All language subtitles for I Love Lucy S03E09.too_many_crooks.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,798 ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) 2 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:35,518 (sirens wailing) 3 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:47,030 (door buzzer sounding continuously) 4 00:00:56,906 --> 00:01:00,910 (door buzzer sounding continuously) 5 00:01:03,413 --> 00:01:05,915 (door buzzer still sounding) 6 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,223 (knocking on door) 7 00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:14,724 I'm coming. 8 00:01:17,227 --> 00:01:19,229 Did a man come in or anything like that? 9 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:21,231 Did you see anybody, did you see anybody on the fire escape? 10 00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:22,232 Where? Where? What do you mean? 11 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:23,733 What are you talking about? 12 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,568 There's been a robbery in the neighborhood. 13 00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:26,519 A robbery? 14 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,771 Well, get the police! 15 00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:29,072 Get the police! 16 00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:30,573 Oh, you're a police. 17 00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:32,575 That's all right, Mrs., uh... 18 00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:34,077 Mrs. Ricardo. 19 00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:36,079 Mrs. Ricardo, did you see anyone? 20 00:01:36,079 --> 00:01:38,081 No. I was asleep. 21 00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:39,332 Who else lives here? 22 00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:42,202 Well, my-my husband-- he's still working at the club, 23 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,504 but my little baby is asleep in the nursery. 24 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,289 I'll check the premises. 25 00:01:46,289 --> 00:01:48,291 Oh! Oh, a robbery right here, 26 00:01:48,291 --> 00:01:49,793 right here in the building? 27 00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,795 Oh, it just gives me goose pimples! 28 00:01:51,795 --> 00:01:54,297 Well, gee, at least you've got Fred to protect you. 29 00:01:54,297 --> 00:01:56,716 Protect me? 30 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,220 The minute he heard about it, he ran and hid. 31 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,721 I was not hiding. 32 00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:04,224 I was looking for something to hit him with! 33 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:06,109 Under the bed? 34 00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:07,560 Ooh, it was awful. 35 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,562 Lucy, I can't see wh-why you didn't wake up. 36 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:12,065 Officer, please don't wake up the baby. 37 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,566 Where was the robbery? 38 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:14,567 Well, let's see now... 39 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,870 (all talking excitedly at once) 40 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,488 Ethel, where was it? 41 00:02:18,488 --> 00:02:20,290 It was in the Ackermans' apartment across the street. 44 00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:24,711 No kidding? 45 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,713 Yeah, and then they saw him run across the street 46 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,047 and right into this building! 47 00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:28,998 Are you sure? 48 00:02:28,998 --> 00:02:29,999 Oh, yes. 49 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,001 We've checked everywhere. 50 00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:34,754 So I guess she's given us the slip again. 51 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,139 Oh, that's too... She? She? 52 00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:37,473 Isn't it a man? 53 00:02:37,473 --> 00:02:39,926 We think the person who's been pulling all these jobs 54 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,728 in the neighborhood lately is a woman. 55 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,062 Oh, gracious alive! 56 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,564 What makes you think it's a woman? 57 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,065 We suspected it at first, 58 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:49,068 but tonight the Ackermans' report clinched it. 59 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,353 How? How? How? 60 00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:51,688 Just before entering this building, 61 00:02:52,188 --> 00:02:53,189 they saw the robber stop 62 00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:54,440 and take a hitch at her girdle. 63 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,825 Oh! 64 00:02:55,825 --> 00:02:57,610 Have you any idea who she is? 65 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,530 No. The only thing we've got to go on are fingerprints, 66 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:04,033 but the boys on the force call her "Madame X." 67 00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:05,034 Madame X. Madame X. 68 00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:06,035 Oh, it gives me shivers. 69 00:03:06,035 --> 00:03:07,537 How do you like that? 70 00:03:07,537 --> 00:03:10,039 Well, uh, uh, thanks, folks, for your cooperation. 71 00:03:10,039 --> 00:03:11,040 Oh, well, thank you, officer. 72 00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,543 (excited chatter) 73 00:03:14,544 --> 00:03:16,546 Look at that. "Madame X strikes again. 74 00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:19,048 "The mysterious woman burglar added another 75 00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:21,551 to her long list of robberies last night." 