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1
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:13,630
(I Love Lucy theme music
plays)
2
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,251
Ah...
3
00:00:35,251 --> 00:00:36,753
And I'll tell you
something else.
4
00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:40,256
It's impossible for me to
lose weight on a diet.
5
00:00:40,256 --> 00:00:41,257
I know what you mean.
6
00:00:41,758 --> 00:00:42,475
Me, too.
7
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:43,309
I tried.
8
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:44,811
I diet for four or five days
9
00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:46,312
and I lose an ounce or two
10
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,815
and then I see a piece of cake
or pie and I'm dead.
11
00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:50,266
That's the story
of my life.
12
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:51,267
Me, too.
13
00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:52,268
Ricky's been after me
14
00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:53,770
to lose a few pounds,
15
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,772
but I just don't seem to
have the courage to...
16
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:56,606
Wait a minute.
17
00:00:56,606 --> 00:00:58,074
Look around you.
18
00:00:58,575 --> 00:00:59,576
What's the matter?
19
00:00:59,576 --> 00:01:00,577
It's happened again.
20
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:01,578
What has?
21
00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:03,079
The great divide.
22
00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:05,582
Same thing happens
every time we have a party.
23
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,083
Look here.
24
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:11,204
You know, everybody
around the 18th green
25
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:12,705
was gathered around there.
26
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,707
You know, the whole membership
of the Thunderbird Club
27
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:15,708
was around the 18th green.
28
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:17,210
All I had to do was to make
29
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:20,713
this missly two-foot putt to
win, and I missed it.
30
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:23,216
Yeah. It's the "missly"
ones that get you.
31
00:01:23,216 --> 00:01:25,718
I'd rather try a ten-footer than
a two-footer
32
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:27,020
any day in the week.
I don't blame you.
33
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,855
It's all right.
Don't blame you.
34
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:29,856
LUCY:
See what I mean?
35
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,357
Women in one room,
men in the other.
36
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:32,358
Well?
37
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:33,359
What do you mean
"well"?
38
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,195
Why does it
have to be that way?
39
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,280
Why aren't we all in here,
talking together?
40
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,782
Give me one good reason.
41
00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:39,783
We're married.
44
00:01:48,658 --> 00:01:51,661
Well, we like talking about
babies and clothes and recipes
45
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,663
and they like to talk
about sports and politics.
46
00:01:53,663 --> 00:01:55,415
We're interested
in different things.
47
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,300
Sure. Just 'cause
we're married to men
48
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,803
doesn't mean we've got
anything in common.
49
00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:06,059
Don't you think this
situation is disgraceful?
50
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,343
Oh, I don't know.
51
00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:09,345
I've been going to parties ever
since I was married.
52
00:02:09,345 --> 00:02:10,597
It's always like this.
53
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:13,983
Sure. I thought this is the
way it was supposed to be.
54
00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:15,485
Well, I don't like it.
55
00:02:15,485 --> 00:02:17,987
Are we going to
continue to be sheep?
56
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,489
Well?
57
00:02:19,489 --> 00:02:20,990
Baaah!
58
00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:23,493
Well, I'm not.
59
00:02:23,493 --> 00:02:25,245
I want my husband to
pay attention to me.
60
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,613
So do I.
61
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,114
Okay.
62
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:28,998
Come on.
63
00:02:28,998 --> 00:02:30,500
Oh, frankly, I think
64
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:31,501
it's gonna be a good thing for
television.
65
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:32,502
Ricky.
Bill.
66
00:02:32,502 --> 00:02:33,503
Fred.
67
00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:34,003
Yeah?
Yes?
68
00:02:34,504 --> 00:02:35,004
Come on in here
with us.
69
00:02:35,505 --> 00:02:36,005
Yeah.
Come on.
70
00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:37,006
Okay.
Sure.
71
00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:38,007
I'll be right in.
Sure.
72
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,009
How do you think
color will take?
73
00:02:40,009 --> 00:02:41,010
Color?
74
00:02:41,511 --> 00:02:44,013
Well, there are two schools of
thought on that matter.
75
00:02:44,013 --> 00:02:47,016
Some people think, uh, well, it's
just around the corner.
