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1
00:00:12,652 --> 00:00:15,568
(Soft funky music)
2
00:01:09,985 --> 00:01:12,485
(Funky music)
3
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,193
Richard.
4
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,779
It's a bit loud isn't it?
5
00:01:52,804 --> 00:01:53,808
What?
6
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:55,152
Loud!
7
00:01:55,152 --> 00:01:56,693
Bit too loud!
8
00:01:56,693 --> 00:01:59,360
I'm sorry I can't hear you.
9
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,110
The record player.
10
00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,130
Loud!
11
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:03,693
Right.
12
00:02:03,693 --> 00:02:06,193
(Funky music)
13
00:02:21,152 --> 00:02:22,658
Three o'clock!
14
00:02:27,735 --> 00:02:29,818
Where's my other slipper?
15
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:33,832
Really.
16
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,527
Oh.
17
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,110
Well really.
18
00:03:07,693 --> 00:03:09,193
Who's got my drink?
19
00:03:09,193 --> 00:03:10,739
H G Wells.
20
00:03:11,277 --> 00:03:12,902
H G Well!
21
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,902
Not that H G Wells.
22
00:03:14,902 --> 00:03:16,652
That H G Wells.
23
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:31,485
(Soft funky music)
24
00:04:34,152 --> 00:04:36,398
Don't touch that it's daddys.
25
00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:39,735
I beg your pardon.
26
00:04:39,735 --> 00:04:40,693
Excuse me.
27
00:04:40,693 --> 00:04:42,360
Oh I'm sorry.
28
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,235
Carry on.
29
00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:44,735
Karen stop carrying on!
30
00:04:44,735 --> 00:04:46,152
Make up your mind daddy.
31
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,818
This noise has gone on long enough.
32
00:04:47,860 --> 00:04:49,235
I'm going to put my foot down.
33
00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:51,402
(Yelling)
34
00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:53,527
Hello daddy.
35
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,902
Glad to see you're getting with it.
36
00:04:54,902 --> 00:04:57,902
I have put my foot in a
plate of hot spaghetti.
37
00:04:57,902 --> 00:04:58,735
It's alright sir
38
00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,135
it's only my spaghetti.
39
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,156
Daddy this is Dumbo.
40
00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:03,068
He's a laughing chamber pot.
41
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:04,068
A what?
42
00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:05,483
With the group like Manta Barley.
43
00:05:05,508 --> 00:05:07,902
Look do you realise it's 3 o'clock in the morning?
44
00:05:07,902 --> 00:05:11,068
What are the neighbours going to think
with all this boogy woogy blaring out?
45
00:05:11,068 --> 00:05:12,235
Boogy what?
46
00:05:12,235 --> 00:05:13,402
Woogy music.
47
00:05:13,402 --> 00:05:15,402
I mean don't misunderstand me.
48
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:20,088
I like to see you having, Karen will
you stop talking when I'm snogging to you.
49
00:05:20,113 --> 00:05:22,178
I mean nobody can say that I'm a square.
50
00:05:22,203 --> 00:05:24,126
- No.
- No!
51
00:05:24,151 --> 00:05:25,972
I've cut a rug with the best of them in my time.
52
00:05:25,997 --> 00:05:26,944
(Doorbell ringing)
53
00:05:26,969 --> 00:05:29,263
There you are you see.
54
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,027
Oh blimey it's the fuzz.
55
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:32,818
Good evening Miss.
56
00:05:32,818 --> 00:05:36,527
We just had a complaint phoned
in about the noise of your party.
57
00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:38,152
Now do you think you can keep it down a bit?
58
00:05:38,152 --> 00:05:39,153
Yes alright.
59
00:05:39,178 --> 00:05:41,068
It'll be breaking up soon anyway.
60
00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:42,152
Thank you Miss.
61
00:05:42,152 --> 00:05:43,277
Somebody phoned in to complain?
62
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:44,611
What a mean trick.
63
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,652
Who was it?
64
00:05:45,652 --> 00:05:48,027
I'm sorry Miss I can't reveal that.
65
00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:52,318
Alright Mr Glover, anymore
trouble just phone in again.
66
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:53,568
Traitor.
67
00:05:53,568 --> 00:05:54,610
Officer.
68
00:05:54,716 --> 00:05:55,926
Officer.
69
00:05:57,893 --> 00:05:59,402
That was a bit tactless wasn't it?
70
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,652
Why didn't you put a stop to it yourself sir?
71
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,027
Well I, I didn't want to be unpopular you see.
72
00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:06,735
Whereas you chaps you're unpopular already.
73
00:06:06,735 --> 00:06:08,777
Oh not with me of course.
74
00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:10,205
I think you policemen are wonderful.
75
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,402
I think it was sweet as well sir.
76
00:06:11,402 --> 00:06:13,193
And why don't you go back to bed.
77
00:06:13,193 --> 00:06:14,193
Yes.
78
00:06:14,193 --> 00:06:15,402
Yes perhaps you're right.
79
00:06:15,402 --> 00:06:16,402
Goodnight.
80
00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:18,985
There's still some food left if you want some.
81
00:06:18,985 --> 00:06:20,693
(Party music continues)
82
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:21,939
Oh!
83
00:06:23,152 --> 00:06:25,318
Now look what you've done!
84
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,985
(Banging)
85
00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,360
(Doorbell ringing)
86
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,568
Anna.
87
00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:37,610
Karen!
88
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,443
(Funky music)
89
00:06:39,443 --> 00:06:40,735
Somebody?
90
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,235
(Funky music)
91
00:06:44,929 --> 00:06:46,025
Oh.
92
00:07:52,409 --> 00:07:54,702
Oh, Oh. Ooh.
93
00:07:55,318 --> 00:07:57,485
(Yelling)
94
00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:01,235
Anna?
95
00:08:01,235 --> 00:08:02,263
Karen?
96
00:08:04,295 --> 00:08:06,528
Me!
97
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:11,725
Somebody help
98
00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:14,568
Mayday
99
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,277
Mayday
100
00:08:16,277 --> 00:08:18,308
(Funky music)
101
00:08:23,077 --> 00:08:24,930
Aw! Awe!
102
00:08:26,653 --> 00:08:28,161
Well really.
103
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,561
(Funky music)
104
00:08:40,235 --> 00:08:44,568
Milkman would you leave 2 extra gold
top and a pint of cream please?
105
00:08:44,568 --> 00:08:47,102
- Okay nanny.
- Thank you.
106
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,110
Oh good morning Mr Patrick.
107
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,818
Been for a nice early morning drive?
108
00:08:51,818 --> 00:08:53,068
That's right nanny.
109
00:08:53,068 --> 00:08:53,902
That's right.
110
00:08:53,902 --> 00:08:56,443
Well you really ought to wrap
up more in this weather.
111
00:08:56,443 --> 00:08:58,578
You'll get a nasty chill.
112
00:09:06,027 --> 00:09:09,533
Morning Mr Glover been
out for an early morning drive?
113
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:13,527
(Soft funky music)
114
00:09:30,985 --> 00:09:33,902
You should have taken
more water with you H G.
115
00:09:33,902 --> 00:09:36,818
(Soft funky music)
116
00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:41,954
Oh crisps!
117
00:10:00,652 --> 00:10:05,443
Oh my god, what a mess
these kids have made.
118
00:10:05,443 --> 00:10:07,818
Just look at this room nanny.
119
00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:10,235
I mean why is it that the
kids can't have a party
120
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:14,003
without making such an app...
Nanny you look quite strange.
121
00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:14,971
Oh.
122
00:10:14,996 --> 00:10:17,443
I think I'll have breakfast
before you tidy up nanny.
123
00:10:17,443 --> 00:10:20,527
And let... What's this?
124
00:10:20,527 --> 00:10:22,485
What sort of a party was it last night nanny?
125
00:10:22,485 --> 00:10:24,568
I don't know Mr Patrick.
126
00:10:24,568 --> 00:10:25,652
38C.
127
00:10:25,652 --> 00:10:27,277
Are either of the girls a 38C nanny?
128
00:10:27,277 --> 00:10:28,110
No.
129
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:29,402
Is it yours?
130
00:10:29,402 --> 00:10:30,235
No.
131
00:10:30,235 --> 00:10:31,485
It must belong to one of their friends.
132
00:10:31,485 --> 00:10:32,693
What?
133
00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:34,027
You're quite right.
134
00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:35,777
Dorothy Perkins.
135
00:10:35,777 --> 00:10:37,318
Now look here.
136
00:10:37,318 --> 00:10:38,277
This is not good enough.
137
00:10:38,277 --> 00:10:39,735
It's a 38C.
138
00:10:39,735 --> 00:10:41,235
What more do you want?
139
00:10:41,235 --> 00:10:43,735
Chris bought it for a giggle,
along with a monkey mask.
140
00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:45,318
Bit childish isn't it?
141
00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:47,027
Prancing around in a monkey mask.
142
00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:48,485
Celia wanted to burn it.
143
00:10:48,485 --> 00:10:50,818
She suddenly decided to join the Women's Lib.
144
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,568
Good job she didn't burn her own.
145
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,568
It would have been the great
fire of London all over again.
146
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:58,985
- Was everything right for you after the police left?
- Oh yes fine, fine.
147
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:02,360
Have you any idea what it is like lying
down in the backseat of a motor car?
148
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,027
- Well.
- Don't answer that.
149
00:11:04,027 --> 00:11:07,693
Now look here I said you could have this party
provided you your guests had left 12 o'clock.
150
00:11:07,693 --> 00:11:08,456
But they have.
151
00:11:08,481 --> 00:11:09,982
It's only 10 o'clock now.
152
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:11,793
12 at night.
153
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:13,603
The trouble is I'm far too soft with you two.
154
00:11:13,628 --> 00:11:16,036
- Far too soft nanny.
- I'll give it another minute.
155
00:11:16,061 --> 00:11:18,360
After all I am your father
and I am responsible for you.
156
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,068
You worry too much.
157
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:23,443
You think we'll get pregnant
if we sit on a warm bus seat.
158
00:11:23,443 --> 00:11:25,818
And as for you young lady,
you're growing up far too fast.
159
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:28,277
When I was your age I was two years younger.
160
00:11:28,277 --> 00:11:29,443
Who broke that?
161
00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:31,443
Richard he jogged it with his elbow.
162
00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:32,985
But it was on top of a bookcase.
163
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,265
So was Richard.
164
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:35,277
Good grief.
165
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:39,818
That young man is the clumsiest boy.
You glued my newspaper to the table
166
00:11:39,843 --> 00:11:42,148
and it's crossword bit too.
167
00:11:42,173 --> 00:11:44,006
Oh really.
168
00:11:44,485 --> 00:11:46,193
Trouble is I'm not hard enough.
169
00:11:46,193 --> 00:11:48,360
- Not hard enough.
- If you say so.
170
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,455
- I do.
- Oh.
171
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,777
Anyway there are gonna be a
few changes around this house.
172
00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:54,943
I am going to draw up a list of rules.
173
00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:56,693
- Again?
- Again.
174
00:11:56,693 --> 00:11:59,818
Rule 1 there will be no more going to pyjama parties.
175
00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:00,853
Oh!
176
00:12:00,878 --> 00:12:02,443
In my pyjamas.
177
00:12:02,443 --> 00:12:06,735
Rule 2 you will not go padding about
the upstairs landing with nothing on.
178
00:12:06,735 --> 00:12:07,568
Why not?
179
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:08,402
It's all good stuff.
180
00:12:08,402 --> 00:12:10,693
Very possibly but the milkman has
crashed his cart twice this month.
181
00:12:10,693 --> 00:12:11,943
Thank you nanny.
182
00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:13,068
Rule 3.
183
00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:15,110
You will keep me informed at all times
184
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:19,606
where you are going, when you
will be with and who you will be back.
185
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:22,453
- Nanny this egg is hard boiled.
- Oh dear.
186
00:12:22,478 --> 00:12:24,902
Oh well never mind I'll have Corn Flakes.
187
00:12:24,902 --> 00:12:25,735
(Doorbell ringing)
188
00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:27,818
Oh who can that be at
this hour of the morning?
189
00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:28,958
Rule 4.
190
00:12:28,991 --> 00:12:32,027
All prisoners attempting to escape will be shot.
191
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:32,985
Exactly.
192
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,360
Rule 5.
193
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,943
Oh for goodness sake
194
00:12:35,943 --> 00:12:37,402
what on earth next?
195
00:12:37,402 --> 00:12:38,485
Anna wants to leave home.
196
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,620
- What again?
- Again.
197
00:12:40,645 --> 00:12:42,402
It's Mr Phillip.
198
00:12:42,402 --> 00:12:43,860
Morning girls.
199
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:46,068
- Hello Uncle Phillip.
- Another flying visit?
200
00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:47,501
No, no I came by car.
201
00:12:47,526 --> 00:12:49,943
- Morning Patrick.
- Hello my darling.
202
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:51,274
I'm on my way to New Market.
203
00:12:51,299 --> 00:12:52,239
Coffee?
204
00:12:52,265 --> 00:12:53,360
Er thank you nanny.
205
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,027
And how much do you want this time?
206
00:12:55,027 --> 00:12:56,985
That he has no way to speak
to your brother Patrick.
207
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:01,193
I popped in there on my way to New Market
just to have a little quiet chat to my nieces.
208
00:13:01,193 --> 00:13:03,235
You hurt me dreadfully making remarks like that.
209
00:13:03,235 --> 00:13:04,277
How much?
210
00:13:04,277 --> 00:13:05,193
10 quid.
211
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:07,443
It's an absolute certainty for the 2:30.
212
00:13:07,443 --> 00:13:10,443
I heard it straight from the
stable boys cousins postmen.
213
00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,277
How can it lose?
214
00:13:12,277 --> 00:13:15,015
- Now what's all this about you leaving home?
- I left home years ago.
215
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,110
- Not you Anna.
- Well I am 18.
216
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:19,818
I want a little flat of my own.
217
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:23,777
Spread my wings and be buffeted
by the winds of experience.
218
00:13:23,777 --> 00:13:26,110
I want to drink deep from the cup of life,
219
00:13:26,135 --> 00:13:30,027
to grasp it with both hands
and fulfil myself as a woman.
220
00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:32,818
Mmm sounds reasonable enough.
221
00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,527
Do you want that loan or don't you?
222
00:13:34,527 --> 00:13:35,735
Do as your father says.
223
00:13:35,735 --> 00:13:38,936
Have you any idea how much
it costs to rent a flat these days?
224
00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:41,568
I'm prepared to pay quite a lot for the right place.
225
00:13:41,568 --> 00:13:45,110
2 or even 3 pounds a week if it's self contained.
226
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,527
Why not go to 4 and rent Windsor Castle?
227
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,193
Well if she's got 4 she can lend me 3.
228
00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:52,188
- You're not taking me seriously.
- No I'm not.
229
00:13:52,213 --> 00:13:53,892
Maybe...
230
00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:58,985
Bobby Moore!
231
00:13:59,027 --> 00:14:01,993
What happened to his other leg Mr Patrick?
232
00:14:04,858 --> 00:14:06,571
Thank God it wasn't Lester Picket.
233
00:14:06,999 --> 00:14:08,184
(Typing)
234
00:14:14,383 --> 00:14:16,294
Niarcus knawled a curse.
235
00:14:16,318 --> 00:14:20,402
His hand flashed in his pocket and
he drew out a pearl handled bun.
236
00:14:21,273 --> 00:14:22,283
Gun.
237
00:14:22,308 --> 00:14:24,683
Stop writing that dribble Patrick and listen to me.
238
00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,627
This is an investment.
239
00:14:26,652 --> 00:14:28,777
And what do you suppose this dribble is?
240
00:14:28,777 --> 00:14:33,235
Hand over the diamonds he said,
or I shall be forced to hoot.
241
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:34,527
Shoot.
242
00:14:34,527 --> 00:14:37,360
If this wins I can pay you back
the fiver I borrowed last week.
243
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,361
- No Phillip.
- I'll tell you what I'll do.
244
00:14:39,386 --> 00:14:42,099
I'll leave you my watch your security. It's solid gold.
245
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:44,692
- Phillip it's not.
- It is on the pawn ticket.
246
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,059
No Phillip.
247
00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:51,623
Very well you leave me no alternative.
248
00:14:53,061 --> 00:14:55,035
Urn Bay is 00273, isn't it?
249
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,081
Yes.
250
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,818
- Who you phoning?
- Mother.
251
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:01,806
What for?
252
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:04,293
To tell her that you are constipated.
253
00:15:04,318 --> 00:15:05,777
Oh Phillip you wouldn't do that.
254
00:15:05,777 --> 00:15:07,568
You would know very well she'd down here like
255
00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:09,402
a shot with a bottle of that homemade jollop.
256
00:15:09,402 --> 00:15:12,728
The choice is yours £10 or jollop.
257
00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:15,467
Oh alright take it out of that.
258
00:15:15,492 --> 00:15:17,681
Thank you. Hello.
259
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,212
Patrick it's for you.
260
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:20,904
- Who?
- Mother.
261
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:22,630
Oh Phillip really.
262
00:15:24,152 --> 00:15:25,485
Hello mother darling.
263
00:15:25,485 --> 00:15:27,669
- Hello is that you Patrick?
- Yes.
264
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:31,635
Yes, yes I, I just phoned to say to say.
265
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:32,877
Hello mother
266
00:15:32,902 --> 00:15:34,110
(Laughing)
267
00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:35,152
That was Phillip.
268
00:15:35,152 --> 00:15:38,685
Oh very good dear it sounded just like him.
269
00:15:38,902 --> 00:15:41,775
- Are you eating all your crusts?
- Crusts?
270
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,902
Oh, oh yes mother, yes I am.
271
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:47,693
Good that's the way to make
your hair nice and curly.
272
00:15:47,693 --> 00:15:49,652
This calls for a large scotch.
273
00:15:49,652 --> 00:15:53,068
- I haven't got any.
- You haven't got any?
274
00:15:53,068 --> 00:15:55,388
You mean you've gone completely bald?
275
00:15:55,541 --> 00:15:58,902
Don't worry dear you can always wear a teepee.
276
00:15:58,902 --> 00:16:01,943
Don't you mean a toupee mother? A teepee is a wigwam.
277
00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:04,568
That's the word wigwam.
278
00:16:04,749 --> 00:16:07,030
You can get them on the national health.
279
00:16:07,055 --> 00:16:09,902
Now what were you ringing
me up about dear?
280
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,235
Well, I, I just phoned up to.
281
00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:15,735
Oh yes mother I phoned up to tell
you I thought you ought to know.
282
00:16:15,735 --> 00:16:18,818
- Phillip is constipated.
- Swine!
283
00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:21,255
No wine's no good.
284
00:16:21,485 --> 00:16:24,035
I'll see he gets the right thing.
285
00:16:26,781 --> 00:16:27,985
Jollop.
286
00:16:27,985 --> 00:16:29,235
I'll see you out Phillip.
287
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:33,110
And I hope I lose every penny of your money.
288
00:16:33,177 --> 00:16:34,936
Goodbye Phillip.
289
00:16:36,193 --> 00:16:38,949
- Oh you going out?
- Off to look at flats.
290
00:16:38,974 --> 00:16:42,093
Well you do know your way
to Park Lane don't you.
291
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,652
- You coming?
- No thanks.
292
00:16:44,652 --> 00:16:46,693
I want a word with Attila the Hun.
293
00:16:46,693 --> 00:16:48,579
- Daddy?
- Uh huh.
294
00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:52,277
Gosh your new book is coming along well.