76 00:03:22,051 --> 00:03:23,052 Oh, boy, that's exciting. 77 00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:24,554 It isn't every day we have a robbery 78 00:03:24,554 --> 00:03:25,555 and get our names in the paper. 79 00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:27,357 What do you mean "our names in the paper? 80 00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:30,226 Right here: "The police questioned all the tenants." 81 00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:31,728 That's us. 82 00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:34,147 I'll cut it out and put it in my scrapbook. 83 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,115 Well, it is exciting. 84 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,617 Have you seen the News? 85 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,118 Have you seen the... the Mirror? 86 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:40,620 Look at that. 87 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:44,123 Oh! Oh, the News is more sensational. 88 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,125 Yeah, but the Mirror gives it more space. 89 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,377 Isn't it scary? 90 00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:50,163 Fred Mertz, I want you to have new locks 91 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,664 put on every door in this building. 92 00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,666 A child could open the old ones. 93 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,168 I can't afford it. 94 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,669 I'll buy them. 95 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:57,670 With what? 96 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,172 Oh, I've managed to save a little 97 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:02,675 out of that miserable pittance you give me. 98 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,177 Okay, then, buy the locks. 99 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,678 All right. 100 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,181 I was going to buy you a birthday present 101 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,065 with that money. 102 00:04:09,065 --> 00:04:10,516 Oh, fine. 103 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,518 Oh, Fred, I didn't know you had a birthday coming up. 104 00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:13,820 When is it, Fred? 105 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,188 A week from Thursday. Ah. 106 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,190 How old are you gonna be? 107 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:21,194 Did you hear about the big robbery last night? 108 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,196 Come on, Fred, don't be bashful. 109 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,197 How old are you? 110 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,199 Well, now, I'll make a deal. 111 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,700 I'll tell how old I am 112 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,202 if you'll tell how old you are. 113 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,504 That was a big robbery we had last night. 114 00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,424 Come on, birthday boy. 115 00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:36,426 Let's go count how many locks we have to buy. 116 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,428 New door locks for Fred 117 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,930 New door locks for Fred 118 00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:42,432 New door locks for... 119 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:44,434 (chuckling) 120 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:46,936 Gee, I'm glad we found out about Fred's birthday. 121 00:04:46,936 --> 00:04:48,438 What will we get him? 122 00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,940 How about some keys to go with the locks? 123 00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:52,942 Seriously, we have to get him something nice. 124 00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:55,395 Hey, I know! 125 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,396 A tweet soot. 126 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,981 A "tweet soot"? 127 00:04:57,981 --> 00:05:00,483 Yeah. He's always wanted a soot from my tailor's-- 128 00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:01,484 a tweet one. 129 00:05:01,484 --> 00:05:02,902 Oh, a tweed suit! 130 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:04,787 Oh, he'd love that. 131 00:05:04,787 --> 00:05:06,289 Well, I tell you what. 132 00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:07,290 I'll make an appointment for him 133 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,291 to go to the tailor's today. 134 00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:09,792 Oh, no, that's no fun. 135 00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:11,794 Then it won't be a surprise. 136 00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:13,796 Well, honey, they have to know his measurements. 137 00:05:13,796 --> 00:05:15,298 They do? 138 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,799 They do unless you want to give him 139 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,301 a tweet nightshirt. 140 00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:20,586 Oh, dear. 141 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,005 Let's see... 142 00:05:22,005 --> 00:05:25,508 Oh, why don't you get one of his old suits from Ethel, 143 00:05:25,508 --> 00:05:28,011 and then the tailors can get the measurements off of that. 144 00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:31,014 No, she's such a blabbermouth, she'd tell him. 145 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:33,016 Well, I don't know how you're gonna get it, then. 146 00:05:33,016 --> 00:05:35,018 I know. I'll sneak in and get one of his old suits 147 00:05:35,018 --> 00:05:38,021 out of the closet without either one of them knowing it. 148 00:05:38,021 --> 00:05:39,522 Be sure they don't catch you. 149 00:05:40,023 --> 00:05:41,024 Well, I won't if you keep them busy. 150 00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:43,026 Call them up and get them over here on some pretext. 