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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:04,621 --> 00:00:06,522
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
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♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
7
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
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♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:36,618
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
13
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♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
14
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:44,042
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
15
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:47,662
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:50,015
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
17
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,284
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
18
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:58,223
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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I made out the
shopping list, Mrs. Brady
20
00:01:08,952 --> 00:01:11,097
finished the washing,
and I don't think...
21
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Alice, will you please
stop worrying, we'll be fine.
22
00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:14,489
Now just have a nice vacation.
23
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I will, I really will.
24
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,360
You know, it just broke my heart
25
00:01:18,429 --> 00:01:21,063
saying good-bye to the
children this morning.
26
00:01:21,131 --> 00:01:23,165
It's just going to
seem like a year
27
00:01:23,233 --> 00:01:24,632
before I see them again.
28
00:01:24,701 --> 00:01:26,529
Alice, you're only
going to be gone a week.
29
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,887
So I'm 358 days off.
30
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,539
Well, they're going
to miss you, too.
31
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:33,202
Well, I wouldn't
go if I didn't know
32
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,204
you'll have a first-rate
pinch hitter for me.
33
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,439
You're gonna love
my Cousin Emma.
34
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,091
Oh, yeah. I'm sure we will.
35
00:01:38,115 --> 00:01:40,699
Like I said, she's
efficient, well-organized...
36
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,250
a born manager.
37
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,890
Oh, there she is now.
38
00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:11,713
Hi, Emma.
39
00:02:15,819 --> 00:02:17,402
Hi there, Alice.
40
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,115
My, it's good to see you.
41
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,572
You, too.
42
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,623
Emma, meet Mr. And Mrs. Brady.
43
00:02:22,692 --> 00:02:23,812
Hello, Emma.
44
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,494
Hi, it's nice to
have you with us.
45
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We hope you'll be comfortable.
46
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,464
Thank you. I just hope
47
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,716
that I'm able to make
you people comfortable.
48
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,246
There are six more
Bradys to meet
49
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:34,703
when they get home from school.
50
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:37,806
Good... the more there
are, the better I like it.
51
00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:39,474
( car horn beeps)
52
00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:42,377
Oh, that'll be Sam to
drive me to the airport.
53
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:43,745
Well, adios, aloha
54
00:02:43,814 --> 00:02:45,692
arrivederci and auf wiedersehen.
55
00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:48,116
Alice, now, what kind
of a good-bye is that?
56
00:02:48,184 --> 00:02:50,196
When you get on an
airplane nowadays,
57
00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:52,660
you never know where
you're going to end up.
58
00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:53,766
Bye.
59
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:54,834
You take good care
60
00:02:54,858 --> 00:02:55,869
of the Bradys, Cousin Emma.
61
00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:57,643
( horn beeps)
62
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I'm coming!
63
00:02:59,796 --> 00:03:01,708
I think I can handle
the job, folks.
64
00:03:01,732 --> 00:03:03,966
I wasn't 20 years in
the WACs for nothing.
65
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,700
Mustered out as master sergeant.
66
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:06,701
Master sergeant?
67
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,002
Yes, Ma'am.
68
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,572
Helped run the mess
hall for an entire company.
69
00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:12,807
That must have been
a very difficult job.
70
00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:14,759
Not if you're organized.
71
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,481
( both shouting)
72
00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:20,748
Halt!
73
00:03:20,817 --> 00:03:22,584
About face.
74
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,938
Forward march,
and close the door.
75
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:32,026
Come on, hut-two,
hut-two hut, hut, hut...
76
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:33,478
move along.
77
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,947
Hut, hut-two, hut-two, hut-two.
78
00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:40,568
It's just a question of control.
79
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:43,938
Hut-two?
80
00:03:54,184 --> 00:03:55,783
( whistle blows loudly)
81
00:03:56,786 --> 00:03:58,420
( whistle blowing)
82
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,905
( whistle blowing)
83
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,241
( whistle blowing)
84
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,742
What's happening?
