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1
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,607
(tires screech)
2
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,376
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,246
-(tires screeching)
-(grunting)
4
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:21,588
♪
5
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,304
I am so excited for
the scout jamboree this weekend.
6
00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:36,174
Dad, hand over the family bugle!
7
00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:37,475
Here she is!
8
00:00:37,475 --> 00:00:39,477
Old Blowy.
9
00:00:39,477 --> 00:00:40,711
(blows bad note)
10
00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:43,614
-(fanfare playing)
- Hmm?
11
00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:45,616
What? You're not a boy!
12
00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:47,485
You can't join
the Boy Explorers!
13
00:00:47,485 --> 00:00:49,420
And that's a flugelhorn!
14
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,622
Yes. It's the hardest horn.
15
00:00:51,622 --> 00:00:53,624
And, FYI, I did join.
16
00:00:53,624 --> 00:00:56,160
And I already have
three badges--
17
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:57,528
environmentalism,
18
00:00:57,528 --> 00:00:58,596
badge-receiving,
19
00:00:58,596 --> 00:01:00,531
and sibling rivalry.
20
00:01:00,531 --> 00:01:02,200
Come on, you two...
21
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,602
MALE HACKER (distorted):
Attention, corporate overlords,
22
00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,838
we are Pseudo-nonymous,
23
00:01:06,838 --> 00:01:09,974
and we have taken over
this broadcast.
24
00:01:09,974 --> 00:01:13,177
We are the anarchist collective
of nameless hacktivists
25
00:01:13,177 --> 00:01:16,180
who published the internal
emails of Waffle House
26
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:20,184
and brought Home Depot's
"Find a store near you" feature
27
00:01:20,184 --> 00:01:21,686
to its knees.
28
00:01:21,686 --> 00:01:25,823
FEMALE HACKER:
Now we have hacked into the Disney Corporation's servers
29
00:01:25,823 --> 00:01:29,894
and seized hundreds of hours
of never-before-aired footage
30
00:01:29,894 --> 00:01:32,897
from the television show
The Simpsons.
31
00:01:32,897 --> 00:01:35,333
Stories so ill-conceived,
32
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,834
so idiotic
33
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,870
that their exposure
would destroy
34
00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:42,073
the value
of the very I. P. itself.
35
00:01:42,073 --> 00:01:46,244
Until we are paid a ransom
of $20 million in Bitcoin,
36
00:01:46,244 --> 00:01:49,380
we will air
these show-destroying scenes
37
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,748
one after another,
38
00:01:50,748 --> 00:01:52,884
starting now.
39
00:01:55,453 --> 00:01:57,755
No, no, it can't be true!
40
00:01:57,755 --> 00:01:59,590
It is true, Carl.
41
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,659
There never was a Lenny.
42
00:02:01,659 --> 00:02:05,296
So Lenny was just a figment
of my imagination?
43
00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:06,931
I... I made him up?
44
00:02:06,931 --> 00:02:09,033
Yeah, your psyche
created "Lenny"
45
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:11,602
to help you deal
with a terrible trauma there.
46
00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:15,273
- What trauma?
- Finding out your previous best friend wasn't real.
47
00:02:15,273 --> 00:02:16,874
It's kind of a thing with you.
48
00:02:16,874 --> 00:02:20,211
Huh. Hey, I haven't seen you
in here before.
49
00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:21,879
I'm Carl. What's your name?
50
00:02:21,879 --> 00:02:23,714
Nice to meet you, Steven.
51
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,917
Aw, crap, here we go again.
52
00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:29,187
Now you see
we mean business, Disney.
53
00:02:29,187 --> 00:02:33,191
You will submit $20 million
in Bitcoin to our crypto wallet
54
00:02:33,191 --> 00:02:35,259
at the following address.
55
00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:36,627
Until the payment arrives,
56
00:02:36,627 --> 00:02:39,363
we will keep playing
these nonsensical clips
57
00:02:39,363 --> 00:02:41,699
no one was ever meant to see.
58
00:02:44,135 --> 00:02:45,570
What's his name?
59
00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:46,804
Number Eight.
60
00:02:46,804 --> 00:02:49,173
I mean, Santa's Little Helper.
61
00:02:49,173 --> 00:02:50,641
(thunder crashes)
62
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:53,511
Greetings,
lamewads from the past!
