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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:05,521
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:06,889
♪ Who was bringing up ♪
4
00:00:06,957 --> 00:00:09,357
♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,127
♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
6
00:00:12,195 --> 00:00:14,029
♪ Like their mother ♪
7
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:17,098
♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
8
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:21,152
♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
9
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:25,057
♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
10
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,827
♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
12
00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:35,633
♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,170
♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
14
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:43,041
♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
15
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:46,661
♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
16
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,997
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
17
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:51,282
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
18
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:57,221
♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
19
00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:27,080
MARCIA: Mom, how
come we suddenly decided
20
00:01:27,104 --> 00:01:28,982
to clean all this old
junk out of the attic?
21
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,284
Because we need
room for all the new junk.
22
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,286
Listen, I think I've
toted my last barge
23
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,554
and lifted my last bale.
24
00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,222
Besides, I want to work on this
25
00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:37,624
before the kids get at it.
26
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:38,959
I've heard that before.
27
00:01:38,983 --> 00:01:40,415
( laughing)
28
00:01:40,484 --> 00:01:41,764
What's so funny?
29
00:01:41,819 --> 00:01:43,085
This old picture's so funny.
30
00:01:43,153 --> 00:01:45,086
Look at it. Look.
31
00:01:45,155 --> 00:01:47,150
That's a picture of
my great-grandmother.
32
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,841
Is that supposed
to be a bathing suit?
33
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,227
That is a turn-of-the-century
full-length bikini.
34
00:01:53,296 --> 00:01:55,609
As a matter of fact, my
great-grandmother got arrested
35
00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:57,082
for wearing one of those.
36
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,516
What for?
37
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,235
Indecent exposure.
38
00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:02,321
Well, look, her
knees are showing.
39
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,323
Oh, horrors, that naughty girl.
40
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,524
( laughter)
41
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,777
Hey, look at this one.
42
00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:10,712
It's Jan!
43
00:02:12,449 --> 00:02:15,650
Gee, I don't
remember taking that.
44
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:16,963
Well, you didn't, honey.
45
00:02:16,987 --> 00:02:18,798
That's a picture
of my Aunt Jenny.
46
00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:21,657
It was taken when she
was just about your age.
47
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,459
My goodness, that must
have been about 40 years ago.
48
00:02:24,528 --> 00:02:28,030
The resemblance is
remarkable, Mrs. Brady.
49
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:29,831
It really is, isn't it?
50
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,967
Looks just like Jan.
51
00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:33,452
Exactly.
52
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,386
Gee, it's spooky.
53
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:37,550
Well, come on,
everybody, up and at 'em.
54
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,486
There are a lot more
goodies in the attic.
55
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:40,790
Come on.
56
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:44,146
I wonder what
she looks like now.
57
00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:46,593
Maybe that's what
you're going to look like.
58
00:02:46,617 --> 00:02:49,284
I think I'll send Aunt
Jenny a picture of myself
59
00:02:49,353 --> 00:02:51,819
and ask her to send
me a picture of herself.
60
00:02:51,888 --> 00:02:53,166
Good idea.
61
00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:55,056
I'm going to write
her right away.
62
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:58,760
I can hardly wait to
see what she looks like.
63
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,048
( humming)
64
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,049
Hi, Alice.
65
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,217
Hi, sweetie.
66
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,930
Is there any mail for me today?
67
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,656
Honey, you have been
asking me that for ten days.
68
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,725
And, every day, I have told
you the same thing... "no!"
69
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,226
Today I'm going
to tell you "yes."
70
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,640
There is? On the counter.
71
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:17,729
Oh!
72
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,076
It's from her! It's from her!
73
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,083
It's from who? It's from who?
74
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,778
JAN: "Dear soul sister,
thanks for your picture
75
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,513
"and I bet we're the first twins
76
00:03:40,537 --> 00:03:42,499
"that were ever
born 40 years apart.
77
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,367
"Like you wrote,
it's real spooky.
78
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,336
"Enclosed is the
latest photo of me.
79
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,560
"Hope that very soon
we can exchange hugs
80
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,709
"instead of pictures.
