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1
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,731
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
2
00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:33,633
Those things were always happening to
us.
3
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,135
Oh, you characters.
4
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,637
So anyhow, we went down to Miami
5
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,639
and asked the real estate man
6
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,474
to show us our lot.
7
00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,926
He pointed out in the bay
8
00:00:42,926 --> 00:00:45,428
and he said, "You see that row boat?
9
00:00:45,428 --> 00:00:46,813
It's anchored on your lot."
10
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,264
(laughs)
11
00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:49,766
We thought we were going to be
millionaires.
12
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:50,767
Ah, here's Lucy.
13
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:51,768
Well, it's about time.
14
00:00:51,768 --> 00:00:52,769
Let's go.
15
00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:54,270
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not ready yet.
16
00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:56,656
Well, honey, Mrs. Trumbull is with
Little Ricky.
17
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,108
Let's go.
Honey, it'll only be a minute.
18
00:00:58,108 --> 00:00:59,109
My nails aren't dry.
19
00:00:59,109 --> 00:01:00,110
But I'm hungry.
20
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:01,611
Come on now, sit down.
21
00:01:02,112 --> 00:01:03,613
Tell another story, Fred.
22
00:01:03,613 --> 00:01:05,615
Oh, well, all right.
23
00:01:05,615 --> 00:01:07,117
Rick, did I ever tell you
24
00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:08,952
what happened to Ethel and me on our
honeymoon?
25
00:01:08,952 --> 00:01:10,754
Not lately.
26
00:01:10,754 --> 00:01:12,172
Oh!
27
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,540
Did I tell you, Lucy?
28
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,841
Yes.
29
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,093
I was there.
30
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:19,512
Oh, I forgot.
31
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:22,515
Hey, you know, speaking of funny
things that happen to people,
32
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:25,018
Lucy, you remember the musicians'
picnic last Fourth of July?
33
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,519
Oh, what a day that was.
34
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,021
What happened?
35
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,022
Oh, well...
36
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,023
I'll tell it, dear.
37
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,775
Oh, okay.
38
00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:34,778
The, uh, the musicians' local was
having a picnic, see...
39
00:01:35,278 --> 00:01:36,279
it was for charity.
You know, you paid so much money
40
00:01:36,279 --> 00:01:38,281
and half of it went for charity
41
00:01:38,281 --> 00:01:40,283
and half of it went for the picnic.
44
00:01:43,119 --> 00:01:44,537
wanted to go,
45
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:47,040
so Marco and Alberto and Pepin
46
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:48,541
and Joe and Ralph--
47
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:51,044
everybody was going down there.
48
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,046
So we left about 10:00...
49
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,547
It was 12:00.
50
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:57,333
No, dear, it was 10:00.
51
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,635
No, honey, it was 12:00.
52
00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:00,003
Well, what's the difference?
53
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:02,005
Two hours.
54
00:02:03,973 --> 00:02:04,974
I mean to the story.
55
00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:06,476
It doesn't make any difference.
56
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:07,477
Yes, it does, dear.
57
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:08,978
That's the reason we were late.
58
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:09,979
That's why...
59
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,481
Well, it's your story, go ahead.
60
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:12,482
Thank you.
61
00:02:12,982 --> 00:02:14,484
Well, we got to the picnic grounds...
62
00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:15,485
Don't forget about the cars.
63
00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:16,986
What was that?
64
00:02:16,986 --> 00:02:19,489
I said don't forget about the cars,
dear.
65
00:02:19,489 --> 00:02:20,990
Oh, the cars.
Yeah, that's right.
66
00:02:21,491 --> 00:02:22,492
We took three cars.
67
00:02:22,492 --> 00:02:23,993
Lucy and I were in the first car,
68
00:02:23,993 --> 00:02:25,495
Pepin was in the second car
69
00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:26,996
and Marco was in the last car.
70
00:02:26,996 --> 00:02:29,499
Oh, honey, you're ruining everything.
71
00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:32,001
Would you like to tell the story?
72
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:34,003
No, dear, you're the storyteller in
the family,
73
00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:35,505
but I just want you to get it right.
