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♪ Here's the story ♪
2
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,154
♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
3
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
5
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♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
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♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
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♪ Till the one day when ♪
13
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,734
♪ The lady met this fellow ♪
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♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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♪ That this group ♪
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♪ Must somehow form a family ♪
17
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♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
19
00:00:48,899 --> 00:00:51,249
♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
20
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♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,378
Uh-uh-uh, messing up
the house today is a no-no.
22
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Surprise visitor coming.
23
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,035
Who?
24
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,115
Your mother's
grandmother from Kentucky.
25
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,417
Great-Grandma
Hutchins? Oh, terrific.
26
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,319
Yeah, your mom and
dad went to the airport
27
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,275
to pick her up.
28
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,554
Oh, I can't wait!
29
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,622
It's been years
since we've seen her.
30
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:53,726
Wait till you meet her.
31
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,057
You'll love
Great-Grandma Hutchins.
32
00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:56,876
I'm sure I will. She must
be an old lady by now.
33
00:01:56,900 --> 00:02:00,519
Old? Somehow I
never think of her as old.
34
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:03,288
Me either... she's
got so much go-go-go.
35
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,118
Well, if you haven't
seen her for years,
36
00:02:05,142 --> 00:02:08,860
don't be surprised if some of
her go-go-go is gone-gone-gone.
37
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,060
GRANDMA: What kind
of a welcome is this?
38
00:02:14,084 --> 00:02:16,684
Where's the brass band?
39
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:19,187
Great-Grandma Hutchins!
40
00:02:19,255 --> 00:02:21,807
Oh, Grandma!
41
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,559
Oh, you precious
kiddies just look beautiful.
42
00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,344
And that's without my specs.
43
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,974
Oh, come on, Grandma,
for gosh sakes...
44
00:02:27,998 --> 00:02:30,318
Don't spoil them.
45
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,244
Alice, I'd like you to meet
46
00:02:32,268 --> 00:02:34,313
the pride of
Owensboro, Kentucky,
47
00:02:34,337 --> 00:02:36,897
the one and only
Connie Hutchins.
48
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,768
Put her there, Alice.
49
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,458
I'm delighted to meet
you, Mrs. Hutchins.
50
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,727
I've heard a lot about you.
51
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:43,039
Lies, all lies,
52
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:45,463
unless, of course, it
was something nice.
53
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,432
Grandma, wouldn't you
like to freshen up a bit
54
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,566
after your trip?
55
00:02:48,619 --> 00:02:50,347
Well, that's mighty kind of you.
56
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,669
Well, I'm sorry
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00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,670
we can't have dinner
with you tonight, Grandma.
58
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,923
Oh, yes, we really are.
59
00:02:54,992 --> 00:02:57,003
But like I said, you
caught us by surprise
60
00:02:57,027 --> 00:02:59,806
and we've had that dinner
date with my boss for a week.
61
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,529
Now, don't you worry
about that, honey.
62
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,798
It'll just give me more time
63
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,933
to get to know these
precious children better.
64
00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:07,169
ALICE: Here, kids,
take your books.
65
00:03:07,237 --> 00:03:08,469
I'll show Mrs. Hutchins
66
00:03:08,538 --> 00:03:10,004
where she's going to stay.
67
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:11,283
Boy, what a gal.
68
00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:12,852
How come a woman like that
69
00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:14,253
never got married again?
70
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,644
Well, I guess at her age,
71
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,278
a good man is hard to find.
72
00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:18,627
Listen, at any age
73
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,093
a good man is hard to find.
74
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,415
Yeah, don't I know it.
75
00:03:21,484 --> 00:03:23,462
I'm going to tell
Grandma on you.
76
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:24,970
Did you hear that?
77
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,038
What?
78
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,371
About a good man.
79
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,940
I know a man that would make
80
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,709
a wonderful husband for Grandma,
81
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,210
and he's not hard to find.
82
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:33,511
Who?
83
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,514
Dad's grandfather...
Great-Grandpa Brady. Right!
84
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,768
( doorbell rings)
That's Grandpa!
85
00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:42,654
I'm so excited!
86
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,655
I know!
87
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,123
Oh, he's going to love her!
88
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,827
Hi, Grandpa! Hi, Grandpa!
89
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,828
Afternoon, my dear.
90
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,541
Oh, it's so good to see you.
