All language subtitles for Abbott Elementary s02e02 Wrong Delivery.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:04,004 And it's been almost a year, okay? 2 00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:06,049 It is beyond time that they reboot "Spider-Man" again. 3 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:07,224 Yeah, you're right. I love it. 4 00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,791 But who can replace Tom Holland? 5 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,227 I'll tell you who-- that little magical cutie, 6 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,707 that Harry Potter. 7 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,925 -Daniel Radcliffe? -Yeah. 8 00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:14,318 He's already in a franchise. 9 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,233 You can't just swing from franchise to franchise. 10 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,279 Then why do I have to see -Chris Pratt everywhere? -It's okay. 11 00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,890 No, I want a thicc Spider-Man, like 50 Cent. 12 00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,327 Should be Black anyways. Costume got a built-in durag. 13 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,503 Well, if they do go with a Black actor, 14 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:29,594 I hope they go with that Mr. Brian Austin Green. 15 00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:33,207 I'm so proud of that young man and all of his success. 16 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,947 Uh-- Tuh-tuh-tuh! 17 00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,993 So, there are a bunch of white celebrities 18 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,169 who Barbara thinks are Black. 19 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,303 Like, Brian Austin Green would be Brian Tyree Henry. 20 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,914 Ooh, I see you, little Carrie Underwood. 21 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,089 Good morning. 22 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,221 Kerry Washington. 23 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,744 I'm going straight home, 24 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:51,747 put on a little Millie Bobby Brown. 25 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,053 Bobby Brown. 26 00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,315 No one's done more for Black actors 27 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,882 than Tommy Lee Jones. 28 00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,275 James Earl Jones. 29 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,277 And we just let her keep thinking that. 30 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:01,365 It's easier. 31 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:02,758 And if they go with a woman, 32 00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:05,891 you cannot go wrong with the splendid, 33 00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:08,981 the wonderful Michelle Williams. 34 00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,157 Mm-mm-mm! 35 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,203 Now, that is one talented diva. 36 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:15,814 Mm, yes. Mm-hmm. 37 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:18,208 She is arguably the third best child of Destiny. 38 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,081 And all the way to the Academy Awards 39 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,126 from "Dawson's Creek." 40 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,476 Oh, yes, Michelle. Mm. 41 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,738 So close. 42 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:29,741 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 43 00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:39,099 ♪ 44 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,709 Summer's supposed to be over. 45 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:42,319 Are we sure this AC is on? 46 00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,974 Oh, it is on, but that thing is older than Mr. Johnson. 47 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,976 Yeah, and they both have emphysema. 48 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,499 This is last year's calendar. 49 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:49,587 No! 50 00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:50,893 [ Coughs ] 51 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,547 And that is why we had that up there. 52 00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:55,115 Yeah, now put it back. It's a load-bearing calendar. 53 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,160 Maybe we can use some of the grant money to fix that. 54 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,336 We already decided that we were gonna use that money 55 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:00,642 for cleaning supplies. 56 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,644 This school is just filthy. 57 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,472 Are my ears burning? Huh? 58 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,691 Mm. 59 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,432 You know what? 60 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,260 I respect Barbara and her lil' daughter Taylor too much 61 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,522 to hit on you publicly. 62 00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,350 Nice arms, though. 63 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,660 Me and Taylor? 64 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,749 Oh, um, it's-- it's fine. 65 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,490 It's okay. 66 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,448 It's a bit of an awkward situation. 67 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:28,060 You know that saying, don't, you know, where you eat? 68 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,976 They should also say, don't do that where her mother eats. 69 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,717 Okay, which one of y'all ordered this big stack 70 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,197 of social studies books? 71 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:37,331 Ooh! Oh, my goodness, they're only a few years old. 72 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,115 Oh, my God, they have Brexit! 73 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,378 And the Flint water crisis. And "Hamilton." 74 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,075 These aren't for Abbott Elementary. 75 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:45,382 They're for Addington Elementary. 76 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,471 Oh, the school down the street? 77 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,125 New books-- one of the perks 78 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,735 of turning into a charter school. 79 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,172 They went charter and went up. 80 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:55,305 From 2012 Khloé K to 2022 Khloé K like that. 81 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,915 Unrecognizable. 82 00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:58,830 I heard they got a lot of good stuff over there. 