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[snoring]
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00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,200
[theme music plays]
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00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,560
[sighs] I haven't seen Liz in days.
4
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,520
Garfield?
5
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,000
You don't look so good today.
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00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,160
[sighs] Here we go again.
7
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,720
[Garfield] Wouldn't it be easier
to just buy her dinner?
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00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,400
Can I help you hold your stethoscope?
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00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,160
Jon...
There's nothing wrong with Garfield.
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00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,120
[Garfield] See, she knows.
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00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,680
Nothing except his weight, of course.
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00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,360
-What do you know?
-Which reminds me...
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00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,720
I better see how he's doing
in that department.
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00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:09,480
[groans] Two more pounds
and I'll need a forklift to do this.
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00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,440
Sarcastic remarks are my job.
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00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:19,640
[sighs] You're going to inaugurate
my new state-of-the-art animal scale.
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00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,120
Jon, would you turn the dial
to "Portly Pussycat"?
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00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,720
[laughs]
"Portly Pussycat," just as you asked.
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00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,760
[scale groans]
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00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,720
-[Garfield gasps]
-[scale] Get off me...
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-you overweight tub of pasta and goo.
-[Garfield whimpers and yells]
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00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,680
[gasps] That thing talks,
and it screamed at me, and it's rude.
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00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,920
I forgot to tell you,
this is a talking scale.
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00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,560
[scale] Come back here,
you bucket of lard.
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00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,520
-I wasn't finished with you.
-Oh, my!
26
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,520
Garfield's heavier than I thought.
27
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,360
It says he needs to lose two pounds
right away,
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00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,360
by the end of the week, if possible.
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00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,520
And if he doesn't?
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00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,080
Then we have no choice
but to send him to the cat spa.
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00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,480
[sighs] The cat spa? That sounds great.
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00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,800
Massages, long naps.
More massages, more long naps...
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00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,640
They'll put him on a strict low-fat diet.
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00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,240
...long naps, and then--
[gasps] "strict low-fat diet"?
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This low-fat diet. I can eat lasagna,
and pizza, and pork fried rice,
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00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,720
and bacon wrapped in bacon, right?
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00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,360
Here's a video of the place I had in mind.
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[narrator] Welcome to Maggie's Cat Spa,
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the world's leading health resort
for lazy, overweight cats with attitude.
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00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:41,840
When we brought Hector to Maggie's Cat Spa
he was eating 12 meals a day.
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00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,160
He got so fat that when he had to walk
42
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:48,280
from the living room to the kitchen,
he took a cab.
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00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,960
But thanks to Maggie's Cat Spa,
this is all behind us now.
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00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,000
Look at Hector now.
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00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,680
Doesn't he look
positively healthy and alert?
46
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,600
[sighs]
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00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,800
[narrator] At Maggie's Cat Spa,
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00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:06,280
your beloved pet will be placed
on a strict regimen of exercise and diet.
49
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,000
Garfield can't go to that place.
50
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,080
Yeah, listen to Jon.
He's right, for a change.
51
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,760
Either he loses two pounds
by the end of the week...
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00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,760
or it's the cat spa for him.
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00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,200
[both yelling]
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00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,720
Take the scale home with you
so you can monitor his progress.
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00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,840
I'll do my best to slim him down.
Do you think you can do it, Garfield?
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00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,480
-[munching]
-Garfield, that's Liz's lunch!
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Watching all that exercise made me...
hungry. [snickers]
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00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,600
[Jon] Dinner's ready, Garfield.
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I want lasagna, and ribs,
and Chinese food,
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00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,040
and chocolate cream pie,
and roast beef with a side of roast beef,
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and third helpings of my second helpings.
And... [gasps]
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00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,040
[dramatic music playing]
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00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,640
What's this?
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00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,480
-Enjoy your lettuce leaf, Garfield.
-[Garfield gasps]
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00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,200
[sighs] I was expecting food.
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00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,160
I put him on that strict diet
you recommended, Liz.
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You know these things aren't bad
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00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,040
if you cover them in whipped cream
and chocolate sauce.
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00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,520
[groans] I'll call you back, Liz.
Let's see where we stand now.
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00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,920
[scale] Hey, you gained another pound.
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00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,840
-Nice going, fatso.
-[Garfield] I--
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00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,440
A few more ounces
and you'll qualify for your own zip code.
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00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:39,800
[Jon] See?
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00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,760
Now you have to lose three pounds.
75
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,960
I'll worry about it in the morning.
76
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,560
I don't know what'll get him
to take this seriously.
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[yawning]
Jon won't send me to that fat-cat place.
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00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,040
Even if he did, it wouldn't be so bad.
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00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,360
[yawns]
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00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,800
[snoring]
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00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,560
[to self] ...wouldn't be so bad.
...wouldn't be so bad.
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-[spooky music playing]
-[thunder cracks]
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00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,280
[Garfield] Let me out! Please, let me out!
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I don't belong here.
85
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,680
It's all a big mistake, I tell you.
I'm not overweight.
86
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,600
I just have a very thick thing of fur.
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00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,200
[Hector] I wouldn't do that,
if I were you.
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00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,760
Nurse Psycho doesn't like it
when we scream in terror.
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00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,040
Nurse Psycho?
90
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:37,120
You don't want to know what she did
to the last fat cat that complained.
91
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,080
[gasps] What did she do?
92
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:42,080
Let's put it this way... it was me.
93
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,800
[groaning] Help! Jon!
94
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,920
Or better still, someone competent.
95
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,600
Help! [screaming]
96
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000
Wait... I have to get a grip.
