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1
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,631
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,868
(beating out a conga rhythm)
3
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,882
(conga rhythm continuing)
4
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:14,324
All right, hold it, hold it, hold it,
5
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,325
hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
6
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:16,993
Listen, I don't know, I think
7
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,412
that something in there doesn't sound
right.
8
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,281
Will you play it alone, Alberto?
9
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:32,625
Okay.
10
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,127
Sounds all right now.
11
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I guess it's me.
12
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,763
(phone rings)
13
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,265
We'll take it over in a couple of
minutes.
14
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,770
Hello.
15
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,721
Hi, dear.
16
00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:45,722
Oh, hello, honey.
17
00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:46,723
How are you, dear?
18
00:01:46,723 --> 00:01:47,974
Do you still have your headache?
19
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,309
Yeah, I still have it.
20
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:50,810
Oh...
21
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,145
I wish I knew what was causing it.
22
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,063
Oh, haven't you got any idea?
23
00:01:54,063 --> 00:01:56,449
Could it be something down there at
the club?
24
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,451
No.
25
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,738
No. Everything is real peaceful down
here.
26
00:02:01,738 --> 00:02:03,072
Oh, you know what I think?
27
00:02:03,072 --> 00:02:03,957
I think it's your eyes.
28
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:04,958
Aah...
29
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,459
Don't "aah" me now, Ricky.
30
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,462
You promise me you'll go and have
your eyes examined.
31
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,964
Oh, honey, I got a lot of work to do.
32
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,799
Now, Ricky, you promise me.
33
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,217
All right, all right.
34
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,219
All right, dear, bye-bye.
35
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:17,720
Good-bye.
36
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:20,723
Ricky!
37
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:22,725
Bill Parker!
38
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,727
Hiya. Good to see you.
39
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,728
How are you, boy?
40
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,230
Glad to see you.
41
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,232
I read in Variety that you were in
town.
44
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:33,736
I'm going back to the theater.
45
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:34,604
Well, good.
46
00:02:34,604 --> 00:02:36,573
Say, uh...
47
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,074
are you going to let me try for the
lead?
48
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,492
Well, I would, Ricky,
49
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,327
but you're not exactly the type for
an English professor.
50
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,745
Oh, you mean my accent?
51
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:43,746
Yeah.
52
00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,248
Oh, that's a phony.
53
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,033
Sure...
54
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:50,003
you know, people think that I really
talk this way,
55
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,372
but I dun't.
56
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:53,840
You "dun't," huh?
57
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,841
No...
58
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,342
Well, I'll keep you in mind.
Okay.
59
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,344
Say, uh, I have a little problem.
60
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,347
The theater that I've been using for
my auditions
61
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,349
has been taken over by a TV show.
62
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,852
You suppose I could use your club for
just a couple of days?
63
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,855
Why, sure, Bill, anything you want at
all.
64
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,356
Hey, how about having dinner with us
tonight?
65
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,858
Wonderful!
Like to meet your wife.
66
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,860
That's right, you haven't met Lucy,
have you?
67
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:14,360
Not yet.
68
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,478
Okay, I'll call her.
69
00:03:15,478 --> 00:03:16,980
You know, it'll be a pleasure
70
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,481
to spend an evening with some folks
71
00:03:18,982 --> 00:03:20,984
who aren't trying to audition for my
show.
72
00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:21,985
Uh-oh.
73
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:24,320
What's the matter?
74
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,788
Uh, look, uh...
75
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:28,291
if you want to spend a real pleasant
evening,
76
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,792
I'd better introduce you
77
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,795
as Bill Parker, an old friend of
mine,
78
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,297
and not mention anything
79
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,299
about your connections with show
business.
80
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,051
Has your wife got aspirations?
81
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,336
No, no, she's feeling all right.
82
00:03:40,336 --> 00:03:41,838
It's, uh...
83
00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:45,308
just that sh-she wants to get in show
business.
84
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,309
I see.