81
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,695
Love, Jenny."
82
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,097
Oh, boy...
83
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:12,066
Oh, no...
84
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:17,055
Eh... eh... Screwdriver?
85
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:18,623
Thank you.
86
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,276
All right, Killer McGrew,
87
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,444
we got the building surrounded.
88
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:29,901
So you can drop your guns
89
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,448
and come out with
your hands high.
90
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,739
Will you stop horsing around?
91
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,909
Eh? I'm a little deef.
92
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:40,445
( half-whisper): Will
you get me some oil?
93
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,747
I got a sticky turntable here.
94
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,683
Yes, Honorable Father.
95
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,085
Cut it out and get out of here.
96
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,201
Dad, can I talk to you for
a minute about something?
97
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,703
Why, sure.
98
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:08,206
Well, I'm having a little
problem with biology.
99
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:11,795
Well, I'm no Luther
Burbank, but shoot.
100
00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,529
Well, it's about heredity
101
00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:16,865
and what makes people
grow up the way they do.
102
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,511
You mean chromosomes and genes.
103
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,485
I guess that's what I mean.
104
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,387
How do they work, dad?
105
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,517
Well, like I said,
I'm no expert,
106
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,719
but the genes in
your chromosomes
107
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,745
are what carry your,
uh... huh... your heredity...
108
00:05:30,814 --> 00:05:33,493
Your traits... from
generation to generation.
109
00:05:33,517 --> 00:05:35,295
That's how come a bean ends up
110
00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:36,596
looking like another bean
111
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,014
instead of a cucumber
or something.
112
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,972
So you mean when you're born,
113
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,407
your genes have
already figured out
114
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,054
what you're going to look
like when you grow up?
115
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:45,510
Yeah, pretty much.
116
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,846
Well, if two people looked
alike when they were children,
117
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,998
would they look alike
when they grew up?
118
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:54,519
Well, it's not for sure,
but there's every chance.
119
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:55,903
Ha-ha.
120
00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:57,616
Does that clear
things up a little?
121
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,075
That clears things up a lot.
122
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:06,197
I can see the wrinkles
starting already.
123
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,698
Yuck.
124
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:08,899
( pounding on door)
125
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,335
GREG: Jan, are
you still in there?
126
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,069
I'll be out in a minute!
127
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,071
You've been saying a
minute for a half hour.
128
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,573
Now, come on,
we've got to wash up.
129
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:16,974
Okay.
130
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,647
PETER: You're going
to crack the mirror
131
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,327
looking at yourself so much.
132
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,329
I don't think
that's at all funny.
133
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:27,847
Are you trying
to say I'm so ugly,
134
00:06:27,871 --> 00:06:29,237
my face could crack a mirror?
135
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,538
Hey, take it easy, Jan.
136
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:31,856
He was just kidding.
137
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,202
Well, I think it's
the cruelest cruelty
138
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,146
to kid a person
about her ugliness.
139
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:38,424
A person can't
help how she looks.
140
00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:40,115
She's weird.
141
00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:42,283
Oh, so now I'm weird-looking?
142
00:06:42,352 --> 00:06:43,884
He didn't say that.
143
00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:45,336
Did you say "weird" or not?
144
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,905
I didn't mean weird weird
145
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,707
I meant... strange.
146
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,241
Strange?
147
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,230
I can't do anything
about my face,
148
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,145
so why tease me about it?
149
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,643
What was that all about?
150
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,535
Jan's got a thing about
her face all of a sudden.
151
00:07:00,604 --> 00:07:02,215
What's the matter with it?
152
00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:03,671
I don't know.
153
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:06,725
It's the same face
she always had.
154
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,263
Jan...
155
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,934
do you want to talk?
156
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,369
Come on.
157
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,271
That's what older
sisters are for.
158
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,376
( sniffles)
159
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:29,214
This is Aunt Jenny now...
Me 40 years from now.
160
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,149
What are you talking about?
161
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,683
Don't you understand?
162
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,380
If I look like this now,
163
00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:36,254
I'll look like that then.
164
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,271
Who says so?
