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First, the parish notices
about our Christmas activities.
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This week, as you know,
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00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,916
we had the Christmas collection
for old people of the parish,
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00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,474
which raised the sum of £400 -
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a record amount, due largely
fo a substantial contribution
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00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,518
donated by our lord of the manor,
Mr DeVere.
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Our thanks are due to him.
8
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And then, last night,
we had the estate staff party.
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And I gather a good time was had by all.
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Our thanks must go to all those
who worked so hard to make it a success.
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Especially to our lord, Mr DeVere.
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(Mouths)
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Now, tomorrow, being Christmas Eve,
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we shall be making the church ready
for our candlelight procession
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and blessing of the crib
at the midnight service.
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And in the afternoon,
the women will be decorating the church.
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And I gather we can expect
an even better display than usual...
18
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,638
owing to another generous donation
from Mr DeVere...
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00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,871
our lord and er... lord of the manor.
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"And may the words of my mouth
and the meditations of all our hearts
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be acceptable in thy sight,
O Lord, our strength and our redeemer."
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My text today comes...
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Well, the words of his mouth were
certainly not acceptable in my sight.
24
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It was rather a good sermon, I thought.
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The sermon was a lovely length.
But all that stuff about Mr DeVere.
26
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It's "Mr DeVere" this
and "our lord of the manor" that.
27
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,279
Well, something is rotten
in the state of Denmark.
28
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I thought he came from Czechoslovakia.
29
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The point is, the rector didn't utter
one word about all my hard work.
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This year I was just "the women".
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"The women will decorate the church."
Not even "the ladies".
32
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You are going to do it, aren't you?
Yes.
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Well, me and the women.
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Though I've a jolly good mind not to.
Nor do all the other things.
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What other things?
The church crib, for a start.
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Have you got the crib here?
I assume so.
37
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,676
It must have come over
from the manor.
38
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,836
Ned's getting it from the attic.
Ned?
39
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,794
Yes. Brabinger's gone off to spend
Christmas with his granddaughter,
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00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,116
so Ned's lending a hand.
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00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,309
Oh.
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Ned, what on earth are you doing?
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I was preparing a little surprise
for you, Mrs Forbes.
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In the dark?
Oh, they look beter in the dark.
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What do?
Fairy lights. Look.
46
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Oh, Ned, that's lovely! Isn't it, Aud?
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It certainly cheers the place up a bit.
Thank you, Ned.
48
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,555
Oh, there's more.
49
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:40,195
Remember how the lights on
the big tree at the manor used to blink?
50
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,436
Yes. But we can't have everything.
51
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,840
We can, ma'am.
I've made a little transformer
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with a circuit-breaker
that makes the lights go on and off
53
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,838
every three seconds. Watch.
54
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,553
Is this wise, Ned?
55
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,240
I'm a little wary
of your electrical expertise.
56
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,840
Oh, it's quite safe, Mrs Forbes.
57
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(Fizing)
58
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,996
Well?
Well what?
59
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,750
I thought you said they came on again.
60
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,794
There seems to be
a little failure somewhere.
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00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,037
I think we'd better forget about
your Belisha beacon, Ned.
62
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,196
Oh, it won't take a moment to repair.
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00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,675
I don't want to risk it.
In fact, I forbid you
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00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,473
to go messing about
with electricity ever again.
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If you say so, Mrs Forbes.
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00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,475
Ned, I thought
you'd mended the bird table.
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00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:33,954
I did.
68
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,991
Then how did it get like that?
69
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,156
Oh, I can't think.
70
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,635
There was a robin on it this morning.
71
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,234
A robin? You're sure it wasn't an eagle?
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00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:49,069
What was the robin doing?
Fighting off one of the farm cats.
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00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,030
I see. Oh, by the way,
where did you put the crib?
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The crib.
Yes.
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00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,633
Oh, I couldn't find it.
I searched the whole house.
76
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,275
Oh, that means he's got it.
Fine. Then he'll be doing the crib.
77
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,756
He won't. I'm not having him
taking over my one remaining duty.
78
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,552
And he doesn't know where it is.
79
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,319
Perhaps he's already found it.
No chance of that.
80
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,955
If it's still at the manor,
I know where it is. He'll never find it.
81
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,076
One headless shepherd.
One three-legged donkey.
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00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,958
One wingless archangel.
83
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,150
One camel minus hump.
84
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,591
One hump minus camel.
85
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,874
One wise man bearing gift.
