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During your weekend here,
you will explore ways through yoga,
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00:00:04,158 --> 00:00:06,844
breathing and other mindful pratices
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00:00:06,879 --> 00:00:10,021
to reconnect with yourself
and your partner.
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00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:12,068
Also, for a small donation,
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00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,438
we have an on-site shaman
who can heal your chakras.
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00:00:15,507 --> 00:00:18,408
Small donation?
Sounds like a "chakra con".
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00:00:19,277 --> 00:00:21,177
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- You're supposed to turn that off.
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00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:23,046
- I'm sorry. It's work.
- Okay, so is a marriage.
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00:00:23,115 --> 00:00:24,514
You know, we traveled all this
way. The least you could do
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00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:25,749
is take this seriously.
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00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,283
- I'm sorry. You're right.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
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00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:30,487
Oh, my God, that... that
crappy breakfast was $55.
13
00:00:30,555 --> 00:00:31,821
- For flax and berries.
- Yeah.
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00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,923
I thought this was supposed to
be one fee up front, all in.
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00:00:34,026 --> 00:00:35,258
I wish you were all in, Mitchell.
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00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,627
I'm sor... I am. Starting... now.
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00:00:37,696 --> 00:00:38,828
[BELL CHIMES]
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00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:40,130
That wasn't me.
19
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:43,066
I have invited the Tibetan
Singing Bowl to ring,
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00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,668
reminding us to all turn down the volume
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00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,204
and find the beauty in silence.
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00:00:48,306 --> 00:00:50,273
[GROUP CHEERING]
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00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:52,175
That was unfortunate.
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00:00:52,277 --> 00:00:54,811
My apologies. We happen to be
next door to the Royals.
25
00:00:54,913 --> 00:00:57,080
[GASPS] Oh, my God,
we just binged "The Crown".
26
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,915
W-W-Which royals? William and Kate?
27
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,216
Harry and the "Suits" girl?
28
00:01:00,318 --> 00:01:03,119
Actually, it's the Kansas City
Royals. Spring training,
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00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:05,455
- their practice field is next door.
- [GASPS]
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Growing up a Royals fan,
it was always my dream
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00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:08,858
to see them at spring training.
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00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,760
So, I just decided,
after the retreat was over,
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00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,296
I'm just gonna swing by,
you know, grab an autograph,
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00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:15,732
maybe whisper an opinion
in the manager's ear,
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00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:18,234
be discovered as a great baseball mind.
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00:01:18,336 --> 00:01:19,903
Then the Yankees would come calling,
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00:01:20,005 --> 00:01:21,871
and then I'd have to choose
between the team I love
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00:01:21,973 --> 00:01:23,573
and the... the big payout.
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00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:25,475
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
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00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:28,578
RANDY: Not to worry. This is
their last day of training,
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00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:29,846
and they leave tonight.
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00:01:29,948 --> 00:01:31,114
- Excuse me, question.
- Yes.
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00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,750
Yes, hi. Will we have
an opportunity to explore
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00:01:33,852 --> 00:01:35,718
these... these beautiful
grounds on our own?
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00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:37,821
Absolutely. Tomorrow at sunset.
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After goat yoga.
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00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:43,693
Oh, my God! Can it get any worse?!
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Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
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-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-
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00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:59,042
Arrgh! Ughh!
51
00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:02,278
What are you doing? I grunted less
when I was giving birth to Joe.
52
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:05,849
You were pushing six and a half
pounds, I'm pushing 220.
53
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,183
You're dressing younger.
54
00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:08,852
You're exercising.
55
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:11,955
You only had one breakfast this morning.
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00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:14,591
- Who is she, Jay? I'll kill her.
- Relax, would ya?
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00:02:14,693 --> 00:02:16,893
I'm just trying to get in shape.
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00:02:16,995 --> 00:02:18,628
Okay, but hurry, because we have to go
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00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,697
and pick up Joe at the birthday party.
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00:02:20,799 --> 00:02:22,065
Wait a minute.
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00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:23,833
Is that what this is all about...
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00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,235
Henry's father?
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00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:26,936
I don't understand
why you're so insecure
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00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:28,872
just because he's younger,
65
00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:31,007
stronger, and more rugged than you are.
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00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,810
Go easy. I'm working on
only one breakfast.
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00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,812
Joe won't shut up about
his new friend's dad.
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00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:38,081
"Henry's dad is so tough". Who cares?
