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1
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[music playing on TV]
2
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,280
God Almighty.
3
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,440
I don't know what the world is coming to.
4
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,080
Bloody perverts.
5
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,840
You're overreacting, Da.
6
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,480
Overreacting? That lad's got
no trousers on, for Christ's sake.
7
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,800
He has a great set of pins on him,
doesn't he?
8
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,400
God's sake, will you close that window?
We're foundered here.
9
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,000
I need air, Mary. I've five layers on me.
10
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Five layers.
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00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,520
What are you trying to do, change race?
12
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,920
Give us a going over with the hairdryer,
will you?
13
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,560
I will not, I've enough to be at.
14
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,040
Why do they keep touching themselves?
15
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'Cause they're artists, granddad.
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Dirty English bastards is what they are.
No offense, son.
17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,720
[Donna Traynor on TV] The SDLP leader,
John Hume, has again called for
18
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,080
cross-party peace talks...
19
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,560
John's really dying for peace, like,
isn't he?
20
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,400
It's all he ever goes on about.
21
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I hope it works out for him.
22
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,840
Aye, I sort of hope it works out
for all of us, Sarah.
23
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,200
Come on, girls.
Time to hit the road here.
24
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,440
Have they roped you
into going as well, son?
25
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,600
Roped in? Hardly.
He's riding Gary Barlow.
26
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,800
I'm not. I just respect him
as a songwriter, that's all.
27
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,240
Aye, dead on, James, so you do.
28
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,640
Will we need our passports, Gerry?
29
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,400
For Belfast?
I don't think so, love.
30
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,240
-Belfast?
-Are we not a bit early, Daddy?
31
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,680
It's a two-hour drive
with traffic, love.
32
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,040
This thing's in Belfast?
33
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,560
It's eight hours till the doors open.
34
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,240
-I know. We're cuttin' it fine.
-Belfast?
35
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Sure, why didn't you just sell the wains
into white slavery and be done with it?
36
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,240
-Gerry will be with them, Da.
-Well, that's worse.
37
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,120
-They hate his kind there.
-My kind?
38
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-Pricks.
-[Mary] That is enough.
39
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,440
They're going to the concert, Da,
40
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,000
and that's the end of the matter.
41
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,360
[Donna Traynor on TV]
Finally, panic at Belfast Zoo today,
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when a polar bear escaped
from its enclosure.
43
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The RUC have launched
a widespread search,
44
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,280
and have warned residents
in the local area to be extra...
45
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,600
Now will you see sense?
46
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,120
Aye, Da, 'cause an escaped polar bear's
gonna track us down and kill us.
47
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,000
As if Mammy's bothered by that.
48
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,640
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪
49
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:57,880
♪ Ooh ♪
50
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,240
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪
51
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,400
Wise up, Mammy.
52
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,040
As if a polar bear's gonna rock up
at a Take That concert!
53
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,880
He wouldn't get a ticket, for a start.
They sold out months ago.
54
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,080
You'd be surprised, girls.
55
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,120
Aye, thon boys will get in
where draughts wouldn't.
56
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,720
Sure, the concert's
nowhere near the zoo.
57
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,000
But he's not in the zoo anymore,
is he, Simple Simon?
58
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,240
He's sauntering about Belfast
without a care in the world.
59
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,560
Aye, keep up, Gerry.
60
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,920
What I'm saying is that it would be
quite a lot of ground for him to cover.
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00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,760
They're quick on their feet
when they wanna be, love.
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00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,160
Someone might give him a lift.
63
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,320
Whose side are you on, Orla?
64
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,960
Come on, Mary. If you don't let Erin go,
then our mas won't let us go.
65
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,640
Well, neither they should,
and I'll be ringing them to say as much.
66
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,800
-Oh, brilliant!
-I hate my life.
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00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,560
Look, girls, I know how much you were
looking forward to seeing This and That.
68
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,800
-Take That.
-But there'll be other concerts.
69
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,440
No there won't. The fact that
this one's happening is a miracle.