74
00:02:35,505 --> 00:02:37,006
Now, Pepin was in the first car,
75
00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:39,259
Marco was in the second and we were
in the last.
76
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,627
Maybe Pepin was in the first car,
77
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,128
and you were in the second
78
00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:43,129
and Marco was in the third.
79
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,013
Fred.
80
00:02:45,381 --> 00:02:48,384
Well, it was the only combination
left.
81
00:02:49,185 --> 00:02:51,554
Okay, I take it all back.
82
00:02:51,554 --> 00:02:54,057
We all took the same bus.
83
00:02:55,058 --> 00:02:57,560
Coward.
84
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,561
Anyway...
85
00:02:59,062 --> 00:03:02,065
we got to the picnic grounds about
2:00.
86
00:03:05,068 --> 00:03:06,069
Don't look at me.
87
00:03:06,069 --> 00:03:08,571
I'm not going to say anything more.
88
00:03:08,571 --> 00:03:09,572
Good.
89
00:03:09,572 --> 00:03:12,575
I'm not going to tell you what you
left out.
90
00:03:15,578 --> 00:03:19,582
Anyway, we got to the picnic grounds
about...
91
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:23,586
um... what did I leave out?
92
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:26,589
Nothing, go on with the story.
93
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:29,092
Well, it feels like there's something
94
00:03:29,092 --> 00:03:30,093
missing there someplace.
95
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:31,094
You sure?
96
00:03:31,594 --> 00:03:32,428
Positive.
97
00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:35,398
All right, well, we spread the food
out
98
00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:36,900
and it started to rain.
99
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:37,901
Oh, it poured.
100
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,904
So we took everything and we ran to
the cars
101
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:42,906
and then when we got there...
102
00:03:42,906 --> 00:03:45,408
Yeah, yeah, what happened?
103
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:46,910
What's the matter, Ricky?
104
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,912
What did I leave out?
105
00:03:48,912 --> 00:03:50,413
Nothing, I was just kidding you.
106
00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:51,915
Now go on.
107
00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:53,917
Well, I'm telling you, it feels like
there's
108
00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:55,418
something missing there someplace.
109
00:03:55,418 --> 00:03:56,419
Oh, what's the difference?
110
00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:57,420
Go on and finish it.
111
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,422
Well...
112
00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:00,423
Oh, the heck with it.
113
00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:01,424
It's not funny anymore.
114
00:04:01,424 --> 00:04:03,042
Come on, let's go and have dinner.
115
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:05,044
Well, all right.
My nails are dry now.
116
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,546
Let's go to that place on 45th
Street.
117
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:08,548
Oh, I hear they have wonderful
steaks.
118
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,466
Well, I don't particularly feel like
a steak.
119
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,468
Steak sounds wonderful.
We'll go there.
120
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:14,971
Now, wait just a minute, Lucy.
121
00:04:14,971 --> 00:04:15,972
What's the matter?
122
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:17,974
Well, I just had about enough of
this.
123
00:04:17,974 --> 00:04:19,892
First you keep everybody waiting
124
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,394
while you're fixing your nails.
125
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:22,895
Then-then you keep interrupting me
126
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,397
while I'm telling the story,
127
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,398
and now you decide all by yourself
128
00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:26,899
where we're going to eat dinner
129
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:28,234
because you want a steak.
130
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,702
Well, Ricky, I...
131
00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,204
Well, I don't feel like eating steak
tonight.
132
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,705
I want to eat spaghetti tonight.
133
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,040
Well, maybe...
134
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,908
So we're going to eat spaghetti.
135
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,910
Yes, sir.
136
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,912
And the next time that I tell a
story,
137
00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:41,414
you stay out of it.
138
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:42,915
Yes, sir.
139
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:44,917
And be on time from now on, or we're
going to go without you.
140
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,419
Yes, sir.
141
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,920
We're going to run this house like we
do in Cuba,
142
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,422
where the man is the master
143
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,757
and the woman does what she's told.
144
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,558
Si, senor.
145
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,396
And don't get smart.
146
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:57,897
Now go get your coat.
147
00:05:09,692 --> 00:05:12,528
Oh, yeah?!
148
00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:15,248
Attagirl, Lucy.