295
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:57,985
You write so fast, which is amazing
considering the high standard you keep up.
296
00:16:57,985 --> 00:17:01,027
- Whatever it is I can't afford it.
- Oh it's not about money.
297
00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:04,943
- Oh well it's nothing to do with me then is it?
- It's about Richard and me.
298
00:17:04,943 --> 00:17:10,218
Er well you see last night
he finally, he actually.
299
00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:12,331
He finally did it!
300
00:17:12,902 --> 00:17:14,381
- What?
- He wants to marry me.
301
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:17,693
- I should hope so.
- Oh no that's all he did.
302
00:17:17,693 --> 00:17:21,026
- He proposed to me.
- Oh I see.
303
00:17:21,153 --> 00:17:23,360
Oh well that's alright then. No it isn't
304
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,401
you're far too young to get married.
305
00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:29,712
- I'm 17 and 3/8.
- You are still too young.
306
00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:31,652
You've never liked Richard have you?
307
00:17:31,652 --> 00:17:36,531
Not since the barbecue when he bit into his
hot dog and the sausage shot into your ear.
308
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,752
- It isn't just that darling.
- He said he was sorry but you wouldn't listen.
309
00:17:39,777 --> 00:17:42,817
Well I couldn't could I darling?
Not with a sausage in my ear.
310
00:17:43,017 --> 00:17:44,193
(Chuckling)
311
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:46,313
Now listen darling
312
00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:51,777
every young girl of your age wants to get married,
313
00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:57,755
settle down and build a little
home, have a nice large family.
314
00:17:58,527 --> 00:18:00,818
There's no harm in thinking that way,
315
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:06,818
but in a year or two's time you will realise
how wise I was to have made you wait.
316
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,260
- You don't take me seriously either.
- That's right darling.
317
00:18:10,352 --> 00:18:11,872
(Telephone rings)
318
00:18:13,925 --> 00:18:14,865
Hello?
319
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:18,360
- How's Mr Nicrcus?
- No one of that name lives here.
320
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,943
- The book Patrick.
- Oh is that you Georgie?
321
00:18:21,943 --> 00:18:24,443
Oh the book, oh it's fine. Fine, yes.
322
00:18:24,443 --> 00:18:28,152
I've just completed a page where
the villain hoots the hero with a bun.
323
00:18:28,152 --> 00:18:31,443
- What?
- Well I can't concentrate lately Georgie.
324
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,152
Well you'll have to concentrate.
The publishers are onto me.
325
00:18:34,152 --> 00:18:36,985
- Well if it's not one thing, it's the other.
- The other?
326
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,985
Well the girls mainly.
327
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,027
I mean one of them is on about leaving home
and the other one wants to get married.
328
00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:43,408
I don't know.
329
00:18:43,768 --> 00:18:47,443
Georgie if you were a father what you do?
330
00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:50,068
Sell my story to the Sunday papers I expect.
331
00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:53,235
Will you be serious? I'm very worried about them.
332
00:18:53,235 --> 00:18:55,610
You see they're at that awkward age.
333
00:18:55,610 --> 00:18:57,277
You've been saying that since they were 4.
334
00:18:57,277 --> 00:19:00,443
Yes but since the divorce, it's been getting worse.
335
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:03,318
I know I think I need some advice or something.
336
00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:07,348
Patrick dear I'm a literary agent not a psychologist.
337
00:19:07,373 --> 00:19:10,360
I don't understand teenage girls and I was one.
338
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:13,027
- Were you?
- Thank you very much.
339
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:16,152
Why don't you chat up your local vicar?
340
00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:19,193
Vicar? Now what would a vicar
know about a thing like this?
341
00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:21,985
Oh they're meant to be very good
at sorting out people's problems.
342
00:19:21,985 --> 00:19:25,235
Georgie you're not being
at all helpful this morning.
343
00:19:25,235 --> 00:19:28,277
It's quite obvious to me that
you are not in a very good mood.
344
00:19:28,277 --> 00:19:29,563
Goodbye!
345
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,953
Vicar, huh.
346
00:19:37,402 --> 00:19:38,773
Vicar?
347
00:19:38,985 --> 00:19:40,139
(Soft music)
348
00:20:15,902 --> 00:20:18,535
I'm terribly sorry I'm not interrupting am I?
349
00:20:19,193 --> 00:20:22,171
I mean you weren't having a quick
prayer on anything were you?
350
00:20:22,196 --> 00:20:25,816
No just a touching up a cherub.
351
00:20:26,152 --> 00:20:27,777
I beg your pardon?
352
00:20:27,777 --> 00:20:31,318
- I touch them all up occasionally.
- Oh I see.
353
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,818
It's the weather you know.
354
00:20:32,818 --> 00:20:35,860
Glover, Patrick Glover.
355
00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:38,694
I er I am.
356
00:20:39,777 --> 00:20:45,652
I am a member of your flock but I haven't
been to church now for several weeks.
357
00:20:45,848 --> 00:20:46,863
Yah.
358
00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:50,293
But I do remember you as a choirboy.
359
00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:52,193
As long ago as that was it?
360
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:54,527
I wondered if I might have a word with you?
361
00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,277
(Vicar mumbles)
362
00:20:56,277 --> 00:20:58,113
Mind you if it's not convenient.
363
00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:04,843
- If it's a bad time.
- About quarter past 12.
364
00:21:05,485 --> 00:21:06,318
- Thank you.
365
00:21:06,318 --> 00:21:09,318
You see I have a bit of a
problem about my daughters.
366
00:21:09,318 --> 00:21:14,511
People don't take care of their deceased
you know. Take Mr Pendergast
367
00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:17,777
- Weed all over the grave.
- Did he really?
368
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,818
- Now about my daughters.
- Yes.
369
00:21:20,818 --> 00:21:24,235
Birds don't seem to have
any respect nowadays.
370
00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:27,652
Well that's part of my
problem really. Oh I see.
371
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:36,110
I'm afraid this is all rather
on the spur of the moment.
372
00:21:36,110 --> 00:21:40,152
I mean normally I wouldn't
come within a 1000 miles.
373
00:21:40,152 --> 00:21:44,883
What I mean is I, I have
a bit of a problem vicar.
374
00:21:44,908 --> 00:21:48,485
- Er priest.
- I'm a father.
375
00:21:48,485 --> 00:21:50,777
Yes so am I and that's my problem.
376
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:55,152
You see my daughters well, well they
haven't had a mother for several years.
377
00:21:55,152 --> 00:21:58,610
I see your wife has gone to a better place.
378
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:02,483
Possibly it all depends on
what you feel about Chelsea.
379
00:22:03,402 --> 00:22:06,568
- Chelsea?
- Yes she's living there with her husband.
380
00:22:06,568 --> 00:22:10,902
Her other husband. Her new
husband you see we're divorced.
381
00:22:10,902 --> 00:22:14,688
Oh make yourself comfortable.
382
00:22:14,806 --> 00:22:17,715
- Pull up a chair.
- Thank you.
383
00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:25,693
It was all very amicable.
384
00:22:25,693 --> 00:22:28,693
Quite one of the friendliest
divorces you've ever known.
385
00:22:28,693 --> 00:22:33,201
I'm afraid I have not conversed
with these matters Mr?
386
00:22:33,456 --> 00:22:34,664
Glover, Patrick
387
00:22:34,689 --> 00:22:37,656
Sit down Mr Glover.
388
00:22:37,681 --> 00:22:43,443
You see none of my dear little
flock has strayed from their marital vows.
389
00:22:43,443 --> 00:22:45,152
Quite, yes.
390
00:22:45,152 --> 00:22:48,593
Well we thought it would be
best if the girls lived with me.
391
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:51,152
Till death do them, etc.
392
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:53,818
Until they finished that education actually.
393
00:22:53,818 --> 00:22:56,693
But you see I've had to be
sort of mummy and daddy
394
00:22:56,693 --> 00:23:01,485
to them both and well my, my
time as a writer is being taken up.
395
00:23:01,485 --> 00:23:03,568
A writer you say?
396
00:23:03,568 --> 00:23:06,443
Yes you see and the girls have
been growing away from me.
397
00:23:06,443 --> 00:23:10,613
You're not the Patrick Glover by any chance?
398
00:23:10,860 --> 00:23:13,818
- As a matter of fact I am.
- How interesting.
399
00:23:13,818 --> 00:23:15,110
I've read all your books.
400
00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:17,902
- I'm in the middle of one right now.
- Are you really?
401
00:23:17,902 --> 00:23:20,114
Please, please.
402
00:23:20,485 --> 00:23:25,118
I er I'm a writer myself you know.
403
00:23:25,277 --> 00:23:27,372
- Really?
- Not in your field of course
404
00:23:27,397 --> 00:23:31,693
but I have a little contribution
here to hither and yawn.
405
00:23:31,693 --> 00:23:33,777
I would value your opinion on it.
406
00:23:33,777 --> 00:23:36,193
You see, like the side.
407
00:23:36,193 --> 00:23:38,836
Like the sides of missionary work.
408
00:23:38,902 --> 00:23:42,055
I do trust I've not adopted to...
409
00:23:44,277 --> 00:23:45,902
Not gone too far?
410
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:47,562
(Chuckling)
411
00:23:48,943 --> 00:23:51,683
- Not too dowel?
- Oh no, no, no.
412
00:23:51,902 --> 00:23:54,548
- No it's not funny at all.
- Yeah.
413
00:23:54,573 --> 00:23:58,271
- Now about my daughters.
- Daughters?
414
00:23:58,610 --> 00:24:00,777
Oh yeah of course, yes.
415
00:24:00,777 --> 00:24:03,943
- How old are they?
- Well Karen is er
416
00:24:05,943 --> 00:24:08,360
and Anna's a little older, 18-ish.
417
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,180
They do need a mother's guidance.
418
00:24:11,318 --> 00:24:15,130
In the great disco tech of life they need
419
00:24:15,155 --> 00:24:19,161
the gilded elder of maternal influence.
420
00:24:19,443 --> 00:24:22,049
And of course the top 10.
421
00:24:22,443 --> 00:24:26,206
- The what?
- Though shall not.
422
00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:28,213
Ooh that top 10.
423
00:24:28,512 --> 00:24:29,752
(Chuckling)
424
00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:33,068
Yeah I think I see what you're getting at.
425
00:24:33,093 --> 00:24:34,541
- You do?
- Yes.
426
00:24:34,566 --> 00:24:38,777
- You think I should get married.
- I'd be the last suggest that.
427
00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:41,258
You might think I was drumming up business.
428
00:24:41,283 --> 00:24:42,443
(Chuckling)
429
00:24:42,443 --> 00:24:44,235
Heaven forbid.
430
00:24:44,235 --> 00:24:48,152
It does as a matter of fact if you're high.
431
00:24:48,152 --> 00:24:50,485
- High?
- High church you know.
432
00:24:50,485 --> 00:24:52,025
Oh I see.
433
00:24:53,027 --> 00:24:57,735
So I can only commend unto you the
advice that Zaynab gave to the Malakites.
434
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,593
- Yes?
- Yes.
435
00:24:59,693 --> 00:25:02,123
and one more thing.
436
00:25:02,485 --> 00:25:04,891
- Yes?
- Before you go,
437
00:25:05,145 --> 00:25:06,365
Can you
438
00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:09,585
- autograph?
- Oh yeah.
439
00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:11,908
- May I?
- Please.
440
00:25:11,933 --> 00:25:13,527
- Oh sorry.
- Please!
441
00:25:13,527 --> 00:25:16,513
Oh I can I wasn't quite sure with the...
442
00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:22,318
- The high school script.
- Thank you.
443
00:25:22,318 --> 00:25:25,541
Well I must say you been very helpful.
444
00:25:25,652 --> 00:25:28,736
- Have I?
- Yes I can't think why I didn't think of it myself.
445
00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:32,178
- Of course marry again.
- Again?
446
00:25:32,203 --> 00:25:36,198
And you know I think I have
just the woman in mind.
447
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,689
I wonder may I borrow your telephone?
448
00:25:38,714 --> 00:25:40,107
Mrs Stoppard.
449
00:25:41,652 --> 00:25:43,152
Gladys!
450
00:25:43,152 --> 00:25:46,610
- Would you like a cup of coffee?
- Ooh yes that would be lovely.
451
00:25:46,610 --> 00:25:48,970
It's very civil of you.
452
00:25:49,361 --> 00:25:51,020
There we are.
453
00:25:52,402 --> 00:25:54,027
Keep the place nice.
454
00:25:54,027 --> 00:25:55,735
(Coughing)
455
00:25:55,735 --> 00:25:57,277
I'll have 4 lumps of sugar please
456
00:25:57,277 --> 00:25:59,235
and I'll have some of them sweeteners.
457
00:25:59,235 --> 00:26:01,568
- They're on my diet.
- Well you help yourself.
458
00:26:01,568 --> 00:26:03,874
- I must catch the post.
- Right ho.
459
00:26:03,899 --> 00:26:07,485
Ooh I say Custard creams.
460
00:26:07,485 --> 00:26:10,990
I love them. I only allow myself one a day.
461
00:26:11,015 --> 00:26:14,433
This'll take me up 2 weeks next Thursday.
462
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:16,853
(Telephone buzzes)
463
00:26:20,568 --> 00:26:23,061
- Hello.
- It's me Patrick.
464
00:26:23,277 --> 00:26:26,152
- Who?
- Patrick, Patrick Glover.
465
00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:28,152
How many Patricks do you know?
466
00:26:29,409 --> 00:26:31,238
Oh Mr Patrick Glover.
467
00:26:31,818 --> 00:26:35,068
Well this is Mrs Stoppard, cleansing operative.
468
00:26:35,068 --> 00:26:39,416
The last time you come here,
you tripped over my bucket.
469
00:26:40,443 --> 00:26:42,331
I'm sorry about that.
470
00:26:42,610 --> 00:26:44,791
Look I'll come straight to the point.
471
00:26:45,527 --> 00:26:49,402
Well you, you know how
I've always felt about you.
472
00:26:49,402 --> 00:26:51,133
Well I was wondering
473
00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:53,679
will you marry me darling?
474
00:26:53,902 --> 00:26:56,193
I realise that this is all a bit sudden.
475
00:26:56,193 --> 00:26:58,318
You'll obviously want time to think it over.
476
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,818
So I tell you what I'll be around
in 20 minutes for your answer.
477
00:27:01,818 --> 00:27:04,291
See you then. Bye.
478
00:27:09,646 --> 00:27:12,953
Oh impetuous man.
479
00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:16,826
Thought he'd never even noticed me.
480
00:27:18,318 --> 00:27:21,018
Gladys are you alright?
481
00:27:21,408 --> 00:27:23,960
That's why he tripped over my bucket.
482
00:27:23,985 --> 00:27:25,777
He must've been bedazzled.
483
00:27:25,777 --> 00:27:28,068
- Who?
- Mr Glover.
484
00:27:28,068 --> 00:27:30,540
He's coming round in a minute.
485
00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:33,443
I must go and make myself lovely for him.
486
00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,823
(Coughing)
487
00:27:37,402 --> 00:27:40,693
It's ridiculous £13 a week for a tiny flat.
488
00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:44,235
- And they want F and F.
- They certainly do asking that price.
489
00:27:44,235 --> 00:27:47,610
I've looked at dozens of places
and I can't afford any of them.
490
00:27:47,610 --> 00:27:49,527
You don't supposed daddy
could be right, do you?
491
00:27:49,527 --> 00:27:50,943
Certainly not.
492
00:27:50,943 --> 00:27:53,443
and even if he is you keep looking kid.
493
00:27:53,443 --> 00:27:56,949
There's one more to try.
Gotta ring back before 12.
494
00:28:01,318 --> 00:28:04,006
- Patrick.
- Georgie darling.
495
00:28:05,568 --> 00:28:09,313
Well I'm here. So what have you got to say?
496
00:28:09,338 --> 00:28:12,876
Well I suppose the appropriate thing
to say would be hello Patrick.
497
00:28:13,652 --> 00:28:15,552
- What's this?
- Oh yes.
498
00:28:15,833 --> 00:28:19,877
Well it was a dozen red roses till I came
through the revolving door downstairs.
499
00:28:19,962 --> 00:28:21,071
Still.
500
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:25,111
- You put them in my coffee cup.
- Oh!
501
00:28:25,687 --> 00:28:28,168
Oh well it's the thought that counts.
502
00:28:29,705 --> 00:28:31,218
Well Georgie
503
00:28:32,110 --> 00:28:33,402
are you going to say yes?
504
00:28:33,402 --> 00:28:34,693
To what?
505
00:28:34,693 --> 00:28:35,693
(Chuckling)
506
00:28:35,693 --> 00:28:38,108
Good old Georgie always playing hard to get.
507
00:28:38,689 --> 00:28:40,777
Good old Patrick always playing hard to understand.
508
00:28:40,777 --> 00:28:43,743
Mr Glover. Patrick.
509
00:28:44,485 --> 00:28:45,630
You came.
510
00:28:46,152 --> 00:28:47,277
Yes.
511
00:28:47,277 --> 00:28:51,917
I knew you would. I've
been making myself beautiful.
512
00:28:51,942 --> 00:28:53,015
You have?
513
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,068
Thinking over the last
tender word you spoke to me.
514
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,794
- Bloody bucket.
- I'm very confused.
515
00:28:59,819 --> 00:29:02,465
- So am I.
- Mr Glover here.
516
00:29:05,443 --> 00:29:08,638
Before I accept, before I acquiesce,
517
00:29:08,818 --> 00:29:11,277
there is something I think you should know.
518
00:29:11,277 --> 00:29:14,110
- Hmm?
- You wouldn't be the first.
519
00:29:14,110 --> 00:29:17,527
- To what?
- Well I was just a slip of a girl
520
00:29:17,527 --> 00:29:19,693
and I'll met this GI in the blackout.
521
00:29:19,693 --> 00:29:23,735
I was blinded by a pair of nylons and a banana.
522
00:29:23,735 --> 00:29:25,985
Say it doesn't matter to you.
523
00:29:25,985 --> 00:29:27,652
It doesn't matter to me.
524
00:29:27,652 --> 00:29:31,443
Look I've had a very harassing morning and
there are one or two things that I want...
525
00:29:31,443 --> 00:29:33,683
- You do you want me don't you?
- Want you?
526
00:29:33,708 --> 00:29:36,634
- I mean I will do.
- Do?
527
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:39,591
Oh I see you want to look after me.
528
00:29:39,735 --> 00:29:42,443
- And you me as well.
- Well naturally but.
529
00:29:42,443 --> 00:29:44,933
You won't find me lacking in anything.
530
00:29:44,958 --> 00:29:47,985
I've cleaned up more mess than you could ever make.
531
00:29:47,985 --> 00:29:48,985
Really.
532
00:29:48,985 --> 00:29:53,402
And as for cooking, you never
tasted food like what I can cook.
533
00:29:53,402 --> 00:29:54,457
I'm sure.
534
00:29:54,482 --> 00:29:59,565
As for the other, well that GI taught
me a thing or two I can tell you.
535
00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:03,235
Yes their very advanced
the Americans but Miss er?
536
00:30:03,435 --> 00:30:07,823
- Gladys.
- Miss Gladys I'm afraid I'm accommodated.
537
00:30:07,861 --> 00:30:12,610
Oh that's just middle age dear.
With a little help from your friend.
538
00:30:12,610 --> 00:30:13,777
- No, no, no.
539
00:30:13,777 --> 00:30:15,742
That's what I mean I got a little help
540
00:30:15,796 --> 00:30:18,402
but not from a friend, from my nanny.
