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1
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,632
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:54,804
(both screaming)
3
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,306
Ahh!
4
00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:04,764
Ethel, what's the matter with you?
5
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:06,266
Are you crazy or something?
6
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,267
Oh, I'm sorry.
7
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,270
Come sneaking in on somebody like
that.
8
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,271
Well, I wanted to be sure
9
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,273
Fred wasn't here before I came in.
10
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,241
Well, for heaven's sake, why?
11
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,744
I want you to help me with something.
12
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,245
What?
13
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,747
Well...
14
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,749
I don't know whether I mentioned it
or not,
15
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,251
BOTH: But I've got a birthday coming
up...
16
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,586
...this week.
17
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,005
Oh, did I mention it?
18
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,290
Only about 18 times
19
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,125
in the last three days.
20
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,295
Oh. Well, Fred doesn't seem to have
gotten my message.
21
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,464
Where has he been, underwater?
22
00:01:38,882 --> 00:01:40,383
Will you help me?
23
00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:41,885
Well, okay.
24
00:01:41,885 --> 00:01:43,887
I just hope he gives you something
nicer
25
00:01:43,887 --> 00:01:44,888
than he gave you last year.
26
00:01:44,888 --> 00:01:45,889
Wasn't that awful?
27
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,390
You know, I never did figure out
28
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:49,275
what that was supposed to be.
29
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,777
Neither did I.
30
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,562
It was too long to be a stole
31
00:01:52,562 --> 00:01:54,864
and too short to be a volleyball net.
32
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,068
You know, on second thought, Ethel,
33
00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:01,070
maybe we'd better keep Fred from
finding out
34
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:02,071
it's your birthday.
35
00:02:02,071 --> 00:02:04,073
No, I'd rather have a terrible
present
36
00:02:04,073 --> 00:02:05,291
than no present at all.
37
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,127
You're right, it's not the gift that
counts,
38
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,963
it's the lack of thought behind it.
39
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,382
I'm glad you're gonna help me.
40
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,384
Hey, why don't you and Fred come over
for dinner tonight.
41
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,385
We'll both work on him.
44
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,888
and I'll be real subtle, see?
45
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,390
Oh, that ought to do it. Thanks.
46
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,391
Okay.
I'll see you later.
47
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,392
All right.
48
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,393
Good.
49
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,894
You want some more cake, Fred?
50
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:25,728
No, thanks.
51
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,149
Um, speaking of cake,
52
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,151
did you all see the huge birthday
cake
53
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,653
that was in the window of the Speedy
Cleaners?
54
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,625
It was the Speedy Cleaners' 40th
birthday.
55
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,043
LUCY: Mm-hmm.
56
00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:42,328
Oh... and I didn't send them
anything.
57
00:02:45,215 --> 00:02:48,301
Goldblatt's Delicatessen had a
birthday last week.
58
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,136
It was their 50th.
59
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,009
It just seems like everybody in the
neighborhood
60
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,510
is having a birthday.
61
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,512
Let's see, who else do we know
62
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,514
that has a birthday about this time?
63
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,733
Can I have another cup of coffee,
Lucy?
64
00:03:03,733 --> 00:03:05,018
Yeah.
65
00:03:09,072 --> 00:03:11,074
You know, I have the strangest
feeling
66
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:13,076
that someone we all know and love
67
00:03:13,076 --> 00:03:15,411
has a birthday coming up very soon.
68
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,865
Someone's going to get clobbered
69
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,700
if he doesn't remember.
70
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,120
Excuse me, please.
71
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,625
Want some sugar, Fred?
72
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,126
No, thanks.
73
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,127
Cream?
74
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,428
No, thanks.
75
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,221
Happy birthday, sweetheart!
76
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,941
(laughing)
77
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:47,694
You thought I'd forgotten, eh?
78
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,399
My birthday is months from now.
79
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,701
Oh?
80
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:57,153
She was talking about Ethel's
birthday.
81
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,155
Oh, Fred, you knew it all the time.