83 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:01,268 Well, that building was made by the same World War II architect 84 00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,357 as this one, so can't be that great. 85 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,749 Why don't we walk over there 86 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,578 and find out for ourselves during lunch? 87 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,101 Need to get my steps in, 88 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,234 and it's closer to the cheesesteak spot-- 89 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,670 another perk. 90 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,152 Only like a block closer, but, yeah, let's do it. 91 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,762 Well, y'all have fun. 92 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,242 I'll be here at work, working. 93 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,898 What? My followers aren't gonna influence themselves. 94 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,250 Ooh, do y'all feel that? 95 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,948 That is some good AC. 96 00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,385 They got a young Mr. Johnson. 97 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:32,734 W-- Hi. 98 00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:35,040 These walls, the paint's not chipped. 99 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:37,565 -And they have color. -Do you smell that? 100 00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,175 I don't smell anything. 101 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,350 Exactly. 102 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,265 [ Chuckles ] You know what? No. 103 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,527 Guys, it's not that great here. 104 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,573 I mean, look, the ceilings are smooth. 105 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,618 Isn't that what floors are for? 106 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,620 Because they don't have asbestos. 107 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,883 Ah, they cheaped out on asbestos. 108 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:54,582 Look, Janine, the school's just better, alright? 109 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,845 You don't have to lie about it. The cops ain't askin'. 110 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,282 - Hey! - Tina! 111 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:01,458 Oh, what? 112 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,504 That's Ms. Schwartz, the teacher you replaced. 113 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:04,809 The one who kicked a student? 114 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,246 Oh, I don't do that anymore. [ Laughs ] 115 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,073 Because of therapy and anger management. 116 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,640 Also, at a charter school, 117 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,773 there's a lot less oversight in the hiring process, 118 00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,122 so it's been pretty sweet. 119 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,428 Well, sweetheart, it's good to see you, 120 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,473 and the school is wonderful. 121 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,170 Yeah. Are those my books? 122 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,955 Oh, yeah. Ohh! 123 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,826 I've been kicking myself for losing them. 124 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,959 [ Laughter ] 125 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,917 Something funny? 126 00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,005 No. 127 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,006 You guys want a little tour? 128 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,748 Yes. Okay, so... 129 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:33,011 this is the language lab. 130 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,361 The kids are currently learning French. 131 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:35,492 Bonjour! 132 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,972 Together: Bonjour! 133 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,279 Aww! Ohh. 134 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:42,978 Yeah. Over there are our restrooms, which are awesome 135 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,589 because the baños don't attack you here. 136 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,591 Oh, I fixed that toilet, so... Okay. 137 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,333 Uh, the music teacher comes ♪ twice a week 138 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,640 ♪ Abbott's comes twice a week, as well ♪ 139 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,337 -Just lying. -I-- 140 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,340 And this little diddly is our computer lab.[ Gasps ] 141 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,342 You know, the kids love it, and it's improved 142 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,823 reading scores just across the board. 143 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,651 Is that Mavis Beacon? 144 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,827 Yeah, this place is the best. [ Chuckles ] 145 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:07,437 We did have a little mice problem, 146 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,527 but we called people to humanely get rid of them, so... 147 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,224 Instead of chasing them with sticks, you know? 148 00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:13,878 [ Chuckles awkwardly ] That's so great. 149 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,576 It really is great! 150 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,447 -It's so great here! -It's really great at Abbott, too! 151 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:21,321 Oh, hey, Kya, you gagootz, keep it movin'! 152 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:24,976 [ Scoffs ] 153 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,892 Okay, come on. 154 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,459 Let's get out of here, come on. 155 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:30,765 Melissa, that's-- that's like 156 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,244 your charter school doppelganger. 157 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,768 I said let's go! 158 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,204 Um... 159 00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,772 Open your ears, listen with your minds. 160 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:40,731 Assuming everybody here has seen "Pocahontas," 161 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,907 the original "Avatar." 162 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,605 Really?[ Knock on door ] 163 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,563 Oh, class, this is Mr. Eddie. 164 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,783 This is the guy I was telling you about. 