and the Balkan Express.

Oh, I dote upon
the Balkan Express.

- What makes you say
the Balkan Express?

- I hope I haven't
been indiscreet.

Your uncle?

- My uncle?

Oh, my uncle.

- I know.

I have an uncle myself.

Nobody should be held
responsible for their uncles.

Nature's little throwbacks,
that's how I look at it.

- What a refreshing and an
unusual person you are, Mr.?

- Rowland, but
George to my friends.

- And I am Elizabeth.

Elizabeth--

- I like the name Elizabeth.

They don't call
you Bessie or Betty

or anything horrible
like that, I hope?

- No.

Do I look an awful mess?

- Oh, no.

You look, you look...

All right.

- Goodness!

Where does this train go to?

- Rowlands Castle.

- Where?

Doesn't it stop anywhere else?

My dear girl, everywhere else.

Woking, Wimbledon,
Weybridge, you name it.

- Then I'd better
alight at the next stop,

motor back to town.

- Must you?

- You must find my behavior

quite extraordinary,
Mr. Rowland.

- George to my friends.

- It's all so sudden you see.

He saw us at the taxi
and then at the station.

I just bolted in here.

Us?

Saw us in the taxi?

- The people I was with.

- You don't sound the
least tiny bit foreign.

- Foreign?

To have a
beastly foreign uncle.

- Oh, I see.

Well, I was educated
here in England.

One always is, isn't one?

- Where else?

Well, I'm awfully glad
you bolted in here.

- Don't look so sad.

I wish I could explain.

- No, don't do that.

It would spoil everything,
the whole adventure.

Look, isn't there
something I could do?

Carry the secret
papers to Vienna or
something of that kind?

- Secret papers?

- There are always
secret papers.

Do give me a chance.

- You do want an
adventure, don't you?

- I'd do anything in the
world for you, Elizabeth.

- Even if I could
give you no reason?

- Rotten things, reasons.

- Even if it were dangerous?

- The more danger the better.

- What a nice man you are.

I'm sorry, I must go.

Portsmouth Harbor.

- Elizabeth!

Maybe we'll meet again?

- Shh!

Lean out of the window.

Don't be seen to be looking.
- Good Lord!

- You see that man leaning out?

- Yes, where?

- There, George, looking
just like the dear King.

Good heavens, yes.

I say, you don't suppose
it is the King, do you?

He's travelling third class!

- Follow him, George.

See what he does
and where he goes.

Don't let him out of your sight.

- Honestly?

Is that all?

What should I do?

- Further instructions
will be sent to you.

- I say!

- Watch him, George,
dear George, for me.

And guard this, guard
it with your life.

It is the key to everything.

- But I say!

Elizabeth, I say!

- For me, George.

For me!

- Oh, I say!

Rowlands Castle.

I'm afraid you'll have to wait.

Your mayor-elect has other
business just at present.

Hurry up, George, or His
Majesty will give you the slip.

Oh, oh!

So sorry.

Are you for hire?

- Might be.

- Then follow that cab.

- You a spy, are you?

- Certainly not.

- A detective on a divorce case?

I can always tell.

- Nothing of the kind.

- What are you up to?

- Oh, just a prank.

You can keep the change.

- I intend to.

A prank?

You can get into
trouble with pranks.

- Don't worry about me,

I've got my white
heather to bring me luck.

Dearie, dearie me.

Erica vagans.

- I beg your pardon?

- Erica vagans, dying,
by the look of it.

There's one born every day.

- Erica who?

What on earth's the
fellow talking about?

Mm-hm!

Smith, indeed.

- Good evening.

Isn't it just?

Can I help you?

- A room?

- A room, yes.

Single or double?

- Single?

- Ah, nevermind.

- Can you accommodate me?

- Indeed we can.

We can let you have room 25.

Oh, silly of me, I've just
let 25 to a Mr. Smith.

I ask you, Mr. Smith.

And alone.

You can have 27.

And you, I suppose,
are Mr. Brown?

- What? No.

Rowland.

George Rowland.

Then fill it in, sir.

- Oh, right.

- And the address.

- Address?

Rowlands Castle.

- George Rowland,
Rowland's castle!

I hope you'll be very
comfortable, sir.

Oh!

Good gracious, another of you.

I want a
room for the night.

- I dare say you do.

And you will be Mr. Jones.

If you say so.

- No, if you say so, Mr.?

Jones.

- Good evening, sir.

- Good evening.

Thank you very much.

Hell and damnation, no
peace for the wicked.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening.

Lord Rowland?

To and fro, to and fro.

We'll need a new
carpet at this rate.

I say, what is going on?