82
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,039
Sure.
83
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,541
Why did you let us
84
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:02,542
keep on talking?
85
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:03,910
Yeah. What's the matter with you.,
Fred?
86
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,378
I just wanted to see how far
87
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,380
you two clowns would go.
88
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,381
I'll put this away.
89
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,382
Just a minute.
90
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,883
How come you have this box of candy
91
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:12,635
all ready to give to me?
92
00:04:12,635 --> 00:04:13,419
Well, uh...
93
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,921
And with a card
94
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,923
that says "Happy Birthday"?
95
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,225
Ricky?
96
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:22,011
Well, uh...
97
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,013
if you must know...
98
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,899
this is my emergency present.
99
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:30,353
(laughing)
100
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,606
Emergency present, huh?
101
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,943
"Happy Anniversary."
102
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,445
"Happy Mother's Day."
103
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,448
"Happy Valentine's Day."
104
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,451
"Merry Christmas."
105
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,953
Oh, and here's a pip.
106
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:47,954
"I'm sorry, dear.
107
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,340
Can't we please be friends again?"
108
00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:54,794
(laughing)
109
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,796
Well, I'll...
I'll put it away.
110
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,632
Why? I certainly won't be surprised
next time.
111
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,100
You might be.
112
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,935
These chocolates are three years old.
113
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:05,805
That's great, Rick.
114
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,807
I'll have to remember that gag.
115
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:10,810
Honestly, these men.
116
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,564
What, uh, birthday is it, Ethel?
117
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,869
Ethel, what birthday is it?
118
00:05:19,869 --> 00:05:21,654
Oh, it's mine.
119
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,409
I meant, how old are you gonna be?
120
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,661
She know what you meant.
121
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,047
Ricky Ricardo, I'm surprised at you.
122
00:05:31,047 --> 00:05:33,049
It's not nice to ask a woman's age.
123
00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:34,050
Thanks, Lucy.
124
00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:36,552
Besides, it's none of your business
125
00:05:36,552 --> 00:05:37,553
if Ethel is 53.
126
00:05:37,553 --> 00:05:40,390
I am not!
127
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:41,641
I'm only...
128
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:44,977
Oh, no, you don't.
129
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,480
Ha, ha! Darn it, it almost worked.
130
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,981
Ah, you think you're so smart.
131
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:50,817
I'll never tell you my age.
132
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:51,984
I'll tell you.
133
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,820
Fred Mertz, don't you dare.
134
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:54,821
Go ahead, tell us.
135
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,189
Fred!
136
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,192
Nah, honeybunch, I'm not going to
tell them your exact age.
137
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,695
Let's just say it's somewhere between
the Speedy Cleaners
138
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,697
and Goldblatt's Delicatessen.
139
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,667
(guffawing)
140
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:12,171
Well, so long as you know
141
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:13,673
I got a birthday coming up,
142
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,675
where had you planned to take me to
celebrate?
143
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,176
Well, I loved what we did
144
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,177
last year, honeybunch.
145
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:19,679
What was that, Fred?
146
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,597
Well, we just had a cozy little
dinner
147
00:06:21,597 --> 00:06:22,882
at home, just the two of us.
148
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,517
That's sounds very romantic.
149
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:25,351
Oh, it was.
150
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:26,853
I bought the groceries,
151
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:27,854
I cooked the dinner,
152
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,355
and by the time I finished washing
the dishes,
153
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:32,141
he was in front of the television set
asleep.
154
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:32,975
(guffawing)
155
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,977
Happy birthday to me.
156
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,480
I tell you what let's do this year.
157
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,982
Let's all go someplace for a fancy
dinner
158
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,984
and then go to the theater and see a
play.
159
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:42,985
Oh, that'd be wonderful.
160
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:43,986
Would you like that?
I'd love it.
161
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:45,955
I don't think that's a very good
idea.
162
00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:50,543
Fred, it'll be our present to Ethel.
It's on us.
163
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:51,411
Yeah.