86
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,957
Donkey's leg, by the look of it.
87
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,516
Mother, where did you find this?
In the butler's pantry.
88
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,799
Eurgh!
What?
89
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,751
One dead mouse.
90
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,598
Oh.
91
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,836
Well, at least it's got all its bits.
92
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,996
Rector, I'm afraid we can't use that.
93
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,318
Well, as I say, the crib
has always been provided by the manor.
94
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:56,759
(Sighs)
95
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,352
Oh. Would you like another sherry?
96
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,678
Oh, "Wine is a mocker,
strong drink is raging." Proverbs 20.
97
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:06,710
Oh.
98
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,433
Yes, please.
99
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,831
Well, I'm sure it's not
beyond your powers to er...patch it up.
100
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,029
Ohl
101
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:21,557
Would you like another one?
No, thank you. Three's my limit.
102
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,319
You've had four.
Oh dear, I'd better be going.
103
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,352
You wouldn't be going past the Lodge,
by any chance?
104
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,595
It's on my way.
105
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:32,349
Perhaps I could ask you
to drop this in on your friend and mine.
106
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,959
Certainly.
107
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,791
Yes, I'll see myself out.
108
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,998
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
109
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,549
Oh, yes. (Chuckles) Good morning.
110
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,113
Good morning.
111
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,151
And thank you for your custom.
112
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,673
Well, you heard what he said.
113
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,439
We'd better
start getting this thing patched up.
114
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,437
I'm not one of the world's patchers.
115
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,279
But we must have a crib
by tomorrow afternoon.
116
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,834
Have it we shall.
I have influence in high places.
117
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,871
But not that high.
118
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,196
Just leave it to me.
119
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,834
So why don't I just pop over
to the manor
120
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,791
and ask if I can go and find the crib?
121
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,478
You'll do no such thing.
122
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,639
If he thinks he's sitting on something
I want, he'll make an issue out of it.
123
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,149
No. We'll just have to find
another crib.
124
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,276
How? It's Christmas Eve tomorrow.
125
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,233
Yes, it is. Right, then,
welll just have to make one.
126
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,920
Make one?
We can if we all pull together.
127
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,679
Ned can make the stable,
you can make the animals.
128
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,394
What are you going to make?
The mother and child.
129
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,431
Well, can you?
Of course.
130
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,630
I'm very clever with my hands.
131
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,399
I was the Rodin of the Lower Remove.
132
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,716
I don't think I can make the animals.
133
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,594
Of course you can. You made some
lovely animals for that WI competition.
134
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,678
Oh, yes. When we had to make an animal
out of a vegetable.
135
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,190
I seem fo remember I won
with a giraffe made out of carrots.
136
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,436
It was judged to be
far and away the best.
137
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,710
Yes. And you were the judge.
138
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,675
Well, how do you think your frogs,
made out of marrow, came second?
139
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:04,949
Oh.
140
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,196
Frogs aren't right for this.
141
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,392
There's nothing in the Bible
about shepherds in their fields
142
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,273
keeping watch over their frogs by night.
143
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,834
Oh, Ned. We're going to make
a Christmas crib.
144
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,156
Do you think you could make a stable?
145
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:23,034
A stable? Well, I was always
good at making model aeroplanes.
146
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,959
No, just a stable. Not a Sopwith Camel.
147
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,633
What shall I make it out of?
Anything you can find.
148
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,830
Adopt. Adapt. Improve.
149
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,553
Huh.
150
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,477
What's that?
151
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,559
Oh. This letter just came for you.
Delivered by the rector.
152
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,639
They're just not fussy who they get
to do the Christmas post these days.
153
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:47,150
Oh! It's a Christmas card from our lord.
154
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,157
Who?
Mr DeVere.
155
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,319
Though what an artist's impression
of his new Brent Cross retail outlet
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00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,636
has to do with Christmas,
I cannot think.
157
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,751
Oh, there's a note attached.
Oh yes?
158
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,950
"My mother and I would be so pleased
159
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,072
if you could spend Xmas Day with us
at the manor."
160
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,919
"Xmas." Makes it sound
like a skin complaint.
161
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,873
Um...Ned, will you do something for me?
162
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,153
Telephone the manor,
present my compliments to Mr DeVere
163
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:18,876
and tell him I am unable to accept
his kind invitation for Christmas Day.
164
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,911
Why not?
No reason.
165
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,631
Are you sure you don't want to go?