541
00:30:18,402 --> 00:30:22,943
Your nanny, she must be getting
a bit past it by now isn't she?
542
00:30:22,943 --> 00:30:26,152
Oh no, no she's very agile and capable.
543
00:30:26,152 --> 00:30:29,027
- You mean you and her like together?
544
00:30:29,027 --> 00:30:30,360
Well not together, no.
545
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:35,293
I'm usually sitting at my desk working
our plots while she does it on her own.
546
00:30:35,985 --> 00:30:40,152
- Doesn't sound very satisfactory to me.
- Oh it works out alright.
547
00:30:40,152 --> 00:30:43,818
Besides I'm afraid my resources won't stretch to two.
548
00:30:43,818 --> 00:30:46,360
No well not sitting at your desk, no.
549
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,471
(Chuckles)
550
00:30:47,610 --> 00:30:51,443
Still I'm determined not to let
another woman stand in my way.
551
00:30:51,443 --> 00:30:54,888
- You must have wanted me...
- Gladys I do think you should let
552
00:30:54,913 --> 00:30:56,168
Mr Glover make the decision
553
00:30:56,193 --> 00:30:57,466
Yes, yes you're quite right.
554
00:30:57,491 --> 00:31:00,902
Besides I did want to have a personal
and private conversation alone.
555
00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:03,628
Are yeah you come in my cubby hole with me.
556
00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:04,860
No, no, no, no I.
557
00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:08,085
- I mean with her.
- Oh yes.
558
00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:10,108
I see business before pleasure.
559
00:31:10,133 --> 00:31:11,277
(Chuckles)
560
00:31:11,277 --> 00:31:14,990
The other way around actually.
I'm asking her to marry me.
561
00:31:15,015 --> 00:31:16,235
You're what?
562
00:31:16,235 --> 00:31:17,277
You what?
563
00:31:17,277 --> 00:31:20,527
I said so on the telephone not 20 minutes ago.
564
00:31:20,527 --> 00:31:23,406
- Not to me.
- Well of course it was to you darling.
565
00:31:23,431 --> 00:31:25,864
Well I mean if it wasn't to you,
who the hell else could it have...
566
00:31:27,402 --> 00:31:30,818
Oh dear look I didn't mean it I assure you.
567
00:31:30,818 --> 00:31:33,735
Cast me aside like an old sock, would you?
568
00:31:33,735 --> 00:31:35,777
I'm not good enough for you hey?
569
00:31:35,777 --> 00:31:39,485
Well let me tell you something I am not rubbish.
570
00:31:39,485 --> 00:31:42,334
I'll may not be dressed in the height of fashion.
571
00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:45,252
I may not be sought after by the Jet set.
572
00:31:45,277 --> 00:31:47,568
Perhaps I haven't been photographed,
573
00:31:47,568 --> 00:31:54,068
exchanging witty pleasantries with Lord
Snowden up Ascot but I'm not rubbish mate.
574
00:31:54,068 --> 00:31:57,402
It's people like me what of
made Britain what it is today!
575
00:31:57,402 --> 00:31:58,818
Yes I can well believe that.
576
00:31:58,818 --> 00:32:03,485
And her you could take her to
your harem with your nanny
577
00:32:03,485 --> 00:32:06,558
but don't ask me to make up a 4.
578
00:32:06,844 --> 00:32:12,411
And you, you can find another
old bag to do your cleaning.
579
00:32:13,622 --> 00:32:14,796
(Coughing)
580
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:28,152
Oh Mr Patrick and how was Miss Georgie?
581
00:32:28,152 --> 00:32:29,985
Oh she was fine nanny, fine.
582
00:32:29,985 --> 00:32:32,777
Trouble is she didn't say
yes and she didn't say no.
583
00:32:32,777 --> 00:32:34,193
To what?
584
00:32:34,193 --> 00:32:39,051
Well let’s just say that I've just sewn
the first seeds to making her a mother.
585
00:32:39,435 --> 00:32:42,708
- You need a cup of tea.
- I need a drink.
586
00:32:43,193 --> 00:32:46,818
Well I found one.
587
00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:49,226
- Found what darling?
- A flat I can afford.
588
00:32:49,251 --> 00:32:51,406
I can move in next Monday.
589
00:32:52,551 --> 00:32:56,164
Well I hope you're pleased
one of your daughters is happy.
590
00:32:58,735 --> 00:33:00,355
(Door slams shut)
591
00:33:03,404 --> 00:33:06,777
Daddy seems to be taking it well.
I thought he'd try to stop you.
592
00:33:06,777 --> 00:33:09,798
He did but I talked him round.
593
00:33:10,118 --> 00:33:12,607
Steady Richard steady. Go easy, go easy.
594
00:33:12,632 --> 00:33:14,652
That's fine, that's better, good.
595
00:33:14,677 --> 00:33:16,910
It's alright sir I think you can let go now.
596
00:33:16,935 --> 00:33:18,532
- I already have.
- Oh.
597
00:33:18,557 --> 00:33:20,790
It's not much more stuff Karen.
598
00:33:22,396 --> 00:33:23,771
Wait a minute.
599
00:33:24,152 --> 00:33:25,276
Alright.
600
00:33:26,943 --> 00:33:29,099
Richard the van's out here.
601
00:33:29,124 --> 00:33:30,131
Oh.
602
00:33:32,586 --> 00:33:34,421
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
603
00:33:34,446 --> 00:33:35,584
Alright.
604
00:33:41,985 --> 00:33:46,211
Well all your bits and pieces are on the van
605
00:33:46,443 --> 00:33:49,511
and now my little girl is ready to leave home.
606
00:33:49,536 --> 00:33:52,989
- You're not going to cry, are you?
- Oh no, of course not.
607
00:33:53,389 --> 00:33:57,168
It is quite a moment though, isn't it.
608
00:33:57,193 --> 00:33:58,568
Sit down darling.
609
00:33:58,568 --> 00:34:04,277
You know it's at moments like this when I
feel that there's lots of advice that perhaps
610
00:34:04,277 --> 00:34:07,170
I should have given to you over the last 18 years.
611
00:34:07,902 --> 00:34:11,746
- Perhaps I can best sum it up by saying..
- Don't drop them whatever you do.
612
00:34:11,771 --> 00:34:12,777
Exactly.
613
00:34:12,932 --> 00:34:14,110
What?
614
00:34:14,110 --> 00:34:16,693
- Glass animals sir.
- Oh I see.
615
00:34:16,772 --> 00:34:17,776
Yeah.
616
00:34:18,735 --> 00:34:20,401
Now where was I?
617
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:24,360
I think you are all set to warn
me against premarital sex
618
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,686
and how without love it is but a hollow sham.
619
00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:29,960
Yes, yes.
620
00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:33,224
It doesn't seem much point now, does it.
621
00:34:33,249 --> 00:34:34,690
(Glass breaks)
622
00:34:35,277 --> 00:34:37,798
It's alright sir. I think
some of them are still intact.
623
00:34:37,823 --> 00:34:42,568
I'm not very good as a removal man but
you know Karen insisted that I, Sorry.
624
00:34:42,650 --> 00:34:43,656
Sorry.
625
00:34:46,610 --> 00:34:48,818
Tuesday? What happened on Tuesday?
626
00:34:48,860 --> 00:34:50,783
Nothing daddy.
627
00:34:51,479 --> 00:34:53,166
(Soft music)
628
00:35:03,318 --> 00:35:07,210
Darling why don't we drive
you to this new flat of yours?
629
00:35:07,235 --> 00:35:09,902
No, no thanks I want to get it all fixed first.
630
00:35:09,902 --> 00:35:12,193
Well I, I don't mind.
631
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:13,535
I do.
632
00:35:14,193 --> 00:35:17,508
Yes but I mean Richard and
Karen are helping you why can't I?
633
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:19,277
Well they're not fathers.
634
00:35:19,277 --> 00:35:21,783
Just give me a couple of days to settle in.
635
00:35:21,808 --> 00:35:24,318
- Very well darling.
- Oh daddy.
636
00:35:24,343 --> 00:35:27,568
We'll still see each other I won't be far away.
637
00:35:27,568 --> 00:35:29,235
Oh no, no, no of course.
638
00:35:29,260 --> 00:35:31,152
I mean, you're quite right.
639
00:35:31,152 --> 00:35:34,527
This is a happy occasion. We
must've been sad about it.
640
00:35:34,527 --> 00:35:36,735
I baked a little going away pie.
641
00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,055
It's rhubarb.
642
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,818
You always used to like my (Sobbing)
643
00:35:39,818 --> 00:35:42,319
Come along nanny, come along
now. Pull yourself together.
644
00:35:42,344 --> 00:35:45,198
- Goodbye daddy.
- Goodbye my darling.
645
00:35:45,402 --> 00:35:46,719
Bye darling.
646
00:35:49,277 --> 00:35:51,152
I'm coming back.
647
00:35:51,152 --> 00:35:52,610
Oh yes, yes.
648
00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:55,730
Don't worry sir I'll see she gets that safely.
649
00:35:57,526 --> 00:36:00,660
And don't forget a hollow sham.
650
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,852
Come on H G.
651
00:36:02,877 --> 00:36:04,643
(Starter motor turns over)
652
00:36:08,943 --> 00:36:12,603
- Isn't it quiet nanny?
- Yes it is.
653
00:36:14,538 --> 00:36:16,644
(Van engine fires up)
654
00:36:23,211 --> 00:36:27,127
Thus with her father for a certain
space dwelleth this flower.
655
00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:28,652
I beg your pardon?
656
00:36:28,652 --> 00:36:32,027
- The Clark's Tale nanny, Chaucer.
- Yes Mr Patrick.
657
00:36:32,027 --> 00:36:35,982
- Now would you like a nice cup of tea?
- I feel so empty.
658
00:36:36,007 --> 00:36:38,485
Would you like a slice of cake?
659
00:36:38,485 --> 00:36:40,235
Food won't help.
660
00:36:40,235 --> 00:36:43,402
Oh Mr Patrick you mustn't go on like that.
661
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:45,152
Life has to go on you know.
662
00:36:45,152 --> 00:36:47,907
- Were you never a father nanny?
- No Mr Patrick.
663
00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:51,277
Well there you are you see. You
don't feel things the way I do.
664
00:36:51,277 --> 00:36:55,176
The song has ended but the melody lingers on.
665
00:36:55,318 --> 00:36:57,735
Where is that sound of music?
666
00:36:57,735 --> 00:37:00,756
- It's at the Odeon this week.
- Yes.
667
00:37:00,781 --> 00:37:03,277
No I meant about the house nanny.
668
00:37:03,277 --> 00:37:07,256
The laughter, the chatter, the gaiety it's all gone.
669
00:37:07,402 --> 00:37:12,318
It's a times like this when I feel old
age and loneliness creeping over me.
670
00:37:12,318 --> 00:37:14,652
She's only been gone 3 minutes.
671
00:37:14,890 --> 00:37:16,390
(Soft music)
672
00:37:20,256 --> 00:37:22,176
(Engine revs)
673
00:37:39,870 --> 00:37:42,823
- I'll go on up.
- Right.
674
00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:52,856
- Alright.
- Careful.
675
00:37:53,902 --> 00:37:55,101
Over there.
676
00:37:56,318 --> 00:37:58,444
How are we gonna get this box?
677
00:38:02,985 --> 00:38:05,198
On the floor, on the floor.
678
00:38:06,445 --> 00:38:10,568
- Right now which flat is it?
- It's up here Richard.
679
00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:15,846
In here Richard.
680
00:38:15,871 --> 00:38:19,172
Why couldn't you get a flat on the ground floor?
681
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:29,446
Well don't stand there. Put it down somewhere.
682
00:38:30,211 --> 00:38:33,631
Oh Richard you are a clumsy twit.
683
00:38:33,744 --> 00:38:35,210
Yes I am aren't I
684
00:38:35,235 --> 00:38:38,101
Well I must say this flat,
you know it certainly er.
685
00:38:39,152 --> 00:38:41,981
I'll go get the other stuff.
686
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,693
- Well what do you think?
- Hmm.
687
00:38:44,693 --> 00:38:48,386
I can understand why you
didn't want daddy to see it.
688
00:38:49,398 --> 00:38:51,118
What's in there?
689
00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:55,402
- That's the kitchen.
- Kitchen!
690
00:38:55,402 --> 00:38:57,407
And that's the dining room.
691
00:38:57,432 --> 00:38:59,427
Oh blimey.
692
00:39:01,402 --> 00:39:03,610
Well it's all I could afford.
693
00:39:03,610 --> 00:39:05,777
You won't know this place when I finish with it.
694
00:39:05,777 --> 00:39:07,887
- All it needs is.
- Demolition?
695
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:08,883
Don't be funny.
696
00:39:08,908 --> 00:39:09,947
(Pipes rattle)
697
00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:11,811
Blimey what's that?
698
00:39:12,485 --> 00:39:15,527
- It's the downstairs loo.
- Oh great.
699
00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:18,610
If someone in the house gets
the trots, you get insomnia.
700
00:39:18,610 --> 00:39:19,818
I don't care.
701
00:39:19,860 --> 00:39:24,388
It may not be Windsor castle,
but at least it's a place of my own.
702
00:39:34,902 --> 00:39:36,355
(Doorbell buzzes)
703
00:39:41,193 --> 00:39:42,485
Yes?
704
00:39:42,485 --> 00:39:43,318
Sorry, what?
705
00:39:43,318 --> 00:39:45,068
- You rang my doorbell.
- Oh I'm terribly sorry.
706
00:39:45,068 --> 00:39:45,985
It must've been my chest.
707
00:39:45,985 --> 00:39:49,318
You know not my chest, my,
my girlfriend's sister's chest.
708
00:39:51,818 --> 00:39:55,193
- I'll give you a hand.
- Oh thanks very much it's on the top floor.
709
00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:56,564
Oh.
710
00:39:56,589 --> 00:39:58,024
Alright.
711
00:40:00,980 --> 00:40:03,271
- Here.
- Thank you.
712
00:40:05,318 --> 00:40:08,402
But you told daddy you'd found a luxury flat.
713
00:40:08,402 --> 00:40:10,818
Well you know what he's
like. It was only a white lie.
714
00:40:10,818 --> 00:40:14,238
And that is the worst kind.
715
00:40:14,318 --> 00:40:16,651
Now this is the gentleman
from the ground floor flat.
716
00:40:16,676 --> 00:40:18,296
Now this is Anna.
717
00:40:18,402 --> 00:40:20,485
I'm Larry the token black tenant.
718
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:23,273
Hi this is Karen and Richard.
They're helping me move in.
719
00:40:23,298 --> 00:40:25,777
This whole room just for you?
720
00:40:25,777 --> 00:40:29,193
Man you could get 12 of my kind in here you know.
721
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:32,876
I must say, you've certainly
got a sense of humour.
722
00:40:35,185 --> 00:40:37,318
- What's the landlord like?
- I don't know.
723
00:40:37,318 --> 00:40:40,226
When him come in, I just limbo
to slide under the wardrobe.
724
00:40:40,251 --> 00:40:43,152
Don't listen to him, he couldn't
limbo under the Marble Arch.
725
00:40:43,152 --> 00:40:45,318
Hi I'm Anna I'm just moving in.
726
00:40:45,318 --> 00:40:48,360
I'm Maggie has he been doing his
chocolate coloured goon act again?
727
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,360
- Something like that.
- Ignore it.
728
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,841
We live downstairs when you've
unpacked come and have a coffee.
729
00:40:52,866 --> 00:40:57,079
- Thanks we will
- Come on you your watermelons getting cold.
730
00:40:57,527 --> 00:40:59,986
Well hush my mouth.
731
00:41:01,943 --> 00:41:04,402
Pierre LeBlanc examined the gun.
732
00:41:04,402 --> 00:41:08,376
He scratched his nose, wiped it
carefully and put it in his pocket.
733
00:41:08,401 --> 00:41:10,652
- Elevenses.
- Are thank you nanny.
734
00:41:10,652 --> 00:41:14,193
- How's the writing coming along?
- Oh it's dreadful nanny, dreadful.
735
00:41:14,193 --> 00:41:16,902
These last couple of days I've
had nothing but peace and quiet.
736
00:41:16,902 --> 00:41:18,955
I can't stand it.
(Doorbell rings)
737
00:41:18,980 --> 00:41:21,398
Noise, bliss, bliss.
738
00:41:24,043 --> 00:41:28,210
His thoughts now turn to Fifi the belly dancer.
739
00:41:28,235 --> 00:41:31,988
He wondered if she would
come across. She usually did.
740
00:41:32,818 --> 00:41:36,361
LeBlanc now realised that he was alone in the room.
741
00:41:36,777 --> 00:41:38,777
He glanced towards the door.
742
00:41:38,777 --> 00:41:41,527
Slowly the door handle began to turn.
743
00:41:41,527 --> 00:41:43,110
LeBlanc froze.
744
00:41:43,110 --> 00:41:46,803
Then in a flash the door swung
open and there stood
745
00:41:46,828 --> 00:41:48,818
- Mr Phillip
- Hello Patrick!
746
00:41:48,818 --> 00:41:50,068
What did I say?
747
00:41:50,068 --> 00:41:52,485
53 to 1 and it romped home.
748
00:41:52,485 --> 00:41:55,068
Without a jockey it doesn't count.
749
00:41:55,068 --> 00:41:57,193
Well then, fortunately not.
750
00:41:57,193 --> 00:41:59,402
However it's still not too
late to recoup your losses.
751
00:41:59,402 --> 00:42:01,402
- My losses?
- Our losses.
752
00:42:01,402 --> 00:42:05,318
- Your losses.
- Alright well let's not pool about words.
753
00:42:05,318 --> 00:42:06,610
Sorry.
754
00:42:06,610 --> 00:42:09,878
The 3 o'clock at Trepsdale. Look Auntie Mae.
755
00:42:09,947 --> 00:42:11,568
Auntie Mae!
756
00:42:11,568 --> 00:42:13,777
If that's not a good omen I don't know what is.
757
00:42:13,777 --> 00:42:15,902
We don't happen to have an Auntie Mae.
758
00:42:15,902 --> 00:42:18,235
That is a defeatist attitude Patrick.
759
00:42:18,235 --> 00:42:20,235
I'm just slipping round to Anna's daddy.
760
00:42:20,235 --> 00:42:22,902
- Oh hello uncle Phillip.
- Hello niece.
761
00:42:22,902 --> 00:42:25,996
She forgot to take Che Guevara.
762
00:42:26,727 --> 00:42:28,375
I can't keep up with these pop singers.
763
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,068
Look when am I gonna be allowed to see Anna's flat.
764
00:42:31,068 --> 00:42:35,069
Oh give her a chance daddy. She's
decorating like a mad thing.
765
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,860
And as soon as she's finished,
she's gonna ask you round to dinner.
766
00:42:37,860 --> 00:42:39,301
- Bye.
- Bye
767
00:42:39,326 --> 00:42:43,652
Alright but you know your mother's not
going to like this when she hears about it.
768
00:42:45,235 --> 00:42:49,360
- So Anna's left home has she?
- Yes.
769
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:53,166
- And Barbara doesn't know.
- No.
770
00:42:54,068 --> 00:42:57,821
Hmm shall we say 10 quid?
771
00:43:03,245 --> 00:43:04,245
5.
772
00:43:05,485 --> 00:43:06,828
Thank you.
773
00:43:09,068 --> 00:43:12,068
As soon as you've done this bit I'll put this up.
774
00:43:12,068 --> 00:43:15,027
This is ridiculous it'll never work.