76
00:02:47,016 --> 00:02:49,018
Others feel it's gonna be a
year or two.
77
00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:55,725
We didn't exactly
stampede the goats, did we?
78
00:02:56,226 --> 00:02:58,444
Maybe we'd better go down to
Abercrombie and Fitch
79
00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:01,781
and see if they sell
goat-mating calls.
80
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:04,701
You know, this is
pretty insulting.
81
00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:06,202
Yeah.
82
00:03:06,202 --> 00:03:07,704
I think so, too.
83
00:03:08,204 --> 00:03:09,706
I'm going to do
something about this.
84
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:11,040
Yeah. Come on.
Okay.
85
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,992
No, I-I read an article
by Harry Ackerman.
86
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,494
He was talking
about the color...
87
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,795
LUCY:
All right,
let's go.
88
00:03:16,212 --> 00:03:17,213
ETHEL:
Okay, Fred, break
it up. Come on.
89
00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:18,214
RICKY:
What are you doing?
90
00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,048
What's going on here?
91
00:03:19,048 --> 00:03:20,500
BILL:
All right, all right...
92
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,001
What are you doing?
93
00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,504
All we're talking about is a
little business.
94
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,505
ETHEL:
Come in here,
sit down...
95
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:27,006
What's going on
here?
96
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:28,007
There you are.
97
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,509
Ethel, what's
eating you?
98
00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,344
There. This is
more like it.
99
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:32,762
More like what?
100
00:03:32,762 --> 00:03:34,764
More like the way
it should be.
101
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:35,765
I don't get it.
102
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:36,766
Well, I'll explain it to you.
103
00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:38,268
We don't want you in there.
104
00:03:38,268 --> 00:03:39,269
We want you in here.
105
00:03:39,269 --> 00:03:40,270
Why?
106
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,071
Because we're married.
107
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:44,440
What are you trying to do,
rub it in?
108
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,411
Fred!
109
00:03:48,912 --> 00:03:49,913
I know.
110
00:03:49,913 --> 00:03:52,415
It's the same
old complaint.
111
00:03:52,415 --> 00:03:54,417
Lucy gets upset
every time the men
112
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,419
go into another room
and talk to each other.
113
00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:57,287
Yes.
114
00:03:57,287 --> 00:03:59,289
All right, we won't go into
another room
115
00:03:59,289 --> 00:04:01,040
and talk to each other
anymore, dear.
116
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,375
Well, that's better.
117
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,877
We can talk to
each other in here.
118
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,379
Now, that's not funny.
119
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,381
Husbands and wives should
certainly find something
120
00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:09,716
to talk to each
other about.
121
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,184
Why?
122
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,636
Come on now.
123
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:15,138
Shall we give it
the old-school try?
124
00:04:15,138 --> 00:04:15,939
Okay.
125
00:04:15,939 --> 00:04:17,357
(chuckles)
126
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,194
(clears throat)
127
00:04:24,614 --> 00:04:26,616
Uh, I saw Tom
Williams today.
128
00:04:27,116 --> 00:04:27,984
Tom Williams?
Mm-hmm.
129
00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:29,452
Good old Tom.
How is he?
130
00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:30,453
Fine.
That's good.
131
00:04:30,954 --> 00:04:31,454
Mm, glad to
hear it.
132
00:04:31,955 --> 00:04:32,956
Yeah, it's
nice to know
133
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,457
that good old Tom
is feeling well.
134
00:04:34,457 --> 00:04:35,959
Yes, sir.
135
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:36,960
(chuckles)
136
00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:43,299
Uh, I asked him to come here
tonight with his date.
137
00:04:43,299 --> 00:04:44,801
Oh, who is he
going with now?
138
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:45,802
Oh, some model.
139
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,220
He has a different date
every week.
140
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,221
That's for sure.
141
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,722
You think
he'll marry her?
142
00:04:49,722 --> 00:04:51,224
(chuckling):
No.
143
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,226
The last time I saw Tom was at
Madison Square Garden.
144
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,094
I think it was the night
that Charles fought Layne--
145
00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:56,562
Walcott fought Layne,
wasn't it?
146
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:57,563
Yeah, I remember that,
147
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,065
only it wasn't with
Charles and Layne,
148
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,400
it was Charles
and Walcott.
