All language subtitles for 1x12 - Space Vampire

? Batman ?

(male narrator)
So far we have seen
a royal visitor

arriving in Gotham City.

A festive reception.

With greetings
from The Riddler.

[theme music]

A dynamic duo to the rescue.

Solve the tricky riddle.

And then a beauty queen..

...robbed of her tiara.

Batman and Robin perplexed.

Champagne for everyone.

A vanishing king.

More riddles in his place.

The Caped Crusader and the
Boy Wonder are on his trail.

Holy entanglement!

Trapped like flies.

Horrors strapped to
The Riddler's whirling wheels.

Can the dynamic duo
escape a spinning death?

Wait, the most fiendish
is yet to come.

[theme music]

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

? Nana nana nana nana
nana nana nana ?

? Batman ??

[intense music]

[explosion]

[grunting]

Robin..

...are you alright?

Come on.

Robin.

Snap out, Robin.

I must have passed out.

[coughing]

Well, feels like
taking a 100 rides

on a supersonic
roller coaster.

One more revolution
of that wheel

will probably
finish both of us.

What happened?

While they dragged
us down here, some of the..

...web-like material tore away
from my hand and waist.

I just barely managed
to get the cutting torch

out of my utility belt.

You burned the armature and
short-circuited the power.

Golly, Batman,
the utility belt saves again.

Now, old friend, it's time to
get back on The Riddler's trail.

[instrumental music]

The following morning
at the wallowing place

of the evil river rats.

Deep below Gotham City.

[snoring]

[screams]
Rise and shine!

Sorry, my dear rats
to disturb you all slumber

but I believe
you are working for me.

Then sleep on your own time!

- Where's Mousey?
- She ain't here, chief.

She'll be here soon.
You know her types.

They're never on time.

Time. Time's of the essence.
We have a tight schedule.

Good morning.

Late morning is more like it.

You know I detest tardiness.

I missed the bus! Big deal.

It will be
if you miss the caper.

We have a great many important
details to work over.

Okay. I'm here. Relax.

Yeah, Riddler,
this thing'll be a cinch.

For once, we don't have to worry
about Batman and Robin.

How true.

So many people have tried.

The Penguin, Mr. Freeze,
The Joker.

All masters of their craft,
granted

but I, only I have triumphed
in ridding

Gotham City's criminal kingdom
of the dynamic duo.

And good riddance it is.

How frustrating it'll be for my
colleagues when they'll learn

that I succeeded
where they failed.

I'd sure like to see their faces
when they hear about it?

They'll have no one
to outwit anymore.

Regrettably, it is no longer
our problem.

For tomorrow
we shall be

miles and miles away
in another country.

With all that beautiful
green dough.

If everything goes
according to plan, that is.

And why shouldn't it?

What if they refuse to pay?

I've left them no choice.

And my plan is foolproof,
I promise you.

I gotta go along
with The Riddler.

- He ain't stood us wrong yet.
- Deeply touched.

Whiskers, any problems last
night with my friend the king?

- Took him back safe and sound.
- Good, good.

Rats, I'm a man of few words
but a man of many riddles.

So riddle me this

what is it that is always coming
but never arrives?

Quickly, quickly.

We ain't tuned in
on the riddle bit, chief.

Yeah. We give up.

What is it that is always coming
but never arrives?

Tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow.

But when it arrives,
it is today.

And today, my dear rodents

should prove to be most
memorable.

And that's all you can tell us,
Your Majesty?

It is exactly
as I have explained.

A sinister humoresque
in mask and tights

some other scoundrels, Batman
and Robin being captured.

It all happened so suddenly,
so swiftly

then I was returned
to my hotel blindfolded.

And you have
no idea where you were at?

None whatsoever.

Alright, Your Majesty,
thanks for your time.

I feel terrible
about Batman and Robin

but I'm due at the
Queen Of Freedom Monument..

- I could cancel that--
- Oh, no, no, Your Majesty.

If we need further information,
we'll contact you.

Thank you, gentlemen.

[beeping]

They're alive!

Batman, are you alright?

Yes, commissioner,
we had a nasty turn

but we came out of it alright.

Have you spoken with King Boris?

Yes, he's perfectly safe.
On his way right now.

for some festivities at the
Queen Of Freedom Monument.

And The Riddler?

He left us
in the clutches of death.

Well, thank the stars
that you managed to escape.

Commissioner, with The Riddler
thinking we're out of the way

he might get a bit careless.

I suggest that you don't tell
anyone that we've contacted you.

O'Hara and I won't tell a soul.

Good, I'll be in touch.

A riddle a day
keeps The Riddler away.

I won't forget
you told me that.