166
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,035
How do you think I'd feel
up at the manor?
167
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,277
It was only last year
that the whole family were there.
168
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,597
One of the best Christmases ever.
I know. I was there.
169
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,756
Oh, so you were.
170
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,350
Do you remember playing Sardines
all over the house after lunch
171
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,711
and coming in exhausted
from the Boxing Day hunt
172
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,592
and watching Basil Brush?
173
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,916
Pulling crackers
and Martin haranguing us
174
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,951
about the state of British industry.
175
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,436
Oh, yes! Just because his Chinese puzzle
was made in Hong Kong.
176
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,559
No, I couldn't possibly
go to the manor this year.
177
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,910
Anyway, I've got a previous engagement.
178
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,997
A previous engagement?
With you.
179
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,749
You always spend Christmas Day
with me.
180
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,872
Ah. Well, times change.
I can't manage it this year.
181
00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,038
Why not?
A previous engagement.
182
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,038
Marjory, you never have
a previous engagement.
183
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,549
Well, I have this year.
Where?
184
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,472
Up at the manor, if you must know,
with Mr DeVere.
185
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,399
You are spending Christmas Day
with Mr DeVere?
186
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,589
Yes.
Why?
187
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,870
He asked me.
That's no reason to accept.
188
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,275
Just because you won't
spend the day with Richard...
189
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,596
Oh, it's "Richard" now, is it?
190
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,234
You know he likes us
to use his Christian name.
191
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,272
Christian name. Huh!
The nearest he gets to Christian
192
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,834
is stirring his coffee
with an apostle spoon.
193
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,349
I wish you'd be
more complimentary about him.
194
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,550
It is Christmas
and he is doing his stuff.
195
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,559
Only to salve his conscience over making
a fortune out of his supermarkets.
196
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,831
Christmas to him is just an excuse
to persuade a lot of people
197
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,996
to buy a lot of things
they can't afford,
198
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,317
which people they don't like
don't want and...don't like.
199
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,794
I think you're being beastly
about poor Richard.
200
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,071
If you spend Christmas alone,
you've only got yourself to blame.
201
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,474
Possibly.
202
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,035
Still, one did think
that one's best friend
203
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,515
would support one.
Especially at Christmas.
204
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,790
It's no use
trying to make me feel guilty.
205
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,831
I wouldn't dream of it.
206
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,316
I suppose it'll be on Christmas Day
207
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,069
that the full implication of
my new situation will come home to me.
208
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,033
Spending it all alone,
as I shall have to.
209
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,589
You're making me feel dreadful.
No, no. Don't feel sorry for me.
210
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,758
IfI can get through this
first Christmas without undue trauma,
211
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,030
it'll be a feat of moral courage
212
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,799
that will keep me going
for the rest of the year.
213
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,997
-l...
I shall just resign myself
214
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,192
to spending a very boring Christmas
here, all alone.
215
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,880
I suppose one shouldn't desert
one's friends, especially at Christmas.
216
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,639
I don't want you
making sacrifices for me.
217
00:11:57,680 --> 00:12:01,560
I'll come to you for Christmas.
Oh, good. That's settled, then.
218
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,160
We'll come straight back here
after matins.
219
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,830
Run along home and come back in
the morning with your and asses.
220
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:11,157
Made out of vegetables.
No. We'll need them for lunch.
221
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,519
(Banging)
222
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:20,838
Oh, blast.
Ned, do you have to make so much noise?
223
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,951
Nearly finished, ma'am.
224
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,518
Oh, well. Joseph will have to be bald.
225
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:34,072
Now...what do you think of those?
The holy family.
226
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,033
Oh, very nice, Mrs Forbes.
227
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,951
There, ma'am. The stable.
Oh, excellent.
228
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,231
Who said we couldn't knock up a crib
if we put our minds to it?
229
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,840
Let's put the figures in,
see how they look.
230
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:56,915
Oh, dear. You've made the figures
too big, Mrs... too big, Mrs Forbes.
231
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,429
You mean
you've made the stable too small.
232
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,872
Well, of course, ma'am, yes.
But you didn't say any size.
233
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,911
I left that to your intelligence.
234
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,951
There was a risk but how was I to know
235
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,356
you were going to make
something the size of a bird...table?
236
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,432
Ned.
237
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,069
Ned.
238
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,079
"Adopt. Adapt. Improve."
That's what you said, Mrs Forbes.
239
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,556
Yes. But I said nothing about "destroy".