149
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,234
Oh, you're right.
150
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,735
That was a
great fight.
151
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,237
That's the second
Charles/Walcott fight...
152
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,738
Was a tremendous amount
of action, that fight.
153
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,740
You remember
what the action was?
154
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,742
It was the worst fight
I've ever seen in my life.
155
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,244
What are you
talking about?
156
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,246
He almost had him beaten
in the third round.
157
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,247
Aw, come on.
158
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,748
Listen,
I'll tell you
159
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,751
one guy that could have beaten
both Charles and Layne,
160
00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:20,253
and that's Louis.
161
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,255
No way. If you want to
go back, I'll tell you
162
00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:24,257
a guy who could have taken
Louis-- that's Dempsey.
163
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,259
If you really want
to go back,
164
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,045
I'll throw in you a guy that
could've taken both Dempsey
165
00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:30,380
and Louis at the same time.
166
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:31,381
Who's that?
167
00:05:31,381 --> 00:05:32,382
Bob Fitzsimmons.
168
00:05:32,382 --> 00:05:33,383
Oh...
Are you kidding?
169
00:05:33,383 --> 00:05:34,884
Oh, what do you mean, am I
kidding?
170
00:05:34,884 --> 00:05:35,885
Yeah.
That's the trouble
171
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:36,886
with you young punks.
172
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:37,887
You've never seen a
real fighter.
173
00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:38,888
Aw, now...
174
00:05:38,888 --> 00:05:40,390
Well, we'll
see this one
175
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:41,891
he's bringing tonight,
and then we'll find out.
176
00:05:41,891 --> 00:05:43,893
Oh, yeah.
Right. You
know...
177
00:05:43,893 --> 00:05:44,894
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
178
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:46,229
What's the matter?
179
00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:48,948
How does it feel
to be a sheep again?
180
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,366
Look around you.
181
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:53,703
Didn't take long for our party to
get back to normal, did it?
182
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:56,155
Oh, let's face it, Lucy.
183
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,957
We'll never gonna get them
out of the kitchen.
184
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,876
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
185
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:00,877
Well...
186
00:06:01,377 --> 00:06:01,878
(doorbell buzzes)
187
00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:03,880
Oh, that must be Tom.
188
00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:08,251
Oh, Tom,
189
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:09,218
Hi, Lucy. I'm
so glad
190
00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:10,219
you could come.
How are you?
191
00:06:10,219 --> 00:06:11,220
Nice to see you.
Hi, Ethel.
192
00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:12,221
Hi, Lou Ann.
193
00:06:12,722 --> 00:06:13,723
Sorry we're late,
194
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:15,224
but Eve had to do
a fashion show.
195
00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:16,726
Oh, that's quite all
right.
196
00:06:16,726 --> 00:06:19,228
Oh, uh, Eve Whitney.
This is Lucy Ricardo.
197
00:06:19,228 --> 00:06:20,229
How do you do?
198
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:21,564
Oh, how do you do, dear?
199
00:06:21,564 --> 00:06:22,982
This is Mrs. Mertz.
Hello.
200
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:23,983
How do you do?
201
00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:24,984
Mrs. Hall.
Hi.
202
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:25,985
How do you do?
203
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:28,488
This is Ethel, Lou
Ann and Eve.
204
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,990
May I have your wrap?
205
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,995
Oh, my, that certainly is
beautiful.
206
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,997
Thank you very much.
207
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,782
Um, where are
the fellas?
208
00:06:39,782 --> 00:06:41,584
Oh, they're out in the kitchen
as usual.
209
00:06:41,584 --> 00:06:43,336
You couldn't pry them out of
there with a crowbar.
210
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,004
Come on in, Eve.
I'll introduce you.
211
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,373
RICKY:
That guy in his prime could've
beat any one of those guys.
212
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:48,374
Hi, fellas.
213
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,375
Oh, hello, Tom.
Hello, Tom.
214
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,377
I'd like you to meet Eve
Whitney.
215
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:52,879
This is Ricky Ricardo.
216
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:53,880
How do you do?
217
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:54,881
How do you do?
218
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:55,882
And Fred Mertz.