164
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,213
Hey, that is a pretty good idea.
165
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:57,133
Oh, what a sport I married.
166
00:06:57,133 --> 00:06:58,634
Okay, then that's all settled.
167
00:06:58,634 --> 00:06:59,635
Come on, let's play cards.
168
00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,139
That was quite a game.
169
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:04,257
Yeah.
170
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,258
Thanks for a wonderful dinner, Lucy.
171
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:06,559
You're welcome.
172
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,677
And, Ricky, thanks in advance
173
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:09,479
for dinner and the theater on my
birthday.
174
00:07:09,479 --> 00:07:10,980
That's a wonderful present.
175
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:11,764
Well... you're welcome.
176
00:07:12,148 --> 00:07:13,099
Hey, Fred, you know a present
177
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,100
you can give me sometime?
178
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,601
What?
179
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,603
You can fix that leaky faucet in the
kitchen.
180
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,605
Oh, how long has that been leaking
now?
181
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,107
Four months now.
182
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,108
Ah, don't worry.
183
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,609
I'll get around to it in due time.
184
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,111
Oh, swell.
185
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,112
ETHEL: Come on. Good night, Rick.
186
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,113
Good night, honey.
187
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,114
Good night, Rick.
Good night, honey.
188
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,615
Good night, Fred.
Good night.
189
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,619
Oh, honey, I'm real tired.
190
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,620
I think I'll go to bed, huh?
191
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,122
Okay. I'll be right in.
192
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:37,840
(sighing)
193
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,842
(knock at door)
194
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,133
Fred.
195
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,636
Now, where's that little old leaky
faucet?
196
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,138
At this hour?
197
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,640
Well, it was on my mind.
198
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,146
This is just an excuse to get away
from Ethel.
199
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,147
Oh, oh, oh.
200
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,648
Will you do me a favor?
201
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,150
Sure, Fred.
202
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,652
I want you to buy Ethel's present for
me.
203
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,155
Oh, sure, I can, but why don't you
want to do it?
204
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,457
Well, she doesn't seem to like the
presents I buy.
205
00:08:11,457 --> 00:08:13,626
What makes you say that?
206
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,496
Well, I've been buying her presents
for 26 years now,
207
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,799
and after I give them to her, I never
see them again.
208
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:20,666
Well...
209
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:26,639
Now, you buy her something real nice,
will you?
210
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,140
With this?
211
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:32,144
Well, all right.
212
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,146
Okay, did she give you any hints
about what she wanted?
213
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,933
Well, she did say this morning she
needed a new toaster.
214
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,234
Oh, Fred.
215
00:08:38,234 --> 00:08:40,736
Women don't like practical gifts like
toasters.
216
00:08:41,237 --> 00:08:43,239
They like something that's feminine
and fun.
217
00:08:43,739 --> 00:08:44,740
You know, a gifty gift.
218
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,526
Well, I'll leave the whole thing to
you.
219
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,910
Oh, all right.
I'll go shopping tomorrow.
220
00:08:48,411 --> 00:08:49,912
I'll get her something real pretty,
huh?
221
00:08:49,912 --> 00:08:50,913
Thank you, honey.
Good night.
222
00:08:51,414 --> 00:08:51,914
Good night.
223
00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:53,416
Forgot my wrench.
224
00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:54,917
Hey, uh, as long as you're here,
225
00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:56,669
how about fixing the faucet?
226
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:57,503
At this hour?
227
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,838
Are you crazy?
228
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:16,706
Psst, Fred, Fred.
229
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:17,707
Hi.
230
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:19,208
Shh.
231
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:21,711
Oh.
232
00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:29,218
(whispers): There.
233
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:30,519
Well, hi, Fred.
234
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:32,021
Hi, Lucy.
235
00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:33,522
Hey, Ricky got tickets for Over The
Teacups.
236
00:09:33,522 --> 00:09:34,523
I don't believe it.
237
00:09:34,523 --> 00:09:36,525
He did; go on up and see him.
