Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story ♪

♪ Of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up ♪

♪ Three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪

♪ Like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group ♪

♪ Must somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

( sighs)

( chuckles)

( sighs)

Oops!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm not.

I've been wanting to meet you.

I'm Jennifer Nichols.

Hi. I'm Greg Brady.

I know.

I've been, uh, aware of you for a long time,

but you probably didn't notice.

Are you kidding?

Look, I've been wanting to meet you, too.

You know, I bet we have a lot in common.

I'll bet we have.

What do you like?

Movies? Sports? Surfing?

Are you a surfer?

Yeah, yeah.

Fantastic!

Well, I should have known, with a physique like yours.

Oh, well, I kind of lift weights to keep in shape.

Oh. Maybe I should try that.

What for?

Your shape doesn't need any improving.

Thanks. I'd still love to learn to surf, though.

Maybe I could teach you a few things.

Great! I'm not doing a thing Saturday.

You are now.

Pick you up at 10:00.

Hey, uh... don't you want my number?

Yeah.

Here. I, uh... Wait. No, I have...

8-1-4... 9-0-3-1.

See you later... Greggy.

One, two, tell me who are you... the Bears!

Three, four, tell me who's gonna score... the Bears!

Five, six, tell me who's got the kicks... the Bears!

Well, that was the beginning.

What do you think?

It looks like you're swatting a fly.

What are you knocking yourself out for?

Because I want to be chosen the head cheerleader, that's why.

Well, how can you miss?

Greg's the chairman of the committee

that's picking the head cheerleader.

Well, what's that got to do with it?

Well, Greg's your brother.

So what?

Brothers and sisters

are relatives... get it?

Cindy, I'm going to win this fair and square,

brother or no brother.

MARCIA: Hi.

Hello.

What's with him?

Baloney! Joe Namath has a better passing average...

Almost six out of ten. That's 60%.

But Roman Gabriel has a better passing average.

I'll prove it.

Greg, what's Joe Namath's passing average?

814-9031.

Hi, Greg.

Hi, Mom.

How was school today?

Couldn't be better.

Hi, Alice.

ALICE: Hi.

I think he's invented a new subject:

Frozen Geometry.

Hi, son.

Hi, Dad.

Watch this.

( laughing)

Jack Nicklaus, eat your heart out.

Great putt, Dad.

Oh, we're gonna murder them tomorrow.

Murder who?

Joe Nelson and that overgrown son of his.

He's been needling me all week

'cause they beat us on Saturday.

Oh, no... I forgot

all about our game tomorrow, Dad.

Huh?

I met this fantastic girl in school today,

and I sort of made a date with her for Saturday.

( chuckling): All right, say no more.

I remember the priorities at your age.

I'll get another partner.

Thanks, Dad.

Greg, you, uh, left these

in the refrigerator.

In the refrigerator?

Yes.

Boy, that must be some girl.

Oh, yeah, some girl.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, well, maybe I can get

Sam Murdoch for tomorrow.

Mike? Mm-hmm.

Listen, I was thinking.

You know, if I took a lesson or two

I could learn to play golf

and then you wouldn't have to go looking

for a partner.

A lesson or two? Yeah.

Honey, golf is a very complicated game.

Yes, but I'm very good at sports.

You must admit, I'm a very good swimmer.

Well, yes, but swimming is one thing

and golf is another.

Listen, it's taken me years and years of practice

just to be terrible.

Greg, if you're going surfing,

how come you're combing your hair?

He must have a new girlfriend.

He always combs his hair when he has a new girlfriend.

Don't you guys have anything to do besides watch me?

What's she like, Greg?

What's it to you?

She's got to be a real beast,

or he'd want to talk about her.

He's probably going out with King Kong's sister.

Yeah, where'd you meet her,

on top of the Empire State Building?

( imitating gorillas grunting)

Keep it up. When I come back,

I'll bring you two monkeys a bunch of bananas.

( laughing)

( both grunting)

"Place extended left hand over top of shaft

with three knuckles visible."

Okay. Yeah, I think so.

Right. "Place... place right hand over the left

"so that the right palm covers

"the left thumb.

