All language subtitles for Ramy s03e07 Second Opinion Doctor.eng

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

- Says here you're not an organ donor.
MO: Yeah. [speaking Arabic]

- It's haram to save a life?

- I don't want anybody
mutilating my body after I die.

I mean, I'll donate money,
shoes, whatever,

but I'm not meeting Allah
without my kidneys.

AHMED: I'm not even supposed
to be reading your file.

I told you,
I can't be your doctor.

After Ramy,
I'm done helping friends.

MO: Don't flatter yourself.

You're
my second-opinion doctor.

I saw another guy first.
[speaking Arabic]

I already did the test.

Why don't you just read it,
okay?

- Well, your cholesterol
is insane.

You're prediabetic.

You're basically
on the verge of a coronary.

- That's what
my first doctor said.

Did you talk to him?
- No, it's obvious.

Look at the way you eat.

- I follow
a Mediterranean diet.

- Eating the falafel
you fry in your truck

isn't Mediterranean.

You need to eat healthier.

- Stop calling me fat.
All right?

I'm just prepared.

AHMED: Prepared for what?

- I don't know. Apocalypse.

Pandemic part two,
three, four maybe.

My body can go
without food or water

for at least two, three weeks.

It's like a savings account.

- Please do not try that.
You will die.

- Could you just get off

of this traditional
Western medicine?

I'm talking about some
sahaba level stuff here.

How do you think our ancestors
traversed the desert?

Without food or water,
it goes in your fatty deposits

and it changes that
to ketonic energy.

And then it metabolizes
into water.

- Stop listening to Joe Rogan.

- It's science, okay?

I think I'm having a gut issue.

[whispering]
I just need a poop transplant.

- A fecal transplant?
MO: Yeah.

- Have you lost your mind?

You're--you're Mo Rogan.
MO: Fine.

I did get it off of Rogan,
but it's true.

The doctor on there said,
with healthy poop,

it can transform
your entire body chemistry

within two days, all right?

I can transform
my entire...cholesterol levels

without doing shit.

I just need new shit.

- New shit? That's what--
[door clicks]

MAJED: Uncle Ahmed.
MO: [speaking Arabic]

We're in the middle
of a session--

- [speaking Arabic]

The nurse said you didn't
have a patient.

AHMED: I don't.
I'll be there in a minute.

- Come here, Majed.

MO: Uncle Ahmed?

- That's a real patient, okay?

Her husband has
a rare condition.

They flew him from Saudi
for treatment.

We've been trying
for almost a year.

Students have been
observing him.

Nothing's working.
- [speaking Arabic]

AHMED: Yeah. I got a lot
to deal with, okay?

So I need you to go home
and have some vegetables

and take a yoga class.

- Yoga?

AHMED: Yes. Yoga.

- I'd rather give up
my kidneys.

[bright electronic music]

♪ ♪

- What are you doing out here?

- My mama told me
to wait outside.

- Do you wanna do
some listening?

- Okay.
- There you go.

Just grab it like that.

You just put it to your heart.

Have fun.

[heart beating]

Hanan, I'm so sorry

I was with a patient.
He abuses the medical system.

I looked at Faisal's numbers
this morning,

and unfortunately,
it's the same as yesterday.

- We know his time is near.

That's why I wanted
to speak with you.

We're making arrangements
for after.

In the last ten months,

we've been in awe of you
as a Muslim man.

The way you practice medicine,

the care you've shown
to our son,

and all the prayers
you've made with us.

- I wish
I could have done more.

- Faisal's illness brought us
closer together.

We've had conversations
couples don't usually have.

We've talked about the type
of man I would like to be with

after he dies.

Faisal has been so great
about discussing it together.

- Wow. That's very open.

- And I kept thinking,

all I can pray for...

is a man like Ahmed.

And then I thought...

what if it was Ahmed?

- What?

HANAN: I shared
how I was feeling with Faisal,

and he said he was
thinking the exact same thing.

It was last month,
when he could talk.

