All language subtitles for The.OC.S01E10.WEBRip.x265-ION265

[female narrator]
Previously on, "The OC.."

What you want,
and what your daughter wants

are two different things.

You don't know what she wants!

I know what she doesn't want.

I wanna live with dad.
At least, for now.

Why don't you train me
in the ways

of women, huh?
Give me a little advice.

Why're you helping him
with Summer?

Seth doesn't see me that way.

We're friends.

And you're gonna
let that slide?

Is this all part of the plan?

This is a policy-changing

career-making
piece of litigation.

My wife's company
is the plaintiff.

It's her father's company.

- 'You're gonna take this.'
- It's who you married.

If your marriage can't survive

this, what kinda marriage is it?

[Ryan]
I wanna make it work..

...no matter what.

[breathing heavily]

[instrumental music]

Ticklish.

Sorry.

♪ I've been watching
your world from afar ♪

♪ I've been trying to.. ♪

What time do you have?

Mm, almost 11:00.

What time do you have
to be back at your dad's?

Mm, soon.

[mumbling]
How soon?

Now?

♪ To me ♪

♪ You're strange
and you're beautiful ♪

You can't call,
say you'll be late?

I'm already late.

[chuckling]
It's a school night.

♪ ...can't see ♪

♪ You turn every head.. ♪

It's too bad you don't
still live next-door.

Yeah, but then I'd have
to talk to my mom.

You haven't talked to her?

No.

She keeps trying to call me

but there's absolutely
no way that I'm--

Hey.

♪ When I put a spell on you.. ♪

Sorry.

♪ And when I wake you I'll be
the first thing you see.. ♪

Maybe this weekend, we could
spend a whole night together.

♪ ...realize that you love me ♪♪

You know, we could go out.

We could, uh, do something.

Finally have
our first official date.

No school, no parents, just us.

Saturday night?

Cool.

Hey, Ryan, Sandy's
stuck at the offi..

Oh, my God.

I'm-I'm so sorry.

Hey, Kirsten.

Hey, Marissa.

I-I didn't know that you had

uh-uh-uh, company.

Yeah, well, um,
I was just gonna go.

So, uh, see ya.

- Later.
- 'Goodnight.'

Drive safely.

This never happened with Seth.

[theme song]

♪ California here we come ♪

♪ Right back where
we started from ♪

♪ California ♪♪ California ♪

♪ Here we come ♪

♪ Oh ♪♪

You walked in on him?

Well, at least I knocked.

Ryan and Marissa Cooper.
I knew it.

- Didn't I tell you?
- No.

No?

[Kristen]
'Sandy, maybe you should..'

...talk to him?

- About what?
- You know. Sex.

Oh, sounds like Ryan
knows what he's doing.

I mean, sex in the house.

Right, 'cause we obviously
don't believe in that.

We don't?

Well, based on my recent
experience, or lack thereof

I'd have to say no,
no, we don't.

Hey, I'm not the one
that is coming home

from the office at midnight.

Oh, you're coming home
at 11:45.

Well, I might be
coming home earlier

if your firm
wasn't suing my company.

Well, look,
maybe we'll get lucky

and settle
at the conference tomorrow.

Maybe, we'll get lucky tonight.

Oh...I'd settle for that.

- What time?
- How about eight?

- Eh..
- Nine?

9:30.

If you are not home by
10 o'clock..

- Yeah?
- ...I'm starting without you.

Oh..

[Ryan]
'Morning.'

Um, hi.

We're all very proud.

Uh, thanks. And sorry.

I just wanted to say...
sorry about last night.

Sorry about what, man?
What did I miss?

Maybe you should
talk to him? Hmm?

I appreciate you guys being
so cool about everything.

Hey, Ryan, Ryan.
Cool about what?

So I'll see you tonight.

- We should get going, too.
- Wait, hang on.

I'm not going anywhere,
until somebody tells me

what happened last night.

Mom, would you
please fill me in?

Mom! I.. Oh, I get it.

I'm just here
for the comic relief.

[Seth]
So what exactly did my mom
catch you guys doing?

[Ryan]
Nothing.

[Seth]
Nothing, huh?

So you guys haven't..

No, we haven't even
had our first date yet.

- Last night doesn't count?
- No.

Going out Saturday night.

Good. Great.

But you-you have before, right?

Okay.
Wow, that's what I thought.

I just didn't wanna
jump to conclusions

because my experience
is sort of limited.