151 00:05:43,026 --> 00:05:46,579 Okay. I'll get them over on some pretext. 152 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,585 What's a pretext? 153 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,121 Well, it's when you want someone to do something, 154 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:56,622 but you don't want them to know 155 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,125 that you want them to do that particular something. 156 00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,626 So, you make up something else, 157 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,962 then they think they're doing something else, 158 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,381 but in reality, they're doing the something 159 00:06:05,381 --> 00:06:06,883 that you want them to do 160 00:06:06,883 --> 00:06:09,385 but don't want them to know that you want them to do. 161 00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:13,189 What?! 162 00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:15,558 Look, I'll show you what I mean. 163 00:06:15,558 --> 00:06:17,560 Oh, wait a minute. Forget the pretext. 164 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,062 They're out around the building counting locks. 165 00:06:19,062 --> 00:06:20,363 I'll go get it right now. 166 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:21,731 Okay. 167 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:32,041 (humming tune) 168 00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,043 (door buzzer sounds) 169 00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:37,046 (humming) 170 00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:38,548 Oh, hello, Mrs. Trumbull. 171 00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:41,050 Uh, Mrs. Mertz, here is the check for my rent. 172 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,552 Oh, thanks. 173 00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,554 My, we certainly had a lot of excitement 174 00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:46,556 around here last night, didn't we? 175 00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:48,057 I'll say we did. 176 00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:55,565 Are we alone? 177 00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:56,566 Well, yes. 178 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,068 Fred is out in the kitchen, but he can't hear us. 179 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:00,570 Why? 180 00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:03,573 Mrs. Mertz, I know something. 181 00:07:04,073 --> 00:07:05,074 About the robbery? 182 00:07:05,575 --> 00:07:06,576 Yes. 183 00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:08,077 And I've got to tell somebody. 184 00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:10,913 Oh, you can trust me, Mrs. Trumbull! 185 00:07:10,913 --> 00:07:12,865 Well, I... I may be wrong, 186 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,868 but I think there's a chance that Madame X 187 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,255 may be somebody who lives in our building. 188 00:07:19,255 --> 00:07:21,257 In this building?! 189 00:07:21,257 --> 00:07:23,259 Shh! 190 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:24,760 What makes you think so? 191 00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:27,763 Well, they say Madame X is a woman 192 00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:28,764 who wears men's clothes. 193 00:07:28,764 --> 00:07:29,765 Yes, yes. 194 00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:31,267 They saw her come in here 195 00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:32,768 and they didn't see her go out. 196 00:07:32,768 --> 00:07:35,188 Yes. Now, I know I'm wrong. 197 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,558 I know there's a logical explanation, but... 198 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,027 But what?! But what?! 199 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,396 Well, I-I know I'm wrong, but I... I... 200 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:47,900 I saw someone sneaking out of your apartment 201 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,702 with a man's suit. 202 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,821 Who? 203 00:07:51,821 --> 00:07:54,040 Lucy Ricardo. 204 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:56,876 Lucy? 205 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,794 Going out of this apartment? 206 00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:01,581 Sneaking along the hall. 207 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,550 Oh, my goodness! 208 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,335 Lucy! 209 00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:07,637 Oh, Mrs. Trum... 210 00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,639 Oh, what are we saying? 211 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,975 I know there's a logical explanation, but what is it? 212 00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:15,478 Oh, Mrs. Trumbull, I'm surprised at you. 213 00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,980 Suspecting Lucy of all people. 214 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,982 Well, I said I knew I was wrong. 215 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:21,984 Well, I should say so. 216 00:08:21,984 --> 00:08:23,986 Oh, I'm ashamed of the two of us 217 00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:25,988 just standing here talking like this. 218 00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:26,989 Well, so am I. 219 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,991 Just forget I ever mentioned it. 220 00:08:28,991 --> 00:08:30,993 Oh, consider it forgotten. 221 00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:31,994 Good-bye. 222 00:08:31,994 --> 00:08:33,496 Good-bye. 223 00:08:34,997 --> 00:08:37,667 Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! 