All language subtitles for Reboot.2022.S01E04.2160p.WEB.h265-TRUFFLE

♪ upbeat music ♪

[phone alarm]

- I'm sorry if that woke you.

- Oh no, what time is it?

- Whoo! 7:30.

Oh, I wish I could stay in bed,

but I have like 30 cameos
to shoot before work.

- Uh, the worst.

- Hey, last night was really fun.

- Really?

I don't know if you could tell

but that was my first time
with a lesbian woman.

- Okay, you don't need to say both,

and I don't really use labels.

Oh. Okay.

Okay.

I'm glad you're so cool about this.
So chill.

The last time I got busy with a coworker,

Reed, it got weird.

- Maybe because you
used the term "got busy."

- What do people say now?

- Fucking?

- Oh yeah. I'm used to network television.

- Look, don't worry.

It's not weird.

We're friends.

- Friends?

I love that.

It's been so long since I've
had a friend that was a woman.

My last one was technically my assistant,

but then she started charging my Amex.

Like I'm not gonna notice
a charge for a Bowflex.

- Hey, if it's cool,
I'm gonna hop in the shower.

- Okay. Yeah. No, totally. Um...

but, before you go in,

I'm just...

since it was my first time with a,

a lady,

did I do it right?

- Bree, you slayed.

That means you were great!

♪ If you're having girl problems ♪

♪ I feel bad for you, son ♪

♪ I got 99 problems
and a bitch ain't one ♪

♪ slow-tempo country music ♪

- Oh, hello.
- Hello!

- You're looking chipper.

- Oh, 'cause I feel chipper.
- Oh, new.

Um, since I have you...
- Mh-mm.

- About me calling you last night.

- Oh, do we have to do that?

- No, absolutely we do not.
- Okay, good.

- I just, I just don't want you to
get the wrong impression, okay.

I'm not harboring feelings for you.

I'm just missing Nora.

- No worries. I am good.

- So, you're Gatorade good?

- Yes. Yes, I am.

- 'Cause I just remember
the only time you drank Gatorade

is after, you know, getting busy, so.

- Just say fucking.

- Yeah, uh--

I didn't realize that
you were back out there.

- Well, Timberly and I went
out to a hotspot last night.

It was really fun.

- You and Timberly.
- Mh-mm.

- That's weird.
- Why is it weird?

- Last week you tried to destroy her.

- I was being silly.
We're good friends now.

If you'll excuse me,
I have to go do 40 cameos.

- You know, another interesting
thing about the Gatorade

is that--

♪

- Well, thank you again
for meeting with me.

- Oh yeah, of course. I'm stoked.

None of the other executives
ever wanted to meet with me before.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I even invited them to
my eighth birthday party.

- Aw.
- Oh, it's okay.

They were probably just freaked out
about having to wear bathing suits.

- How old were you

when you first started working?
- Four.

I said "ouchie" in a Band-Aid commercial.

Pretty crazy working so young, huh?

- Actually, I started a little
business when I was six.

- Oh, cool. Like a lemonade stand?

- I invented a glucose
monitor for my diabetic cat,

which was subsequently purchased

by a pharmaceutical company.

- Awesome.

So we both started in the medical field.

- Yeah.

[Zack splutters]

So, besides Step Right Up,

do you have any other
projects in development

that you're excited about?

- Actually, yes. Thank you for asking.

I'm currently developing
a batting cage in my backyard.

[Elaine laughs awkwardly]

Boom!

[laughter continues]

- Uh...
[bell rings]

- Ah, look at this.
A donut with bacon.

Who do you think's gonna
have a heart attack first,

me or my rabbi?

- Remember when they first
put potato chips in a can?

- You know what? I am tempted though.

- That's actually a fonut.

It's gluten-free and the facon
is made with beans.

- Okay. Why would you tell me that?

- Hey, Reed, I'm confused.

Does the Cody character
live above the garage

or in the basement?

- Nobody knows. It's a whole thing.

- Ugh.
- Oh, oh, Timberly.

- Yeah?
- I heard that you and Bree
went out last night.

- Sure did.

- May I just say, brava.

Bree's been having a rough go of it
since the divorce.

- Oh, I know. I was like, girl,

you think you can't get it,
but you can totally get it.

- Uh, yes. And I understand she got it.

- Uh, yeah. She got it.

- Ah, well,
I'm very proud of her, you know?

Nice guy, I hope.

- Well.

- Not a nice guy?

- It wasn't a guy.

- Oh.

- Hm.

- [stammering] You?

- Hm.
[Reed clears throat]

You two. You two?