165 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,480 What have you been telling them? 166 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,787 N-Never mind. Can I talk to you for a minute? 167 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,397 Okay, everyone, give a couple besties 168 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,181 a moment to, uh, flap the gums. 169 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,533 Whoa! You look hot. 170 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,536 Warm. Y-You're sweating. 171 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,276 Yeah, my classroom is sweltering, 172 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,626 and I can't remember the way Barbara showed us 173 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:06,757 how to open up the windows. 174 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,280 How do you do that again? 175 00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,239 Oh, well, I am flattered you thought to ask me first, 176 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,415 but that's definitely more of a Barbara question. 177 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,416 That's what Janine said. 178 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,635 Oh, so I wasn't first. 179 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,114 You know, it's fine. 180 00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,420 Sweating is good for the students. 181 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,856 It stimulates the brain. 182 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,597 Wait, wait. Why aren't you just asking Barbara? 183 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:22,469 Is there something else going on? 184 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,861 -Don't worry about it. -Okay, but I will worry about it, 185 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,515 you know, and every time I see you, 186 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,038 I'll be thinking about it and want to talk about it. 187 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,476 Okay, fine, look, I'm avoiding Barbara right now 188 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:33,305 because things with Taylor aren't going... great, okay? 189 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,090 We're not meshing, and I'll talk to Barbara eventually. 190 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,614 I just have to figure out a plan for this whole Taylor situation. 191 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,486 Girl problems, young blood? 192 00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:40,965 I cannot relate. 193 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,054 I have to go. 194 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,449 -Hmm? -Students: Eh. 195 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:49,321 Ooh, I didn't know Jazz Band was a color. 196 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,889 Abbott is my home, and I take pride in it, 197 00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:54,892 so I've decided to brighten up the place myself. 198 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:58,635 And it'll be as good as anywhere else. 199 00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,420 Addington who? 200 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,073 Ms. Teagues is pleased. 201 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,597 [ Applause ] Yeah! 202 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,207 Yeah, we're gonna go Jazz Band. 203 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,035 I think that's a real reflection of our room, right? 204 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,210 You play bass. 205 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,603 Uh, what do you think you're doing? 206 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,649 Oh, um, just sprucing up the place. 207 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,651 That charter school had that fresh coat of paint, 208 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,479 so if we just--We're not Addington. 209 00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:19,003 We're an actual public school, and you can't paint the walls. 210 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,005 Classroom decor is set by the Philadelphia Department 211 00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,355 of Education, Animal Shelters, and Traffic. 212 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,749 Well-- Trust me, the blue looks worse. 213 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,577 My brother gets to go to Addington. 214 00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:30,058 They take a field trip every month. 215 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:33,061 Is it true that they have a computer lab? 216 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:36,804 Yep, and you can Google stuff. 217 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:37,892 Dang. 218 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,373 [ Door opens ][ Breathing heavily ] 219 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,375 I know how we can spend the grant money. 220 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,682 Janine, didn't you get your breathing checked over the summer? 221 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,902 We already agreed we're spending it on baby wipes 222 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,773 and cleaning supplies. 223 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,862 Look, I know it's not sexy, but we just need the basics here. 224 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,647 But the basics aren't good enough. 225 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,692 These kids need to be uplifted. 226 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:58,782 We can turn the library into a computer lab. 227 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,436 Get a bunch of computers-- 228 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,525 You mean computer. The "S" makes it expensive. 229 00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,614 Fine. Computer for the library. 230 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:07,704 We don't even have a librarian for the library. 231 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,228 It would be nice to get some plants for the classrooms. 232 00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:11,621 Or some air freshener. 233 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,536 -A computer. -Why are we even debating this? 234 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,059 I can't believe you don't want to do more for our kids. 235 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,365 That's not what it's about, Janine. 236 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:17,975 Then what is it about? 237 00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,543 Look, we should not be competing with any school. 238 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,546 We should be doing our best for this one. 239 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,810 Yeah, no, I'm not saying-- Yeah.[ Indistinct talking ] 240 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,420 Sounds like y'all got some different ideas 241 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,031 about the grant money. 