85
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,244
I don't know.
86
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,745
( whistle blows)
87
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,314
There it is again.
88
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:12,184
Up and at 'em, men.
89
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,635
Up and at who?
90
00:04:13,703 --> 00:04:15,103
Move it. Out of the sack.
91
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,371
Hut-two, hut-two.
92
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,890
But it's barely light outside.
93
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:22,160
Right. Rise with the sun,
get your day's work done.
94
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:24,729
But we don't work.
We go to school.
95
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:25,931
Makes no difference.
96
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,793
Good habits start early in life.
97
00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:30,952
Do they have to start
so early in the morning?
98
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,520
Cut the chatter, men.
99
00:04:32,589 --> 00:04:35,423
Suit up and fall out in
the yard in 15 minutes.
100
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,727
The yard?!
101
00:04:38,796 --> 00:04:41,079
What are we going
to do in the yard?
102
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:49,087
Rise and shine, girls.
103
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:51,189
Breakfast at 0800 hours.
104
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,324
But it's only 6:00
In the morning.
105
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,038
What are we supposed
to do till 0800 hours?
106
00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:56,995
Calisthenics.
107
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,091
Calisthenics?!
108
00:04:58,115 --> 00:04:59,159
Oh, no!
109
00:04:59,183 --> 00:05:02,851
And when I say calisthenics,
110
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,854
I mean calisthenics!
111
00:05:05,923 --> 00:05:09,423
Hut-two, hut-two...
Hut-two, hut-two
112
00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:11,760
jump tall.
113
00:05:11,829 --> 00:05:14,295
Hut-two and that's all.
114
00:05:14,364 --> 00:05:16,443
If that's all, I think I'll
be going back to bed.
115
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:17,999
As you were.
116
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,968
Never break formation until
you've been given the order.
117
00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:22,465
Back, back, snap to it!
118
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,666
Hut, hut, hut!
119
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,930
We're just getting warmed up.
120
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,671
How come we had to come out here
121
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,939
to get warmed up?
122
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,162
Yeah.
123
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,764
I was warmer in bed.
124
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,933
Boy, she really has
the kids hustling.
125
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,835
Do you think it might be
too much for them, Mike?
126
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,104
Oh, a little exercise
can't hurt them.
127
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,984
What we're going to do now
128
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,419
are deep knee bends.
129
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,793
And I mean deep.
130
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,045
Got it?
131
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,132
Ready, set, exercise.
132
00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:54,302
Hut-two, hut-two.
133
00:05:54,371 --> 00:05:58,122
Heads up, chests out.
134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,209
Backs straight, looking great.
135
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,856
This is for the birds.
136
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,312
Yeah. The birds.
137
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,646
Are you kidding?
138
00:06:05,715 --> 00:06:07,148
No bird in his right mind
139
00:06:07,217 --> 00:06:10,168
would do knee bends
at 6:00 in the morning.
140
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,715
Can she do this to us?
141
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,905
She's doing it, isn't she?
142
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:18,159
My knees bent okay
before we started.
143
00:06:18,228 --> 00:06:21,646
Hut-two, hut-two...
144
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,581
hut-two, and that's all.
145
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,483
Fall out.
146
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,632
( all sigh with relief)
147
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:27,619
Can we eat now?
148
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:28,620
I'm starved.
149
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:29,688
( all agreeing)
150
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,390
Simmer down.
151
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,793
There'll be no chow until
after inspection of quarters.
152
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:45,320
Get a little more elbow
grease on those shoes.
153
00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:47,388
Yes, sir... ma'am.
154
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,627
That's no way to stow socks.
155
00:06:52,696 --> 00:06:55,136
You roll them like this.
156
00:06:56,933 --> 00:07:00,034
That's a regulation sock roll.
157
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:03,304
That looks like a
mushy bed, soldier.