Don't.

Whatever his
evil scheme is

he hasn't hatched it yet.

I wonder what his
next move will be.

Let's get to the Bat-cave
and be ready for it.

[dramatic music]

(man on TV)
'From the
Queen Of Freedom Monument.'

'This station presents a special
public affairs program.'

Yeah, this should prove
very interesting.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Here we are
at the Museum Of Fame

housed inside the torch room

high atop the inspiring
Queen Of Freedom Monument.

In just a few minutes,
King Boris

will present the museum
with a gift indicative

of his country's appreciation.

A gold, bejeweled, miniature
replica of the Queen Of Freedom.

Here comes the king.

[camera clicking]

And now His Majesty, King Boris.

Good afternoon, Your Majesty.

It is my great pleasure
and honor to welcome you

on behalf of our fair city,
our nation

and the television audience.

My friends, it is the great
honor for me

to present Gotham City's Museum
Of Fame with this statue.

A symbol of courage and freedom
to all the world.

God bless you.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

On behalf of Gotham City
and our country

permit me to express
our gratitude

and also the hope
that you thoroughly enjoy

the remainder
of your visit here.

So there you have it, folks.

The replica will now go
on permanent display here

along with other famous
memorabilia.

Some of which
you might be able to see.

Uh, over here for instance

we have the original Gotham City
Commodity Exchange building.

And, uh, back here..

I think you can see, a bust
of Gotham City's first mayor.

And of course, how could our
Museum Of Fame exist without

Batman and Robin.

[booing]

I think they are cute.

Just because we're on opposite
side to the fence doesn't--

We were on opposite side to the
fence. They're dead, remember?

[booing]

Take that thing off!

(man on TV)
'The inspiring..'

Thanks, Kenny. You're the best
partner in crime I ever had.

[intense music]

Later, on a Gotham City
street corner.

[siren blaring]

[explosion]

[music continues]

Good heavens!

What? What is it?

Alright, listen

"If Gotham City does not pay me
one million dollars in cash

"by 10 o'clock tonight,
the Queen Of Freedom Monument

"will be blown sky high.

"All security of its
cannot stop the destruction

"and only I can deactivate
the bomb.

PS, Batman and Robin..

...are dead.
The Riddler."

That infernal devil.

Oh, so that was his plot.

To get rid of
Batman and Robin

and then pull off
the biggest extortion caper

in the history of Gotham City.

And he might
just get away with it.

So that's his scheme,
commissioner.

And obviously,
the city must pay for it.

But it's almost
4 o'clock now, Batman.

Half the city council
are out of town

They won't meet again
until tomorrow.

I couldn't get that kind of
money if my life depended on it.

Hmm, that is a problem.

Could you get it
from any private source?

I don't know of anyone

that has that kind of money
readily available.

- Except.
- Except who?

Well, except my good friend,
Bruce Wayne

the millionaire socialite.

And by all means, call him,
you can't waste any time.

Alright, I'll contact
you later, Batman.

You understand, Bruce, this
million dollars is just a loan.

I don't know what this is
all about, commissioner.

But if it's in the best interest
of Gotham City

I'm certainly happy to do it.

But you may not get
all the kudos that Batman does.

But believe me, Bruce,

you're the unsung hero
of this dark hour. Thanks.

I just wanna do my duty
as a proud citizen

of this fair community.

Batman!
What the devil!

It's Batman.

Sorry, commissioner, I used
the Bat-rope to get up here

because I didn't
wanna be noticed.

I'm sure The Riddler
has notified you

that Robin and I were dead.

Yes.

Good. I wanted him
to think that.

But, Batman, we discussed--

I never had the pleasure
of meeting Batman, commissioner.

Oh, I-I'm sorry. Batman, this is
my good friend, Bruce Wayne.

Ah, the millionaire socialite.

I've always wanted
to meet you, Mr. Wayne.

The feeling is mutual.

Ah, speaking of millionaires,

did you get the money
for The Riddler?

I've just made the arrangements.

Am I free to speak?

I trust Bruce Wayne
as I trust you, Batman.

Good.

I have a plan.

I suggest no cops.

Police, that is.

9 o'clock,
have your men place the money

'inside the museum, in the torch
room with the monument.'

'Then they must leave.'

Million dollars
is a lot of money.

But The Riddler's
smart and tricky.

If he suspects a trap,
he'll pass up the cash

'and destroy the monument.'

Then how do we catch him?

You leave that to Robin and me.

You have to deactivate the bomb
wherever it is before he leaves.

Then we will jump into action.

(Bruce)
'I know nothing whatsoever'

'about this sort of thing,
commissioner.'

But as a layman,
it makes sense to me.