240
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,120
It's too small.
You'll have to make a larger one.
241
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:34,040
And if Bertie's kennel is missing
in the morning, there'll be trouble.
242
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,951
Coo-eel
Oh, in the studio, Marjory.
243
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,719
Oh, morning, Miss Frobisher.
Hello, Ned.
244
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,355
Oh, Audrey, aren't those lovely?
Oh, thank you, Marjory.
245
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,755
But haven't you made them
a bit too small?
246
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,234
Too small?
247
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,510
Well, surely. I mean, look.
248
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,680
You said nothing about size.
Well, I have now. My size.
249
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,872
Well, perhaps mine
should go outside the stable.
250
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,991
Oh, no, that'll look silly.
251
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,953
Besides, that donkey just isn't right.
252
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,436
They were supposed to have come
all the way from Nazareth on it.
253
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,632
That wouldn't have got further
than the end of the drive.
254
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,394
Oh, look. "The women" are at it already.
255
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,432
Afternoon, Mrs Beecham. Hello, Lily.
Sorry I'm late.
256
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,711
I'll supervise the flowers
when we've set up the crib.
257
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,115
It's awfully dark.
Ned, switch the lights on.
258
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,719
Yes, Mrs Forbes.
259
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,313
No. The chancel.
260
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,632
No. That's the organ.
261
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,393
That's it.
262
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,670
That was it. You see,
he can't even manage a simple switch.
263
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,677
That's right, Ned.
Now don't you touch another thing.
264
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,279
All right, over here.
265
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,596
What on earth...?
266
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,473
Marjory, look at that.
Oh, it's divine!
267
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,878
It is anything but divine.
It is common and vulgar and...new.
268
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,355
Ned, help me remove this monstrosity.
Yes, Mrs Forbes.
269
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,277
Oh, good. It's arrived.
270
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,994
Is this your work?
Yes. Rather snazzy, isn't it?
271
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,031
Frightfully.
I might have guessed.
272
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,469
The rector said the crib
is provided by the manor.
273
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,318
Not by the manor. By me.
274
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,079
It has been provided by me
since I can remember.
275
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,396
And before that, by the family,
since we...
276
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,033
Yes, since the year 2,000BC.
277
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,596
Don't be ridiculous.
They didn't have cribs in the year 2,000BC.
278
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,110
The point is that, by tradition,
I do the crib every year.
279
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,518
And at a cost of considerable time
and effort, a crib I have done.
280
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,515
(Laughs)
281
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,239
Oh, I think we've done
better than that, don't you?
282
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:40,672
Just wait until you've seen this one
in its full glory. Now watch this.
283
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,271
(Jingle Bells plays)
284
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,358
Now ['ll speed it up
$0 you can see the complete cycle.
285
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,551
(Music gets faster)
286
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,919
(Winds down)
287
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,952
At the right speed,
it does that once every 15 minutes.
288
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,753
Very ingenious, if I may say so, sir.
289
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,154
No, you may not say so.
290
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,670
He's right. People in Oxford Street
sit for hours watching that.
291
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,518
In Oxford Street?
Yes.
292
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,358
It was in one of my shop windows.
293
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,914
When I heard I was expected
to provide a crib...
294
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,076
A crib, yes. Not a planetarium.
295
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,199
I suppose it has nodding donkeys
with eyes that light up every 15 minutes.
296
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,358
There's a guiding star somewhere.
Of course there is.
297
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,193
Oh, it ought to twinkle.
298
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,231
This is supposed to be Bethlehem.
299
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,999
You're making it look like
Tokyo High Street.
300
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,633
They forgot the circuit-breaker.
301
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:41,197
Why not go the whole hog and have a
neon sign saying, "DeVere's Pork Pies"?
302
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:45,552
There's no circuit-breaker
to make the star twinkle.
303
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,319
Oh, er...I've got one of those, sir.
304
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,194
I couldn't borrow it, could I?
Of course, sir. I'll go and fetch it.
305
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,639
Oh, thank you, Ned.
306
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,992
In no time at all, we'll have
that little star twinkling fit to bust.
307
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,720
It's absolutely super.
I knew you'd all like it eventually.
308
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,876
(Bleeping)
What's that funny noise?
309
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,479
I'm wanted on the phone.
310
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,751
There isn't a telephone in there,
as well, is there?
311
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,079
(Bottles clink)
312
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,555
What have you got there?
A crate of sherry.