238
00:09:36,525 --> 00:09:37,526
Here I go.
Ethel?
239
00:09:38,027 --> 00:09:39,028
Yeah.
240
00:09:40,529 --> 00:09:43,032
Hi! I thought I heard your voice out
here.
241
00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:44,533
Guess what play Ricky got tickets
for.
242
00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:45,818
What?
243
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,236
Over The Teacups.
244
00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:48,704
Over The Teacups!
245
00:09:48,704 --> 00:09:50,206
Oh, that's the biggest hit in town.
246
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:51,707
How did he do that?
247
00:09:51,707 --> 00:09:53,209
Well, he said he had to pull a lot of
strings,
248
00:09:53,709 --> 00:09:55,711
but nothing was too much trouble for
your birthday.
249
00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:57,463
Oh, he's a dear.
250
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,415
He's a real Cuban doll.
251
00:10:00,916 --> 00:10:04,136
This is gonna be the best birthday of
my whole life.
252
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:05,171
Dinner and a hit play.
253
00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:07,556
Oh...
254
00:10:07,556 --> 00:10:08,758
What's the matter now?
255
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:12,311
I haven't got a thing to wear.
256
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:13,646
Oh, come now, Ethel.
257
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:15,431
Surely you must have something.
258
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:19,151
Well, I got a dress that would do,
but my coat's so tacky.
259
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,936
What coat do you usually wear?
260
00:10:20,936 --> 00:10:23,155
Yours, but you're going.
261
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,527
What about that gold lame jacket of
yours?
262
00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:31,330
You mean that green lame jacket of
mine?
263
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,365
Tarnished?
264
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,033
It's tarnished.
265
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,168
Maybe you can get it dry-cleaned.
266
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:37,453
Or I could polish it.
267
00:10:37,453 --> 00:10:38,671
Ha, ha!
268
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,006
You wouldn't believe
269
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,507
what that old coat looks like.
I'll show you.
270
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:43,376
You know how many years I've had it
anyway.
271
00:10:46,762 --> 00:10:47,763
Hey.
272
00:10:47,763 --> 00:10:48,764
What's this?
273
00:10:48,764 --> 00:10:50,266
What's what?
274
00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,268
This.
275
00:10:52,268 --> 00:10:54,770
Oh, it must be Fred's present to me.
276
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,272
How do you know?
277
00:10:56,272 --> 00:10:58,274
He always hides them in the closet.
278
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,446
Must be something to wear.
279
00:11:03,446 --> 00:11:05,448
Uh, well, Ethel, uh...
280
00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:08,234
aren't you going to peek inside and
see what it is?
281
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:12,121
No, I want to postpone the bad news
as long as possible.
282
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:14,040
Well, uh, Ethel,
283
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,542
may-maybe Fred got you something nice
this time.
284
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,410
Let's look.
285
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,880
Well... all right.
286
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,382
Maybe if I get the initial shock over
with,
287
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,885
I can act pleased when I open it in
front of Fred.
288
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:26,719
Yeah.
289
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:55,164
Well, he's done it again.
290
00:11:57,032 --> 00:11:58,284
What do you mean?
291
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:01,420
Oh, these make his other presents
look great.
292
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:05,124
Well, Ethel, I-I think they're kind
of cute.
293
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,625
What are they?
294
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,627
Well, they're hostess pants.
295
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:11,013
You wear them when you give smart
dinner parties.
296
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:13,466
Oh, I was wondering what to wear
297
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,268
at all those smart dinner parties I
give.
298
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:21,056
Well, I-I saw them last month in
Harper's Bazaar.
299
00:12:21,056 --> 00:12:23,976
Well, they're certainly bizarre.
300
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:25,978
Well, now, wait a minute, Ethel.
Look.
301
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,481
You get yourself a little black,
off-the-shoulder blouse
302
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,983
and a big crushy belt and little
ballet slippers
303
00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:31,984
and you're all set.
304
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:33,953
What for? Halloween?
305
00:12:35,871 --> 00:12:36,872
Well, I like them.