- And?
- And what?

Was it awesome?

Which time?

Uh...there-there, I don't know..

How many,
how many times were there?

Same girl,
or different girls?

There were...
different girls?

How many-how many
different girls w-were there?

[sighs]

I have to sit down.

So, what happened?
I want details.

- Nothing happened.
- What's his problem?

There is no problem.

I just don't know
if I'm ready yet.

But Luke already took care
of that awkward, painful part.

Yeah, and look how well
that turned out.

Look, Ryan and I, we're still
getting to know each other.

I mean, we're going
on our first date Saturday.

Well, that should be romantic.

Sorry, Coop. It's just what does
Chino know about a date?

Where he's from, they don't even
have a PF Chang's.

So when you lost
your virginity

I was-I was playing
Magic: The Gathering.

You still play Magic.

Yeah, but not as much.

- Hey.
- Hey!

What are you guys
talking about?

Nothing.
Ryan was just telling me

about your-your big date.

'He's got a whole thing
happening.'

- 'Sounds amazing.'
- 'Wow.'

There's a
"Whole thing happening?"

[Seth]
'Yeah, but shh...
it's a surprise.'

It's gonna be the best date
ever. Okay?

I have to go.

- Summer, I'll walk you to bio?
- I can walk myself.

Great, then you can
walk me to it.

Best date ever, huh?

[Rachel]
'The ecological risk assessment
backs up our claim'

that the land Caleb Nichol
is planning to develop

should be considered
as wetlands.

Ah...great, great.

We'll get into that tomorrow.

And what do you got tonight,
a hot date?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Sandy Cohen,
you are cheating on me..

...with your wife.

I'm trying.

What is it, your anniversary?

No, it's just, you know

we haven't seen
each other in a while, so we

we thought that we'd..

Go on a date.
Why not? Good idea.

After all, it's not like we have
our big settlement conference

tomorrow, where the fate of
Orange County's environment

hangs in the balance.

Alright.

The date'll even be better
after the conference.

Less stress.

Dad, good news. Oh!

I-I'm sorry,
I didn't know you..

- Julie!
- Kirsten.

Your father and I
were just talking about you.

This man just
single-handedly saved

the Children's Hospital benefit.

- I did no such thing.
- Oh, he's so modest.

I had just lost
the Buckley Yacht

when he graciously agreed
to let me host the event on his.

The man just gives and gives.

[chuckles]

I-I didn't know that
you were organizing

the Children's Hospital benefit.

Well, I wasn't going to,
but then I thought

it's time I stopped dwelling
on my own problems

and got back to focusing
on the needs of others, right?

So, must be off.

Cal..

[Julie]
'I owe you big-time.'

- Bye, Kirsten.
- Bye, Julie.

[chuckling]
She is something. Isn't she?

She's that.

You know, you are now
the official sponsor

of the Julie Cooper
comeback tour.

It's for charity.

Besides,
after all the bad press

her husband's been getting us,
it can't hurt the company

to be involved in a good cause.

So, what's your good news?

We can have that
working dinner after all.

Sandy canceled your date?

They've last-minute prep work
to do on the meeting tomorrow.

- By "They," you mean, Sandy--
- Rachel, yes.

- And you say she's attractive.
- Dad--

And he got in at midnight
last night?

- I trust him.
- You know what they say.

The only man a girl
should trust is her father.

They're working together.

That's all.

I suggest we do the same.

I'll see you later.

I don't understand
why you don't just take her

to dinner and a movie,
it's a classic combination.

Because somebody promised her
the best date ever.

Ryan, I went ahead, and I did
a little recon on your behalf.

I was extremely stealth,
and I spoke to Summer, okay?

And I asked her what would
Marissa want on a date?

'What would she really enjoy?'

- She told me she didn't know.
- How helpful.

But Summer's three favorite
activities

are shopping,
tanning and waxing.

Maybe there's something there,
they're best friends. Use that.

And here I thought,
Summer was superficial.

I have no car, no money.

Whatever I do,
it's just gonna disappoint her.

What do you usually do
on dates?

- Never actually been on one.
- Wait, hey.

I thought you just told me
that you--

Yeah, I've hung out with girls.

We just never really..

...went out.

- Oh, got it.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go to class.

- I'll keep working on it.
- 'Yeah, you've done enough.'

Bye. Come on.

Hey, what do you think Summer's
three favorite movies are?