63
00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:57,014
I have come back in time to
reveal the events of the future,
64
00:02:57,014 --> 00:02:59,750
so that you can amaze the world
65
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:03,855
with your uncannily accurate
predictions!
66
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:05,990
Less yelling, more foretelling.
67
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:08,226
My first shocking prediction is,
68
00:03:08,226 --> 00:03:09,527
in 2016,
69
00:03:09,527 --> 00:03:13,231
the Nobel Prize in Economics
will go to...
70
00:03:13,231 --> 00:03:15,233
Bengt R. Holmstr öm!
71
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:17,668
Why would anyone care
if we predicted that?
72
00:03:17,668 --> 00:03:19,036
I don't know, but they will.
73
00:03:19,036 --> 00:03:20,738
Do you have anything
a little more...
74
00:03:20,738 --> 00:03:22,640
oh, impressive?
75
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,242
Donald Trump
is gonna be president.
76
00:03:24,242 --> 00:03:27,178
(screams) Less impressive!
Less impressive!
77
00:03:27,178 --> 00:03:30,314
Okay, let's see. You're gonna
want to mention gas hoarding,
78
00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:31,516
pandemics,
79
00:03:31,516 --> 00:03:34,552
Germany beats Brazil
in the 2014 World Cup,
80
00:03:34,552 --> 00:03:35,753
Disney buys Fox.
81
00:03:35,753 --> 00:03:37,622
And then they both go under?!
82
00:03:37,622 --> 00:03:39,991
No, they're both absorbed
by Panda Express.
83
00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:42,693
Pretty much everything now
is Panda Express.
84
00:03:42,693 --> 00:03:44,128
- That makes sense.
- I get it.
85
00:03:44,128 --> 00:03:46,197
Ooh! Orange chicken.
86
00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,471
Arr.
87
00:03:53,471 --> 00:03:55,473
Yarr.
88
00:03:55,473 --> 00:03:57,041
Aye.
89
00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,309
- Yarr!
- Aye!
90
00:03:59,443 --> 00:04:01,078
(gulping)
91
00:04:01,078 --> 00:04:02,213
Yarr?
92
00:04:02,213 --> 00:04:03,681
(chuckles):
Aye.
93
00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:08,586
Yarr!
94
00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:09,987
Aye!
95
00:04:13,057 --> 00:04:14,292
Aye?
96
00:04:14,292 --> 00:04:16,160
Yarr.
97
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,295
Aye?
98
00:04:17,295 --> 00:04:18,329
Yarr!
99
00:04:19,897 --> 00:04:20,898
Aye?
100
00:04:20,898 --> 00:04:21,799
Yarr!
101
00:04:21,799 --> 00:04:24,535
- Aye! Aye!
- Yarr! Yarr!
102
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,870
- Aye!
- Yarr!
103
00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:28,906
Aye!
104
00:04:29,607 --> 00:04:30,708
(sighs):
Aye!
105
00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:32,343
(sighs):
106
00:04:32,343 --> 00:04:33,978
Yarr.
107
00:04:35,012 --> 00:04:38,716
- Yarr, yarr, yarr, yarr...!
- Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!
108
00:04:42,553 --> 00:04:45,256
Till the morrow, chums!
109
00:04:45,256 --> 00:04:46,157
(groans)
110
00:04:46,157 --> 00:04:48,759
-(children laughing)
-(humming happily)
111
00:04:50,228 --> 00:04:52,029
(groans)
112
00:04:52,029 --> 00:04:53,965
WOMAN (New York accent):
Is that you, babe?
113
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:56,133
(New York accent):
Yeah, yeah, I'm home.
114
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:59,036
- Daddy! Daddy! How was school?
- Hey.
115
00:04:59,036 --> 00:05:01,272
It ain't school for Daddy, sweetheart.
116
00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:02,406
It's work.
117
00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:05,643
Soul-sucking, grueling work.
118
00:05:05,643 --> 00:05:07,011
Then why don't you quit?
119
00:05:07,011 --> 00:05:09,580
Always with the quitting,
this one.
120
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:12,016
I can't do that, Doreen!
121
00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:16,521
The police department
needs someone inside the school!
122
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:18,623
So why's it got to be you?
123
00:05:18,623 --> 00:05:19,690
Look at me, Didi.