306
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:39,625
I think this time Fred made a very
good choice.
307
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,410
Oh, don't try to defend him, Lucy.
308
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:44,413
Let's face it, all of his taste is in
his mouth.
309
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,801
Ethel, I think you're being very
ungrateful!
310
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,303
Fred pro-probably put a lot of time
and thought
311
00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:52,638
into picking these out.
312
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,006
He did not.
313
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,508
I know where they came from.
314
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,009
What I can't figure out
315
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,513
is how they got them to fit in a box
of Crackerjack.
316
00:13:02,398 --> 00:13:04,900
(chuckling)
317
00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:09,405
(laughing out loud)
318
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:12,408
You know, these are so ridiculous,
they're funny.
319
00:13:12,408 --> 00:13:14,276
(guffawing)
320
00:13:14,276 --> 00:13:16,245
Oh, brother.
321
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:20,249
I'd like to meet the idiot that
talked him into these.
322
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,751
(guffawing)
323
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,253
How do you do.
324
00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:25,254
How do you do.
325
00:13:25,254 --> 00:13:26,755
What do you mean?
326
00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:27,756
For your information,
327
00:13:27,756 --> 00:13:29,758
I am the idiot who talked him into
those.
328
00:13:29,758 --> 00:13:32,211
Oh, Lucy!
329
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,597
Oh, Lucy, I don't believe it.
330
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:36,098
I should have known more
331
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:38,100
than to get you something chic.
332
00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:39,101
Chic?
333
00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:41,303
I got no use for those.
334
00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:43,105
I wanted a toaster.
335
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,525
Well, Fred told me that,
336
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:49,862
but I couldn't believe you could be
that dull.
337
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,281
Listen, I'd look better wearing a
toaster
338
00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:54,283
than I wear those checkerboard
britches.
339
00:13:54,283 --> 00:13:56,702
I should have known better than to
get you anything
340
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,204
at the young, modern department.
341
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:02,074
Well, you're so young and modern, you
wear them.
342
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:03,542
Well, I would, but first,
343
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:06,378
I'd have to take them in six inches
in the seat!
344
00:14:07,796 --> 00:14:09,048
Oh!
345
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:09,832
Well, honeybunch,
346
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:11,834
you're going to the theater
347
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:12,835
for your birthday.
348
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:14,837
Yes, sir, it was tough, but we got
the tickets.
349
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:16,839
Well, you little Dickens,
350
00:14:16,839 --> 00:14:17,840
you've opened your present.
351
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,174
What did I give you?
352
00:14:19,174 --> 00:14:22,478
I mean, how do you like what I gave
you?
353
00:14:22,478 --> 00:14:23,929
Oh, it's not use, Fred.
354
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:24,930
I know Lucy picked them out.
355
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,433
You should have stuck with your own
taste.
356
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,434
You see, I told you we should
357
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,269
have bought the toaster.
358
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,739
Is this what you bought for Ethel?
359
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,241
You keep out of this!
360
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,692
Well, this is a switch.
361
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:37,693
You open your present,
362
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,194
find out you don't like it,
363
00:14:39,194 --> 00:14:40,696
and now you can exchange it
364
00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:42,581
before I even give it to you.
365
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,033
Yeah, this way,
366
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:46,035
everything works out perfectly.
367
00:14:46,035 --> 00:14:47,536
Yeah, but I'll bet
368
00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:49,538
you won't want to exchange these.
369
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:51,040
No, I won't because we're not
370
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,291
going to accept them.
371
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:53,626
What?
372
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,628
I refuse to go to the theater with
anyone
373
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,130
who thinks I'm a hippopotamus.
374
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,599
Did you call her that?
375
00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,100
No.
376
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,051
Ha!
377
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,385
All I did was intimate
378
00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:05,387
that she was a little hippy.
379
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:06,889
But on second glance,
380
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,608
she has got the biggest potamus I've
ever seen.
381
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,445
Fred, give him back those tickets.