- Oh, right. Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

- I know you're married.

But I also know
there are instances

where our faith allows a man
to be married to more than one.

- Are you--

are you proposing to me?

- Of course
we'll have to discuss it

with your wife as well.

Islamically,
she must be involved.

- Hanan, I'm very flattered.
I am.

And look,
there's so many men out there

and someone as special as you,

I'm sure it's easy
to find someone.

- I've been on all
the Muslim dating apps.

Every guy is the same.

After talking to them
for an hour,

I realize they're looking
for a wife

to replace their mother.

And I'm looking
for a father for my son.

I mean, think of your friends.

Do you know any single,
reliable Muslim men?

- No, uh, not my friends.

No, no.

[breathing heavily]

HANAN: Look, you don't have
to answer now.

- Okay.

- I just wanted you to know

you have Faisal's blessings

while he's still with us.

- It's kind of hard to tell...

what's going on with him.

I--

- Faisal, blink twice
if you approve.

- That feels like
regular blinking.

I-I can't tell if the pace
was simultaneous.

Uh, it's-it's...

- Faisal, habibi,
I know you're tired.

[speaking Arabic]

Nod your head so Ahmed knows.

[air pumping]

- Are you nodding
from what Hanan was saying?

Is that the only direction
you can move your head?

[speaking Arabic]

[breathing heavily]

- Look, it's not like
I've considered

something like this before.

To be honest, I judged it.

But in this situation,
I just feel...

This could be right.

- What do we know?

Do we know
if anything is right?

[breathing shakily]

- No, it--it's the air.
I think I can't breathe.

HANAN: What do you do
about that?

- Holy shit.

HANAN: [speaking Arabic]

- This is amazing.

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- Mo, stop it.
You're not gonna convince me.

- Bro, get over here. Okay?

Look, man, you gotta do it.

This is what
you've been waiting for.

- What are you talking about?

I can't do this. It's insane.

No. No.

- How long
you been wanting a kid?

You've been praying
that Yasmina changes her mind,

but she won't.

Okay, now God gave you
this whole other thing.

- This isn't right.

I can't.
- You're allowed four.

You're struggling at two?

What's the matter with you?
Two is a cake walk.

Look, I know
it's a little alternative,

but it's a legitimate solution.

Um, like a poop transplant.

- I can't have a second wife.

- You're the most
indecisive person I know.

I'm starting to question
your faith in Allah.

- Why my faith in God?

- 'Cause you pray
five times a day,

but you can't see a clear sign

when it's right in front
of your face.

It's right here,
and you can't see it.

Have you lost your mind?

- You gotta put that away.
The students use this.

- This is as close as you're
getting to having a baby.

YASMINA: [sighs]

Ahmed.
AHMED: Come on.

YASMINA: What's with all
the measurements?

I think we're fine.

- I told you we should have
fixed the foundation

before we moved in.

Now the house is on a tilt.

It's affecting the qibla.

We need to be at compass 71.3,

true direction 58.4.

But the coordinates change
every month.

- So God's not gonna accept
our prayer

if we're half a degree left
of the Kaaba?

- I don't exactly know
how Allah judges.

Do you? Did he tell you?

- What's wrong tonight?

- Y-you know that patient
I've been telling you about,

um, from Saudi?

- The one with the kid?

- Yeah. You know, uh--

Yeah, he's, uh...

not gonna make it.

He's dying.
- [sighs]

Habibi, I'm so sorry.

- Yeah, and, you know,
his, uh...

his wife was saying--

well, actually he
and, uh, his wife were saying

that, you know, there's, um,

not a lot of good Muslim men,

which I think
isn't really fair.

- Yeah.

- You know,
we're such a small population,

and we have all this
expectation of masculinity

put on us
while simultaneously trying

to shed terrorist stereotypes.

- Yeah. It's tough.

- It is, right?
It's very, very tough.

It's, you know, um--

and, you know, she was,
um, asking, you know...

kind of, um, wondering, uh...

if I could, you know,

help with, uh, some of the...

family duties after he passes,
you know?