124
00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:21,692
I'm the only 36-year-old
125
00:05:21,692 --> 00:05:23,661
who can pass for ten!
126
00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:25,663
How 'bout passing
for a good father?
127
00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:27,165
The kids hardly know you.
128
00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:30,334
You're out every afternoon
till 3:00 p. m.
129
00:05:30,334 --> 00:05:32,270
4:00 if there's chess club.
130
00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:33,671
You think I want to be there?
131
00:05:33,671 --> 00:05:35,206
Martin likes chess!
132
00:05:35,206 --> 00:05:37,041
Not me!
133
00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:42,380
I don't know where Martin ends
and my Reggie begins!
134
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,615
(crying)
135
00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:51,322
Aw, maybe you're right.
136
00:05:51,322 --> 00:05:53,124
Maybe I am in too deep.
137
00:05:53,124 --> 00:05:56,494
It's just, when I was diagnosed
with... this,
138
00:05:56,494 --> 00:05:58,796
I said,
"I'm not gonna let it beat me.
139
00:05:58,796 --> 00:06:00,898
I'm gonna use it for good!"
140
00:06:00,898 --> 00:06:03,501
I'm doing good, aren't I?
141
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:04,669
You are, Reg.
142
00:06:04,669 --> 00:06:07,472
You're a great role model
for your kids.
143
00:06:07,472 --> 00:06:09,474
All three of 'em.
144
00:06:09,474 --> 00:06:11,275
(gasps)
You mean...?
145
00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:12,577
I do.
146
00:06:13,277 --> 00:06:15,646
(distorted): They still
haven't paid the ransom.
147
00:06:15,646 --> 00:06:17,982
Did they not see
the nonsense we just released?
148
00:06:17,982 --> 00:06:20,151
How is Martin Prince
an adult cop?
149
00:06:20,151 --> 00:06:22,386
(distorted):
Well, maybe I overestimated
150
00:06:22,386 --> 00:06:24,555
how much
Disney cares about Lenny.
151
00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:26,224
No, it's not your fault.
152
00:06:26,224 --> 00:06:28,860
You're the finest
digital terrorist I know.
153
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:32,563
Your malware shut down the
Portland Airport for two weeks.
154
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:35,766
(chuckles)
Everyone missed Thanksgiving.
155
00:06:35,766 --> 00:06:38,035
It's sweet you remembered.
156
00:06:38,035 --> 00:06:41,506
Aw, you're sweet, too.
(chuckles)
157
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,141
We should probably get back to...
158
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,276
(non-distorted):
blackmailing the major corporation.
159
00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:48,579
Wait! Why did the voice-changing
app switch off?
160
00:06:48,579 --> 00:06:51,949
(non-distorted British voice):
Bollocks. I didn't upgrade to the premium edition,
161
00:06:51,949 --> 00:06:54,485
and the free trial period
ran out, I'm afraid.
162
00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:56,387
I am so daft.
163
00:06:56,387 --> 00:06:57,989
Oh, my God, you're British?
164
00:06:57,989 --> 00:07:01,626
That must be delightful
for your wife or girlfriend.
165
00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,027
Oh, no, I'm painfully single.
166
00:07:03,027 --> 00:07:05,730
Nary a romantic appointment
in my "shed-you-ul."
167
00:07:05,730 --> 00:07:07,632
Say that last part again.
168
00:07:07,632 --> 00:07:09,901
You mean... "shed-you-ul"?
169
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,737
(sultrily):
Shed-you-ul.
170
00:07:12,737 --> 00:07:14,705
MALE HACKER:
Shed-you-ul.
171
00:07:18,543 --> 00:07:20,378
-(moaning)
-(masks clacking)
172
00:07:20,378 --> 00:07:21,746
Oh! We're back on! We're live!
173
00:07:21,746 --> 00:07:23,948
Well, I-I suppose we should
threaten them some more.
174
00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:27,585
How about I just run another
batch of show-ruining clips
175
00:07:27,585 --> 00:07:28,719
so we can...
176
00:07:28,719 --> 00:07:30,688
Topple the capitalist system
177
00:07:30,688 --> 00:07:32,290
and its bought-and-paid-for...
178
00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:35,193
Political enablers.
179
00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:38,629
(speaking French)
180
00:07:38,629 --> 00:07:39,831
(chuckles)
181
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:44,368
OPERATOR:
Do you speak English?