382
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,948
Are you crazy? They cost $6.60
apiece.
383
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,866
I don't care if they cost $660.
384
00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:18,734
We're not going.
385
00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:19,702
Well, I am.
386
00:15:20,202 --> 00:15:21,203
Well, take somebody else.
387
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:23,205
Hey, there's an idea.
388
00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:25,457
Oh, no you don't.
389
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,242
There.
390
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:30,746
We offered you theater tickets and
you're going to take them.
391
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:31,747
We're not going.
392
00:15:31,747 --> 00:15:32,748
What?!
393
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,166
I have no intentions
394
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,668
of going to the theater
395
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,170
with someone who thinks my taste is
all in my mouth.
396
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,172
Pardon me.
397
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,175
Happy birthday,
398
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:46,011
and I hope you live another 75 years.
399
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,097
Oh!
400
00:15:49,598 --> 00:15:50,599
Hi, Rick.
401
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:52,101
Hi, Fred.
402
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,603
There-- Ethel won't use these
tickets.
403
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:56,488
Oh, that's too bad.
404
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:57,990
Did you ever see anybody as stubborn
405
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:00,492
as that old mule of mine?
406
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,494
Well, Lucy does pretty good.
407
00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:04,997
She wasn't gonna go if Ethel was
going.
408
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,499
Well, I'll let you know how the play
turns out.
409
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,001
You won't have to.
410
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:11,003
Ethel's got this thing stuck in her
craw.
411
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,005
She's got to go to this play on her
birthday
412
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,507
and I've got to buy some other
tickets.
413
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:19,428
You can't buy any other tickets,
Fred. It's a sellout.
414
00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:20,929
Hey, wait a minute.
415
00:16:20,929 --> 00:16:23,432
I'll tell you what we'll do.
416
00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:24,433
What?
417
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:25,934
Here.
418
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:28,437
You pay me for these and you tell
Ethel
419
00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:30,439
that you bought two tickets.
420
00:16:30,439 --> 00:16:31,940
What about Lucy?
421
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,944
I'll tell Lucy that you gave me your
tickets back
422
00:16:35,944 --> 00:16:37,446
and I sold them.
423
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:39,448
That way, they'll both agree to go.
424
00:16:39,948 --> 00:16:41,450
Mm-hmm, well, what are you gonna do
425
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:43,452
about our two mules sitting next to
each other?
426
00:16:43,452 --> 00:16:45,954
Put blinkers on them?
427
00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:47,456
You know how they are.
428
00:16:47,456 --> 00:16:50,459
By tomorrow night, they'll be the
best of friends.
429
00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:51,960
They can't stay mad at each other.
430
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:52,961
You're right.
431
00:16:52,961 --> 00:16:54,329
Sure.
432
00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:57,299
I'll go and tell, uh, Francis I
bought the tickets.
433
00:16:57,299 --> 00:16:59,301
(guffawing)
434
00:16:59,802 --> 00:17:00,302
Okay, Fred.
435
00:17:00,803 --> 00:17:01,804
See you later.
436
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,813
I guess it's right here.
437
00:17:11,313 --> 00:17:12,815
Loge seats!
438
00:17:12,815 --> 00:17:13,816
Yeah. Second and third in.
439
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:15,067
Pardon me.
440
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,351
Sorry.
441
00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:18,854
Thanks.
442
00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:31,166
Say, these seats aren't bad,
443
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:33,502
considering how tough they were to
get.
444
00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:35,621
Wasn't that a break they had a
cancellation
445
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,506
just as you got to the box office?
446
00:17:37,506 --> 00:17:40,509
Yep, yep. You didn't see Lucy at all
today, huh?
447
00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:43,011
I saw her; I didn't speak to her.
448
00:17:43,011 --> 00:17:45,130
Uh-huh. I thought probably you'd made
up.
449
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,132
You two are pretty good friends, you
know?
450
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,634
Eh.
451
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:51,637
Let me look around, huh?
452
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,192
Oh, isn't this thrilling?