Okay, uh... "With toes pointed outward...

slightly squat..."

Yeah. Bend at the waist."

Yeah. "Pivot hips to the right,

"shoulder under the chin

and bring club head slowly back."

Okay, just a min... You get your club head slowly back?

Yeah. Just a second.

"Keeping head steady, eyes on the ball

start your downswing."

( soft thud)

Guess we'd better try that again, huh, Alice?

Next time, holler "Fore," would you?

I'm sorry.

What'll you have?

Hmm, I don't know.

You decide for me.

Okay.

Two Chihuahuas, please.

Light on the mustard, heavy on the piccalilli.

Double order of French fries and two orange drinks.

Oh, Greg, y-you're so sure of yourself.

Well, it's... it's just a matter of self-confidence.

That's one of your most appealing traits.

I mean, so few real men are.

( chuckles)

And, uh... why didn't you tell me

you were such a fantastic surfer?

I wouldn't say fantastic.

( giggles): But you are.

I bet it ruined your whole day,

having to teach a beginner like me.

Oh, no, I loved it.

You weren't scared, were you?

Scared? How could I be scared

with your big, strong arms around me to protect me?

Well, I... wouldn't want to lose my prized pupil, would I?

Oh... here we are.

Thanks.

Mm! This is good.

You certainly can pick 'em.

Yes, I certainly can pick 'em.

Oh, Greggy.

Here comes lover boy.

Oh, I'm swooning with love.

Sigh!

Okay, listen, you guys.

I'm bringing Jennifer over

to meet Mom and Dad.

I don't want any clowning around.

Understand?

Who? Us?

Yeah.

If you want to clown around,

go join the circus.

GREG: Hi, Mom.

Hi, Greg.

Did you have a good time?

The best day of my life.

Mom, I want to bring Jennifer over to meet you and Dad.

Oh? Well, sure, Greg.

We'd love to meet her.

How about tonight?

I'm taking her out to a movie.

Didn't you see enough of her today?

Mom, can a person get tired of looking at the Mona Lisa?

( sighs)

Mona Lisa!

Did he really say that?

He sure did.

Mona Lisa may have the smile,

but, apparently, Jennifer's got everything else

to go along with it. ( chuckles)

I'm sure you're going to like them.

Don't be nervous.

( whispers): Okay.

Mom, Dad... this is Jennifer Nichols.

Hello. Hi, Jennifer.

Hello, Jennifer.

So, you're Greg's father.

Well, it's certainly not hard to see

where Greg gets his good looks.

( sheepish chuckle)

What a marvelous house you have here, Mrs. Brady!

It's no wonder Greg has such good taste.

Isn't she something?

Yeah, she sure is.

Yes, indeed.

What a lovely picture!

Are these all your children?

Gee, I sure hope so. ( chuckles)

Your other two sons are very nice-looking, Mr. Brady,

but Greg, well...

Did you two kids enjoy surfing today?

Oh, at first I was terrified,

but when you're with someone

who's so strong and capable...

Now, Jennifer... You know you are, Greggy!

Greggy?

I think if we're going to go to that movie, we should get started.

MIKE: What picture are you gonna see?

Uh, they got a great science-fiction picture playing at the Cornet.

It's really exciting. I saw it.

Oh, uh, well, we could go see something else.

JENNIFER: Oh, no, Greg.

You want to see that picture, then that's where we're going.

Oh, no, it's not that important, Jennifer.

I'll be happy to see it again.

It was a pleasure to meet you.

You, too, Jennifer.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

CAROL: Have fun.

Thanks.

Good night.

Talk about a snow job.

Yeah... boy,

she could give lessons to Jack Frost.

What do you suppose she's after?

Well, I don't know.

But I get the feeling

that whatever Jennifer wants Jennifer gets.

What's so important about

being an old cheerleader, anyway?

Well, it's a great honor.

It shows you've got spirit.

Helps you inspire people.

And you get to meet all the football players.

Let me see now...

I'd better try that one more time.

Okay? Ready? And... Three, four...

show me who's going to score!

Hey, that'll really fire them up, huh, Greg?

No comment.