85
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,310
Well, I'll call her and tell her
86
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,811
that you're just an old friend of
mine.
87
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,813
Now, we won't say what kind of
business you're in.
88
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,315
Okay, Ricky.
89
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,321
Lucy, have you seen Fred?
90
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,822
No, honey, I haven't.
91
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:00,823
Listen, I want to ask you something.
92
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:01,824
Uh, Lucy, have you seen Ethel?
93
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,326
Oh, there you are.
94
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,827
Oh, there you are.
95
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:06,329
Where have you been?
96
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:07,330
I've been looking for you.
97
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,331
Where have you been?
98
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:09,332
I've been looking for you.
99
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,333
Where have you been?
100
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,334
I've been looking...
101
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,335
Oh, now, wait a minute.
102
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,336
You found each other.
103
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,337
Now go on from there.
104
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:15,672
What do you want?
105
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,091
I want you to tell you to be sure and
sandpaper
106
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,592
that new bannister you put in
107
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,095
before some idiot runs his hand down
and picks up a splinter.
108
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,096
What did you want?
109
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:24,597
I was wondering if you'd help me
110
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,849
get this splinter out of my hand.
111
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,637
Oh, fine.
Come on.
112
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,138
Hey, Ethel, wait a minute,
113
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:34,140
I want to know if I can borrow your
big roaster.
114
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,391
Sure. You having company?
115
00:04:35,391 --> 00:04:36,693
Well, Ricky said
116
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,028
he was bringing home an old pal, a
Bill... Parker.
117
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,947
I wonder if that could be William
Parker?
118
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,283
You mean the William Parker?
119
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,118
Well, he said his name was Bill.
120
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,452
Who's William Parker?
121
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,371
"Who's William Parker?" "Who's
William Parker?"
122
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,372
Where's your Variety?
123
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:49,872
Yeah, where's the Va...
124
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,374
Right there.
125
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,375
Oh, there was something about him
126
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,876
right there today, wasn't there?
127
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,878
Yes...
Yes, there it is, there it is.
128
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:56,879
(chuckles)
129
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,881
"Who's William Parker?"
130
00:04:58,881 --> 00:04:59,882
Read this.
131
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,668
This?
Yeah.
132
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:06,055
"Parker preps prod for Pitt prem."
133
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,892
"Parker preps prod for Pitt prem...
prem."
134
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:10,677
Well?
135
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,812
Who's William Parker?
136
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,148
Well, the headline is a little
confusing,
137
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,149
but read the article.
138
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,652
"William Parker"-- that much I
understand--
139
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:26,159
"William Parker, formerly legit prod,
currently top pic exec
140
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,662
seeks thesps for flesh tuner."
141
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,164
Oh...
142
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,032
Ethel, come here.
143
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,423
(loudly): Who's William Parker?
144
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,924
Oh.
145
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,876
Oh, that's Variety talk.
146
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,878
They have their own way of saying
things, see?
147
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:47,380
That's for sure.
148
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:50,383
"Parker preps prod for Pitt prem."
149
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:51,384
Mm-hmm.
150
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,386
That means "Parker prepares
production
151
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,388
for Pittsburgh premiere."
152
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,389
No kidding?
Uh-huh.
153
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,890
And the rest of it means
154
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,392
that he's a big shot from pictures
155
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,893
who is auditioning for a musical
156
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:02,228
that he's going to produce.
157
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,147
And he's coming here to dinner!
158
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:08,534
Well, gather round, friends, we have
plans to make.
159
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,039
I'm ready.
What time is it, dear?
160
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,540
It's a quarter to.
161
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,541
Well, they ought to be here any
minute.
162
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,043
Now, remember, we're gonna make it
163
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,911
seem real casual and natural.
164
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,747
Are you sure you can get rid of
Ricky?
165
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,665
You just leave that to me, girl.
166
00:06:22,665 --> 00:06:24,884
RICKY: Here we are, Bill.
167
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,386
Well, hi, everybody.