Um, Battleship Potemkin

Seventh Seal and Shoah.

- Definitely.
- What?

Can we just like not talk about
Summer for five minutes?

We talk about her all the time.

No, we don't.

We don't. We talk about all
sorts of things all the time.

We talk about music.
We talk about sailing. What?

Right, about how you named
your boat after her

how you made her a burned CD
with all your favorite songs

with the word "summer" in it.

Wow, I'm sorry,
I was under the impression

that we were friends who,
I don't know

talk about our-our
thoughts and stuff.

We are, so, I guess

you're finally hearing
some of mine.

I'm gonna go back for dessert.

[indistinct chattering]

[birds squawking]

Hey, Dad, I'm..

...home.

- Hi, sweetie.
- What are you doing here?

Your mother was in
the neighborhood and she thought

she'd stop by,
and see how we're doing.

How are we doing, mom?

Marissa, why don't you come
here and-and talk to us? Okay?

Come on over and sit down.

I'm throwing a party.

I'm hosting the Children's
Hospital benefit this Saturday.

They're trying to build
a new wing for the children..

...and I would love it
if you could both be there.

Your father's already agreed.

No. No way.

Marissa, honey..

...this party is a chance for us
to show the community

that we still belong.

That we're still a family.

Yes, we've suffered
some setbacks.

Your father's business
in particular.

But it's important for us
to let everybody know

the Cooper family is back.

Why do you care
what other people think?

[Jimmy]
'Look, Marissa.'

No one has fewer nice things

to say about your mother
than me.

No offense,
but...she's been pouring

her heart out to me, and I think
you're gonna wanna hear

'what she has to say.'

Marissa, I am so sorry

for the way I handled things
at the hospital.

I was scared.

And I was wrong.

Everything I cared about
was falling apart

and I was blaming
everybody but myself.

I just want us to feel
like a family again.

And now, I know it's going
to take some time

and I'm gonna need your help.

Will you help me?

[door knocks]

Wow, knocking. It's open.

Bad news.

I know you had Saturday night

all planned,
but something's come up.

Oh, that sucks.

We're gonna be spending
a romantic night on a yacht

for this charity event
hosted by..

- My mom.
- Your mom?

- Your mom hates me.
- No, no! She doesn't hate you.

She just doesn't know you.

But now, she'll have her chance.

But we had a date
Saturday night.

I mean, there was
a "Whole thing happening."

I know, but my mom came
by today and apologized

to me and my dad,
and it seems like she's changed.

Hey, if my parents
got back together

and my dad found a job..

...then my life could
go back to normal again.

Or maybe I should stay away
for a while, give you guys--

Look, first date stuff.
Candy, flowers, that's easy.

Candy, flowers, right.

But it's times like these

when a girl needs
her boyfriend the most.

Boyfriend..

Well, I mean..

...aren't we..

I-I-I guess.

I've just never been
a boyfriend before.

But you've had girlfriends?

Yeah. No, not girlfriends.

Just girls that,
you know, I've..

Your mom, Saturday night,
I can't wait.

Great.

Now, the fact is, yes,
I admit it.

I occasionally talk
about Summer.

Maybe I even talk
about her too much

but it's not really
the point, is it?

Hi.

So get this.

Anna thinks, all I ever do

is talk about Summer.

I mean, that's crazy, right?

You want me to lie?

I'm that guy?

Dude, how can I be that guy?
I hate that guy.

Well, then no wonder
Summer doesn't have

any interest in me
'cause apparently, all I do..

...is I talk about Summer.

Although, you'd think
she'd like that.

- You're doing it again.
- Right.

Sorry I had to cancel
our date last night.

- What time did you get home?
- Almost two.

Mm.
What was the last-minute crisis?

As opposing counsel

you know
I'm not at liberty to say.

Is Rachel's boyfriend
as understanding as I am?

Rachel doesn't have
a boyfriend.

Mm, go figure.

You know, some people
who don't like their life

make work their life.

Well, that's not me.

And I'll tell you this..

...if our settlement conference
goes well today..

...I could be home by six.

Is that a bribe, Counselor?

Uh-huh.

Hey!

Did you have the talk?

I like to lead by example.

[laughs]

You and Julie Cooper
trapped on a boat, huh?

Yeah, can't wait to see
how that one goes.

I don't really have a choice.

Since she's my girlfriend.

What? Girlfriend?

I thought that
you didn't do girlfriends.