182
00:07:49,707 --> 00:07:52,844
We're trapped!
Someone get help!
183
00:07:58,282 --> 00:08:01,285
I can't help
if I can't understand you.
184
00:08:01,285 --> 00:08:03,754
Won't anyone do something?!
185
00:08:18,669 --> 00:08:21,339
(groans) Never mind.
186
00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:25,309
Let me get this straight.
187
00:08:25,309 --> 00:08:29,313
You mowed down all that corn
to build a football field,
188
00:08:29,313 --> 00:08:32,483
hoping it would lure
the ghosts of former players
189
00:08:32,483 --> 00:08:34,452
down from football heaven?
190
00:08:34,452 --> 00:08:36,921
Uh-huh. And look!
191
00:08:38,756 --> 00:08:41,826
Hey, I don't recognize
any of these guys.
192
00:08:41,826 --> 00:08:44,562
Why are there two 50-yard lines?
193
00:08:44,562 --> 00:08:45,830
Aw, damn it!
194
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:47,965
I built a Canadian field!
195
00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,234
Oh. Sorry, hoser.
196
00:08:50,234 --> 00:08:51,335
My bad, eh?
197
00:08:51,335 --> 00:08:53,771
Hey, nice rouge there, Gordo.
198
00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:55,740
Hey, Homer!
Throw you a Hail Mary?
199
00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:58,042
Shut up, Flutie.
200
00:08:59,844 --> 00:09:03,314
Uh, yes. (clears throat)
The day is Sol, uh, 150.
201
00:09:03,314 --> 00:09:05,449
I am stranded on Mars.
202
00:09:05,449 --> 00:09:09,587
I suspect my fellow astronauts
left me behind on purpose,
203
00:09:09,587 --> 00:09:11,122
as from the bathroom
204
00:09:11,122 --> 00:09:13,324
I did hear the giggling
and the shushing
205
00:09:13,324 --> 00:09:16,828
and the "Blast off quick
before he's done tinkling."
206
00:09:16,828 --> 00:09:20,431
I have a mere three days
of air and water remaining.
207
00:09:20,431 --> 00:09:22,867
There is no hope.
208
00:09:22,867 --> 00:09:24,869
Unless
I glayvenate the hydrogen,
209
00:09:24,869 --> 00:09:26,404
flavenize the oxygen,
210
00:09:26,404 --> 00:09:29,006
and, yes, yes,
poopulate the soil!
211
00:09:29,006 --> 00:09:32,043
It was a simple matter
of applying pseudoscience
212
00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:35,913
and phantasmagorical engineering
to the problem. Yes.
213
00:09:35,913 --> 00:09:38,983
Oh, yes, I also cloned myself
for company.
214
00:09:38,983 --> 00:09:41,118
And my fellow Frinks
have built us all
215
00:09:41,118 --> 00:09:42,987
an escape rocket.
Isn't that wonderful?
216
00:09:42,987 --> 00:09:46,057
(clones laughing, chattering)
217
00:09:46,057 --> 00:09:47,525
Leaving!
218
00:09:47,525 --> 00:09:49,393
(gasps)
219
00:09:49,393 --> 00:09:51,696
Aw, flayvin me in the glayvin!
220
00:09:53,531 --> 00:09:54,999
Hello. This is Homer Simpson.
221
00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:57,068
From the bottom of my heart,
I apologize
222
00:09:57,068 --> 00:10:00,304
to the great, great,
great people of Finland
223
00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:01,339
for what I said.
224
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,307
I have done many, many,
225
00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:05,443
many, many, many episodes,
226
00:10:05,443 --> 00:10:07,378
and in one of those-- just one--
227
00:10:07,378 --> 00:10:09,013
I mixed you up with Norway.
228
00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:13,651
And I have so, so, so, so,
so much love and respect for...
229
00:10:13,651 --> 00:10:15,553
I think "Finns"
is what you're called.
230
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:17,321
And if I ever-- I mean ever--
231
00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:19,123
ever, ever, ever thought
232
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:20,858
that an innocent slip
of the tongue
233
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,593
is something
that an entire nation
234
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:23,861
could get worked up about,
235
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:26,063
I would've kept my mouth shut.