149
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:17,116
I was wondering what happened to you.
150
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:19,002
It just sunk in.
151
00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:21,454
I don't know how you treat your women
in Cuba,
152
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,955
but this is the United States,
153
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,257
and I have my rights.
154
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:27,543
I am not arguing about women's
rights.
155
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,545
I am the first one to agree
156
00:05:29,545 --> 00:05:32,048
that women should have all the rights
they want
157
00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:33,549
as long as they stay in their place.
158
00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:34,967
That's telling her.
159
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:35,968
Oh, you're just as bad as he is,
Fred.
160
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,971
You men tell us that we have equal
rights,
161
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,473
but you certainly don't give us a
chance
162
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:41,974
to act like it.
163
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,476
What do you want?
164
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,978
You've got the vote, you wear pants,
165
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,481
you drive buses, you wrestle.
166
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,983
You go every place you please
167
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:54,287
except the steam room in the Y.M.C.A.
168
00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:56,572
That isn't true.
169
00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:58,574
Equal rights means just what it
says--
170
00:05:58,574 --> 00:05:59,575
equal rights.
171
00:05:59,575 --> 00:06:02,378
Well, that's a good explanation.
172
00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:04,080
Oh, you know what she means.
173
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,882
Yes, and we want to be treated that
way.
174
00:06:06,382 --> 00:06:07,884
From now on, everything is equal.
175
00:06:07,884 --> 00:06:10,386
We want to be treated exactly as if
we were men.
176
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:18,227
Well, this calls for a little
conference.
177
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,979
Pardon me, mister.
178
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,817
Okay.
179
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,819
From now on you have equal rights.
180
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:27,820
We will treat you
181
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,822
exactly as if you were men.
182
00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:30,823
Is it a deal?
183
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,325
It's a deal.
184
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,826
What about you, mac?
185
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:36,329
It's a deal.
186
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,331
Let's get our coats, Lucy.
187
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:43,836
Listen, what did you say
188
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,338
about this plumber that you...
189
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:46,839
I phoned him this morning.
190
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,341
He's coming out this afternoon...
191
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,843
Ricky, that's my coat.
192
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:51,844
I know that's your coat, honey.
193
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,846
This is my coat over here.
194
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:55,848
...up this afternoon, checked
everything in the house.
195
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,850
Oh, come on, let's put them on
ourselves.
196
00:06:57,850 --> 00:07:00,853
(all talking at once)
197
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,355
Say, I was going to say
198
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,357
when you came in the room,
199
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,859
You like it?
that suit is just beautiful.
200
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,361
Oh, I'm crazy about it.
201
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:09,862
Thank you.
202
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:10,780
One of the prettiest ones I ever saw.
203
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,281
Oh!
204
00:07:13,783 --> 00:07:17,286
Pardon me, mister, my fault.
205
00:07:17,286 --> 00:07:21,290
You know this fellow looks familiar
to me.
206
00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:23,793
Reminds me of my father.
207
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:29,749
This way, please.
208
00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:50,987
Thank you.
209
00:07:52,989 --> 00:07:54,490
The least you could do
210
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,492
is pull out my chair for me.
211
00:07:56,492 --> 00:07:58,110
Never mind, Ethel.
They're just being smart.
212
00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,612
Ignore them.
213
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,113
Honey, what are you talking about?
214
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,615
We're just treating you as equals.
215
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,116
Yeah, isn't that what you wanted?
216
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,117
Oh.
217
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:07,753
May I take your order?
218
00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:08,754
Yes, I think...
219
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,757
I'd like some meatballs,
220
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,760
spaghetti, and some pizza.
221
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,762
Now, what would you like?
222
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:18,264
Bring me some meatballs
223
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,765
and spaghetti and pizza.
224
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,767
And a little green salad.
225
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,270
Green salad, yes.
226
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,772
Now what would you like?
227
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:29,775
And some coffee with my meal, please?
228
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:31,227
Me, too.
229
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,230
Now what will you have?
230
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,732
Are you sure you're quite through?
231
00:08:36,732 --> 00:08:38,651
Yes, dear, go ahead and order.
232
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,653
Don't keep the man waiting.