168
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,887
Hi, dear.
Bill, I want you to meet my wife,
Lucy.
169
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:28,888
How do you do, Mr. Parker?
170
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:29,889
How do you do?
Bill Parker.
171
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,391
Very nice to know you.
172
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,892
And this is Mr.
and Mrs. Mertz.
Bill Parker.
173
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,394
Hello, Mr. Parker.
How do you do?
174
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,396
Fred and Ethel will stay for dinner,
dear.
175
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,897
Oh, that's good.
Fine.
176
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:38,898
Sit down, Bill.
Make yourself at home.
177
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:39,899
Here, give it to me.
178
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:40,900
Sit right here, Mr. Parker.
179
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,402
Thank you.
180
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,153
Uh, what did the eye doctor say,
dear?
181
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,822
Oh, I forgot.
182
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,273
Oh, now, you didn't.
183
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:48,574
Will you promise me you'll go
tomorrow?
184
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,859
Okay, dear, I will.
185
00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:51,244
He's been having splitting headaches.
Oh?
186
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,246
Listen, dear, would you do me a
great, big favor
187
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,747
and run down to the corner drugstore
188
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:55,615
and get me some ice cream?
189
00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,116
Oh, we don't have to have ice cream.
190
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:59,118
Oh, please, now, dear, I didn't have
time
191
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,620
to make any dessert, Mr. Parker.
192
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,121
Please, dear?
193
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,623
All right. Will you excuse me?
194
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,924
He'll be right back.
195
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,342
Listen, dear, get me a quart of
vanilla
196
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,344
and have them pack it in that special
packing...
197
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,345
Vanilla?
Yes, honey.
198
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,346
In that special packing.
199
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,848
(piano note plays)
200
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,351
There's no business like show
business
201
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,604
Like no business I know
202
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,858
Everything about it is appealing
203
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:25,144
Everything the traffic will allow
204
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,947
Nowhere can you get that happy
feeling
205
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:31,617
When you are stealing that extra bow.
206
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,620
There's no people like show people
207
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,374
They smile when they are low
208
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:41,327
Even with a turkey that you know will
fold
209
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,580
You may get stranded out in the cold
210
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:47,884
But you wouldn't change it for a
stack of gold
211
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,887
Let's go on with the show.
212
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:54,307
There's no business like show
business
213
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,643
Like no business I know
214
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,930
ETHEL: Everything about it is
appealing
215
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:04,433
Everything the traffic will allow
216
00:08:04,433 --> 00:08:06,936
Nowhere can you get that happy
feeling
217
00:08:06,936 --> 00:08:10,940
ALL: When you are stealing that extra
bow.
218
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:13,659
There's no people like show people
219
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,027
Like no...
220
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:16,529
Oh...
221
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,752
How did you get back so quickly,
dear?
222
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,755
Mrs. Benson gave me some ice cream
from her freezer.
223
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,756
LUCY: Oh.
224
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,040
I'm sorry, Bill.
225
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:28,925
That's all right, Ricky.
226
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,927
How did you find out who I was?
227
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:34,180
Oh, we know who's who in show
business, Mr. Parker.
228
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:38,017
We know all about you prepping for
your Pitt prem.
229
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,520
Looks like Variety double-crossed me.
230
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,522
Are you mad, sir?
No.
231
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,524
Oh, well, that's good because we
haven't finished yet.
232
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,526
You sit down now, Ricky, and you can
see the...
233
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,894
you can see the last of our act.
234
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:50,229
I've seen the last of your act.
235
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,697
Oh, now, honey.
236
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,032
That isn't fair!
237
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,901
Well, I suppose that you call it fair
238
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,403
to send me out on a wild-duck chase
239
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,405
for some ice cream that you don't
need
240
00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:00,907
just so you can audition behind my
back.
241
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:02,291
Is that what you call fair?
242
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,743
Goose.
243
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:04,961
What?
244
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,662
Wild-goose chase.
245
00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:08,965
I don't care what kind of a chase you
call it.
