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1
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:14,464
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:32,699
More coffee, Fred?
No, thanks.
3
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:33,700
Ethel?
Uh-uh.
4
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,701
How about you, dear?
5
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:35,702
No, no.
I got enough.
6
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,704
Have another piece of cake, Fred.
7
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:38,705
Nope.
8
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,206
Ricky?
Uh-uh.
9
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,208
Oh, gee, this is the first time
10
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,710
I've had to relax all day.
11
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,712
What'll we do tonight?
12
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,997
Oh, I don't know.
What's on television?
13
00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:49,299
Fight night!
14
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,301
Oh, no, you don't.
Just sit down.
15
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,670
(groans) Sit down.
16
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,638
I've looked at so many fights on
television,
17
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,474
I've got cauliflower eyes.
18
00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,927
Come on, now, we're four grown
people.
19
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,429
Let's entertain ourselves.
20
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,930
Okay. Okay.
21
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,432
Um...
22
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,076
Oh, come now.
23
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,577
Surely we can think of something
24
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,079
to entertain ourselves.
25
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,584
(trilling)
26
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,503
Oh, stop that.
27
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,504
(laughing)
28
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,339
How about playing some cards?
29
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,290
No, we can't.
30
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,292
Little Ricky ate the queen of spades.
31
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,293
Oh...
32
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,294
Besides, I'd like to think
33
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,296
of something a little more
intellectual.
34
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:39,099
I know, we'll take a quiz.
35
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,383
A quiz?
36
00:01:40,383 --> 00:01:42,385
Yeah, it's all about husbands and
wives.
37
00:01:42,385 --> 00:01:43,686
Oh, no.
38
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,555
You know what those are, Fred.
39
00:01:45,555 --> 00:01:49,859
(falsetto): "How to rate your
marriage, or is your spouse a louse?"
40
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,446
Don't laugh at him, Ethel.
41
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,781
Now, here it is.
44
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,119
Now, I'll keep score.
45
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,120
Now, just a minute.
46
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,121
Let us in on it.
47
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,622
What is it called?
48
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:07,460
"How to rate your marriage, or is
your spouse a louse?"
49
00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:11,881
You read it, you louse!
50
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,883
No, I'm sorry, but I didn't read it.
51
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:14,751
Go ahead.
52
00:02:14,751 --> 00:02:17,720
Oh, let's see now, I'll keep score,
53
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,222
and at the end, we'll add them all up
54
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,225
and see if each of us is married to
our perfect mate.
55
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,727
For this, I need a quiz?
56
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,016
All right, now, first question.
57
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,519
Uh, Do you tell your troubles
58
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,020
to your married partner?
59
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:35,021
Ethel?
60
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,406
Yes.
61
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,357
Yes.
62
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:38,741
Fred?
63
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:42,195
Well, I try to spare her all I can.
64
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:44,197
Oh, for heaven's sake.
65
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,699
Put down "yes" for the king of the
bellyachers.
66
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:53,173
And "yes" for Ricky, and "yes" for
Lucy.
67
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,675
Now, wait a minute.
Don't put down "yes" for me.
68
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,178
You have no idea of all the problems
I have.
69
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,513
I don't tell you my troubles.
70
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,881
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
71
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:05,885
I thought all those troubles you
brought home were yours.
72
00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,220
"No" for Ricky.
73
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,138
Now, next question.
74
00:03:09,138 --> 00:03:11,140
"Do you tell your husband or wife
75
00:03:11,140 --> 00:03:13,142
how much you pay for your clothes?"
76
00:03:13,142 --> 00:03:14,644
Ethel?
77
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,115
Well?
78
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,619
It's been so long since I bought any,
I forgot.
79
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,903
Put down "yes."
80
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,288
Fred?
81
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,789
Yeah.
82
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,790
Ricky?
83
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,125
Of course.
84
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,076
Now, next question.
85
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,578
Have you told your husband...?
86
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,080
Wait a minute.
87
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,081
What's the matter?
88
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,584
The quiz mistress neglected
89
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,469
to ask herself the last question.
90
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,837
Oh, I did?
91
00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:42,305
Yeah.
92
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:43,806
The question was:
93
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:44,807
Do you tell your husband
94
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,809
how much you pay for your clothes?
95
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,311
That's right. Now, the next
question...
96
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,312
Uh-uh-uh.