70
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,440
Nobody good ever comes here
'cause we keep killing each other.
71
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,320
And now we're overrun with polar bears.
72
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,360
-Where will it end?
-Seriously!
73
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,360
Well, I'm not letting that fat furry fuck
ruin the biggest day of my life.
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00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,800
What can we do?
75
00:02:58,800 --> 00:02:59,800
Right. Listen, girls.
76
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,720
I've never told anyone this before, but...
77
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,240
sometimes,
when Robbie's being interviewed,
78
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,840
it's like he's sending me
messages through the TV--
79
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,720
you know, like, telepathically
or whatever.
80
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,480
It's like he's saying...
81
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,720
we're meant to be together.
82
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,120
Aye, maybe don't tell that
to anyone again, Michelle.
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Ever.
84
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,600
Look, this is too important.
85
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,480
I'm going to that concert.
I'm not afraid of a fucking polar bear.
86
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,560
-Me neither.
-Nor me.
87
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,440
Bastard.
88
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,560
I'll kill it with me own two hands,
if I have to.
89
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,680
-Bring it on!
-Yes!
90
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,760
[Clare] OK.
91
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,080
We seem to have gone down
a weird road here, people.
92
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,480
I think we just got a bit confused.
93
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,680
We don't actually have to
fight a polar bear,
94
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,840
and if we did,
I wouldn't fancy our chances
95
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:37,920
because, well, they're massive.
96
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,440
-But there's five of us.
-The point is...
97
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the polar bear's not the one stopping us
going to the concert.
98
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,320
It's our mothers, and we'll never
get them to change their minds.
99
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,000
We're not gonna try
and change their minds.
100
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,440
-We're gonna do something else.
-What?
101
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,480
Lie our holes off.
102
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,040
♪ I've got the key ♪
103
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,320
♪ I've got the secret ♪
104
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,000
♪ I've got the key to... ♪
105
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,000
We're gonna get caught, I just know it.
106
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,200
We're not gonna get caught, Clare,
107
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,840
because as far as our mas
are concerned,
108
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,400
me, you and James are round Erin's,
109
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,840
and Erin and Orla are round mine.
110
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,760
But we're not round yours, Michelle.
We're on the bus to Belfast.
111
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,640
I can't.
112
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,160
I cannot explain it to her again.
I'm gonna scream.
113
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,320
-What's in the suitcase, Michelle?
-Vodka.
114
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,560
You brought an entire suitcase
full of vodka?
115
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,640
No.
116
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,240
There's mixers as well.
I'm not a savage.
117
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,480
You can mix vodka with cider, right?
118
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,240
God, I am boiling.
119
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,920
Is it any wonder, Clare?
What are you wearing?
120
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,920
Yeah, you look like a fucking Provo.
121
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,560
I don't want anyone recognizing me, OK?
122
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,120
No one's gonna recognize you, Clare.
123
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,240
Clare Devlin, is that you?
124
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,320
Jesus Christ.
125
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,600
Relax, Clare. It's the weekend.
126
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,880
She has no authority over us
at the weekend.
127
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,560
She has no right to question us,
128
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,360
and if she tries to,
I'll tell her as much.
129
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,680
-Morning, girls.
-[all] Morning, Sister Michael.
130
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,000
What takes you to Belfast?
131
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:52,720
-I'm not really sure that's--
-Speak up.
132
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,640
I'm not really sure that
that's any of your business.
133
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,680
I'm going to assume
134
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,120
that was an ill-judged attempt at humor,
Miss Quinn.
135
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,960
-[whispers] Yes.
-Now answer the question.
136
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,640
-We're going to the museum.
-Which museum?
137
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,160
-Ulster Museum.
-What for?
138
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,400
-A project. A history project.
-What about?
139
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,480
Ulster.
140
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,240
Hmm.
141
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,960
[all sigh]
142
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,760
♪ Better the devil you know ♪
143
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:25,800
-♪ Better the devil you know ♪
-♪ Whoa oh oh ♪
144
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,360
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh... ♪
145
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,040
A history project.