775
00:43:15,027 --> 00:43:19,068
Oh it was worth the try. The place
is beginning to look a bit better.
776
00:43:19,068 --> 00:43:21,777
- Do you really think so?
- No I lied.
777
00:43:21,777 --> 00:43:24,110
Have you seen anything of
your downstairs neighbours?
778
00:43:24,110 --> 00:43:29,777
I was down there yesterday for coffee. They
got a super flat, fitted carpets, modern furniture.
779
00:43:29,777 --> 00:43:33,110
They even bought their dry rot
from the Harrods, not like this dump.
780
00:43:33,110 --> 00:43:36,277
Aren't you happy here? Do
you think you made a mistake?
781
00:43:36,277 --> 00:43:39,041
- Shall I tell daddy?
- No I'm not.
782
00:43:39,066 --> 00:43:40,360
Yes I did
783
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:44,956
and in answer to your 3rd question
I'll tell daddy when I'm ready.
784
00:43:48,568 --> 00:43:51,916
You staying for lunch, it's sausages and beans.
785
00:43:52,093 --> 00:43:56,027
In a white wash sauce? No thanks.
786
00:43:56,027 --> 00:43:59,473
The bloated body of Niarcus
drifted upside down in.
787
00:44:01,171 --> 00:44:03,652
Now pay attention H G don't let your mind wander.
788
00:44:03,652 --> 00:44:08,066
In the slime of the canal a rat
swam past and nibbled at his.
789
00:44:08,091 --> 00:44:09,577
(Phone rings)
790
00:44:14,353 --> 00:44:15,360
Hello?
791
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,777
Have you ever thought of rubbing
your head with a boiled beetroot?
792
00:44:18,777 --> 00:44:21,110
Hello mother. Oh no I haven't.
793
00:44:21,110 --> 00:44:25,091
- Is there any reason why I should?
- It's an old country remedy.
794
00:44:25,116 --> 00:44:29,229
You did say you lost all your hair
when I talked to you on the telephone.
795
00:44:29,254 --> 00:44:31,652
Mother you've got hold of the wrong end of it.
796
00:44:31,652 --> 00:44:34,027
Have I? Oh!
797
00:44:35,443 --> 00:44:39,103
Hello, hello Patrick.
798
00:44:39,128 --> 00:44:40,676
Hello, hello mother.
799
00:44:40,701 --> 00:44:41,777
Mother?
800
00:44:41,777 --> 00:44:43,810
It's no use I can't hear you that way.
801
00:44:43,835 --> 00:44:46,443
Look darling I've got a full head of hair.
802
00:44:46,511 --> 00:44:48,345
I can see it across the room.
803
00:44:48,370 --> 00:44:51,818
Oh good then you did buy a wigwam.
804
00:44:51,818 --> 00:44:52,856
Yes that's right mother.
805
00:44:52,881 --> 00:44:53,820
(Doorbell rings)
806
00:44:53,845 --> 00:44:56,692
Oh look mother darling the
front door bell is ringing.
807
00:44:56,717 --> 00:44:58,878
I'd better go an answer it.
808
00:44:59,348 --> 00:45:03,054
No, no. No mother. Mother look.
809
00:45:03,094 --> 00:45:04,334
(doorbell rings again)
810
00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:08,348
It's alright nanny I'll get it. It'll be Karen.
811
00:45:09,193 --> 00:45:11,073
Alright you inside.
812
00:45:11,610 --> 00:45:14,068
- Barbara hello.
- Hello Patrick.
813
00:45:14,068 --> 00:45:16,693
- Is Bill with you?
- No he's not.
814
00:45:16,693 --> 00:45:19,652
- Aren't you going to invite me in?
- Oh yes, yes of course.
815
00:45:19,652 --> 00:45:21,402
Yes please do, yeah.
816
00:45:24,027 --> 00:45:26,895
- I thought you two were in Nice.
- No, no Paris.
817
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,061
- On your card you said it was Nice.
- I said it was nice.
818
00:45:30,126 --> 00:45:31,133
(Laughs)
819
00:45:31,943 --> 00:45:33,656
We came back on Tuesday.
820
00:45:33,681 --> 00:45:38,004
I'll take your suitcase. I
thought you meant Nice.
821
00:45:38,029 --> 00:45:41,610
- Suitcase what are you doing with a suitcase?
- Well I thought you might put me up for a day or two.
822
00:45:41,610 --> 00:45:43,537
- What?
- You see I've left Bill.
823
00:45:43,562 --> 00:45:46,402
- What again?
- As a husband he's almost as bad as you were.
824
00:45:46,402 --> 00:45:48,318
- Oh Miss Barbara.
- Oh nanny.
825
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,443
- I mean Mrs Mossman.
- Hello.
826
00:45:50,468 --> 00:45:52,110
Just a minute, just a minute!
827
00:45:52,110 --> 00:45:56,027
- What do you mean left him?
- Nanny I would love a cup of coffee.
828
00:45:56,027 --> 00:45:58,402
Of course. Oh isn't this a surprise Mr Patrick.
829
00:45:58,402 --> 00:45:59,568
Yes isn't it.
830
00:45:59,568 --> 00:46:03,027
- I repeat what do you mean left him?
- We had a blazing row.
831
00:46:03,027 --> 00:46:04,818
He broke your wedding present to us.
832
00:46:04,818 --> 00:46:06,451
The Armalou clock but how?
833
00:46:06,476 --> 00:46:07,818
He ducked when I threw it at him.
834
00:46:07,818 --> 00:46:08,985
Hello H G.
835
00:46:08,985 --> 00:46:12,943
- Never mind the retched dog.
- But anyway one thing led to another so I walked out.
836
00:46:12,943 --> 00:46:15,078
- For good?
- Well that depends on him doesn't it?
837
00:46:15,103 --> 00:46:18,360
I mean if he wants to come
crawling back. That's new.
838
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,435
- But you left him.
- Don't confuse the issue.
839
00:46:21,460 --> 00:46:23,902
- Who gave you that?
- My agent.
840
00:46:23,902 --> 00:46:25,693
- George.
- Georgie.
841
00:46:25,693 --> 00:46:28,402
Oh yes of course she's a
woman isn't she. I always forget.
842
00:46:28,402 --> 00:46:31,027
Yes lovely girl in the right light.
843
00:46:31,027 --> 00:46:33,235
Now look here Barbara does
Bill know that you're here?
844
00:46:33,235 --> 00:46:35,610
- No.
- Well then how can he come crawling back?
845
00:46:35,610 --> 00:46:37,777
- Love will find a way.
- Oh my god.
846
00:46:37,777 --> 00:46:39,985
This is the 3rd time you've left Bill.
847
00:46:39,985 --> 00:46:42,818
The 1st time you went to your mother,
the 2nd time you went to his mother,
848
00:46:42,860 --> 00:46:45,652
I appreciate you've run
out of mothers but why me?
849
00:46:45,652 --> 00:46:47,643
- My children are here.
- Oh for heaven's sake.
850
00:46:47,668 --> 00:46:49,829
Besides I didn't think you'd
mind just for a day or two.
851
00:46:49,854 --> 00:46:51,777
Don't start crying for goodness sake.
852
00:46:51,777 --> 00:46:54,023
After all it was your wedding
present that started it all.
853
00:46:54,048 --> 00:46:54,958
I know.
854
00:46:54,983 --> 00:46:58,068
- Mummy what a super surprise.
- Hello darling.
855
00:46:58,068 --> 00:47:00,943
- Daddy didn't say you were coming.
- Daddy didn't know.
856
00:47:00,943 --> 00:47:04,527
There we are. There shall I
take your suitcase upstairs?
857
00:47:04,527 --> 00:47:06,527
You are staying?
858
00:47:06,527 --> 00:47:08,985
- Well.
- Oh alright.
859
00:47:08,985 --> 00:47:12,591
You can have Anna's room
now she's got her own flat.
860
00:47:13,158 --> 00:47:18,110
- She's got what?
- Oh she's got a flat of her own. On her own.
861
00:47:18,110 --> 00:47:21,652
- She moved in on Monday.
- Well Patrick is that wise I mean she's only 18.
862
00:47:21,652 --> 00:47:22,818
What sort of a flat is it?
863
00:47:22,818 --> 00:47:26,735
Well I mean it's a, it's a, it's a,
how would you describe it Karen?
864
00:47:26,735 --> 00:47:29,595
Well it's a sort of um er...
865
00:47:30,958 --> 00:47:33,110
You haven't even seen it.
866
00:47:33,211 --> 00:47:34,571
(Mumbles words)
867
00:47:35,610 --> 00:47:37,663
No. Coffee?
868
00:47:39,610 --> 00:47:42,693
- I think it's your sister. Karen is it?
- Yes.
869
00:47:42,693 --> 00:47:43,818
She sounds a bit excited.
870
00:47:43,818 --> 00:47:45,985
I hope you didn't mind me
giving her your number.
871
00:47:45,985 --> 00:47:48,402
- But you said I could.
- No that's okay.
872
00:47:48,402 --> 00:47:51,485
Look I gotta catch the shops before they shut.
Shut the door when you finished.
873
00:47:51,485 --> 00:47:52,318
Okay.
874
00:47:52,318 --> 00:47:54,110
- Hello?
- Hello it's me.
875
00:47:54,110 --> 00:47:57,693
Listen you've got troubles. Daddy's
on his way round to look at your flat.
876
00:47:57,693 --> 00:47:59,818
- Oh no.
- Yes mummy insisted.
877
00:47:59,818 --> 00:48:02,110
- She really had a go at him.
- Mummy?
878
00:48:02,110 --> 00:48:04,527
- What's she doing there?
- She's left Uncle Bill again
879
00:48:04,527 --> 00:48:07,055
and she's staying here for a few days.
880
00:48:10,152 --> 00:48:14,812
But I can't let him see my flat.
He'll only say I told you so.
881
00:48:15,860 --> 00:48:18,652
Alright well thanks for telling me.
882
00:48:18,652 --> 00:48:20,805
Well I'll just have to...
883
00:48:22,152 --> 00:48:25,458
To buy some somewhere else.
884
00:48:26,193 --> 00:48:29,443
- Hello darling.
- Hello daddy.
885
00:48:29,443 --> 00:48:31,985
- For you.
- Oh flowers.
886
00:48:31,985 --> 00:48:34,305
Karen told me we lived on the 4th floor.
887
00:48:34,330 --> 00:48:36,818
- Yes well you see
- I say this is nice.
888
00:48:36,818 --> 00:48:38,402
This is very nice.
889
00:48:38,402 --> 00:48:39,610
Yes it is.
890
00:48:39,610 --> 00:48:43,777
- Yes you have done well for yourself.
- What?
891
00:48:43,777 --> 00:48:45,828
Yes and your own telephone too.
892
00:48:45,853 --> 00:48:48,152
I must make a note of the number before I go.
893
00:48:48,152 --> 00:48:51,002
You don't mind me looking around do you?
894
00:48:51,027 --> 00:48:53,913
- Liberty Hall.
- Liberty Hall.
895
00:48:54,068 --> 00:48:56,818
Now then what's in here hey?
896
00:48:56,818 --> 00:49:00,378
- The kitchen.
- The bathroom.
897
00:49:00,735 --> 00:49:03,443
Oh this must be the kitchen then.
898
00:49:03,443 --> 00:49:05,693
- Possibly.
- Possibly.
899
00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:08,277
- Possibly you'd like a drink.
- Drink?
900
00:49:08,277 --> 00:49:12,568
- You mean you've got drink in your flat?
- Not exactly what you call drink.
901
00:49:12,568 --> 00:49:14,384
Just something for the odd visitor.
902
00:49:14,409 --> 00:49:17,735
- Odd what's odd about your visitors?
- Nothing daddy.
903
00:49:17,735 --> 00:49:19,485
It's in the kitchen.
904
00:49:19,485 --> 00:49:22,110
Well I must say darling you
really, no wait a minute
905
00:49:22,110 --> 00:49:23,511
that's the bathroom.
906
00:49:23,591 --> 00:49:25,860
You don't know your way around your own flat.
907
00:49:25,860 --> 00:49:29,108
No but I'm learning very fast daddy.
908
00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:30,755
Yes. (chuckling)
909
00:49:30,780 --> 00:49:33,110
Well I must say darling this really.
910
00:49:33,152 --> 00:49:37,193
Oh I see you've thrown out your little chest.
911
00:49:37,466 --> 00:49:38,549
- What?
912
00:49:38,943 --> 00:49:41,985
- Your painted chest darling.
- Oh that.
913
00:49:41,985 --> 00:49:43,402
Yes.
914
00:49:43,402 --> 00:49:46,235
- The drink.
- Oh don't worry about that dear.
915
00:49:46,235 --> 00:49:47,495
Here, here.
916
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:49,735
Oh dearie dear.
917
00:49:49,735 --> 00:49:54,961
Well you know darling it is not the same
at home without you, not the same at all, no.
918
00:49:55,860 --> 00:49:58,121
We all miss you very much.
919
00:49:58,693 --> 00:50:01,818
I er I brought you a little present.
920
00:50:01,818 --> 00:50:03,986
Something I thought you might like.
921
00:50:05,110 --> 00:50:06,896
Oh it.
922
00:50:07,743 --> 00:50:09,919
I'll put it there.
923
00:50:12,027 --> 00:50:16,369
- It's one of my favourites.
- It's one of mine too daddy.
924
00:50:16,782 --> 00:50:19,782
The eyes seem to follow you all round the room.
925
00:50:19,807 --> 00:50:21,039
Yes.
926
00:50:21,064 --> 00:50:24,460
Oh darling I am so pleased for you
927
00:50:24,485 --> 00:50:27,380
and here was I all prepared to say
928
00:50:27,405 --> 00:50:29,610
- There are two beds!
- Where?
929
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:31,423
- There.
- Oh yes.
930
00:50:31,448 --> 00:50:34,818
- There are two beds.
- One there and one there.
931
00:50:34,818 --> 00:50:36,860
Well there is an explanation
932
00:50:36,860 --> 00:50:38,652
it's perfectly simple.
933
00:50:38,652 --> 00:50:41,152
- I share it.
- Share what?
934
00:50:41,152 --> 00:50:42,985
- The flat.
- Oh.
935
00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:46,235
I couldn't possibly afford a place like this on my own,
936
00:50:46,235 --> 00:50:48,527
so this friend and I we go half.
937
00:50:48,527 --> 00:50:50,818
I see you share.
938
00:50:50,818 --> 00:50:53,902
Oh well that's alright then.
939
00:50:53,902 --> 00:50:56,777
My word your mother will be pleased.
940
00:50:56,777 --> 00:51:00,735
I'm absolutely furious I
don't care how nice the flat is.
941
00:51:00,735 --> 00:51:03,777
- She's not old enough to live on her own.
- She's not on her own.
942
00:51:03,777 --> 00:51:06,845
She's sharing it. All young
girls do that these days.
943
00:51:06,870 --> 00:51:10,610
I'm not talking about young girls.
I'm talking about our daughter.
944
00:51:10,610 --> 00:51:13,443
- Well she's only 18.
- Exactly and living in a flat.
945
00:51:13,443 --> 00:51:15,318
I mean anything could happen to her.
946
00:51:15,318 --> 00:51:17,985
- Oh not to her.
- What do you mean not to her?
947
00:51:17,985 --> 00:51:19,443
She's a very attractive girl.
948
00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:25,231
No what I mean is. well I had a long
talk with her about sex when she was 13.
949
00:51:25,256 --> 00:51:26,079
(Doorbell rings)
950
00:51:26,104 --> 00:51:27,124
- Really?
- Yes.
951
00:51:27,149 --> 00:51:30,568
- I learnt a lot of things I never knew.
- They I can believe.
952
00:51:30,610 --> 00:51:31,709
(doorbell ringing)
953
00:51:31,902 --> 00:51:36,136
- Who on earth is that?
- It can only be Karen's boyfriend.
954
00:51:36,261 --> 00:51:38,386
I'll get it, it'll be Richard.
955
00:51:38,943 --> 00:51:40,823
Now look Barbara.
956
00:51:41,116 --> 00:51:42,662
(Doorbell continues ringing)
957
00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,860
I'm terribly sorry I'm afraid
I've jammed the doorbell again.
958
00:51:45,860 --> 00:51:48,693
It only does that when you come.
959
00:51:50,943 --> 00:51:53,402
Karen look, Karen I've been thinking.
960
00:51:53,402 --> 00:51:55,376
Perhaps this is not a good
moment to speak to your father.
961
00:51:55,401 --> 00:51:56,444
Why not?
962
00:51:56,469 --> 00:51:58,727
I've just run over his lawn sprinkler.
963
00:51:59,586 --> 00:52:01,943
- What's he like then?
- Richard?
964
00:52:01,943 --> 00:52:04,568
Oh he means well at least I hope he does.
965
00:52:04,568 --> 00:52:08,485
Oh Mr Patrick dinner will be ready in 5 minutes.
966
00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:09,985
Thank you nanny.
967
00:52:09,985 --> 00:52:14,271
It's just like old times having
both of you here together again.
968
00:52:16,068 --> 00:52:17,652
Go on.
969
00:52:17,652 --> 00:52:20,610
Daddy Richard's got something to say to you.
970
00:52:20,610 --> 00:52:22,360
- Oh.
- Yes
971
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:23,652
er I'd like a word with you sir.
972
00:52:23,652 --> 00:52:26,527
- Good evening Miss.
- Good evening.
973
00:52:26,527 --> 00:52:28,735
I'd like, I'd like a word with you sir.
974
00:52:29,108 --> 00:52:30,595
Man to man.
975
00:52:31,402 --> 00:52:33,527
- Barbara?
- Of course.
976
00:52:33,527 --> 00:52:35,360
I'll go and help nanny with the dinner.
977
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:39,103
Yes it's about Karen sir. Your daughter.
978
00:52:39,443 --> 00:52:41,676
I do know who Karen is Richard.
979
00:52:41,948 --> 00:52:46,360
Good, good yes well it's
about me and er. Cigarette sir?
980
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:48,527
- Thank you very much.
- Here we go.
981
00:52:48,527 --> 00:52:49,443
I've got a light here somewhere.
982
00:52:49,443 --> 00:52:51,610
Richard, Richard you you've got my finger.
983
00:52:51,610 --> 00:52:53,568
Sorry, sorry.
984
00:52:53,568 --> 00:52:56,235
- Thank you.
- Alright.
985
00:52:56,235 --> 00:52:58,110
I'm so sorry.
986
00:52:58,110 --> 00:52:59,443
Just a little wheel.
987
00:52:59,443 --> 00:53:02,503
There we are, alright.
988
00:53:03,123 --> 00:53:04,902
- You see...
- No Richard.
989
00:53:04,902 --> 00:53:06,152
Sorry!
990
00:53:06,152 --> 00:53:07,818
Oh I'm sorry.
991
00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:10,735
I didn't really want one actually thank you.
992
00:53:10,735 --> 00:53:14,485
Well you see sir we've er. We've
been going out for some time
993
00:53:14,510 --> 00:53:18,152
and er well she thought, I thought.
994
00:53:18,152 --> 00:53:20,818
Well in fact that is we both thought.
995
00:53:20,818 --> 00:53:23,568
- You're far too young.
- I haven't finished yet sir.
996
00:53:23,568 --> 00:53:27,028
Get engaged. Yes we both thought we'd get engaged.
997
00:53:27,277 --> 00:53:30,188
- Now you can say it sir.
- My dear Richard.
998
00:53:30,902 --> 00:53:33,110
- Cigarette sir, here.
- No, no, no.