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00:02:38,183 --> 00:02:40,383
He was a stunt double in
a couple of "Bourne" movies.
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00:02:40,485 --> 00:02:42,585
From the first time Joe went over there,
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00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:45,421
that guy's been trying
to prove how cool he is.
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00:02:45,524 --> 00:02:46,556
Joe! Let's go!
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00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:47,891
Heads up!
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00:02:50,061 --> 00:02:51,761
- What the hell?!
- Yeah!
75
00:02:51,863 --> 00:02:53,396
He's Jason Bourne!
76
00:02:53,498 --> 00:02:54,631
That's make-believe.
77
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,133
Matt Damon's Jason Bourne.
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00:02:57,235 --> 00:03:00,170
Growing up, I thought
my dad was the coolest.
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00:03:00,272 --> 00:03:02,505
And that made me feel good about myself.
80
00:03:02,607 --> 00:03:04,073
I mean, I try to stay with it.
81
00:03:04,176 --> 00:03:07,043
Exactly! Look at you,
you even have a smart watch.
82
00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,745
Yeah, the damn thing tells me
when to stand up,
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00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:09,979
- when to breathe.
- [WATCH BEEPS]
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00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,348
- Your body mass index is...
- Nobody asked!
85
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:17,053
Which have more chromosomes,
potatoes or humans?
86
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,556
Humans, right? Potatoes?!
87
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,790
[LAUGHS]
88
00:03:20,892 --> 00:03:23,693
Oh, Krazy Kups, what can't you teach us?
89
00:03:23,795 --> 00:03:25,595
Are you doing all this to
impress Haley's boyfriend?
90
00:03:25,697 --> 00:03:28,231
Haley's dating this genius
astrophysics professor
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00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,699
who's somehow making her smarter
92
00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:31,768
because, last week,
I called Pluto a planet
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00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:33,369
and Haley laughed at me.
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00:03:33,471 --> 00:03:35,171
In pity.
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00:03:35,273 --> 00:03:36,973
- Haley.
- Haley.
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00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:38,474
Haley.
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00:03:39,444 --> 00:03:42,445
Do we think that Haley
is suited to a professor,
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00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:44,981
because I more saw her
with a Gilligan type?
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00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,849
Come on, now. Lots of happy couples
100
00:03:46,952 --> 00:03:48,952
aren't the exact same level of smart.
101
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,954
That's true. We work.
102
00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,155
Yeah.
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00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,692
Wait. When you say, "We work,"
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00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:57,994
do you think you're smarter
than me or I'm smarter than you?
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00:03:58,096 --> 00:03:59,829
I think I'm smart enough
not to have this conversation.
106
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,397
Oh, my God!
107
00:04:01,499 --> 00:04:04,734
You do! You think
you're smarter than me!
108
00:04:04,836 --> 00:04:07,604
Okay, hotshot.
How many patents do you have?
109
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,739
Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun,
110
00:04:09,841 --> 00:04:12,242
Polite Car Horn that'll
put an end to road rage.
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00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:14,043
[HIGH-PITCHED] Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.
112
00:04:14,145 --> 00:04:16,813
Can we just not get into a whole
thing before this lunch?
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00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:18,414
What lunch? I just ate a pie.
114
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:21,217
Your sister is dating
a professor of astrophysics,
115
00:04:21,286 --> 00:04:23,586
and he's coming here today to meet us.
116
00:04:23,688 --> 00:04:25,588
Oh, good, someone to talk to.
117
00:04:25,657 --> 00:04:27,957
I'm tired of dumbing it down
for you chuckle-heads.
118
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,893
Bill, are you on your way?
119
00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:32,662
Stay in the car. I'll meet you outside.
120
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,897
It was hard for me when Haley
started dating Arvin,
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00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,333
my professor and science hero and...
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00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:39,369
okay, fine, crush.
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00:04:39,437 --> 00:04:43,339
I was so upset, I went home,
and I may have overindulged...
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00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,841
on Bagel Bites.
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00:04:44,943 --> 00:04:47,343
- [MICROWAVE BEEPS]
- [SMOKE ALARM RINGING]
126
00:04:47,445 --> 00:04:48,745
- Hey.
- Aah!
127
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:50,313
It's okay. You're safe.
128
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:51,547
But I'm gonna need you to come with me.
129
00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:53,683
I don't really think you need... Okay.
130
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,435
He was like a superhero.
131
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:56,452
Is that your dad?