146
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,440
This web of lies we're spinning
is getting out of control now, girls.
147
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,640
It's grand, Clare. I think she bought it.
148
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,600
Of course she didn't buy it.
She's onto us, I'm telling you.
149
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,160
-God, I'm sweltering here.
-Then take it off.
150
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,840
I can't take it off,
I've nothing underneath it.
151
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:46,800
What, not even a bra?
152
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,480
Jesus, Clare, you've no bra on?
153
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,200
Of course, I've got a bra on.
154
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,400
I haven't got a bra on.
155
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,840
Can everyone stop saying "bra"?
156
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,840
But I can hardly parade around
in just my bra, can I?
157
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,920
I'm not Madonna.
158
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,360
-Isn't that the truth?
-What's she doing now?
159
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,720
-[James] Reading her book.
-[laughing]
160
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,680
Now she's looking at the woman beside her.
161
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,760
Now she's getting up.
162
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,440
Now she's coming this way.
163
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,800
Now she's standing right in front of us.
164
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,080
-What's he doing?
-Now she's--
165
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,120
Stop talking, James.
166
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,240
I want to sit here.
167
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,240
What? Why?
168
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,960
Well, you're just such
wonderful company, girls,
169
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,760
what with your stimulating conversation
and razor-sharp wit.
170
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,000
-Really?
-No, not really.
171
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,880
The woman next to me
is eating an egg and onion sandwich,
172
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,560
and the smell of it is enough
to turn an Orange march.
173
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,000
-Christ, but this is heavy.
-Sister, no, let me.
174
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,440
-What do you have in here, girls?
-It's not ours.
175
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,440
Not yours?
176
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,000
We have never seen it before
in our lives, have we, girls?
177
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,600
-No.
-[Michelle and James] Never.
178
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,360
Excuse me, everyone.
Can I have your attention, please?
179
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,480
Does anyone own this red suitcase?
180
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,520
[all] No.
181
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,080
Let me be clear. No one
can claim this bag, is that correct?
182
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,400
[all] That's correct.
183
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,520
I think we have a Code Red on our hands.
184
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,400
Driver, pull over.
185
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,920
♪ Do do-do doo ♪
186
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,480
♪ Do do-do doo... ♪
187
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,120
[soldier over radio]
...in position.
188
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,920
Examining suspect device now.
189
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,840
Sweet Jesus.
190
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,320
-Aye, this isn't great.
-It's not that big a deal.
191
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,960
They're about to blow up
an entire suitcase of vodka, Michelle.
192
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,240
I know. Animals.
193
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,080
Their wee beekeeper costumes
are so cracker.
194
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,240
You're unbelievable.
195
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,360
This is so itchy now.
196
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,280
Don't blame me.
Blame the Milk Tray Man.
197
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,040
This is serious, Michelle.
People have gone to jail for less.
198
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,520
Why is this place so mental?
199
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,600
That's enough, James.
200
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,480
You have serious fucking
anger management issues.
201
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,560
Do you know that?
202
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,600
-[explosion]
-[breaking glass]
203
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,800
33 Bravo, this is 31 Alpha, over.
[radio beeps]
204
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,760
[soldier 2 over radio]
I hear you, over.
205
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,600
[soldier 1 over radio]
All clear here, over.
206
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,480
Roger. Let's pack it up. Over.
207
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,560
[soldier 1 over radio]
Powerful smell of vodka down here, over.
208
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,760
Vodka, did he say?
209
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,600
Interesting.
210
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,680
OK. We need to go.
211
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,040
We need a better plan.
212
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,120
This is a great plan.
213
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,440
We cannot walk to Belfast.
214
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,520
How far could it be?
215
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,160
Have you ever seen Northern Ireland
on a map? It's fucking tiny.
216
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,640
I have to say, I'm not overly keen on us
being out in the open like this,
217
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:27,720
just because of the whole
218
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,080
there's-a-polar-bear-on-the-loose-
that-could-maul-us-to-death thing.
219
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,560
It can try.