233
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,154
Uh, I would like...
234
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:43,656
Oh, dear, now I forgot what I wanted,
235
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,658
you took so long ordering.
236
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:47,159
Oh, yes, I'd like a steak, medium
rare
237
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,961
and spaghetti on the side.
238
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:50,296
Certainly, and you?
239
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:52,298
I'll take the same, well done.
240
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,799
Well done-- thank you.
241
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,301
Oh, I dropped my purse, dear.
242
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,302
Can you see it there?
243
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,803
Yep.
244
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:03,142
It's right there by my foot.
245
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,016
Uh, would you excuse us a minute?
246
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,017
We'll be right back.
247
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,018
Where you going?
248
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,519
Oh, we're just going to the
drugstore.
249
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,521
We'll be back before the food gets
here.
250
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,523
Fred...
251
00:09:22,912 --> 00:09:24,413
Oh, boy, that was a great meal.
252
00:09:24,413 --> 00:09:25,414
Wasn't that wonderful?
253
00:09:25,414 --> 00:09:27,250
We ought to come back here more
often.
254
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,201
Yes, sir.
255
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,546
Cigarette?
256
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,548
Thank you.
257
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:44,550
Light?
258
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,385
Thank you.
259
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:49,355
At least two of us are gentlemen.
260
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:53,225
How do I look?
261
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:56,696
Uh, we could both stand a repair job.
262
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,197
Oh, you look all right.
263
00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:01,200
Um, how do I look, Fred?
264
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,201
Pretty bad.
265
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:04,704
I guess we could stand a repair job,
too.
266
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,707
Always kidding.
267
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,710
(whirring)
268
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,879
Ricky, Ricky!
269
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:16,666
Oh, now, Fred!
270
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,468
Fred!
271
00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:21,220
This is a terrible thing...
272
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,089
Oh, for heaven's sake.
273
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,590
Oh, fellas, we get your message.
274
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,058
All right, okay.
275
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,060
Oh, now, Ricky, really.
276
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,012
All right.
Equal rights, dear.
277
00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:31,263
Equal rights, equal rights.
All right.
278
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:35,434
We get your point, we get your point.
279
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:36,352
You win.
280
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:38,354
Oh, really, boys.
281
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:42,358
Oh, no.
282
00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:45,361
Well, I've seen everything now.
283
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:46,862
All right, let's get the check
284
00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:48,364
and get out of here.
285
00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:49,365
Okay.
286
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:51,367
Uh... Xavier?
287
00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:54,370
Yes, sir?
288
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,755
Something more for you--
289
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,707
more coffee, dessert...
290
00:10:57,707 --> 00:10:59,091
after-shave lotion?
291
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:02,595
(laughs heartily)
292
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,431
Just the check, please.
293
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,100
He has a sense of humor.
294
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,969
Pardon me a minute.
295
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,471
LUCY: Honestly, it's getting so you
can expect anything
296
00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:13,973
from these two goofs we're married
to.
297
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,475
ETHEL: That's the first time Fred's
shaved in a week.
298
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,978
FRED: You should've seen the look on
your faces.
299
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,481
Oh, that was a good meal.
300
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:24,483
Uh-huh.
It really was.
301
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:26,485
You two.
302
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:27,486
Thank you, sir.
303
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:28,988
Characters.
304
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,207
What's this?
305
00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:32,708
Separate checks.
306
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:35,711
What do you mean, separate checks?
307
00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:37,713
Equal rights, dear.
308
00:11:37,713 --> 00:11:40,166
Fred, aren't you going to pay for my
dinner?
309
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,169
And take away your independence?
Never.
310
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:47,139
All right, Ethel, we can go along
with the gag.
311
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,425
I'll say. If you want to play it that
way, okay...
312
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:52,061
Say, Lucy, have you got any...
I don't have any...
313
00:11:52,561 --> 00:11:53,345
What'd you say?
314
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,014
Do you have any money?
315
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:55,898
I haven't got a cent.
316
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:57,733
I was going to put the bite on you.
317
00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:59,935
You took the bite right out of my
mouth.
318
00:11:59,935 --> 00:12:01,570
This is a little embarrassing, Rick.