246
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,466
Well...
You know what I'm talking about.
247
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,468
Look, kids, I got an idea.
248
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,470
I'll make a deal with you.
249
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,972
If it's all right with Ricky,
250
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,341
let me forget business for tonight,
huh? And tomorrow,
251
00:09:18,341 --> 00:09:21,811
tomorrow you can all come down and
audition for me. How's that?
252
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,312
Oh, Ricky, did you hear what he said,
huh?
253
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,814
Huh, Ricky, huh?
254
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,315
Okay. I guess it's Bill's business
255
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,817
if he wants to waste his time on you.
256
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,151
Oh, that's great! Oh...
257
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,354
Mr. Parker, what kind of a show are
you doing?
258
00:09:31,354 --> 00:09:32,655
Well, it's a college musical.
259
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,440
It's called The Professor and the
Co-ed.
260
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,360
Say, you folks, you would be
wonderful for the alumni scene.
261
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,194
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Parker.
262
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:39,161
Oh, well, what can I do?
263
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:40,663
Can you dance?
264
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,664
Can I dance!
265
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,665
Can you jitterbug?
266
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,166
Can I jitterbug!
267
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,167
Can you put dinner on the table?
268
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,168
Can I put dinner on...
269
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,670
Oh, yeah.
270
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,179
Lucy.
Yeah?
271
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,681
Have you still got that hat you wore
272
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,933
when you did the Charleston down at
the club?
273
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,218
Yeah. You want it?
274
00:10:02,218 --> 00:10:04,470
Yeah. We're doing the varsity drag
275
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,306
for our number-- you know, wear those
1920 clothes.
276
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:09,308
Fred's digging stuff out of his
costume trunk.
277
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:10,776
Oh, that sounds wonderful.
278
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,279
Gee, I hope my jitterbug number comes
off all right.
279
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,281
Do you know how to jitterbug?
280
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,283
Well, I will as soon as my teacher
gets here.
281
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,236
You can't learn jitterbugging from a
teacher.
282
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:23,539
It's something you pick up in school,
like measles.
283
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,242
Well, all I know is, Ricky's agent
said
284
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:27,710
he was sending somebody down here
285
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,712
that could teach me how to jitterbug.
286
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,213
That's all I know.
287
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,715
I think that thing is in here.
288
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,050
Yeah, here it is.
Yeah...
289
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,551
(chuckles)
290
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,426
Ain't I the cat's pajamas?
291
00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,394
Oh, you're the snake's hips.
292
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,146
Let me see how I look in it.
293
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,147
Be my guest.
294
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,984
That's a real razzmatazz, isn't it?
295
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,153
Oh, I feel just like a flapper again.
296
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,489
Well, call me a taxi!
297
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,490
(guffawing)
298
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,491
(door buzzer sounds)
299
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,492
Oh, that must be my teacher.
300
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:00,993
Will you open the door for him?
301
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:01,994
Yeah.
302
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,752
I'm looking for Mrs. Ricardo.
303
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,170
Oh, I'm Mrs. Ricardo.
304
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,175
Crazy, baby!
305
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,343
Pardon?
306
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,128
I'm Arthur "King Cat" Walsh.
307
00:11:19,128 --> 00:11:20,546
Oh, how do you do?
308
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:21,380
This is my friend, Mrs. Mertz.
309
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,848
This is "King Cat" Walsh.
310
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:23,849
How do you do?
311
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,801
Man, what's the chick got on her
head?
312
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:28,521
Oh, that's a hat like flappers used
to wear.
313
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,306
Man, that's cool!
314
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:31,724
Well, thanks.
315
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,059
I think.
316
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,977
Do you think you could teach me
317
00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:35,978
how to jitterbug?
318
00:11:35,978 --> 00:11:37,980
Hang on, baby, here we go!
319
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:41,984
Oh!
320
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:43,202
Whoa!
321
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,870
Man, this is crazy!