220
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,920
Is it just me,
or is that gypsy an absolute ride?
221
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,040
-[Erin] Michelle, you cannot say that.
-[Michelle] What?
222
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,240
They're called travelers now.
223
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,480
You can't say "gypsy" anymore.
It's insulting.
224
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,559
-Is it?
-Yes, yes it is.
225
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,120
-Really?
-[James] Who are they?
226
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,200
They're just people, James.
They're just people exactly like us.
227
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,880
-Except different.
-Yes. No.
228
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,680
[gasps]
That's actually racist, Orla.
229
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,040
No, it's not. They are different.
230
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,640
-[Erin] They're not.
-Well, they live in caravans, for a start.
231
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,080
I wish I lived in a caravan.
232
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,560
Aye, me too. Caravans are class.
233
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,440
Can everybody stop being so racist,
please?
234
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,920
I'm a bit scared of them. Is that racist?
235
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000
-Yes.
-Very much so.
236
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,720
-Is gypsy even a race?
-Traveler.
237
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:05,840
Howya, girls.
238
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:06,920
-Well, hello there.
-Hi.
239
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:07,920
Good afternoon, sir.
240
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,720
"Sir"? What the fuck, Clare?
241
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,760
Hey, hold on.
242
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,960
-What does he want?
-I don't know.
243
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:12,880
I'm talking to you.
244
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,000
Just walk on.
245
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,800
Hey, are you deaf or what?
246
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,040
Keep your heads down and keep walking.
247
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,120
Get back here!
248
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,080
Faster. Walk faster.
249
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,080
Am I gonna have to come after you, am I?
250
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,600
Jesus Christ, he's following us.
251
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,240
-Holy fuck.
-[Erin] Run!
252
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,760
-[James] What?
-He's obviously a psychopath. Run!
253
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,560
[Michelle]
He looks fucking raging.
254
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,840
I don't want to die!
255
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,960
[screaming]
I don't want to die!
256
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,440
-This is some craic, isn't it?
-[James] Holy shit they're fast!
257
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,400
Piss off!
258
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,680
What?!
259
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,440
Back off, you hear me? I'm not
messing around with this thing.
260
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,320
We mean you no harm, sir.
261
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,760
Seriously, Clare.
The "sir" thing, just pack it in.
262
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,080
-Why you being so weird?
-Why are you chasin' us?
263
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,280
Because you dropped this.
264
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,640
That's my purse.
265
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,600
Why did you think we were chasing you?
266
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,960
All right. I see.
267
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,320
We're travelers,
which means we're psychopaths.
268
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,680
-Oh, you were right, Erin.
-Shut up, Orla.
269
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,280
We run after people and beat them up,
for no fucking reason.
270
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,360
No, look, that isn't--
271
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,800
We're travelers,
so we're obviously violent!
272
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,880
No, not at all.
273
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,960
Listen, we have huge respect
for you and your people.
274
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,120
You've such a strong sense of community,
275
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,480
and such wonderful traditional values.
276
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,000
[horn honking]
277
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,280
These lads bothering you girls?
278
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,680
-Yes, yes they are.
-They're fucking madmen.
279
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,200
-They're gonna kill us.
-Help us, please.
280
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,880
[spits]
281
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:32,960
Jump in.
282
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,520
♪ All right, all right ♪
283
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,400
♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪
284
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,040
♪ All right, all right... ♪
285
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,120
Arseholes.
286
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,240
♪ ...be all right ♪
287
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:42,840
♪ All right, all right ♪
288
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,760
♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪
289
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,720
♪ All right, all right ♪
290
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,560
♪ It's really all right ♪
291
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,640
♪ No don't be so sad ♪
292
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,040
♪ 'Cause love is by your side ♪
293
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,280
♪ No don't be so... ♪
294
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,360
We totally suit.
295
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,320
Have you ever actually met them, Rita,
Take That?
296
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,640
No, I can't stand them,
if I'm being honest,
297
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,560
but their fans are so thick
they'll buy any old shite,
298
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,640
present company included.