91
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,975
Well, it's always a pleasure
92
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:57,602
to help out my
great-granddaughters.
93
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,539
Oh, Grandpa, about
that term paper...
94
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,974
um, I found what I
needed in my civics books,
95
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,009
so I'm sorry I bothered you.
96
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,322
But we're glad
you're here anyway,
97
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,657
'cause there's a visitor
we want you to meet.
98
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:08,725
Oh?
99
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,381
Our great-grandmother
from Kentucky.
100
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,382
She's really with it.
101
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,918
And far out.
102
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,266
With it?
103
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,287
Far out?
104
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,674
Well, children nowadays
seem to have trouble
105
00:04:19,743 --> 00:04:24,011
expressing themselves with
words from the English language.
106
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,298
Well, that's modern
English, Grandpa.
107
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:29,834
Well, modern,
perhaps... English, no.
108
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,269
Come on.
109
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:38,326
Hi, Judge Brady.
110
00:04:38,395 --> 00:04:39,905
Good afternoon, Alice.
111
00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,028
How have you been?
112
00:04:41,098 --> 00:04:43,342
Oh, splendid, thank you.
113
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:47,034
But, as Pliny the
Elder said to Seneca
114
00:04:47,104 --> 00:04:50,171
when they met in the Forum,
115
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,842
"Omne ignotum pro magnifico."
116
00:04:54,911 --> 00:04:56,151
( laughs)
117
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,246
( laughs)
118
00:04:58,315 --> 00:05:01,182
Oh, that Pliny really knew
where his head was at.
119
00:05:02,285 --> 00:05:05,353
Alice... MARCIA:
Come on, Grandpa.
120
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,356
( boys laughing)
121
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,028
( whistle blows)
122
00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:16,381
Foul! Charging.
123
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,716
I can't help it.
124
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:19,251
They're taller than I am.
125
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,153
Well, sonny...
126
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,350
you have got to
try to find a way
127
00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:25,807
to outsmart them.
128
00:05:25,875 --> 00:05:28,777
Now, I'm going to show you
the way Jerry West does it.
129
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:31,123
You just stand over there
and watch, okay? Okay.
130
00:05:31,147 --> 00:05:32,987
You two boys try to guard me.
131
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,818
You boys ready?
132
00:05:36,886 --> 00:05:38,553
Here I come.
133
00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:45,155
Watch it. Back, back...
Get her, Grandma!
134
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,572
You can make it!
135
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,813
Right behind you!
136
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,631
Go on, shoot! You can make it!
137
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,700
BOBBY: Come on!
138
00:05:52,969 --> 00:05:54,249
Shoot!
139
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,733
Beautiful!
140
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,124
That was great, Grandma!
141
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,358
Yep. Well, honey,
142
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,527
that's what you
call a real fake-out.
143
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,563
You just got to...
have the moves.
144
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,109
Now, come on. You try it.
145
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,232
Okay.
146
00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:11,753
GRANDMA: Watch it...
147
00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:14,155
That's your great-grandmother?
148
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,958
Yep, that's Great-Grandma.
149
00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:21,496
Hmm!
150
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,344
While you two get acquainted,
151
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:26,980
I'll make you some lemonade.
152
00:06:27,004 --> 00:06:29,638
Well, that's mighty kind
of you, Alice. Thank you.
153
00:06:29,706 --> 00:06:34,442
Thank you. That would
be very pleasant indeed.
154
00:06:34,511 --> 00:06:36,055
Well, you know, I've never met
155
00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:37,757
a real, live judge before.
156
00:06:37,781 --> 00:06:40,598
Well, I'm retired at present.
157
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,049
What happened?
158
00:06:42,118 --> 00:06:44,297
You get tired of sending
them to the pokey?
159
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,354
Madam, I'd like to think
160
00:06:46,423 --> 00:06:48,256
I dispensed justice fairly
161
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:51,560
in the 40 years I
sat on the bench.
162
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:54,039
40 years on the bench? Whoo!
163
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:56,547
You must have picked
up a seat full of splinters.
164
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,617
( laughs)
165
00:06:59,369 --> 00:07:02,515
You know, there's something
I've always wondered about judges.
166
00:07:02,539 --> 00:07:04,939
What would that be?
167
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,719
Is it true that on hot days,
168
00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:10,862
judges don't wear any
pants under their robes?