322
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,710
De de dum
323
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,711
Nyep dum dum dum
324
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,547
De de nyet de de dien dien.
325
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:58,417
Dig this crazy dancing bear!
326
00:11:58,417 --> 00:11:59,635
What?
327
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,587
Fred, this is "King Cat" Walsh,
328
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:02,588
my dancing instructor,
329
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,423
This is Fred Mertz, King Cat.
330
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:06,842
How are ya?
331
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,181
Man, that's the coolest!
332
00:12:12,681 --> 00:12:13,766
Coolest?
333
00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:15,151
Man, it's the hottest!
334
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:20,106
You got some strange cats around
here!
335
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,907
Yeah.
FRED: Come on, Ethel.
336
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,577
Let's us cats creep on out of here.
337
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,446
You don't think you're gonna wear
338
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:28,948
that big, heavy, old coat
339
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,950
doing the varsity drag, do you?
340
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,169
That coat's a gasser!
341
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,588
Uh, yeah, well...
342
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,089
I have a record here.
343
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,090
I hope it's all right.
344
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,092
Uh, let's see now.
345
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,129
("Stomping At The Savoy" playing)
346
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,380
Is that all right?
347
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,681
Frantic, man, frantic!
348
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,183
Let's drag it, baby!
349
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,193
Just follow me.
350
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:02,198
(snapping fingers)
351
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,489
Whoa!
352
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,710
(band playing "Stomping At The
Savoy")
353
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:12,918
Hey!
354
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:20,876
Hey!
355
00:14:22,378 --> 00:14:23,379
Hey!
356
00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:43,232
RICKY: Hey!
357
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,913
Oh, you were just wonderful!
358
00:14:57,913 --> 00:15:00,416
My golly, Lucy!
359
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:01,417
Pretty good, pretty good.
360
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:02,918
"Pretty good"?
361
00:15:02,918 --> 00:15:04,920
Say, Dad, this cat's real nervous!
362
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,339
Oh, man, you're the craziest!
363
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:08,674
And you're a gasser!
364
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:10,142
LUCY: You're the mostest!
365
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:13,646
Hmm! And people say I'm hard to
understand.
366
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,649
Mr. Parker, can we be in your show?
Can we, can we?
367
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:17,650
And what about us?
368
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:18,984
Yeah, can you use our act?
369
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,653
Give us the message, man!
Yeah.
370
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:21,520
Well, I don't know.
371
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,022
Ricky, is there any way I can arrange
372
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,274
to see them work in front of an
audience?
373
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:26,075
Nope.
374
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:27,076
Oh, Ricky, why can't we
375
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,077
work right here tonight?
376
00:15:28,077 --> 00:15:29,328
No, sir.
377
00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,614
First up, Daddy-O, give us the real
reason!
378
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:33,032
Yeah. Come on.
Come on, Rick, what's the harm?
379
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:34,333
Come on.
Come on.
380
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,334
You heard what the man said.
381
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,835
He said we could dance up a storm.
382
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,337
He thinks we're real wiggy, man.
383
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,455
Yeah.
384
00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:40,456
Now, look, wait a minute.
385
00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:41,957
First place, I'm not running
386
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:43,959
an amateur night in here.
387
00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:44,960
And in the second place,
388
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:46,345
you're starting to give me a headache
again.
389
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:47,846
ETHEL: Oh, Rick, come on, now.
390
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:48,847
Ricky, just...
391
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:49,848
Didn't you go to see the eye doctor?
392
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:51,100
No.
393
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:51,884
Oh, Ricky, now you're gonna go
394
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,385
right this minute. Come on.
395
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,270
Now wait a minute.
What about our act?
396
00:15:55,270 --> 00:15:56,772
Do we get to go on tonight?
397
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:57,272
Yeah, Ricky, what about...
398
00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:58,273
Let's put them on tonight.
399
00:15:58,774 --> 00:15:59,725
I'd like to get audience reaction.
400
00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:00,726
All right, Bill, if that's what you
want.