319
00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:02,938
I didn't know we came to dinner
320
00:12:02,938 --> 00:12:04,240
with a couple of deadbeats.
321
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,609
Well, you never can tell, Fred.
322
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:08,110
Looks like.
323
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,112
See you along...
see you around, gir... fellas.
324
00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:12,114
Oh, now, wait a minute.
325
00:12:12,114 --> 00:12:13,115
Come here now, Ricky.
326
00:12:13,115 --> 00:12:14,617
Oh, Fred, now wait a minute.
327
00:12:14,617 --> 00:12:16,118
That's carrying it a little too far.
328
00:12:16,118 --> 00:12:18,120
Ricky, Ricky, come here.
329
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,121
Pardon me.
330
00:12:19,622 --> 00:12:20,623
What are you trying to do--
331
00:12:21,123 --> 00:12:22,124
skip out without paying?
332
00:12:22,625 --> 00:12:23,626
Well, our husbands were playing
333
00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:25,127
a little joke on us.
334
00:12:25,127 --> 00:12:27,630
They said we were going to have to
pay
335
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:28,631
for our dinner.
Yes.
336
00:12:28,631 --> 00:12:31,600
But we don't have any money with us.
337
00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:33,102
Isn't that funny?
338
00:12:35,104 --> 00:12:36,105
Well, we'll go home
339
00:12:36,105 --> 00:12:37,606
and come right back with the money.
340
00:12:37,606 --> 00:12:39,108
We'll bring it right back to you.
341
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,696
Well, what do you want us to do?
342
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,197
(chuckles)
343
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,699
You know what this is?
344
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,150
It's a dish.
345
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,151
Right.
346
00:12:49,151 --> 00:12:51,070
And we have lots more in the kitchen.
347
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,072
People have been eating off them.
348
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,373
They get so dirty.
349
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,708
Just a minute!
350
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,544
We're not washing any dishes.
351
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,917
We're not washing any dishes, are we?
352
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:30,292
Uh-huh.
Well, now, look, Xavier,
353
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:31,794
don't tell them that I called.
354
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,797
See, but as soon as they finish
washing the dishes,
355
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:37,299
you call me and we'll come down and
pick them up.
356
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,251
Okay, all right.
357
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,253
(chuckles)
358
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:45,758
Everybody's gone
359
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:48,761
and they're still working their heads
off down there.
360
00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:58,654
Oh, girls...
361
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,608
if you don't mind, will you let me
know when you're finished?
362
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,109
I'll be in my office.
363
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,111
I'm waiting to lock up!
364
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,584
(mocking Xavier): He's waiting to
lock up.
365
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,585
Oh, we don't mind.
366
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,869
When you finish.
367
00:14:13,869 --> 00:14:16,005
Finish, waiting to lock up.
368
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,925
I hope he never locks up.
369
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,437
No!
370
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,940
Those are clean.
371
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:44,233
I never worked so hard in my life.
372
00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:45,568
Neither did I.
373
00:14:45,568 --> 00:14:48,287
I wonder where all these came from.
374
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:49,622
I don't know.
I think he takes in
375
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:51,624
dirty dishes from other restaurants.
376
00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:57,212
Honestly, every time I think of those
boobs we're married to,
377
00:14:57,212 --> 00:14:58,213
I just get furious.
378
00:14:58,714 --> 00:14:59,715
So do I.
379
00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,967
They make me so mad.
380
00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:06,138
Maybe this'll teach you to keep your
big mouth shut.
381
00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:10,392
Me? What do you mean?
382
00:15:10,392 --> 00:15:13,562
Well it was your idea about this
equal rights business.
383
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:14,930
Just a minute.
384
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:17,433
You thought it was a good idea then.
385
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,768
Well, it stinks now.
386
00:15:22,738 --> 00:15:24,239
Well, it's nice to know
387
00:15:24,239 --> 00:15:26,241
that you're the kind of a person
388
00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:28,744
who turns on a friend in a crisis.
389
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:30,746
Oh, listen, Lucy, I've been going
through
390
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:32,247
this type of thing with you for 11
years.
391
00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:34,249
This is my last crisis.