97
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,640
This Nurse Psycho
couldn't possibly be that bad.
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00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,640
[grunting] Where's the new fat cat?
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00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,400
-[thunder cracks]
-Yeah, she could possibly be that bad.
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00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,680
-There you are!
-No!
101
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,280
Have you been screaming in terror?
102
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,800
[groaning] Who, me?
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00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,800
No. I was practicing my yodeling.
Here, listen!
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00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,040
[nervous yodeling]
105
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,760
We're going to get you into shape.
106
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,000
First... dinner.
107
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,520
Dinner's good.
108
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,000
I hope you like pea.
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00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,880
Peas. Sure, I like peas.
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-No... pea! One pea.
-[screams]
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00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,480
[Garfield gasps] That's a...
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00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,120
That's a pretty small pea.
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00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,800
Would you all please turn away?
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00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,440
I don't want to cry
when my fans are watching.
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00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,520
-Eat it!
-Can I eat half now,
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00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,120
and then take the rest home
in a doggy bag?
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Eat it! [aggressively]
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00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,640
You'll start exercising
as soon as you finish.
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00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,120
As soon as I finish it.
Okay, well... here goes.
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00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,680
[belches]
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My compliments to the chef.
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00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,560
Now, it's time for your workout.
123
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,600
Wait. I need time
to digest that huge meal.
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00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,200
[thunder cracks]
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00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:28,920
[Nurse Psycho] Up, down, up, down,
up, down, up, down...
126
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,680
Now repeat, for the rest of all eternity.
127
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:37,080
No. [panting]
I must've lost two pounds by now.
128
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,680
[scale] Sorry, pal. You're still fat.
129
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,440
[yells]
130
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,840
[Garfield panting]
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00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,160
[Nurse Psycho] Faster!
My grandmother can run faster than that.
132
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:59,720
[panting] Help! She makes her grandmother
do this too!
133
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,800
I must've lost the weight by now.
134
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,640
[scale] Didn't you hear me, Jumbo?
135
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,440
You're still fat.
136
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,560
[sighs and gasps]
137
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,600
-Faster!
-Sure. Oh, boy.
138
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:22,040
-[Nurse Psycho] Faster! Faster!
-[grunts]
139
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,280
We don't like slackers around here.
140
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,680
What am I doing here?
141
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,600
Why are you doing this to me,
and why is everything in black and white?
142
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,680
I must've lost the weight by now.
143
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,640
-[scale] Guess what, Chubby!
-[gasps]
144
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:44,040
That's right. You're fatter than ever.
Even your flab is fat.
145
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,760
You're so fat that when
you sit around the house...
146
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,200
[gravelly voice] you sit around the house.
147
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,280
Knock off the insults!
148
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,840
[scale] You're so fat
that when you step on a scale
149
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,920
it says "one at a time, please."
150
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,920
You're so fat
that you need a watch on each wrist:
151
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,160
one for each time zone.
152
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:12,200
Don't be afraid, Garfield.
You're among friends. In fact...
153
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,840
all your friends are here.
154
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,000
I don't see any friends.
155
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,720
Here are your friends, Garfield.
156
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,800
Pizza, Ice cream, pie, cake,
157
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,960
cheese, roast beef, and, of course...
158
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,760
lasagna.
159
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,480
They're all your friends.
160
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,360
[all] We're your friends, Garfield.
161
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:37,720
-[gasps] Get away from me!
-[food] Eat us, Garfield!
162
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,440
We're delicious and fattening!
163
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,040
We're your friends, Garfield.
164
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,440
-No. I have to lose weight.
-We're delicious.
165
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,720
-[Garfield screams]
-[thud]
166
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,960
[gasping and panting]
167
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,360
I have to lose weight!
I have to lose weight!
168
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,800
I don't know what to do, Liz.
I can't get him to exercise.
169
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:10,840
-One, two, one, two, one, two...
-[blowing whistle]
170
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,920
[Liz] Jon... is something wrong?
171
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,640
[panting] I'll do sit ups after
I finish my aerobics.
172
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,520
[groans] I'll have to call you back, Liz.
I seem to be having hallucinations.
173
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,520
-[Garfield panting]
-Garfield, I'm so impressed.
174
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,240
I'm sure you've lost at least two pounds.
175
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,600
[tense music playing]
176
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,520
He'd better not insult me.
177
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,280
[scale] You still need to lose two pounds.
178
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,640
-[Garfield and Jon scream]
-[scale laughs]
179
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:46,400
I can't understand it.
You must've lost weight. You must have!
180
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,320
Oh! I see what the problem is!
181
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,600
I was meant to set it
for "Portly Pussycat" and, by accident,
182
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,800
I set it for "Pint-Size Parakeet."
183
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,040
[snickers] You're fine.
184
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,280
In fact, you may not have had to lose
two pounds in the first place.
185
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,200
-But it's good you dropped a few pounds.
-[Garfield grunts]
186
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,480
[Jon] Garfield? Why do you look so... mad?
187
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,840
Garfield? Leave me alone!
Don't hurt me. Help!
188
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,440
-Help!
-[Garfield grunts]
189
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,440
I should go after him...
190
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,600
but I have some more important things
to do.
191
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,520
-Let's see what you weigh, Jumbo.
-[elephant roars]
192
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:33,800
[scale] What are you, an elephant?
You really need to lose weight. [strained]
193
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,000
You need... [distorted voice]
[powering down]
194
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,800
Yeah, I know it's cruel.
195
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,880
but there are some things in this world
you just can't forgive...
196
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,400
and making me exercise is most of them.
197
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,720
[theme music plays]
198
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:58,320
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