Like at times of war
when men would die.

- When there was
a shortage of men

and they took on other wives?

I was always afraid something
like this would happen.

- What? You were?

- Yeah, it's in our faith,

and I know
how by-the-book you are,

and I know how attractive
you are to women,

especially when the pool
of men are so small.

Muslim men are at war.

- Uh, we are?

- Yes.

We've lost our men to porn,
white women,

general colonized thinking.

We're at war.

- Well, you know, I'm at war
with nobody, you know?

Obviously I'm a pacifist.

I'm just telling you
what happened.

- So...

You wanna do this?
- What? No!

Not a--not at all. God, no.

I was...just thinking.

You know?

Just, uh, a little bit.

Just a tiny bit.

You know?

Sh-sh-she does have a-a kid,

and I've--

you know, I've always wanted
a kid, you know,

for-for a long time,
and, you know...

since you don't want one--

- Don't turn this on me.

- I just wanted to give you
all the info so you can decide.

YASMINA: So I can decide?

- Yeah, Islamically, you'd have
to approve something like this.

- But I have to approve
something you wanna do.

You want me to want this
for both of us?

What the fuck is actually
wrong with you?

- Maybe you should
just talk to her.

- So I've been married to you
since I was fucking 22,

but I'm supposed to go
to a woman you just met

so she can tell me
what you want?

- We should pray.
Let's just pray.

- I'm praying upstairs.

- That's not--

[breathing shakily]

The house is sinking.

[door slams]

- [sustained] Ohm.

- Ameen.

INSTRUCTOR:
Let's go into Cat-Cow.

[tranquil music]

♪ ♪

From here,
let's go into a back bend.

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

INSTRUCTOR:
Downward-Facing Dog.

- [grunts]

♪ ♪

Dena?

INSTRUCTOR:
Let's get on the floor.

Shavasana.

♪ ♪

MO: What's up with all
the body parts flying around?

You got tits, ass, camel-toe.

I'm just trying to exercise.
The fuck is going on?

- [chuckles]

Well, the clothes
are for flexibility.

- Mm.
- But I'm sorry

that we don't dress
to accommodate your hormones.

- I mean,
why don't you just do it

like at the mosque, right?

Keep the men in the front,
women in the back,

everybody's in prayer mode.

Everybody's just focused,
in the moment.

- Dude, what's wrong with you?

- What?

I'm just saying
most of the men that go there

are not attractive to women,
all right?

They're either
out of shape or gay.

- It's so weird.

Like, you're our age,

but you think like my uncle.

Sometimes I think the old ways
are gonna die out,

and then I talk to you.

- You know what?
Ahmed's getting a second wife.

Now that's disturbing.

DENA: What?
- Yeah.

DENA: Are you serious?
- Yeah, I'm dead serious.

His patient's dying,
and he's just swooping in.

Now that's old thinking.

- Ahmed?

No fucking way.
MO: Yeah.

- That's the kind of thing
I would have expected from you.

- [chuckles] That's right.
Wait, what?

- By the way, Yasmina's never
gonna let that happen.

God, this whole multiple wives
bullshit rule

is so patriarchal.

It's just--they do that,

then it should apply
to women too.

It's gotta go both ways.

- [chuckles]
Want a second husband?

- Maybe I do.

I have different sides
to my personality.

Maybe I wanna express them
with different men.

- Ugh.

- Also, you know what?
It's illegal.

You cannot marry more than one
person in this country.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- What do you want from us?

- Let me be clear
about my intentions.

If I didn't have Majed,
I would never bring this up.

I'm just looking for the right
person to help me raise my son.

I'm looking
for a practical setup,

the halal security
of a marriage contract.

- So this is about money?

- I don't mean
to sound stereotypical,

but I'm Saudi;
I don't need money.

This is spiritual.

I feel like I've met
a rare soul.

- Do you love my husband?

- I'm not delusional.