97
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,314
All right, one "no" for Lucy.
98
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,148
Uh-huh.
99
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,100
Now, the next question.
100
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,103
Have you told your husband or wife
101
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,605
all about your past romances?
102
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:01,107
Well, if I told Fred... Ricky?
103
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,109
Me? It's Ethel's turn first.
104
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,611
Yeah, well, I thought
105
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,112
I'd break the monotony by asking you
first.
106
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,414
Besides, I can't wait to hear your
answers.
107
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:12,835
Have you told me all about your past
romances?
108
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,338
Well, now, let me see.
109
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,839
Uh...
110
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,847
Well?
111
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,349
Wait a minute.
112
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,356
Eh, yeah, I told you everything, yep.
113
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:36,693
"Yes" for Ricky.
114
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,695
Well, if I told Fred...
Now, for me.
115
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,531
Let's see. Have I told you about my
old romances?
116
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,983
I told you about going with the
captain
117
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:44,984
of the football team, didn't I?
118
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:47,487
Yes, a hundred times.
119
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,989
Then there was that lifeguard who was
so crazy about me.
120
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,492
Yes, you bared your soul to me about
him, too.
121
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,494
Yes, well, besides those, there were
just a few
122
00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,996
big flaming romances that I've had.
123
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:02,502
Let's see. Billy, Maury, Jess and
Jerry,
124
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:06,506
Bob and Bennett and George and
Phil...
125
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:11,511
Martin and Danny, Argyle and Bud
126
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:15,515
and Wilbur and Noble and Carl
127
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,518
Frank and Henry-- that was in high
school--
128
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,521
Uh, then in junior college, there was
Johnny and Kenny...
129
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,323
Okay, okay, okay.
130
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,692
Well, I was only trying to be honest
and make sure
131
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,193
I had told you about everybody, dear.
132
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,695
I sensed that.
133
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:31,197
Well, now I can put down "yes" with a
very clear conscience.
134
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:32,699
(clears throat)
135
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,200
Now, uh, Ethel?
136
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,203
Well, if I told Fred all about...
137
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:41,457
Hey, uh, have I ever told you about
Carlota Romero?
138
00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:43,009
Who?
139
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,344
Carlota Romero.
140
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,129
No. Who's she?
141
00:05:46,129 --> 00:05:47,547
Oh, I didn't tell you about her, huh?
142
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,048
No. Oh.
143
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,384
Just a girl I used to go with in
Cuba.
144
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,852
Oh.
145
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:56,439
Now, I told you I can keep my "yes"
answer
146
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,191
and be honest about it.
147
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,559
Yeah.
148
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,561
Ethel?
149
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:02,562
Well...
150
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:05,064
Why haven't you told me about her
before?
151
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:06,566
Oh, I don't know.
152
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,067
No particular reason.
153
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,402
It just slipped my mind.
154
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,871
Oh.
155
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,873
Was it a big romance?
156
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:18,878
Well, you know...
just... one of those thins.
157
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,799
Just one of those "thins".
158
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,835
Well, come on, Ethel.
159
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,837
What are you waiting for?
160
00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:29,839
I've forgotten the question.
161
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:33,226
The question is: Have you told your
husband or...?
162
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,179
Just one of those what "thins"?
163
00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:38,097
Come on, now, Lucy, it's my turn.
164
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:40,566
There's just no point in going on
with this quiz.
165
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,068
It's very obvious that one of us
166
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,569
has so many secrets from his mate,
167
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,571
he couldn't possibly be happily
married.
168
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,073
I am, too.
169
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,075
Well, I'm not.
170
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,577
Oh, honey, you're getting upset over
nothing.
171
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,578
If it was nothing,
172
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,580
why didn't you tell me about it
before?
173
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,583
Well, because there is no Carlota
Romero.
174
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,452
I just made it up.
175
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:00,920
Ha!
176
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,921
Would you join me in your apartment,
Ethel?
177
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,923
Oh, honey, you're being silly.
178
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:04,924
I'm not speaking to you.
179
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,427
Oh, now, Lucy, he's trying to get
even
180
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,929
because you mentioned all those boys'
names.
181
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:13,433
FRED: Wow! She's really burned.
182
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:14,934
I think you'd have been better off
183
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,436
telling her about that dame.
184
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,938
I did, I told her the truth.