219
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:56,883
How do you do?
220
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:57,884
How do you do?
221
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:58,885
Bill hall.
222
00:06:58,885 --> 00:06:59,886
How do you do?
223
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:00,887
How do you do?
224
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,389
Well, I won't bother
you gentlemen.
225
00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:04,891
I'll join the girls.
226
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,870
Oh, uh... light?
227
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:18,871
Light?
228
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,573
FRED:
Light?
229
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,375
BILL:
Light?
230
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:33,386
Well, I'll say this for her, she
got them out of the kitchen.
231
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:37,890
Yes. Apparently, all the old
goats needed was a young kid.
232
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,681
Hi.
233
00:07:46,182 --> 00:07:47,683
Good morning.
234
00:07:48,184 --> 00:07:50,686
What's good about it?
235
00:07:50,686 --> 00:07:52,688
You're right. Bad morning.
236
00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:59,195
Honestly, every time I
think about last night,
237
00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:00,997
I get mad all over again.
238
00:08:00,997 --> 00:08:01,864
Me, too.
239
00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:03,366
I haven't been such a wallflower
240
00:08:03,866 --> 00:08:07,370
since I was a foot taller than all
the boys in dancing school.
241
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:10,873
Did you notice
the way Ricky acted?
242
00:08:11,374 --> 00:08:13,376
He wasn't any worse than
the rest of them.
243
00:08:13,376 --> 00:08:14,377
Oh, yes, he was.
244
00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:16,212
He has a special line.
245
00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:17,630
Did you ever notice, Ethel,
246
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,132
that whenever he's around
a good-looking girl,
247
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,635
he becomes more Cuban?
248
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,640
The prettier the girl,
the thicker the accent.
249
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,141
That's right.
250
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,142
By the end of the evening,
251
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:33,646
I couldn't understand a
word he was saying.
252
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:38,701
Sounded like he had
a mouthful of frijoles.
253
00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:42,622
Did you get a load of
Fred Mertz?
254
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:48,411
I thought I'd die when he
suggested playing post office.
255
00:08:48,411 --> 00:08:52,715
Well, it was certainly
a grim little evening.
256
00:08:56,719 --> 00:08:59,222
Oh, well, there's no use
brooding about it.
257
00:08:59,222 --> 00:09:01,090
When you're married,
that's the way things are.
258
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,559
What do you mean "that's
the way things are"?
259
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,061
That's what we
thought last night.
260
00:09:05,061 --> 00:09:06,562
And then Eve
Whitney walked in
261
00:09:06,562 --> 00:09:08,431
and, suddenly, that's
the way things weren't.
262
00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:09,932
So?
263
00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:12,935
So, maybe it isn't
our husbands' fault.
264
00:09:12,935 --> 00:09:14,437
Maybe it's our fault.
265
00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:15,438
Maybe we've been
married so long,
266
00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:16,939
we've been letting
ourselves go.
267
00:09:16,939 --> 00:09:19,659
What do you mean by that?
268
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:22,945
What's Eve Whitney got
that we haven't got?
269
00:09:22,945 --> 00:09:24,447
Nothing.
270
00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:27,199
We've got just as much as
she's got, only lots more.
271
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:32,838
Yeah, but the lots more is
in all the wrong places.
272
00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:36,626
Ethel, what would
you say if I told you
273
00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:39,128
you could be just as
attractive as Eve Whitney?
274
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:42,632
I'd say you've
snapped your twig.
275
00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:46,135
Listen, Eve Whitney didn't
always look like that.
276
00:09:46,135 --> 00:09:48,137
How do you know? You never saw
her before last night.
277
00:09:48,638 --> 00:09:50,139
Because I heard her
talking to Bill Hall
278
00:09:50,139 --> 00:09:51,641
when he cornered her
279
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:54,143
and insisted on hearing
the story of her life.
280
00:09:54,143 --> 00:09:54,977
How about that?
281
00:09:55,478 --> 00:09:56,979
Wasn't that nauseating?
282
00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:58,481
Oh...
283
00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:02,451
Well, she told Bill Hall that she
went to a charm school.
284
00:10:02,451 --> 00:10:03,953
It did wonders for her.