999
00:53:33,110 --> 00:53:34,527
We've tried that Richard.
1000
00:53:34,527 --> 00:53:36,943
Now why do you want to get engaged?
1001
00:53:36,943 --> 00:53:40,818
Well it's er a way of getting
to know each other sir, better.
1002
00:53:40,818 --> 00:53:45,398
I mean er you wouldn't buy a motorbike
without first riding round the block first.
1003
00:53:45,860 --> 00:53:50,368
Well I fail to see the connection unless of course
you're planning to ride my daughter around the block.
1004
00:53:50,393 --> 00:53:51,818
No sir.
1005
00:53:51,818 --> 00:53:54,079
Why don't you sit down Richard.
1006
00:53:54,104 --> 00:53:56,850
I realise I'm not making a very good.
1007
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,388
- Oh!
- Sorry.
1008
00:53:58,413 --> 00:54:00,275
I'm terribly sorry.
1009
00:54:01,485 --> 00:54:02,318
Sorry.
1010
00:54:02,318 --> 00:54:04,068
It's alright it's only the head
1011
00:54:04,110 --> 00:54:06,471
and I've broken it before.
1012
00:54:13,568 --> 00:54:20,027
Yes well perhaps another time sir,
when you're, when you're not so angry.
1013
00:54:20,027 --> 00:54:22,221
I'll raise the matter again.
1014
00:54:23,652 --> 00:54:26,900
- Richard the door opens inwards.
- Sorry.
1015
00:54:29,818 --> 00:54:33,211
Goodbye sir. I think that's yours, I believe.
1016
00:54:35,943 --> 00:54:39,110
- Well?
- He's thinking about it.
1017
00:54:39,110 --> 00:54:40,909
Oh brother.
1018
00:54:41,693 --> 00:54:43,293
Mr Patrick.
1019
00:54:48,380 --> 00:54:50,628
- There we are.
- Candles?
1020
00:54:50,653 --> 00:54:54,068
- Have the lights fused or something?
- I just thought it had been nicer without.
1021
00:54:54,068 --> 00:54:58,853
You always used to dine by candle light
when you were, when you were together.
1022
00:54:59,443 --> 00:55:03,476
- Now if you just sit there Miss Barbara.
- Thank you nanny.
1023
00:55:05,193 --> 00:55:07,336
And you here Mr Patrick.
1024
00:55:08,708 --> 00:55:10,594
Everything's ready.
1025
00:55:13,527 --> 00:55:15,906
The wine is chilled.
1026
00:55:16,294 --> 00:55:20,081
Karen's gone out so you won't be disturbed.
1027
00:55:21,110 --> 00:55:23,110
(Soft music plays)
1028
00:55:25,654 --> 00:55:26,987
(Laughter)
1029
00:55:28,318 --> 00:55:31,652
- The bloody woman's matchmaking.
- And she hasn't missed a trick.
1030
00:55:31,652 --> 00:55:34,193
Oysters. She even made me change.
1031
00:55:34,193 --> 00:55:38,110
- I suppose I'm expected to give you that.
- Oh I never knew you cared.
1032
00:55:38,110 --> 00:55:40,985
If she thinks we're falling for
anything as blatant as this.
1033
00:55:40,985 --> 00:55:43,360
It's ridiculous. Still I wish Bill could see me now
1034
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,827
this really would make him jealous.
1035
00:55:44,852 --> 00:55:47,402
Don't say things like that. You know
what a violent temper he's got.
1036
00:55:47,402 --> 00:55:50,277
- He'll probably murder you.
- Exactly.
1037
00:55:50,277 --> 00:55:51,985
I mean what's he going to think
if he discovers you're here?
1038
00:55:51,985 --> 00:55:55,027
We'll he'd have to be pretty
nasty minded to think anything.
1039
00:55:55,027 --> 00:55:58,193
- Are good.
- Yes mind you Bill is pretty nasty minded.
1040
00:55:58,193 --> 00:56:01,262
All the same I don't like it. I mean
I don't want to break up his marriage.
1041
00:56:01,287 --> 00:56:04,277
- Why not he broke up yours?
- Yes that's very true.
1042
00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,735
- I'm sure he's got no reason to be jealous.
- Bill doesn't need a reason.
1043
00:56:07,735 --> 00:56:11,568
If he had his way I'd wear a chastity
belt to open the door to the milkman.
1044
00:56:11,568 --> 00:56:13,569
All the same I think.
1045
00:56:13,818 --> 00:56:15,443
Oh I say look at that.
1046
00:56:15,443 --> 00:56:17,152
Cupo de Grappa.
1047
00:56:17,152 --> 00:56:19,711
Do you remember when we first had that?
1048
00:56:19,736 --> 00:56:21,818
Is was at that tiny bistro just beside the venue.
1049
00:56:21,818 --> 00:56:24,965
And that little man playing his accordion.
1050
00:56:25,193 --> 00:56:28,068
You could see the moon shining
through the jasmine on the trellis.
1051
00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:31,291
The air was full of the scent of flowers.
1052
00:56:31,468 --> 00:56:34,721
I picked you a wild rose on the
way home. Do you remember?
1053
00:56:34,782 --> 00:56:37,490
You pricked yourself and got blood poisoning.
1054
00:56:37,633 --> 00:56:39,958
3 weeks in a Spanish hospital.
1055
00:56:40,902 --> 00:56:43,474
- I never did like that wine.
- Neither did I.
1056
00:56:43,499 --> 00:56:45,475
I'll get some Chablis.
1057
00:56:45,702 --> 00:56:46,902
(Soft music continues)
1058
00:56:50,193 --> 00:56:51,513
Hello nanny.
1059
00:56:51,902 --> 00:56:53,373
Oh Mr Mossman.
1060
00:56:53,902 --> 00:56:57,402
Where's Patrick? I must see Patrick.
1061
00:56:57,402 --> 00:56:58,795
Corks screw!
1062
00:57:00,860 --> 00:57:03,086
Are there he is.
1063
00:57:04,068 --> 00:57:06,038
- Hello Bill.
- Hello Patrick.
1064
00:57:06,063 --> 00:57:08,281
- Hello nanny.
- Hello Mr Patrick.
1065
00:57:08,527 --> 00:57:10,373
That'll be all nanny.
1066
00:57:10,693 --> 00:57:12,766
- She's left me.
- Who nanny?
1067
00:57:13,527 --> 00:57:15,777
- No, no Barbara.
- Barbara?
1068
00:57:15,777 --> 00:57:19,027
Barbara who? Oh Barbara left you.
1069
00:57:19,027 --> 00:57:21,533
She walked out, this morning.
1070
00:57:21,813 --> 00:57:25,527
- If it's another man I'll.
- Yes I'm sure you will.
1071
00:57:25,527 --> 00:57:27,676
- You don't know where she is then?
- No.
1072
00:57:27,701 --> 00:57:30,674
- Good I'll see you out.
- But I want to talk to you Patrick.
1073
00:57:30,721 --> 00:57:33,399
- I'll tell you what let's go upstairs.
- But why?
1074
00:57:33,424 --> 00:57:35,318
- Be quiet.
- I see.
1075
00:57:35,318 --> 00:57:37,546
We won't be overheard.
1076
00:57:40,735 --> 00:57:43,166
Here come in Bill. Come in.
1077
00:57:43,191 --> 00:57:47,164
- Now then why don't you sit down hey?
- Oh thank you Patrick.
1078
00:57:47,189 --> 00:57:50,049
- Glasses, glasses.
- Oh here they are Patrick.
1079
00:57:50,209 --> 00:57:52,568
Oh no, no for the wine old boy.
1080
00:57:52,668 --> 00:57:53,985
Oh silly me.
1081
00:57:53,985 --> 00:57:55,415
You see.
1082
00:57:56,485 --> 00:57:58,098
There, there.
1083
00:57:58,568 --> 00:58:01,594
There we are, now then you er,
1084
00:58:01,943 --> 00:58:06,318
you said, you said you wanted to talk to me did you?
1085
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:08,485
- I did?
- Hmm.
1086
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:09,860
What about?
1087
00:58:10,485 --> 00:58:14,193
- Well I don't know.
- Oh yes.
1088
00:58:14,193 --> 00:58:15,571
I remember.
1089
00:58:16,318 --> 00:58:21,070
- I thought, I thought you and I might go out tonight.
- To look for Barbara hey?
1090
00:58:21,095 --> 00:58:23,523
Barbara oh let her stew for a bit.
1091
00:58:23,548 --> 00:58:24,923
- Shush!
- Oh strow
1092
00:58:24,948 --> 00:58:26,528
Oh Strow
1093
00:58:27,902 --> 00:58:30,693
Now I thought you and
I might go out tonight,
1094
00:58:30,735 --> 00:58:33,527
you know pick up a couple of bits of stuff.
1095
00:58:33,527 --> 00:58:37,985
Well that's hardly the way for a
married man to behave you know.
1096
00:58:37,985 --> 00:58:40,235
- But you're not married!
- No but you are.
1097
00:58:40,235 --> 00:58:42,777
I mean think of Barbara our wife. Your wife.
1098
00:58:42,777 --> 00:58:46,183
Barbara oh lovely woman.
1099
00:58:46,566 --> 00:58:49,568
She's left me you know.
Woke up this morning.
1100
00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:52,358
- Probably gone off with another man.
- Oh come, come, come.
1101
00:58:52,383 --> 00:58:55,110
If I get ahold of him I'll ring his bloody neck.
1102
00:58:55,110 --> 00:58:58,485
- He could be quite a nice fellow you know.
- We'll I ring her bloody neck.
1103
00:58:58,485 --> 00:59:02,985
Barbara wouldn't do a thing like that
and I mean she's a one man woman.
1104
00:59:02,985 --> 00:59:04,652
Always was.
1105
00:59:04,652 --> 00:59:08,260
- How do you mean?
- Well I mean she's a one man woman to me
1106
00:59:08,285 --> 00:59:10,735
and now she's a one man woman to you.
1107
00:59:10,735 --> 00:59:13,051
But that's 2 men.
1108
00:59:13,610 --> 00:59:17,369
- Yes but only one at a time.
- Oh yes I see what you mean.
1109
00:59:17,394 --> 00:59:19,147
Oh Patrick, Patrick.
1110
00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:22,818
- There's a barmaid at the Jack and Tuppence.
- No, no not tonight I gotta
1111
00:59:23,474 --> 00:59:25,902
Bill, Bill look, listen.
1112
00:59:26,321 --> 00:59:27,887
(Bill squeals with delight)
1113
00:59:28,074 --> 00:59:29,127
Shush!
1114
00:59:29,152 --> 00:59:31,318
What are we whispering for?
1115
00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:34,318
- You see it isn't convenient.
- Not convenient?
1116
00:59:34,318 --> 00:59:37,846
- I've got an appointment you see.
- You mean got a bit of hey?
1117
00:59:37,871 --> 00:59:38,904
Yes.
1118
00:59:38,929 --> 00:59:39,943
(Laughs)
1119
00:59:39,943 --> 00:59:43,527
- What's she like?
- She's very like, you'd like her.
1120
00:59:43,527 --> 00:59:46,277
- Let's have a peak.
- No, no, no.
1121
00:59:46,302 --> 00:59:48,943
She hasn't got any, I mean she's all.
1122
00:59:49,598 --> 00:59:52,777
Old devil how about Friday hey?
1123
00:59:52,777 --> 00:59:56,372
- That's my usual night.
- Well if it's convenient I'll let you know.
1124
00:59:56,444 --> 00:59:57,923
(Bill laughs again)
1125
00:59:59,043 --> 01:00:02,027
Shall I give a tuppence, no I've got...
1126
01:00:05,777 --> 01:00:08,450
What you win this for hey? Wrestling!
1127
01:00:08,548 --> 01:00:10,631
(More laughter)
1128
01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:15,943
- Did I hear Bill's voice?
- You did.
1129
01:00:15,943 --> 01:00:18,318
Yes it was the yippee that gave him away.
1130
01:00:18,318 --> 01:00:20,519
- Did he know I was here?
- No he didn't
1131
01:00:20,544 --> 01:00:22,818
and I didn't tell him not
in the mood he was in.
1132
01:00:22,860 --> 01:00:25,777
- He was upset.
- Well let me put it this way.
1133
01:00:25,777 --> 01:00:28,985
I very much doubt if he'll sleep a wink tonight.
1134
01:00:28,985 --> 01:00:31,011
Barbara no Barbara don't.
1135
01:00:31,078 --> 01:00:32,238
(Chuckles)
1136
01:00:32,263 --> 01:00:34,485
No Barbara remember Bill.
1137
01:00:34,485 --> 01:00:36,152
Remember Georgie, Barbara.
1138
01:00:36,152 --> 01:00:38,693
Barbara dearie are.
1139
01:00:38,693 --> 01:00:40,806
H G really!
1140
01:00:42,211 --> 01:00:43,251
Oh!
1141
01:00:44,277 --> 01:00:48,048
I told you eat your bones in the garden.
1142
01:00:49,485 --> 01:00:51,971
Argh!
1143
01:00:51,996 --> 01:00:53,902
Oh dear.
1144
01:00:55,527 --> 01:00:58,948
I told H G not to eat his bones in the garden.
1145
01:00:58,973 --> 01:01:01,527
♪ Early one morning ♪
1146
01:01:01,568 --> 01:01:04,098
♪ Just as the sun was rising ♪
1147
01:01:04,151 --> 01:01:07,226
- Good morning.
- Morning.
1148
01:01:08,818 --> 01:01:11,418
Sleep well?
- So, so.
1149
01:01:12,302 --> 01:01:15,895
I didn't like the mattress
in Anna's room very much.
1150
01:01:17,402 --> 01:01:19,943
- What was that?
- Oh Barbara.
1151
01:01:20,183 --> 01:01:24,996
Mascutint the hair colorizer for the he man.
1152
01:01:25,110 --> 01:01:27,109
Doesn't seem to be working.
1153
01:01:27,735 --> 01:01:30,136
I've only just started drinking it.
1154
01:01:31,448 --> 01:01:33,309
Do you mind?
1155
01:01:33,902 --> 01:01:36,518
- What was wrong with the mattress anyway?
- Too hard.
1156
01:01:36,543 --> 01:01:39,402
Oh I thought you liked a hard mattress.
1157
01:01:39,402 --> 01:01:41,568
Always used to tell
(Barbara gargles)
1158
01:01:41,568 --> 01:01:44,775
Oh my god I'd forgotten about that gargle.
1159
01:01:45,735 --> 01:01:48,735
I used to like the mattress in
or old room it was nice and soft.
1160
01:01:48,735 --> 01:01:51,943
Yes I happen to be sleeping in that one.
1161
01:01:51,943 --> 01:01:55,963
- We could hardly share, could we?
- I don't see why not.
1162
01:01:56,221 --> 01:01:59,860
Wouldn't be the first time we'd slept
in a bed without any hanky panky.
1163
01:01:59,860 --> 01:02:05,045
Very possibly but you might have gained
a certain novelty appeal since those days.
1164
01:02:05,070 --> 01:02:09,193
- How'd you mean?
- I mean a man doesn't want beans for every meal.
1165
01:02:09,193 --> 01:02:11,193
But when he hasn't had them for 7 years.
1166
01:02:11,193 --> 01:02:12,148
Beans?
1167
01:02:12,173 --> 01:02:16,027
Well he may have had beans
but not that particular variety.
1168
01:02:16,027 --> 01:02:19,045
I've put, oh my god what the hell?
1169
01:02:19,070 --> 01:02:22,068
- Eau de Madam Bovary?
- It's mine.
1170
01:02:22,110 --> 01:02:23,938
Patrick I've been thinking.
1171
01:02:23,963 --> 01:02:26,652
- This girl that Anna's sharing her flat with?
- Yeah?
1172
01:02:26,677 --> 01:02:28,555
- What's she like?
- I don't know.
1173
01:02:28,580 --> 01:02:29,928
- Well you should.
- Should I?
1174
01:02:29,953 --> 01:02:32,499
- Yes so should I.
- Should you?
1175
01:02:32,524 --> 01:02:36,818
- I may have been just a little bit unreasonable.
- Oh surely not.
1176
01:02:36,818 --> 01:02:38,235
- No, no I was.
1177
01:02:38,235 --> 01:02:42,651
Now I think you ought to ask them both to
dinner and then we can see what she's like.
1178
01:02:42,676 --> 01:02:46,402
That's actually a good idea. I'll
give her a ring after breakfast.
1179
01:02:46,402 --> 01:02:49,277
After all you do amaze me, you know Barbara.
1180
01:02:49,277 --> 01:02:51,743
Sometimes you've good ideas.
1181
01:02:52,135 --> 01:02:55,110
- What are you doing?
- I'm not gonna get in the bath with my clothes on.
1182
01:02:55,110 --> 01:02:59,191
- You can't take your clothes off with me in here.
- But I haven't got anything you haven't seen before.
1183
01:02:59,216 --> 01:03:01,821
Yes but it's not mine anymore, is it?
1184
01:03:02,156 --> 01:03:03,568
I mean supposing Bill would.
1185
01:03:03,568 --> 01:03:06,402
No I don't like it. I don't like that at all.
1186
01:03:06,402 --> 01:03:09,527
I think the whole thing and I think you'd
better lock this door behind me too.
1187
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:15,068
- Are you alright daddy?
- Yes thank you.
1188
01:03:15,068 --> 01:03:20,068
Oh good job your readers can't see you now.
The image is taken a bit of a knocking.
1189
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:21,840
Well really!
1190
01:03:22,277 --> 01:03:24,693
But you must know who it is. Look at it.
1191
01:03:24,693 --> 01:03:26,290
To my own little darling.
1192
01:03:26,315 --> 01:03:29,818
For the 10th time I've never
seen it before. It's not mine.
1193
01:03:29,860 --> 01:03:32,360
I hope you're not suggesting it's mine.
1194
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,068
Look when I came in it was standing there!
1195
01:03:35,110 --> 01:03:38,626
The eyes following me around the room.
1196
01:03:38,724 --> 01:03:39,991
(Phone rings)
1197
01:03:43,010 --> 01:03:45,938
- Hello?
- Oh hello darling it's me.
1198
01:03:45,963 --> 01:03:48,777
- I beg your pardon?
- I was wondering.
1199
01:03:48,777 --> 01:03:51,571
Oh so sorry I think I must have the wrong number.
1200
01:03:51,596 --> 01:03:54,068
I wanted 436-2375.
1201
01:03:54,110 --> 01:03:56,277
- That's right this is it.
- It is?
1202
01:03:56,277 --> 01:03:59,880
- 23 Belsize Park Avenue. Ground floor flat.
- Yes.
1203
01:03:59,905 --> 01:04:01,985
- Who are you?
- Well never mind about me.
1204
01:04:01,985 --> 01:04:03,735
Who are you and what are you doing there?
1205
01:04:03,735 --> 01:04:05,745
Look I live here man.
1206
01:04:06,113 --> 01:04:07,193
What?
1207
01:04:08,273 --> 01:04:10,989
What do you want? Hello!
1208
01:04:11,714 --> 01:04:15,216
- Is something the matter Mr Patrick?
- There certainly is nanny
1209
01:04:15,787 --> 01:04:18,327
Anna's flatmate, it's a man!
1210
01:04:18,386 --> 01:04:20,318
Oh I can't believe it.
1211
01:04:20,318 --> 01:04:23,568
Perhaps it was a girl with
a deep masculine voice.
1212
01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:27,652
No, no, no it wasn't nanny.
I wouldn't have minded that.
1213
01:04:27,652 --> 01:04:28,818
Yes I would.
