Original subtitles

♪ Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪

♪ Who was bringing up three very lovely girls ♪

♪ All of them had hair of gold like their mother ♪

♪ The youngest one in curls ♪

♪ It's the story of a man named Brady ♪

♪ Who was busy with three boys of his own ♪

♪ They were four men living all together ♪

♪ Yet they were all alone ♪

♪ Till the one day when ♪

♪ The lady met this fellow ♪

♪ And they knew that it was ♪

♪ Much more than a hunch ♪

♪ That this group must ♪

♪ Somehow form a family ♪

♪ That's the way we all ♪

♪ Became the Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ The Brady Bunch ♪

♪ That's the way we became the Brady Bunch. ♪

He's still at it.

Incredible.

Just a moment, Corporal.

Notify the drill sergeant

that General Washington

is ready to inspect the troops.

Get somebody else to notify them.

I don't want to be late for school.

Why don't you knock off

the George Washington routine?

I have to practice for my audition.

It's the biggest part in the school play.

Keep it up, George.

You'll be the first general

who ever got kicked out of his room.

All right men, hear this:

Tonight we cross the Delaware

and attack the British at Trenton.

Okay, who am I supposed to be?

Mickey Mouse.

Mickey Mouse?!

She's only kidding, honey.

We know you were being George Washington. You did?

Sure. Good luck, General.

We will be rooting for you

at your audition today.

Thanks. I'm off... to Valley Forge.

( whistles)

Hold it, General.

It might be a long, hard winter.

Better take your lunch.

Oh, it's beautiful, Mike.

Yeah. Mrs. Foster called it her dream house.

What did Mr. Foster call it?

Well, when he heard the price,

he told her to stop dreaming.

JAN: Mom? Dad? Where are you?

Yeah, honey. We're in here.

Oh, I really like... Guess what!

What?

I got picked to be in the school play

about George Washington.

Oh, that's terrific! Hey, congratulations.

Well, I'm not exactly in it.

I mean, not as an actor.

What are you going to be... The cherry tree?

You're close. I'm in charge

of the scenery and special effects.

Hey, now that's quite a job.

How did you get picked for that?

Well, I'm the only one in school

with the most important qualification.

What qualification?

I have a father who's an architect.

Oh...

Will you help me design the scenery, Dad?

Sure. How about that?

200 years after the Revolutionary War,

and I get drafted for it.

Hey, how did Peter do in the auditions?

Well, he must have done great 'cause,

when I left, he was all smiles.

Good. Oh, good.

Hi. Hi.

Hey, wait a minute. Why the long face?

Yeah, I've seen you look happier

the day before report cards.

Didn't the audition go well?

It went fine. Miss Bailey said I was terrific.

Hah! Thank goodness, There, for a minute,

I thought you didn't get the part.

I didn't. Miss Bailey said

lots of guys could play George Washington.

She wanted me to take the harder part.

Well, that's a compliment. What's the part?

Benedict Arnold.

It's a smaller part,

and Benedict Arnold even has to die at the end.

Well, that's better than dying at the beginning.

Right.

Well, I'm not going to do it.

I'm quitting the play.

Peter... Peter...

That's not like you, honey.

You've never quit anything before.

But I wanted to be George Washington.

Oh, honey, everybody can't be George Washington.

Remember that time on your baseball team?

You wanted to be the pitcher

but the coach needed you in the outfield?

Did you quit?

No.

Well, it's the same with Miss Bailey.

She needs her best players in the right parts.

She must think you could be a very good Benedict Arnold.

I guess I could.

Unless you think the part is too hard for you.

Are you kidding?

I can do it easy.

General Washington, I, Benedict Arnold,

place myself under your command.

That's the spirit, Benedict.

You go do your homework

and I'll keep an eye out for the redcoats.

Is that the way you want the clouds, Jan?

Yeah, that's good... dark and gloomy. Right.

What are you painting, Cindy?

I'm painting the moon.

I already did the moon.

I'm fixing it up.

What did you do that for?

I think everybody should have a nice day.

Even George Washington.

( loud hammering)

Greg, how's it going?

How's it look?

Great, but aren't the waves kind of high?

Because when you put them in front of the boat,

you won't be able to see the boat.

Well, there's only one thing to do...