285
00:10:04,453 --> 00:10:05,454
A charm school?
286
00:10:05,454 --> 00:10:06,956
Yes, and this is
the one she went to.
287
00:10:06,956 --> 00:10:08,958
The very same one.
288
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,960
"Phoebe Emerson Charm School."
289
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,461
"What is your C.Q.?"
290
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:13,963
That means charm quotient.
291
00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:16,966
"Come in and let us give
you a free analysis."
292
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:19,468
You and I are going down
there, Ethel.
293
00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:21,470
We are? Oh,
I don't think...
294
00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:24,724
Well, honey, we can't go wrong with
a free analysis.
295
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,509
That's right.
296
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:29,011
You think they can make
a glamour girl out of me?
297
00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:32,315
Sure. Says right here, "We
work miracles."
298
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,069
Well, thanks.
299
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,904
Oh, I meant on both of us.
300
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:40,406
Come on, let's make an
appointment.
301
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,245
No one here.
302
00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:49,248
Gee, isn't this
a beautiful place?
303
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:50,666
Lucy, I'm nervous.
304
00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:51,667
Well, so am I, dear,
305
00:10:52,168 --> 00:10:54,503
but just try to act poised and
sophisticated.
306
00:10:54,503 --> 00:10:55,921
Okay.
Look at this.
307
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,423
Oh... boy.
308
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,425
Ooh, look,
aren't they beautiful?
309
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,177
Jiminy.
310
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,461
LUCY: Oh,
she's really...
311
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,796
Good afternoon.
312
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:04,714
Oh, hello.
Hello.
313
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:05,715
Aren't they lovely?
314
00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,099
They're some of
our graduates.
315
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,434
Oh, really?
They're very beautiful.
316
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,353
I'm delighted to see you.
317
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:11,354
I'm Miss Emerson.
318
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:12,855
Oh. How do you do?
319
00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:14,357
I'm Mrs... uh...
320
00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:18,361
Uh, this is Mrs. Mertz, and
I'm Mrs...
321
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:19,362
Mrs. Ricardo.
322
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:20,730
Mrs. Ricardo.
323
00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,231
How do you do?
324
00:11:22,231 --> 00:11:23,232
How do you do?
325
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,067
I suppose you're here
for the Emerson checkup?
326
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,820
Well, is that the
free analysis?
327
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,238
Yes, it's free.
328
00:11:29,238 --> 00:11:30,239
LUCY: Yes,
that's the one.
329
00:11:30,239 --> 00:11:31,624
We grade you in four points,
330
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,909
and, uh, 100
Uh-huh. is perfect.
331
00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:35,878
And now if you'll
step this way.
332
00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:37,380
All right.
333
00:11:37,380 --> 00:11:38,381
Lucy...
334
00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:44,053
It's a lovely
piece of furniture.
335
00:11:44,053 --> 00:11:45,721
Yes, isn't it.
336
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,090
Now, the first
point is the hair.
337
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:49,842
Will you please
take off your hats?
338
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:57,349
Oh, dear, it must be
awfully windy outside.
339
00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,102
Here's a mirror.
340
00:12:00,102 --> 00:12:01,854
Why don't you fix it the
way it's supposed to be?
341
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,665
Is that the way
it's supposed to be?
342
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,833
Yes, ma'am.
343
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,251
Oh.
344
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,089
Now for skin and makeup.
345
00:12:22,591 --> 00:12:26,095
Hmm... your skin's not bad.
346
00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:27,546
Not bad at all.
347
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,048
Thank you.
348
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,050
You're very well-preserved.
349
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,221
And your makeup
is adequate.
350
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,287
Do you always use
that color powder?
351
00:12:51,287 --> 00:12:53,572
Oh, I don't mean it the
way it sounds, of course.
352
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:56,959
It's just that, here, we strive for
a fresh, natural look,
353
00:12:56,959 --> 00:13:00,212
and that powder gives you a
weird, very unnatural look.
354
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,081
You know what
I mean, of course.
355
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:03,916
I'm not wearing powder.
356
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,254
Oh...
357
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:12,224
Well, now for our posture.
358
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,225
(undertone):
Posture.
359
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,566
Just stand the way
you normally stand.