- On, madam?

I'm going for my constitutional.

- Oh, yes, I must say.

We'd be better off with sailors.

- I say!

Blast!

Good Lord!

Elizabeth, my darling,
this is an adventure.

Oh, I say!

Filthy night.

- Yeah.

I should be careful
if I was you.

Mister!

- Oh, quite.

There are two gentlemen
to see you, sir.

- To see me?

- In the Trafalgar Suite
at the end of the corridor.

- Are you sure for me?

- For Lord Rowland of
Rowlands Castle, yes, sir.

- Good Lord, did they say who?

- But I rather fancy that
they're not quite British.

- How much not quite?

- Very much.

In fact, I think
they're rather foreign.

- Oh, Lord.

- Ah, George Rowland?

Yes.

- Of Rowlands Castle, hm?

I have no doubt that you
can guess our identity sir.

Can I?

- No?

- No.

But at least I am
relieved to find

that you are not who I
thought you were going to be.

And who
might that be, sir?

- A perfectly ghastly man
from foreign shores who

interrupted my privacy, an
Englishman's cherished right,

at Waterloo Station.

Ah, Prince Osric.

Ah, how do you do?

No.

No.

The man was Prince Osric.

I am not he.

- Ah!

Well, he didn't behave
like a prince at all,

or not one of our princes.

Lord Rowland.

- Lord Rowland?

We have only
a few brief moments.

- It's very kind of you to
elevate me to the peerage.

- Which gives us
time only for you

to answer one brief question.

- You don't mind, do you?

I'm absolutely starving.

Haven't had a bite all day.

- Lord Rowland--
- Why in these places

it is always ham?

Right, fire away.

- Fire?
- This gentleman's questions.

I'm sorry, I didn't
catch your names.

- Lord Rowland.

You have left London
this afternoon

in the company of
a certain lady.

You have arrived
here without her.

Now, where is she, please?

- Lady?

I'm most awfully sorry,
I don't understand.

Well, if that's all, gentlemen.

- But I think you do understand.

You fit the description
we've been given,

even so far as the Erica vagans.

- Erica vagans.

I've heard that name before.

Is that the lady
you're looking for?

- No.

The lady we are looking
for, this is ridiculous!

What have you done
with my Alexa?

- Hand on my heart I know
no Erica and no Alexa.

Now if you will excuse me.

- Lord Rowland,
I insist that you

tell us where Her
Highness is hiding.

- Her whom?

- Her Highness.

- Elizabeth?

- How dare you, sir.

- Restrain yourself,
Prince Karl.

You know full well I think

that I am talking about
Her Royal Highness,

the Grand Duchess Alexa
Elizabeth of Catonia.

- Of where?

- Catonia.

- Never heard of it.

- You people seldom have, but
I do assure you, you will.

- One of your Balkan
states, I expect.

Always in trouble with your
peasants and your parliaments.

Well, perhaps we do
mean the same person,

only I call her Elizabeth.

- Sturm, we cannot allow this.

- I am so sorry,

I have no idea
where Elizabeth is.

I only wish I had.

Good evening, gentlemen.

I shouldn't go in
there if I were you,

the place is seething
with foreigners.

You run away from us?

- It seems the most
sensible thing to do.

Indeed!

- Otherwise we might end up
fighting and I never fight.

- You surprise me.

Why not?

- I am far too afraid
of getting hurt.

- Ha!

So this is the
remarkable British pluck

we are always hearing about?

- I say, old chap.

Go easy on the old
country, will you?

- To your old country.

That's
for England, old boy.

I told you I was
afraid of getting hurt.

That's why I learned jujitsu.

- Oh, well done, Lord Rowland!

- Right!

You shall hear more of this!

Sturm, come!

- That is your last
word, Lord Rowland?

- I didn't speak.

- You'll not tell us Her
Highness' whereabouts?

- Confound it, man, I don't
even know them myself.

- This is not the end!

You will be hearing from us.

Good evening, Lord Rowland.

- And good riddance!

I shouldn't be
surprised if you didn't

start another world
war, Lord Rowland.

Gud s.

Guard it with your life.

It is the key to everything.

- Good night!

This is ridiculous.

What I need now is a spot
of Ronald Colman in Raffles.

Follow him, George.

See what he does
and where he goes.

Don't let him out of your sight.

- Oh.

Evening, sir.

- Just looking for my cuff link.

- Oh.

- Phew, a narrow escape.

Right, you fiend.

If you move now,
I'll move with you.

And so to bed.

What was that?

Good Lord!

Five o'clock?

It's too early even for worms.

Follow him, George.

See what he does
and where he goes.

Don't let him out of your sight.