169
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,431
My good woman,
170
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,568
I certainly can't
speak for all judges,
171
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:19,303
but I assure you, hot or cold,
172
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,874
I always wore my trousers.
173
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,443
Too bad.
174
00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:28,390
Here's your lemonade.
175
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,960
Thank you, kiddies.
You're welcome.
176
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,016
It looks like you two
177
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,262
are really getting
to know each other.
178
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,418
Well, these past few moments
179
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,621
have proved most illuminating.
180
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,622
Right on.
181
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,056
Groovy.
182
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,193
Uh... delightful.
183
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:43,795
Splendid.
184
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,697
That's better.
185
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,647
Hi, Alice. Hi, Alice. Hi.
186
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,170
Hi, kids.
187
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:55,540
Uh, Alice... how do you feel
188
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,992
about helping two
people fall in love?
189
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,861
( chuckles)
190
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:02,597
I'm all for it, especially
if one of the two people
191
00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:03,965
turns out to be me.
192
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,584
We're talking about
Grandma and Grandpa.
193
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,020
Grandma and Grandpa?
194
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,651
Well, you see, right after
Mom and Dad go out,
195
00:08:11,675 --> 00:08:13,586
all us other kids will give
excuses to leave, too.
196
00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:16,678
So you can serve
Grandma and Grandpa
197
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,980
a romantic, candlelight
dinner for two.
198
00:08:19,049 --> 00:08:21,099
Oh, you little devils, you.
199
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,434
Okay, Alice?
200
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,812
Okay. Oh, thank you.
201
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,703
You get them to
the launching pad
202
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,939
and I'll fuel them
up for a blastoff.
203
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:31,367
Great! JAN: Thank you.
204
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,477
There you are.
205
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,747
Thank you.
206
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:42,236
Well, here's to today
and to auld lang syne,
207
00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:46,540
here's to good
health, yours and mine.
208
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,409
Up the flagpole.
209
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,414
( sighs)
210
00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:55,149
( sniffing)
211
00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:57,651
Something wrong
with yours, Judge?
212
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,355
Eh? Oh, no.
213
00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:04,392
I was merely enjoying the
opalescent play of colors
214
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,363
and the tantalizing bouquet.
215
00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:10,042
Well, while you're
doing all that,
216
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:11,633
would you mind hitting me again?
217
00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:16,354
Pardon? Oh, yes, of course.
218
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:20,541
You just hold your
glass, and I'll pour.
219
00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:21,959
There you go.
220
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,129
All the way, honey.
221
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,266
Grandpa, Grandma.
222
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,267
Hi.
223
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,646
I'm sorry, but I'm going
224
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:31,603
to have to skip dinner tonight.
225
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,605
Oh, that's too bad.
226
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:34,717
Got a heavy date.
227
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,185
You know how it is.
228
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,009
We remember how it was.
229
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,543
Don't we, Judge?
230
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:40,656
Good night.
231
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,141
Bobby and I have to go, too.
232
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,210
My friend Willy's
got a sprained ankle
233
00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:45,311
and he's racked up in bed.
234
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,745
Yeah, we're going
over to cheer him up.
235
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:49,954
Well, that's very commendable.
236
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,724
You know, as Homer said,
237
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:58,012
"Friendship is
proved by adversity."
238
00:09:58,081 --> 00:10:00,698
Uh, yeah.
239
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,534
That's right.
240
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,979
Bye. Bye.
241
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,348
Hey, Greg, wait up.
You can drop us off.
242
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,449
Grandma, Grandpa, sorry
we can't stay for dinner.
243
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:08,684
Our ballet teacher's
having a recital.
244
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:09,640
We said we'd come.
245
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,841
We promised.
246
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:15,246
Good-bye, children. Have fun.
247
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,549
Well, Judge, that
leaves just you and me.
248
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:22,520
Here's to solitary confinement.
249
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:25,156
Pardon?
250
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,157
Come on, honey,
251
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,627
where's your sense of humor?
252
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,936
( chuckles feebly)
253
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,633
( soft romantic music playing)
254
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,785
Why is it people have to eat
255
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,455
in the dark, I wonder?
256
00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:42,657
Is, uh, is everything
all right, folks?
257
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,537
Oh, out of sight, Alice.
258
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,494
My compliments, Alice.
259
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:47,695
Thank you.
260
00:10:47,764 --> 00:10:48,974
Wait till you see the dessert.