360
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,234
Oh.
361
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,740
Now the next item is the voice.
362
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:31,160
Would you please speak,
uh, Mrs. Mertz?
363
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,162
Uh...
364
00:13:33,162 --> 00:13:35,414
(clears throat)
365
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:37,249
(chuckles)
366
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:38,751
What shall I say?
367
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,252
Oh, anything at all.
368
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:43,255
Just give me your
name and address.
369
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:47,259
I am Mrs. Ethel Mertz...
370
00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:52,047
and, uh, I live at
623 East 68th Street.
371
00:13:53,849 --> 00:13:55,634
Uh, Mrs. Ricardo?
372
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,520
I am...
373
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:58,521
(clears throat)
374
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,022
I am...
375
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:05,945
Testing one, two,
three, four, testing.
376
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,897
Well, now we'll
total these up
377
00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:09,899
and see what
our scores are.
378
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,537
Out of a possible
100 points,
379
00:14:14,537 --> 00:14:17,406
you got 32,
and you got 30.
380
00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:21,877
You know, I feel sure
our course could make
381
00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,746
hundred percenters
out of both of you.
382
00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:25,130
Yes.
Really?
383
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,499
It's unbelievable
what we can accomplish.
384
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,303
Now, when would
you like to start?
385
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:32,805
Oh, right away.
386
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,807
With scores like ours,
there's not a moment to lose.
387
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:36,308
You said it.
388
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,143
Well, then,
come with me.
389
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:43,933
(knock at door)
390
00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,517
All right, ladies,
are you ready?
391
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:46,518
ETHEL:
Yes, ma'am.
392
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:50,856
Ah.
393
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:52,324
Now, the first thing
394
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,827
we're going to take up is
the matter of relaxing.
395
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,329
Tension is our
greatest enemy today.
396
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:00,583
A charming woman is a
relaxed woman.
397
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,368
Now, a little beauty secret
398
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:05,871
is to take a few minutes
every day and just relax.
399
00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:08,257
Relax completely.
400
00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:11,210
Let yourself go
absolutely limp.
401
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,512
Now, try it.
402
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:14,797
A little more. Much more.
403
00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:17,299
More, more, more, more...
404
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:22,521
No, Mrs. Ricardo, not
that limp.
405
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:23,806
No.
406
00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:25,140
Like this.
407
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,642
This is just a
little trick
408
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,143
for those days
409
00:15:28,143 --> 00:15:30,646
when you have to be on
your feet all day.
410
00:15:30,646 --> 00:15:31,447
Now you try.
411
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:34,149
That's right.
412
00:15:34,149 --> 00:15:35,985
Now we'll work on
our walk.
413
00:15:35,985 --> 00:15:37,486
Let me see you walk.
414
00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:40,990
Up.
415
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:42,992
Up, up, up, Mrs. Ricardo.
416
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,493
In an upright position.
417
00:15:44,493 --> 00:15:45,494
Oh.
418
00:15:45,494 --> 00:15:47,496
You go over there,
Mrs. Mertz.
419
00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:48,497
Okay.
420
00:15:48,497 --> 00:15:51,000
And now, I'll show
you how to walk.
421
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,002
You know, one
doesn't lump along
422
00:15:53,002 --> 00:15:54,503
like a sack of meal.
423
00:15:54,503 --> 00:15:56,005
Watch me.
424
00:15:56,005 --> 00:15:58,007
One glides.
425
00:15:58,007 --> 00:16:01,510
Let the hips carry the body.
426
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:04,013
The hips go first,
427
00:16:04,013 --> 00:16:07,516
and the body follows after.
428
00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:10,519
Now you try,
Mrs. Ricardo.
429
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,446
The hips go first, huh?
430
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:21,947
That's correct.
431
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,453
After you, hips.
432
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,915
(knock at door)
433
00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:57,916
Come in.
434
00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:58,917
Hi, Rick.
435
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,420
Oh, hi, Fred.
436
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:02,921
What's new, old man?
437
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,923
I don't know, oh,
but something is.
438
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:06,925
Ethel told me to stay
out of the bedroom
439
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:08,427
and wait for
her over here.
440
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:11,397
Uh-oh. They must be cooking
something together.