1214
01:04:28,818 --> 01:04:31,661
Nanny I've got to do something about this.
1215
01:04:32,808 --> 01:04:35,693
A man rings up, right
number, right address.
1216
01:04:35,693 --> 01:04:37,253
Says hello darling it's me.
1217
01:04:37,278 --> 01:04:40,221
As soon as I answer the phone he
rings off. I'm not a fool you know.
1218
01:04:40,246 --> 01:04:43,152
I've told you a dozen times I don't know.
1219
01:04:43,152 --> 01:04:45,068
Was it him? Was it?
1220
01:04:45,068 --> 01:04:48,061
How should I know who it was.
You answered the phone.
1221
01:04:53,777 --> 01:04:56,985
- What does he got that I haven't got?
- Oh get back to your wood pile.
1222
01:04:56,985 --> 01:04:59,068
- Don't change the subject.
- You are impossible.
1223
01:04:59,068 --> 01:05:02,376
You can believe what you like.
I'm going to have a bath.
1224
01:05:05,039 --> 01:05:08,943
Look why is it every time we have
an argument, you have to have a bath?
1225
01:05:08,943 --> 01:05:10,603
(Doorbell buzzes)
1226
01:05:14,318 --> 01:05:16,568
- Yes?
- Oh good morning.
1227
01:05:16,568 --> 01:05:19,402
- Are you the caretaker or do you just work here?
- Neither.
1228
01:05:19,443 --> 01:05:21,671
I wonder if I could come in for a moment please.
1229
01:05:21,696 --> 01:05:23,623
Wait a minute.
1230
01:05:24,504 --> 01:05:26,818
- It's you?
- Yes that's right.
1231
01:05:26,818 --> 01:05:30,277
It's quite a good one of me but I
have had better ones taken though.
1232
01:05:30,277 --> 01:05:33,277
I wonder if you'd be good enough to call
the owner I have a few words to say to him.
1233
01:05:33,277 --> 01:05:35,818
- I am the owner.
- You live here?
1234
01:05:35,818 --> 01:05:37,985
- Yes.
- It was you one the telephone.
1235
01:05:37,985 --> 01:05:38,985
Yes.
1236
01:05:38,985 --> 01:05:41,402
Well that puts a different
colour on the whole affair.
1237
01:05:41,402 --> 01:05:42,652
Where is she?
1238
01:05:42,652 --> 01:05:44,780
Having a bath if it's any of your business.
1239
01:05:44,805 --> 01:05:46,901
It is I've come to take her away.
1240
01:05:46,926 --> 01:05:49,193
Have you, how would you like a fat lip?
1241
01:05:49,193 --> 01:05:52,568
Now look here young man. I don't know
how they behave where you come from.
1242
01:05:52,610 --> 01:05:54,860
Hammersmith same as here.
1243
01:05:54,860 --> 01:05:57,275
Don't prevaricate. She's
coming back to live with me.
1244
01:05:57,300 --> 01:05:59,715
Coming back and live with you. You dirty old man!
1245
01:05:59,740 --> 01:06:02,693
- I beg your pardon?
- You're old enough to be her father.
1246
01:06:02,693 --> 01:06:05,360
- I am her father.
- You're her father?
1247
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,818
- Yes.
- That means she's your daughter.
1248
01:06:07,818 --> 01:06:10,564
I congratulate you on
your powers of deduction.
1249
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:13,013
Oy!
1250
01:06:13,110 --> 01:06:16,026
I didn't know you had a touch
of the white wash brush.
1251
01:06:17,940 --> 01:06:20,568
Oh I'm sorry please. We haven't really met.
1252
01:06:20,568 --> 01:06:22,926
- I'm Larry.
- How'd you do I'm Patrick.
1253
01:06:22,951 --> 01:06:26,360
- Now will you please stick to the point.
- Well forgive me
1254
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,186
but you must admit you don't look like a banana loader.
1255
01:06:28,213 --> 01:06:30,221
- Is there any reason why I should?
- I suppose not.
1256
01:06:30,246 --> 01:06:31,485
Then why mention it?
1257
01:06:31,485 --> 01:06:34,693
The point is you are living here in this
flat with my daughter and it's got to stop.
1258
01:06:34,693 --> 01:06:36,485
- Why?
- Because it is wrong.
1259
01:06:36,485 --> 01:06:39,471
- But we're married.
- That is the most feeble ex...
1260
01:06:39,985 --> 01:06:40,985
Married?
1261
01:06:40,985 --> 01:06:44,860
Yes you know, vicar, confetti,
organ, dum dum dee dum.
1262
01:06:44,860 --> 01:06:49,193
- Yes I do know the ritual.
- You couldn't come because you're in jail in Jamaica.
1263
01:06:49,193 --> 01:06:51,985
- She told you that?
- Yes rum smuggling or something.
1264
01:06:51,985 --> 01:06:54,943
My god come out of there young lady.
1265
01:06:54,943 --> 01:06:56,318
You've got some explaining to do.
1266
01:06:56,318 --> 01:07:00,110
Oh please we've got to get to
know each other, haven't we dad?
1267
01:07:00,110 --> 01:07:01,501
Dad oh my god.
1268
01:07:01,526 --> 01:07:03,777
Come out of there at once. Do you hear me?
1269
01:07:03,777 --> 01:07:07,443
Now look here a good smack on your
bottom will do. Why I do beg your pardon.
1270
01:07:07,443 --> 01:07:10,585
- Is there someone else in there with you?
- No!
1271
01:07:10,610 --> 01:07:13,735
- Wait a minute you're the man in the photograph.
- Yes, yes.
1272
01:07:13,735 --> 01:07:16,550
- Well aren't you pleased to see him?
- Pleased to see him?
1273
01:07:16,575 --> 01:07:18,548
- What have you been telling him?
- Nothing.
1274
01:07:18,573 --> 01:07:20,693
- You said she was your daughter.
- She's not my daughter.
1275
01:07:20,693 --> 01:07:23,485
- And he's not my father.
- Are you sure?
1276
01:07:23,485 --> 01:07:25,318
- Well I should know.
- She should know.
1277
01:07:25,318 --> 01:07:27,902
- He's twice my father's age.
- Exactly.
1278
01:07:27,902 --> 01:07:29,777
- I beg you're pardon?
- And look at the colour of him.
1279
01:07:29,777 --> 01:07:30,842
- How dare you.
1280
01:07:30,867 --> 01:07:32,360
- You dirty old man.
1281
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,318
No look you've got the wrong end
of the stick. I just wanted a woman.
1282
01:07:35,318 --> 01:07:36,318
- What?
- No, no, no.
1283
01:07:36,318 --> 01:07:38,110
I thought that'd be a girl
here who could help me.
1284
01:07:38,110 --> 01:07:40,527
Oh no you've got it all wrong.
1285
01:07:40,527 --> 01:07:42,777
You see I, I just made a simple mistake.
1286
01:07:42,777 --> 01:07:44,652
- It often happens.
- Daddy.
1287
01:07:44,652 --> 01:07:46,527
I think there's something you should know.
1288
01:07:46,527 --> 01:07:49,707
There you are you see. Wrong flat.
1289
01:07:52,406 --> 01:07:54,432
Could I have my photograph back?
1290
01:07:57,068 --> 01:07:58,821
(Birds chirping)
1291
01:08:18,429 --> 01:08:21,360
So much for your brief fling of independence.
1292
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:23,273
- Belt up.
- Yeah that's enough.
1293
01:08:23,306 --> 01:08:24,813
That's enough.
1294
01:08:25,686 --> 01:08:27,693
Help take these things indoors
1295
01:08:27,693 --> 01:08:29,110
and as for you young lady.
1296
01:08:29,110 --> 01:08:31,610
- Oh daddy it's great to be home.
- What?
1297
01:08:31,610 --> 01:08:33,812
I didn't like white washed sausages anyway.
1298
01:08:34,144 --> 01:08:35,246
Oh.
1299
01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:39,709
Still think he ought to have given
me my photograph back though.
1300
01:08:41,068 --> 01:08:42,985
Well she's home for good now nanny.
1301
01:08:42,985 --> 01:08:45,352
- What a day I've had.
- You've got a visitor.
1302
01:08:45,377 --> 01:08:46,431
Oh.
1303
01:08:47,585 --> 01:08:50,818
- Hello Patrick.
- Bill good grief.
1304
01:08:50,843 --> 01:08:52,818
Ha hah hello.
1305
01:08:52,818 --> 01:08:54,281
- Where's?
- Out shopping.
1306
01:08:54,306 --> 01:08:57,108
Our nanny's just going out shopping.
1307
01:08:58,193 --> 01:09:01,068
Well, well, did you have a good time last night?
1308
01:09:01,068 --> 01:09:02,985
- Yes did you?
- Lovely, lovely.
1309
01:09:02,985 --> 01:09:04,443
Was she?
1310
01:09:04,485 --> 01:09:05,277
(Laughs)
1311
01:09:05,318 --> 01:09:06,373
Well done old chap.
1312
01:09:06,398 --> 01:09:10,610
Anyhow I got to talking to this
barmaid and the Jack and Tuppence.
1313
01:09:10,610 --> 01:09:13,235
- Just over 40, I should think.
- 40!
1314
01:09:13,260 --> 01:09:15,076
- If she was an inch.
- Oh!
1315
01:09:15,101 --> 01:09:18,664
- The thing is there were 2 of them.
- Well there would be, wouldn't there...
1316
01:09:18,689 --> 01:09:20,752
- No, no 2 women.
- Oh!
1317
01:09:20,777 --> 01:09:25,610
She's got a friend now Patrick. I thought you
and I tonight might make up a foursome hey?
1318
01:09:25,610 --> 01:09:28,735
I do really think you ought
to give the girls. Oh it's you.
1319
01:09:28,735 --> 01:09:30,527
- Barbara!
- Yes it's Barbara.
1320
01:09:30,527 --> 01:09:33,402
Barbara is Barbara. She was just passing.
1321
01:09:33,402 --> 01:09:37,110
- Well what have you got to say for yourself?
- He's been saying how much he misses you.
1322
01:09:37,110 --> 01:09:39,693
- Has he?
- Yes and Barbara misses you too Bill.
1323
01:09:39,693 --> 01:09:41,527
She said to her last night.
1324
01:09:41,527 --> 01:09:43,443
- Last night?
- Yes.
1325
01:09:43,443 --> 01:09:45,535
- So she was your appointment.
- Yes.
1326
01:09:45,560 --> 01:09:47,593
- With nothing on.
- Oh no, no.
1327
01:09:47,618 --> 01:09:49,985
Are you trying to tell me that
you slept with Barbara last night?
1328
01:09:49,985 --> 01:09:51,235
Yes I mean no.
1329
01:09:51,235 --> 01:09:53,735
- You mean she was here but you didn't sleep?
- Yes.
1330
01:09:53,735 --> 01:09:56,485
No I mean no. Bill you wouldn't hit
a man who can't find his glasses?
1331
01:09:56,485 --> 01:09:59,277
- Don't be silly you two.
- Nothing absolutely nothing happened.
1332
01:09:59,277 --> 01:10:02,818
I don't believe it Barbara is a highly
desirable woman whom I happen to love.
1333
01:10:02,818 --> 01:10:04,358
- Oh Bill.
- Shut up!
1334
01:10:04,383 --> 01:10:06,193
And you tell me that nothing happened.
1335
01:10:06,193 --> 01:10:08,110
No Bill I should warn you I'm not afraid to scream.
1336
01:10:08,110 --> 01:10:09,693
Will you stop chasing me around?
1337
01:10:09,693 --> 01:10:12,318
Now look here, now look here I
don't want to come between you two.
1338
01:10:12,318 --> 01:10:14,277
I mean I think you're ideally suited.
1339
01:10:14,318 --> 01:10:16,948
I know that you're, I know
that you both got your faults.
1340
01:10:16,973 --> 01:10:19,137
- And what exactly do you mean by that?
- What do you mean by that?
1341
01:10:19,162 --> 01:10:23,148
Well about Barbara she's untidy and extravagant.
Bill he's got a violent temper and the morals of a cat.
1342
01:10:23,173 --> 01:10:25,402
How dare you criticise my husband like that.
1343
01:10:25,402 --> 01:10:28,485
He may be a lecherous good
for nothing but he means well.
1344
01:10:28,485 --> 01:10:29,540
Thank you dear
1345
01:10:29,565 --> 01:10:33,110
and what do you mean Barbara
is an untidy slut, so what?
1346
01:10:33,135 --> 01:10:34,828
- It's no concern of yours.
- None at all.
1347
01:10:34,853 --> 01:10:37,482
- You keep your nose out of our affairs.
- I quite agree.
1348
01:10:37,507 --> 01:10:39,459
Come and help me pack.
1349
01:10:40,402 --> 01:10:44,568
- And you mind your own damn business.
- I quite agree.
1350
01:10:45,067 --> 01:10:47,113
Yes er
1351
01:10:47,693 --> 01:10:50,610
Well I'm glad I managed to sort that out nanny.
1352
01:10:50,610 --> 01:10:51,985
Are well.
1353
01:10:52,010 --> 01:10:55,510
You know these last 2 days have
reminded me of what married life is like
1354
01:10:55,676 --> 01:10:58,608
and now I see what it's
like, I thank God I'm single.
1355
01:10:58,633 --> 01:10:59,946
(Phone rings)
1356
01:10:59,971 --> 01:11:01,735
- Hello?
- Patrick.
1357
01:11:01,735 --> 01:11:03,568
- I've come to a decision.
- You have?
1358
01:11:03,568 --> 01:11:05,741
I've decided I will marry you.
1359
01:11:05,888 --> 01:11:08,360
- Your will?
- Well that's what you want, isn't it?
1360
01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:12,193
- Yes.
- Mind you, you have advantage over me.
1361
01:11:12,193 --> 01:11:16,163
- Have I?
- You know what married life is like.
1362
01:11:18,752 --> 01:11:21,779
- Thanks for keeping my bed warm mummy.
- My pleasure darling.
1363
01:11:21,804 --> 01:11:24,498
- Anybody doing anything on the 24th?
- Why?
1364
01:11:24,523 --> 01:11:27,723
Nothing I'm getting married that's all.
1365
01:11:27,943 --> 01:11:29,325
Married! (In unison)
1366
01:11:29,350 --> 01:11:30,767
Sorry.
1367
01:11:31,426 --> 01:11:32,506
Richard.
1368
01:11:32,644 --> 01:11:36,204
- 24th?
- I think you'll find it's next Saturday.
1369
01:11:36,402 --> 01:11:41,652
Yes I might just be able to after
Mr Robinson and Miss Peeles.
1370
01:11:41,652 --> 01:11:45,198
- The happiest day of their lives too.
- Not all together.
1371
01:11:45,223 --> 01:11:46,945
I'm burying them.
1372
01:11:47,318 --> 01:11:49,943
So you want me to marry you?
1373
01:11:49,943 --> 01:11:51,218
To him that is.
1374
01:11:51,309 --> 01:11:52,369
(Giggles)
1375
01:11:54,030 --> 01:11:57,738
You see we were wondering whether
the divorce would present any problems.
1376
01:11:57,818 --> 01:11:59,860
Let's get you married first.
1377
01:11:59,860 --> 01:12:03,193
No, no I was married to another woman.
1378
01:12:03,193 --> 01:12:05,902
- You remember?
- Oh yeah.
1379
01:12:06,002 --> 01:12:07,995
Tricky, tricky.
1380
01:12:08,235 --> 01:12:12,610
The powers that be do not approve of
divorced people being remarried in church.
1381
01:12:12,610 --> 01:12:15,244
- Oh.
- Well it'll have to be a registry office then.
1382
01:12:15,269 --> 01:12:19,339
I'm sorry I did once write a
sermon on this very subject.
1383
01:12:19,364 --> 01:12:21,581
Perhaps as a writer you'd like to see it?
1384
01:12:21,606 --> 01:12:26,818
Oh well it's hardly my field actually. But
actually Miss Thompson here might be interested.
1385
01:12:26,860 --> 01:12:29,131
She's a literary agent.
1386
01:12:29,474 --> 01:12:31,858
A literary agent!
1387
01:12:32,318 --> 01:12:38,027
I should explain that it is up to the bishop
to approve of a divorcee remarried in church.
1388
01:12:38,027 --> 01:12:40,277
But our bishop is very accommodating.
1389
01:12:40,277 --> 01:12:45,318
Now I have inside some collected sermons
of mine which should make a best seller.
1390
01:12:45,318 --> 01:12:49,814
The God Father's done very well,
so it shows religion is on the up and up.
1391
01:12:49,839 --> 01:12:52,085
Now I have assembled them separately...
1392
01:12:55,735 --> 01:12:58,195
It's going to be a very quiet, small wedding nanny.
1393
01:12:58,220 --> 01:12:59,492
Very small.
1394
01:12:59,517 --> 01:13:03,318
- In fact I doubt I shall even be there myself.
- Oh Mr Patrick.
1395
01:13:03,318 --> 01:13:08,068
Well I mean 11 o'clock in the morning the whole ceremony will be drowned by the dawn chorus.
1396
01:13:08,068 --> 01:13:11,235
I'm not surprised half the guests said
they could only come to the reception.
1397
01:13:11,235 --> 01:13:15,318
However let's see mother she'll be in
the church and so will Bill and Barbara.
1398
01:13:15,318 --> 01:13:17,634
- Phillip oh he won't be there.
- Oh dear.
1399
01:13:17,659 --> 01:13:19,527
Uncle, oh Georgie's Uncle
Arthur he'll be there.
1400
01:13:19,527 --> 01:13:22,116
- Yes he's giving her away.
- Oh that's a lovely ring.
1401
01:13:22,141 --> 01:13:25,818
Yes it is nice isn't it nanny.
Georgie chose it herself of course.
1402
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,360
She's got a very small. Oh hell I've got it stuck.
1403
01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:33,226
- I think I'll wear these for the wedding tomorrow.
- That would be lovely darling.
1404
01:13:34,184 --> 01:13:36,360
- Nanny!
- Oh I'm sorry Mr Patrick
1405
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:37,735
I'll get some butter.
1406
01:13:37,735 --> 01:13:40,568
It's all very exciting I wasn't at your first wedding.
1407
01:13:40,610 --> 01:13:43,360
Of course you weren't. You
weren't even born darling.
1408
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:46,120
- Were you? No, no, no of course you weren't.
- Daddy.
1409
01:13:46,145 --> 01:13:48,693
That dog next door has wee wees on the...
1410
01:13:48,693 --> 01:13:50,777
Karen now I'm glad your here.
1411
01:13:50,802 --> 01:13:53,610
Look I want a word with you
two girls. Will you sit down?
1412
01:13:53,610 --> 01:13:58,818
Now look when Georgie comes to live here
I want you to look upon her as your mother.
1413
01:13:58,818 --> 01:14:01,735
- We've already got a mother.
- Well you can have another one living in.
1414
01:14:01,735 --> 01:14:04,360
- Here we are.
- Are thank you nanny.
1415
01:14:04,360 --> 01:14:06,453
- It's unsalted.
- Oh good nanny.
1416
01:14:06,478 --> 01:14:08,934
I'm glad about that. That'll make
all the difference in the world.
1417
01:14:08,959 --> 01:14:10,902
Well I think the whole thing's unfair.
1418
01:14:10,902 --> 01:14:13,658
If you're not too old to get
married and I'm not too young.
1419
01:14:13,683 --> 01:14:15,860
Karen. Nanny that hurts.