261
00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:50,476
There you are, sweetie.
262
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,166
Thanks.
263
00:10:54,371 --> 00:10:57,705
I wonder why we need that music.
264
00:10:57,774 --> 00:11:00,085
Ooh, I like it... turns me on.
265
00:11:00,109 --> 00:11:02,910
Makes me feel like I
want to dance... hoo-hoo!
266
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:03,911
Well, not me.
267
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:06,113
Oh, come on, Judgie.
268
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:08,827
I'll bet you used to fox a
pretty mean trot in your day.
269
00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:10,918
Ha-ha-ha!
270
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:12,831
Come on. How
about a little dance?
271
00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:14,199
Good for your digestion.
272
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:15,334
Come on. Get up there.
273
00:11:15,358 --> 00:11:16,435
That's the way. Come on.
274
00:11:16,459 --> 00:11:17,775
Madam,
275
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:21,612
don't you think this farce
has gone far enough?
276
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,097
Farce?
277
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:26,550
Your entire
transparent scheme...
278
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:30,705
The children conveniently
disappearing...
279
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,041
a cozy dinner for two...
280
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,560
romantic music
and candlelight...
281
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,645
You think I planned all this?
282
00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:39,880
I think it's obvious.
283
00:11:40,884 --> 00:11:43,417
But your romantic fantasies
284
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:46,053
are not about to come true.
285
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,000
( with French accent):
Madame, monsieur...
286
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:49,669
The crepes suzettes,
they are ready.
287
00:11:49,693 --> 00:11:51,103
Romantic fantasies!
288
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,728
Who'd... who'd want
an old goat like you?
289
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:56,780
Old goat?
290
00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,966
Yes, old goat!
291
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:05,323
Madam... may I remind you...
292
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:10,795
that you are no
spring... chicken yourself.
293
00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:15,049
Excuse me.
294
00:12:16,619 --> 00:12:17,685
Oh, Judge!
295
00:12:17,754 --> 00:12:19,799
And it's too late to apologize.
296
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,122
Apologize, my foot!
297
00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:24,726
You forgot your hat!
298
00:12:26,929 --> 00:12:28,173
Good evening.
299
00:12:28,197 --> 00:12:29,530
Good-bye!
300
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,922
Hi, Alice.
301
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,368
Good morning.
GREG: Good morning.
302
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,959
Hey, where's Grandma?
303
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,838
About on her
third lap, I'd guess.
304
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,106
Third lap?
305
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,363
Around the block.
306
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,276
She came in, grabbed
an orange, and jogged off
307
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,566
sucking the orange.
308
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,245
She really is something.
309
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,047
Alice, did she have a
nice evening with Grandpa?
310
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,305
Well, I think
there's a better word
311
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,040
to describe it than nice.
312
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,041
Wonderful?
313
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,110
No.
314
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,155
Beautiful? No.
315
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:00,445
What?
316
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,480
Disaster-ful.
317
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,726
Oh, what happened?
318
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,117
Well, at dinner, one
word led to another,
319
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:09,053
and by the time they
put all the words together,
320
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,421
they weren't talking.
321
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,123
Oh, no.
322
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,219
What started it?
323
00:13:13,243 --> 00:13:14,675
Well, I don't know
how it started,
324
00:13:14,744 --> 00:13:15,909
but I do know how it ended.
325
00:13:15,978 --> 00:13:16,978
How?
326
00:13:17,012 --> 00:13:18,512
She called him an old goat.
327
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,615
And then he called
her an old chicken,
328
00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:22,516
and he split the barnyard.
329
00:13:22,585 --> 00:13:24,536
We've got to do something.
330
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,837
We can't let them stay
angry at each other.
331
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,089
I told you not to meddle.
332
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,284
MARCIA: Hi, Grandma.
333
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,931
GREG: Morning.
334
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:45,122
Morning, there.
335
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:47,842
Think fast, sonny.
336
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:48,976
Ooh, I'll tell you.
337
00:13:49,044 --> 00:13:50,945
Nothing like a
mile in the morning
338
00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:52,747
to get that blood circulating.
339
00:13:52,816 --> 00:13:55,666
I understand you had a little
argument with Grandpa last night.
340
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,051
Marcia, I wouldn't
speak to that man again
341
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,120
if he was the only
one on Earth left
342
00:14:00,189 --> 00:14:02,034
with the key to the wine cellar.