242 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,598 We need to come up with a fair and responsible way 243 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,077 to figure out what to do with the rest of that cash. 244 00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:34,078 - Dear God. - Like what? 245 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,558 The only tried-and-true way 246 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,082 that any sound financial decisions are made. 247 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,562 Y'all ever seen "Shark Tank"? 248 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:43,871 [ Humming "Shark Tank" theme ] 249 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:49,093 Ah, all dressed up for your big dip in the Shark Tank today? 250 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,225 What? No. 251 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,618 I got to go to court later 252 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,010 for throwing a corn cob at Ben Simmons. 253 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,969 Wait, so you're not gonna make a presentation? 254 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,275 No! I'm not gonna humiliate myself, 255 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,103 and I don't know anybody else who would, either. 256 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,889 I stayed up all night making my presentation. 257 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,107 Of course you did. 258 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,718 I'm gonna win that grant money 259 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,763 and turn Abbott into a crown jewel of the neighborhood. 260 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,591 Crown jewel? 261 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:12,029 It'll be us and that corner store that still sells loosies. 262 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,162 You know, in the end times, it's just gonna be cockroaches 263 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,599 roaming the empty streets and Janine holding up a sign 264 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:19,036 that says "Turn that frown upside down." 265 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,269 Whoa, that was awkward. 266 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:35,662 Hey, I hope whatever's going on 267 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,141 with you and Taylor can be fixed. 268 00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,753 Unfortunately, I don't think so. 269 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,755 I cannot do another dinner at a restaurant 270 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,670 that does small plates with a unique flare. 271 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,193 Small plates? 272 00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:46,629 Oh, you have to break up. 273 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,588 Just call her right now, rip off the Band-Aid. 274 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,677 Normally I would, but I don't think I can be the one to end this one. 275 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,983 If I hurt Taylor, I hurt Barbara. 276 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,594 You best not go hurtin' Barbara. 277 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,247 -You want my advice? -No. 278 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:59,860 Mail a certified letter telling her you got drafted. 279 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,819 Or you could just let it peter out. 280 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:04,125 What do you mean, peter out? 281 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,127 You can't ghost. That's too harsh. 282 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,564 But petering is gentle. It's nice. 283 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,784 I've-- I've done it a bunch of times. 284 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,656 You just stop using exclamation points, okay? 285 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,006 You start taking a few hours to respond, 286 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,052 and then, you know, before you know it, 287 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,923 it's been a few weeks since you've gotten a text that says, 288 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,969 "Good morning, handsome." 289 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,362 It's risky, but it could work. 290 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,017 And you probably won't get your tires slashed. 291 00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,193 You ever heard of Martha and the Vandellas? 292 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,718 Well, I dumped Martha, but I'm pretty sure 293 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,938 the Vandellas vandalized my car. 294 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:39,856 I would like to not have my tires slashed, so... 295 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,684 Thanks for being here, Courtney. 296 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,381 I think of you like a young me. 297 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,514 I think of you like an old me. 298 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,777 This ain't "A Star Is Born." I'll shut your tiny ass down. 299 00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,257 Let's get going. 300 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,520 There's dust bunnies in the gym with my name on it. 301 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,696 [ "Shark Tank" theme music plays] 302 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:59,571 ♪ 303 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,051 Shanae: Hello, Sharks. 304 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:04,011 You all know me as the Lunch Lady. 305 00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:06,230 'Cause none of you had the decency to ask my name. 306 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,536 Yes, continue, Lunch Lady. 307 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,277 My name is Shanae. 308 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,279 And I'm looking for a 100% investment 309 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,846 of the grant money for our kitchen. 310 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,239 We need cutlery, a bunch of tongs, and hair nets, 311 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,198 'cause I know y'all are tired of stray hair in your food. 312 00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,374 I thought that was a new kind of soup. 313 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,636 Ava: Thank you for your presentation, 314 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,898 but I don't see how any of this 315 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,813 benefits me personally in any way, 316 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:25,467 and for that reason, I am out. 317 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,736 -Hey, Ava. -Do you work here? 318 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,085 For nine years! 319 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:37,653 Damn, this is embarrassing-- for you. 320 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,350 You should really try to stand out more. 321 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,917 [ Sighs ] 322 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:43,050 I haven't been impressed with the pitches so far. 323 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,355 They're trash. 