158
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:08,571
Tighten that blanket.
159
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,606
That quarter's supposed
to jump like a spring.
160
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,563
Yes, ma'am.
161
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:12,997
Why?
162
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,899
Why?
163
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,279
Regulations... that's why.
164
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,198
Well, it's not too bad...
165
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:21,000
for a first inspection.
166
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,623
At ease.
167
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,239
This is like being in the army.
168
00:07:26,263 --> 00:07:27,996
I wonder what the punishment is
169
00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:29,430
for going over the hill.
170
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:31,565
( bursts out laughing)
171
00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:33,567
That's funny.
172
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:37,055
Well, girls, do you think
173
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,025
this room can
stand the glove test?
174
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,993
What's the glove test?
175
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,966
That is the glove test.
176
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,467
Get rid of that dust.
177
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,515
Why don't we keep the dust
178
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:53,838
and get rid of her?
179
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,623
Uncle Sam had her.
180
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,392
Why didn't he keep her?
181
00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:08,336
Hi, honey.
182
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,904
Hi.
183
00:08:09,973 --> 00:08:12,374
Uh-oh. Something's wrong.
184
00:08:12,442 --> 00:08:13,752
What makes you say that?
185
00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:15,176
Because you have
186
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,578
that "something's
wrong" look in your eye.
187
00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:19,680
Well, it's Emma.
188
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,827
Uh-oh, what's the
matter with Emma?
189
00:08:21,851 --> 00:08:23,784
Well, I know she
means well, honey,
190
00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:25,887
but she's awfully
hard on the kids.
191
00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:27,500
Oh, you mean the exercises?
192
00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:29,557
Well, it's not just
the exercises.
193
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:31,109
It's the room inspections
194
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,994
and that awful
"hut-two, hut-two"
195
00:08:33,062 --> 00:08:34,195
all over the place.
196
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,108
She's just one of those persons
197
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:38,377
that has to have
everything organized.
198
00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:39,918
Boy, you're not kidding.
199
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,970
She's organized me right
out of my own kitchen.
200
00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,256
Oh, by the way, this is for you.
201
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,024
She wants you to initial it.
202
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,726
Yeah? What's this?
203
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,395
Well, it's a duty roster.
204
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:51,640
A duty roster?
205
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,798
Yeah. She's given
the kids assignments.
206
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,767
There's K.P., laundry detail,
trash detail, bathroom detail.
207
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:59,337
I'm surprised she
didn't say "latrine."
208
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,805
She did.
209
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,290
I had to translate for the kids.
210
00:09:02,359 --> 00:09:03,970
Well, honey, there's
nothing wrong
211
00:09:03,994 --> 00:09:06,172
with the kids having
duties assigned to them.
212
00:09:06,196 --> 00:09:07,695
You mean you
approve of all this?
213
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,542
Well, a little
discipline can't hurt.
214
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:12,617
Okay. I wonder if
you'll feel the same way
215
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,285
at dinner tonight.
216
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:18,189
What's going to
happen at dinner tonight?
217
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,024
You'll see.
218
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,442
Troops! In here, troops.
219
00:09:21,511 --> 00:09:23,088
Come on, in here. Grab
a plate and get in line.
220
00:09:23,112 --> 00:09:24,712
Form a line right around here.
221
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:25,913
No pushing.
222
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,982
Organization is
the order of the day.
223
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:29,127
What are we eating?
224
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,852
Potatoes MacArthur,
beef Eisenhower
225
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,052
and succotash pentagon.
226
00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:33,588
After you've finished eating,
227
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,390
I want you to
rinse off your plates
228
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,758
and pile them in the sink.
229
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,510
Who's got K.P.
On the duty roster?
230
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,822
I guess I do.
231
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:40,912
Well, then you eat first.
232
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:42,246
Hut-two, hut-two.
233
00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:43,981
What did she say we were having?
234
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,216
Succotash pentagon?