453
00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:58,694
People who come to the theater
454
00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:02,197
always look so intellectual and
well-groomed.
455
00:18:05,701 --> 00:18:07,986
Present company excepted.
456
00:18:09,404 --> 00:18:11,406
I wonder who those two people are.
457
00:18:11,406 --> 00:18:13,408
Oh, I hope they don't come in late
458
00:18:13,408 --> 00:18:15,410
and crawl all over us.
459
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:16,912
If there's anything I can't stand,
460
00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:17,913
it's people who come in late
461
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:19,915
and crawl all over you.
462
00:18:19,915 --> 00:18:22,918
Quiet. Curtain's going up.
463
00:18:30,425 --> 00:18:30,926
(doorbell ringing onstage)
464
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:32,427
Pardon, please.
465
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:34,980
ACTOR: Good afternoon, Cynthia.
Lucy!
466
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,431
ACTRESS: Good afternoon, sir.
467
00:18:36,431 --> 00:18:37,683
What are you doing here?
468
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,017
What are you doing here?
469
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:40,519
Shh!
Go in, go in, honey.
470
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,020
I thought you said you took those two
tickets back.
471
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,022
I thought you got our tickets at the
box office.
472
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:45,023
Shh!
473
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,024
I thought you'd be friends by now.
474
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,025
Well, we're not.
475
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:49,027
Go in, honey.
No, I'm not going in.
476
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:51,530
MAN: Go on, lady. I can't hold this
all night.
477
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:52,531
Shut up.
478
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:53,532
Shh!
479
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,033
Well, I'm going in.
I don't care.
480
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,539
MAN: Just sit down. Sit down.
481
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:07,045
ACTRESS: Well, John, to what do I owe
this visit?
482
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,965
ACTOR: Oh, nothing.
483
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:12,968
ACTRESS: An important man like you...
484
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,551
(whispering): Let me see, Fred.
485
00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:56,595
ACTRESS: One lump or two?
486
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,096
ACTOR: Three.
487
00:19:58,096 --> 00:19:59,097
WOMAN (chcukling): You're not
fighting weight
488
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:01,433
like most of us, I fear.
489
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,402
The cookies are delicious.
490
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:04,403
Ricky?
491
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,404
Would you like...
492
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:06,405
I would.
493
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,406
(grumbling)
494
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:09,908
Fred, can I look through your
binoculars?
495
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,910
(shouting): I don't care!
496
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,161
(audience shushing)
497
00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:14,947
Why do you have to be so selfish?
498
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:15,948
Just let me...
499
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:22,537
(binoculars breaking)
500
00:20:32,347 --> 00:20:34,266
ACTRESS: I never see you anymore.
501
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,268
ACTOR: I've been awfully busy.
502
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:37,769
ACTRESS: Nonsense.
503
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:40,272
Your problem is that you have too
many friends.
504
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,774
ACTOR: Nobody ever has too many
friends.
505
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:46,645
Friendship is a terribly important
thing, Cynthia.
506
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,113
As a matter of fact,
507
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,116
friends are about the most important
thing
508
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:52,618
in the world.
509
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,119
Ha!
510
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,623
ACTOR: ...friendship, Cynthia.
511
00:20:57,623 --> 00:20:59,124
Don't let a friend get away.
512
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,125
You'll be sorry.
513
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,127
That's a hot one.
514
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,630
I'd like to hear this play if you
don't mind.
515
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,131
ACTOR: I'll tell you, Cynthia...
516
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,132
Who's stopping you?
517
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:08,634
You are, by talking so much.
518
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:09,635
Shh! Shh!
519
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:11,136
I've got just as much right to...
520
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:12,137
Oh, no, you haven't got just as much
right...
521
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:12,638
Yes, I have...
522
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,765
Ouch!
523
00:21:23,765 --> 00:21:25,567
Would you please sit down
524
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:27,819
and stop making so much noise?
525
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:30,188
I told you you were talking too much.
526
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,189
I wasn't talking any more than you
do.