165
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,606
Heredity.
166
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,052
I read all about genes,
167
00:07:40,076 --> 00:07:42,254
and I talked to
Dad about it, too.
168
00:07:42,278 --> 00:07:45,313
Jan, I think you're getting
all upset about nothing.
169
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,259
Don't try to make me feel better
170
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,651
'cause it won't work.
171
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,154
Look... why worry
about something now
172
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,407
that won't happen for 40 years?
173
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,427
I didn't think
about it that way.
174
00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:02,130
No sense in crying about it now.
175
00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:04,832
I'll be happy while I still can.
176
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,835
And maybe, just
maybe, I won't grow up
177
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,570
to look like her.
178
00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:14,192
But I will!
179
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,027
I know I will!
180
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:17,595
( crying)
181
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,398
Missionary? Why?
182
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,682
Well, this certain woman
183
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,784
has nothing to look
forward to in life,
184
00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:26,888
and she wants to dedicate
herself to good causes.
185
00:08:26,956 --> 00:08:29,302
I saw a movie once
about missionaries.
186
00:08:29,326 --> 00:08:31,859
This girl, she got
bitten by a tsetse fly
187
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,440
and she got this
terrible disease
188
00:08:34,464 --> 00:08:35,808
and while she was
lying in this crummy tent,
189
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:38,144
the natives started
beating on their drums.
190
00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:40,179
And the next thing you know,
she was kidnapped by cannibals
191
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:42,748
and they put
her in this big pot.
192
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,172
Oh, you're making it up.
193
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,774
I am not; it's a true story.
194
00:08:46,843 --> 00:08:48,421
I saw it on the late show.
195
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,512
Or this woman could
join the Peace Corps
196
00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,147
or the Navy or work
for a photographer
197
00:08:53,216 --> 00:08:54,382
in a darkroom.
198
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,850
Now, that's out of left field...
199
00:08:55,919 --> 00:08:56,851
Work in a darkroom?
200
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,670
Sure. In a darkroom,
201
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,305
it doesn't matter
what a girl looks like.
202
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,307
CAROL: Mike,
I've got great news.
203
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,687
Yeah, me, too, sweetheart.
204
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,789
If I have fixed this
gramophone properly,
205
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,991
you're about to hear
Al Jolson sing again.
206
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,047
Ah, terrific.
207
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,293
Yeah. What's your news, honey?
208
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,351
Aunt Jenny's coming
to visit us tomorrow.
209
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,465
Hey, great. I look
forward to meeting her.
210
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:16,933
You have to pick
her up at the airport?
211
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,322
No. She just says
in her telegram
212
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,391
that she's arriving tomorrow.
213
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,863
( needle scratching)
214
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:30,702
( jaunty '20s music playing)
215
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,871
( music slows and stops)
216
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:36,760
Well, I thought I had
that turntable fixed.
217
00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,771
JAN: Did you want me, mom?
218
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,989
Oh, honey, I've got great news.
219
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:43,175
Aunt Jenny's coming
to visit us tomorrow.
220
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,331
Aunt Jenny?
221
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,711
Yes. You're finally
gonna get to see
222
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:47,513
your look-alike face-to-face.
223
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:48,814
Isn't that wonderful news?
224
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,822
What's so wonderful about it?
225
00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:05,553
We may as well face it...
There's no hope for me.
226
00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:07,238
The picture proves it.
227
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,906
Now, Jan, maybe you don't think
228
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,241
Aunt Jenny's attractive,
229
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,742
but that's just your opinion.
230
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,789
Maybe it's just a bad picture.
231
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,724
That's what I'm
going to look like.
232
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,299
Daddy told me himself all
about heredity and genes.
233
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,102
Oh, that's what
that was all about.
234
00:10:21,171 --> 00:10:23,166
And you told me
that when you're born,
235
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,168
the genes have already figured
out what you're gonna look like
236
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:26,124
when you grow up.
237
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,592
Jan, what a person looks like
238
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,260
is influenced by
a lot of things...
239
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,494
Not just genes.
240
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,964
There's... environment,
diet, emotions.