132
00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:59,188
A beautiful... not-so-smart superhero.
133
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,923
The last thing I wanted
was Professor Fennerman
134
00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:02,825
finding out I was dating a dummy.
135
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,129
A sweet, chiseled dummy.
136
00:05:06,197 --> 00:05:10,199
Alex, you didn't mention you've
got a firefighter boyfriend.
137
00:05:10,302 --> 00:05:11,501
Yeah! It's great.
138
00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:13,136
"Take that, you fire". We gotta go.
139
00:05:13,238 --> 00:05:15,138
Oh, but your parents just
invited me to stay for lunch.
140
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,639
Score!
141
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:19,409
By the way, you look way younger
than your poster.
142
00:05:19,477 --> 00:05:21,377
We really should get going before we...
143
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,179
we miss our plans and stuff, right?
144
00:05:23,248 --> 00:05:24,447
- Yeah.
- Uh, yeah...
145
00:05:24,549 --> 00:05:26,616
Alex! I didn't know you were
joining us for lunch.
146
00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:28,518
Oh! No, no.
147
00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:32,355
My friend and I have some plans
we really can't get out of.
148
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,891
Oh, no, I could totally just
show you "Backdraft" later.
149
00:05:34,993 --> 00:05:37,260
It's my brother's DVD.
He doesn't even know I took it.
150
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:40,263
- So...
- Mom, Dad, this is Arvin.
151
00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,332
Hello, Arvin.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
152
00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:45,234
Yes, you are the first TED
Talkin' science superstar
153
00:05:45,337 --> 00:05:46,669
- we've ever had in our house.
- Mm-hmm.
154
00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:50,039
Well, as long as I'm a
"superstar" and not a supernova.
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00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:54,610
[LAUGHTER]
156
00:05:54,713 --> 00:05:56,079
You don't even know what
you're laughing at.
157
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,613
- I get it.
- I got it more.
158
00:05:57,716 --> 00:06:00,950
I don't get it, but, uh, you
sound like Austin Powers, man.
159
00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,065
Wow. Henry's dad did such a great job
160
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,900
with the birthday party
for the kids, huh?
161
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,468
"Henry's dad". "Henry's dad".
162
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,338
I took Joe to see "African Queen"
in CinemaScope.
163
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:14,906
Oh, hey. Good to see you again, Jay.
164
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,441
- GLORIA: Hi.
- Hi, I'm Clay.
165
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,343
I'd shake your hand,
but I'm a little banged up.
166
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,345
I fell out of a five-story
building this morning,
167
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,214
- into a net.
- He fell out of bed this morning.
168
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,383
Hey, honey.
Come down and meet these guys.
169
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,652
Oh, hey!
170
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,090
Welcome. I'm Jenny, Henry's mom.
171
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,325
Joe's parents... Jay, Gloria.
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00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,526
- Hi.
- Gloria.
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00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,495
Mama! Henry's mom just did
the wall so fast!
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00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,663
You try it.
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00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,199
Oh, I climb already into
these heels this morning.
176
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,834
It's too much for me today.
177
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,437
- I'm going up again!
- Okay.
178
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,939
Oh, I used to love
wearing shoes like that.
179
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,275
But after marching around in
combat boots for two years,
180
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,244
I made a deal with my feet
I would never hurt them again.
181
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,447
My beautiful wife did two tours in Iraq.
182
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,049
Wow, Gloria, you're not that different.
183
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:01,186
Yesterday, she did
two tours of a sales rack.
184
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,054
[LAUGHS]
185
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,357
Help! I'm too high!
186
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,559
Go ahead, just jump,
buddy. I'll catch ya.
187
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,862
- But your sciatica!
- I'm on it.
188
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,631
What is the hurry? He's on a rope.
189
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,769
- She's making quite a meal out of this.
- Yeah.
190
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,206
[CROWD APPLAUDS]
191
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,141
Attaboy.
192
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,877
Thank you, Jenny. You're so cool.
193
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,613
Ah, look at that, Gloria. She saved him.
194
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,548
Just like she saved America.
195
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,085
Can I have some more cake?
Jenny made it.
196
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,353
I used to cook for my squadron.
197
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,755
You've done so many great things
198
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,690
that you keep telling us about.
199
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,660
Here we are...
our sensory deprivation tanks
200
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,095
will disconnect you from the world
201
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,064
and connect you with yourselves.
202
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,899
Okay, so, this looks a little coffin-y.