Cool.

Cool. Cool.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

- Did I just blow your mind, boomer?

- What, what?

No, girl. That don't phase me.

- Hm?
DENNIS: Timberly?

- Yeah?
- Mind if I steal you?

We're about to block the basement scene.

- Is that where Cody lives?

- Please don't ask me. I can't.

- I'm, uh, freaking out.
- About what?

Never mind, I don't care.

- Last night I called Bree and she was

uncharacteristically dismissive.

- Again, I could not care less
about this conversation.

- She was having sex with Timberly.

- Go on.

- Bree's into women now?

Which, you know, which is cool.

It's all good. It's good in the hood.

Ain't no thing.

- You really need to hang out
with more Black people.

- That's fair. I'm just stunned.

This is so not like Bree.

- But it is very Timberly.
- What do you mean?

- They used to call her "Sin-berly"
on Fuck Buddy Mountain.

Men, women, that chick is
up and down for anything.

- Wait, are you watching
that stupid reality show?

- Well you can't imagine
how badass these women are.

Like when Tawny crashed her snowmobile

and had to walk three miles
in high heels and a teddy,

only to find Kim in bed with Brody,

who I knew was trouble.

- Guys, we're way behind.

And you know how cranky Jerry gets
when he's not home by 2:00 PM.

- Okay. All right.
JERRY: Okay. Let's go!

- Hey, don't tell anyone.

- We're on a TV set.

You think Bree scissoring Timberly
isn't going to get around?

Just...

- Wait, wait. I'm confused.
What is scissoring?

- It's when two women spread their legs,

a la scissors, and I don't wanna be crass,

but they rub their pussies together.

- Okay.
- This from a woman who was

just showing us pictures of her grandson.

- You can't put me in a box.
- Not for another year or so.

[all laughing]
- Where were these jokes yesterday?

Instead of the 50 pitches on oat milk.

- For the record, scissoring is bullshit.

It is a fantasy of lesbian sex

that exists primarily in porn
made for hetero men.

- Why do you have to ruin everything?

- Why am I having such a hard time
picturing this scissors thing?

- The whole thing is quite
simple, actually, okay?

You have two women,
in this case are Bree and Timberly,

and they lie up on a bed
or perhaps a beach towel

with their legs spread akimbo.

And then they gingerly
press each other's loins together--

- Oh god, why does Alan
get to say things like that,

but I get yelled at
for ordering two soups?

- Yeah. Let's, let's get back to work.

- Yeah, yeah. But right after
Alan tells the story about

the time he got the blowjob
from Paul Lynde in his Hollywood square.

- Shut up.
- It was the '70s.

I had taken a Quaalude.

- Oh my God, Paul Lynde is a daddy.

What was he like?

- The man had a jaw like a python.

- Okay. Let's just stop
prying into each other's sex lives.

- That's half the reason I come to work.

How about you, two soups?

Who you bringing the clam chowder home to?

- Two soups.
Is that my nickname now?

- Hannah looks uncomfortable.
Let's talk about her.

- No, we're not gonna do that.

- You know what? Hannah's right.

Let's get serious. We got at least

three pages to cut out of this script.

And what do we use to cut things.

ALL: Scissors.

GORDON:
Came up again naturally.

- Yep
GORDON: I'll tell you a story.

Goldie Hawn,
this is before she was famous.

SELMA:
Ugh, not the Goldie Hawn story.

- I got all sorts of crazy stories.

One of my fellow jurors on
12 Angry Boys faked a seizure

so he could get to his
sister's bowling party.

- Wow.
People in Hollywood

are so much more dramatic
than I'm used to.

In Silicon Valley, a coder is
considered high maintenance

if they ask for a standing desk.

- [laughs] I want one.

I've only ever used a sitting desk.

- Well, this has been fun,

but I gotta get back to the office.

- You're not gonna come hang out on set
before the run-through?

- No, I have to read an outline
and try to get through these emails.

- Your job doesn't sound as fun as mine.

Have you ever seen any of
the cool things on the lot?

Come on. I'm giving you a tour.

- No, no, no.
I gotta get back to the office.

- But your phone's going on a tour.
- Hey!

♪

- Oh, Whitney, come on.
You're a member of the family now.

You can ask me for anything,

except for my red Valentino's.

I'm getting buried in those.

[chuckling]

- The only thing I want
is to be your friend.

- Come here.

- Ooh. I'm liking in this scene today

way more than I did yesterday.

- A very nice tender moment.

Bygones are now bygones.

And we're out.