241
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,911
There's no guarantee
that you're gonna
242
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,728
look like Aunt Jenny
or anyone else.
243
00:10:36,752 --> 00:10:38,731
But can you give me
a positive guarantee
244
00:10:38,755 --> 00:10:41,022
that I won't end up
looking like Aunt Jenny?
245
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:51,132
( siren winding down)
246
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:53,952
I think we're being raided.
247
00:10:59,042 --> 00:11:00,792
Thanks for the escort, Sonny!
248
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,827
You know where
to send my tickets
249
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,846
to the policemen's ball!
250
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,848
( motorcycle roars off)
251
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,517
Sam, check the
carbons on the pistons.
252
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,902
You've got a bad knock there.
253
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,588
Oh, Aunt Jenny!
254
00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:17,692
Carol, honey!
255
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,493
You haven't changed at all
256
00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:22,163
from the pretty
little girl I remember,
257
00:11:22,232 --> 00:11:25,666
excepting you're prettier,
and in more places.
258
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,084
Oh, Aunt Jenny!
259
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,871
Oh, it's so good to see you.
260
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,817
Well, Aunt Jenny, this is Alice.
261
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:32,339
Hello.
262
00:11:32,408 --> 00:11:33,440
Hi, Alice.
263
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:34,787
And this is my husband, Mike.
264
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:36,188
How do you do, Aunt Jenny?
265
00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:39,246
What kind of a
how-do-you-do is that?
266
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:43,017
This is a how-do-you-do! Ha!
267
00:11:43,085 --> 00:11:44,685
Oh, mercy.
268
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:47,121
Jan wrote me she has
five brothers and sisters.
269
00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:49,524
How long have you two
been married, anyway?
270
00:11:49,592 --> 00:11:51,191
Three years.
271
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:52,693
Three years.
272
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:55,429
Crazy, headstrong kids.
273
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,534
And, last but not
least, Aunt Jenny,
274
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:00,746
this is Bobby.
275
00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:01,770
Aw. How are you, darling?
276
00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:02,838
Hi, Aunt Jenny.
277
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:05,523
My goodness,
aren't you beautiful!
278
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,570
Well, that just
leaves my look-alike.
279
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,793
Where's Jan?
280
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,222
Oh, well, she's
probably up in her room.
281
00:12:10,246 --> 00:12:11,758
I'll see if I can find her.
282
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:12,730
Okay.
283
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:13,965
Gather 'round, kids.
284
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,134
I've got some presents for you.
285
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,680
MARCIA: That wasn't
necessary, Aunt Jenny.
286
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,682
BOBBY: But it's
nice. I'm with you.
287
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,472
Don't look a gift
Aunt in the mouth.
288
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,158
I'm going to be in
Istanbul this Christmas,
289
00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:26,310
so better early than never.
290
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,562
( laughing)
291
00:12:27,631 --> 00:12:30,581
Now, let's see what I've got.
292
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:36,221
I figure you might
be a basketball fan.
293
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,272
I sure am.
294
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,875
Oh, well, here we go.
295
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,712
Wow!
296
00:12:44,781 --> 00:12:47,093
It's autographed
by Wilt Chamberlain.
297
00:12:47,117 --> 00:12:48,465
Do you know him?
298
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:51,719
I've known him since he
was no higher than that.
299
00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:53,471
( laughter)
300
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:58,008
Now, let's see...
You dig magic, Peter?
301
00:12:58,077 --> 00:12:59,077
Yeah, I love it.
302
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,778
Okay, come on.
303
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,630
Put these on me.
304
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,727
Okay. They belonged
to Harry Houdini.
305
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:05,933
Really?
306
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,102
Harry and I played the
same vaudeville circuit.
307
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:11,255
I did a tap dance and
a snappy-patter routine.
308
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,523
Okay, okay.
309
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,976
Now concentrate.
310
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:15,977
Okay.
311
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:16,978
Hold my hands.
312
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:22,600
Now, one... two... Kalamazoo.
313
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:24,068
Wow!
314
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,381
How did you do that?