203
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,902
So, I'm not so sure... about my husband.
204
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,605
He had an MRI last year,
and he sort of freaked out.
205
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,106
So, do you have anything bigger,
206
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,475
like, an indoor pool or a family tank?
207
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,877
Okay, Mitchell, I-I'm fine.
208
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,012
We're here to evolve and grow...
209
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,947
So, the float lasts for one hour,
210
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,183
during which most people
simply experience
211
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,252
a deep, relaxed state.
212
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,821
Most people? W-What about the rest?
W-What do they experience?
213
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,290
Okay, a-are these scratches
on this lid here?
214
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,826
Oh, come on, Mitchell.
The flower that blooms in adversity
215
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,795
is the most rare and beautiful of all.
216
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:17,962
Very well put.
217
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,365
He didn't make that up.
It's from "Mulan".
218
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,000
Our daughter made us
watch it a thousand times.
219
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:25,603
I... Well, I'm lashing! Okay,
maybe we should just float.
220
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,040
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
- Let's just float.
221
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,708
Okay.
222
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:37,182
[WATER TRICKLING]
223
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,383
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
224
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,785
I tried to relax in there, I really did.
225
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:41,953
But it was difficult.
226
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,255
I-I guess because I felt
like I was, um...
227
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,423
Oh, what's the word?
228
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,858
Dying.
229
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,359
But I got past that,
230
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,229
only to start reliving every
mistake I have ever made,
231
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,665
like when I went to
an Oscar party and I said
232
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,768
"Bett" Davis in front of a room
full of vicious gays.
233
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,636
Honestly, the only thing
that kept me in there
234
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,638
was the knowledge that Cam
was right next door.
235
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,241
Go Royals! I-I love you!
236
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,509
It was a solid plan...
237
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,411
just go for a quick peek,
take some pictures,
238
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,012
run back, splash some water in my hair,
239
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,516
"Oh, Mitchell, isn't floating
so relaxing?"
240
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,519
[BAT CLANGS]
241
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,455
Got it!
242
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,489
Nice catch.
243
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,058
- Oh.
- That was good.
244
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,961
Oh, my gosh. Uh, M-Mr. Brett.
I didn't know you would be here.
245
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,095
Hi. Call me George.
246
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,330
- Oh, George.
- Yeah, how are ya?
247
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,565
- Uh, good. My name's Cameron.
- Nice to meet you, Cam.
248
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,833
Nice to meet you. Been a fan for...
249
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,268
Hey, do you mind if I get a picture?
250
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,637
Not at all. Not at all.
300 bucks, how's that sound?
251
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,639
I'm retired.
252
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,274
- 300?
- I'm just kidding.
253
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,209
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- Come on, it's free.
254
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,410
Okay... Ow!
255
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:41,246
[BOTH LAUGH]
256
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,647
Alright. There it is.
257
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,449
- There they are!
- There ya go!
258
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,184
Well, listen, I don't want to
take up too much of your time.
259
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,585
- Thank you s...
- I got all the time in the world.
260
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,087
I'm not playing. I'm just coaching.
261
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,321
- Okay.
- Yeah. Come here.
262
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,990
Let me tell you the story
about the Pine Tar game.
263
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,391
- Oh, wow!
- You wanna hear that?
264
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,692
- Sure.
- Come on.
265
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,394
- Okay.
- But first, let me tell you about...
266
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,429
I'm gonna tell you about dinner
the night before.
267
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,168
You must be the genius boyfriend.
268
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,736
That is what the guys call me.
269
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,404
They're always, like, you know,
270
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,474
"Hey, genius". I'm like, "Hey, guys".
271
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,809
So, tell me, are there aliens?
272
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,144
You kidding? 100%.
273
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,847
Oh, I knew it. Wait,
and the zombiepocalypse?
274
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,315
Dude, I tell everyone,
275
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,752
"Start building up an immunity
to zombie bites. Now".
276
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,887
I'm so glad we talked.
277
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,323
Um. Sorry for the interruption.
278
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,159
- Everything okay?
- Well, the short story is, yes.
279
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,196
The long story is, the theory
on which I've based
280
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,698
much of my career
has just been disproven.
281
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,800
What? Your Vacuum Energy
Density Theory?
282
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,389
- I'm... I'm so sorry.
- Me, too.
283
00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:40,572
That was the density theory
I thought really worked.
284
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,941
Really, Phil, what
was your second choice?