441
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,398
Yeah.
442
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:13,899
Lucy won't let us in
our bedroom either.
443
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:16,902
She says to wait out here for
a pleasant surprise.
444
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,404
Uh-oh.
445
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,739
Now, what do you think this
pleasant surprise could be?
446
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,075
Maybe they're leaving us.
447
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,579
No, no.
448
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,916
Well, Ethel's been
acting strange all week.
449
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,751
So has Lucy.
450
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,253
How can you tell?
451
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,592
That's a very good question.
452
00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:42,511
LUCY:
Yoo-hoo! Ricky!
453
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,012
Yes!
454
00:17:44,012 --> 00:17:46,515
Close your eyes.
455
00:17:46,515 --> 00:17:48,517
All right.
456
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,453
You may open your eyes now.
457
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,651
May I have a light, please?
458
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,612
Thanks awfully, darling.
459
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,178
Who is that?
460
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,130
It looks like Lucy.
461
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:17,022
Lucy?
462
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:21,476
Yes, darling?
463
00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:30,202
It is Lucy.
464
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:32,538
Well, what
do you know?
465
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,542
(doorbell buzzes)
466
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:40,045
Oh, that must be my
dear friend Ethel.
467
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,046
Please, Fred.
468
00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:43,415
I'll open the door.
469
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:44,917
Open it?
470
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,418
I was going to lock it.
471
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:56,228
Oh, my dear fellow, you
have such a refreshing wit.
472
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:22,204
I hope I
didn't hold up the party.
473
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,423
Not at all, darling. Do come in.
474
00:20:44,026 --> 00:20:46,778
Who's that?
475
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,196
Who's that?
476
00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:49,948
What's that?
477
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,704
Oh, Ethel, darling, you
do look stunning.
478
00:20:55,704 --> 00:20:58,156
You look divine, darling.
479
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,459
Oh, Ethel, what is all this?
480
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,744
Lucy, 'splain.
481
00:21:02,744 --> 00:21:03,745
"'Splain," darling?
482
00:21:04,246 --> 00:21:05,747
Well, you ignored us,
483
00:21:05,747 --> 00:21:08,250
so we knew you weren't happy with
us the way we were.
484
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:11,637
So, we took an extensive course at
Miss Emerson's Charm School.
485
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:14,589
Oh, so that's it, huh?
486
00:21:14,589 --> 00:21:16,091
Yes, that's it, darling.
487
00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:17,092
Would you care to take
488
00:21:17,592 --> 00:21:19,811
two charming strangers out
to dinner?
489
00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:20,896
Out to dinner?
490
00:21:20,896 --> 00:21:21,680
Uh, yes.
491
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,682
That's a great idea, Fred.
492
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,685
We can't waste all
this charm here at home.
493
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:27,686
Oh, thank you, darling.
494
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,187
That's very, very
sweet of you.
495
00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:30,689
Uh, tell me dear,
would you care
496
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,691
to go to see Mrs. Trumbull and
show her our gowns?
497
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:34,192
Well, just a minute.
We-we-we can't,
498
00:21:34,693 --> 00:21:37,195
we can't take out
two such gorgeous ladies
499
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:38,697
dressed like this.
500
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,699
Oh. Oh, oh, of
course, darling.
501
00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,200
Uh, well, that's very
sweet of you.
502
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,702
You go and change.
503
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,704
Come, dear,
we'll show Mrs. Trumbull.
504
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:49,207
Yes. Let's let her
get a load of us.
505
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:12,364
Did you ever see
anything like that?
506
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:15,984
I was waiting for Ethel
to say "trick or treat."
507
00:22:19,121 --> 00:22:20,989
Then you open
your big mouth
508
00:22:20,989 --> 00:22:22,491
and say something about
taking them to dinner.
509
00:22:22,491 --> 00:22:25,494
Wait a minute, Fred.
Don't get upset.
510
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:27,496
I've got a plan.
511
00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:33,468
She really did seem to
be impressed, didn't she?
512
00:22:33,468 --> 00:22:34,720
Oh, they're not here.
Oh.
513
00:22:37,506 --> 00:22:39,508
Well, we might as well
sit down and wait.