What do you mean, "no comment"?

If you're trying to influence me

because I'm chairman of the judging committee,

you're wasting your time.

Influence you?

I just wanted your opinion.

Just because you're my sister

don't expect any favors.

Who's asking for any?

When I vote, Marcia,

it doesn't matter who the contestant is.

I'm going to be fair and impartial.

( phone rings)

Hello.

JENNIFER: Hi, Greggy.

Oh, just a minute.

Do you mind? I'd like a little privacy.

My pleasure.

Hello, Jennifer.

I wanted to thank you for the movie.

I just found out the craziest coincidence.

What's that?

I didn't know you were

on the committee to pick the head cheerleader!

I'm the chairman.

What's the coincidence?

I'm entering the contest to be the head cheerleader.

You're entering the contest?

That's the dream I've always had...

To be the head cheerleader.

Wish me luck, Greggy.

Bye.

Bye.

( line clicks)

GREG: When I vote, Marcia, it doesn't matter who the contestant is.

I'm going to be fair and impartial.

Wish me luck.

JENNIFER: Hi.

Hi.

Glad I ran into you.

I wanted to ask you something.

Sure. About what?

Cheerleader tryouts.

Not about the cheers or anything.

I-I wouldn't want to use our friendship

that way, would I, Greggy?

Of course not.

I thought I'd wear this at the tryouts.

I picked blue

because it's, uh, your favorite color, Greggy.

How do you think it looks?

I think it looks terrific.

I hoped you'd say that.

Better get to class. Bye. ( blowing kiss)

Well, if it isn't Mr. Fair-and-Impartial.

What's that supposed to mean?

You wouldn't even watch me practice,

but you can help her pick an outfit.

Marcia, if you think I'd vote for her just 'cause she's...

Your girlfriend, Greggy?

Look, she has just as much right to enter the contest as anybody.

Even more... she's already got one sure vote.

Oh, come on, Marcia.

Well, I've got one consolation... There are three other judges.

At least I've got a chance to win their votes fair and square.

See, you're doing just fine, Mrs. Brady.

It's not your fault if the ball won't cooperate.

Golf isn't a game; it's a form of torture.

Hi, Mom.

Hey, Alice.

You kids home from school already?

My goodness, I had no idea it was so late.

What are you doing?

Oh, well, I was, uh...

trying to surprise your father

by learning how to play golf.

It's a lot tougher than I thought.

Doesn't look tough to me.

All's you have to do is hit the ball

in that little thing?

That's all.

Can I try it?

Sure. Be my guest.

See? It's not so tough.

Well... there goes what's left of my ego.

Here I've been trying to do this for hours

Bobby walks up, without hardly looking, just...

Alice! I did it!

Mrs. Brady, I think you've found

the secret to golf... don't look.

Wow, am I beat.

You'll probably be practicing in your sleep.

What are you working so hard for?

'Cause I'm fighting an uphill battle.

What do you mean?

I mean Jennifer Nichols.

She's got Greg twisted around her finger so tight

that he wouldn't sneeze without her permission.

You're kidding!

No!

You should've seen her at school this morning.

"I picked blue because it's your favorite color...

Greggy."

Greggy?

My only chance now of getting an honest vote

is from those three other judges.

Do you think that Greg would vote for his girlfriend

against his own sister?

Jan, you don't know anything about life.

( sighs)

( door opens and closes)

Hi, honey. I'm home.

Hi.

Hey, what happened to your hand?

Blisters.

Well, what have you been doing... chopping wood?

Mike, I've got two surprises for you:

The first, I got these blisters

while I was trying to learn how to play golf.

You're kidding.

I figured, if you ever needed a partner, I'd be ready.

Oh... honey, that's sweet of you.

That's very sweet.

What's the second surprise?

My five iron.

I did it while I was practicing.

I'm sorry.

Oh, honey...

Well, this will come in handy

if I ever want to shoot around a tree.

( chuckles)

I got it!

What happened?

What's the matter?

I figured out my problem with Marcia and Jennifer.

For that you have to wake us up?

We were fast asleep.

I've been worried about nothing.

I'm the chairman of that committee.