236
00:10:26,063 --> 00:10:29,967
And the scary, scary, scary,
oh-so-scary lawyers
237
00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:32,303
of the giant, giant--
I mean giant--
238
00:10:32,303 --> 00:10:35,740
so, so giant,
scary corporation I work for
239
00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:38,442
would not have had to draft
this statement.
240
00:10:38,442 --> 00:10:39,744
God bless you
241
00:10:39,744 --> 00:10:42,613
and all the peoples
of South America,
242
00:10:42,613 --> 00:10:45,116
for you are a-- What?
243
00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:47,518
What do you mean
I have to record it again?
244
00:10:47,518 --> 00:10:48,786
What did I say?
245
00:10:55,226 --> 00:10:57,595
You're chewing too loud.
246
00:10:57,595 --> 00:11:00,531
From now on,
only two chews per bite.
247
00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:03,234
One, two, swallow.
One, two, swallow.
248
00:11:03,234 --> 00:11:07,839
I think I've misplaced
my appetite, mother.
249
00:11:09,674 --> 00:11:13,778
I need to see you right now.
250
00:11:18,649 --> 00:11:19,750
I deserve this.
251
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:22,186
I deserve to feel like a man.
252
00:11:23,087 --> 00:11:26,824
Only with you
do I truly feel alive.
253
00:11:26,824 --> 00:11:29,327
I made this just for you.
254
00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:31,662
Thank you, Mother.
255
00:11:31,662 --> 00:11:36,133
Anything for my son.
I am so proud of you.
256
00:11:36,133 --> 00:11:38,836
Oh, Mommy.
I can't wait another second.
257
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,538
You know I need it.
258
00:11:40,538 --> 00:11:42,740
(sultry music playing)
259
00:12:00,558 --> 00:12:02,426
I almost forgot
to give you this.
260
00:12:02,426 --> 00:12:04,328
Leave it on the dresser.
261
00:12:07,798 --> 00:12:10,568
If only that were
my real mother.
262
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:14,906
(groans)
If only that were my real son.
263
00:12:16,707 --> 00:12:19,143
(Homer humming happily)
264
00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:21,212
I don't mean to be
unneighborly, but, uh,
265
00:12:21,212 --> 00:12:24,015
you wouldn't know what happened
to my old nostril skirt?
266
00:12:24,015 --> 00:12:27,852
Mustache you say?
Hmm, let me think.
267
00:12:27,852 --> 00:12:31,322
Stroking this goatee
I've always had.
268
00:12:31,322 --> 00:12:33,057
Stroking, stroking...
269
00:12:33,057 --> 00:12:36,727
That's it.
Boys, we're Jewish now.
270
00:12:36,727 --> 00:12:39,263
- ROD: L'chaim!
- TODD: To life!
271
00:12:41,632 --> 00:12:43,401
Mmm.
(swallows)
272
00:12:43,401 --> 00:12:45,603
From bun to pickle,
a masterpiece.
273
00:12:45,603 --> 00:12:50,074
The exquisite flavor is matched
only by the peerless mouthfeel.
274
00:12:50,074 --> 00:12:51,342
Five stars.
275
00:12:51,342 --> 00:12:53,878
Bravo, Harvey Comics, bravo.
276
00:12:53,878 --> 00:12:56,347
A stunning addition
to the Casper-verse.
277
00:12:56,347 --> 00:12:58,316
No notes. Ten stars.
278
00:12:58,316 --> 00:13:00,785
With this level of
sour cream in your blood,
279
00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:03,821
your brain is completely
starved of oxygen.
280
00:13:03,821 --> 00:13:06,057
Consequently, you're a moron.
281
00:13:06,057 --> 00:13:09,660
A perfect explanation.
Succinct and devastating.
282
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:11,429
Infinite stars!
283
00:13:11,429 --> 00:13:16,133
Best. Diagnosis. Ev--
(groaning)
284
00:13:21,372 --> 00:13:22,573
Give me a beer, pally.
285
00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:24,575
Hey, I know you, don't I?
286
00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:27,044
Nah, must be thinking
of someone else, slim.
287
00:13:27,044 --> 00:13:30,381
No, I've definitely seen
you around town.
288
00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:31,616
Sign here, chief.
289
00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:33,384
Here's your passport, gorgeous.
290
00:13:33,384 --> 00:13:35,319
Brake pads are shot, tough guy.