224 00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:39,168 Fred, come here! 225 00:08:39,168 --> 00:08:40,169 Come here! What's the matter? 226 00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,671 Guess who Madame X is! 227 00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:42,505 Who? 228 00:08:42,505 --> 00:08:43,422 Lucy! 229 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:44,423 Lucy who? 230 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:45,925 Lucy Ricardo. 231 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,927 And what's more, she's pulling all those jobs 232 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:49,295 wearing your suit! 233 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,265 I've been waiting for this. 234 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,267 Your brain has gone bye-bye. 235 00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:57,220 Oh, is that so? 236 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,721 Now, Mrs. Trumbull said 237 00:08:58,721 --> 00:09:01,224 she saw Lucy sneaking out of this apartment 238 00:09:01,224 --> 00:09:02,725 carrying one of your suits! 239 00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:04,227 I don't believe it. 240 00:09:04,227 --> 00:09:05,728 Well, I'll just look and see. 241 00:09:08,231 --> 00:09:09,732 Aha! 242 00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:12,451 Your gray suit is gone. 243 00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,287 So she took one of my suits. 244 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,289 Ethel, there's a hundred reasons 245 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,623 why Lucy could take one of my suits. 246 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:18,791 Name a few. 247 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:23,129 Well, it could have been bec... 248 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,132 Well, she might have had a... 249 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,467 So Lucy is Madame X! 250 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:29,919 Uh-huh. 251 00:09:29,919 --> 00:09:31,921 Now, listen, we got to get ahold of ourselves. 252 00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:34,090 We're standing here, accusing Lucy of being a crook! 253 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,592 I know it, I know it. 254 00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:39,095 We've got to prove that Lucy is innocent 255 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:40,096 for her sake and ours. 256 00:09:40,596 --> 00:09:41,597 But how? 257 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:44,100 I know! 258 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,269 After Ricky goes to work tonight, 259 00:09:46,269 --> 00:09:47,770 we'll watch her and see what she does. 260 00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:50,773 We'll go up on the roof and come down the fire escape 261 00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:52,158 and watch her through the window. 262 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,442 What will that prove? 263 00:09:53,442 --> 00:09:55,444 Well, if she doesn't put on your suit 264 00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:56,946 and go out and come back later 265 00:09:56,946 --> 00:09:59,332 with a bag full of loot, then she isn't Madame X. 266 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,833 That won't prove anything. 267 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,669 Even a crook has a night off. 268 00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,504 Then we'll stay out there till we prove 269 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,006 that Lucy is innocent. 270 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,007 All right. 271 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,508 Besides... 272 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:12,011 if she is Madame X, 273 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,347 you and I better know about it. 274 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,247 Yeah. 275 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:26,425 What's she doing now? 276 00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:29,428 She must be going to crack a safe tonight. 277 00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:31,931 She's sandpapering the ends of her fingers. 278 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:33,432 Are you sure? 279 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,434 Yeah. 280 00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,324 I was wrong. 281 00:10:41,324 --> 00:10:43,326 She's using an emery board on her nails. 282 00:10:43,326 --> 00:10:44,994 Come on, Sherlock, 283 00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:47,496 let's go back to headquarters and forget it. 284 00:10:47,496 --> 00:10:48,998 Forget it? We've only been here an hour. 285 00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:51,000 I'm cold, I want to go home. 286 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,001 Well, go ahead. 287 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:54,003 Leave me your coat, will you? 288 00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:55,504 (sneezes) 289 00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:57,506 Say, you are getting cold, 290 00:10:57,506 --> 00:10:59,508 sneezing like... 291 00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:01,010 Here, put this on. 292 00:11:03,012 --> 00:11:05,014 Put my hat on, too. 293 00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:08,801 Now, don't hang around here too long! 294 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:11,687 I won't. Just long enough to clear the name 295 00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:13,189 of my good friend, Madame X... 296 00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:14,023 Uh, Lucy. 297 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,649 (sneezes loudly) 298 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:49,008 I'm sorry to wake you up, honey. 