299
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,320
I think you mean "excluded."
300
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,640
No, no I don't.
301
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,720
I see.
302
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,080
Pop music isn't really my thing,
truth be told.
303
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,520
It's all so fucking soulless now.
304
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,760
I'm a classical head all the way,
305
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,920
but I've been banned from trading
306
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,480
at Glyndebourne ever since
I absolutely battered that Pavarotti fan,
307
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,160
and when I say battered,
I mean intellectually like.
308
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,120
I did kick the shit out of him as well.
309
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,480
Pavo's "La Boheme" is very muscular,
310
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,480
but for purity of tone,
you simply cannot fault Bocelli!
311
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,640
I mean, listen to that, girls.
312
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,720
Pass the can there.
313
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,800
The can of...
314
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,160
oh, beer. I see.
315
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,360
Alcoholic beer.
316
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,880
[slurps]
317
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,200
Oh, that's fucking beautiful.
318
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,720
While driving. OK. Fine. Good.
319
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,040
Mmm. What a fucking instrument.
320
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,960
Glorious!
321
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,600
Any idea what the speed limit is
around here?
322
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:52,680
Robie?
323
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,080
Close your eyes, girls, and soak it up.
324
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,960
Sure, of course,
but maybe you could soak it up
325
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,280
with your eyes open and,
you know, on the road.
326
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,560
[opera music blaring]
327
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:11,960
[opera music continues]
328
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,200
Erin, what are we gonna do?
329
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,840
I don't know. She's fucking mental.
330
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,240
She spelled "Robbie" wrong
on every single T-shirt.
331
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,120
-What?!
-How are we gonna break it to her?
332
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,000
That's what you're worried about, Clare?
333
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,320
At this very second,
that's what's concerning you,
334
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,720
a spelling mistake?
335
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,120
I find it disturbing, Erin.
336
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,440
Tell you what, girls.
337
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,280
I don't believe in God,
but, see, if I did...
338
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,560
Um, she's lost the plot.
339
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,000
...that's what He would sound like.
340
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,280
We should have took our chances
with the gypsies.
341
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,200
-Travelers. Ooph.
-[thud]
342
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,720
[gasping]
343
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,040
Jesus Christ.
344
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,800
-What was that?
-Did we hit something?
345
00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,560
Oh, my God, it's the polar bear!
346
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,200
Not again.
347
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,440
Get it shifted, girls.
348
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,040
[Michelle]
This is rank.
349
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,400
[Clare]
Then why are we doing it?
350
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,680
Because Rita told us to,
and I'm scared of her, Clare.
351
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,120
I'm very, very scared of her.
352
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,600
Why's it so heavy?
Aren't they meant to be 90% wool?
353
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,000
Just put your back into it.
354
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,200
The sooner this is done,
the sooner we're back in the van
355
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,600
and on our way to see Robbie.
356
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,920
"Robie." I mean,
it so obviously doesn't look right.
357
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,960
I am not getting back in that van,
Michelle. The woman is a maniac.
358
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,880
We've come this far.
We're not turning back.
359
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,520
-Oh, Jesus Christ.
-What is it?
360
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,120
I just put my hand on its hole.
361
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,920
Fuck this. Let's just make James do it,
the lazy bastard.
362
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,840
-[all agreeing]
-[thud]
363
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,400
Where is James?
364
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,640
[all talking at once]
365
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,640
Will you shut the fuck up?
366
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,440
OK.
367
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,680
So, as far as I can make out,
368
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,760
you think you left this James character
with the gypsies.
369
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,640
Travelers.
370
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,040
The small, annoying one thinks
we should go back for him because... ?
371
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,480
They were so angry with us,
he could be in danger, Rita.
372
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,280
And the mouthy curly one
thinks we shouldn't because... ?
373
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,240
-Because he's a dickhead, Rita.
-See, it's tricky.
374
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,320
Come on, Michelle!
375
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,400
If we go back for him,
we're gonna miss the start of the concert.
376
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,320
But he's your cousin.