True love hasn't had time
to grow.

But there is
a strong attraction, yes.

He has qualities
I deeply admire

that I'd hope
he would pass on to Majed.

- I get it. You love your son.

[sighs]

I think you're going
though a lot right now,

and it seems like you're not
thinking clearly.

I would take the time
our faith gives you to process.

The 'iddah says
there has to be four months

between the funeral of a spouse
and a new marriage.

- I'm not married anymore.

- What?

- Faisal and I
divorced months ago

for this reason.

I wanted to talk to men
while he was still alive.

And 'iddah for divorce
is three menstrual cycles.

I've just had my third.

[tense music]

HAROUN: Time of death,
11:46 a.m.

- Are you sure?

- What?

- Are you sure he's dead?

- Yeah.

- Let's give it a sec.

[machine whirring]

- [slurping]

[whirring stops]

AHMED: You sound great, Steve.

Somehow, you're improving.

- I don't even believe in God.

AHMED: Astaghfirullah.

- Steve, it shows here
that you're an organ donor.

STEVE: Yeah, of course.
I wanna help people.

- Wild, it feels like all your
organs are all secondhand.

- Actually, his organs
are in great shape.

They don't support as much.

- The controller doesn't need
my organs when I die.

- Controller?
The fuck you talking about?

STEVE:
Bostrom's simulation theory.

This is all
one giant computer game.

The way to succeed at this game

is to be as entertaining
as possible

because you don't want
the controller to delete you.

- You must hate the controller
that created your character.

I mean, you have no features.
STEVE: Less is more.

I'm inherently entertaining.

So I really don't have
to do much to please him.

Have you seen how awesome
my girlfriend is?

We turn heads.

This simulation
is thrilled with us.

It's you two I'm worried about.
- Us?

STEVE: I don't want you two
to get deleted.

Ahmed,
you must marry this woman.

This is your chance to finally
do something exciting.

Fuck being a doctor.

This is your ticket.

Take it.

Why do you think
Mo's cholesterol is all fucked?

I'm telling you, man,
the controller

is sending you a warning shot.

- Listen, man, time's ticking.

The guy just died, okay?
You gotta make a decision.

I have a meal set up
with Amu Hakeem.

- Who?
MO: Amu Hakeem, bro.

The guy's amazing.
He's a Brooklyn legend.

He has four wives.

I've been consulting him
on this.

- You've been consulting
about me?

- No, about me.

All right? The guy's a wizard.

But this fell into your lap.

Take advantage of it.

STEVE: [chuckles]

Amazing simulation.

AMU HAKEEM: These are my wives.

This is Nafisa. This is Amira.

This is Aldia
and our daughter Nadirah.

And this is Munira
and our son Amir.

Hamdullah.

- Gorgeous. What an operation.

- [speaking Arabic]

You know, our faith teaches
the most important part

is that every partner
must be treated equally.

So everyone gets a picture
in the wallet.

You know, I have four wives.
Look how big my wallet is.

I feel it digging into me,

into my side every single day

reminding me
of the commitments I've made

to honesty and balance.

Which is why I have to ask you,
brother...

[speaking Arabic]

Why do you want another wife?

Honestly.

- I don't know if I want to.

- What?

- I mean,
I will if God wills it.

- Mashallah. Of course.

Yes. There's always God's will.

[speaking Arabic]

[hand sanitizer squelching]

But I wanna know,
what do you want?

- I want whatever God wants.

- Yeah, you can't just put it
all on God, brother.

What is your gut telling you?

- I don't know.

HAKEEM: Think about your gut.

Physically, literally,
what's it saying?

- I'm not sure. It's confusing.

Like, I wanna have a kid,

and whatever Yasmina feels
is right

is what's meant to be.

- You want your wife
to choose for you?

What is all this
indecisiveness?

- This guy has no gut.

I keep telling him
gut health is super critical.

You know that a poop transplant

can actually help you
think clearer?

- I believe it.
Wallahi, I do.