285
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,243
Well, that's all part of
the process, isn't it?
286
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,546
My theory actually invalidated
someone else's.
287
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,615
He jumped off a building...
288
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,750
just very dramatic.
289
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,954
But, well, I'm British.
So, no worries.
290
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,156
[SIGHS] What smells so good?
291
00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,857
Uh. Uh, it's the chicken!
292
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,360
So, Bill, you are a firefighter?
293
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,929
Yeah, my three favorite things
are helping people,
294
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,332
sliding down poles,
and hanging off trucks,
295
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,567
so I figured might as well
make a career out of it.
296
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:10,902
Well, it's good that
your favorite things
297
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,239
weren't chloroform, duct tape,
and windowless vans.
298
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,075
[LAUGHTER]
299
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,210
Claire, the joke is he'd be a kidnapper.
300
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,411
I got it.
301
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,648
You know, Phil used to think
it was "duck" tape.
302
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,083
Like, duck.
303
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,318
Claire didn't understand
the ending of "La La Land".
304
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,921
Sorry. They're not normally like this.
305
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,155
Clearly, they're going through something
306
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,724
they can't even drop
for one important lunch.
307
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,259
They're arguing over who's smarter,
308
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,893
and there's only one way to settle it.
309
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,528
Another time, in the presence
of a marriage counselor?
310
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,030
Nope. Brain Battle.
311
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,765
No. No, we're not doing that right now.
312
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,667
I'm so sorry, Arvin. We're being silly.
313
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,502
"How many presidents died in office?"
314
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,637
- Eight.
- Six.
315
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,005
The correct answer is eight.
316
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,240
- Ha! Ha!
- Damn it. Give me another one.
317
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,942
Why was six afraid of seven?
318
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,879
'Cause seven, eight, nine.
319
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,948
Like he "ate" it.
320
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,249
"Who wrote 'Moby Dick'?"
321
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,318
Herman Munster. Herman Munster.
322
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,120
- Herman Melville.
- Melville!
323
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,555
"How many moons does Jupiter have?"
324
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,992
Oh, is it alright if I take this one?
325
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,061
- Mm-hmm.
- 27.
326
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,162
67.
327
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,897
Hmm? No, that's... that's wrong.
328
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:17,669
67 is Uranus and Jupiter's 27,
right, Alex?
329
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,504
Actually, no.
330
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,005
But it's a simple mistake, though.
331
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:24,008
- You just flipped them.
- Well, this is mortifying, isn't it?
332
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,845
I have a doctorate
in astrophysics. Idiot.
333
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,582
First, some puffed-up Swedes
invalidate my life's work.
334
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:35,753
And then I'm bested by
a little bedtime gurgle cup!
335
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,022
I'm sorry. I'm going to need a moment.
336
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,158
67 moons. What an idiot.
337
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,561
Well, all's I know is
338
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,229
the Earth only has one moon
339
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,566
and I saw a documentary
and we didn't even land on it.
340
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,601
Oh, my God, stop talking.
341
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,072
You know, you're being kind of mean.
342
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,406
I'm gonna need a moment, too.
343
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,008
This is why I don't bring
boyfriends home.
344
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,911
Why didn't you ask me before
inviting him to lunch?
345
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,916
"This Paul Newman character
had a 'cool hand'?"
346
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,851
- Luke!
- Yep.
347
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,220
Counts! Counts.
348
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:13,458
Henry's dad climbed the wall
with one hand! It was awesome!
349
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,526
Yeah, well, his career
rides on Matt Damon
350
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,762
not doing any artsy, think-y movies,
351
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,097
so I wouldn't count on Henry
352
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:20,865
- going to your school much longer.
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
353
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,636
What the hell? I made that light.
354
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,505
Oh, geez. Another ticket.
355
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,874
Henry's mom drove a tank!
356
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,143
"Henry's mom!" "Henry's mom!"
357
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,378
[ENGINE REVS]
358
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,781
- What are you doing, Gloria?
- I want to see Henry's mom do this!
359
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,152
[SIREN CHIRPS]
360
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,620
Yay! He's chasing us!
361
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:43,855
This feels like a bad idea.
362
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,723
Okay, too late, because
I'm already committed!
363
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,158
[WATCH BEEPS] Heart rate... high.
364
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,227
- Heart rate... high.
- What is the plan, Gloria?
365
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,428
We're going to the mall!
366
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,863
You know why I tease you
about your shopping?