- Hey, so Jerry, would Bree's buried line

be funnier if I made a joke
about wanting the Valentino's?

BREE: Ooh!
- Bree got a laugh on it.

- I think she'd get a bigger one.
Let's do it.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Okay. Let's go again.

I don't give a shit.

- Did you see that?

Since when is Bree giving away jokes?

- It's just like what happened on
Fuck Buddy Mountain.

- What are you talking about?

- There was this super sweet girl,
Sarah R,

who you just couldn't help but love.

But Timberly saw her as a threat.

So, what does she do?
She seduces her.

And Sarah R being the naive Iowa farm girl

let her guard down and then bam.

- Bam. What do you mean, bam?

- She gave Timberly her immunity thong.

- Her immunity thong?
- Yeah.

And then the naked council
sent her into sex-ile.

- Into sex-ile?
- Yes.

- You don't think that's why
Timberly had sex with Bree?

- I don't know, but I'm
on the edge of my seat.

Oh, they're hugging again.

- And that's it, we're out.

Bye-bye.
- See you, Jer.

- It was funnier, right?

- Much better. Funnier.
- Oh, fantastic.

BREE: It's funny.
- Mm-hm.

- Hi!

Should we keep pitching on the tag

or start to blue sky the next episode?

- Huh?

- You okay?

- Yeah. I, um...

There's all that sex talk in there,

and we were laughing, and then it hit me.

My dad doesn't know.
- Doesn't know what?

He clearly knows a lot
more about sex than Bob.

- No, he doesn't know about me.

You know, that...
that I'm a lesbian.

- No one says lesbian anymore,
Billie Jean King.

- Anyway, I just, I don't know.

I feel like I have to
come out all over again.

And it's like I thought
I was done with this shit.

I'm, you know, 30-ish years old.

- That ish is doing a lot of work.

- Hmm. At least my bones are strong

from having grown up
drinking real fucking milk.

- I don't understand.
Why didn't you just come out to him?

- It's not like he was around
when I came out to my mom.

And I wasn't gonna knock
on his door and be like,

"Happy Thanksgiving.
Hope you're having fun

"with the family you left me for.

By the way, I like sex with women."

- Why don't you just do it now?
Get it over with.

- You're right. You're right.

Thank you.

I don't why I'm so nervous about this.

Although, is it
inappropriate to do at work?

- Oh, did you not just attend scissorfest?

- Right.
BENNY: Yeah.

♪

- Hey, um, you busy?

- Huh? I got a hankering for something.

I don't know what it is, but something.

- Yeah. Yeah. Mind if I talk
to you for a second?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.

- So today it occurred to me that you--

- Oh, my God. When was the last time
anybody cleaned out this place?

Look at that, Sanka.

- [weak chuckle]
Yeah. You know what?

Uh, never mind. Sorry.

- Hey, anybody know if Sanka expires?

Would old Sanka be stronger?

- Whoa.

- The costume shop.

♪ upbeat music ♪

There's so much awesome stuff in here.

- This is amazing.

- Oh, this is my favorite aisle.

Check it out.

This is the armor that Russell Crowe
wore in "Gladiator."

- Really?
- Maybe. Who knows.

Wanna try something on?

Here.

- As amazing as I'd look
in a beekeeper outfit,

I think we should get
back for run-through.

- We have plenty of time.

- No, I really do not feel comfortable...

That's pretty...

I feel ridiculous.

- Whoa.

You look amazing.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Do a British accent.

- Oh no, I do not do that.

- [British accent]:
Don't be such a fish and chip, gov'nor.

- Uh...

[bad accent]:
I'm off to have tea with a-- a queen?

- Okay. So we did that.

Now let's just go back to
being Americans having fun.

- [laughs] Okay.

- I like your outfit...

but it needs something.

Ooh!

- Oh no.
- And now... you're a fairy.

- Are you sure we're allowed to do this?

- Of course.
- Okay.

You're a big-shot exec,

you can do whatever you want.
WOMAN: Hey, who the fuck is in here?

- Run.
- Oh.

♪

- That was so sick.

Ooh, come on, grab a bike.

- I can't go riding around the lot
dressed like this.

- Sure you can. Everyone will think
we're doing a show.

- Ah, okay.

But the bikes aren't ours.

- That's what's so great.
They're all over the lot.

Anyone can take them.

ELAINE:
I can't believe we're doing this.

ZACK: You got this.
It's just like riding a bike.

- Where the hell is my bike?

Come on, man.

- Bree, we would like to
talk to you about Timberly.

- What about Timberly?