514
00:22:39,508 --> 00:22:40,509
Okay.
515
00:22:44,396 --> 00:22:46,398
I can't sit down.
516
00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:47,899
Neither can I.
517
00:22:47,899 --> 00:22:49,401
Well, we'll stand and wait.
518
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:50,402
Yeah.
519
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:55,907
Ricky, darling, do hurry, dear.
520
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:57,409
We're very hungry.
521
00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:58,910
Just a minute!
522
00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:00,328
Isn't that cute?
523
00:23:00,328 --> 00:23:02,330
He wants to look so good.
524
00:23:02,330 --> 00:23:04,750
Fred never took
so long to dress.
525
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,251
He must be taking a bath.
526
00:23:09,004 --> 00:23:11,289
Close your eyes!
527
00:23:22,017 --> 00:23:23,518
Open your eyes.
528
00:23:24,936 --> 00:23:25,937
(gasps)
529
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:29,274
Ricky Ricardo,
what are you doing?
530
00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:30,892
I'm taking you out to dinner.
531
00:23:30,892 --> 00:23:32,944
Dressed like that?
532
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:34,780
Well, what's wrong with this?
533
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,281
This is the latest thing
534
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,283
at the Little Gentlemen's
Finishing School.
535
00:23:38,784 --> 00:23:39,785
Oh, Ricky...
536
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:41,286
(doorbell buzzes)
537
00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:43,288
That must be my
good friend Frederick.
538
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:50,295
Enter.
539
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,800
Thank you, old chap.
540
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,802
Oh, good evening, ladies.
541
00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:01,807
I trust I haven't kept
you waiting, no?
542
00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:03,809
Fred Mertz.
543
00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:05,811
All right, fellas,
this isn't funny.
544
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:08,313
We thought you'd like us
looking like this.
545
00:24:08,313 --> 00:24:09,815
We've been working like dogs
546
00:24:09,815 --> 00:24:11,817
going to charm school
and exercising
547
00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:13,018
and wearing mud packs...
548
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:15,353
And plucking our eyebrows
and wearing chin straps.
549
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:18,824
All right, all right, we know what
you had to go through,
550
00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:20,325
but this is not for you.
551
00:24:20,325 --> 00:24:21,827
This is not your style.
552
00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:23,161
This is phony.
553
00:24:23,161 --> 00:24:25,080
I thought you'd
pay attention to me
554
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,866
if I was well-groomed and
charming and attractive.
555
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:31,253
I don't want you well-groomed,
charming and attractive.
556
00:24:31,253 --> 00:24:33,004
I want you the way you were.
557
00:24:33,004 --> 00:24:34,172
What?
558
00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:36,591
Oh, honey, I didn't mean it the
way it sounded.
559
00:24:36,591 --> 00:24:38,927
I mean, I like you the
way you were.
560
00:24:38,927 --> 00:24:42,848
Yeah, Ethel, I even like
you the way you were.
561
00:24:42,848 --> 00:24:44,132
Really?
562
00:24:44,132 --> 00:24:44,933
Yes.
563
00:24:45,433 --> 00:24:45,934
Now come on, girls.
564
00:24:46,434 --> 00:24:48,436
Let's go back the
way we were, huh?
565
00:24:48,436 --> 00:24:51,439
You promise to stick
close to us at parties?
566
00:24:51,439 --> 00:24:52,941
Like glue.
567
00:24:52,941 --> 00:24:55,443
Well... okay.
568
00:24:55,443 --> 00:24:57,445
Back the way
we were?
569
00:24:57,946 --> 00:24:59,447
All right.
Okay.
570
00:24:59,447 --> 00:25:00,448
Back the way
we were.
571
00:25:00,448 --> 00:25:03,318
Four natural,
lovable slobs.
572
00:25:03,318 --> 00:25:07,239
(laughing)
573
00:25:25,307 --> 00:25:26,958
(I Love Lucy theme music
plays)
574
00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:30,962
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
575
00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:25,984
I Love Lucy
is a Desilu production.
576
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,986
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
577
00:26:27,986 --> 00:26:30,372
will be back next week
at this same time.
578
00:26:32,774 --> 00:26:35,443
This is
the CBS television network.
43282
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