All language subtitles for Ramy s03e02 Egyptian Cigarettes.eng

[airplane engine humming]

[dramatic orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- Yo, I'm gonna take you

to get the best falafel
in the world.

It's gonna make
that little brown dick hard.

Your dick's brown, right?

- Yeah, um--
YUVAL: Nice.

- When-when do you think
we're gonna meet the partners

and, like, talk out
all the details and stuff?

- We're staying
with the partners, habibi.

- At the same house?

- It's this big-ass mansion.
Tons of rooms.

Great place to do drugs.

But I'm not gonna do any.

What I am worried about
is your sketchy fucking homey.

- He-he's not my homey.
He's my business partner.

I--he has to be with me.

- I need to talk to you.
YUVAL: Jeez.

He's problematic.

He's gonna scare away the Jews.

- I know he seems, like,
a little aggressive,

but he's actually--he's really
a gentle kind of guy.

YUVAL: He's sketchy.
- He's not--

YUVAL:
What the fuck?

- One second.

What are you doing?

NASEEM:
They wire under the carpet.

I'm sorry.
- What?

- I--I was wrong.

I've always been afraid
to come here.

Even with
the American passport,

I knew they would fuck me

because I'm a Palestinian.

But-but your friends
are going to get us in.

Look, I--I know I've said

some horrible things
about them.

But I am thankful
to these Jews.

I--I love them.

I finally get to see Palestine
and make money,

my two favorite things.

- I--I'm not sure
that we're gonna get

to go to the Palestinian side,
'cause the-the deal--

- No, habibi.

It is all the Palestinian side.

[chuckles]
It's all the Palestinian side.

All of it. It's all Palestine.

♪ ♪

- Come with me.
NASEEM: What the fuck?

Where am I?

I studied all the exit signs
on the line.

This is not the Ben Gurion.

AGENT:
It's a private hangar.

- Okay, I'm with them.
Selim! Ramy!

Eh, hey! Hey!

Don't fucking touch me, eh?

I'm not going in there.

You're gonna fucking
waterboard me.

AGENT: Sir, we just have
a few questions.

- Stop. Hey!
I'll walk, okay?

Listen, I can hold my breath
for nine minutes.

I'm not afraid of water.

YUVAL:
He'll be fine, man.

Couple hours,
just processing vibes.

Why don't we go too, though,

before we get processed,
you know?

- Yeah, but what's the process?

YUVAL: I don't know.
I've never been stopped.

Hey, let's go. We should go.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[hot tub bubbling]

[notification chimes]

YUVAL: Habibi,
you texting your uncle?

- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just checking on him.

- He's gonna be fine.
Inshallah, right?

RAMY:
Inshallah.

- Just tell him to do
whatever the IDF says.

They're good people,

but make sure
he bends to their will.

Text him that.
- Yeah.

YUVAL: Yeah, shoot that out
pretty quickly.

In all caps.

AYALA: Ramy.
Trust is everything.

I meet anyone
we do business with,

even the men
who drive our trucks.

I have coffee with them.

- Yuval's been helping Ramy out
for a while now,

and he's got
an impressive business.

- Yeah.
We're on fucking fire.

I told you that DUI was nonsense.
- [speaks Hebrew]

I'd like to trust you.

But I'm sure you understand
the obvious issue here.

- Uh, w-what issue?

AYALA: It's hard for me
to trust a Muslim.

You can imagine, living here,

I've had some experiences.

I need you to prove to me

that your faith won't get
in the middle.

[pen clicks]

Draw the prophet.

- Um, what?

- Draw the prophet.

If faith is not an issue
for you,

then draw the prophet.

- Y-you want me to--
AYALA: Yeah, a small drawing.

A stick figure will do.
Just draw something.

Tell me it's Mohammad,
and, uh, we'll be good.

Those fanatics,
they care over pictures.

If you are not one of those,
shouldn't be an issue for you.

- Uh, um...

- [mouthing words]

- [chuckles]

Don't touch that pen.

[laughter]

- She always pulls this one.

AYALA:
It's a joke.

- Uh, oh.

- She fucking got you.

Gave you a little tug, huh?

- [chuckling]
I love to laugh.

- [chuckling] Me too.

S-so good.
- Okay.

Uh, we have dinner this evening

with me and my partners.

We'll talk over details
and see if it works.

This is my mother, Chaya.

She is why
trust means so much to me.

She used to live
in a world without it.

She's the only person
of our family

who survived the Holocaust.

- Uh, wow.

Um, that's--

congratulations.

Wow.

- What did you say?

- Um, I said, uh--

- "Congratulations"?

Are you being sarcastic?