Either we raise the boat or we lower the Delaware.

Hi.

Hi. Well, what do you think?

It looks exactly like the boat

that's in the picture of George Washington.

Yeah, well, not exactly.

This boat has one thing

that even George Washington's boat didn't have.

What?

Roller skates.

( both laughing)

( with deep voice): Come in.

Ah. Major Andre, I presume.

Won't you... have a seat?

Thank you, General Arnold.

My Commander, General Clinton,

of the British Fifth Army,

sends his compliments.

Is that all he sent, Major?

I don't understand, sir.

I refer to the money for the plans to West Point...

The key to the American defenses.

I trust the British

don't expect them for nothing.

If I, General Benedict Arnold,

hero of the Battle of Ticonderoga,

is going to betray his country,

he expects to be paid for it,

and handsomely.

I'm here to discuss the terms, old chap.

There'll be no discussion!

The price is £10,000, Major Andre.

10,000 pounds of what?!

That's British money, dummy.

Major Andre was a British officer.

( affecting accent): Oh, I see.

Lower your voice, sir.

If you were discovered on American soil,

it could mean both our necks.

But £10,000, General Arnold!

Turning traitor doesn't come easy to me, Major,

and it won't come cheap to the British armies.

That's terrific.

You were great, General Arnold.

And you weren't bad either, Major Andre.

Thanks, old chap.

But the major's cutting out

for a spot of milk.

You know, Benedict Arnold's not an easy part to play, Mom.

Well, that's probably why Miss Bailey wanted you to play it.

I guess it was like you were saying.

Not everybody can be George Washington.

Some guys are better in the outfield.

And from what I've read George Washington

wouldn't have been a very good outfielder either.

Why?

He barely made it

when he threw that dollar across the Potomac.

Lower your voice, sir.

If you were discovered on American soil,

it could mean both our necks.

Hey, that's terrific, gang.

Okay, everybody, ready?

Ready. Yeah.

All right, here we go.

Row, row... Hey, watch it.

Hey, there's a switch.

The boat stayed afloat and the waves sank.

Better watch out for sharks.

( all shouting suggestions)

Attaboy.

( chuckles)

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Everybody in the boat?

Ready? Okay, here we go.

( excited chatter)

Hi, Peter. What are you doing?

Studying my script.

I'm in the school play.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I'm playing Benedict Arnold.

Benedict Arnold?

Yeah. It's a great part.

Well, it is if you like being a traitor.

Hey, Pete.

Hi, Harv.

Did you get the part of George Washington?

I could have, but Miss Bailey gave me a better part.

A real tough part. Which one?

Well, it's the toughest part for a guy to play.

Uh... Betsy Ross?

No. Benedict Arnold.

Benedict Arnold?!

Yeah. How about that?

Traitor.

Hey, Steve, what's the hurry?

I'm going over to the park.

We're getting up a ball game. Come on.

I'll be over right after rehearsal.

I'm in the school play.

Yeah? What part did you get?

Benedict Arnold.

Benedict Arnold?

( hissing)

Very funny.

Save me a place on the team, will you?

What for? So you can throw the game, Benedict?

There'll be no discussion.

The price is £10,000, Major Andre.

But that's a lot of money, General.

Lower your voice.

If you are discovered on American soil,

it can mean both our necks.

But £10,000, General Arnold.

A small price to ensure

the capture of West Point by the British.

Anyway, I might not

even sell the plans, after all.

Peter, that's not in the script.

The line is,

"Turning traitor doesn't come easy to me, Major."

Miss Bailey, does Benedict Arnold have to be a traitor?

What?

I mean, wouldn't it be better

if Major Andre stole the plans,

and we made Benedict Arnold the good guy?

Peter, we can't rewrite the American Revolution.

According to all the history books,

Benedict Arnold was a traitor.

But the books could be wrong.

I mean, there wasn't anybody in the room

but the two guys when it happened.

Why can't we give the American guy the benefit of the doubt?

Peter, I think we'd better stick with the script.

Well, that's enough for today.

Cast dismissed till tomorrow.

What are you trying to do...

Make me the rat for stealing the plans?

Major Andre could have done it.

Boy, that was a pretty crummy trick.

Well, no one knows for sure.

When they picked you to be the traitor,

they really picked the right guy. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah?