I mean, you did 'em,
but you know what I'm saying.

I don't. And this is not
a good way to start.

- At least, you'll be there.
- No, I won't. Who'd I bring?

I can't take Summer.

Or I could..

Do you think she would go?
I don't know.

I'm doing it again! Yeah.

Or you know
who you could ask?

I could take a friend.
Interesting.

Okay.

I'm never gonna mention
Summer's name to you again.

Except for that, from now on

all you and I are gonna discuss

are things that
we both have in common

like how do you feel about
Newport charity events, huh?

- I hate them.
- Me, too.

So, what do you say,
you come with me to one

we'll hang out, and we'll just
quietly mock people.

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm?

- Is Summer gonna be there?
- I don't know. Who cares?

If anything happens
between me and Summer

you will not hear about it
from me, okay?

I promise.

On our friendship.

Okay.

[Rachel]
Obviously, the US Fish
and Wildlife Service's

ecological risk
assessment asserts

that the land adjacent
to the wetlands

should be considered wetlands
as well.

Well, why stop there,
Counselor?

Why not include
the land adjacent

to the land adjacent
to the wetlands?

Mr. Nichol, I'm sure your
attorney has already explained

that it's only a matter of time
before the state

acquires the land
by eminent domain.

It took the state five years
to purchase the Balboa wetlands.

Let's cut to the chase,
shall we?

How much is the land trust
offering me

for Balboa Heights?

Mr. Cohen.

I was beginning to wonder about
your involvement in all of this.

Thank you all for coming.

- This meeting is adjourned.
- Where are you going?

Well, I mean, that's it?

That's your whole
dog-and-pony show?

I'm disappointed.

What have you two been doing?

I mean, Kiki tells me that
you've been in the office

alone together every night

till two in the morning?

Feel free to counter,
Mr. Nichol.

Why is she doing
all the talking?

'Are you just here to insure
that your firm'

'makes the early edition again?'

"Father and son-in-law
fight for the Heights."

I gotta tell you, Cal.

I've dealt with a lot of shady
characters in my line of work

'but I've never seen
anyone stoop as low as you.'

You'll poison anything.
The air, the water.

Even your daughter's marriage,
as long as you profit.

You've been living
off my profits.

If you think
I'm bought and paid for..

...you just wait
till I get you on the stand.

'Don't let my silence here
mislead you.'

I'm taking you down.

Counselor.

I think I hit a nerve.

[instrumental music]

I forgot I had this dress.

Happens to me all the time.

My mom bought it for me.
Seems appropriate.

You know, I think your mom
would understand

if you told her you
didn't wanna do this.

Except I do.

Right, that's what I meant. I..

Marissa..

...this event is important,
and on a yacht

and whenever I go to one
of these things

somebody gets into a fight.

You're gonna be fine.

[door knocks]

Ryan, hi.

'So nice to see you
in your room again.'

You could sleep here tonight
if you want.

Uh, it's okay.

But thanks.

Just thought I'd ask.

Oh, I love this dress.
You remember when we bought it?

We had that amazing
lunch in Beverly Hills.

We saw Catherine Zeta-Jones.

- Yeah, I remember.
- So much fun.

Well, we should get to the ship
and help out.

Uh, honey, will you check
and see if Caitlin's ready?

Uh...okay, sure.

So, um, I know that you and I

haven't always seen eye-to-eye..

...but I wanna say
that I'm sorry.

'You've been there for Marissa.
You really care about her.'

'I see that now.'

And I'm hoping that this party

will be a chance for us
to start fresh.

A celebration
of a new beginning, hmm?

I don't really like boats.

Please?

Okay.

Thank you.

Hey..

Well, let's get
to the boat, huh?

Come on.

The Lit mag won't
publish my limericks.

- That's censorship.
- Aw!

It's censorship.

I'll organize
a protest immediately.

Fine. Something involving
a bra burning.

- Ew.
- Cohen.

Hey!
What are you still doing here?

- Detention.
- Ah!

You live a hard life, Summer.

'There was a Paul Franks sale.'

I figured that's
more important than

the fall of the Ming Dynasty.

I mean, what am I supposed
to learn that opium is gnarly?

[Anna]
'Right.'

Because there is
no lesson there.

Are you even making fun of me?
'Cause I can't tell.

Oh, most of the time, Summer

you do my job for me.

Again, not tracking. I..

So, Cohen, I was wondering
if you could catch me up

in history tomorrow.