401
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:01,727
We'll put them on.
402
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,696
Oh, that's fine!
403
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,697
Yes, great.
404
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,698
Oh, thank you.
405
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:08,200
Now open wide.
406
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,204
Wider.
407
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,707
Wider.
408
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,543
Oh, Grandma, what big eyes you have.
409
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,328
Oh, Lucy, you're making me nervous.
410
00:16:19,328 --> 00:16:20,329
Now sit down.
411
00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:21,830
Oh, all right.
412
00:16:22,831 --> 00:16:23,832
Now look up.
413
00:16:24,833 --> 00:16:26,335
Now look down.
414
00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:29,338
Uh-huh.
415
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,342
Now follow my finger, please.
416
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,237
All right, watch it carefully.
417
00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:00,502
Uh-huh.
418
00:17:00,502 --> 00:17:02,004
Well, how is it, Doc?
419
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,006
Oh, I haven't completed my
examination yet.
420
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,008
Oh.
Would you please turn and face the
wall?
421
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:07,509
Yes, sir.
422
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,511
Now, do you see that chart?
423
00:17:10,012 --> 00:17:13,015
(laughing)
424
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:14,299
What's so funny?
425
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:15,184
Oh, I'm sorry.
426
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:16,685
I was just thinking
427
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:17,686
about a television show I saw the
other night,
428
00:17:17,686 --> 00:17:19,188
and the eye doctor said to the
patient,
429
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:20,689
"Do you see that chart?"
430
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:21,690
And the patient said, "What chart?"
431
00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:23,692
And... and the doctor said, "The
chart on the wall."
432
00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,978
And the patient said, "What wall?"
433
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:29,398
(laughing loudly)
434
00:17:29,398 --> 00:17:30,899
How are his eyes, Doctor?
435
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:35,704
Could you read the first line,
please?
436
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,072
RICKY: "E."
437
00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:38,791
That's right.
438
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:39,625
Oh.
439
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:42,544
Next line, please.
440
00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:44,046
"F, P."
441
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:46,048
Could you read the fourth line,
please?
442
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:47,800
"L, P, E, D."
443
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,134
Oh, Ricky.
444
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,136
You see, it is your eyes, darling.
445
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,504
That's a "B," not an "E."
446
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,008
Looks like an "E" to me.
447
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,010
Read the next line, please.
448
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,345
"P, E, C, F, D."
449
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,598
"P, E, C, F, D"!
450
00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:05,017
Oh, my poor baby.
451
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:05,934
What's the matter?
452
00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:07,436
That isn't "P, E, C, F, D".
453
00:18:07,436 --> 00:18:09,438
That's "F, E, O, P, B".
454
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:14,409
That's "P, E, C, F, D"!
455
00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:16,411
Ah, well, this is just the
stubbornest man
456
00:18:16,411 --> 00:18:17,412
in the world, Doctor.
457
00:18:17,913 --> 00:18:19,414
Go ahead, tell him how bad his eyes
really are.
458
00:18:19,414 --> 00:18:21,917
Mr. Ricardo, your eyes are perfectly
normal.
459
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,418
You see, darling, you wouldn't
believe me...
460
00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:25,287
What?!
461
00:18:25,287 --> 00:18:28,290
I said your husband's vision was
perfectly normal.
462
00:18:28,290 --> 00:18:29,291
Well, how can you say that?
463
00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:30,292
What about that line?
464
00:18:30,292 --> 00:18:32,294
He said it was "P, E, C, F, D."
465
00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:35,297
Anybody can see that it's "P, E, C,
F..."
466
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:37,299
Eww.
467
00:18:39,301 --> 00:18:40,686
"...D."
468
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,638
That'll be all for you, Mr. Ricardo.
469
00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:43,639
Thank you, sir.
470
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,023
Come here, Mrs. Ricardo.
471
00:18:47,476 --> 00:18:48,227
Me?
472
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,112
Come here.
473
00:18:50,112 --> 00:18:52,114
No.