When the three judges pick the winner,

I won't even have to vote.

I'm off the hook!

GREG ( chuckles): That was fine.

The next contestant is Pat Conway.

Ready, gang, hit it!

One, two, tell me who are you... the Bears!

Three, four, tell me who's going to score... the Bears!

Five, six, tell me who's got the kicks... the Bears!

Seven, eight, tell me who's really great... the Bears!

Nine, ten, tell me who's going to win... the Bears!

Say it again... the Bears!

Who's going to win? The Bears... yay!

( applause)

Thanks, Pat. That was great.

Uh, the next one... is Marcia Brady.

Ready, and...

One, two, tell me who are you... the Bears!

Three, four, tell me who's got the score... the Bears!

Five, six, tell me who's got the kicks... the Bears!

Seven, eight, tell me who's really great... the Bears!

Nine, ten, tell me who's going to win... the Bears!

Say it again... the Bears!

Say it again... the Bears!

Yay, team!

( applause) Thank you, Marcia.

The last contestant is Jennifer Nichols.

Ready, and...

One, two, tell me who are you... the Bears.

Three, four, tell me who's going to score... the Bears.

Five, six, tell me who's got the kicks... the Bears.

Seven, eight, tell me who's really great... the Bears.

Nine, ten, tell me who's going to win... the Bears.

Say it again... who's going to win? The Bears.

Yay, Bears!

( applause)

Uh, thank you, Jennifer.

If the judges will tally their scores,

we'll have a winner.

May I have the papers, please?

We have one vote for Jennifer Nichols.

One vote for Marcia Brady.

And we have one vote for Pat Conway.

Looks like we have a three-way tie.

In the event of a three-way tie, the chairman decides it.

That's me.

Baloney! I bet Greg voted for Marcia.

And I say he voted for Jennifer.

You'll see when he gets here.

Why should he vote for Jennifer

instead of his own sister?

Peter, you don't know anything about life.

Hey, Dad, is Mom getting any better?

Well, she's great, as long as she keeps her eyes closed.

Aw... Honey, wait a minute, no.

You've got to relax your hips a little bit here.

Ah, who cares if I'm good or bad?

Huh? The lessons are terrific.

Hi. CAROL: Hi.

MIKE: Hi.

CAROL: Well, is the contest over?

Yeah. What happened?

Well, it was a three-way tie.

I had to cast the deciding vote.

Of all the luck.

Jennifer?

Marcia.

No. I voted for Pat.

Pat?

GREG: Pat Conway.

I really thought she was the best.

Now Marcia and Jennifer

are both going to hate me.

Here it comes.

Hi, Mom, hi, Dad. CAROL: Hi.

Hi, Marcia. Hi, Greg.

You're still talking to me?

Greg, I take back what I said.

You've got a lot more character

than I gave you credit for.

You mean that?

Yeah. You know, I would have liked to have won,

but Pat was the best.

She deserved to win.

Well, it doesn't sound like she hates you.

Say, if Marcia isn't mad,

maybe Jennifer won't be mad, either.

( chuckling)

After all, Jennifer's crazy about me.

( line ringing)

JENNIFER: Hello?

Hi, Jennifer... Greggy.

Say, Marcia understood why I voted for Pat, and I'm sure...

( click)

Hello?

Hello?

She, uh... hung up on me.

You know, it could be... What?

Well... this may sound ridiculous,

but it's just possible

that Jennifer was trying to use me

to win that cheerleading contest.

Well, I guess that's possible.

Yeah, that's it.

You can take it from me, Dad,

because if there's one thing I know about, it's women.

( both chuckling)

( door opens and closes)

Hi.

GREG AND MIKE: Hi.

Well, did you have a good game?

Oh, best day I ever had on the golf course.

Remember, Dad, every Saturday from now on, we got a date, huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Boy, he must've had a great score.

Never played worse.

Why all the enthusiasm?

Because of something he saw in the pro shop.

A new set of golf clubs? A new golf bag?

Golf pro's daughter.

Blond, blue-eyed and a figure like... oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

I'll fix you something cold to drink.

Yep. If it's one thing he knows about,

it's women.