- Sor--no, no, I--

no, no, of course not.
No, I meant it.

I mean, surviving
the Holocaust,

that--that's--that's huge,
you know.

I mean, and the numbers were--
were not good,

so to--to get out,
I mean, that--

I feel like that's--
that deserves

a big congratulations.

You say congratulations
when someone does

something very special.

And what's more special
than beating the Holocaust?

You know, like, that's, like...

wow.

Congratulations.

You know, like,
and that's when I would say it,

like, big--big events.

Like, you just had a baby?
Congratulations.

You survived a holocaust?

C-congratulations, you know?

And so I--I think--
you know what it is?

"Congrats,"
that's the sarcastic one.

When people say that,
when they go, "Congrats,"

that's--they're--

they're trying to make
something smaller.

I'm saying it like it's from
the true sense of the word.

You know?
Like, the real, historically--

like, historically,
congratulations,

that's wow, like...

The word has been
misunderstood, I think,

'cause people just use it in--
in a really wrong context.

Uh, it's--which happens
to words, you know?

It's like, uh--
like Allahu Akbar, you know?

People use that
in a really just wrong way,

but it's actually
a very beautiful word.

Um, and I--so is this one.

So that was what I meant.

- Okay.

- So just from the bottom
of my heart, congratulations.

And, um--

and Allahu Akbar, really.

'Cause God is--
God is great for...

- [panting]

You see that?

You see that? Huh?

Five minutes, almost six.

I have the lungs of a swimmer.

I can swim across the Dead Sea
if you'd let me, but you won't.

I'm ready, you fucking cowards.

[door clicking]

[door bangs]

[chair scrapes]

Breath control.

Did you see that

on your little cameras
out there?

NOAM:
There are no cameras here.

We need your code to open it.

- 16-character encryption.

Good luck, bitch.

- You know,
I screen a lot of people.

I can tell you're not a man
who's easily broken.

- [chuckles]
At least you see something.

NOAM: I can understand
you don't want to talk to us.

But we have a job
to keep our country safe,

and there are a lot of people
who want nothing more

than to see us suffer.

So you can comply...

[sighs]

Or we can send you home.

- I am home.

- To New York.

[clacking]

- [speaking Arabic]

YUVAL: "Congratulations"
is not normally

a Holocaust adjective.

Why don't you, next time,
just say sorry

and move on, you know?

- Why would I say sorry?

I--I--I didn't do
the Holocaust.

I'm sorry it happened.

- It's loaded, man, okay?

The whole thing's
fucking loaded here.

We all have PTSD
from that fucking event.

- Okay, I won't bring up
the Holocaust.

But where the fuck's my uncle?

- They're probably holding him.
It's random.

They do it
with older Palestinian men,

sometimes younger ones,

women too.

- Sounds really random.

- The soldiers are kids
with guns.

I know; I came out here
when I was 17 to do my rehab.

Fucking best trip of my life.

I found God.
I fucked a chick--

I swear to God
it was Gal Gadot.

No one would believe me,
but I know it was her.

Best trip of my life.
And then what happens?

I turn 18, they put
a fucking gun in my hands.

I ran away.
- Yeah.

YUVAL:
Eat the chicken.

- Nah, no, I'm, uh--
I'm not hungry.

I'll--I'll eat later.

- It's kosher and halal.

You know, we kill animals
in the same way.

Just, you know...
- It's--yeah.

YUVAL:
You're fucking rattled.

We gotta pray-pray.

Use your credentials
at the golden mosque.

I'd come with you, but I can't.

I'll go see my rabbi.

We'll pray for the night
to go smooth, okay?

RAMY:
Yeah.

YUVAL: If it was up to me,
I'd kick everyone out.

Everyone can leave.
Give it to Black people.

You know what I mean?

RAMY:
Yeah.

[clacking]

[notification chimes]

[dramatic orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[notification chimes]

Taxi!

♪ ♪

[both speaking Arabic]

- Okay.

[horn honks]

[indistinct chatter]

VOICE OVER PA:
[speaking indistinctly]

- Hey--hey, man, do you know
how long this is gonna take?

I--I just--
I gotta meet somebody.

I want to tell her
when I'll be there,

just, like, an estimate.

Do you have a line for people
with American passports?

- Oh, shit.

[spoon clinks]

- I can't believe
you actually came.

RAMY:
Yeah, sorry I was late.

The fucking checkpoint
took forever.

RASHA: Yeah, with checkpoints,
times are never accurate.

- I know.
It's--it's so frustrating.

Like, I'm--I'm from New Jersey,
and we have--

have you heard of
the Lincoln Tunnel?

It--it's basically
a fucking checkpoint.