185
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:19,939
I told her I made it up.
186
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,941
There's no Carlota Romero.
187
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:22,942
Well, Lucy doesn't believe you,
188
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,944
so what are you going to do about
her?
189
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:25,945
Oh, gee, I don't know.
190
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,447
I didn't expect her to get that mad.
191
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,981
I was just teasing her.
192
00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:30,983
You know, we've been married for 12
years,
193
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,819
and I still can't figure her out.
194
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:36,072
I bet sometimes you wish you had made
her up.
195
00:07:36,072 --> 00:07:37,907
Well, she'll get over it.
196
00:07:37,907 --> 00:07:39,909
Yeah, Ethel will look after her.
197
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:41,911
Come on, let's, let's look at the
fights.
198
00:07:41,911 --> 00:07:43,880
Okay. Maybe it's time for the main
event.
199
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:46,883
Here we go, honey.
200
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:47,884
Eat a great big breakfast.
201
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,385
Aw, come on.
202
00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:50,386
Eat a great big breakfast.
203
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,890
Aw, come on, honey, come on.
204
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,391
Come on.
205
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,893
What's the matter, boy?
206
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:57,894
Hi.
207
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,315
(bawling)
208
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,316
Hello, son.
What's the matter?
209
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,317
What are you crying about?
210
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,319
Don't answer him, Ricky.
211
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:10,323
I don't want you associating with a
man of his reputation.
212
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,324
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
213
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,658
Now, listen, honey.
214
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,077
In fact, Neither of us are going to
talk to him
215
00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,079
until he explains his lurid past.
216
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,503
Hi, Rick.
217
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:24,504
Oh, hi, Fred.
218
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,006
Boy, you're the sly one.
219
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,508
What are you talking about?
220
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,009
You know what I'm talking about.
221
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,010
I just saw the morning paper.
222
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,962
Look, I got enough troubles
223
00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:34,714
without playing games.
What's up?
224
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:39,101
You remember that, uh, gal you made
up, uh, Carlota Romero?
225
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,102
Yeah.
226
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,604
Well, you did a pretty good job.
227
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,105
She's appearing in town this week.
228
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,106
What?!
229
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,558
"What?"
230
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,694
Right here in the paper.
Look at that.
231
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:52,698
RICKY: "Carlota Romero, Cuban singing
star
232
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:55,034
"opened her first American engagement
233
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:55,868
at the Opal Room."
234
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,119
Oh, no!
235
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,404
Not bad.
236
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,906
(whistles)
237
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,407
I'll say this for you,
238
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:04,210
when you make them up, you don't do
badly.
239
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,633
You know, I must have seen her name
in Variety or Billboard,
240
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,634
and it got stuck in my mind.
241
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,636
Yeah, well, when Lucy sees that
picture,
242
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,639
she'll knock it loose.
243
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,140
Ay-ay-ay. Now, look.
244
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,143
Fred, ta-ta-ta-take this paper home
with you, huh?
245
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:22,144
I've already got a copy.
246
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,146
I know, you got a copy, but take it
home with you.
247
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,648
I don't want Lucy won't see it.
248
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,149
I'm still trying to convince her that
I made it up.
249
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,151
Oh, well, all right.
250
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,770
Ee...
251
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,439
Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
252
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,075
Huh?
253
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,360
That's an old saying.
254
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:39,862
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave
255
00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:42,582
when first we practice to deceive."
256
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,750
What does that mean?
257
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,203
Well, it means that, uh...
258
00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:49,205
Well, I'll have it translated in
Spanish
259
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:50,506
and bring it back to you.
260
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:00,383
Hi, Lucy.
261
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:02,385
Hi, girl.
262
00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:06,389
Well, you're in a better mood than I
expected you to be.
263
00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,891
Oh, you mean about what happened last
night?
264
00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:10,393
Well...
265
00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:11,894
I'll give Ricky a bad time for a
while,
266
00:10:11,894 --> 00:10:13,396
but I believed him when he said
267
00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:15,898
he made up that Carlota Romero
business.
268
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:18,901
Well, how did he explain this
morning's paper?
269
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:19,735
Why, what about it?
270
00:10:19,735 --> 00:10:21,454
Uh-oh.
271
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,072
What about it?
272
00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:24,373
Um, nothing, nothing.