343
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,692
Grandma, I'm sure he
didn't mean what he said.
344
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,694
I know what he meant.
345
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,029
For the first time,
346
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,177
he was talking in
English instead of Latin.
347
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:13,167
I'm sure it was just
a misunderstanding.
348
00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:16,203
Not on my part, honey.
349
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:20,073
Can you imagine him thinking
I was trying to trap him? Ha!
350
00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:21,754
I wouldn't take him
on a silver platter
351
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,544
with an apple in his mouth.
352
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:27,765
Grandma... Him calling me old?
353
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,010
His wrinkles have got wrinkles,
354
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,001
and he's calling me old.
355
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,703
Oh, I'm getting so steamed up
356
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,072
I think I'm going to
have to take another lap.
357
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,067
You're never going to get
anywhere with Grandma.
358
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:50,237
Maybe I'll have a
talk with Grandpa.
359
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,051
Why don't you just
leave him alone?
360
00:14:52,075 --> 00:14:53,357
Because if I do,
361
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,760
they'll never get
together and fall in love.
362
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:58,312
Love? Right now, you'd be smart
363
00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,381
to settle for
mutual indifference.
364
00:15:03,753 --> 00:15:05,269
Grandpa, as a judge
365
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:09,573
you always have to be fair
and reasonable, don't you?
366
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,710
I have always been
fair and reasonable.
367
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:13,877
Then, last night
368
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,246
didn't you kind of
convict Grandma Hutchins
369
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,782
on circumstantial evidence?
370
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,195
My dear, that opinion
is open to question.
371
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,252
But Marcia and I
are willing to swear
372
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,999
that Grandma had nothing to do
373
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,983
with arranging
that dinner for two.
374
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:31,679
Well, Jan, if you say so,
then I must accept that fact.
375
00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:33,030
Well, then there's no reason
376
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,065
why you can't phone
her and apologize.
377
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,667
Never.
378
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,736
Nomen est nomen.
379
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,172
What does that mean?
380
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,223
A name is a name.
381
00:15:43,292 --> 00:15:46,627
Old goat, indeed.
382
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:49,046
But that's just a
figure of speech.
383
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,149
And smell.
384
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:55,819
Now, I know she sent you
girls here to say all of this,
385
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,656
but you can tell her for me,
386
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:04,428
res non est sub
judicae octum est.
387
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:10,217
Case is thrown out of court.
388
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,888
We told you to butt out.
389
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,807
We were just trying
to do something nice.
390
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,171
Marcia, if you ever want to
do something nice for me,
391
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,372
give me a warning.
392
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,274
I want a chance
to get out of town.
393
00:16:22,298 --> 00:16:23,859
Boys are never any help.
394
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,250
Yeah. Bobby's not
even here worrying.
395
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,052
He's out playing in
the park with Grandpa.
396
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,354
Hey, wait a minute.
397
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,323
Bobby's out in the park
playing with Grandpa.
398
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:34,992
That's what I just said.
399
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:37,327
Cindy, how would you like to go
400
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,247
to the park with Grandma?
401
00:16:39,315 --> 00:16:42,066
Watch this perfect
landing, Grandpa.
402
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,067
All right.
403
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,236
I love coming to the park.
404
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:46,904
Don't you, Grandma?
405
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:48,772
Oh, I sure do, honey.
406
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,342
I've loved coming to the park
407
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,078
ever since I was a
little girl just your age...
408
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,065
which was only a few weeks ago.
409
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,221
Oh, I think you need a
little more rudder there.
410
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,123
Yeah.
411
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,336
Come here, and
let's take a look.
412
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:10,360
Hey, look, there's Grandpa!
413
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,646
Oh!
414
00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:13,159
Careful, sweetheart.
415
00:17:13,183 --> 00:17:15,716
I don't have my
running shoes on.
416
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,385
Bobby, what a pleasant surprise.
417
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,631
What's your surprise?
418
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:20,899
I always come here.
419
00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:22,723
There's something
on the other side
420
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,375
of the park you've got to see.
421
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,470
What is it?
422
00:17:25,494 --> 00:17:26,560
It's a squirrel.
423
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,740
I've seen millions of squirrels.
424
00:17:28,764 --> 00:17:30,364
CINDY: This one's
collecting nuts.
425
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:32,211
BOBBY: They all collect nuts.