315
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,870
I'll tell you later.
316
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,790
Now let's see what
we've got here.
317
00:13:28,859 --> 00:13:30,808
( squealing)
318
00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:36,247
This is for you, love.
319
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,799
What is it?
320
00:13:38,868 --> 00:13:40,651
It's a shofar.
321
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,854
You only blow it
on Rosh Hashanah.
322
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:47,058
( blowing flat note)
323
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,320
( kids exclaiming)
324
00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:49,961
There you go.
325
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,329
What's written on it?
326
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:52,563
It's Hebrew.
327
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,565
That's L'Shanah
Tovah, which means
328
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,851
"Happy New Year!"
329
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,469
Golda Meir gave it to me.
330
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,505
Well, here's your
look-alike, Aunt Jenny.
331
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,207
( squeals)
332
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,861
Well, if that doesn't
blow a person's mind.
333
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,830
Hello, soul sister.
334
00:14:09,899 --> 00:14:11,165
Hello, Aunt Jenny.
335
00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:13,084
Who says time marches on?
336
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,003
It just rolled back
40 years for me.
337
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,021
Oh, wait a minute. Wait.
338
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,656
I've got something for you.
339
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,958
Here you are.
340
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,293
A little something
Pietro knocked out for me
341
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,528
while I was having lunch
342
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,998
at his pad on the
Riviera one day.
343
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,767
Oh. Well, what's
it supposed to be?
344
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,252
It's a portrait of me.
345
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,287
( laughs self-deprecatingly)
346
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:35,606
And I'm afraid it looks like me.
347
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,925
Well, that certainly
is a valuable gift
348
00:14:37,993 --> 00:14:39,327
for a young girl, Aunt Jenny.
349
00:14:39,396 --> 00:14:41,396
Oh, darling, I've
got dozens of these
350
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,397
cluttering up my walls at home.
351
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:46,801
( politely): Oh, uh,
thank you, Aunt Jenny.
352
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,622
You're welcome.
353
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,662
Aunt Jenny, we'd like
to explain about Jan.
354
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:02,700
You see, well, she's a little
shier than the rest of the kids.
355
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,202
Isn't she, Mike?
356
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,953
Oh, yeah, that's,
that's all it is.
357
00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,855
Balderdash!
358
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,924
I got some bad
vibrations in there.
359
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:12,126
Now, that child doesn't dig me
360
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:15,263
and I'd like to know why.
361
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:20,100
Quit beating around the bush,
'cause I'm an old bushwhacker.
362
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,003
Okay, I guess we
do owe you the truth.
363
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:26,752
Um... Well, Aunt
Jenny, it all started
364
00:15:26,776 --> 00:15:30,336
when Jan received your
photograph in the mail.
365
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,450
The groovy thing about a sari
366
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:39,287
is, you don't have to
wear a girdle with it.
367
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,157
Indira Gandhi wears
them all the time.
368
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:48,830
Now, this...
369
00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:51,933
this is for outback
country in Australia.
370
00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:54,502
It's great for
chasing kangaroos.
371
00:15:54,570 --> 00:15:57,604
( giggling)
372
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,791
Hmm... um...
373
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,296
Jan, why don't we
rap a little, hmm?
374
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:09,166
I didn't ask you up here
just to be my lady-in-waiting.
375
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,403
I, uh... I wanted you to know
376
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,006
that I know what's bugging you.
377
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,074
Oh?
378
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,474
And I can't say
that I blame you.
379
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,777
Did my parents say
something to you?
380
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:21,779
Yes. Oh...
381
00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:24,298
But I had to drag
it out of them.
382
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:26,561
I'm so embarrassed, Aunt Jenny.
383
00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,685
Don't be embarrassed, love.
384
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:30,621
I agree with you.
385
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,124
I'd rather look like
Raquel Welch myself.
386
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:38,179
Of course, I could have
been beautiful if I wanted to.
387
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,347
You could?
388
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,949
Oh, plastic surgery does wonders
389
00:16:42,018 --> 00:16:43,951
with noses and chins.
390
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,187
They even can put in curves
391
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,266
where there's nothing
but straight highway.
