All language subtitles for Hey! Is Dee Dee Home VO m-720p

it's called

chinese

oh well nevermind very dramatic

afternoon oh yeah oh i'm fine

thank you it's great you want to see

what i got i bought bro

this is it this is all right i don't

want anything else can you just win this

is very deep

this is great man and uh i also

brought like that green you know i'll

show you real quick like just like if

you like these pants better more ripped

okay i don't know okay this looks cool

though all right

you know i brought this t-shirt it's

like uh but i want this is my

favorite one i love this man now this is

like um

this is [ __ ] great i always age

strangler

i always liked this one and this one was

a good find that

men's it's not the jacket

one i got [ __ ] great man

[Music]

is

[Music]

if you could go to the health food store

and give me like an amino acid oxycontin

this is the only thing i got left from

bridges i stole it from her

um amino acid it's more bad

it's like an antibiotic thing it's like

um i'll write it down

because then they'll try and sell you

the amino acids and you're the one once

you have to do the oxygen

i'm healthy

[Music]

[Music]

you ready i'm quiet everybody in this

gonna be in

okay okay so our first movie is a

forward move okay am i moving on action

are we holding

you're holding waiting for your for your

okay it'll be a tail slate again okay

where's fuji does like a bluish greenish

equivalent of double x they're

[Music]

[Music]

and action hello um

well when um the new york doll

started like maybe uh six months before

they were playing

like um i think the musicians like that

hung

out in new york were like uh very into

fashion you know

like it was a competitive thing and the

dolls had the

look down the best i remember one night

i saw them at max's

and they were more like together maybe a

year

and they had a little more money or

something i don't know but i never will

forget that night

they had like all the um platform boots

that you had to have made

and then they had like stuff that other

people wouldn't really

think of putting in um with that like

they'd wear

their girlfriend's clothes you know

they'd get clothes anywhere

they would wear like shoes like this

like

you know tennis shoes but they'd have

big platforms on and i don't even think

they were denim

you know and robert god knows what they

were it was fun for everybody it was

like um something to do

and uh it made like all the music sound

better and more interesting and uh

richard hell like

uh started a lot of this look like he

cut his hair like a

johnny rotten type haircut the spiky one

and uh he was playing in a group called

television

which television had broke up at

about the same time i think the dolls

just broke up

the ramones were starting and uh richard

and johnny thunder started a band

with jerry nolan who also left the dolls

and he was like more my friend jerry but

you know they definitely

like we're one of the coolest groups and

i think that's the heartbreakers

dolls too but the heartbreakers are

really great now

i started hanging out the heartbreakers

and they started hanging out with me to

cop and shoot dope together

i hope you're finally ready because i

was getting angry

because i'd like to give a serious

message

message to the young people the young

kids

this is my message to the youth

children behave be good

to your listen to deedee and be

good we love you

[Music]

you know i i guess like

for me like um you know i've been

been there you know and um i made it

through it

like these are like what i got out of it

you know

i got my tracks they're gone you know i

don't have to shoot out no more

and i got my history on my arms

hello

douglas colvin and dean and

i have mother nature papa

[Music]

i had a casual friendship with johnny

thunders but i don't really couldn't say

i knew him

you know uh i may be towards the end of

the group yeah

and i can't remember if that was just

because i was in the ramones and we were

checking each other i don't know

but to make a long story short johnny

thunders and

jerry nolan and richard hell and

me i think we got like really close

through uh the dope all right you want

to start over

yeah i want to start over

the history of my tattoos like this was

the first one

i had had an argument with my mother

because

kesley died that was for dark side she

wanted me to go bury it with her

i got really mad she wanted to bury it

in flushing meadow park

and i had to go cop and i couldn't be

bothered

and anyway we got in a big argument

and i was in london i left like a couple

days later went to london

i didn't have seen my mother anyway i

think i wanted to show off that i was

going to london anyway that's why i

called i didn't even know about kessie

and i was so mad at her i went to the

tattoo guy

see this is to get this one i wanted to

get a tombstone with mother on it

he wouldn't do it and i don't know why

because he had every awful one you could

get anyway

right so this was that i was in total

terror i had to wait in a long line in

this little trailer

and it's either in camden or

portobello market something you know who

knows

and uh when i came home connie got

really pissed off because i didn't have

her name on it

and uh i can't win you know you know

we're gonna start dude yeah i'm ready

okay take a deep breath and uh quiet

everybody and um

[Music]

so you know um our our thing was like

party 24 hours a day

and especially on stage and uh

i think thunder's got uh famous for

being in a daze up there

and uh so i guess it's like you know we

were all misery addicts or we all wanted

to uh

create a lot of chaos so we have a

better excuse

there's always an excuse to do dope and

a depressing show was the best excuse

you know the show was always depressing

because we brought it upon ourselves

because you know

we didn't spend the money on clothes

anymore we spent on smack you know

how was that for you all right guys was

that all right

yes very good i had to fight vera for

every one of these

finally the psychiatrist dr yeager i

looked at him right in the eye in one of

our sessions and beer was there

and he said i know what you're thinking

i'm going to take her aside

and i said yeah you know so vera got in

the mercedes and drove me down to

amityville

i got this one which is the one i always

wanted

i don't know what she had against them

poor thing

it's my only friend i guess he never

complains

um this is a gordon smith and

it's like a bass it's like the same

idea um

it's easy this one's easy to keep going

i tried every kind you can get and um

now i have like a harmony neat meteor or

something

and i have a fender bass and this one

you're going to have another harmony

[Music]