Uh, I-I can't until Sunday.

I have a charity thing tomorrow.

The thing for
the Children's Hospital?

- Yeah.
- You're going to that?

- We both are.
- Mm-hmm.

- You and her?
- Me and Anna.

Which is my name, by the way.

I'm going, too.

Hey, well, alright then.
I'll see you there.

In fact, I'm going with him.

[Summer]
'Chip.'

- Hey.
- Hey.

She's going with him?

I don't care.

Hey, there's pot roast
in the, um..

- I ate.
- With Rachel?

- What was that today?
- I'm sorry. He just..

If you've a problem with Rachel,
you should come to me.

Sandy, you're never here.

Who am I gonna talk to
if I don't to my dad? Seth?

We're adults,
with demanding jobs.

You don't go running
to your daddy.

If that's too hard,
go give Jimmy a call.

So nice talking to you.

Don't ever get married.

So, how's everything
going with your, uh..

...relationship?

Which I need to talk to you
about, you know, at some point.

Good, I guess.

Good. It's just hard.

Really?

Seventeen years later..

...doesn't get any easier.

It's her mom, really.

- In-laws.
- Mmm.

Well, if you figure it out..

...let me know.

- Good luck.
- Oh, thank you.

[Caleb]
'Hey.'

[Caleb]
'I'll call you.'

- Hey.
- Hi.

I've just got to, uh
get my good pair of shoes.

I know this isn't exactly
the date you had planned

'but I really appreciate it.'

You couldn't have done better
with my mom yesterday.

'She's like...
a different person.'

Who knows? I mean, maybe
if everything goes well tonight.

Then..

I'm really happy..

...which never used to be
an accomplishment.

And not just about my parents.

We're gonna be late.

- Yo.
- What up, Homes?

- Chillin'
- Alright.

- What's that smell?
- Perfume.

Smells like wood chips.

In a rose garden.

Roses.

So, this is your crib.

This is where
all the magic happens?

If by magic, you're referring to
the card game, then sadly, yes.

- You have a hot tub?
- Mm-hmm.

Do you ever use it?

Hot tub's for the hos

I usually hang in the grotto.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi!

So, I'm just gonna run
to the girl's room.

- It's down the hall, right?
- Yeah.

- I got to go, too.
- Right.

'Cause girls can't be alone.

[chuckles]

What? It's Anna.

I could have said "pop a squat"

in front of her,
if I wanted to.

Sometimes I think you talk
just to make sounds.

Well, sometimes I do.

So, Anna looks good.

Hmm. Tonight should be fun.

There's gonna be a raffle.

The only thing more fun
than a raffle is

is anything, really.

- You guys ready?
- The girls are, uh, peeing.

- Seth, don't say pee.
- Where's Sandy?

Don't ask.

- Question.
- Hey.

- Early bird special?
- I'm gonna soldier on.

Try to get out of here
at a decent hour.

Mmm. Right, well.

Not all of us have cocktail
parties to go to on yachts.

Right. Um..

So Caleb won't sell.
No surprise there.

- On to Plan B.
- 'What's Plan B?'

I'm working on it.

Come to the floor, Sandy.

Everything makes more sense
on the floor.

We have got pad Thai
on the floor.

- We got work to do.
- Which is why we must refuel.

You got any dumplings?

I'm powerless before dumplings.

Go with gravity, man.

[instrumental music]

Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you. Nice to see you.

- Hi. You're here!
- Hey, Mom.

- How are you doing?
- Good.

Hi, Caity.

- Hi, Caitlin.
- Hi, Ryan.

Uh, Caitlin doesn't
trust new people

but Ryan is very trustworthy.

[Jimmy]
'Marissa, sweetheart.'

'Reverend Donahue
wants to say hello.'

[Marissa]
'Okay, daddy.'

Can I get a photo
of the Cooper family?

- Totally.
- Yeah, that would be great.

Come on, let's do it. Jules?

Yes, of course.
Riviera Magazine.

It's very exciting.

Ryan, why don't you join us?

No. It's for your family.

Say "Cheese."

Oops.

I didn't say "Cheese."

- 'Hey, Kiki.'
- Hey, Dad.

Where's the sandman?

Those earrings
are hypnotizing me.

I know, they're kind
of making me seasick.

There he is. Built like a pipe
cleaner, but looking sharp.

Hey. Same-same to you.
I don't know what that means.