377
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,840
Who hasn't lost a cousin or two
in their time?
378
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:19,920
OK, OK.
379
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,120
So, who agrees with Tiny Tears?
Who thinks we should go back?
380
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,600
-Orla!
-I like James.
381
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,040
I like Take That more.
382
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,480
Make a fucking decision.
I've T-shirts to flog.
383
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,560
Come on, girls.
It's Take That we're talking about.
384
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,640
I know, it's just--
385
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,640
[Michelle] You said it yourself, Erin,
the greats don't come here.
386
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,920
We never got to see Bros,
New Kids on the Block, Right Said Fred.
387
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,520
Let's not add Take That to that list.
388
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,240
We can't turn back.
There's too much at stake.
389
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,400
-James has the tickets.
-Shit!
390
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,480
[Donna Traynor on TV]
Despite John Hume's optimism
391
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,560
earlier today,
392
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,800
the DUP leader, Ian Paisley, has said
393
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,240
that under no circumstances will his
party sit at the same table as Sinn Féin,
394
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,680
making all party talks impossible.
395
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,160
[Mary]
I can't take it anymore.
396
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,160
All these false promises,
397
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,000
waiting week after week,
hoping today might be the day,
398
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,320
only to be disappointed.
399
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,600
Don't upset yourself, love.
It's just a wheelie bin.
400
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,200
It'll change my life, Gerry.
401
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,400
And Strabane's had them for months.
402
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,800
I mean, what's going on there?
403
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,920
Who's pulling the strings for Strabane?
404
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,840
I mean, it's against
the Trades Description Act.
405
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,040
The label said mahogany.
Sure, that's barely oak.
406
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,560
Jesus, but I'm fuming, so I am.
407
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,320
-He's gaining ground.
-[Sarah] What?
408
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,960
The polar bear.
409
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,000
Margo Murphy's niece saw him
410
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,240
just outside the Abrakebabra
in Coleraine, apparently.
411
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,520
-That close?
-I'll get the holy water.
412
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,360
Sarah, buzz Michelle's mother there.
413
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,920
Tell her we need our wains back.
414
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,320
I will surely, Daddy.
415
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,800
Then we'll barricade the front door,
416
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,360
and if the worse comes to worst,
417
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,320
Jim across the road
lent me his tranquilizer gun.
418
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,680
Nobody's picking up.
419
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,440
Why does Jim across the road
have a tranquilizer gun?
420
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,160
His brother had an awful lot of bother
with devil worshippers.
421
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,240
Excuse me?
422
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,120
Aye, they set up camp on his farm,
423
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,720
and he couldn't shift them
for love nor money,
424
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,000
so Jim bought a couple of guns
and just...
425
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,560
What, shot them?
426
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,160
Aye. I think it worked, you know.
427
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,320
I imagine it would, yeah.
428
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,760
I'm not convinced they were
devil worshippers, you know.
429
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,680
Sure their hair had never seen a brush
430
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,800
and they were head to toe
in tie-dye, Mary.
431
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,600
Jesus Christ.
432
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,240
OK, I think we all
just need to take a moment.
433
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,840
[knock at the door]
434
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,200
Don't answer. That might be him.
That might be the polar bear!
435
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,280
Yeah, because they're known
for their impeccable manners.
436
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,400
They might come into your house
and rip your throat out,
437
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,120
but they'll knock on the door first.
438
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,760
Could you please
stop pointing that thing at me, Joe?
439
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,160
Da.
440
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,920
Ach, Geraldine.
441
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,840
I hope you don't mind.
Your front door was open.
442
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,520
Can you believe this bloody polar bear?
443
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,240
At our wits' end over at our place.
444
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:41,760
It's desperate, so it is.
445
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,880
[knock at the door]
446
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960
Mary, Gerry.
447
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,680
Come on in, Deirdre, love, it's open.
448
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,440
Can you credit this arsehole?
449
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,080
He's gonna hold this whole town
hostage, you mark my words.
450
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,040
He's an evil bastard, Deirdre.