1420
01:14:15,860 --> 01:14:18,068
I'm 17 and Richard's 22.
1421
01:14:18,068 --> 01:14:21,152
So together that makes
us nearly 40, as old as you.
1422
01:14:21,152 --> 01:14:22,746
Flattery will get you nowhere.
1423
01:14:22,780 --> 01:14:23,718
Woh!
1424
01:14:23,743 --> 01:14:24,833
Butter fingers.
1425
01:14:24,858 --> 01:14:26,199
(Laughs loudly)
1426
01:14:26,224 --> 01:14:27,277
Butter fingers.
1427
01:14:27,277 --> 01:14:30,777
I'll be a shrivelled old spinster and
you'll be plunging in for the 2nd time.
1428
01:14:30,777 --> 01:14:34,943
Plunging in you don't imagine I
want to get married again do you?
1429
01:14:34,943 --> 01:14:36,443
I'm only doing it for your sakes.
1430
01:14:36,443 --> 01:14:37,485
- Us?
- Us?
1431
01:14:37,485 --> 01:14:39,193
- Yes us, you's.
1432
01:14:39,193 --> 01:14:40,168
You.
1433
01:14:40,193 --> 01:14:44,110
I see so you don't love Georgie. You never have.
1434
01:14:44,110 --> 01:14:46,568
- Oh yes I have.
- I'll put the kettle on.
1435
01:14:46,568 --> 01:14:49,438
I'm very fond of Georgie I always have been.
1436
01:14:49,463 --> 01:14:52,568
- She's a brick.
- You can't marry a brick.
1437
01:14:52,568 --> 01:14:55,193
Poor Georgie you're just using her.
1438
01:14:55,193 --> 01:14:56,610
It, it's immoral.
1439
01:14:56,610 --> 01:14:58,485
- Now Karen.
- Well I don't approve.
1440
01:14:58,485 --> 01:15:00,818
Oh I see so you don't approve young lady.
1441
01:15:00,818 --> 01:15:01,943
Well that's very interesting isn't it?
1442
01:15:01,943 --> 01:15:03,443
Yes very interesting
1443
01:15:03,443 --> 01:15:06,735
and what exactly do you intend to do about it?
1444
01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:09,756
I got it stuck again. Nanny more butter!
1445
01:15:09,861 --> 01:15:11,495
(Romantic music)
1446
01:15:22,488 --> 01:15:23,508
Karen?
1447
01:15:25,068 --> 01:15:27,415
- Karen?
- Richard.
1448
01:15:28,741 --> 01:15:30,985
Not that room it's daddy's.
1449
01:15:31,254 --> 01:15:32,867
(More romantic music)
1450
01:15:37,657 --> 01:15:39,816
Richard be quiet.
1451
01:15:40,193 --> 01:15:41,683
Be quick.
1452
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:03,277
Why couldn't you have walked out
the front door like everybody else?
1453
01:16:03,277 --> 01:16:05,580
Oh don't be so unromantic.
1454
01:16:07,768 --> 01:16:08,861
Careful.
1455
01:16:09,167 --> 01:16:11,040
(Romantic music continues)
1456
01:16:17,512 --> 01:16:20,418
Be careful, careful. Don't look down.
1457
01:16:20,881 --> 01:16:22,967
Couldn't you have climbed
out the ground floor window?
1458
01:16:22,992 --> 01:16:24,585
Oh stop moaning.
1459
01:16:24,610 --> 01:16:27,096
- Do you love me or don't you?
- Of course I do.
1460
01:16:27,121 --> 01:16:29,985
- Well show it then.
- I'm halfway up a ladder.
1461
01:16:29,985 --> 01:16:32,628
Karen, Karen I can't see.
1462
01:16:33,110 --> 01:16:34,924
Oh be quiet.
1463
01:16:36,496 --> 01:16:37,602
(Yelps)
1464
01:16:37,627 --> 01:16:40,600
Oh Richard do be quiet.
1465
01:17:04,147 --> 01:17:06,401
Oh not now.
1466
01:17:06,527 --> 01:17:10,168
You're right. Well Gretna Green here we come.
1467
01:17:10,521 --> 01:17:12,668
(Starter motor turns)
1468
01:17:17,368 --> 01:17:19,443
Must, must be the clutch or something.
1469
01:17:19,728 --> 01:17:21,448
(Engine fails to fire)
1470
01:17:22,068 --> 01:17:23,741
Open up the bonnet.
1471
01:17:35,641 --> 01:17:36,902
Try it now.
1472
01:17:36,968 --> 01:17:39,154
(Engine turns but fails to fire)
1473
01:18:05,162 --> 01:18:07,329
- Try it now.
- Huh?
1474
01:18:07,709 --> 01:18:08,948
- Try it now.
1475
01:18:09,652 --> 01:18:11,277
(Engine still won't fire)
1476
01:18:11,277 --> 01:18:13,193
Turn it off, turn it off.
1477
01:18:13,193 --> 01:18:15,167
- What are you doing young man?
- Oh er
1478
01:18:15,192 --> 01:18:18,093
I'm, the car won't start sir.
1479
01:18:18,152 --> 01:18:21,386
- Good morning.
- Just a minute I'm coming down.
1480
01:18:23,427 --> 01:18:26,818
- He said he's coming down.
- Get rid of the ladder!
1481
01:18:35,237 --> 01:18:38,403
Not that side daddy'll see it.
1482
01:18:49,483 --> 01:18:51,149
(Groans)
1483
01:18:56,116 --> 01:18:57,503
Get down.
1484
01:19:03,043 --> 01:19:05,668
Do you know what the time is?
1485
01:19:05,693 --> 01:19:07,568
Er 10 to 7 sir.
1486
01:19:07,568 --> 01:19:08,818
AM.
1487
01:19:08,818 --> 01:19:10,777
Thank you very much Richard.
1488
01:19:10,777 --> 01:19:14,235
May I ask what are you doing here at 10 to 7AM?
1489
01:19:14,235 --> 01:19:19,152
Well you know I was passing by and I
thought I'd pop in to see to see Karen
1490
01:19:19,299 --> 01:19:22,125
and I realised it's far too early so er
1491
01:19:22,418 --> 01:19:23,426
I'll go.
1492
01:19:23,451 --> 01:19:25,485
That's the first sensible thing I've heard you say.
1493
01:19:25,485 --> 01:19:26,735
- Thank you very much sir.
- Don't mention it.
1494
01:19:26,735 --> 01:19:29,443
- But the engine won't start sir.
- Hmm?
1495
01:19:29,443 --> 01:19:30,836
Well no wonder.
1496
01:19:30,861 --> 01:19:34,610
The high tension lead from the
distributors come adrift at the coil.
1497
01:19:34,891 --> 01:19:36,024
Right.
1498
01:19:36,610 --> 01:19:39,849
Here look that should be there like that.
1499
01:19:39,874 --> 01:19:42,880
- Now, now try it now.
- Thank you very much sir.
1500
01:19:44,411 --> 01:19:45,533
Sorry.
1501
01:19:46,918 --> 01:19:48,365
(Engine fires up)
1502
01:19:48,931 --> 01:19:52,078
That's fantastic, that's fantastic sir.
1503
01:19:54,777 --> 01:19:56,737
You're a mechanical genius sir.
1504
01:19:56,762 --> 01:20:00,777
Look next time you're passing try
and make it a little later will you?
1505
01:20:00,777 --> 01:20:03,297
- Yes sir, thank you sir.
- There.
1506
01:20:07,413 --> 01:20:08,818
(Milk bottle shatters)
1507
01:20:08,818 --> 01:20:10,613
Morning milkman.
1508
01:20:10,860 --> 01:20:12,558
Got another rung up the ladder?
1509
01:20:12,583 --> 01:20:13,723
(Laughs)
1510
01:20:19,693 --> 01:20:22,485
Nanny, nanny cufflinks where are my cufflinks?
1511
01:20:22,485 --> 01:20:27,224
- They're in your cuffs Mr Patrick.
- What a damn silly place to put cufflinks.
1512
01:20:27,530 --> 01:20:29,610
- Hello dear.
- Oh mother darling.
1513
01:20:29,610 --> 01:20:31,277
Oh so you got the train alright did you?
1514
01:20:31,277 --> 01:20:36,191
Yes dear but I shall have to
complaint to the railway company.
1515
01:20:36,216 --> 01:20:37,568
Oh really why?
1516
01:20:37,610 --> 01:20:43,110
I booked a seat facing the engine and
when I got to the station there wasn't one.
1517
01:20:43,110 --> 01:20:45,443
- No seat?
- No engine.
1518
01:20:45,443 --> 01:20:46,443
Oh.
1519
01:20:46,443 --> 01:20:48,652
Nanny would you go and chase Karen up?
1520
01:20:48,652 --> 01:20:50,943
If I know anything about her
she's probably still in bed.
1521
01:20:50,990 --> 01:20:54,371
- Hello granny.
- Oh my darling.
1522
01:20:55,376 --> 01:20:59,831
I don't know what you were so worried
about Patrick. It looks very nice.
1523
01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:02,432
- Oh what does mother?
- Your teepee.
1524
01:21:02,457 --> 01:21:03,842
Yes, yes
1525
01:21:04,277 --> 01:21:06,235
See who that is will you darling?
1526
01:21:06,235 --> 01:21:07,355
Well.
1527
01:21:07,380 --> 01:21:08,640
I'll get it nan.
1528
01:21:08,665 --> 01:21:11,323
You'd better put this with
the other presents dear.
1529
01:21:11,348 --> 01:21:14,408
- It's a family heirloom.
- Mother you shouldn't have.
1530
01:21:14,433 --> 01:21:15,568
What is it?
1531
01:21:15,568 --> 01:21:16,818
(Cuckoo clock cuckoos)
1532
01:21:16,818 --> 01:21:19,152
Don't bother I think I can guess.
1533
01:21:19,152 --> 01:21:22,110
Oh you know Bill and Barbara of course.
1534
01:21:22,110 --> 01:21:24,548
- Hello.
- I'm so glad you could make it.
1535
01:21:24,573 --> 01:21:27,764
Oh I didn't make it. It's a family heirloom.
1536
01:21:27,789 --> 01:21:29,318
- No the, the.
- Oh.
1537
01:21:29,318 --> 01:21:34,277
- I'll go and put it with the others.
- I'm afraid the minute hand is rather fast.
1538
01:21:34,277 --> 01:21:37,568
But it doesn't matter because
the hour hand is rather slow.
1539
01:21:37,568 --> 01:21:39,068
Well that's a bit of luck.
1540
01:21:39,068 --> 01:21:42,235
Patrick I do hope this outfit's alright.
1541
01:21:42,235 --> 01:21:45,277
I mean I was sure that Georgie
wouldn't be wearing white.
1542
01:21:45,277 --> 01:21:47,572
- Barbara.
- I think you look super mummy.
1543
01:21:47,597 --> 01:21:48,610
Thank you darling.
1544
01:21:48,610 --> 01:21:51,558
- Let me have the ring after all I am the best man.
- There we are.
1545
01:21:51,583 --> 01:21:54,476
- It's got butter on it.
- Don't be silly darling.
1546
01:21:54,501 --> 01:21:55,562
Unsalted.
1547
01:21:56,213 --> 01:21:58,777
Oh Mr Patrick, Mr Patrick Karen isn't in her room
1548
01:21:58,777 --> 01:22:00,360
and she left a note.
1549
01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:01,475
Note?
1550
01:22:04,033 --> 01:22:08,068
Oh my god Karen and her boyfriend,
they've eloped to Gretna Green.
1551
01:22:08,068 --> 01:22:09,568
- What?
- Eloped?
1552
01:22:09,568 --> 01:22:12,213
And I helped him start the car!
1553
01:22:15,884 --> 01:22:17,764
Try it now.
1554
01:22:19,311 --> 01:22:21,077
(Starter motor whirrs)
1555
01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:24,703
- I don't know what it could be.
- Oh well try the carburettor.
1556
01:22:24,728 --> 01:22:25,954
Right.
1557
01:22:27,193 --> 01:22:29,485
Sorry which of it is the carburettor?
1558
01:22:29,485 --> 01:22:32,387
Oh brother. Some elopement.
1559
01:22:32,412 --> 01:22:34,652
3 hours and we've only come half a mile.
1560
01:22:34,652 --> 01:22:36,068
I'm starving.
1561
01:22:36,068 --> 01:22:37,277
Well it's not my fault, is it?
1562
01:22:37,277 --> 01:22:40,790
By the time we get to get to Gretna
Green I'll be over 18 anyway.
1563
01:22:44,152 --> 01:22:47,860
- One's come home now the other one's gone.
- My poor little girl.
1564
01:22:47,860 --> 01:22:50,818
She's out there somewhere lost in the snow.
1565
01:22:50,818 --> 01:22:54,360
- But it's not snowing.
- At a time like this you give me weather reports.
1566
01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:56,011
Oh my baby.
1567
01:22:56,688 --> 01:22:59,485
I remember the first word she ever uttered.
1568
01:22:59,485 --> 01:23:01,610
She came toddling through that door.
1569
01:23:01,610 --> 01:23:06,330
Her chubby little arms outstretched
and she said Dada, dada.
1570
01:23:06,402 --> 01:23:08,652
- To the milkman.
- It's all your fault.
1571
01:23:08,652 --> 01:23:10,152
You must've driven her to this.
1572
01:23:10,152 --> 01:23:12,918
I haven't done a thing I may
have just wagged a finger.
1573
01:23:12,943 --> 01:23:15,152
- You brute.
- Barbara now look here.
1574
01:23:15,152 --> 01:23:17,693
I am her father too you
know. Half of her is mine.
1575
01:23:17,693 --> 01:23:20,610
- But you've lost my half as well.
- She has eloped.
1576
01:23:20,610 --> 01:23:22,175
To Golder's Green.
1577
01:23:22,860 --> 01:23:25,221
-I've got the automobile association for you Patrick.
1578
01:23:25,246 --> 01:23:27,559
Thank you Sandwich
1579
01:23:27,860 --> 01:23:29,008
Hello AA.
1580
01:23:29,033 --> 01:23:33,527
Look I want you to put up road
blocks on the A1, the M1, the A6.
1581
01:23:33,527 --> 01:23:34,527
What?.
1582
01:23:34,527 --> 01:23:38,152
Well blackboards then every half
mile with a message written on it.
1583
01:23:38,152 --> 01:23:40,193
Have you got a pencil?
1584
01:23:40,193 --> 01:23:41,568
No that's not the message.
1585
01:23:41,568 --> 01:23:44,027
The message is Karen come home.
1586
01:23:44,027 --> 01:23:46,485
All is forgiven, father.
1587
01:23:46,485 --> 01:23:48,068
Every half mile.
1588
01:23:48,068 --> 01:23:49,402
What?
1589
01:23:49,402 --> 01:23:53,152
No, no I'm not a member I
resigned when you stopped saluting.
1590
01:23:53,152 --> 01:23:54,693
Hello, hello!
1591
01:23:54,693 --> 01:23:56,027
Well really.
1592
01:23:56,027 --> 01:23:59,100
I'll just go and see if Georgie's arrived.
1593
01:23:59,125 --> 01:24:01,693
What am I gonna do about Karen I'm so worried.
1594
01:24:01,693 --> 01:24:03,818
I telephoned the police, the fire brigade.
1595
01:24:03,818 --> 01:24:06,318
- What you think she might be on fire?
- The Scottish Embassy.
1596
01:24:06,318 --> 01:24:08,902
That's it I'll telephone them.
1597
01:24:08,902 --> 01:24:11,402
Well, well the return of the prodigal twit.
1598
01:24:11,402 --> 01:24:12,360
What happened?
1599
01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:14,818
Oh don't ask. Has daddy found my note yet?
1600
01:24:14,818 --> 01:24:15,818
Yes.
1601
01:24:15,818 --> 01:24:16,818
I'd better go and tell him you're back.
1602
01:24:16,818 --> 01:24:18,818
He'll beat the living daylights out of you.
1603
01:24:18,818 --> 01:24:21,110
- Why?
- Because he loves you and he's been worried.
1604
01:24:21,110 --> 01:24:22,318
Oh blimey.
1605
01:24:22,318 --> 01:24:26,568
- And he's all set to cancel his wedding.
- Well I can't go in there and face him now.
1606
01:24:26,568 --> 01:24:28,527
I'll tell you what to do.
1607
01:24:28,527 --> 01:24:30,818
The main thing is, you mustn't
let him know you're back yet.
1608
01:24:30,818 --> 01:24:32,073
- Okay?
- Yes.
1609
01:24:32,098 --> 01:24:35,610
And listen what you should do is
(Whispering).
1610
01:24:35,610 --> 01:24:37,938
This is ridiculous the Scottish
embassy isn't even listed.
1611
01:24:37,963 --> 01:24:40,213
Oh take it easy Patrick. Try and relax.
1612
01:24:40,238 --> 01:24:42,068
Relax, how can I relax?
1613
01:24:42,068 --> 01:24:44,068
You do realise that this note could be a forgery.
1614
01:24:44,068 --> 01:24:46,652
She may well be in the hands of the mafia.
1615
01:24:46,652 --> 01:24:50,360
I doubt it I'm sure the mafia
can spell better than this.
1616
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:54,713
- I'm going to telephone the police.
- No at least let's wait for a moment.
1617
01:24:54,738 --> 01:24:55,719
Why?
1618
01:24:55,744 --> 01:24:59,443
Well I've got this feeling that Karen
might possibly want to telephone us
1619
01:24:59,443 --> 01:25:01,693
to say that she's alright and is coming home soon.
1620
01:25:01,693 --> 01:25:03,693
Feeling, we can't rely on a feeling.
1621
01:25:03,693 --> 01:25:04,926
(Phone rings)
1622
01:25:05,199 --> 01:25:07,327
- Hello?
- Daddy it's Karen.
1623
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:10,318
- I'm alright and I'm coming home soon.
- Karen.
1624
01:25:10,360 --> 01:25:12,318
There you are. Where are you?
1625
01:25:12,318 --> 01:25:16,860
Ah well, actually I'm in the
hall of somebody's house.
1626
01:25:16,860 --> 01:25:18,293
Who's house, where is it?
1627
01:25:18,318 --> 01:25:22,068
Well I can't really say, you see
because the man who owns it,
1628
01:25:22,068 --> 01:25:24,485
well he's got this terrible crabby temper, see.
1629
01:25:24,485 --> 01:25:26,943
- You mean you're not with Richard then?
- No.
1630
01:25:26,943 --> 01:25:29,027
But you are with a man?
1631
01:25:29,027 --> 01:25:32,610
- Darling what sort of a man?
- Oh he's harmless enough mummy.
1632
01:25:32,610 --> 01:25:35,723
- He's ever so old and wrinkled.
- But darling they're the worst sort.
1633
01:25:35,748 --> 01:25:38,010
- I mean look at your father.
- Karen.
1634
01:25:38,035 --> 01:25:41,235
- Look daddy I am sorry about all this.
- No darling it was all my fault.
1635
01:25:41,235 --> 01:25:43,235
- No it wasn't.
- Yes it was.
1636
01:25:43,235 --> 01:25:44,535
- It wasn't.
- Yes it was.
1637
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:45,434
No.
1638
01:25:45,459 --> 01:25:47,402
Will you stop interrupting
while I'm interrupting?
1639
01:25:47,402 --> 01:25:50,610
Now look Karen darling at least
tell me which town are you in?
1640
01:25:50,610 --> 01:25:53,777
Umm well actually I'm a, in a,
1641
01:25:53,930 --> 01:25:55,049
Ooh!