299 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,979 I'm going to take you over to Aunt Ethel's. 300 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,482 That might have been Madame X on the fire escape. 301 00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,983 (door shuts) 302 00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,985 There she is. 303 00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:08,944 I don't believe it. 304 00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:11,947 Your Aunt Ethel is Madame X! 305 00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:24,343 (sighs) 306 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,346 Here's your house money for the week, honey. 307 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,349 Now put it away. Don't lose it. 308 00:12:43,612 --> 00:12:46,615 Now, look, Lucy, you've got to stop even thinking 309 00:12:47,116 --> 00:12:48,367 that Ethel is Madame X. 310 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,070 I know, but after what I saw... 311 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,572 What was she doing out there on that fire escape 312 00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:54,907 wearing a man's hat and coat? 313 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,876 Well, there must be a good reason for it. 314 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,328 I'd like nothing better than to find a good reason. 315 00:12:59,328 --> 00:13:01,630 I've been thinking and thinking and I can't find one. 316 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:04,884 Well, now, you don't really think that Ethel is Madame X? 317 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,336 Of course not, but how can I prove it? 318 00:13:07,336 --> 00:13:08,804 Well, why don't you just ask her about it? 319 00:13:08,804 --> 00:13:10,806 Oh, sure. What am I gonna say? 320 00:13:10,806 --> 00:13:13,592 "Hi, Ethel, robbed any good apartments lately?" 321 00:13:14,977 --> 00:13:15,978 You know what I mean. 322 00:13:15,978 --> 00:13:18,981 Tell her that you saw her out on the fire escape. 323 00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:20,399 Oh, I can't do that. 324 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,267 Why not? 325 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:22,735 If she's not Madame X, 326 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,236 she'll tell why she was out there. 327 00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:26,572 And if she is, she'll shoot me. 328 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,442 We got to be clever about this, Ricky. 329 00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,778 What do the police do when they suspect someone? 330 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:35,998 Oh, well, they got a whole routine. 331 00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:37,666 What kind of a routine? 332 00:13:37,666 --> 00:13:40,035 Well, you know, they got, uh... 333 00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:43,539 clues, fingerprints... 334 00:13:43,539 --> 00:13:45,341 telltale evidences... 335 00:13:45,341 --> 00:13:46,759 Fingerprints! 336 00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:49,628 We'll try to get Ethel's fingerprints on something. 337 00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,597 This silver cigarette case of yours 338 00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,098 would be just perfect. 339 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:02,892 Hello, Ethel. 340 00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:05,895 Ethel, we were just wondering why we haven't... 341 00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:09,398 Oh, Fred, I didn't recognize your voice. 342 00:14:09,398 --> 00:14:10,399 Oh... 343 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:11,901 How are you? 344 00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:13,402 Oh, we're fine. 345 00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:14,904 Yeah, well, we were just sitting around, 346 00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:17,907 wondering why you haven't dropped over lately. 347 00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:19,909 Yeah, well, why don't you come over? 348 00:14:19,909 --> 00:14:22,912 Oh, good. Bring the madame, uh, the missus... 349 00:14:22,912 --> 00:14:24,914 Uh, Ethel, bring Ethel. 350 00:14:24,914 --> 00:14:25,915 Oh, all right, bye. 351 00:14:25,915 --> 00:14:27,917 They're coming right over. 352 00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:29,919 This will just be perfect. 353 00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:32,922 Now, let's see... we can serve drinks, 354 00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:35,424 maybe get fingerprints on the glasses, too. 355 00:14:35,424 --> 00:14:37,426 Okay, I'll make some lemonade or something. 356 00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:37,927 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 357 00:14:37,927 --> 00:14:38,928 Just serve two drinks. 358 00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,229 Just two? 359 00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:41,647 Yeah. Now, we won't touch a thing. 360 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,933 That way, all the fingerprints will be theirs. 361 00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,234 Okay. 362 00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:46,735 Don't forget now. 363 00:14:52,741 --> 00:14:54,243 Now, keep your eyes peeled for clues 364 00:14:54,743 --> 00:14:55,744 while we're over there. 365 00:14:55,744 --> 00:14:58,747 Hey, if you could get Lucy to choke you, 366 00:14:58,747 --> 00:15:01,750 we'd have her fingerprints on your neck. 367 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,253 Hey, that's a good idea. 368 00:15:04,253 --> 00:15:05,754 Yeah, I like it. 369 00:15:05,754 --> 00:15:07,756 I don't mean the choking part. 370 00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:10,759 We'll try and get her fingerprints on something. 371 00:15:10,759 --> 00:15:12,261 All right. 372 00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:14,763 Now, while we're over there, we won't touch a thing, 373 00:15:14,763 --> 00:15:16,765 and any fingerprints will be theirs. 