291
00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:36,687
Want that toasted, honcho?
292
00:13:36,687 --> 00:13:38,489
Found your car keys, big shot.
293
00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:39,957
Those were all you!
294
00:13:39,957 --> 00:13:41,792
I don't know
what to tell you, slick.
295
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:44,128
Just got that sort of face.
296
00:13:47,465 --> 00:13:49,233
ALL:
Pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
297
00:13:49,233 --> 00:13:54,238
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally...
298
00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:57,542
(moaning, smooching)
299
00:13:57,542 --> 00:13:59,043
(exclaims)
300
00:13:59,043 --> 00:14:03,381
- Oh, my God, you're beautiful.
- You're more beautiful!
301
00:14:03,381 --> 00:14:04,782
Oh. Oh, dear.
302
00:14:04,782 --> 00:14:07,952
The world has seen
our exquisite symmetrical faces.
303
00:14:07,952 --> 00:14:11,255
Then they've also seen
that we're... in love?
304
00:14:11,255 --> 00:14:12,456
My God. Yes.
305
00:14:12,456 --> 00:14:14,358
Yes, that's what it is,
isn't it?
306
00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:16,194
It is. (stammers)
It is stunning.
307
00:14:16,194 --> 00:14:19,363
As stunning as this list
of abandoned episodes
308
00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:23,134
that started as clever titles
and went nowhere.
309
00:14:23,935 --> 00:14:27,138
♪ Hopin' for the dream ♪
310
00:14:27,138 --> 00:14:28,539
♪ Hopin' ♪
311
00:14:28,539 --> 00:14:31,342
♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪
312
00:14:31,342 --> 00:14:34,512
♪ I'll keep fighting
till I want something great ♪
313
00:14:34,512 --> 00:14:37,715
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
314
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:43,321
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
315
00:14:43,321 --> 00:14:46,924
-♪ Hopin' ♪
-♪ To someday, somehow have a goal ♪
316
00:14:46,924 --> 00:14:48,159
♪ I'll keep fight... ♪
317
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,695
Are we crazy?
318
00:14:50,695 --> 00:14:53,164
Can two people,
forbidden from sharing
319
00:14:53,164 --> 00:14:56,834
any personal information,
really make a life together?
320
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,836
I do think we owe it
to each other to try,
321
00:14:58,836 --> 00:15:01,005
um... whoever you are.
322
00:15:01,005 --> 00:15:02,440
I can't wait
323
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,043
until we're
Mr. and Mrs. Redacted.
324
00:15:06,043 --> 00:15:08,846
-(banging on door)
- AGENT: FBI.
325
00:15:08,846 --> 00:15:10,381
Surrender, hacker scum!
326
00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:13,818
If we're going down,
we'll take The Simpsons with us.
327
00:15:13,818 --> 00:15:17,054
- I'm gonna play the dog scene.
-(exclaims)
328
00:15:21,092 --> 00:15:23,027
(upbeat voice):
Good morning, Homer.
329
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:27,365
It's morning?!
330
00:15:31,836 --> 00:15:33,871
-(banging on door)
- AGENT: FBI.
331
00:15:33,871 --> 00:15:35,406
We've got
you cyberterrorists surrounded.
332
00:15:35,406 --> 00:15:36,641
This is it, darling.
333
00:15:36,641 --> 00:15:38,676
I've cued up the very
worst-of-the-worst clips
334
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:39,944
to play one by one.
335
00:15:39,944 --> 00:15:42,914
When we push this button,
The Simpsons dies.
336
00:15:42,914 --> 00:15:45,349
- Together, then?
- Together.
337
00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:49,787
The lies... stop... now.
338
00:15:49,787 --> 00:15:51,455
- Aah!
-(gasps)
339
00:15:51,455 --> 00:15:53,624
I know Eddie is Ralph's father.
340
00:15:53,624 --> 00:15:56,160
Look at the hair.
Look at the hair!
341
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,896
No, Clancy,
I swear to you it's not true.
342
00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:02,266
My son's breath
smells like cat food.
343
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:03,801
Okay, you got me.
344
00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:08,873
(quietly):
I'll have the veal.
345
00:16:09,674 --> 00:16:13,311
The lies... stop... now!
346
00:16:13,311 --> 00:16:14,745
(grunts)
347
00:16:14,745 --> 00:16:16,747
I did a DNA test.