392
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:51,142
Why didn't you do it?
393
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,944
Oh, just never had the time.
394
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,847
Besides, there are lots
of pretty faces around,
395
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:59,250
but how often do you
see a puss like this?
396
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,259
( squealing and baby-talking)
397
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,999
Whoops.
398
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,868
Aunt Jenny, where does the word
399
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,370
"sukiyaki" come from?
400
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,583
Japanese farmers
used to roast meat
401
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,652
over a fire at
the end of a rake.
402
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:27,995
So yaki means "to
roast," and suki is a rake.
403
00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:30,547
Well, sukiyaki certainly
looks better on a menu
404
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,727
than roasted rake.
405
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,328
Hey, how am I doing with these?
406
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,503
Thinner, thinner.
407
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:38,072
I want to be able to read
a newspaper through it.
408
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,907
CAROL: Where'd
you get this recipe?
409
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,459
From one of Emperor
Hirohito's chefs.
410
00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,907
I ran into him at the
Ginza one afternoon.
411
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:49,467
I swapped him a recipe of
Madame Khrushchev's for borscht.
412
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:53,771
( phone rings) I'll get it.
413
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,042
Hello? Yes, she is.
414
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,310
Just a minute.
415
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,311
It's long distance
for you, Aunt Jenny.
416
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,463
It's your secretary.
417
00:18:02,532 --> 00:18:04,326
Oh, will you take
a message, honey?
418
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,651
She's tied up right now.
Can I take a message?
419
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:09,687
Oh?
420
00:18:11,374 --> 00:18:14,308
Would you spell that, please?
421
00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,745
Yeah, I certainly will. Bye.
422
00:18:17,814 --> 00:18:21,348
Aunt Jenny, I hate to be
the one to break the news,
423
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:24,051
but, uh, you now own a llama.
424
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,719
Oh, that's nice.
425
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:27,421
CAROL: A llama?!
426
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,307
Yeah, the Humane Society
gave it to you in appreciation
427
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,488
for the help you gave
in your fundraising drive.
428
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,463
Hey, the dessert looks groovy!
429
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,582
Now, Aunt Jenny, what are
you going to do with a llama?
430
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:39,850
Oh, no problem.
431
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,269
It can graze in the
backyard with the zebra.
432
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:58,335
( slurps loudly)
433
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:01,505
Now I shall pass the chanuya
434
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,157
or "honorable tea."
435
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,959
Everybody take a sip.
436
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,869
In Japan, a sip like that
would be an insult to the host.
437
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:16,453
Let's hear it, honey.
438
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,457
( slurps loudly)
439
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:22,143
( all laughing)
440
00:19:22,212 --> 00:19:24,161
JENNY: Ah... very good.
441
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,480
That the host will dig.
442
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:27,498
( clears throat)
443
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,201
( phone rings)
444
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:31,702
I'll get it.
445
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,670
( coughing)
446
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,707
Hello.
447
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,209
Uh... yes. Just a minute.
448
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,922
Aunt Jenny, it's your secretary.
449
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,213
I can't be interrupted
450
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,758
in the middle of a tea ceremony.
451
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:45,249
Will you take the message, hon?
452
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,668
Um, uh... she would like
me to take the message.
453
00:19:47,737 --> 00:19:49,620
( slurps loudly)
454
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:52,772
( slurps loudly)
455
00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:58,379
( slurps loudly)
456
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,747
Yes.
457
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:03,417
( slurps loudly)
458
00:20:03,486 --> 00:20:04,530
Yeah, I've, I've got it.
459
00:20:04,554 --> 00:20:05,814
I'll tell her.
460
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,388
( slurps loudly)
461
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,335
Well, Aunt Jenny,
you've been invited
462
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,226
to a birthday party
on Ari's yacht.
463
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:14,228
Is he kidding?
464
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:18,566
I'm not canceling my Peace
Corps assignment in Bolivia
465
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,334
for any birthday party.
466
00:20:20,403 --> 00:20:21,885
I'll cable Jackie, though.
467
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,938
She's a real trip.