374 00:15:16,765 --> 00:15:18,267 All right, come on, let's go. 375 00:15:19,768 --> 00:15:22,271 (door buzzer sounds) 376 00:15:22,271 --> 00:15:24,273 Hi, Ethel, Fred! Come on in. 377 00:15:24,273 --> 00:15:25,274 Hello, honey. 378 00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,192 Come in and sit down, won't you? 379 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:28,193 Hi. Hello, Lucy. 380 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:29,695 LUCY: Good to see you. 381 00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:30,696 I bet you were wondering 382 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,197 why I asked you over here tonight. 383 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:33,699 Well, yes. 384 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,201 Oh... 385 00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:42,541 Uh, I have something I want to show you. 386 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,043 What? 387 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,545 Here, take it. 388 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:47,546 I can see it. 389 00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,048 It's that cigarette case 390 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,383 that, uh, Ricky got for Christmas last year. 391 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,802 Oh, you've seen it before, huh? 392 00:15:53,802 --> 00:15:54,803 Yeah. 393 00:15:55,304 --> 00:15:56,805 Oh. 394 00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:58,807 You want to see it again? 395 00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:00,309 No. 396 00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:01,810 Oh. 397 00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:03,812 Uh... uh, look inside. 398 00:16:04,313 --> 00:16:05,814 You haven't seen the inscription, have you? 399 00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:07,733 You mean the one that says, uh, 400 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:11,236 "Merry Christmas to the boss from the boys, 1952"? 401 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,439 Yeah, that's the one. 402 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,823 Yeah, I've seen it. 403 00:16:16,325 --> 00:16:18,327 Uh, you know, this is pure silver. 404 00:16:18,327 --> 00:16:21,330 Isn't it amazing how heavy silver is? 405 00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:22,331 Here, lift it. 406 00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:24,783 I know, it weighs a ton. 407 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,285 That's the reason Ricky never carries it. 408 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:29,254 Yeah... yeah. 409 00:16:30,673 --> 00:16:31,674 Well... 410 00:16:32,675 --> 00:16:33,676 RICKY: Hello, folks! 411 00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:35,177 Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Rick. 412 00:16:35,177 --> 00:16:36,178 Put the drinks right down there, dear. 413 00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:37,179 Okay. Oh, just a minute. 414 00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:38,681 Just a minute. Uh, oh. 415 00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,468 Okay. 416 00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:43,969 There you are. 417 00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:45,471 Have one, Fred. 418 00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,472 No, thanks. 419 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,474 Go ahead, help yourself, Ethel. 420 00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:49,975 No, thanks, I'm on a diet. 421 00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:53,395 Oh, on a diet. Why, you don't have to reduce. 422 00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,230 If anything, I'd say you were underweight. 423 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:58,200 Have you been to an oculist lately? 424 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,451 Oh, keep quiet. 425 00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,236 Come on, Ethel. 426 00:17:01,236 --> 00:17:03,238 Have one, come on. 427 00:17:03,238 --> 00:17:04,123 Here. 428 00:17:05,574 --> 00:17:07,076 No, I'm not thirsty, anyway. 429 00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:09,545 Oh... 430 00:17:09,545 --> 00:17:11,046 well... 431 00:17:11,046 --> 00:17:13,048 Oh, don't let that keep you from having one, honey. 432 00:17:13,048 --> 00:17:14,550 You have one. 433 00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:15,551 Oh, all right. 434 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,553 Hand it to me, will you, dear? 435 00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:19,054 Uh-huh. 436 00:17:25,928 --> 00:17:28,430 No, thanks, I changed my mind, I... 437 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,820 Uh, oh, uh, let's have some peanuts. 438 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,572 Dear, they're right there on the mantel. 439 00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:37,856 Oh, okay. 440 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,158 (clears throat) 441 00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:58,127 Here. 442 00:17:58,627 --> 00:18:00,129 Oh, thanks. 443 00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:05,134 I'd like some. 444 00:18:05,634 --> 00:18:06,135 All right. 445 00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:07,636 Oh, just a minute. 446 00:18:07,636 --> 00:18:10,639 Uh, here, hand this to Fred, dear. 447 00:18:10,639 --> 00:18:11,640 All right. 448 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:15,861 Thanks. 449 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:21,567 Well, come on, Fred, let's go. 450 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:22,568 All right. 451 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,569 Oh, don't go. 452 00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,571 Oh, honey, I've got a hundred things to do. 453 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:28,073 LUCY: Oh, that's too bad. I didn't... 454 00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,575 Oh, we may come later. 