324 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,835 It's like they don't even want it. 325 00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,619 Can't believe I get to miss class for this. 326 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,056 Okay, who's next? 327 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,190 Oh, thank God. 328 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,888 I thought you had some kind of twin janitor. 329 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,628 -That was freaky. -Hello, Sharks. 330 00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,066 My name is Mr. Johnson, and I'm here to pitch you 331 00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:02,373 on janitorial work in the 21st century. 332 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,941 Behold. 333 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,073 Okay. 334 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,683 With 100% of that grant money, 335 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,555 I could become the 007 of janitors, 336 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,209 Agent 409. 337 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,001 Welcome to the Tank. What do you have for us? 338 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:23,873 Uh, we're just here to retrieve some books. 339 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,657 'Cause this is, you know, a library. 340 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:28,051 You both are annoying me, and for that reason, I'm out. 341 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,183 We don't want to be in! 342 00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:31,141 Nevertheless, it's a no. 343 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:35,102 And that is why I'm seeking the entire sum of the grant 344 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,365 so that we can grant... 345 00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,975 our kids a brighter future. 346 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,499 Thank you. [ Chuckles ] 347 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,501 No. No? 348 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,765 I don't know. It's a bit much. 349 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,506 But a bit much is kind of my brand. 350 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,595 I know, but I think it'll be more effective 351 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,424 if we limit the theatrics and just keep it grounded. 352 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,603 See, that is why I came to you. 353 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,823 Because Jacob just would've lied to my face 354 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,304 and told me it was amazing. 355 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,960 Man, see, you're such an honest, straight-up guy. 356 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,353 You're right. 357 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,747 I am straight up. And honest. 358 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,010 It's kind of my brand. 359 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:16,186 Well, it's not really your brand. 360 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,448 Yeah, it is. 361 00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,321 See? 362 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,323 Okay, then. Well, I'm going shark diving. 363 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,628 Wish me luck. 364 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,678 So, if I get the seed money, 365 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,854 I'll be able to have my water ice truck all year round. 366 00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,682 What does this have to do with the school? 367 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,162 This about the school? 368 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,816 I thought y'all was just giving out money. 369 00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,208 Get out. 370 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,949 Courtney: He's got my vote. 371 00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:42,560 It's so hot, I could really go for a water ice right now. 372 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:43,953 Oh, we don't take bribes-- 373 00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,694 that aren't in the form of money. 374 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,831 Hi, Sharks. I'm Janine Teagues from Philadelphia. 375 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,441 Girl, we already know who you are. 376 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:54,746 Get to it. 377 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,706 See? This is why I was bored in her class. 378 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,752 Today I am seeking an investment of the full grant 379 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,059 to brighten and better our school. 380 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:06,541 I'm talking computer... 381 00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,586 the gateway to the future. 382 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:09,892 One second. 383 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,459 Gregory was right. This was too much. 384 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,069 Ava: Let's go to commercial break. 385 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,941 I'm reserving judgment till you can answer this question. 386 00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,072 You got one in my size? 387 00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:18,031 I do! 388 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,076 T-shirt, T-shirt, T-shirt. 389 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,557 So you want us to look just as dorky as you. 390 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,909 A lot of our kids don't have access to the Internet at home. 391 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:29,564 Plus, I believe this will boost morale, 392 00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,654 which positively affects learning, 393 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:33,916 according to certain studies. 394 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,265 Are those peer reviewed? 395 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,267 I prefer the pitch Mr. Johnson gave. 396 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,704 Look, we can prove that we're not just as good 397 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,445 as any charter school, 398 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,578 we're better! 399 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,364 Stay tuned and find out who we'll be making a deal with 400 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,018 after this next break. 401 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,455 Who are you talking to? 402 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,066 This is always my favorite part, 403 00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,806 when we let the losers know who they are. 404 00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,460 Yeah. Sorry, Mr. Hill. 405 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,114 What? I didn't even pitch. 