468
00:20:24,007 --> 00:20:26,256
BOBBY: Boy, I never
ate with chopsticks.
469
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,358
CINDY: It's easy. Watch.
470
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:29,493
( Bobby grunting)
471
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,746
CINDY: Mmm...
CAROL: Pretty good.
472
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:32,579
MIKE: It's looking good.
473
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,859
CAROL: Oh, boy.
474
00:20:34,883 --> 00:20:38,218
( others groaning and laughing)
475
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:41,171
This is the easiest way, kids.
476
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:51,215
Haven't dropped a
grain of rice in... 20 years.
477
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,400
( all laugh)
478
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,970
You must travel around
the world a lot, Aunt Jenny.
479
00:20:56,038 --> 00:21:00,240
Ah, traveling is
the spice of life.
480
00:21:00,309 --> 00:21:02,342
( cackling)
481
00:21:02,411 --> 00:21:05,479
I will never forget the
time I was in Bangkok.
482
00:21:05,547 --> 00:21:08,148
I went to this little nightclub
483
00:21:08,217 --> 00:21:11,535
and who was playing the
saxophone but the King himself.
484
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,788
Great jazz buff, the King.
485
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,701
Why, I was pretty good
on the trumpet myself
486
00:21:16,725 --> 00:21:18,125
before my lip went.
487
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,795
So I sat in on a jam
session with him.
488
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:24,314
I had such a time.
489
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:25,299
Before I knew it,
490
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:26,917
we were back in the palace,
491
00:21:26,985 --> 00:21:30,070
and I was teaching the
King how to blow "Charge."
492
00:21:30,139 --> 00:21:31,738
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da! ♪
493
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:33,456
Charge!
494
00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:34,458
( laughs)
495
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:35,459
( phone rings)
496
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,194
I'll get it.
497
00:21:40,149 --> 00:21:41,749
Hello.
498
00:21:41,817 --> 00:21:43,083
Oh, just a minute.
499
00:21:43,152 --> 00:21:44,618
Aunt Jenny, guess who.
500
00:21:44,687 --> 00:21:45,814
Shall I take a message?
501
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:46,870
Please, honey.
502
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,155
Okay.
503
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:51,425
Hello? Yes, I'll take a message.
504
00:21:51,494 --> 00:21:53,994
Uh-huh... uh-huh!
505
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:56,408
CAROL: Oh, I
certainly will tell her.
506
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:58,710
Thank you. Bye-bye.
507
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,301
Aunt Jenny, guess what.
508
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:02,964
A dozen long-stemmed roses
509
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:05,100
have just been
delivered to your house,
510
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,386
along with a marriage proposal!
511
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:09,392
( Jenny laughing)
512
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:11,379
That's that goofy Lester again.
513
00:22:11,447 --> 00:22:12,658
Who's Lester?
514
00:22:12,682 --> 00:22:14,315
A United States senator.
515
00:22:14,384 --> 00:22:15,733
A senator?
516
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,184
Are you going to marry him?
517
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,953
Nah. I get lots of proposals.
518
00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:22,156
Well, why don't you
accept one of them?
519
00:22:22,225 --> 00:22:26,176
Oh, I guess I'm too
young to settle down yet.
520
00:22:26,245 --> 00:22:29,846
Say, isn't anybody gonna
eat my bean curd cakes?
521
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,449
( phone rings)
522
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,997
I'm gonna stop this myself.
523
00:22:36,305 --> 00:22:37,254
Hello.
524
00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:39,022
Yes, it is.
525
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:43,326
Now, look, Hazel, why
don't you knock it off?
526
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:47,597
Oh... I plumb forgot!
527
00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:48,849
Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
528
00:22:48,918 --> 00:22:50,684
Don't worry, I'll make it.
529
00:22:50,753 --> 00:22:52,002
( snaps fingers)
530
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:54,066
Well, kids, I'm sorry
to not eat and run.
531
00:22:54,090 --> 00:22:56,690
I've got to catch the
11:00 plane for Paris.
532
00:22:56,759 --> 00:22:58,404
Paris? What?