Like, it takes hours
to get into New York.

But sometimes it takes minutes,

so everyone's
always just confused.

Like, is it gonna take
a long time, is it not?

And then it costs, like,
20 bucks now

to--to get in.

It used to be 12. Now it's 20.

It's just--

At least you guys,

you don't have to pay, right?

- Yeah.

Our old checkpoint
was like a tight metal cage,

barely any circulation.

And when it rained,
it would get muddy.

Then they put
the new paved ones.

- Uh, yeah, it did feel
newly paved, actually.

Like, I could tell
it was a nice--it was--

now that I think about it,
yeah, it was nice pave work.

RASHA:
I prefer the old checkpoint.

It was inhumane,
but it felt temporary.

Now they spent millions
on the new checkpoints,

and it's like
they are telling us

it's going to last forever.

I prefer the mud on my shoes.

- Sorry.
RASHA: No, it's okay.

We don't need to keep talking about this.
[speaking Arabic]

- Uh, I work in jewelry.
It--it's why I came.

W-what about you?

- I work in a restaurant
in Ramallah.

But I'm starting
my lingerie company.

RAMY: Really?
- Yeah.

Super affordable lingerie,
and the tag is,

"Everyone has the right
to be sexy."

- Wow, your--
your family's okay with that?

Like, religiously?
RASHA: [chuckles]

Muslims in the West
are so fucking uptight.

You act like
no one ever kissed before.

It's lingerie.
Everyone wears it.

RAMY:
Yeah, yeah, of course.

I'm--you know, I'm not--
I'm not uptight.

Like, I've kissed before.

W-what?

- This feels strange, right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, the--

like, the--the barbed wire

and the--and the soldiers
and stuff?

RASHA:
No, I live here.

- Right.

It's like kissing
a family member--

a cousin or something,
you know?

- Yeah, I know.

RASHA: In your picture,
you had a beard.

- Yeah.
RASHA: It was cuter.

I feel tricked.

- Y-you feel tricked?

You invited me to your house
and I had to go

through a fucking checkpoint
and, like, a wall and shit.

Y-you said you lived
in East Jerusalem.

- This is east.

It wasn't always this east,
but...

[speaking Arabic]

- No, I--I get it.
Stuff--stuff happened.

But--but look,
I came all the way here.

What if we just
come back here--

- Are we supposed to have sex

because you went
through a checkpoint?

- No, I didn't--
I didn't say that.

I--I...

no, I'm--I'm just saying,
you know, like,

do you--do you really have
that many options?

- Do you think you are
the best I can do

because of the occupation?

- Kind of.

It's--it's scary out there.
Like--

NOAM: The name of your father?
- Halim Mansour.

NOAM: The name
of your father's father?

- Khaled Mansour.

NOAM: Your father's
father's father?

- What the fuck?

I mean, how much information
do you need?

- Your phone, it had
some interesting things on it.

- There's nothing on there
unless you planted it.

- No, no. Nothing illegal.

Just, uh...

some interesting applications.

[phone bangs on table]

- It's nothing. Eh?

It's--it's just, uh,
to meet new people, you know?

To make new friends.

That's it.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, I, uh--

I think you'd very much enjoy
Tel Aviv.

You'd have a lot of fun,
make a lot of new friends.

- Uh...

Are--are we--are we done
with this shit or what?

- My boss is being
very difficult.

Let me see what I can do.

[door bangs]

RAMY: I just, like,
haven't been able to--

to get it up, you know?

Like--like, I will
for a little bit,

but--but it just--
it's, like, I don't stay hard.

It--it's just--

maybe it's 'cause
my head isn't in it.

My--my friend thinks it's
'cause I'm addicted to porn.

He--he's a doctor.

He's been doing studies on it.

- Sounds like you have
a complicated life.

- I know, I know.
But I just--

I really think
if I could make a change--

like, this deal,
if it--if it goes through...

and I understand if you think
I'm--I'm a piece of shit

for--for doing business with--
- I would do it.

RAMY:
Y-you would?

- Yeah, you have to do
what works for you.

- Yeah, that--that's
what I've been saying.

Like--like, if Muslims and Jews
are working together, right,

like, that's how real change
and dialogue can--can happen.

You know?
- It's not about religion.

It's about the government.

They have no interest
in our existence.

And they gaslight us
like it's a war.

It's not.
We don't have an army.

- Yeah.

RASHA:
Have you ever read Chomsky?

- Um, yeah, I mean, I--I have--
I have a book of his, yeah.

RASHA:
Which one?

- Um, you know--
well, you know, how, like,

sometimes you, um--
you don't finish a book

or--or start it
but--but you bought it?

RASHA:
No, I don't do that.