474
00:18:52,614 --> 00:18:53,565
Come on.
475
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,534
No, I don't wanna.
476
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:56,535
Come on, Lucy.
477
00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:58,036
Do what the doctor says.
478
00:18:58,537 --> 00:18:59,371
Come here.
479
00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,624
What's the matter, can't you see the
chair?
480
00:19:02,624 --> 00:19:05,577
Yes, I can see the chair.
481
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,831
What are you going to do?
482
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:11,633
I just want to have a look at your
eyes.
483
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:17,639
You don't have to worry about your
eyes, Mr. Ricardo.
484
00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:19,141
Just stop working so hard
485
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,642
and those headaches will disappear.
486
00:19:20,642 --> 00:19:21,643
Oh, thank you, Doctor.
487
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:23,145
Listen, honey, I got to go down to
the club,
488
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:24,146
so I'll see you later.
489
00:19:24,146 --> 00:19:25,147
All right, bye.
Good-bye.
490
00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:26,148
Good-bye, Doctor.
Good-bye.
491
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:27,149
What did you put in my eyes?
492
00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:29,651
Oh, just some drops to relax them.
493
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,020
They'll take effect in about 20
minute...
494
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:33,772
Oh, my goodness.
495
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,440
What's the matter?
496
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,325
What?
497
00:19:36,825 --> 00:19:37,826
I've never known those drops
498
00:19:37,826 --> 00:19:39,328
to work so quickly before.
499
00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,613
You must be very sensitive to them.
500
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:42,998
Really?
Oh, yes.
501
00:19:43,498 --> 00:19:46,001
Your vision will be quite blurred for
several hours.
502
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:47,002
Oh, no, no!
503
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,837
It can't be!
I have to dance tonight.
504
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,839
You got to take the drops out.
505
00:19:55,677 --> 00:19:56,678
Get them out!
506
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,631
You can't squeeze them out, Mrs.
Ricardo.
507
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,133
But you have nothing to worry about.
508
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,635
Here, here, look at me. Look at me.
509
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:06,555
Now, your vision won't be any more
blurred
510
00:20:06,555 --> 00:20:07,890
than I look right now.
511
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:13,111
Oh, no!
512
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,871
Hi, Lucy, what did the doctor say?
513
00:20:22,871 --> 00:20:24,873
Oh, Ethel, gee.
514
00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:26,124
Guess what happened
515
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,793
You'll never know what...
516
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,077
Hey, what's the matter with you?
517
00:20:29,077 --> 00:20:31,079
What? Ethel, what happened?
Where are you?
518
00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:32,581
I'm over here, Miss Magoo.
519
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:33,582
Oh. Oh, Ethel,
520
00:20:33,582 --> 00:20:34,583
guess what happened.
521
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:35,584
What's the matter?
522
00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:37,002
Ricky's eyes were all right,
523
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,503
but the doctor said he wanted to
examine mine
524
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,005
and the first thing I knew, he put
drops in them.
525
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:41,506
You mean he dilated them?
526
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,009
Yeah, and I-I'm just... hoping
527
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:45,510
that I'll be able to dance tonight.
528
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,512
Oh, you'd better cancel it.
529
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:50,515
Oh, but Ethel, I can't, I can't!
530
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:52,434
There's nothing else to do.
531
00:20:52,434 --> 00:20:55,437
But-but-but I've worked so hard on my
number.
532
00:20:55,938 --> 00:20:57,439
I've just got to do it.
533
00:20:57,439 --> 00:20:59,441
No, you'd better cancel it.
534
00:20:59,441 --> 00:21:02,444
Ethel, I can't, I just can't.
535
00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:03,946
Listen...
536
00:21:03,946 --> 00:21:05,864
Oh, Ethel.
537
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,200
I don't know how you're gonna dance
if you can't see.
538
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,168
Listen, listen, I'm going in to
change my clothes,
539
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:11,536
and you take me down there in a taxi.