426
00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:33,785
We'll be right back.
427
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:41,592
You may sit down, madam.
428
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,311
It's all yours.
429
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:48,115
( chuckles)
430
00:17:48,184 --> 00:17:49,750
( chuckling)
431
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:53,403
May one inquire as to
what you find so amusing?
432
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,273
You've got that silly hat
perched on your head
433
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:57,741
just like you did last night
434
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,777
when you marched
out of that room
435
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,962
with smoke coming
out of your ears.
436
00:18:02,031 --> 00:18:07,000
I believe I left with
my customary dignity.
437
00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:10,504
Oh, by the way...
438
00:18:13,543 --> 00:18:16,410
I believe I owe you an apology.
439
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:23,534
I... jumped to a
conclusion last night
440
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,620
which I understand was not true.
441
00:18:28,391 --> 00:18:32,393
Well, I guess I owe
you an apology, too.
442
00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:34,528
But when I get
hot under the collar
443
00:18:34,597 --> 00:18:38,181
my mouth just flies
off in all directions.
444
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:44,922
Well, perhaps we
were both at fault.
445
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,969
Good day, Mrs. Hutchins.
446
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:49,426
Oh, what's your hurry, Judge?
447
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:50,928
Eh?
448
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,664
Well, why don't you just park it
449
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,199
here on the bench
450
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,434
and give it another trial?
451
00:18:57,504 --> 00:19:00,420
Well... Come on.
452
00:19:00,489 --> 00:19:05,258
Perhaps... just for a moment.
453
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:07,311
It's working!
454
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,331
Oh, by the way, Mrs. Hutchins...
455
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,034
Oh, make that
Connie, will you, Hank?
456
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:15,336
Hank?
457
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:16,736
Hank.
458
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,505
Hank? Mm-hmm.
459
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:21,141
( laughs)
460
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:23,743
( wheezes, coughs)
461
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,081
Nobody's called me Hank
462
00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:30,184
since the first day I
was admitted to the bar.
463
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,352
( laughs)
464
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:35,155
Well, maybe it's
time they started.
465
00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:36,991
Maybe you're right.
466
00:19:37,059 --> 00:19:39,393
Oh, um, Mrs. Hutchins...
467
00:19:39,462 --> 00:19:42,129
Make it Connie, please, Hank.
468
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:43,630
Connie.
469
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:47,134
About that question
you asked me yesterday.
470
00:19:47,203 --> 00:19:48,803
Oh? What question was that?
471
00:19:48,871 --> 00:19:52,311
That question about
whether judges always wear
472
00:19:52,374 --> 00:19:56,977
their trousers
underneath their robes.
473
00:19:57,046 --> 00:20:01,982
Confidentially, I
once got up so late
474
00:20:02,051 --> 00:20:06,153
I had to wear my
pajamas all day long.
475
00:20:06,222 --> 00:20:07,822
( both laughing)
476
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:11,058
I'll bet you thought
you were in night court.
477
00:20:13,562 --> 00:20:16,096
Oh, I'm so sorry.
478
00:20:16,165 --> 00:20:17,881
Let me fix that.
479
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,252
Oh, that's... that's all right.
480
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,320
Thank you.
481
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:31,462
If you'd, um, still like to see
482
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:34,865
the sights of our fair city,
483
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:39,286
I'd be pleased to
show you around.
484
00:20:39,355 --> 00:20:42,239
That's mighty kind of you, Hank.
485
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:43,841
I would love to.
486
00:20:45,294 --> 00:20:47,706
Well, perhaps we could start
487
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:51,565
with a drive to the
beach this afternoon
488
00:20:51,633 --> 00:20:53,633
and then, this evening,
489
00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:57,637
there is a string
ensemble playing Mozart.
490
00:20:57,706 --> 00:21:00,040
A string...
491
00:21:00,109 --> 00:21:05,179
Well, there is also
a... what do you call it?
492
00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:07,081
A groovy concert
493
00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:12,253
at some establishment
called the Rock Bottom.
494
00:21:12,321 --> 00:21:14,722
Well, that's more like it, Hank.
495
00:21:14,791 --> 00:21:17,825
You're finally
getting it all together.
496
00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:25,999
( banging)
497
00:21:27,402 --> 00:21:29,169
Mike, wake up.
498
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,339
What's the matter?