406 00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,507 Because morale is important, 407 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,639 and because I got outvoted two to one, 408 00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:02,902 the winner is... 409 00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,208 Janine. 410 00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,254 Wait. Wait a minute. I'm Janine. 411 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,212 Wait, I won? Oh, my gosh, this feels amazing. 412 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,301 I usually only get this feeling watching movies. 413 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,302 Ugh. 414 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,564 Congrats, girl. 415 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:14,870 You're getting your computer. 416 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,263 -Student: Aah! -What is that? 417 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,308 You guys got to see what's in the cafeteria! 418 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,267 [ Students screaming ] 419 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,100 Hello, friend. 420 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,362 For real? 421 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,931 This is why we need new tongs. 422 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,584 The mice are just slipping through the old ones. 423 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:35,369 [ Gasping ] 424 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,066 Don't worry. I figured out the problem. 425 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,589 W-W-What is it, Mr. Johnson? 426 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:39,982 There's a bunch of mice runnin' around. 427 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,505 We know that, Mr. Johnson! 428 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,942 Oh. 429 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,378 You're up to speed, then. 430 00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:51,298 Melissa: I don't know. We'll just-- Here he is. 431 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,082 Seems that when they chased the mice from that charter school, 432 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,301 they roamed the streets looking for somewhere else to go. 433 00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,389 Abbott was the most delicious. 434 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,086 Congrats, Janine. 435 00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,175 I guess Abbott is better than Addington at something. 436 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,568 Well, can you get rid of them or not? 437 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,526 This job is too big for one Mr. Johnson. 438 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,355 Oh, exterminators are expensive. 439 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,748 Melissa: The grant money. 440 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:07,879 Yeah, I don't really think we got a choice. 441 00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:08,706 No. 442 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,099 But I won. 443 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,797 Well, sorry, hon. Abbott is undefeated. 444 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:15,409 [ Window rattling ] 445 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,672 Oh, uh, Mrs. Howard. 446 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,543 Can you please help me with this window? 447 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,545 Oh, sure. 448 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:24,374 They don't call me the Window Whisperer for nothing. 449 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,594 Alright. 450 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,945 Okay, now, press directly here and release the pressure. 451 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,775 [ Grunts ] Ah, there you go. 452 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:35,385 That all? 453 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:38,258 Um, no, actually, it's not. 454 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,173 I don't know why I avoided it for so long. 455 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,914 I'm not a peter-out kind of guy. 456 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,742 I'm happy Janine reminded me of that. 457 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,962 I actually wanted to talk to you about something. 458 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,052 [ Sighs ] And I wanted to talk to you, too. 459 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,575 I just want to say I'm sorry 460 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:54,013 things didn't work out between you and Taylor. 461 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,147 Oh! 462 00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,975 Oh, don't tell me -I'm breaking the news. -Uh... 463 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,499 Ooh! I told that child, 464 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,719 "You have got to be straightforward." 465 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,026 Petering out is just not of the Lord. 466 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,723 Mnh-mnh! 467 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,117 Wait, so she was petering out on me? 468 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,509 Do you know why? 469 00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:16,818 Well, I think she said you a "broke bwah." 470 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:23,042 I think she's saying I'm a broke boi. 471 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:25,783 Oh. 472 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,046 No. 473 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:34,270 I can't believe we have rats in this school. 474 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,838 Well, they're actually mice, which are better than rats 475 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,448 'cause they're less intrusive. 476 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:41,669 This lady trying to put a positive spin on rats. 477 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:46,108 Don't get it twisted. This is a mouse house now. 478 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,588 Look. 479 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,764 Barbara and I weren't trying to be mean. 480 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,288 It's just the kind of stuff we got to deal with around here. 481 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,464 And that's why, when we can get anything, 482 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,683 we just want the basics. 483 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,424 No, I get it. I do. 484 00:17:57,467 --> 00:18:00,557 You know, I just saw Addington and freaked. 485 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,690 Just wanted to get something special for Abbott 486 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,953 so that we don't feel like an afterthought. 