392
00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:35,250
I'm through.
393
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:46,345
(whimpering)
394
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:48,347
Oh, don't cry.
395
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:50,849
I didn't mean anything I said.
396
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:55,020
I'm so upset!
397
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:58,307
I know, so am I.
398
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,062
Lucy, you mustn't cry anymore.
399
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:07,483
You're right, I'm making the
dishwater cold.
400
00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:12,955
Oh, well, the main thing is
401
00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,457
to get these dishes done
402
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:16,959
so we can get home.
403
00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:18,243
Yeah!
404
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,662
Wait a minute.
405
00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:22,665
We don't have any money to get home
on.
406
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,416
Oh, yeah.
407
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,336
How do you like those husbands of
ours?
408
00:16:27,336 --> 00:16:30,839
We'll have to walk, all that way
409
00:16:30,839 --> 00:16:34,343
through those dark streets alone.
410
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:36,261
Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised
411
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,765
if a thug jumped out from behind a
dark building
412
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:43,268
and pounced on us and said, "Your
money or your life."
413
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,105
And you know where that'll leave us.
414
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,823
Oh, no.
415
00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:50,743
Yeah, and maybe he'll conk us on the
head
416
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:54,747
and he'll leave us broken and
bleeding in an alley.
417
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,249
And then Ricky and Fred'll be sorry.
418
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:59,618
They'll be sorry?
419
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:06,125
Hey, I know how we can get even with
them.
420
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:07,626
How?
421
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,962
Well, I'll call Ricky
422
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,881
and I'll tell him that the
restaurant's being held up,
423
00:17:12,881 --> 00:17:14,099
and you yell, "Help!"
424
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:15,934
and make noises like struggling
425
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:17,269
in the background.
426
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:21,106
Lucy, how do you think up all these
wonderful things?
427
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:24,693
Promise me when you die,
428
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,029
you'll leave your brain to science.
429
00:17:27,029 --> 00:17:29,782
Okay.
430
00:17:36,905 --> 00:17:38,874
Coast is clear.
431
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:46,498
(phone rings)
432
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:49,802
Hello?
433
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,386
Hello, Ricky, this is Lucy.
434
00:17:51,386 --> 00:17:52,304
It's Lucy.
435
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:53,672
Where are you, honey?
436
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,174
Oh, we're still at the restaurant.
437
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:56,975
They made us do the dishes.
438
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,644
No.
439
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,646
Yeah, but we're almost finished,
440
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,649
and we were wondering if you could
come and...
441
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,150
Oh. Oh, now-now you stay away from
me.
442
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,653
You stay away from me with that gun.
443
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,989
(screaming)
444
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,574
What's the matter, honey?!
What's the matter?!
445
00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:14,243
Two masked men just came in with
guns.
446
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:15,744
What? What's going on?!
447
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:17,196
FRED: What's the matter?
448
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,698
(with deep voice): This is a stickup.
449
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,450
Don't move or I'll shoot.
450
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,001
Honey, what's the matter?
451
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:25,370
Help! Murder! Police!
452
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,872
Don't shoot!
453
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,874
Don't come near me with that gun, and
don't hit Ethel.
454
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:29,875
Don't you dare hit Ethel.
455
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,876
Don't you dare hit Ethel!
456
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,212
(both groaning)
457
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:35,881
Help! Murder!
458
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,382
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
459
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,183
Don't shoot!
460
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,017
(screaming)
461
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:39,802
Don't shoot.
Save us.
462
00:18:39,802 --> 00:18:40,769
Somebody save us!
463
00:18:40,769 --> 00:18:42,271
Oh, come and save us.
464
00:18:42,271 --> 00:18:43,772
Help! Help!
465
00:18:45,808 --> 00:18:48,610
(scream and groaning dramatically)
466
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:51,613
(coughs)
467
00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:54,817
(imitates dying)
468
00:18:54,817 --> 00:18:56,235
Honey, what's the matter?
469
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:57,736
Honey, what's going on!
470
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:59,037
Please, what's the matter?
471
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,793
Lucy, please.
472
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:07,296
Two-two-two-two bandits down there
with guns.
473
00:19:07,296 --> 00:19:09,798
They're holding up the restaurant.