235
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,753
Hut-two, hut-four, I
don't like this anymore.
236
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,133
I've got the terrible feeling
237
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,557
we've all been drafted.
238
00:09:54,944 --> 00:09:57,745
Dad, Mom, can we
talk to you for a minute?
239
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,514
Sure. What's the trouble?
240
00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:00,993
What isn't the trouble?
241
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,283
Do we have to go in
242
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:04,018
for all that gung-ho jazz?
243
00:10:04,086 --> 00:10:05,686
Especially the exercises.
244
00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:08,907
Well, son, nothing wrong
with building up your body.
245
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,492
CAROL: And what better way
246
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,393
than exercising every day?
247
00:10:12,462 --> 00:10:15,547
I'm glad to hear you feel
that way, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.
248
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,232
People don't always
like what's good for them.
249
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:20,363
Yeah, that's what
I was pointing out.
250
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,686
Kids need exercise.
251
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,438
Adults, too, Mr. Brady,
252
00:10:23,507 --> 00:10:25,339
if you know what I mean.
253
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,340
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
254
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,872
I think I know what you mean.
255
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,040
You, too, Mrs. Brady.
256
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,558
You've got a nice
little figure there.
257
00:10:32,582 --> 00:10:34,615
You wouldn't
want it to go to pot.
258
00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:38,870
No, I... I guess I wouldn't.
259
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,921
Good. Then I'll expect you both
260
00:10:40,991 --> 00:10:43,207
to join us tomorrow
morning. Roger?
261
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,237
Like you said,
there's nothing wrong
262
00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:46,839
with building up your bodies.
263
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,597
What better way than
exercising every day, right?
264
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:52,550
Tomorrow morning at 0600 hours.
265
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,969
0600 hours?
266
00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:56,318
That's... that's...
267
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:58,773
that'S 6:00 in the morning.
268
00:11:01,777 --> 00:11:04,545
EMMA: Hut-two, three, four.
269
00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:07,215
Hut-two, three, four.
270
00:11:07,283 --> 00:11:09,567
Hut-two, three, four.
271
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,220
Make those tummies
clear the floor.
272
00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:14,556
Five, six, seven, eight.
273
00:11:14,624 --> 00:11:16,935
Lower those backs
and keep them straight.
274
00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,410
Hut-two, three, four.
275
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,913
Hut-two, three, four.
276
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:25,249
Hut-two, three, four and halt.
277
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,818
( all grunt)
278
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:33,107
Well, it certainly
makes you feel better.
279
00:11:33,175 --> 00:11:34,475
Doesn't it?
280
00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:36,010
I don't know.
281
00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:39,313
Right now, I
can't feel anything.
282
00:11:39,382 --> 00:11:41,766
All right, troops, may
I have your attention?
283
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,613
I'd like to make
an announcement.
284
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,086
Tomorrow morning,
285
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:48,055
we will not be
doing calisthenics.
286
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,256
( all cheer)
287
00:11:49,325 --> 00:11:51,092
Hold it, hold it.
288
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:54,779
Instead, I have a
special surprise.
289
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,365
Hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, come on in.
290
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:52,637
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two,
that's good, hut-two.
291
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,939
Hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, hut-two.
292
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,958
All present and accounted for?
293
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,660
Hut-two, hut-two.
294
00:12:58,728 --> 00:13:00,562
All right, fall out.
295
00:13:00,630 --> 00:13:03,465
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two...
296
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,004
Oh, honey, I'm sorry
I got you into this.
297
00:13:10,072 --> 00:13:12,206
Why didn't you just
drop out and go home?
298
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:13,874
Are you kidding?
299
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:16,155
And face a court martial?
300
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:17,306
( blows whistle)
301
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,896
Chow time!
302
00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:35,463
( groaning)
303
00:13:35,532 --> 00:13:38,847
As Sergeant Emma
would say are you a-okay?
304
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:42,203
Oh, no, my "A" is far from okay.