487 00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,347 -Mm. -Wanted us to feel just as good, 488 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,784 even though maybe that just isn't true. 489 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:12,656 And now it looks like we won't be getting any of that stuff. 490 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,397 Yeah, even if I can cut a deal with the rat guy, 491 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,399 we're only gonna have like 350 bucks left. 492 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:19,098 Yep. Okay, let's just get wipes. 493 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,621 There you go. Yeah. 494 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:23,885 The kids don't need to feel special. 495 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,239 Well, if that's all you want, 496 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,328 I can make somebody feel special for less than $350. 497 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,114 Ava, I've said I do not want to go to a strip club with you. 498 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,464 That wasn't an invitation, girl. I just needed some ones. 499 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,683 And lots of 'em. [ Laughs ] 500 00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:42,512 But, no, I have another idea. 501 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:46,429 Thank you, Sharks, for this one-time cash infusion. 502 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,649 This is awesome! 503 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:50,303 Abbott for the win! 504 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:53,871 Whoa, they got water ice? 505 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,830 That's right. Water ice at Abbott. 506 00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,136 Keep it moving. 507 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,355 What do you have, a computer lab? 508 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,617 Dweebs. 509 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,532 [ Laughs ] 510 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:04,186 Yeah, you heard the baby shark. 511 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:08,669 Keep it movin', and quit staring us down with that lazy eye. 512 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,236 Who you think you're talkin' to? 513 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,630 A woman with Jersey mall hair and too much makeup. 514 00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:15,545 Now take that sfigato ass down the street. 515 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:16,546 Oh. 516 00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,418 Melissa! 517 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:20,420 I don't even know what "sfigato" means 518 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:21,682 and I know that was too much. 519 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,336 It's a very small cup of coffee. 520 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,251 That's not even close, and I can say whatever I want 521 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,556 to my stupid sister. 522 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,821 Sister? As in the woman that works at the other school? 523 00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,867 You have the same mom? Y-Your sister? 524 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,782 Yeah, yeah, good, you know what having a sister means. 525 00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,480 Glad you're making good use of that Penn education. 526 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:40,918 Wait--And, no, I'm not saying another word about this. 527 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:44,618 Well, um, hey, you got to hand it to Ava. 528 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446 This is-- -This is a blast. -Yeah. 529 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:50,232 And it is so good that the kids can feel special today. 530 00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:52,887 Oh, are you saying that I was right, Barbara? 531 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,758 Uh... no. 532 00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,893 [ Sighs ] Oh, this is so fun. 533 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,591 -Yeah. -I just wish Gregory could enjoy it. 534 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:02,984 What's wrong with Gregory? 535 00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,204 Well, you didn't hear it from me, 536 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:08,076 but I think he and Taylor are on the outs. 537 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,646 That's too bad. 538 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,821 Yeah. 539 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,652 Hey, Devin, can I get a piña colada? 540 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,137 Hey. Hey. 541 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:27,791 You okay? 542 00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:28,923 I will be. 543 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,275 Thank you. 544 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:35,451 You are so welcome. 545 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:36,974 You're all welcome! 546 00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,498 I really killed that today. 547 00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:41,501 Kids happy, Janine quiet, Gregory fine. 548 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,372 I feel like I got a real knack for this, 549 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,462 like I could be president or maybe even mayor of a school. 550 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:47,942 What would you call that? 551 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,947 How's that petering out going? 552 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:56,167 Well, it turns out that Taylor was actually petering out on me. 553 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,909 Whoa, she petered? 554 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,171 That's amazing. 555 00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,695 How is that amazing? 556 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:04,088 Because, man, that's what people used to do to me. 557 00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:06,700 Huh? Just one more thing we have in common. 558 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,092 Don't take it so hard. 559 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,616 Everybody gets dumped. 560 00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:11,270 If it can happen to Michael B. Jordan, 561 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,662 it can happen to you. 562 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:15,317 Now, that white boy sure can act. 563 00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:19,756 Ooh! I love those "Back to the Future" movies. 564 00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:23,107 Together: Michael J. Fox. 565 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:24,326 Hmm? 566 00:21:24,376 --> 00:21:28,926 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41716

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