451
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,400
Look, I just want to get my two
back home, if that's all right, Mary.
452
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,600
Aye, same here. You wouldn't mind
getting Clare for me?
453
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,800
What are you talking about?
454
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,120
Ssh! Listen.
455
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,360
[Donna Traynor on TV]
A polar bear
456
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,840
that escaped from Belfast Zoo
this morning has been recaptured.
457
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,480
A group of firefighters
who were helping with the search
458
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:11,040
discovered the animal close to the A6,
between Belfast and Londonderry,
459
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,199
feasting on a sheep carcass.
460
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,040
Oh, thank God for that.
461
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,879
Ah, better leave Jim's gun back so.
462
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,200
Michelle, James and Clare,
463
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,160
did they tell you
they were coming round here?
464
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,360
Aye, that's right.
465
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,280
The wee feckers.
466
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,280
[horn honking]
467
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,840
What are you playing at?
Get in the van, fucko.
468
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,040
You don't have to
if you don't want to, James.
469
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,240
With all due respect, this has got
nothing to do with you.
470
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,120
The way you treat this fella,
it's disgraceful.
471
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,360
What is going on, James?
472
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,600
Jonjo and the lads,
473
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,560
well, they just get me.
474
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,160
And it turns out,
I'm a really good salesman.
475
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,240
He's a natural.
476
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,960
So, what, you're a gypsy now?
477
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,040
Traveler!
478
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,440
-Actually, gypsy's fine.
-I knew it.
479
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,640
Let's get a move on!
480
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:15,520
Right. Get in the van, come on.
481
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,400
And do not test me 'cause we've
already missed PJ and Duncan.
482
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,840
-Is that who was supporting them?
-Aye.
483
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,280
Oh, I really like them!
484
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,360
I'm not leaving, Michelle.
485
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,160
Not even for Gary Barlow?
486
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,200
I don't really rate him as a songwriter,
you know.
487
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,120
I'm sorry, Jonjo,
but you just crossed the line there.
488
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,760
[coins jingle]
489
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,000
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪
490
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,240
♪ Ooh hoo ♪
491
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,520
♪ Sharp, so sharp ♪
492
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,400
My Michelle is gonna be wishing
493
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,960
she was mauled to death by that thing
when I get my hands on her.
494
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,800
I don't know what to do anymore.
495
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,960
I mean, they say that all teenagers
are a bit rebellious,
496
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,960
but Clare's off the scale.
She's basically a delinquent.
497
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,320
Have you considered adoption, Geraldine?
498
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,080
She's 16, Sarah.
Sure, she's past the cut-off.
499
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,200
[Donna Traynor on TV]
And finally, amazing scenes
500
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,520
in the King's Hall this evening
as the British pop sensations Take That
501
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,000
play their first ever
Northern Irish concert.
502
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,680
♪ Everything changes but you... ♪
503
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,000
Girls, we just need
some cold, hard proof
504
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,760
they went to that concert,
505
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,640
and then, by Christ
they won't know what's hit them.
506
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,360
[screaming and cheering]
507
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,640
♪ Now don't you cry ♪
508
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,320
♪ Just one more kiss ♪
509
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,800
♪ Before I have to go... ♪
510
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,440
[laughs]
511
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,640
♪ ...don't go ♪
512
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,880
♪ And give my love away ♪
513
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,120
♪ ...I'll be home soon ♪
514
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,960
♪ Back in your arms
To hear you say that ♪
515
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,840
♪ Everything changes but you ♪
516
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,880
♪ We're a thousand miles apart ♪
517
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,440
♪ And I miss you, baby ♪
518
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,200
♪ Everything changes but you ♪
519
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,320
♪ You know every single day ♪
520
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,520
♪ I'll be thinking about you ♪
521
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,680
♪ The rumors true ♪
522
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,480
♪ You know that there've been others ♪
523
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,280
♪ What can I do ♪
524
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:17,000
♪ I tell you, baby
They don't mean a thing ♪
525
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,240
♪ Now, girl, don't go... ♪
37713
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