527
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,691
(audience shushing)
528
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:33,692
At least when I talk, I say
something.
529
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,610
We're switching.
We're switching.
530
00:21:36,111 --> 00:21:36,611
Oh, we are?
Well, I'm glad.
531
00:21:37,112 --> 00:21:37,612
Sit over here while I...
532
00:21:38,113 --> 00:21:39,114
sit over here.
533
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:40,115
Sit there.
534
00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:41,616
I lost my shoe.
What?
535
00:21:41,616 --> 00:21:43,118
My shoe.
Your shoe?
536
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,122
There's your shoe.
537
00:21:57,265 --> 00:21:58,767
I got it.
I got it.
538
00:21:58,767 --> 00:22:00,102
(audience shushing)
539
00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:03,055
ACTRESS: That's right, I'll see you
Monday.
540
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:04,773
Now, John, what were you saying?
541
00:22:04,773 --> 00:22:08,276
ACTOR: Well, it's about your friend,
Marie Van Schlieg.
542
00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:10,278
ACTRESS: She is no friend of mine.
543
00:22:10,278 --> 00:22:12,280
What about her?
544
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,782
What about her, John?
545
00:22:13,782 --> 00:22:15,784
ACTOR: We just got a cable from the
Riviera
546
00:22:16,284 --> 00:22:17,786
where she's been vacationing.
547
00:22:17,786 --> 00:22:20,789
ACTRESS: Yes, this country isn't good
enough for her.
548
00:22:20,789 --> 00:22:22,791
Well, what about her?
549
00:22:22,791 --> 00:22:23,792
ACTOR: She's dead.
550
00:22:23,792 --> 00:22:26,745
ACTRESS: Dead?
551
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,747
I... I don't believe it.
552
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:31,049
(sobbing): Marie gone!
553
00:22:31,049 --> 00:22:32,384
ACTOR: Cynthia, Cynthia,
554
00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:34,886
you've got to get hold of yourself.
555
00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:36,388
You don't understand.
556
00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:38,173
Marie and I are friends.
557
00:22:38,173 --> 00:22:41,393
Only now she'll never know it.
558
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:43,845
Oh, John, we had a little quarrel.
559
00:22:44,346 --> 00:22:46,181
I said some terrible things,
560
00:22:46,181 --> 00:22:49,101
unforgivable things.
561
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,904
Oh, I'll never forgive myself.
562
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:55,774
We quarreled over some silly little
thing.
563
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:57,776
I don't even remember what it was.
564
00:22:58,276 --> 00:23:00,612
ACTOR: Don't blame yourself too much,
Cynthia.
565
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,031
ACTRESS: I should have been bigger.
566
00:23:03,031 --> 00:23:06,535
We were both too proud to say "I'm
sorry."
567
00:23:07,035 --> 00:23:11,289
Oh, what wouldn't I give to see her
one more time.
568
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:15,177
Just once more to tell her I'm sorry.
569
00:23:15,177 --> 00:23:18,096
Oh, what a lesson I've learned, John.
570
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:21,099
If only the whole world could learn
571
00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:23,602
never to quarrel with a dear friend.
572
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:28,940
And if you do, don't let foolish
pride keep you apart.
573
00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:30,392
Hold her in your arms
574
00:23:30,392 --> 00:23:32,394
and tell her you're sorry.
575
00:23:32,394 --> 00:23:35,147
Lucy! Ethel!
576
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,648
I'm sorry.
577
00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:38,650
I'm sorry.
578
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,652
Oh, it was all my fault.
579
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,988
No, it was my fault.
580
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:46,458
Will you two please sit down.
581
00:23:49,377 --> 00:23:52,380
We're, we're very sorry.
582
00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:54,883
Well, that's all right.
583
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:12,067
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
584
00:24:46,101 --> 00:24:49,104
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
Production.
585
00:24:49,104 --> 00:24:50,605
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
586
00:24:51,106 --> 00:24:53,892
will be back next week at this same
time.
39147
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