313
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,591
Just in case the rector calls round.
314
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,718
The crib's arrived, by the way.
What does it look like?
315
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,434
Very ritzy. I wouldn't mind
a weekend there myself.
316
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,278
(Laughs) Ah...
317
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:38,352
We have come a long way together,
Bedrich.
318
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,749
You are too young to remember
319
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,792
but did I ever tell you
of that Christmas we had together
320
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,151
all those years ago,
just after your father died?
321
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,599
Often.
322
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,679
We were so poor, we only had a stick
of brushwood for a Christmas tree.
323
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,996
And we couldn't afford decorations.
324
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,475
You and I spent hours...
Hours.
325
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,592
..cutting up orange peel
and pictures from magazines
326
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,075
and old bits of silver paper.
327
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,590
And for Christmas dinner we had...
We had carrot stew.
328
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,755
Ohl
329
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,036
But, you know, in spite of that,
330
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,037
looking back on it
331
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,550
and thinking of all the Christmases
we had before and since...
332
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,471
I think that that one...
333
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,119
was the most miserable of the lot.
What?
334
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,038
Mind you, if anybody
had come to the door
335
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,754
and offered us shop-bought stuff,
336
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,791
we would have told them where to go.
337
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,477
Oh, my God, I've done it again!
338
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,080
What's wrong?
Audrey. What have I done to her?
339
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:42,795
I dread to think, since she won't
even come for Christmas Day.
340
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,229
She couldn't find a crib
so she made one.
341
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,554
What out of?
342
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,433
Orange peel and silver paper,
by the look of it.
343
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,914
A decoration.
344
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,793
And I've trumped it
with a new one from the store.
345
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,117
Just think how we would have felt.
Hopping mad.
346
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,231
Just how Audrey's feeling now.
347
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,317
Where are you going?
To the church.
348
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,078
I'm going to remove my crib.
349
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,037
Marjory.
Yes?
350
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,434
You know it's the thought that counts?
351
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,313
Yes. You said that
about my present to you last year.
352
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:17,070
Did I? Well, I think
we should regard this as a thought.
353
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,839
It's Richard's Christmas present
to the parish.
354
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,794
We should have been more gracious.
"We"? Have you changed your mind?
355
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,990
No. As a crib, it's still horrid.
356
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,714
But as a thought,
it is kind and acceptable.
357
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,479
What shall we do with ours?
Get it out of sight.
358
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,352
Audrey, could I have a word?
359
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,597
You really mustn't let Ned...
Never mind about Ned.
360
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,520
I've come to take my crib away.
I think yours is so much better.
361
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,915
Oh, how can you say that?
362
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,519
There's no comparison.
I mean, you've got to admit
363
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,394
that mine lacks a certain je ne sais quoi.
That's French, by the way.
364
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,751
On the contrary, I think yours
has much more "quoi" than mine.
365
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,633
Anyway, mine's going.
Nol I insist. Mine is.
366
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,433
Now, now, Now, Now, Now.
What's all this about?
367
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,518
Nothing, Rector.
It's just that we seem to have two cribs
368
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,120
and I think we ought to have
Mrs fforbes-Hamilton's.
369
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,197
And I insist that we have Mr DeVere's.
370
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,153
I see. Well, then, perhaps
I'd better be the judge.
371
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,952
Oh. Very well.
372
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,393
Ahh. (Chuckles) Yes.
373
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,470
Ah.
374
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:23,354
But...when you think of the amount
of work that has gone into it,
375
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,109
this is much more in keeping
with the spirit of Christmas.
376
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,309
Indeed.
377
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:32,558
Well...my impartial judgement is
378
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:37,037
that I find myself taking
Mrs forbes-Hamilton's part in this dispute.
379
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,993
I quite agree with you.
It should be Mr DeVere's crib.
380
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,874
But...
So be it. Come along, Marjory.
381
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,112
(Organ plays)
382
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,513
Happy Christmas, Richard.
And fo you, Audrey.
383
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,278
4 O Come, All Ye Faithful
384
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,358
Are you going so soon?
I's the blessing of the crib.
385
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,837
I'm very sorry about your crib.
386
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,269
Oh, I haven't given it another thought.
387
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,757
I think I've got everything
fixed up all right now.
388
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,312
Let us pray.
389
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,798
Almighty God, who, as on this night,
390
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:50,118
did cause his only begotten son
to come down from heaven and be born,
391
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:54,836
vouchsafe, we beseech thee,
so fo bless and hallow this crib,
392
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,589
wherein are shown
the wonders of that sacred birth.