305
00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:45,640
And my "B" and "C" are the same.
306
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:48,576
You know, if Emma
weren't Alice's cousin,
307
00:13:48,645 --> 00:13:51,145
I'd ship her out
for overseas duty.
308
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:52,346
Yeah. Hear, hear.
309
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,815
( knock at door)
310
00:13:53,884 --> 00:13:55,950
Come in!
311
00:13:57,787 --> 00:13:58,787
Mom? Dad?
312
00:13:58,855 --> 00:13:59,988
Yeah?
313
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,623
On behalf of all the kids,
314
00:14:01,691 --> 00:14:04,325
we'd like to put a
proposition to you.
315
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:06,377
What kind of proposition?
316
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,324
Well, if we don't
have to have Emma
317
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,491
the rest of the week,
318
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:10,993
we'll do all the housework.
319
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,650
We'll even get up at 0600 hours
320
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:14,618
and do stuff before
we go to school.
321
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,799
And we'll come
home right after school
322
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:17,950
and do work, too.
323
00:14:17,974 --> 00:14:20,524
GREG: What we're
trying to say is,
324
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,359
we'd like an honorable discharge
325
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,428
from Emma's Army.
326
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,776
Well, that's funny.
327
00:14:24,814 --> 00:14:27,314
Your father and I were
just talking about that.
328
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:28,516
And?
329
00:14:28,585 --> 00:14:31,063
Well, um, it's not
quite that simple.
330
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,503
Emma is Alice's cousin
331
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,939
and we're on kind
of delicate ground.
332
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,184
We wouldn't want
333
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,437
to hurt Alice's
feelings, would we?
334
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,743
I guess not.
335
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,995
We didn't think of that.
336
00:14:42,064 --> 00:14:45,182
Mmm, well, I guess
337
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:48,102
we're all stuck
for the duration.
338
00:14:49,672 --> 00:14:51,038
I wish we could give her
339
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,740
a three-day pass or something.
340
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,576
Yeah, that sure would help.
341
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:56,889
Hey, why not?
342
00:14:56,913 --> 00:14:58,557
Mike, why couldn't we get her
343
00:14:58,581 --> 00:15:00,225
to take a couple of days off?
344
00:15:00,249 --> 00:15:01,426
Or even one!
345
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,084
That's a good idea.
346
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,119
Let's talk to her.
347
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:06,188
( groans)
348
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:07,555
Oh.
349
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,181
Oh, just arranging
these dishes in G.I. order.
350
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,549
Have you ever read
351
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,185
the army manual on
mess hall organization?
352
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,021
No, I'm afraid I haven't.
353
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,188
Well, you should.
354
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,556
It's an eye-opener.
355
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,192
Uh, Emma, we appreciate
your working so hard,
356
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,505
but Mrs. Brady and I
357
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,473
are a little concerned about it.
358
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,564
Yeah, we think
you've been working
359
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,033
just a little too hard.
360
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,834
Nothing wrong with hard work.
361
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,714
No, no, but you can overdo it.
362
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,582
Even in the army they gave you
363
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,418
three-day passes, didn't they?
364
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,959
Oh, sure they did,
but I never took them.
365
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,728
You never took them.
366
00:15:47,797 --> 00:15:51,815
Mr. And Mrs. Brady, I served
20 years in Uncle Sam's army.
367
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:55,402
Never goldbricked once...
I'm not about to start now.
368
00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:58,022
No, sir. I've got a
week's special duty here.
369
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,790
You're gonna get
every minute of it.
370
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,859
Oh, Mr. Brady,
371
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,860
that buckle of
yours is tarnishing.
372
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,163
I've got an army glad rag
that'll shine that right up.
373
00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:10,300
We heard.
374
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,936
Sorry, kids.
375
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,756
Emma's not going to
budge until Alice returns
376
00:16:15,825 --> 00:16:16,919
from her vacation.