273
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,875
Come on, Ethel, what's in the paper
274
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,376
you don't want me to see?
275
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,878
Uh, uh, well, uh,
276
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,880
I didn't want to be the one to tell
you,
277
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,131
but, uh...
But what?
278
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,801
Uh, Daddy Warbucks has left Little
Orphan Annie again.
279
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,137
Oh, Ethel, let me see that paper.
280
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,640
It's on the back page.
281
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:46,512
"Carlota Romero, Cuban singing star,
282
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:51,017
"opens her first American engagement
283
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,319
at the Opal Room."
284
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,154
Oh, now...
285
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,490
Now, Lucy, pull yourself together.
286
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,492
It says in the paper, she's never
been in America,
287
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,827
so Ricky couldn't have seen her for
15 years.
288
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,746
Well, she's here now.
289
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:08,617
I'll bet they're planning to stir up
those old embers again.
290
00:11:08,617 --> 00:11:13,372
Be kind of hard to stir embers into a
flame after 15 years.
291
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:18,044
She doesn't look like her pilot light
would ever go out.
292
00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,848
Oh, let me see that.
293
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,686
Oh, forget it.
294
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,688
You got nothing to worry about.
295
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,690
She couldn't take Ricky away from
you.
296
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,192
Why, you're twice as pretty as she
is.
297
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,528
You really think so?
298
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,481
Certainly, and you got twice as good
a figure.
299
00:11:38,481 --> 00:11:39,982
I have?
300
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:41,484
Mmm-hmmm.
301
00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:45,488
Oh, I wish I could stand and carry
myself the way you do.
302
00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:47,490
It's absolutely regal.
303
00:11:52,995 --> 00:11:54,997
Frankly, I can't understand
304
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:58,000
why you were never chosen Miss
America.
305
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,003
Oh, thank you, Ethel.
306
00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:05,508
Well, I... I guess I don't have
anything to worry about.
307
00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:13,399
(groans)
308
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,624
(soft, sweet background music plays)
309
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,460
(gentle background music ends)
310
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:20,583
(dramatic music building slowly)
311
00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:26,088
(music crescendos and ends abruptly)
312
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:30,593
(soft, sweet melody plays)
313
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,444
(sweet melody continuing)
314
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,203
(doorbell buzzes)
315
00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:01,006
(sweet melody ends)
316
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,345
(dramatic music plays)
317
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,848
(music stops abruptly)
318
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,968
(dramatic music resumes)
319
00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:17,723
(music building)
320
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,945
(music crescendos then stops
abruptly)
321
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:35,241
(dramatic music resumes and building)
322
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,251
(music crescendos, then stops)
323
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:48,754
(whimsical music begins)
324
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:51,891
(music ends)
325
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,844
(dramatic music resumes)
326
00:14:57,846 --> 00:14:58,847
(music stops)
327
00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:00,849
(whimsical music starts)
328
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:06,989
(music stops)
329
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,909
(dramatic music plays)
330
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:10,910
(music stops)
331
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:16,782
(whimsical music resumes)
332
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,617
(music ends)
333
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:22,588
(slow dramatic music plays)
334
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:33,182
(dramatic music segues to somber
melody)
335
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:52,451
(somber music continuing)
336
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,130
(music crescendos)
337
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,633
(music ends abruptly)
338
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:14,139
(somber music resumes)
339
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,019
(somber music fades)
340
00:16:27,436 --> 00:16:29,188
(whimsical melody plays and stops
abruptly)
341
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,409
(somber music resumes)
342
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,789
(dramatic harp music building)
343
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,460
(music ends)
344
00:16:55,964 --> 00:16:57,966
(lilting melody playing)
345
00:17:19,154 --> 00:17:20,572
(lilting melody fades)
346
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:24,493
(somber music begins)
347
00:17:24,993 --> 00:17:26,378
(coins jingling)
348
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:41,844
(harp plays)
349
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,178
(music ends)
350
00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,680
(lilting melody plays)
351
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,623
(lilting music stops)
352
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:16,128
(dramatic music plays)
353
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:16,962
(coin clinks)
354
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,381
(somber music plays)
355
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,277
(spits)
356
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,782
(harp plays)
357
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,787
(music building)
358
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,293
(dramatic music ends)
359
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,963
(musical fanfare plays)
360
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:51,964
(fanfare stops)
361
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,469
(yelling)
362
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:58,470
What's the matter?