393
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,074
Amen.
394
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,952
ALL: Amen.
395
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,077
J Jingle Bells
396
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,111
(Music slows, stops)
397
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,718
(Music speeds up)
398
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,593
(Slows down)
399
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,431
J National Anthem
400
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,831
Isn't she wonderful?
401
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,269
To think she had to learn
all that by heart.
402
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,351
Right, now, formalities over.
403
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,598
It's abook and a film
and it's five... no, six words.
404
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,710
Marjory, are you quite well?
405
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,080
Well, if it wasn't for the hunchback...
Oops!
406
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,031
Oh, I've given it away.
407
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,879
What on earth are you doing?
Charades.
408
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,991
It's time for party games now.
409
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,395
You can't have party games
without a party.
410
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:13,150
Oh, come on, Aud. We always used to have
party games after Christmas dinner.
411
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,671
At the manor it was Sardines.
That's what I'll miss most this Christmas.
412
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,031
We could play Sardines if you like.
In a house this size?
413
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:25,472
At the manor, squeezing oneself
into a poky hidey-hole was a game.
414
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,194
Here, it's a permanent state of affairs.
415
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:32,029
Well, we must do something.
You've been a misery-guts all day.
416
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,390
Why not have a drink?
Drown your sorrows.
417
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,909
I would if there were any drink
in the house.
418
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,237
If hadn't been so stupid
we could have been up at the manor.
419
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,396
I bet they're having a wonderful time.
420
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,279
Mother.
-Mm?
421
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,470
Oughin't we to be doing something?
422
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,711
It is getting dark. Draw the curtains.
423
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,711
Well, what about the other ones?
424
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,832
We've got to leave something
to look forward to this evening.
425
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:17,074
Aud, if you don't want to play Charades,
what about Blind Man's Buff?
426
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,077
With two of us?
427
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,589
I'm only trying to cheer you up.
428
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:26,350
If hadn't been so pig-headed we could
be at the manor, playing Sardines.
429
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,439
Yes, it used to be rather intimate,
squashed together in our hidey-hole.
430
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,678
Yes. I remember I hid in
the old butler's silver-safe one year.
431
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,430
Martin was the first to find me.
It quite revived our marriage.
432
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,471
Till I realised who it was.
433
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,239
You should have gone to the manor.
You really should.
434
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,635
I know I should.
Still, if you didn't want to.
435
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,990
Of course I did. For obvious reasons.
436
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,790
But no. I had to insist on
spending my first Christmas alone.
437
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,435
Just to prove I'm not the sort of person
that cracks up easily.
438
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,038
It's not true.
439
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,310
So much for my brave face.
440
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,475
(Fizing)
441
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,549
Ohl
442
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,233
Good old Ned. They do flash off and on.
Every two days.
443
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,192
Visitors, Mrs Forbes.
444
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,639
Visitors? Who?
445
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,832
Mr DeVere and Mrs Pol...er...
446
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,951
His mother.
Well, show them in.
447
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,555
Will you come this way, please?
448
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,796
Hello, Audrey. Marjory.
449
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,878
Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas, Richard. Mrs Poo.
450
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,709
Happy Christmas. And to you.
Happy Christmas, one and all.
451
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,831
Especially one.
Down, Marjory.
452
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,871
Well, come and sit down.
453
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,196
Oh, thank you!
Thank you.
454
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,800
What brings you here?
We were bored.
455
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,754
So we thought we'd join your party.
You seem fo be having a wonderful time.
456
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,393
We are, aren't we, Marjory?
457
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,318
Aren't we, Marjory?
What? Oh. Yes, we are now.
458
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,597
Well, drinks, anybody?
459
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,871
Yes, I'd love one. Oh. Sorry.
460
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,952
Thank you, sir.
461
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,073
This is going to be fun.
You've joined us just in time for Sardines.
462
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,794
Oh, no, thank you.
I couldn't eat another thing.
463
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,073
It's a game.
One of your old English games?
464
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:24,112
Right. I'l be It.
And I bet you never find me.
465
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,155
In the broom cupboard under the stairs.
466
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,679
Wait a minute.
467
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,796
I don't think I understand this game.
468
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,593
Oh, splendid.
I'l have to explain it to you.
469
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,110
You come with me.
You two, close your eyes and start counting.
470
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,074
To 1,000.
37759
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