Hey, Peter... come here.

What happened?

Where did you get that bloody nose?

At rehearsal.

What were you rehearsing... The Boston Massacre?

I got in a fight with one of the guys.

I'm getting fed up

with everybody teasing me...

Calling me a traitor...

All the guys booing and hissing me.

Pete, don't let it get you down.

It's just a part in a play.

Well, Miss Bailey can get someone else

to play Benedict Arnold.

You're not quitting, are you?

You'd better believe it.

You can't quit. You promised Mom and Dad.

Oh, yeah. I did, didn't I?

Okay, I won't quit.

Attaboy.

I've got a better idea.

I'll get myself thrown out of the play.

Thank you, General Arnold.

My commander, General Clinton of the British Fifth Army,

sends his compliments.

Go on, Peter. You have the next line.

I'm sorry, Miss Bailey.

Can you give me the first word?

"Is."

Is. Is, uh... uh...?

Is, uh...?

Can you give me the second word?

"Is that all he sent, Major?"

Is that all he sent, Major?

I don't understand, sir.

I refer to the money for the plans to, uh... uh...

What's the name of the place?

West Point, dumb-dumb.

Peter, what is wrong?

You were fine up until now.

I guess it's because

I'm reading out of my script.

My memory's just no good.

Oh, you're probably just having

a little attack of nerves, that's all.

Suppose I get a big attack the night of the play?

Maybe you should get someone else.

Let me have your script, Peter.

I don't blame you

for taking away my part, Miss Bailey.

If I can't remember my lines, I shouldn't be in the play.

Peter, come here.

This is an old actor's trick.

Now, we just paste your lines

on top of these plans to West Point.

Then, if you get stuck,

all you have to do is read them.

I'll bet you never thought of that.

No, I didn't.

Oh, Mom, wait till you see it.

It looks so neat, and it works really good.

Oh, oh.

It's for the scene where George Washington

chops down the cherry tree.

I'll be George Washington.

Did Dad design that for you?

Yeah, but I made an improvement.

Watch. When Bobby chops it the tree will fall over.

Okay, chop, Bobby.

( laughing)

Yeah, that's a very interesting improvement.

( both laughing)

Coming to breakfast?

I'll be down in a couple of minutes.

Pete, look, if you're still trying

to get out of that play, forget it.

There's no way out.

There's got to be a way out.

Ow, ow, ow... ( shouting): Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

CAROL: Peter!

Peter, are you all right? What happened?

I tripped over the skate and twisted my ankle.

Let me see.

Oh, Mike, what do you think?

I don't know.

Well, the skin's not broken.

There doesn't seem to be swelling.

Huh. Maybe you ought to stay home from school today.

Uh, no, no. I don't want to miss rehearsal

for the play... I'll be okay.

You sure? Yeah.

BAILEY: All right, now, girls, you try on your costumes.

And, boys, we'll try the Valley Forge scene.

Hi, Miss Bailey. Sorry I'm late.

Peter, what happened to you?

Well, there was this roller skate in my room,

and while I was practicing my lines, I tripped over it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Does it hurt?

The pain's not bad.

It's just that I can't walk without this limp.

So I guess I'm out of the show.

I wouldn't dream of letting you go.

Huh? You don't want a Benedict Arnold who limps!

Peter, didn't you know?

Benedict Arnold was wounded at the Battle of Saratoga.

He had a limp for the rest of his life.

He did?

Which leg?

Same one as yours.

Isn't that lucky?

Yeah, really lucky.

Okay, I think we're about ready for winter at Valley Forge.

Okay, here goes.

Hey, terrific!

I'm beginning to feel cold already.

Jan! Telephone. Miss Bailey from school.

Oh. Well, she probably wants to know

about the sets for dress rehearsal.

Now, be careful, honey. Okay.

Hi.

Hey, aren't you home from rehearsal

a little bit early?

( hoarsely): I can't talk. Huh?

Laryngitis.

Well, that's sudden. When did it happen?

During rehearsal.

Will you be able to do your part in the play?

Miss Bailey's getting someone else.

What luck.

That's tough, Pete...

Especially after all the time

you put in on it.

I better go gargle or something.

His laryngitis seems to have cured his ankle.