499
00:21:32,408 --> 00:21:34,085
I heard a strange noise.
500
00:21:34,109 --> 00:21:35,242
Oh, honey.
501
00:21:35,311 --> 00:21:37,611
Why is it you always
hear strange noises
502
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,146
in the middle of the night
503
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,081
instead of during broad daylight
504
00:21:41,150 --> 00:21:43,450
when I'm awake?
505
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:45,797
Well, maybe I imagined it.
506
00:21:45,821 --> 00:21:49,757
( banging repeats)
507
00:21:49,825 --> 00:21:51,558
I just imagined it, too.
508
00:21:51,627 --> 00:21:53,160
I'll go take a look.
509
00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:55,763
You're not going
down there alone.
510
00:21:55,831 --> 00:21:57,331
I'm going with you.
511
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:03,254
Listen, if you want
to, you can go first.
512
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:06,590
Come on.
513
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:15,031
Mike, I know I heard something.
514
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,177
I heard it, too.
515
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,879
Why do you think I got up
516
00:22:17,903 --> 00:22:20,463
in the middle of the night?
517
00:22:26,128 --> 00:22:28,312
Honey, Grandma is leaving.
518
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:32,060
Suppose she had
another fight with Grandpa?
519
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:33,718
Gee, I don't know.
520
00:22:39,174 --> 00:22:40,808
Going somewhere, Grandma?
521
00:22:40,877 --> 00:22:43,589
Sorry, kiddies. Didn't
mean to wake you up.
522
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,345
Is it because of the judge?
523
00:22:45,414 --> 00:22:46,491
Yep. Sure is.
524
00:22:46,515 --> 00:22:47,792
Something he said?
525
00:22:47,816 --> 00:22:50,467
Yep. That's it, exactly.
526
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,752
What'd he say?
527
00:22:52,821 --> 00:22:54,883
He said, "Let's get hitched."
528
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,006
Married?
529
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:59,509
Yeah. We're
eloping to Las Vegas.
530
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:02,646
And don't you try to stop us.
531
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,864
Stop you? We
couldn't be happier.
532
00:23:04,933 --> 00:23:07,513
But we'd love to give you a
wedding with all the trimmings.
533
00:23:07,537 --> 00:23:08,647
Can't you wait?
534
00:23:08,671 --> 00:23:11,088
Oh, honey, we haven't got time.
535
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:14,691
At our age, every minute
counts. Right, Hank?
536
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,211
But there is one thing
you could do for us.
537
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,659
I'd prefer you kept this quiet.
538
00:23:20,683 --> 00:23:22,994
I'd get a good deal of ribbing
539
00:23:23,018 --> 00:23:25,452
from my chums at the chess club.
540
00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:26,920
( laughs)
541
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,039
Our lips are sealed.
542
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:31,124
We won't say a word.
543
00:23:31,193 --> 00:23:33,610
Neither will I.
544
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,979
ALL: Neither will we.
545
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,817
Well, good-bye, kiddies.
546
00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:42,052
Thanks for everything.
547
00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:43,553
Come on, Hank.
548
00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:46,023
Yes, my dear.
549
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,100
No. That's wrong.
550
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,980
You use the associative property
551
00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,347
instead of the
commutative property.
552
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,704
Oh, sure.
553
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,606
Kids, kids, we got a postcard
554
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,385
from your great-grandma
and grandpa.
555
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:06,287
Oh, wow. What
does it say, Alice?
556
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,713
Let's see... "Hi, everybody,
here we are in Las Vegas...
557
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,649
"Mr. and Mrs. Hank Brady.
558
00:24:11,717 --> 00:24:14,752
"Had a problem with
the justice of the peace
559
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:18,656
when he refused to marry us
without consent of our parents."
560
00:24:18,724 --> 00:24:20,936
Oh, wow, that must have
been some wedding. Go on.
561
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,093
"At the wedding...
at the wedding dinner
562
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:25,262
"we had caviar and champagne.
563
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,665
"That is, he had champagne.
564
00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:31,368
"The waiter refused to
serve me without an ID card.
565
00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:33,303
"I have to say good-bye now
566
00:24:33,372 --> 00:24:37,007
because Hank and I have
a date to go waterskiing."
567
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:39,076
Waterskiing? I can't believe it.
568
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,678
Me either.
569
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:43,613
"Tell everybody
they can believe it."
38664
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