377
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,020
I don't think I can stand it
378
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:19,044
till Alice gets back.
379
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,732
There must be
something we can do.
380
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:27,351
I called you guys together
for some good news.
381
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,754
Marcia and I have figured out
some plans for Sergeant Emma.
382
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,068
ALL: Good!
383
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,270
All right, you two
get a special mission
384
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,372
that's going to knock
Emma for a loop.
385
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,762
And you two are going
to help me and Greg.
386
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,164
Come here.
387
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,716
( talking quietly)
388
00:16:41,785 --> 00:16:43,612
Think Emma's going to be scared?
389
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,969
Sure. Remember Alice?
390
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,771
She screamed, and
jumped ten feet high.
391
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,774
Emma will leave here
as fast as she can.
392
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,092
Where shall we put it?
393
00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:53,973
Hey, how about the wastebasket?
394
00:16:53,997 --> 00:16:55,663
Perfect!
395
00:16:55,732 --> 00:16:57,609
Okay, Goliath, we're
counting on you.
396
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:58,899
Sure was nice of Benjie
397
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,267
to lend us his pet mouse.
398
00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:01,519
Yeah.
399
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,900
Ready?
400
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:05,956
Roger.
401
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,591
Emma's got me saying it.
402
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,393
Okay, go.
403
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,172
BOTH ( screaming): Emma! Emma!
404
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,841
There's a rat in the kitchen!
405
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,265
It's great big! It's
got huge yellow teeth.
406
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:17,334
They're probably
all over the place!
407
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,614
Where's this one?
408
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,904
It's in the wastebasket!
409
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,005
Watch out! Those
teeth are horrible!
410
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:23,251
And yellow! Awful!
411
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:24,708
Ooh, it's going to get us!
412
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,522
Oh, what? This little fellow?
413
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,490
Ooh! He's going to get us!
414
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,799
Why, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
415
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:37,020
Remember, good soldiers
aren't afraid of anything.
416
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,288
He's cute.
417
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,274
Here, make a pet out of him.
418
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,951
She sure wasn't
scared of a mouse.
419
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,920
Maybe Benjie has a skunk.
420
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:55,923
Skunk! I think we
need King Kong.
421
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,810
EMMA: ♪ As we
hit the dusty trail... ♪
422
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:00,911
Hi, Emma.
423
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,179
Hi, troops.
424
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,215
♪ As those caissons
go rolling... ♪
425
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,361
You want something?
426
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,885
Well, we were just wondering
427
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,386
why you're working so hard
428
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:10,487
if you feel so bad.
429
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,272
Who says I feel bad?
430
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,942
You're always telling us to
stand up straight like you do.
431
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,955
And, from the way
you're bent over,
432
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,357
you must feel terrible.
433
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:21,215
I'm just bent over dusting.
434
00:18:21,284 --> 00:18:23,167
Well, what about
the dark circles?
435
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,263
What dark circles?
436
00:18:24,287 --> 00:18:25,386
Under your eyes.
437
00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:27,154
Yeah. You look kind of feverish.
438
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,489
Feverish?
439
00:18:28,557 --> 00:18:30,691
Maybe we shouldn't
have said anything.
440
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:32,438
Yeah. Forget it, Emma.
441
00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:33,894
See you around.
442
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:42,047
Hi, Emma.
443
00:18:42,071 --> 00:18:43,203
Hi.
444
00:18:48,677 --> 00:18:50,710
Emma, are you feeling okay?
445
00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:52,958
Well, sure, I'm feeling okay.
446
00:18:52,982 --> 00:18:54,748
Oh, but your face is so flushed.
447
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:56,467
I thought you might be sick.
448
00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,954
And what's the
matter with your eyes?
449
00:19:00,023 --> 00:19:01,672
My eyes? Why?
450
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,974
Well, they look kind of glazed.
451
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,573
Maybe she's getting the pinkeye.