348
00:16:16,747 --> 00:16:18,483
I'm not your son.
349
00:16:18,483 --> 00:16:20,485
Luann, how could you?!
350
00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:22,119
I'm not hers either.
351
00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:24,722
We're not your parents?
352
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,224
- All right.
- Oh, thank God!
353
00:16:26,224 --> 00:16:29,060
- Yes!
- Oh...
354
00:16:29,861 --> 00:16:33,297
(weakly):
The lies... stop... now.
355
00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:34,665
-(grunts)
- Ow!
356
00:16:34,665 --> 00:16:36,801
-(groans)
- Marge,
357
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:38,703
I'm not your sister.
358
00:16:38,703 --> 00:16:40,471
I'm... your mother.
359
00:16:40,471 --> 00:16:42,406
But... but... wait, what?
360
00:16:42,406 --> 00:16:46,577
I was young and briefly hot.
It was a different time.
361
00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:50,248
Back then, we solved things
with huge lies.
362
00:16:50,248 --> 00:16:52,683
Then, who was my real father?
363
00:16:52,683 --> 00:16:55,786
His name was Disco...
(grunts)
364
00:16:55,786 --> 00:16:58,689
Disco...
(groans)
365
00:16:58,689 --> 00:17:01,325
Disco who? Disco Who?
366
00:17:02,326 --> 00:17:05,429
The lies... stop... now!
367
00:17:05,429 --> 00:17:06,597
(grunts)
368
00:17:06,597 --> 00:17:08,733
Rake-y, I'm not
your real father.
369
00:17:08,733 --> 00:17:11,702
And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh!
370
00:17:11,702 --> 00:17:14,772
Oh, don't turn your back on me.
371
00:17:15,573 --> 00:17:17,775
♪
372
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,211
MAN:
T-minus one minute to launch.
373
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:23,181
Ooh.
(chuckling)
374
00:17:23,181 --> 00:17:24,816
All for you, baby.
375
00:17:24,816 --> 00:17:26,617
-(growling)
- Aah!
376
00:17:26,617 --> 00:17:29,787
Aah! Aah!
377
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:33,424
♪ We are the jockeys,
jockeys are we ♪
378
00:17:33,424 --> 00:17:37,628
♪ We live underground
in a fiberglass tree. ♪
379
00:17:37,628 --> 00:17:39,363
-(screams)
- Opa!
380
00:17:40,331 --> 00:17:42,400
(Simpsons theme playing)
381
00:17:45,503 --> 00:17:46,938
(grunting)
382
00:17:46,938 --> 00:17:48,639
(screams)
383
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,910
It's still me on the inside.
384
00:17:55,213 --> 00:18:00,084
Sin-ner! Sin-ner!
385
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,723
Oh, Homie. You're awake.
386
00:18:05,723 --> 00:18:08,025
- What happened?
- You've been in a coma
387
00:18:08,025 --> 00:18:11,062
ever since you tried
to jump Springfield Gorge.
388
00:18:11,062 --> 00:18:12,096
How long?
389
00:18:12,096 --> 00:18:13,931
Two days ago.
390
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:17,335
Two days? But...
I had so many adventures.
391
00:18:17,335 --> 00:18:18,936
More than 700.
392
00:18:18,936 --> 00:18:22,840
Those were all coma dreams.
None of them ever happened.
393
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,143
(gasps)
The "B" stories, too?
394
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:26,611
(sobbing)
395
00:18:26,611 --> 00:18:29,380
I never had a pet lobster?
396
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,582
I never went to space?
397
00:18:31,582 --> 00:18:34,986
What about the Halloweens?!
398
00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:37,822
Drop your code and move away
from the Internet!
399
00:18:37,822 --> 00:18:39,457
You're both under arrest.
400
00:18:39,457 --> 00:18:41,826
On what charge,
grand theft heart?
401
00:18:41,826 --> 00:18:43,928
Conspiracy to commit to love?
402
00:18:43,928 --> 00:18:46,964
Willfully endangering
each other's loneliness?
403
00:18:46,964 --> 00:18:49,600
Take one more step
and I'll blow this I. P.
404
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,769
to Magic Kingdom come.
405
00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:54,505
Go ahead. You've already
released all the Simpsons files.
406
00:18:54,505 --> 00:18:55,706
No one cared.