533
00:22:58,428 --> 00:23:02,363
A dinner at the American
Embassy for Georges... Pompidou.
534
00:23:02,432 --> 00:23:05,566
It's a bore, but you know
how sensitive those French are
535
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:06,634
if you turn them down.
536
00:23:06,669 --> 00:23:07,617
Oh, do you have to go?
537
00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:09,603
I'm afraid so, sweetie.
538
00:23:09,671 --> 00:23:12,122
Well, I wish you could stay.
539
00:23:14,276 --> 00:23:17,711
Now, that's nice to hear.
540
00:23:17,779 --> 00:23:21,849
I've really got to
go, but I'll be back.
541
00:23:21,918 --> 00:23:23,901
Good.
542
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,454
I'll get your bags.
543
00:23:27,523 --> 00:23:28,555
Yeah, let me help.
544
00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:32,126
( kids chattering excitedly)
545
00:23:32,194 --> 00:23:33,326
I think Aunt Jenny's
546
00:23:33,395 --> 00:23:35,395
the most wonderful
woman I ever met,
547
00:23:35,464 --> 00:23:38,065
and I'm going to grow
up to look just like her.
548
00:23:38,134 --> 00:23:39,444
Honey, like I told you,
549
00:23:39,468 --> 00:23:40,779
genes are funny things.
550
00:23:40,803 --> 00:23:42,647
There's a good
chance you might not.
551
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,537
But there's a good
chance I might.
552
00:23:44,606 --> 00:23:46,039
( chuckling)
553
00:23:55,084 --> 00:23:56,349
It's from Aunt Jenny!
554
00:23:56,418 --> 00:23:57,517
What do you think it is?
555
00:23:57,587 --> 00:23:58,830
Well, if it's from Aunt Jenny,
556
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,821
it could be almost anything.
557
00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:01,822
Whoo!
558
00:24:01,891 --> 00:24:04,257
A plaster cast?
559
00:24:04,326 --> 00:24:06,304
I'm surprised
there isn't a leg in it.
560
00:24:06,328 --> 00:24:08,762
Let's see what she says.
561
00:24:08,831 --> 00:24:10,464
"Dear soul sister,
562
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:12,833
"I really goofed this time.
563
00:24:12,902 --> 00:24:17,137
"After Paris, I tried to work
off that fattening French gravy
564
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,706
"skiing in Switzerland.
565
00:24:18,774 --> 00:24:21,308
"I just got the cast off.
566
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:22,710
"Had it autographed for you.
567
00:24:22,778 --> 00:24:25,212
Regards to the
gang. Love, Jenny."
568
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,047
My goodness, look at this.
569
00:24:27,116 --> 00:24:30,217
Jean-Claude Killy? Ooh!
570
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:31,763
My gosh, Peggy Fleming!
571
00:24:31,787 --> 00:24:33,264
( gasps) Sir Edmund Hillary!
572
00:24:33,288 --> 00:24:35,222
Paul Newman!
573
00:24:35,290 --> 00:24:37,224
Look at this. ( phone rings)
574
00:24:37,292 --> 00:24:39,771
He's a racing car driver.
575
00:24:39,795 --> 00:24:41,228
Hello.
576
00:24:41,296 --> 00:24:44,064
Yeah. Who's calling?
577
00:24:44,133 --> 00:24:45,666
Just a minute.
578
00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:47,034
Jan. Yeah?
579
00:24:47,103 --> 00:24:48,235
Stevie for you.
580
00:24:48,303 --> 00:24:49,303
Oh, thanks.
581
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,673
Hello, Stevie.
582
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:55,342
Saturday night?
583
00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:57,560
Yeah. At whose house?
584
00:24:57,629 --> 00:25:00,281
I guess that'll be okay.
585
00:25:00,349 --> 00:25:03,634
Of course, you understand
I'm not ready to settle down yet.
586
00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:07,788
I won't be until
I'm at least 60.
587
00:25:07,857 --> 00:25:09,706
And, even then, I'm not sure.
588
00:25:09,775 --> 00:25:12,091
But Saturday night's okay.
40681
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