Brother, I'm struggling
to understand

how you're married
to even one person.

[footsteps creak]

Nafisa!

- Salaam. Hakeem.

- Sweetie,
I've been a rude host.

Would you mind getting
these brothers

something to drink, please?

NAFISA: Of course.
- We need to take a walk.

Come with me.

I need you to speak to my wife.

- Wasn't that your wife inside?

- Nafisa, of course.

But she'll just get bored
talking to you.

I'm trying to think which wife
will actually help you.

- Your other wife lives here?

- All four do.
I bought half the block.

[speaking Arabic]

Every house is
exactly the same way.

[sighs]

Amira. My first wife.

You should speak to her.

AMIRA:
I took this photo in Ghana.

I was there for four weeks
just taking photos.

I had set up this makeshift
darkroom in the basement

of a restaurant that belonged
to a woman I met.

AHMED: Wow. That's beautiful.

- I was only supposed
to be there for a week.

But I kept extending,

waiting to see
where the trip would take me.

You know? I liked it.

Like, it's--there's room here.

You know, there's room
for something different.

I never wanted
the traditional thing.

Men are sensitive
and need a lot of attention.

This setup, it's a lot less
emotional labor.

- Emotional labor.

AMIRA: But Hakeem was
up-front with me

when we first got married.

He said it was something
that he'd be interested in.

You know, he's the kind of guy

that says everything
he's thinking.

So did marrying someone else
come up when you met your wife?

- No, no.

We always said we wanted kids,

but then when we got married,
she changed her mind.

- And what did you say?

- I was disappointed,
but I didn't say anything.

- You didn't say anything?

- No, I just prayed on it.

- That's some weak-ass shit.

- Uh, what?

I'm sorry?
AMIRA: Come on, man.

I mean, what's wrong with you?

- I--

- I don't know why Hakeem
asked me to speak with you,

but I'm gonna go.

[door slams]

HAKEEM: The New York Knicks.
[speaking Arabic]

This is a team that seemingly
does not respond to prayer.

I prayed for them.

I've asked big Awliyah
to pray for them.

And truthfully,
I believe the New York Knicks

are carrying the sins
of the entire city of New York.

Mashallah. How was tea?

- Uh...yeah.

Okay.

- Okay.
I have to use the bathroom.

So I'll make wudu
and then we pray.

- Yeah, sure.

Mo, we gotta pray.
We need to pray.

Did you make wudu?
- No.

I'm gonna do
the travelers prayers.

I'm gonna combine them later.

AHMED: Traveling?

How is this traveling?

- You know, we're from Jersey.

We're in New York.
I'm a visitor here.

- It's 20 minutes.

- We crossed state lines,
Steve.

What do you know about this?

- I don't think
the Quran says anything

about crossing state borders.

- Well, it's open
to interpretation, sister.

All due respect.

- Speaking of the Quran,

explain to me again why
you can't have another husband?

NAFISA:
Things just are as they are.

For every right a man receives,

a woman receives
a complementary one.

Even if it doesn't look
the same.

You don't always have
to understand it.

You just accept it.

You're in a wheelchair,
and I don't know why.

It just is.

STEVE:
It doesn't have to make sense.

It's the choice
of the controller.

You all ever fuck each other?

Like, at the same time?

- Astaghfirullah.

Hakeem!
- Steve, come on.

NAFISA: Hakeem!
- What are you talk--

- Hakeem!
HAKEEM: What happened?

Are you okay?

- Come get this jinn
out of my house.

HAKEEM:
What'd you say to my wife?

- Which one?

- I can't handle this.

I'm gonna go make wudu.

[water running]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Loud kitchen.
I'm making a killing,

but there is such a thing as
too many cooks in the kitchen.

Let me tell you.
[chuckles]

- Yeah. I took your advice.

MO: Oh, you did?
- Yeah.

- So you're speaking
with Yasmina?

- No, um, you know,

uh, the transplant advice.

Uh--

I'm gonna...

put this in my gut,

and then I'll be able
to make the right decision.