367
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,831
Well, you do have a problem.
368
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,568
[TIRES SCREECH]
369
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,371
Okay, get down and don't move.
370
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,641
That's gonna be tough.
I can smell Cinnabon.
371
00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:07,748
Hey!
372
00:14:07,817 --> 00:14:09,316
- Where have you been?
- Oh, hey.
373
00:14:09,385 --> 00:14:11,352
I just stayed in the tank
a little... a little extra.
374
00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:12,586
How... What a great experience.
375
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,156
- Just being alone with yourself...
- Oh, I was never alone.
376
00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:18,692
I-I saw the face of every bully,
I replayed every humiliation...
377
00:14:18,761 --> 00:14:20,027
Is this about "Bett" Davis again?
378
00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:22,163
Okay, we had just watched
"Ruthless People".
379
00:14:22,231 --> 00:14:24,231
You're thinking Midler.
You gotta let it go.
380
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:25,599
I know. I'm... I'm gonna try.
381
00:14:25,701 --> 00:14:27,435
But as scared as I was in there,
382
00:14:27,537 --> 00:14:28,969
I kept thinking about how
383
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,838
you're the one person
who makes me feel safe.
384
00:14:30,907 --> 00:14:33,274
And it made me want to be
a better husband
385
00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:36,777
and to be more present,
to be more understanding, to...
386
00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:38,078
Why... Why's your face red?
387
00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:39,513
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
388
00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:41,482
Oh, just probably 'cause
of the toxins, you know...
389
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,617
And your arms, too,
but only up to the...
390
00:14:43,686 --> 00:14:44,785
You have a farmer's tan.
391
00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:45,920
What have I told you
about that expression?
392
00:14:46,022 --> 00:14:47,555
- I can say it...
- Oh, my...
393
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:50,791
T-T-That's why you're burned.
You went Royal watching!
394
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:52,593
I was only gonna stay for
a second, but George Brett...
395
00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:54,195
George... George Brett cornered me.
396
00:14:54,263 --> 00:14:56,330
And you know how I am
with famous people. I can't say "No".
397
00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:58,466
Remember when I spent
the entire day at the pool
398
00:14:58,568 --> 00:14:59,633
with Downtown Julie Brown?
399
00:14:59,702 --> 00:15:00,968
You shamed me into coming here
400
00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:03,871
only to leave me soaking
in a bowl of trauma soup?
401
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:05,272
Okay, whoa, whoa.
W-What happened about be...
402
00:15:05,374 --> 00:15:06,574
being more understanding?
403
00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:08,275
I can't believe you're turning
this into my fault.
404
00:15:08,377 --> 00:15:09,510
This is so like you, Cam.
405
00:15:09,579 --> 00:15:10,778
Hello, again.
406
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,447
Please follow me to
your guided silent meditation.
407
00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,383
Before we begin,
408
00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,752
the chef has asked me
to reassure everyone
409
00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:20,955
that there's nothing wrong
with the tempeh.
410
00:15:21,057 --> 00:15:23,958
It's supposed to taste that way.
411
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,259
Alright.
412
00:15:25,328 --> 00:15:27,495
Deep breath. In through the nose.
413
00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:29,430
Out through the mouth.
414
00:15:29,532 --> 00:15:32,900
Only in silence can we be truly present.
415
00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:34,468
But be prepared...
416
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,637
errant feelings may arise.
417
00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:40,608
Anxiety, doubt, anger...
418
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:43,611
Now, take a breath
and let those feelings pass
419
00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:45,779
like clouds in the sky.
420
00:15:45,882 --> 00:15:48,482
The tension is melting away.
421
00:15:48,584 --> 00:15:49,850
That's it.
422
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:54,889
Live in this moment of serenity
and stillness.
423
00:15:54,957 --> 00:15:57,892
We're so accustomed to
424
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,029
going, going, going.
But we need to just stop.
425
00:16:02,098 --> 00:16:06,233
Ask yourself the important questions.
426
00:16:06,302 --> 00:16:08,969
Are you running away
from difficult feelings?
427
00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:13,607
Are you holding on to petty grievances?
428
00:16:15,211 --> 00:16:17,912
Are you being the best you?
429
00:16:19,782 --> 00:16:22,917
It's not too late to find your way back.
430
00:16:23,019 --> 00:16:24,051
To the light,
431
00:16:24,153 --> 00:16:26,687
to forgiveness,
432
00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:29,356
to love.