- Well, we know that
she is the one with whom

you had sex last night.

- I'm not giving you any details.

- That is not why we're here.
- Although--

- We are here as friends.

First of all, if you are a lesbian,

we are here to support you.

- That's just wonderful.
- I'm not a lesbian.

I'm sexually fluent.

- I think you mean fluid.

- I don't believe in labels.

- Clay...

can you please tell Bree
about "Sin-berly"?

- What?

- It was episode eight
of Fuck Buddy Mountain,

- "Cucks Versus Sluts."
- "Cucks Versus Sluts."

- And Timberly's alliance
was really falling apart.

- Falling apart, into shreds.
- Oh, wait,

I should go back and tell you about

when the Conway sister showed up.

- No, no, no.
The point is, ahem,

we suspect Timberly sees you as a threat,

and is using sex to neutralize you

like she did on the show.

- What are you talking about?

Honey,
last week you sabotaged her

and now you're giving her your jokes.

- Timberly and I are friends.

- She is a reality star.

She didn't come here to make friends.

- My God, but it seemed so real.

Do you think that she was
manipulating me this whole time?

- I don't know for sure,

but maybe some of those
details would help.

- Get out.

- What is this place?
- Come on. You're gonna love this.

♪ classical music ♪

- Wow, this is amazing.
- Right?

♪

I've loved orchestras ever since
I played a kid conductor.

- Mini Maestro.

You were great in that.

- You know, to prepare for that role,
I watched a bunch of clips of Amadeus.

- Can I help you?

Oh, it's okay.
I'm an actor.

You guys sound great. Keep going.

- You think I slept with you
to somehow get ahead?

- That is what Clay and Reed said
that you did on the reality show.

- Everything on that show was scripted.

The producers told us what to do.
- Really?

- Bree! It's reality TV. It's all fake.

- I didn't know that.

They should put disclaimers on these shows

because this kind of mix-up must happen...

I sound like an idiot.
- You really do.

I mean, do I seem like the type of person

that would ride around
on a snowmobile topless?

- Sort of.

♪ upbeat music ♪

♪ We are young ♪

♪ We run green ♪

♪ Keep our teeth nice and clean ♪

♪ See our friends, see the sights ♪

♪ Feel alright ♪

♪ We wake up, we go out ♪

♪ Smoke a fag, put it out ♪

- [laughing] Okay.
That was insane.

- Wanna see a giant spaceship?
- Seriously, there's a giant spaceship?

- Elaine?

- Daniel. Hello.

- Having fun?

- Yes. No.

Zack was just showing me around the lot.

Zack Jackson, this is
Daniel Silva, my boss.

- Ouchie.
- Hello, Zack.

It's great having you back on the show.

- Great to be back, Dan the man.

- I'm so embarrassed right now.

I don't usually...

Obviously this is not
how I typically dress.

I am so sorry.

- I'm just glad to see you
out having a little fun.

You work so much,

you were starting to freak
the whole team out.

- Oh.
- I guess it's true.

Every time we cancel a show,

a junior executive gets their wings.

[light laughter]

- I can't believe that just happened.

- See, it's TV. Things always work out.

[Elaine laughs]

♪ Feel alright ♪

- Really, Bob? Sunscreen?

It's a 40-second walk to the stage.

- My father had a melanoma.

I can't risk it.

Janae, honey, can you get my neck?

[ I'm not touching your skin, Bob.
I'd rather jerk off a hobo.

Oh my God, I'm spending way
too much time with you people.

- Look, Alan, isn't that the stage
where we shot Bosom Buddies?

- Yeah, that was a fun show, huh?
- Yeah.

- Remember how we used to do coke
in the writer's room?

What the hell happened to this business?

- You openly did cocaine at work?

- Oh yeah, we used to
send the PA to pick it up.

I wonder whatever happened to him.

- I think he's running Columbia TriStar.

- So, how'd it go with your dad?

- I didn't tell him. Don't shame me.

- Honey, you are a fierce,
grown-ass woman.

What the hell is happening?

- Why, why do I need to be the one
that keeps sharing shit?

Huh? I don't have anything to prove.

I don't have to impress him.

Why do I have to come out?

He should be the one to come in.

- Okay. Now you're spiraling, boo.

- Oh my God. Stop lecturing me.
You haven't come out to your dad.

- Okay. It's hardly the same thing.

Your dad's friend got
a blowjob from Paul Lynde.

Back in our town,
my dad tried to ban dancing.

♪

- Oh.

- And we're back.

- Woo-woo! That was awesome.