- What is that?

- It's, um--

I took Amu Hakeem's poopoo.

His--yeah, I took his poopoo.

It was there.

I didn't think
it was gonna be there.

I went in,
I looked in the mirror,

and I was about to cry.

I don't know
why I was gonna cry.

I was, like, overwhelmed.

And then I turned,
and the poopoo was there.

It was just, like,
staring at me

like it was almost talking.

It wasn't saying "Take me,"

but it was like, "I want out."

And then I-I got it.

I grabbed it with two hands,
and I didn't look.

I-I closed my eyes,
and-and, you know, I did it,

and I was very surprised.

I was quite shocked
that I was able

to take poopoo out and--

and I'm gonna, you know,
put it in my gut.

- Have you lost
your fucking mind?

- What the fuck?
AHMED: What?

We've been talking about this.

Maybe it'll help me decide.

- [whispering]
You brought it in here?

[breathing shakily]

Into my kitchen?
I could lose my restaurant.

- He seems like a strong guy,

and I thought
maybe if I was like him

on a biological level--

- You take his poop,
but you can't take his advice?

- No way the controller
likes this.

- Get the fuck out.
- This was your idea, Mo.

- Take your shit
and get the fuck out.

Get the fuck out.

[tense music]

Get the fuck out.

Now!

- Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

[breathing shakily]

Fuck.

Astaghfirullah.
Astaghfirullah.

[breathing heavily]

Why? Why?

Why did I do this?
This is human shit.

I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor.

I shouldn't be doing this.

It's weird.
I brought it into the house.

Fuck Joe Rogan! Fuck Joe Rogan!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I drove shit across t--

[breathing heavily]

♪ ♪

[glass shattering]

♪ ♪

YASMINA: Ahmed.

What's happening?

- I'm losing my shit.
- What--

- I stole another man's shit.

- What are you talking about?
Why did you break the frame?

AHMED: I don't know
what God wants me to do.

I thought if I could just
touch my head

on the carpet that you got me,
I can reconnect us, you know?

Bring us back to what we were.
- Ahmed, calm down.

- I put my head on our carpet,
and I saw it, you know?

I-I don't want another wife.

I want us. I want you.

And I know I can be indecisive,
but I want a child with you,

and you haven't given me
a real reason

why you don't want one,
and I deserve to know.

- Okay, you want a ch--
you want us to have a child?

For what?

I-I saw how we were becoming.

The fighting
over every tiny thing.

The tension all the time.

It reminded me of my parents.

I'm not fucking doing that.

The ocean is rising every day.

The climate
is turning the Earth

into a fucking ball of fire.

You wanna bring a child
into that?

- Listen to me.

I'm telling you from my gut.

Our kid--your brain,

my hygiene, making a kid?

She's gonna fix global warming.

- I've...

never seen you like this.

- I'm telling you from my gut.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

YASMINA: [sighs]
Get a condom.

AHMED: Still?
YASMINA: Yeah.

[knocking on door]

- Salaam alaikum
wa rahmatullah.

I'm here to pay my respects
as a fellow Muslim

to your husband
that just passed.

- How did you get my address?

And who are you?

- Look, Ahmed's my friend.

I told him I was gonna
send you a card,

but I wanted to come over here
and apologize for his behavior.

He couldn't save your husband.

He left you
and your beautiful son alone.

I'm not gonna beat
around the bush.

I know you're looking
for partnership,

and I'm desiring to expand
my partnership situation.

So I thought a cup of tea.

- This is highly inappropriate.

MO: Wait, wait, Hanan.

I'm a good man.

I have a son already.

I'm getting him
to memorize the Quran.

I'm teaching him
to become a reciter.

I own seven restaurants,
all of them five stars

with the exception of one,
which is 4.8 stars,

but it was DoorDash's fault.

I can speak
four languages fluently.

I speak eight languages
on a restaurant level.

And I fear God.

And I think I love you.

Maybe.

Even though we've never talked.

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