- Who's this little firecracker?
- That's my date.

My-my-my friend...Anna.

Clearly, she needs
no introduction.

Very nice to meet you, sir.

Seth said you were scary,
but I see an inner sweetness.

I like your moxie.

Hmm, suddenly
we're in a film noir.

The ocean is like,
so vast, like endless.

I feel so..

Insignificant?

Go figure.

You know, I'm thirsty.

- Do you wanna go to the bar?
- Yeah, you can.

Yeah, thanks.

[indistinct chattering]

Excuse me.

Hi, Ryan.

- Good party.
- Thank you.

And thanks for not
telling Marissa.

She was pretty excited
about you maybe

getting back together
with her dad.

You may be okay with lying
to Marissa, but not me.

This is my life, my daughter.

My girlfriend.

Ryan..

...stay out of this.

It's none of your business.

[indistinct chattering]

[laughs]

[sighs]

Hey, how goes it with Chip?

Well, he's surprised
that the ocean is big.

Smoke another beer, Chip.

Wow, someone's in a good mood.

What is Seth Cohen
doing with Tinkerbell?

'She's from Pittsburgh.'

'That's like the
909 of the East.'

- Anna's cool.
- She's a little scammer.

First thing she does is go after
Caleb Nichol's grandson?

Have you seen the way
she looks at him?

No, but clearly, you have.

Well, only because
it's like, totally obvious.

Yes, it is,
that you're jealous.

- You like Seth Cohen.
- Oh, no, Coop!

You like him, you like him--

Stop it. Seriously, stop!

I do not like Seth Cohen.

I mean, I can't like Seth Cohen.

He's like, Seth Cohen.

Well, that's too bad,
'cause he likes you.

[indistinct chattering]

Hey!

My parents are
totally getting along.

And if my dad could
find a job soon

then maybe I could
be your neighbor again.

I could sneak over
whenever I wanted--

Parents are weird.
I wouldn't count on anything.

Right. You wouldn't.

What does that mean?

I'm just saying,
if you don't understand

how important this is--

I get it.

I get it, okay?

Too well. My mom, my dad--

Just because that
happened to you

doesn't mean
it's gonna happen to me.

My parents may
get back together.

No.

They won't.

Why can't you just
be happy for me?

Your mom is seeing
Caleb Nichol.

What?
What are you talking about?

I saw them together,
in front of your house.

I'm sorry.

[Sandy]
'I think at this point
we go to the state'

for Proposition 50 funds,
and hope they've got

a spare $200 million
in the budget.

Wait. I have the budget
here somewhere.

Oh, it's, uh..

...it's official Alex stuff.

Oh, no, you put it
with the land trust documents.

[laughs]

This feels like Twister.

You know, when I was in college

that game got me
in a lot of trouble.

I can imagine.

However, you and I, Counselor,
are in enough trouble as it is.

Yeah.

Was it me,
or did your father-in-law

basically accuse us
of having an affair?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Where'd he get that idea, right?

I mean

you know, we work together and..

...we eat all our meals
together, and..

...we talk on the phone when..

...we can't actually
be together.

I got a boat to catch.

[instrumental music]

Oh, goodness.
Look at that piece right there.

Get a Northeasterly breeze,
that toupee's going overboard.

Well, good thing,
his wife has surgically enhanced

floatation devices,
because then

she can jump in after it.

Yeah, they're also
fun to look at.

Oh, do me a favor and go tell
that kid puberty started.

I don't, I don't think
that pencil-thin mustache

is gonna make
a comeback anytime soon.

Hey, dude,
embrace a razor, alright?

Sounds like you're speaking
from experience.

Well, maybe when I was 13

uh, my nickname used to be
Magnum, PI.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Mothers can be so cruel.

Hah!

God, there are not people
like this in Pittsburgh.

- You must hate Newport.
- I did..

...at first..

...but now..

...it's growing on me.

Are you, um, thirsty at all?

Feeling a little bit parched,
and I think I'm gonna go grab

a couple Mountain Dews,
take the edge off.

- Sure.
- Okay. Be right back.

Wow. Check it out.

It's, like, totally dark,
but totally visual.

Yeah, not understanding
a word you're saying.

Finish 'shrooming,
I'm gonna go get a drink.

Uh, excuse me,
I hate to interrupt.

Uh, just a moment of your time.

I'm Julie Cooper,
the coordinator of this event.

'Thank you all
so very much for coming.'