363
00:18:58,971 --> 00:18:59,471
What's the matter?
364
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:00,472
What's the matter?
365
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,473
What happened?
366
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:02,474
What's the matter?
367
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:03,475
What's the matter?
368
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,476
What's the matter?
369
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:05,761
What's the matter?
370
00:19:05,761 --> 00:19:07,646
Lucy, what's the matter?
371
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,983
That's... that's for running off with
that castanet-clacker,
372
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,317
you big Cuban heel!
373
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,236
Are you crazy or something?!
374
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,237
Lucy!
375
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,738
Lucy!
376
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:17,739
Lucy!
377
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,241
Lucy, what's the matter with you?
378
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:19,992
What's the matter?
379
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,661
I dreamed you left me for Carlota
Romero.
380
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,580
Oh, for goodness' sakes.
381
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,832
That's the craziest thing I ever
heard in my whole life.
382
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,000
I'm not so sure.
383
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,419
She's right here in town, as if you
didn't know.
384
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,921
Now, listen to me, I made that name
up.
385
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:36,008
Or at least I-I-I-I thought I made
the name up.
386
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,511
I must have read it someplace or
something without noticing
387
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,014
because this morning when, when Fred
came over and...
388
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,800
and here was this girl's picture in
the paper and then,
389
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:46,885
and here I-I didn't even know this
girl
390
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:49,221
and-and here I made the same name up.
391
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,723
Isn't that a funny coincidence, huh?
392
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:52,524
(weak chuckle)
393
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,310
No?
394
00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,029
Who are you trying to kid?
395
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,030
Look, if...
396
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,365
You big two-timing button-giver!
397
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,652
Button-giver?
398
00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:05,037
What does that mean?
399
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,789
Never mind. You going to tell me the
truth or aren't you?
400
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,491
Now, look, honey, if you don't
believe me,
401
00:20:09,491 --> 00:20:10,993
why don't you call her up and ask
her?
402
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,829
I'll just do that.
403
00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:14,830
Okay.
404
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:16,331
Okay!
405
00:20:16,331 --> 00:20:17,833
O-kay.
406
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:19,334
Huh, gee.
407
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:23,555
And don't do that no more!
408
00:20:31,179 --> 00:20:31,680
Hi.
409
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,181
Oh, hi, dear.
410
00:20:33,181 --> 00:20:34,683
What's going on?
411
00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:36,184
Company tonight.
412
00:20:36,184 --> 00:20:37,185
Oh? Who?
413
00:20:37,185 --> 00:20:39,605
Ethel and Fred and Jerry and Carlota.
414
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,273
Who?
415
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,692
Carlota. Carlota Romero.
416
00:20:44,192 --> 00:20:45,193
You remember her.
417
00:20:45,193 --> 00:20:46,695
Why did you ask her over for?
418
00:20:47,195 --> 00:20:48,697
Because I wanted to see you two
together.
419
00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:51,166
Jerry called her up and set the whole
thing up for me.
420
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,668
Fine agent I got.
421
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:54,670
Mira, que tiene de mal la mujer aqui
en la casaa
422
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,088
que ni la conozco.
423
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,589
And if you're going to mumble,
424
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,592
please have the decency to mumble in
English.
425
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,377
(doorbell buzzes)
426
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,179
Here she is.
427
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:06,181
Hi.
428
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,684
Oh, it's only the Mertzes.
429
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,185
Well, thanks.
430
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,187
You know, that's getting to be our
first name:
431
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,690
"Mr. And Mrs.
Only-The-Mertzes."
432
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,692
I'm sorry, dear, won't you come in
and sit down?
433
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,193
Hi, Rick.
Hi, Ethel.
434
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,194
Oh, food.
435
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,195
Hiya, Fred.
436
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,697
Hi.
437
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,198
Now, Fred, leave those alone!
438
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,700
They're for company.
439
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:25,701
Well, what am I?
440
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,202
Don't answer that.
441
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,204
(doorbell buzzes)
442
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:32,991
Hi.
443
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:34,493
Oh, it's only Jerry.
444
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:35,794
Well!
445
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,413
Everybody's got the same first name
these days.
446
00:21:38,413 --> 00:21:40,332
Thanks, Lucy.
Hi, Ethel, Fred.