452
00:19:07,597 --> 00:19:10,714
Emma, now you're
getting pale as a ghost.
453
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:11,832
Pale?
454
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,033
You better sit down.
455
00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,768
You look like you might faint.
456
00:19:14,837 --> 00:19:16,971
Why, I never fainted
in my whole life.
457
00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:18,216
I think you're supposed
458
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,918
to put your head
between your knees.
459
00:19:19,942 --> 00:19:21,119
Emma, you ought to take it easy.
460
00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:22,454
Go away for a
couple of days' rest.
461
00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:23,588
Right!
462
00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:25,223
You know what's
the matter with me?
463
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,480
It's those calisthenics.
464
00:19:26,548 --> 00:19:28,126
Boy, I bet that's what it is.
465
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:29,616
Too much exercising, right?
466
00:19:29,685 --> 00:19:31,685
Wrong. I've been
too easy on myself.
467
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,265
Getting soft as a civilian.
468
00:19:33,289 --> 00:19:36,240
Effective 0600 hours
tomorrow, double calisthenics.
469
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:40,244
We are really going to
shape up around here.
470
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:46,017
♪ Over hill, over dale,
as we hit the dusty trail ♪
471
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:50,521
♪ As those caissons
go rolling along... ♪
472
00:20:51,768 --> 00:20:54,401
Oh, honey, honey... Mmm?
473
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,314
You know what time it is?
474
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,739
Time for Emma's exercises.
475
00:20:58,808 --> 00:21:00,875
Yeah.
476
00:21:00,943 --> 00:21:03,710
( sighs)
477
00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:06,580
Oh! Do you realize
what today is?
478
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:08,060
Yeah. How could I forget?
479
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:09,361
Alice is coming home.
480
00:21:09,385 --> 00:21:12,052
The prisoners of war
are about to be liberated.
481
00:21:12,121 --> 00:21:13,254
Oh, boy.
482
00:21:13,322 --> 00:21:17,208
She sure will be a
sight for sore eyes...
483
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,544
and a sore back and
sore arms and sore legs.
484
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,957
Oh, well, the kids
can hardly wait.
485
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,060
Honey, why don't we give Alice
486
00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:26,450
a coming-home party?
487
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,818
Hey, yeah, why not?
488
00:21:27,886 --> 00:21:29,030
Yeah, why don't we?
489
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,832
I'll order a cake
from the bakery
490
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,501
and I'll have Greg pick it up
491
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,102
on his way home from school.
492
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,259
Yeah. I'm for that.
493
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,127
Well, we better get a move on.
494
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,364
You know how Emma is
about our 0600 calisthenics.
495
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,543
Roger. I don't want
496
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:44,007
to get thrown in the stockade.
497
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:47,672
Hi, Mom.
498
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:48,723
Hi.
499
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:49,935
Here's the cake.
500
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:52,225
Oh, that looks delicious.
501
00:21:52,294 --> 00:21:53,527
Deliciously fattening.
502
00:21:53,596 --> 00:21:54,728
Yeah.
503
00:21:54,797 --> 00:21:56,063
Here, let me help you.
504
00:21:56,131 --> 00:21:57,197
It looks great.
505
00:21:57,266 --> 00:21:59,633
Careful now.
506
00:21:59,702 --> 00:22:01,613
Hey! Mind if I look, too?
507
00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:04,171
Oh, well, it's just
a cake, Emma.
508
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:07,052
Oh, that's a party
cake if I ever saw one.
509
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:09,354
Well, um, let me explain,
Emma. You see, it's just...
510
00:22:09,378 --> 00:22:11,723
Oh, you don't have
to explain, Mrs. Brady.
511
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:12,791
I understand.
512
00:22:12,815 --> 00:22:14,047
You do?
513
00:22:14,116 --> 00:22:15,182
Of course I do.
514
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,616
Today's my last day here
515
00:22:16,686 --> 00:22:19,286
and you want to give
me a going-away party.