407
00:18:55,706 --> 00:18:57,008
The only people still
watching that show
408
00:18:57,008 --> 00:18:59,677
are football fans who
passed out with the TV on.
409
00:18:59,677 --> 00:19:02,313
I am not talking
about The Simpsons.
410
00:19:02,313 --> 00:19:04,549
We've hacked into all of Disney.
411
00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:07,785
That means Star Wars,
Marvel, Pixar.
412
00:19:07,785 --> 00:19:09,120
We've even got...
413
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,055
Nat Geo.
414
00:19:11,055 --> 00:19:12,390
You monsters.
415
00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:15,426
If I press this button,
the only Hulk that exists
416
00:19:15,426 --> 00:19:17,094
will be Edward Norton.
417
00:19:17,094 --> 00:19:19,730
It'll be like Ruffalo
never happened.
418
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:21,098
You're bluffing.
419
00:19:21,098 --> 00:19:23,634
I'll delete Baby Groot,
Baby Yoda,
420
00:19:23,634 --> 00:19:27,438
and their brand-new
top secret character--
421
00:19:27,438 --> 00:19:29,307
Baby Jeff Goldblum.
422
00:19:29,307 --> 00:19:32,443
On the one hand, uh, "goo,"
423
00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:38,549
but I'd be remiss if I didn't
also mention, uh, "gaa."
424
00:19:38,549 --> 00:19:40,251
Oh, my golly.
425
00:19:40,251 --> 00:19:42,753
It's me as a baby.
426
00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:44,755
Good God, she's not bluffing.
427
00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:46,624
Stand down. Let 'em go.
428
00:19:46,624 --> 00:19:49,827
I'll do it.
429
00:19:49,827 --> 00:19:52,463
Um... we now return you
to your regularly
430
00:19:52,463 --> 00:19:54,098
"shed-you-uled" programming.
431
00:19:54,098 --> 00:19:55,166
(sighs):
Oh.
432
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:59,203
How do you lose two children?!
433
00:19:59,203 --> 00:20:02,073
What kind of jamboree
are you running here?
434
00:20:02,073 --> 00:20:04,375
(both shuddering)
435
00:20:04,375 --> 00:20:05,376
(Homer and Marge gasp)
436
00:20:05,376 --> 00:20:06,944
HOMER:
Yeah, you're back.
437
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,847
(smooching)
438
00:20:09,847 --> 00:20:10,882
Ew.
439
00:20:10,882 --> 00:20:13,851
When we get home,
can we turn on the TV
440
00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:17,922
and never, ever go
outdoors again?
441
00:20:17,922 --> 00:20:20,858
- Please?
- Pretty please?
442
00:20:20,858 --> 00:20:24,195
I've never been
prouder of you two.
443
00:20:24,195 --> 00:20:25,563
While you were gone,
444
00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:27,031
your mom and I
almost got divorced
445
00:20:27,031 --> 00:20:28,799
over something insignificant.
446
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:31,569
Luckily, your dad apologized.
447
00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:33,604
Yup, I got it down
at this point.
448
00:20:33,604 --> 00:20:35,907
It's all about the eye contact.
449
00:20:35,907 --> 00:20:38,209
MARGE:
He knows what works.
450
00:20:38,209 --> 00:20:40,945
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
451
00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:43,447
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
452
00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:45,917
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
453
00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:51,522
(female hacker whoops, laughs)
454
00:20:51,522 --> 00:20:53,191
Maybe we didn't get the Bitcoin,
455
00:20:53,191 --> 00:20:54,859
but we've got each other.
456
00:20:54,859 --> 00:20:56,160
Oh, darling,
I think we should do it,
457
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,463
I think we should tell
each other our real names.
458
00:20:59,463 --> 00:21:00,998
My name is Ashley.
459
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:03,267
-(tires screeching)
- No! So is mine.
460
00:21:03,267 --> 00:21:04,502
- Oh...
- Ashley.
461
00:21:04,502 --> 00:21:05,736
Oh, Ashley.
462
00:21:05,736 --> 00:21:09,273
- Ashley, Ashley.
- Oh, oh, British Ashley. Mmm...
463
00:21:29,393 --> 00:21:31,062
Shh!
464
00:21:31,112 --> 00:21:35,662
Repair and Synchronization by
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