447
00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:41,333
Hi, Jerry.
Jerry, how are you?
448
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:42,334
Hi, Jerry.
449
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:43,335
Where's Carlota?
450
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,836
Oh, she told me on the telephone,
451
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:46,838
she had to go on an interview and
she'd meet me up here.
452
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:48,140
Good, the sooner, the better.
453
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,925
Oh, yeah, and Ricky, she said can
hardly
454
00:21:49,925 --> 00:21:51,343
wait to see you again.
455
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:52,844
That's nice.
456
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:53,845
What?
457
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,147
Aha!
458
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,099
Now, Lucy, it isn't true.
459
00:21:57,099 --> 00:21:58,100
Never mind!
460
00:21:59,601 --> 00:22:01,603
Now, Jerry, what are you talking
about?
461
00:22:02,104 --> 00:22:04,606
I never saw this girl before in my
whole life.
462
00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:05,941
Well, sure you did.
463
00:22:05,941 --> 00:22:08,410
She told me on the phone she worked
with you
464
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,913
in a nightclub in Havana, oh, about
15 or 16 years ago.
465
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:13,415
She was part of a singing act.
466
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,701
They called themselves the Five
Romero Sisters.
467
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:20,589
Oh, for goodness' sakes.
468
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:21,840
Which one of them?
469
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,625
Well, now, how should I know?
470
00:22:23,625 --> 00:22:25,627
Anyway, she was very surprised to
hear
471
00:22:25,627 --> 00:22:27,629
that you remembered her, see?
472
00:22:27,629 --> 00:22:29,631
And, oh, she said be sure and don't
to expect her
473
00:22:30,132 --> 00:22:32,134
to look exactly like she did in the
picture in the paper
474
00:22:32,134 --> 00:22:34,436
because that was taken, oh, about 17
years ago.
475
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:35,854
(doorbell buzzes)
476
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:36,855
There she is now.
477
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:44,613
Ricky, I'm Carlota!
478
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,615
Hey, wait a minute, I'm not Ricky.
479
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:49,618
Ricky!
480
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:50,619
Nope.
481
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,121
Ricky!
482
00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:54,623
Yes, hello, Carlota.
483
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:56,124
How are you?
484
00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:57,125
Glad to see you.
485
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,127
This is Mr. and Mrs. Mertz.
486
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:00,629
Oh, hello, Carlota.
487
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,631
This is my agent, Jerry.
488
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:03,382
How you doing?
489
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,250
Well, it's nice to see you.
490
00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:07,552
What have you been doing since I last
saw you?
491
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:09,921
Putting on weight mostly.
492
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,423
(laughing)
493
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:12,808
Well, you look fine.
494
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,060
Was that Carlota?
495
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,228
Yes.
496
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,396
Where is she?
497
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,231
Oh, Lucy, I'd like you to meet
someone.
498
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:20,232
LUCY: Oh.
499
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,067
This is Carlota Romero.
500
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:23,185
Oh, how do you...?
501
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,022
Carlota Romer...
502
00:23:27,022 --> 00:23:30,992
Well, am I glad to see you!
503
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,944
Hello, Lucy.
504
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:34,946
Oh, my, you will never know.
505
00:23:34,946 --> 00:23:37,449
I am so glad to see you.
506
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:39,951
Come over here and sit down.
507
00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:41,787
This is quite a welcome.
508
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:45,207
I'm surprised that Ricky would even
remember me.
509
00:23:45,207 --> 00:23:47,008
Well, my dear, he will never forget
you.
510
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:48,376
That's nice.
511
00:23:48,376 --> 00:23:50,345
I guess I look a little different
512
00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:51,847
than you expected, don't I?
513
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,799
Well, uh, yes, yes.
514
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:56,301
I didn't expect anyone so pretty and
charming
515
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,303
and so full of...
516
00:23:58,303 --> 00:24:00,806
well, so full of...
517
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,307
Uh...
518
00:24:02,307 --> 00:24:03,809
Well, so full.
519
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,694
Tell, me, Carlota,
520
00:24:06,194 --> 00:24:07,112
how long are you going to be in town?
521
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:08,113
We must...
522
00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:14,636
(clock chiming softly)
523
00:24:17,139 --> 00:24:18,140
(screaming)
524
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:20,142
(all laughing)
525
00:24:20,142 --> 00:24:21,143
Oh, look!