Alright then,
that's the way it'll be.

You're a smart man, Mr. Wayne.
We should get together sometime

and discuss crime prevention.

With pleasure.

I'll look forward to seeing you
in the near future.

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

Batman!

Take it easy,
you're not seeing a ghost.

That's Whitey.!

[laughs]

How did it go?

Great, uh, Gordon went for it
like a duck to water.

And that millionaire socialite
Bruce Wayne was there also.

Well, he fell so hard
for the act

that he helped
sell our plan to Gordon.

And the coast will be clear.

Clear!

As your gorgeous brown eyes,
my little Mousey.

[giggles]

Oh, I've really
outdone myself this time.

Oh, genius.

Sheer genius.

[giggling]

[applauding]

Robin, Robin, where are you?

'Up here.'

What are you doing up there?

It was making
a funny rumbling noise.

I thought some part
might be loose.

Just checking it out.

Did you, uh, give Commissioner
Gordon the money?

Yes, I also met Batman.

Oh. You what!

Very interesting.

[beeping]

The Bat-phone's ringing.

Yes, commissioner.

By any remote possibility, were
you in my office this afternoon?

(Batman)
'No, why?'

I didn't think so.

But someone
impersonating you was here.

I played along with the hoax
because Bruce Wayne was present.

I didn't wanted to expose him
to any danger.

Good for you. You did exactly
as you should have done.

Did he give you
any instructions?

Fine. You do just what he says.

In the meantime,
I'll map out a plan.

What was it?

As I was telling you

The Riddler had someone
impersonate me today.

I knew he'd get careless if he
thought we were out of the way.

But how do we stop him?

The clinch here would be
to solve this last riddle.

"Why is a woman
in love like a welder?"

I bet that'll tell us the
location of the bomb alright.

Well, stop fiddling with that
atomic pile and come down here.

Two heads are better
than one, old chum.

Okay, I can't fix it anyway.

Not without a torch.

Great Scott!

- A torch. That's it.
- Huh?

"Why is a woman
in love like a welder?"

Because they both
carry a torch.

Holy conflagration!

The torch room
at the Queen Of Freedom.

But how could
The Riddler place a bomb there?

He didn't, King Boris did.

What? King Boris?

I'll explain on the way.

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

Darkness flows
over Gotham City.

But on a shadowy balcony,

in the torch room of the
Queen Of Freedom Monument..

How does it look?

Two policemen came earlier

they placed the black bag
down there.

Then left.

Good, good. Perfect, perfect!
That's the landing. Wonderful.

My friends, plan 136-triple A
is about to begin.

Mousey, you stay her
and be the lookout.

Good luck.

Onward.

Beautiful, beautiful.
Beautiful!

- Can we see the dough?
- Not now, you dope.

I have to deactivate
the bomb first.

Or do you want to be blown
to smithereens?

Now just..

The replica. It's gone.

What squeals louder
than a cotton rat?

Answer, several cotton rat.

I've been out-riddled.

But the dough.

[explosion]

They fooled me
with my own trick.

That's the only way
we can smoke you out.

What?

Is this what
you're looking for, Riddler?

(Batman)
'Clever of you to place'

'a time bomb inside it
when you kidnapped King Boris.'

Knowing he was gonna present
it here the following day.

Poor fellow was nothing
but an innocent stooge.

But you're dead, Batman.

Not quite!

We foiled
your villainous death plot.

The bomb,
it'll go up any second.

Don't worry.

I deactivated it.

Now we're going
to deactivate you.

There are four of us
against the two of you.

But we're not afraid.

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[music continues]

Ha!

[door opens]

I'll never understand
why girls like you

get involved
in things like this.

Kicks, I guess.

I've been looking for them
ever since I dropped

out of high school.

[chuckles]

But I'm sort of glad
they didn't do you in.

Thank you.

Uh!

Time to go, Riddler... to jail.

[instrumental music]

There's just nothing
like a good cup of tea.

Well, I'm off.

Where you going Aunt Harriet?

Oh, I have some
out of town friends

who are visiting
Gotham City for the day.

I thought I'd take them to see
the Queen Of Freedom Monument.

Say, would you like
to join us?

Uh, no, thanks, Aunt Harriet.

I've some Wayne Foundation
business reports to go over.

- Oh.
- Perhaps, Dick.

No! I've got my algebra.

Well, alright,
but you're missing a treat.

It's a very interesting place,
you know.

I'm sure it is, Aunt Harriet.

Probably more interesting
than you could imagine.

[door opens and closes]

The algebra.

Ah!

Next week, the Joker returns.

? Batman ?

? Batman ?

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? Batman ??

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