455 00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,076 We might come up later. 456 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:32,077 Oh, well, I hope so. 457 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,078 FRED: Bye-bye. Thanks. 458 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,080 Bye. See you later now, if you can. 459 00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:37,583 Darn it! 460 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,585 Did you see how slippery she was? 461 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,086 She deliberately kept 462 00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:42,588 from putting her fingers on anything. 463 00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:43,589 Yeah. 464 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,591 How about that, huh? 465 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:46,592 Mm... 466 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,594 Hmm. 467 00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,095 How about that? 468 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,599 I got them! I got them! 469 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:54,600 I got her fingerprints! 470 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,901 Where did you get them? 471 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,736 On that silver cigarette case. 472 00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:59,238 Oh, pretty slick, huh? 473 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:01,740 Now, all I got to do is take this down to the police station 474 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:04,109 and compare these with Madame X's... Ha, ha! 475 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,577 I'll go get my coat on. 476 00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:06,578 All right. 477 00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:17,873 Fred! 478 00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:20,375 Don't touch that cigarette case. 479 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:23,629 I don't want any fingerprints on that but Lucy's. 480 00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:31,520 Now, let's see. 481 00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,523 I think I got good, clear prints. 482 00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,535 Hey, she's cleverer than I thought. 483 00:19:46,535 --> 00:19:49,037 She handled that with her bare hands 484 00:19:49,037 --> 00:19:51,290 and didn't leave a print on it. 485 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:53,575 Yeah, how about that? 486 00:19:58,247 --> 00:20:00,249 Honey, I'm late for the club already. I'll see you later. 487 00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:03,252 Ricky, have you got your sil-silver cigarette case? 488 00:20:03,252 --> 00:20:04,753 No. Why? 489 00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:06,255 Well, I left it right here someplace, 490 00:20:06,255 --> 00:20:07,556 and I just can't underst... 491 00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:11,310 Ethel swiped your cigarette case. 492 00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:14,479 She really is Madame X. 493 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,899 Oh, come on, now. 494 00:20:16,899 --> 00:20:18,901 Yes! Now, we got to do something about this. 495 00:20:19,401 --> 00:20:20,402 I don't know what you're gonna do, 496 00:20:20,402 --> 00:20:21,403 but I got to go. Good night, honey. 497 00:20:21,403 --> 00:20:22,905 Listen, Ricky, now, I got an idea. 498 00:20:22,905 --> 00:20:24,823 I'm gonna call Ethel and I'm gonna tell her 499 00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,326 that I'm gonna the baby over to Mrs. Trumbull's apartment, 500 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,578 and then I'm going to the club with you tonight. 501 00:20:29,578 --> 00:20:30,362 Why? 502 00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:31,697 Well, that way, she'll think 503 00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:32,698 the apartment is empty 504 00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:35,200 an-and if she wants to really rob it, she can. 505 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,202 And th-then I'll hide in here, 506 00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,204 an-and I'll catch her red-handed. 507 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:41,540 And maybe I can talk her out of this life of crime. 508 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:45,510 Oh, now, look, honey, why don't you get a good book, 509 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,796 go to bed and forget all these crazy schemes? 510 00:20:47,796 --> 00:20:49,598 They're not crazy schemes. 511 00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:50,599 Yes, they are. 512 00:20:50,599 --> 00:20:52,601 Now, good night, dear. 513 00:20:52,601 --> 00:20:53,885 Good night, dear. 514 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,692 (door shuts) 515 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:14,206 Hello, Ethel. 516 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,208 Uh, Ethel, in case you were thinking 517 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:17,709 of dropping over again tonight, 518 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,378 I just wanted you to know that we wouldn't be home. 519 00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:23,942 Ethel, not my good silver! 520 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:27,446 You know that belongs to Ricky's mother! 521 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:28,947 Put that gun away! 522 00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:29,948 Put that away! 523 00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,450 What do you want to do, hurt somebody? 524 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:32,784 Now stop that! 525 00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,403 The i... the idea! 526 00:22:34,403 --> 00:22:35,904 I'm surprised at you! 527 00:22:36,405 --> 00:22:38,707 Trying to rob our apartment! 