Yeah. I noticed that, too.

What's the matter, Jan?

Well, the play is off

because Peter has laryngitis.

Miss Bailey said to just stop making the sets

because she can't find a replacement in time.

Did you tell Peter that?

No, I didn't have the heart to.

It would make him feel worse if he knew that.

Let's see how much worse.

( knock on door)

( regular voice): Come in.

( hoarsely): I was just going to go gargle.

Peter, you must really feel bad

about having to drop out of the play this way.

Oh, yeah, real bad.

Peter, this morning it was your ankle;

this afternoon it's laryngitis.

Now, I want you to level with us.

You don't want to be in that play, do you?

No, I don't.

Well, why, Peter? You said you were gonna be

the best Benedict Arnold ever.

Well, you don't know what it's been like... everybody riding me,

booing and hissing me, 'cause I'm playing a traitor.

Oh, come on, listen, because you dropped out,

the whole play is off. What do you mean, off?

Miss Bailey can get someone else.

No, honey, she can't... There isn't enough time.

Gee, I-I never thought that'd happen.

Yes, and you let a whole lot of people down, too, you know.

All those kids who worked on the show, and Miss Bailey,

and even the audience.

You know, that's pretty much

what the real Benedict Arnold did, isn't it?

I never thought of it that way.

Yes, but that's the way it is, isn't it, Peter?

Yeah. If I don't play the part of a traitor, I'll be a traitor.

Well, that's just about it.

I'm here to discuss the terms, old chap.

There will be no discussion!

The price is £10,000, Major Andre.

That's a lot of money, General.

Lower your voice, sir.

If you are discovered on American soil,

it could mean both our necks.

But £10,000, General Arnold.

A small price to ensure the capture of West Point

by the British.

Turning traitor doesn't come easy to me,

and it won't come cheap to the British armies.

Very good, boys!

Draw the curtain, please!

Donna, your speech comes now.

Major Andre was captured and convicted as a spy.

But what of Benedict Arnold, who fled to the English side

to serve against his country for the rest of the war?

We take you now to a country home in England

21 years later.

( applause)

I fear the end is near.

It grows darker, ever darker.

But my poor, dear husband.

Hark!

Who goes there?

Give me the password.

His mind wanders in his last moments.

Benedict, it is your wife Peggy.

Do you not recognize my voice?

Yes, it is Peggy.

My mind plays me tricks.

I'm going fast.

Oh, my dear beloved.

My life passes before me.

Once again I am bargaining with Major Andre

for the price of my betrayal.

Oh, forgive me.

I die a broken man.

He sleeps at last.

I can't sleep.

I am haunted by the nightmare of my past.

Oh, forgive me.

I forgive you. Not you.

I beg forgiveness of George Washington

and the United States of America,

to whom I pledge my allegiance for now and evermore.

Wife, wouldst give me my old uniform?

On the instant, dear heart.

Honey, Peter forgot to take his boots off

after that last scene.

I guess he wants to die with his boots on.

Here it is, dear spouse... Your old uniform.

Thank you, wife.

( coughing)

May God forgive me

for ever putting on another uniform.

He is gone.

Benedict Arnold is no more.

That's fine, children.

I just hope our performance goes as well tomorrow night.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I want to thank you all for being here,

and a special thanks to Mr. Brady

for helping us with our sets,

and to Mrs. Dineen for her work on the costumes.

Thank you.

( applause)

Hey.

Well, how was I?

Aw, you were terrific.

You were just great.

Miss Bailey, you did a wonderful job with the kids.

Oh, thank you.

You deserve credit, too.

How did you ever get Peter over his laryngitis so quickly?

Well, we used an old family remedy.

Oh, I'll bet I know... That dreadful stuff

you have to mix something sweet with to get it down.

No, Miss Bailey, Dad just gave it to me straight.

Oh, Mike.

I, George Washington, your Commander in Chief,

command you to row for the far shore.

Will you cut that out, Pete?

You're Benedict Arnold in that play.

I know, but I still think

I could have done a great George Washington.

I can just see myself

standing on the bow of the boat

crossing the Delaware.

I, George Washington, your Commander in Chief,

command you to row for the far shore.

Uh... General, you know,

there's one thing missing.

What's that?

The spray of water in your face.

( laughs)