Oh, thanks for making
my first actor meeting so easy.

- Same. First business meeting.

You're really fun.

- Did you just call me fun?

I don't think I've ever
been called fun before.

- [British accent]:
Well, you definitely are, milady.

- [bad accent]:
Oh, why thank you, my lord.

[both laughing]

- Hey, that's my fucking bike.

- Oh, it's okay. I'm an actor.

- Nah, I'ma tase your ass.

BOTH: Sorry!

- Whatever happened to Bugles?

We used to have bowls of them.

- Hey. Hi, um--

- You old enough to remember Bugles?

- Yeah, you put them on like witch nails.

- Yes! Can we get some of those, please?

- Anyway, um...

Have you ever seen the movie Footloose?

- That the one with the girl
dancing in the Catskills.

Hates Jerry Orbach?

- No, that's Dirty Dancing.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Never cared for that one.

A little too Jew-y.

- Okay. Just forget I brought that up.

That's not what I wanted to say.
What I wanted to say--

- Okay, everyone,
time for run-through.

- All right. Thank you, Dennis.

- Yeah.
- This movie talk, can we,

do we have to do it now,
or can wait till after?

- Just forget--
Forget it. Not important.

Forget it.
- All right.

Carrot, got a carrot.
- Okay.

Fuckin' Dennis.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

- Yes, we're still seeing that bullshit.
- Hey!

Hey!
- Are you two--

What, darling?
- You made me look

like an idiot.
- The fuck we do?

- You got in my head.

So, like an idiot,
I go and I accuse Timberly

of all the things that you said
that she did on her reality show.

And, guess what?
Scripted!

- What?
- Yeah.

Every major plot point.

- No way.
- Yeah.

She brought out the outline

of the episode where
she sleeps with Sarah R,

and then she showed me pictures
of her at Sarah R's wedding.

- Shut the fuck up.
- I will not.

- The honey trampoline?
- That is fake.

- Timberly and the snowmobile?

- Fake.
- Kim banging Brody?

- Fake.
- The beaver hunt.

- Fake.

- I feel so manipulated.

- How do you think I feel? You idiots.

JERRY: Okay, here we go.
And action.

- That's my cue.

Hey, Cody.

Hello, Whitney.

- Hey guys.
Can I ask you a question?

- Sure, buddy. Shoot.

- My boss at work is
really getting on my case,

and I'm not sure what to do.

- What's his name?
- Janet.

CLAY: Ah.

- I was just trying to make sure
no one was taking advantage of you.

- You can't do this shit anymore.

We're not a couple.

You're not my protector.

- You're right. I'm sorry.

It's, it's just hard for me
to not care about you.

- I'm a different person
than I was 15 years ago.

I've been through a lot.

And it's made me stronger.

And for the first time in my life,

I am taking care of myself
without anyone's help,

even if it means that I fall on my face.

But I am not going to,
because I am focused,

I am on top of things--

JERRY:
Bree, you missed your cue.

- Shit. This is your fault.

I'm sorry, Jer! I'm sorry!

I didn't hear it.

I didn't hear you.

Should I back it up
or should I just come out?

- What?
- Do you want me to come out now?

- Just come out.

- Okay. Fine. I'm a lesbian.

I'm sorry. I'm a...

I should have said this earlier. And...

Look, I have no idea
why this has been so hard for me to do,

because I spent my entire life
not needing your approval,

and I still don't need your approval.

BENNY: Mm...

- But you're my...
you're my parent.

So you should know.

And I want you to know.

- Honey.

I know.

- Wait, you do.
- Yes.

I mean, ever since you were little.

I didn't know, but I knew.

Plus, dummy, when your film came out,

you went on all those interviews

called yourself a queer filmmaker.

- Wait, you read, like,
the press and interviews?

- Yes.

What? I can't be proud from a distance?

BREE: Everyone!

I was also gay last night.

- Oh.
BREE: That's right.

I'm a sexual fluid

and there is nothing wrong with that.

♪

♪ Oh, yes, it's Ladies' Night ♪

♪ And the feeling's right ♪

♪ Oh, yes, it's Ladies' Night ♪

- ♪ Oh, what a night ♪
- ♪ O h, what a night ♪

♪ Oh, yes, it's Ladies' Night
and the feeling's right ♪

♪ Oh, yes, it's Ladies' Night,
oh, what a night ♪

Huh!

- ♪ Girls, y'all got the one ♪
- ♪ One! ♪

♪ A night that's special everywhere ♪

♪ From New York to Hollywood ♪

♪ It's Ladies' Night ♪