433
00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:30,591
It was amazing.
434
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:31,792
There were no words,
435
00:16:31,894 --> 00:16:33,394
but I could feel Cam
436
00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:35,496
taking full responsibility
for our fight.
437
00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:38,532
Total silence, but Mitchell's eyes said,
438
00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,000
"It's all on me".
439
00:16:40,069 --> 00:16:42,970
You know, "I was wrong.
What would I do without you?"
440
00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:44,538
It was a beautiful weekend.
441
00:16:44,607 --> 00:16:46,140
Plus, George Brett signed my ball.
442
00:16:46,242 --> 00:16:47,308
[CHUCKLES]
443
00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:49,610
Oh, "To Cam, all my best wishes,
George Brett.
444
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,279
P.S. We are not done with this"?
445
00:16:52,381 --> 00:16:54,081
Mitchell!
446
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,050
Did you write on my ball?!
447
00:16:57,887 --> 00:16:59,420
Hey, where's Bill?
448
00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:01,322
I don't know. He's probably outside.
449
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:03,757
When he gets agitated,
he likes to climb stuff.
450
00:17:03,826 --> 00:17:06,160
That lunch was insane.
Can you believe Mom and Dad?
451
00:17:06,228 --> 00:17:08,963
No, and, uh, I can't believe you either.
452
00:17:09,065 --> 00:17:10,564
You're so mean to Bill.
453
00:17:10,666 --> 00:17:11,832
What do you have against hot people?
454
00:17:11,901 --> 00:17:13,434
- What did we ever do to you?
- You lost me.
455
00:17:13,502 --> 00:17:15,135
You're gonna blow it with that guy,
456
00:17:15,204 --> 00:17:16,570
and he's really nice.
457
00:17:16,672 --> 00:17:18,172
Why do you have to
make him feel so dumb?
458
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,440
Okay, you don't know
what you're talking about.
459
00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:20,641
Oh, yes, I do.
460
00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:23,077
Because it's the same way
you've always treated me.
461
00:17:23,179 --> 00:17:24,979
It sucks.
462
00:17:25,047 --> 00:17:26,513
You know what Arvin never does?
463
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:28,382
Makes me feel less smart than him.
464
00:17:28,451 --> 00:17:31,051
So, who cares if Bill's
not a member of Menses?
465
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,987
Look, this is the first
boyfriend you've ever had
466
00:17:33,055 --> 00:17:35,623
that is age appropriate, employed,
467
00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:37,358
and doesn't look like
he's dying on a ship.
468
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:38,859
I wouldn't say "boyfriend".
469
00:17:38,928 --> 00:17:40,894
He's more like a guilty pleasure.
470
00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:43,030
Guilty or not, that's the first
time I've ever heard you
471
00:17:43,132 --> 00:17:44,765
describe a guy as a "pleasure".
472
00:17:52,274 --> 00:17:54,108
Bill, I'm sorry!
473
00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:55,376
BILL: All good, babe.
474
00:17:55,444 --> 00:17:58,078
You're the one fire I can't put out.
475
00:17:58,147 --> 00:18:00,347
Well, also grease is pretty tricky.
476
00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:04,685
Arvin?
477
00:18:04,787 --> 00:18:06,453
TOGETHER: Oh.
478
00:18:06,522 --> 00:18:08,155
Arvin, hi. Are you okay?
479
00:18:08,224 --> 00:18:09,423
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes.
480
00:18:09,492 --> 00:18:10,624
Um... yes.
481
00:18:10,726 --> 00:18:13,327
I-I-I'm just a-a little embarrassed.
482
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,029
We're the ones who should
be embarrassed.
483
00:18:15,131 --> 00:18:17,665
We just made lunch so tense and weird.
484
00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:18,932
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm...
485
00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:22,236
I'm not terribly adept
at handling failure.
486
00:18:22,304 --> 00:18:25,339
My parents are both
overachieving academics...
487
00:18:25,441 --> 00:18:28,509
a doctor of philosophy
and a doctor of mathematics.
488
00:18:28,611 --> 00:18:30,678
- Wow!
- And Father is a doctor of medicine
489
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:33,080
and doctor of economics.
490
00:18:33,149 --> 00:18:35,549
I-I'm sorry. I just
need to shake it off.
491
00:18:35,651 --> 00:18:37,151
You know, stiff-upper-lip it.
492
00:18:37,253 --> 00:18:38,419
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, it's fine.