474
00:19:09,798 --> 00:19:11,300
I'll call the police.
475
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,301
No, let me call the police.
476
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:13,302
Wait a minute.
477
00:19:13,302 --> 00:19:14,803
Information.
478
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,805
Information, give me the police.
479
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,307
The police! Police!
480
00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:20,809
P-O-L-S-I-C. Police.
481
00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:22,311
Give me the phone.
482
00:19:22,311 --> 00:19:23,812
I'll talk to the police.
483
00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:26,815
Policia, le habla senor Ricky
Ricardo.
484
00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:29,818
Mi senora esta en un restaurante
alla...
485
00:19:29,818 --> 00:19:31,820
Give me the phone!
486
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:34,823
What are you doing, calling the Cuban
police?
487
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:35,824
Hurry up!
488
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,327
Hello! They're holding up a
restaurant
489
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:39,328
at 39th near Eighth.
490
00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:40,829
Never mind who this is.
491
00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:41,830
Just meet us there.
492
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:43,365
Meet us there, that's right.
493
00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:44,867
Come on, let's go.
494
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,597
The cops aren't here yet.
495
00:19:58,597 --> 00:20:01,600
We'll have to do it ourselves.
496
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,101
Grab a chair.
497
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:26,158
How do you like that?
498
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:29,077
What a dirty trick to scare us half
out of our wits like that.
499
00:20:29,077 --> 00:20:32,080
Oh, boy, they got even with us, all
right.
500
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,081
Yeah.
501
00:20:33,081 --> 00:20:34,383
And they'll never know it.
502
00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:35,384
I'll say they won't.
503
00:20:35,384 --> 00:20:37,386
Come on, now let's get out of here.
504
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:39,888
No, wait a minute.
505
00:20:40,389 --> 00:20:42,891
This story about the bandits is too
good to pass it up.
506
00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:43,892
Yeah?
507
00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:44,726
You got a handkerchief?
508
00:20:44,726 --> 00:20:46,178
Yeah.
509
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,648
Oh.
510
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,402
Well, that's it.
511
00:20:54,403 --> 00:20:57,406
Just got to move those over there,
512
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,407
and we're finished.
513
00:20:58,407 --> 00:20:59,908
Oh, boy.
514
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,444
Here we go.
515
00:21:02,744 --> 00:21:03,578
What a night.
516
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:10,702
(screams)
517
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:12,037
(dishes crash)
518
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:17,042
Ethel, what's the matter with you?
519
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,543
Are you crazy or something?
520
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:20,429
What's the matter with you?
521
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,597
(screams)
522
00:21:22,597 --> 00:21:25,550
(both shrieking)
523
00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:32,557
(laughing)
524
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:41,984
(laughing continues)
525
00:21:45,988 --> 00:21:48,490
Ricky Ricardo.
526
00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:49,992
Fred Mertz.
527
00:21:49,992 --> 00:21:52,411
(mocking Lucy): Two bandits are
holding us up.
528
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:54,629
Ahh!! Ahhh!
529
00:22:01,336 --> 00:22:02,137
Look at these brave women.
530
00:22:02,637 --> 00:22:03,638
All right, you guys, let's go.
531
00:22:03,638 --> 00:22:04,639
Now, wait a minute, fellows!
532
00:22:04,639 --> 00:22:06,141
What's the matter with you guys?
533
00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:07,142
Are you crazy or something?
534
00:22:07,142 --> 00:22:09,061
This is all a joke.
535
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,062
A joke?
536
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:10,896
Sure, it's a joke.
537
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,597
These are our wives here.
538
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:13,432
That's right.
539
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:14,933
Our sweet, loving, little wives.
540
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:16,268
Sure.
541
00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:18,737
Well, you see, they acted...
542
00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:20,238
Look, they wanted equal rights,
543
00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,240
so we said fine, we give you equal
rights.
544
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,242
From now on we treat you just like
you were men.
545
00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:26,244
So we came down here to this
restaurant,
546
00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:28,246
we said give us separate checks to
the head waiter.
547
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,248
You know, I tell him the whole story.
548
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:32,250
So the head waiters come and gives us
separate checks.