Through your generous
contributions

'we've raised almost $200,000'

'for the Children's Hospital.'

[applauds]

And don't forget,
it's tax-deductible.

- Hey.
- Can we talk?

Yeah, uh, okay.

[Julie]
'I have to say that we could not
have done any of this without..'

Let's get out of here.

So I should just leave,
and let her get away with this?

Let's give him a big hand.

Is that what you would do?

Hi.

Oh, God. No.

Uh-uh-uh
wh-what's happening here?

I like Seth Cohen.

You, uh, you what, now?

Nothing.
I wasn't talking to you.

But if you tell anyone
what you heard here

I'll kill you.

There's my
beautiful daughter, Marissa.

'Please join us, honey.'

[applauds]

Come join us, honey.

[applauds]

Thank you, now I'd like to ask
my daughter Caitlin

'to pick the winner
of the romantic getaway raffle.'

Marissa, would you like
to announce the lucky couple?

Thanks.

And how about another round
of applause for my mom?

[applauds]

And for Caleb Nichol.

After all their work on behalf
of the Children's Hospital

if anybody deserves
a romantic getaway for two

it's my mom and Caleb Nichol.

I mean, aren't they just
the perfect couple?

They've been keeping
their romance a secret

'but tonight..'

...the secret's out.

Congratulations, you guys.

[indistinct chattering]

Honey, take this.

Don't start with me.

Look, after tonight,
I'm done with you.

You're-you're
Caleb's problem now.

Jimmy, don't..

One more, please.

Excuse me.

And the winner
of tonight's raffle is..

...Sandy and Kirsten Cohen.

[applauds]

What the hell was that?

You lied to me.

You said you wanted us
to be a family again.

I do.

And I was going to tell you,
but this is all so new

and I know you've been
through so much.

Marissa, honey,
th-this whole party

this whole night
was to show you that

our life could be like it was.

You could move back home.

We could be a family again.

And what about Dad?

Honey..

...I will always

love your father.

But because of what he's done,
we have no future together.

Neither do we.

[Seth]
Wait, okay.

What?

Julie Cooper
and my grandfather?

Well, then, do you know
that if that worked out

that-that'd mean Marissa
would be, like..

...she would be my aunt.

I can't believe you missed
all the excitement.

Where have you been?

I find raffles
t-to be extremely upsetting.

There's just too much suspense,
so I don't go.

Um, have you seen
Pirates of the Caribbean?

[Anna]
'No.'

I trusted you.

I-I told you things
about my life

and my marriage,
and you used them against me.

And you tell me
nothing about you.

[sighs]

Well, if this is the way
you're gonna react..

...do you blame me?

No.

In fact, outside
the office from now on

we have nothing
to say to each other.

Oh, and good luck
with your new girlfriend.

You're gonna need it.

- I'm here.
- We're leaving.

Uh, but I wore a jacket.

I think this party's over.

Do you want me to take you
back to your dad's?

I think I'm ready
for our first date.

I think..

...we're way past that now.

So, in theory

Julie Cooper could eventually
become your stepmother.

Don't even say it.

I-I'm late to one event,
I miss everything.

Well, not everything.

We won the raffle.

A romantic getaway for two.

If you can
get away from the office?

Oh, yeah.
No, it'll be good for us.

You know,
spend a little time alone.

Hmm, glad to hear it.

So what are you doing now?

You.

Glad to hear it.

[Leaves singing "Breathe"]

♪ Suck it out ♪

♪ Timeless waitin' I ♪

♪ Am the eye ♪

♪ Wandering all alone ♪

♪ To the sun to keep me up
with her ♪

♪ There's her house.. ♪

This is a pretty good date.

Yeah, I just wish
it didn't have to end.

It doesn't.

Spend the night.

We don't have to do anything.

We could...we could sleep.

Really? Sandy and Kirsten
are cool with that?

Now, we haven't had
the talk yet, so..

Do you snore?

No.

Well, I don't think so.

I've never actually
slept with someone before.

Yeah, me, neither.

Usually climbing out the window

back into the front seat.

Okay, enough sharing.

Yeah. Goodnight.

♪ Am the eye ♪

♪ Wandering all alone ♪

I thought you said
you wanted to sleep.

Suddenly not so tired.

♪ There's her house ♪

Best..

...date..

...ever.

♪ ...me in still you try ♪

♪ So bring me down ♪♪

[theme music]