493
00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:40,154
Can we just pretend it never happened?
494
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:41,255
No.
495
00:18:41,323 --> 00:18:43,791
No, failure sucks.
496
00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,159
It's okay to feel bad.
497
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,594
Yeah, wallow a little.
Eat some ice cream.
498
00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:50,464
Day drink, that's how you
come out the other side.
499
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:53,534
You're... You're like
the inverse of my parents.
500
00:18:53,636 --> 00:18:54,968
Except the drinking.
501
00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:56,770
They're pickled most of the day.
502
00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:59,273
Well, you're not in their house.
503
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:02,009
This is House Dunphy... We fail here.
504
00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:03,744
Right. I mean, today our whole goal
505
00:19:03,813 --> 00:19:05,579
was to impress you.
We made fools of ourselves.
506
00:19:05,648 --> 00:19:07,915
I have a magic shop that's
bleeding money... thousands.
507
00:19:07,943 --> 00:19:08,949
- What?
- It's fine.
508
00:19:09,018 --> 00:19:10,117
Hey, what's all this, then?
509
00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:13,220
Oh, whoa. Did I get that from you?
Am I becoming Madonna?
510
00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:15,622
Your parents were actually
being quite lovely.
511
00:19:15,725 --> 00:19:18,859
Thank you for taking the time.
512
00:19:18,928 --> 00:19:21,729
Oh, and my parents' walls may be adorned
513
00:19:21,797 --> 00:19:24,064
with nothing but degrees and awards,
514
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:28,535
but they don't have one tenth
of your emotional intelligence.
515
00:19:28,637 --> 00:19:30,637
- Aww!
- Thank you.
516
00:19:30,706 --> 00:19:33,440
- But would you say it's an absolutel...
- If you had to pick a winner...
517
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:35,342
- Okay, stop it.
- Just...
518
00:19:37,646 --> 00:19:39,279
That was so fun.
519
00:19:39,381 --> 00:19:40,714
My heart is racing.
520
00:19:40,783 --> 00:19:43,317
You? My watch dialed my cardiologist.
521
00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:45,385
I've never run from the cops before.
522
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,754
- Me either.
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
523
00:19:46,822 --> 00:19:49,423
Lights!
524
00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:52,659
I can't wait to tell everyone
how cool you guys are!
525
00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:54,328
We're not cool, Joe.
526
00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:56,697
That's not what people do
when a policeman pulls them over.
527
00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:58,699
In fact, there's nothing cool about us.
528
00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:00,334
Well, I don't think
we should be lumped into...
529
00:20:00,436 --> 00:20:02,369
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
- Lights!
530
00:20:02,471 --> 00:20:04,571
Joe, there are more important
things than being cool.
531
00:20:04,673 --> 00:20:06,440
Uh, like what?
532
00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:08,308
Look, the point is, Joe,
we love you too much
533
00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:11,145
to let you think dumb moves
like this are okay.
534
00:20:11,247 --> 00:20:14,548
So, what do we do now?
535
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:16,517
We're gonna do the right thing.
536
00:20:21,824 --> 00:20:23,624
Officer!
537
00:20:23,726 --> 00:20:24,758
Uh...
538
00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:30,631
Where's Cinnabon?
539
00:20:32,094 --> 00:20:35,231
GEORGE: Sure enough, they call me out
for using too much pine tar.
540
00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:38,738
I run out there and just go
berserk on these umpires.
541
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:40,044
- But everybody remembers...
- Ugh!
542
00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:41,583
- Watch out. That's a base.
- Yeah.
543
00:20:41,618 --> 00:20:42,983
- That's third base.
- Third base.
544
00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:44,237
That's where I used to play.
You remember that?
545
00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:45,641
Yeah. Should we do...
546
00:20:45,935 --> 00:20:47,403
So, when you would stand here,
547
00:20:47,438 --> 00:20:49,901
you would just kind of basically
be in an athletic...
548
00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:50,977
I played college football...
549
00:20:51,012 --> 00:20:52,526
GEORGE: You would get
right here like this and say,
550
00:20:52,561 --> 00:20:53,681
"Please don't hit it to me".
551
00:20:53,716 --> 00:20:54,873
[BOTH LAUGH]
552
00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:55,931
CAM: That's how I feel!
553
00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,855
I'm gonna get you back!
554
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,880
Synced and corrected by BLuk
www.addic7ed.com
555
00:21:03,305 --> 00:22:03,296
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