549
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,251
They don't have any money to pay.
550
00:22:33,251 --> 00:22:34,753
I was in cahoots with the guy.
551
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:36,588
So he tells them, all right, you have
to wash the dishes.
552
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,006
To teach them a story
553
00:22:38,006 --> 00:22:39,508
we let them go here and wash the
dishes.
554
00:22:39,508 --> 00:22:41,460
Now they called the house, and just
to scare us
555
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,463
they tell us there is a couple of
bandits down here with guns
556
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:45,464
and they're holding us up.
557
00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:46,965
So he and I, we come down here
558
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:48,967
like a couple of jerks to save them,
559
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,470
and we realize there's no bandits
around in here.
560
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,472
So we said okay, we can't lose this
chance.
561
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:55,974
We put the handkerchiefs and the hats
and the stuff
562
00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:57,476
and we come in here with the gun,
563
00:22:57,476 --> 00:22:59,478
and it was, you know, just to scare
them,
564
00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:01,813
and that's all there was to it, for
goodness sakes.
565
00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:04,282
(laughing)
566
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:06,618
Isn't that right, honey?
567
00:23:06,618 --> 00:23:09,955
We never saw them before in our
lives.
568
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:14,793
(all yelling at once)
569
00:23:28,557 --> 00:23:29,975
All right you guys, stand up.
570
00:23:32,477 --> 00:23:33,428
The girls you held up
571
00:23:33,428 --> 00:23:34,930
want to take another look at you
572
00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:36,431
before they sign the complaint.
573
00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:37,933
This way, ladies.
574
00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:53,165
Mean looking, aren't they?
575
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:54,499
Yeah.
576
00:23:54,499 --> 00:23:56,451
Lucy...
577
00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:59,955
Fresh, too, calls me by my first
name.
578
00:23:59,955 --> 00:24:02,457
The young one isn't so bad looking.
579
00:24:03,925 --> 00:24:06,428
He has a certain amount of animal
charm.
580
00:24:06,428 --> 00:24:10,799
I guess this old shriveled up one is
his father.
581
00:24:13,768 --> 00:24:14,769
They're no good, lady.
582
00:24:14,769 --> 00:24:15,770
Anybody can see that.
583
00:24:15,770 --> 00:24:16,771
We'll all be better off
584
00:24:16,771 --> 00:24:18,273
if you could sign the complaint
585
00:24:18,773 --> 00:24:19,774
and we can put them away.
586
00:24:19,774 --> 00:24:21,276
Okay.
587
00:24:21,776 --> 00:24:22,777
Oh, wait a minute.
588
00:24:22,777 --> 00:24:24,779
Uh, you know, the more I look at him,
589
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,281
the cuter he gets.
590
00:24:26,281 --> 00:24:27,782
I wonder how he kisses.
591
00:24:27,782 --> 00:24:29,151
Kisses?
592
00:24:34,656 --> 00:24:35,991
Not bad.
593
00:24:35,991 --> 00:24:39,044
Wonder how grandpa kisses.
594
00:24:43,999 --> 00:24:45,000
Eh...
595
00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:50,972
Close your mouth and open the door.
596
00:25:00,182 --> 00:25:01,683
(giggling)
597
00:25:02,684 --> 00:25:04,186
Equal rights.
598
00:25:04,686 --> 00:25:06,188
Equal rights.
599
00:25:06,188 --> 00:25:07,689
Equal rights.
600
00:25:13,195 --> 00:25:15,163
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
601
00:25:15,163 --> 00:25:19,167
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
602
00:25:26,174 --> 00:25:28,677
ANNOUNCER: The maitre d' was played
by Lawrence Dobkin,
603
00:25:28,677 --> 00:25:30,679
and the policemen were Fred Aldrich,
Dick Reeves
604
00:25:30,679 --> 00:25:32,681
and Louis Nicoletti.
605
00:26:09,718 --> 00:26:12,671
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
606
00:26:12,671 --> 00:26:14,639
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
607
00:26:14,639 --> 00:26:16,908
will be back next week at this same
time.
608
00:26:18,777 --> 00:26:21,313
This is the CBS television network.
40220
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