What Chomsky talks about is

the things that you have to do
to become a nation

and to stay a nation.

They're so cruel.

- Yeah, yeah.

RASHA:
I'm just exhausted.

- Shit.
My--my phone's dead.

Do--do you have a charger?

RASHA:
Yeah, it's behind you.

RAMY:
What this--this?

RASHA:
Yeah.

- Okay, this is from, like--
like, 2012.

Do you have, like, the--
like, a new one?

RASHA:
Uh, no, I don't have it.

- D-does your iPhone
have a button?

- Sorry, but I don't have
the newest phone

in the middle
of the occupation.

- W-w-what time is it?

RASHA: It's, uh, 5:00?
Almost 5:00.

RAMY: I--I gotta go.
I can't miss this dinner.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [coughing]

- [coughs]

♪ ♪

RAMY:
[groaning]

- Sorry.

There was nothing I could do.

I hope you come back.

I'll take you to the airport.
I, um--I got you an aisle seat.

- The things you take from us,

and then you give me
an aisle seat.

Fuck you.

[door slams]

[indistinct radio chatter]

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

RAMY: No, s-sorry, look,
please, please,

I re--I really gotta get
somewhere.

I'm--I'm--
- Go back to the line

and bring your papers.

[speaking Hebrew]
- Wait, wait.

I don't--
I don't have my papers.

- Go get it. Next.

- No, I--you--I promise you,
I have an American passport.

It's just--it's not with me.

- And I'm a good friend
of LeBron James.

- No, no, it was--it was--
it was in my jacket.

And I'm--I'm telling you,
I swear, I'm American.

'Cause these--
these Palestinian kids,

they were making fun of me.

And then they took my jacket,
all my stuff--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

- They, like,
fucking attacked me.

- Attacked you?
RAMY: Yeah.

It was like a gang. Like a--

ZVI: A gang?
- Like, a bike gang.

Yeah, and they took
all my stuff.

- [speaking Hebrew]

- If you could just let me
through--

ZVI:
Come. Come with me, sir.

Come with me.

[engine turns over]

Tell me everything you remember
about these kids.

- Uh, I--I don't--

I don't even really think
I can remember them.

- Listen,
I know you're in shock.

But it's common
after a terrorist attack

to be in shock, you know?

- No, it's--it's not--

I wouldn't say
it was a terrorist attack.

It was a--
it was, like, an argument.

ZVI: But I saw you.
You were just crying.

Listen, you're in good hands.

We're trained by your people.

The NYPD come here every year
to train us.

When we arrive there,
stay in the car

for your own safety.

They might throw some rocks,
you know.

[soldiers yelling]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[speaking Arabic]

[person groaning]

RAMY:
No, no, don't!

No!
[person sobbing]

♪ ♪

- Those savage kids.

They destroyed your jacket.

But I found your passport.

You must be cold, eh?

I'll get you a jacket.

[shouting]

[truck door slams]

Come, we'll give you
a ride home.

[soldier speaking indistinctly]

AYALA:
You kept the partners waiting.

RAMY:
I, um--I got stuck.

I--I went to the other side.

- I thought you might.

RAMY: What's happening
over there, it's--

it's fucked up.
It's like--it's like a prison.

Like, I--I don't know
how you just...

this kid, he got arrested
for no reason.

He didn't even--
he didn't even do anything.

AYALA: Two days ago,
I was in Cairo.

We have a big client there
in Khanal-Khalili.

I bought a box of cigarettes.

Have you seen Egyptian ones?

Black lungs.

Every country in the world

put a picture
of what might happen,

but not America.

Not Israel either.

We work so hard to hide
what is really going on.

Are you proud to be
an American?

- I don't--sometimes.
AYALA: Yeah. Sometimes.

Sometimes I am proud
to live here, you know?

Finally a place
for Jews to rest.

But sometimes I d--
I don't believe in Zionism.

I don't believe in any country.

- I think you should
read Chomsky.

- You seem to be a good person.

Don't worry about the kid.

We have connections
in the army.

I'll make sure he gets home.

Just tell me what you know.
I'll handle it.

- Okay.

AYALA:
Take off this jacket.

It doesn't belong to you.

- Take--
AYALA: Yeah.

Unbutton your shirt.

Your pants.

When you leave,
you'll get your first drop.

10 carats.

We'll need to have 250,000
within 48 hours.

Cash on delivery.

My deal is with you,
not your uncle.

- Okay.

- Are you hard?

- Uh...

yeah, I...

I actually haven't
in--in a while.

I...

- Congratulations.

[dramatic piano music]

♪ ♪

[singer singing in Arabic]

♪ ♪

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