526
00:24:21,143 --> 00:24:23,011
Ethel!
Fred!
527
00:24:23,512 --> 00:24:24,896
Fred!
528
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:26,648
Merry Christmas!
529
00:24:26,648 --> 00:24:27,933
(all laughing)
530
00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:29,818
Merry, Christmas, Fred.
531
00:24:29,818 --> 00:24:32,320
We're all Santa Clauses.
532
00:24:32,821 --> 00:24:34,322
Yeah.
How about that?
533
00:24:34,322 --> 00:24:36,608
Let's put our presents under the
tree.
534
00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:38,360
Okay, okay, here we go.
535
00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:39,861
Oh, that's nice.
536
00:24:39,861 --> 00:24:40,862
Whew!
537
00:24:40,862 --> 00:24:41,863
(giggling)
538
00:24:41,863 --> 00:24:42,864
(chortling)
539
00:24:42,864 --> 00:24:44,366
Hey, Santa,
540
00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:46,868
you put on a little weight, didn't
you?
541
00:24:46,868 --> 00:24:47,869
How about you?
542
00:24:47,869 --> 00:24:48,870
Yeah.
543
00:24:48,870 --> 00:24:51,122
How about you, Ethel?
544
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:54,509
Fred, where did you ever find such a
big pillow?
545
00:24:54,509 --> 00:24:56,511
Huh, what, why don't you answer me?
546
00:24:56,511 --> 00:24:58,013
I'm not wearing a pillow.
547
00:24:58,013 --> 00:24:58,880
(others laughing)
548
00:24:59,381 --> 00:25:01,132
Come on, let's open all our presents.
All right.
549
00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:01,967
Okay.
550
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,468
No, no, let's sing first.
551
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:04,302
OTHERS: Sing?
552
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:07,772
Well, yeah, everything is so
wonderful
553
00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:09,774
and spending Christmas with our good
friends
554
00:25:10,275 --> 00:25:12,777
and I just feel like serenading the
world.
555
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:14,779
Okay. I know a wonderful Cuban
melody.
556
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:15,780
It's called "Cascabeles".
557
00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:16,781
Well, let's hear it.
Sing it.
558
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:18,283
All right.
559
00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:21,653
Cascabeles cascabeles, cantan todo el
dia
560
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:26,157
Cascabeles, cascabeles, trajen
allegria...
561
00:25:26,157 --> 00:25:27,959
Hey, that's "Jingle Bells"!
562
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:29,294
"Jingle Bells"?
563
00:25:29,794 --> 00:25:30,295
Sure.
564
00:25:30,795 --> 00:25:31,796
Well, how about that?
565
00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:33,298
You Americans steal all our good
songs.
566
00:25:33,798 --> 00:25:36,668
Ha, ha! Hey, let's all sing it, huh,
Santa Clauses?
567
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:37,886
All right.
All right.
568
00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:42,173
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle
all the way
569
00:25:42,173 --> 00:25:45,977
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a
one-horse open sleigh
570
00:25:45,977 --> 00:25:49,848
Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way
571
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:53,652
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a
one-horse open sleigh
572
00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:55,520
Dashing through the snow
573
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,522
In a one-horse open sleigh
574
00:25:57,522 --> 00:25:59,024
O'er the fields we go
575
00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,026
Laughing all the way
576
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,861
Bells on bobtail ring
577
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:04,863
Making spirits bright
578
00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:08,366
What fun it is to ride and sing a
sleighing song tonight
579
00:26:08,366 --> 00:26:11,870
Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way
580
00:26:11,870 --> 00:26:15,674
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a
one-horse open sleigh
581
00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:19,210
Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way
582
00:26:19,711 --> 00:26:23,348
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a
one-horse open sleigh, hey!
583
00:26:23,348 --> 00:26:25,350
(chortling)
584
00:26:38,613 --> 00:26:39,614
(gasps and groans)
585
00:26:47,489 --> 00:26:50,992
(harp plays)
586
00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,001
(music)
587
00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:02,504
ALL: Merry Christmas, everybody.
588
00:27:05,557 --> 00:27:07,525
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
589
00:27:07,525 --> 00:27:11,529
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
590
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,017
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
591
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,019
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
592
00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:10,488
will be back next week at this same
time.
593
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,027
ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS
Television Network.
39138
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