Morning, sir.

Don't you ever sleep?

Yes, sir.

- Oh, my God!

It's gone.

It can't have!

It's gone.

The one thing she
told me to guard.

You fool.

You are a total
failure at adventures.

A failure at work,
failure at life.

Oh, Elizabeth.

I've failed you.

Oh, what the deuce?

- Oh, morning, sir.

- Good morning again.

What time is it now?

- It's seven o'clock, sir.

- Must you make all this din?

- I'm sorry, sir.

The gentleman
asked to be called.

I cannot make him hear.

- Well, use your pass key.

- I have tried, sir, but
I cannot make it fit.

It's that one.

- A key in the other
side, if you ask me.

- Then what's happened
to the gentleman, sir?

- How on earth should I know?

Well, I'm...

Good Lord!

Whatever is it, sir?

- Well look here,

this packet was stolen
from my room last night

and here it is returned.

- What does it contain?

- I don't know.

Dash it all, somebody's
opened it already, so.

It's lunacy.

That's what it is,
it's absolute lunacy.

There's no sense anywhere.

- It's a wedding ring.

- The gentleman in number 25!

- There's a ledge out here.

I'm going along.

- God bless you, sir,
you're in your pajamas!

- And what exactly
is the correct attire

for breaking and entering?

Help!

Help!

Help!

Please help me!

Help!

Help, help!

Help!

Please help!

But you're not?

Who the devil are you?

All right, where's
the other chap?

- The man with the
beard and the mustache,

looks a little like the
king, God bless him?

- Yeah, friend of
yours, I suppose?

- No, sir.

He is not.

Now if you'd be so good, sir.

Oh, no.

No, not until I know
just who you are.

- I, sir, am Detective Inspector
Jarrold of Scotland Yard.

- Are you really?

- Do you mind, sir?

And you are?

- Well, I scarcely
know any more.

I'm George Rowland
of no fixed address.

- Not Lord Rowland of
Rowlands Castle, then?

- Don't be silly.

Rowlands Castle's a station
on the Portsmouth line.

- I know that, sir.

Now, you'd be well advised

to tell me all you know
about this business.

- Well, I'm not sure it
makes much sense, Inspector.

- Perhaps you'll let me
be the judge of that, sir.

- Well, it all started
yesterday when I got the sack.

So I came along the ledge and,

what were you doing
in the wardrobe?

- Oh, the rogue temporarily
got the better of me, sir.

As to the theft of the
packet, I can explain that.

I popped into your bedroom

when you were out chasing that

bearded fellow to the
bathroom, and borrowed it.

- But why, Inspector, why?

- Didn't trust you, sir.

- You didn't trust me?

- I'm awfully sorry, sir,

but I thought you might
be another accomplice.

- Accomplice of whom?

- Chappie that has
this room, sir.

He's known to us.

- Really?

- What did you find in that
bathroom skirting, sir?

- I can't make head or
tail of it, actually.

I think it's a a love letter.

- A love letter, eh?

May I look?

- It's in my room.

Oh, no, not again!

Oh,
you do need someone

to look after you,
don't you sir.

- Well, at least they
didn't take this.

But what on earth
were they after?

- Yes, I'm awfully afraid

it might have been
that love letter.

Where did you put it?

- Where indeed?

I was going to return it,

and then I came
in and discovered

that Elizabeth's packet
had gone and then,

and then I'm afraid I
went to pieces a bit.

I say, I slipped it in here!

- Very fortuitous, sir.

May I?

- I say, do you think you ought?

It is a private letter.

- As you say, sir,

but I rather fancy
that if you drew a line

from one dotted I to another

you'd get a very
different result.

- Really?

- I rather think, sir,

that this is a plan of the
Portsmouth Harbor defenses.

- Good Lord.

- Yeah.

They've had their eye on
it for some time, sir.

Quite a gang, you know.

- So that's what he
was up to last night.

- That's it, sir.

He was out collecting
information that helped him

dot the Is, as you
might say.

- Inspector, you're brilliant.

- Oh, thank you very much, sir.

All part of the job.

And I fear we haven't got
to the end of this yet, sir.

My men will soon pick up

this nasty bit of work,
but he's got an accomplice.

Gets a woman to do all
his dirty work for him.

A woman?

What's her name?

- We're not sure, nor
what she looks like.

Clues, you know, sir.

But it is rumored that she
has very pretty features

and bright eyes.

Well in fact at the Yard we
call her Betty Bright Eyes.

- Why Betty?

- Well, cos that's
her name, sir.

He used it once
on the telephone.

Just Betty, that's all.

"Alright, Betty?" he says.