540
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,431
Here, here, here.
541
00:21:22,431 --> 00:21:23,432
This way.
542
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:30,939
(trumpets play a fanfare)
543
00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:31,940
(applause)
544
00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:32,941
Thank you.
545
00:21:33,442 --> 00:21:35,444
(applause continues)
546
00:21:35,444 --> 00:21:37,696
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
547
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:38,697
Thank you and good evening.
548
00:21:39,197 --> 00:21:40,198
Welcome to the Tropicana.
549
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:43,201
We have a wonderful surprise for you
tonight.
550
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:46,705
A very good friend of mine is
preparing a Broadway show,
551
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,206
and he's here tonight.
552
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:50,709
First of all, I'd like you to meet
him-- Mr. Bill Parker.
553
00:21:50,709 --> 00:21:51,543
Bill, take a bow there.
554
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:55,714
(applause)
555
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:57,049
Thank you, Bill.
556
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,551
Well, Bill asked me to let a couple
of acts
557
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:02,804
that he's going to, uh, perhaps use
in the show,
558
00:22:02,804 --> 00:22:06,308
he wants them to try out here
tonight.
559
00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:08,310
So, first of all, we're going to
bring to you
560
00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:10,812
two people that are going to be part
of the alumni,
561
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:12,314
and they're playing the part of the
alumni
562
00:22:12,314 --> 00:22:14,316
that comes back from the
homcomming...
563
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,568
homcoming...
564
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:19,071
Well, that's as close as I can get to
that one.
565
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,440
Anyway, here they are--
566
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,910
Fred and Ethel Mertz.
567
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,412
(band playing "The Varsity Drag")
568
00:22:33,201 --> 00:22:35,787
Here is the drag, see how it goes
569
00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:38,790
Down on your heels, up on your toes
570
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:43,095
That's the way they do the varsity
drag
571
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:44,796
Bo-de-oh-de-oh-do.
572
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:47,682
Hotter than hot, newer than new
573
00:22:47,682 --> 00:22:49,935
Meaner than mean, bluer than blue
574
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:54,606
Gets you more applause than waving
the flag
575
00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:55,774
Poop-poop-pee-doo
576
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:59,144
You can pass many a class
577
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:01,029
Whether you're dumb or wise
578
00:23:01,363 --> 00:23:02,280
Oh!
579
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,199
If you're called, answer the call
580
00:23:04,699 --> 00:23:06,451
When your professor cries
581
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:07,452
Everybody
582
00:23:07,869 --> 00:23:10,372
Down on your heels, up on your toes
583
00:23:10,372 --> 00:23:12,874
Stay after school, see how it goes
584
00:23:12,874 --> 00:23:15,877
Everybody do the varsity
585
00:23:15,877 --> 00:23:18,880
Everybody do the varsity
586
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,717
Everybody do the varsity drag
587
00:23:22,717 --> 00:23:24,636
Poop-poop-pee-doo!
588
00:23:24,636 --> 00:23:28,473
(applause)
589
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:29,925
How about that?
590
00:23:30,425 --> 00:23:32,928
(applause)
591
00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:34,429
Fred and Ethel Mertz!
592
00:23:34,429 --> 00:23:35,597
Very good.
593
00:23:37,099 --> 00:23:39,734
Well, that was very good, eh, Bill?
594
00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:43,188
And now for the next act
595
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,190
trying out for Mr. Parker's show,
596
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:49,194
we'd like to present to you Lucille
McGillicuddy...
597
00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:53,999
...and her partner, "King Cat" Walsh,
598
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:59,004
or, as they're better known, "The
Jitterbugs."
599
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,505
Here they go!
600
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:05,010
(band playing "Stomping at the
Savoy")
601
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:27,025
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
602
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:31,029
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
603
00:26:23,014 --> 00:26:25,517
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
604
00:26:26,017 --> 00:26:27,519
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
605
00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,988
will be back next week at this same
time.
606
00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:35,527
ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS
Television Network.
40584
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