516
00:22:21,957 --> 00:22:22,906
Right?
517
00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,826
Right.
518
00:22:29,832 --> 00:22:33,083
Well, troops, I never really
expected anything like this.
519
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,784
I want you to know
520
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:38,122
that this is the nicest thing
that's happened to me since...
521
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,491
Well, since I got the
General Haggarty award
522
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,193
for my campaign, "Make
Your Barracks Beautiful."
523
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:47,398
Oh, Emma, it's really nothing.
524
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,449
Yes, it is something, folks.
525
00:22:49,519 --> 00:22:51,318
The army's a lonely life.
526
00:22:51,387 --> 00:22:54,522
You make a friend, you
get transferred away.
527
00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:57,241
Big evening for
me used to be going
528
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,604
to the P.X. for shoe polish.
529
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,757
I've loved every single
minute I've been here.
530
00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:04,264
And you've all
shaped up just great.
531
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:09,736
If it was in my power,
532
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:14,158
I'd give you all good conduct
medals with an oak leaf cluster.
533
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,023
Hi, everybody!
534
00:23:18,047 --> 00:23:19,124
I'm back!
535
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:21,314
ALL: Alice!
536
00:23:21,383 --> 00:23:22,782
Hiya!
537
00:23:22,851 --> 00:23:24,468
Oh, my.
538
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:26,303
Oh, my!
539
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:27,388
What a reception!
540
00:23:27,456 --> 00:23:29,589
I'll go out and come in again!
541
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:30,658
Ah, well!
542
00:23:30,726 --> 00:23:33,026
Having a little
celebration here?
543
00:23:33,095 --> 00:23:35,945
Cousin Alice, my
wonderful platoon has made
544
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:37,981
a farewell party for old Sarge.
545
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,594
Oh, well, isn't that nice?
546
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:40,917
See? I told you
547
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:43,487
the Bradys were
something pretty special.
548
00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:45,833
And I guess you
all have discovered
549
00:23:45,857 --> 00:23:48,559
that Cousin Emma's
something special, too.
550
00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:51,028
Oh, she's something
special all right.
551
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,613
You better believe it.
552
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:53,925
Well, that's great
553
00:23:53,949 --> 00:23:56,127
because now I won't
have to feel funny
554
00:23:56,151 --> 00:23:57,662
about going away again.
555
00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,086
We can just ask Cousin
Emma to come back.
556
00:24:14,604 --> 00:24:15,869
( whistle blowing)
557
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,872
( whistle blowing)
558
00:24:23,946 --> 00:24:25,729
( whistle blowing)
559
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,198
( whistle blowing)
560
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:29,766
Not again.
561
00:24:30,986 --> 00:24:33,403
( whistle tooting)
562
00:24:35,091 --> 00:24:36,590
( more tooting)
563
00:24:40,262 --> 00:24:41,928
( whistle toots)
564
00:24:46,202 --> 00:24:50,020
Alice, it's 6:00 in the morning.
565
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,872
Yeah, I know.
566
00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:54,708
What are you doing
with that whistle?
567
00:24:54,776 --> 00:24:56,343
Emma left it for me.
568
00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:59,512
She said the whole family
just loved getting up at 6:00
569
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:00,814
and exercising.
570
00:25:02,568 --> 00:25:04,846
Yeah, and she left
me, as a matter of fact,
571
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:06,081
all these instructions
572
00:25:06,105 --> 00:25:07,816
and a whole lot of other things.
573
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,200
First, calisthenics at
0600, then mess call,
574
00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:12,186
to be followed immediately
by the white glove test,
575
00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:13,622
for the inspection
of the quarters...
576
00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:16,564
If, and then only if,
everyone passes that test,
577
00:25:16,632 --> 00:25:18,915
there'll be a rest...
578
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,686
Hey, where did everybody go?
579
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,124
Eh?
580
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,691
Hey!
39312
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