"Keep up the good
work, Bright Eyes."

So Betty Bright Eyes she became.

- Oh, Elizabeth.

- Excuse me, sir?

Here, you don't look
very well, you know.

- That's because I don't
feel very well, Inspector.

I'd better catch the
first train back to town.

- That'll be the
slow train now, sir.

You'd be better off
waiting for the express.

- The slow train will suit
me admirably, Inspector.

- If you're quite sure
you're all right, sir.

I will pursue my inquiries.

There's still a lot to be done.

- The girl in the train.

The brightest eyes
I've ever seen,

I'll stake my life on it.

She's either Betty Bright Eyes

or the Grand Duchess of Catonia.

Or both.

Are you the only
cabbie in Portsmouth?

- Hard work be
good for the soul,

my old mother always said.

- Oh, did she?

Station, please.

- Exhausted the delights of
Portsmouth already, have you?

Did your friends
find you last night?

- I beg your pardon?

- Gave a neat
description of you.

- Who did?

- Foreign chappies looking
for a handsome young chap.

Couldn't place you at that.

Then they mentioned Erica
vagans, got you at once.

Said he had a bit of weed
stuck in his lapel.

Got you at once.

- My white heather?

- Erica vagans, pale mauve.

Nothing like white
heather.

There's one born every minute.

- What an extraordinary fellow.

Paper, sir?

- The wedding took place
yesterday in London

of Lord James Gay,

second son of the
Marquis of Axminster

and the Grand Duchess
Alexa of Catonia.

The ceremony was kept
a profound secret.

The Grand Duchess has been
living in Paris with her uncle,

Prince Osric, since the
recent upheaval in Catonia.

Oh, damn, damn, damn!

She met Lord James, the swine,

on a skiing holiday
in Switzerland.

Oh, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth, how could
you do this to me?

But that's not my Elizabeth.

It's nothing like her.

Or is it?

Oh, Elizabeth.

George.

- Elizabeth.

- George.

- Elizabeth!

- Aren't you pleased
to see me, George?

- For God's sake, tell me,

are you the Grand
Duchess of Catonia?

Because if so, this is the
most ghastly photograph of you!

- No.

- But you are Betty Bright Eyes?

- Who?

- Betty Bright Eyes, a
traitor to our country,

but don't worry Elizabeth,
I'll get you out of this!

George, what
on earth are you doing?

- Get under the seat.

I will
not get under the seat.

- You've got to
stay out of sight

'til the train leaves,
please Elizabeth!

- George, will you listen to me?

I am not Betty Bright
Eyes, whoever she may be.

- You're not?

And you're not the
Grand Duchess Alexa?

Who are you, Elizabeth?

- I'm Elizabeth Gay,
and my brother James

has just married
the Grand Duchess,

whom he loves dearly, but
her uncle, Prince Osric,

didn't want the
marriage to take place.

There was a horrible plot afoot
for her to marry her cousin,

a frightful pimply person
called Prince Karl.

- I met him.

Whom
Alexa absolutely hates.

- Sensible girl.

- We were doing
splendidly yesterday,

bowling through London on our
way to the registry office,

when Prince Osric,
Alexa's uncle, spotted us,

and then I had the brilliant
idea of changing places,

acting as a sort of decoy,
like those ducks in shooting.

So we changed hats and coats
and really with the collar up,

one hardly glimpses
a girl nowadays.

And it worked like a dream.

Prince Osric came
pounding after me,

leaving the loving couple
to plight their troth.

- Lucky old them.

- And everything was fine,

except that I met
a dear, sweet man

who wanted an adventure

and I couldn't resist
giving him one.

- But you also gave me this.

- Alexa bought a spare
in case James forgot.

You know what men are like.

And I thought it would
add to your mystery.

- Well, it certainly did that.

- And then Sturm and Prince
Karl came pounding back

and said you were in Portsmouth.

I got the express this
morning and here I am.

- Just to see me?

- And to explain.

- Sir, just thought
you'd like to know,

meet Betty Bright Eyes.

- I say!

- Morning, sir.

- Yeah, we got His Majesty too.

He could have made his
getaway you know sir,

but he wouldn't leave
Portsmouth Harbor without her.

It's amazing what love
can do, innit, sir?

- Amazing.

Well,
better be off, sir.

It's the express
train for these two.

Are you quite sure
you won't join us?

- Quite sure.

We're off.

- Well, good luck, sir.

- It's just like
all those stories,

so simple when you know how.

- And why.

- All the same, seems
deuced odd to me

that a common cabbie

would know the Latin
name for white heather.

- It isn't white heather
at all, it's quite mauve.

- But very, very lucky.