1642
01:25:55,902 --> 01:25:58,110
- I'm in schtuck.
- She's in Schtuck.
1643
01:25:58,110 --> 01:25:59,790
- Look it up on the map.
- Schtuck?
1644
01:25:59,815 --> 01:26:01,027
Probably Poland.
1645
01:26:01,027 --> 01:26:02,568
What a lovely surprise.
1646
01:26:02,568 --> 01:26:05,213
-Now look Karen darling just stay where you are.
1647
01:26:05,238 --> 01:26:07,164
I will arrange for a plane to.
1648
01:26:07,698 --> 01:26:09,966
Was that nanny's voice I heard just then?
1649
01:26:09,991 --> 01:26:11,027
Er yes.
1650
01:26:11,027 --> 01:26:13,693
- She's there with you in Schtuck?
- Yes.
1651
01:26:13,718 --> 01:26:16,002
- Put her on.
- Daddy wants to talk to you.
1652
01:26:16,027 --> 01:26:17,311
To me?
1653
01:26:17,818 --> 01:26:21,735
- Hello.
- Nanny how on earth did you get there?
1654
01:26:21,735 --> 01:26:24,652
- Well I, I walked.
- Walked?
1655
01:26:24,652 --> 01:26:26,387
It's impossible.
1656
01:26:26,412 --> 01:26:29,193
I think you better speak to him dear.
1657
01:26:29,193 --> 01:26:33,110
- Look daddy I can explain everything.
- Yes darling I'm sure you can.
1658
01:26:33,110 --> 01:26:36,158
But what I want to know is how
on earth did nanny manage to get?
1659
01:26:36,183 --> 01:26:37,988
Alright nanny I'll be with you in a minute.
1660
01:26:38,013 --> 01:26:40,097
How did nanny manage to get to the...
1661
01:26:41,527 --> 01:26:42,586
Nanny?
1662
01:26:43,485 --> 01:26:46,568
Oh look Karen darling, stay where you are.
1663
01:26:46,610 --> 01:26:49,485
I'm sure it isn't very far away
1664
01:26:49,485 --> 01:26:51,568
and I'm looking forward to seeing you.
1665
01:26:51,568 --> 01:26:53,610
If I hurry I should be home
in time for the wedding.
1666
01:26:53,610 --> 01:26:55,193
Yes I'm sure you will.
1667
01:26:55,193 --> 01:26:57,818
And everything's alright and you're not to worry.
1668
01:26:57,860 --> 01:27:02,654
And no it isn't because you're
right behind me, aren't you?
1669
01:27:02,714 --> 01:27:06,277
- Yes I am.
- And you're not very pleased are you?
1670
01:27:06,277 --> 01:27:07,818
No I'm not.
1671
01:27:07,818 --> 01:27:11,443
You're probably thinking I'm not
too big to have my bottom smacked?
1672
01:27:11,443 --> 01:27:13,360
Exactly, goodbye.
1673
01:27:13,360 --> 01:27:14,511
Goodbye.
1674
01:27:16,265 --> 01:27:18,438
In there young lady.
1675
01:27:30,836 --> 01:27:33,925
Now look darling I don't want you
to blame your father for all this.
1676
01:27:33,950 --> 01:27:36,290
- I don't.
- Don't you, well I do.
1677
01:27:36,318 --> 01:27:37,402
Barbara.
1678
01:27:37,402 --> 01:27:40,985
Darling you were just upset because
he was getting married and you weren't.
1679
01:27:40,985 --> 01:27:42,996
Look I'm only doing it for their sake.
1680
01:27:43,021 --> 01:27:44,068
Miss Georgie.
1681
01:27:44,068 --> 01:27:46,543
Everything's alright. She's back home again.
1682
01:27:46,568 --> 01:27:48,360
What a relief.
1683
01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:50,735
Oh nanny this is my Uncle
Arthur who's giving me away.
1684
01:27:50,735 --> 01:27:51,943
How do you do?
1685
01:27:51,943 --> 01:27:54,485
You surely don't think I want to get married.
1686
01:27:54,485 --> 01:27:57,152
I'm only marrying Georgie to
provide them with a mother.
1687
01:27:57,152 --> 01:27:58,777
I mean the whole idea.
1688
01:27:58,777 --> 01:28:00,152
Hello Georgie, the whole idea.
1689
01:28:00,152 --> 01:28:01,277
Georgie!
1690
01:28:01,277 --> 01:28:03,378
- Hello Patrick.
- Yes hello.
1691
01:28:03,403 --> 01:28:05,360
Good Lord is that the time?
1692
01:28:05,360 --> 01:28:09,777
- We must be going.
- Patrick I think you and I should share a car.
1693
01:28:09,777 --> 01:28:13,643
- We have one or two things to discuss.
- Well I probably.
1694
01:28:14,036 --> 01:28:17,323
Patrick I found Spitz but there's no...
1695
01:28:21,043 --> 01:28:23,214
What else have we today?
1696
01:28:23,239 --> 01:28:26,312
After the Glover wedding
you've got the unmarried mothers.
1697
01:28:26,818 --> 01:28:30,374
I thought you were responsible for them?
1698
01:28:31,221 --> 01:28:33,610
But I do want to get married don't you?
1699
01:28:33,610 --> 01:28:35,152
Well of course I do.
1700
01:28:35,152 --> 01:28:38,068
- I cancelled a dental appointment for this.
- Exactly.
1701
01:28:38,068 --> 01:28:41,436
But just because I'm keen it doesn't mean
to say you would have to go through with it
1702
01:28:41,461 --> 01:28:44,443
- if you're not keen.
- What does that mean?
1703
01:28:44,443 --> 01:28:47,063
Driver don't stop drive around the Green.
1704
01:28:47,329 --> 01:28:49,527
- Georgie.
- Patrick admit it.
1705
01:28:49,527 --> 01:28:50,735
You've got cold feet.
1706
01:28:50,735 --> 01:28:53,527
Well perhaps I have but I'll keep
them on the far side of the bed.
1707
01:28:53,527 --> 01:28:54,652
Yes.
1708
01:28:54,652 --> 01:28:57,235
Yes but are you keen?
1709
01:28:57,235 --> 01:28:59,818
Well of course I am keen.
1710
01:28:59,818 --> 01:29:01,027
But are you?
1711
01:29:01,280 --> 01:29:03,227
Well of course I am.
1712
01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:05,693
I tossed a coin and I'll stand by it.
1713
01:29:05,693 --> 01:29:09,152
You tossed a. Driver round the green again.
1714
01:29:09,152 --> 01:29:11,652
It's a long way to this church.
1715
01:29:11,652 --> 01:29:12,902
That's a bit callous.
1716
01:29:12,902 --> 01:29:15,818
Not at all I've had my hair done specially.
1717
01:29:15,818 --> 01:29:18,318
Besides there's the question of all
those lovely presents we've been given.
1718
01:29:18,318 --> 01:29:19,333
Exactly
1719
01:29:19,358 --> 01:29:21,818
and I've already tipped the organist.
1720
01:29:21,818 --> 01:29:24,277
Driver I think we'd better.
1721
01:29:24,277 --> 01:29:26,360
No, no we were going to tell you to stop.
1722
01:29:26,360 --> 01:29:27,443
This is ridiculous.
1723
01:29:27,443 --> 01:29:30,441
If we keep going around like this we
will disappear up our own exhaust pipe.
1724
01:29:30,466 --> 01:29:32,818
- How about tossing another coin?
- Georgie.
1725
01:29:32,860 --> 01:29:35,652
We must decide this like
mature, responsible adults.
1726
01:29:35,652 --> 01:29:37,902
Now eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
1727
01:29:37,902 --> 01:29:39,418
We haven't got time.
1728
01:29:46,215 --> 01:29:48,496
Really Patrick we should make up our minds.
1729
01:29:48,521 --> 01:29:49,322
No.
1730
01:29:49,347 --> 01:29:51,152
Patrick I think it's time we're in position
1731
01:29:51,152 --> 01:29:54,318
and it's very bad luck to talk
to your bride before the service.
1732
01:29:54,318 --> 01:29:56,393
How should I know I've only done it once before.
1733
01:29:56,418 --> 01:29:58,068
Oh come on.
1734
01:29:58,068 --> 01:29:59,854
Come along you.
1735
01:29:59,879 --> 01:30:02,443
Nothing absolutely nothing.
1736
01:30:02,468 --> 01:30:05,201
Oh belt up for heaven's sake.
1737
01:30:05,402 --> 01:30:08,355
You're probably right I'll manage.
1738
01:30:08,516 --> 01:30:10,735
Are they're here.
1739
01:30:10,735 --> 01:30:11,568
This is ridiculous.
1740
01:30:11,568 --> 01:30:14,318
A man in this situation should
be given time to think.
1741
01:30:14,318 --> 01:30:17,171
Do it first think about it later.
1742
01:30:18,986 --> 01:30:21,072
(Organ plays music)
1743
01:30:47,937 --> 01:30:52,650
- What's the matter with you Patrick?
- I've just feel a little bit nervous that's all.
1744
01:30:52,693 --> 01:30:54,483
Are so was I.
1745
01:30:55,210 --> 01:30:59,710
I say would you like to have a,
you know while there's still time?
1746
01:31:00,027 --> 01:31:01,788
This is quite a fault.
1747
01:31:01,813 --> 01:31:05,348
- Didn't happen to notice where it is?
- Well you see the fount.
1748
01:31:05,902 --> 01:31:08,039
I couldn't old boy it wouldn't be right.
1749
01:31:08,064 --> 01:31:10,310
No, no, no next to it is a door.
1750
01:31:10,764 --> 01:31:12,027
Oh yes.
1751
01:31:12,027 --> 01:31:15,193
Wait here comes the firing squad.
1752
01:31:17,527 --> 01:31:18,940
Stiff upper lip old son.
1753
01:31:18,965 --> 01:31:19,873
Yes.
1754
01:31:19,898 --> 01:31:22,398
Lie back and think of old England.
1755
01:31:24,008 --> 01:31:26,662
Mother wrong side!
1756
01:31:28,568 --> 01:31:30,068
Would you believe?
1757
01:31:30,068 --> 01:31:32,568
(Organ music continues)
1758
01:31:38,848 --> 01:31:40,627
(Organist stops playing)
1759
01:31:40,652 --> 01:31:42,652
Dearly beloved.
1760
01:31:42,652 --> 01:31:48,943
We are gathered here in this
place and in face of this congregation
1761
01:31:48,943 --> 01:31:54,211
to join together this man and
this woman in holy matrimony.
1762
01:31:54,599 --> 01:31:57,868
Which is an honourable state and is...
1763
01:31:57,893 --> 01:31:59,985
Were doing the right thing aren't we?
1764
01:31:59,985 --> 01:32:01,494
The honourable among all men
1765
01:32:01,519 --> 01:32:05,799
and therefore is not by any to be enterprised
1766
01:32:05,824 --> 01:32:08,552
- Not by any hand...
- We had such a nice relationship before.
1767
01:32:08,577 --> 01:32:09,670
Georgie.
1768
01:32:09,695 --> 01:32:12,275
But reverently,
1769
01:32:12,363 --> 01:32:16,048
discretely, advisedly, soberly.
1770
01:32:17,144 --> 01:32:19,818
You know I think you could be right.
1771
01:32:19,818 --> 01:32:21,985
For which matrimony was your name.
1772
01:32:21,985 --> 01:32:29,193
Therefore if any man can see any just cause
why they may not be lawfully joined together,
1773
01:32:29,193 --> 01:32:35,028
let him now speak or else
hear after forever hold his peace.
1774
01:32:40,610 --> 01:32:42,859
Nobody they've deserted us.
1775
01:32:42,884 --> 01:32:45,556
Patrick Goldsworthy
1776
01:32:46,735 --> 01:32:48,818
Sitwell Glover.
1777
01:32:48,818 --> 01:32:50,818
Goldsworthy Sitwell?
1778
01:32:50,860 --> 01:32:53,919
His father was very widely read.
1779
01:32:53,944 --> 01:32:55,011
Oh.
1780
01:32:55,036 --> 01:32:59,777
Will thou love her, comfort her, honour
and keep her in sickness and in health,
1781
01:32:59,777 --> 01:33:06,527
and forsaking all other keep thee only
unto her so long as thee both shall live?
1782
01:33:06,527 --> 01:33:08,568
Actually we're just discussing it.
1783
01:33:08,568 --> 01:33:09,580
Splendid.
1784
01:33:10,443 --> 01:33:16,360
Georgina Thompson wilt though
have this man to thy wedded husband,
1785
01:33:16,360 --> 01:33:23,068
to live together in sickness and in health,
forsaking all others keep thee only unto him,
1786
01:33:23,164 --> 01:33:25,818
so long as you both shall live?
1787
01:33:25,818 --> 01:33:27,110
No thank you.
1788
01:33:27,110 --> 01:33:30,693
Who giveth this woman
to be married to this man?
1789
01:33:30,693 --> 01:33:34,186
Nobody does. Look vicar we've
changed our minds haven't we?
1790
01:33:34,211 --> 01:33:35,099
Er yes.
1791
01:33:35,124 --> 01:33:38,235
Will you take her right hand and repeat after me?
1792
01:33:38,235 --> 01:33:39,235
Look, vicar, vicar!
1793
01:33:39,235 --> 01:33:42,373
- I Patrick.
- Vicar,vicar.
1794
01:33:42,398 --> 01:33:43,902
Sitwell Glover.
1795
01:33:44,221 --> 01:33:46,971
(Van engine roaring)
1796
01:33:51,243 --> 01:33:52,810
(Bells tolling)
1797
01:34:01,652 --> 01:34:04,098
Congratulation.
1798
01:34:04,618 --> 01:34:06,252
Congratulations.
1799
01:34:07,485 --> 01:34:09,226
- Richard.
- Yes.
1800
01:34:09,251 --> 01:34:11,152
We didn't get married.
1801
01:34:11,152 --> 01:34:14,318
(Upbeat funky music)
1802
01:34:21,993 --> 01:34:23,873
(Guests chatter)
1803
01:34:30,235 --> 01:34:33,402
- Oh not yet dear.
- But Richard hasn't had any breakfast.
1804
01:34:33,402 --> 01:34:35,777
Oh alright then.
1805
01:34:36,635 --> 01:34:38,443
(Loud sound of chatter)
1806
01:34:43,860 --> 01:34:45,610
Speech, speech!
1807
01:34:45,686 --> 01:34:47,277
Speech!
1808
01:34:47,471 --> 01:34:49,358
Quiet everybody
1809
01:34:49,383 --> 01:34:50,853
Quiet!
1810
01:34:50,878 --> 01:34:53,527
- Is it alright?
- I'd rather have had eggs and bacon.
1811
01:34:53,527 --> 01:34:55,800
Karen, Richard quiet.
1812
01:34:55,877 --> 01:34:57,325
Sorry sir.
1813
01:34:58,277 --> 01:35:00,693
Well ladies and gentlemen on these occasions,
1814
01:35:00,693 --> 01:35:04,527
it's customary for the groom to
say a few words, during which he,
1815
01:35:04,527 --> 01:35:07,777
he would thank the bridesmaids
and the bride's parents.
1816
01:35:07,777 --> 01:35:12,027
Well we never had any bridesmaids today
and Georgie's never had any parents.
1817
01:35:12,027 --> 01:35:14,485
I mean I haven't got any parents.
1818
01:35:14,485 --> 01:35:17,318
So really all I want to do is to thank those of you
1819
01:35:17,318 --> 01:35:22,943
who came along to the church and the rest of you
who could have they come to the reception.
1820
01:35:22,943 --> 01:35:25,443
And also Georgie and I would like to thank you all
1821
01:35:25,443 --> 01:35:29,610
very, very much for the beautiful
wedding presents that you've given us.
1822
01:35:29,610 --> 01:35:34,277
So now if you would identify them we would
be very happy to give them all back to you.
1823
01:35:34,277 --> 01:35:36,848
Come along nanny. Now which is the first one?
1824
01:35:36,873 --> 01:35:39,402
- Who gave us the toaster hey?
- Mr and Mrs Mossman.
1825
01:35:39,402 --> 01:35:40,442
Oh.
1826
01:35:40,467 --> 01:35:42,698
If I knew I was getting it back,
I would've bought something decent.
1827
01:35:42,723 --> 01:35:44,107
Serves you right.
1828
01:35:45,431 --> 01:35:48,673
Now then who gave us this beautiful lamp?
1829
01:35:48,698 --> 01:35:50,485
That is yours daddy.
1830
01:35:50,485 --> 01:35:51,918
Oh so it is.
1831
01:35:52,018 --> 01:35:53,418
(Laughter)
1832
01:35:54,678 --> 01:35:57,027
Now who gave us this?
(cookooing)
1833
01:35:57,027 --> 01:35:58,633
Don't tell me I can guess.
1834
01:35:59,747 --> 01:36:04,100
- There we are darling.
- No dear it's your wedding, not mine.
1835
01:36:05,428 --> 01:36:07,575
It's a family heirloom.
1836
01:36:07,718 --> 01:36:12,018
Come along everybody I think it's much
better if you collect them yourselves.
1837
01:36:14,235 --> 01:36:16,110
Remember you must only take your own though.
1838
01:36:16,110 --> 01:36:17,693
Don't take other people's.
1839
01:36:17,771 --> 01:36:19,783
(Guests chatter and doorbell rings)
1840
01:36:21,068 --> 01:36:23,277
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
1841
01:36:23,277 --> 01:36:24,943
It's £2.70 this week.
1842
01:36:24,943 --> 01:36:28,110
Oh it's a sort of cancelled wedding reception.
1843
01:36:28,110 --> 01:36:30,249
Oh yes that's nice.
1844
01:36:30,937 --> 01:36:32,290
(Poop)
1845
01:36:35,193 --> 01:36:37,839
Nanny must be a good party.
1846
01:36:38,027 --> 01:36:40,652
- Here we are you two.
- Oh thank you.
1847
01:36:40,652 --> 01:36:42,878
I'm sorry sir about the.
1848
01:36:42,903 --> 01:36:45,684
Oh that's alright. Let bygones be bygones hey.
1849
01:36:45,709 --> 01:36:46,693
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1850
01:36:46,693 --> 01:36:47,943
(Glasses shatter)
1851
01:36:47,943 --> 01:36:50,485
Oh I'm sorry.
1852
01:36:50,485 --> 01:36:52,078
Oh I'm sorry.
1853
01:36:52,103 --> 01:36:53,449
Richard!
1854
01:36:53,474 --> 01:36:56,318
Sorry I'm late Patrick. Got
held up by a photo finish.
1855
01:36:56,318 --> 01:36:59,360
Just a little something. Look.
stirling silver cutlery.
1856
01:36:59,360 --> 01:37:02,581
I've paid the deposit. You make the
rest of the payments to this address.
1857
01:37:02,606 --> 01:37:05,905
- Phillip.
- And er congratulations.
1858
01:37:05,930 --> 01:37:10,263
Well actually we changed our
minds. We didn't get married.
1859
01:37:10,318 --> 01:37:13,131
You didn't. Congratulations.
1860
01:37:14,651 --> 01:37:15,943
Barbara!
1861
01:37:16,818 --> 01:37:18,824
- Georgie.
- Hmm?
1862
01:37:18,985 --> 01:37:21,610
I've already booked the honeymoon.
1863
01:37:21,610 --> 01:37:23,874
Seems a pity to waste it.
1864
01:37:25,271 --> 01:37:26,711
Do you mind?
1865
01:37:27,049 --> 01:37:29,058
(Romantic music plays)
143444
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