528 00:22:38,707 --> 00:22:40,125 Why, Ethel Mertz! 529 00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:42,044 Why, Ethel Mertz! 530 00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:45,047 I have never heard of such a thing before. 531 00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:46,048 You... 532 00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:57,976 You should be ashamed of yourself. 533 00:22:57,976 --> 00:22:58,977 Ethel, now, you... 534 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:00,812 This is not the life for you. 535 00:23:00,812 --> 00:23:02,230 If it's money you need, 536 00:23:02,230 --> 00:23:03,732 I'll pay you what I owe you. 537 00:23:05,734 --> 00:23:07,736 You give up this life of crime, 538 00:23:07,736 --> 00:23:09,571 and I won't tell a soul that you're Madame X. 539 00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,023 Lucy. What?! 540 00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:13,358 What's the matter? 541 00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:14,609 I got Madame... 542 00:23:14,609 --> 00:23:16,361 Whoops! 543 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:18,246 Madame X! 544 00:23:18,246 --> 00:23:19,247 Madame X! 545 00:23:19,748 --> 00:23:20,749 (screams) That's Madame X! 546 00:23:20,749 --> 00:23:22,250 (Lucy and Ethel shrieking) 547 00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:23,251 Oh, Lucy! 548 00:23:23,251 --> 00:23:24,252 Oh! Oh! 549 00:23:24,252 --> 00:23:25,754 Oh, Lucy! 550 00:23:27,756 --> 00:23:29,257 What's the matter? 551 00:23:29,758 --> 00:23:31,760 No, no, it isn't Lucy. 552 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,762 The real Madame X got away. 553 00:23:34,763 --> 00:23:35,764 Which way did she go? 554 00:23:35,764 --> 00:23:36,765 She went that way. 555 00:23:36,765 --> 00:23:37,766 This way? Yeah. 556 00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:38,767 Sure? Yeah. 557 00:23:41,103 --> 00:23:43,021 Oh! 558 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,523 Ethel, Ethel! 559 00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:45,524 Huh? 560 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:46,525 Let go of my neck. 561 00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:48,026 Oh. 562 00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:49,811 Oh, I'm sorry. 563 00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:51,613 Oh... 564 00:23:51,613 --> 00:23:53,615 Oh, dear. 565 00:23:53,615 --> 00:23:55,117 Oh... Oh, Lucy... 566 00:23:55,117 --> 00:23:57,119 I'm so relieved to know that 567 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,121 that was the real Madame X and not you. 568 00:23:59,621 --> 00:24:00,622 Me, too. 569 00:24:00,622 --> 00:24:02,124 Gee, Ethel, I'm sorry. 570 00:24:02,124 --> 00:24:04,576 What do you mean that I wasn't Madame X? 571 00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:05,877 I thought you were. 572 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:07,746 I was? 573 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:09,080 How did you get that idea? 574 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,333 Where did you get the idea I was? 575 00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:12,667 Mrs. Trumbull says she saw you 576 00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:15,470 sneaking out of our apartment, carrying one of Fred's suits. 577 00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:16,888 Oh, that was for a model. 578 00:24:16,888 --> 00:24:18,890 Ricky was going to give your Fred a suit 579 00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,392 for his birthday. 580 00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:21,893 Oh, dear. 581 00:24:21,893 --> 00:24:24,396 What were you doing out on our fire escape, 582 00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:25,764 wearing a man's hat and coat? 583 00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:27,265 I was spying on you. 584 00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:28,767 I thought you were Madame X 585 00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:31,269 and Fred and I went out on the fire escape 586 00:24:31,269 --> 00:24:34,272 and I got cold and he gave me his coat and hat. 587 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:35,774 Oh, no. 588 00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:36,775 RICKY: I got her! 589 00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:38,527 Honey, I got Ethel! I got Ethel! 590 00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:39,611 Ethel! 591 00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:42,747 (clamoring) 592 00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,250 I got her! I got her, honey! 593 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,002 (shouting) 594 00:24:50,005 --> 00:24:51,456 (all clamoring) 595 00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:53,959 We got her! I got her! I got her! 596 00:24:53,959 --> 00:24:55,427 Did you see how I got her there? 597 00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:56,428 Yeah, I saw you. 598 00:24:56,428 --> 00:24:57,295 I caught her right there. 599 00:24:57,295 --> 00:24:59,264 I caught her myself! 600 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,207 ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) 601 00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:13,211 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 602 00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:22,721 ANNOUNCER: Mrs. Trumbull was played by Elizabeth Patterson. 603 00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:24,222 Madame X was Alice Wills 604 00:25:24,222 --> 00:25:26,725 and the policeman was Alan Jenkins. 605 00:26:03,194 --> 00:26:05,664 I Love Lucy is a Desilu production. 606 00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:07,666 Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz 607 00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:10,101 will be back next week at this same time. 608 00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:15,607 ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS Television Network. 40501

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