and that's what i got because i like to

who i was like really getting involved

in like as a friend

a total dope friendship but it's also

because i really like admired him

because he was tough was jerry nolan

and i had an apartment well it wasn't

mine it was deborah harry and chris

stein's

apartment that they got on welfare and

uh they did it as a scheme to get a free

apartment

and i was living up there with tommy

ramon and we had a phone then

and jerry would call like every morning

like on clockwork and eddie and

you know let's go car and uh

you know we went through some some crazy

scenes like you know

running down the bowery and freezing you

know just

running and running with dope in our

hands and the police stopping us because

they thought we had just did a b

e you know we said no we didn't you know

and then um

i think i would even say no we're just

going to you know get high

you know so i don't know just i didn't

know why i was always in a daze i was so

casual about everything

even though i wasn't like openly

discussing it it was very obvious what i

was doing because i was always sleepy

no i would not do that with a child

i want a turtle and i want people to

even like um put a diaper on like

i don't know no really i i can't have

[Music]

you know a little kid that needed

so um

now these other ones i got are born to

race hell

and this is like survivor survive with

your pistol

all our drug habits had gotten very

serious um

they um were fueled by um

you know being in the bands and like

having like

living in an illusion and uh just you

know wanting to have something to do

really that was what we did and um

it just went along with the territory it

wasn't anything we thought was anything

wrong with it

we thought we should be doing it and it

was

our that's just what we did it was

normal and that it was not normal

not to do it now i want to have

something to do

yeah i want to see some glue it's really

a frustrating uh

it's really just a frustrating thing you

know

because there was nothing else to do

that just says sniff glue

what's we got something better to do now

[Applause]

what do you want me to say i want all

the kids to go drink ammonia or

something

yeah i don't want him to do that one day

i got so rebellious i escaped from the

bear

we had like six hours off and i went

down

to mark saint and portobello and i got

like six

and i got two more on the sneak i came

home with like eight of them

and vera like just flipped man i think

she left

for a while i couldn't even find her you

know usually

she was very secretive you know she was

shot you know she wouldn't dare tell me

where she was going right when she saw

those tattoos she didn't say a word she

said

later dude oh fiora

well i had a turtle but the maid opened

the door to

the room and it walked out oh my god and

chelsea

it was like um about two months ago so

my pets was here for a while

um sparky he's trained

too i put a blue light and when i put it

on it blew around

in the room and turned it down i didn't

race around the room you know

you know like johnny thunders was like

really demanding i remember

richard and i uh had went to cop

and we didn't know john was coming over

i think he was just waiting there or

something right

had nothing to do with any of our plans

that day

and richard and i had had a heart i

guess what could would have been

considered a hard time but i don't know

it didn't phase us

we were coming out of a hallway and it's

like lunatic bursting there threw a

karate kick and held a knife

up and i said man that's no way to do it

i mean you know

kick a guy with sneakers come on you

know skinny little guy we just pushed

him out of the way and walked out the

door but somehow i got caught

you know i just tell myself and we

walked in

and got high and that was it later on

the heartbreakers played and i think

uh richard said this song is like

dedicated d

chinese rocks because it got cut today

and that was it you know

it was no big deal it's just part of

life then but we go upstairs and um

we were obviously a bit draped you know

we didn't want to go back down there

and john was there and he was like

complaining oh give us some dog give us

some more dope i said

no no no no and he wouldn't like uh

take the hint i said go get it yourself

you know

and um he said uh no you know uh

he was like demanding it like he had

like seniority

in the uh click there or something you

know he was the top guy

and i wasn't going for that then because

i was like dede ramone now

you know i said this is like really rude

of the sky you know

treat me like this order me to go get

the dope i'll get it if i want to and if

i don't i won't

so finally i was like draining i said

john why the hell would i go get some

dope for you right

now you know and he said well so you

have the privilege of hanging out with a

rock star

you know so yeah i think that's why i

left them

turning blue in a bathtub once you know

just you know i put them in there

i think i might have forgot i don't know

there's all these bathtub stories you

know

[Applause]

i think that's that something like one

of his songs

this is like too tough to die

i put that on there when i really wanted

to live that is his song i can't put you

i'm around them

well you know i hope everybody remembers

him

but john i i would just avoid him from

then on

but he did come over to an apartment

i had on 10th street where i was living

with my girlfriend

and uh you know like

she she turned blue too so i i just

threw her in the bathtub

and i forgot about it you know and um so

we all got high and

and uh i think all the girls really were

hoping they could go out with johnny

thunders he was like the one they wanted

and

probably her too i got the message clear

because when i was in she just like

stood up out of the bathtub her hair all

like

wet and you know frantic looking and she

said what happened why did you put me in

here and on i said i don't know

i said i forgot you were in here even

and she said well who was here you know

i saw jerry and john she said johnny

thunders

and i said yeah you know then she said

well how could you put me in the bathtub

when he was you know

oh man i'm leaving i'm gonna cop some

dope

and i was like my life and even though

i'd been doing

the dope for like a long i hate to say

how

young i started um i

didn't realize i was addicted until

around that period

and joey and i were living in a

loft on 62nd street right by cbg because

i was freezing and i made joey move in

there and then i stole his tv and he

just sat there you know

you know [ __ ] you know and i i didn't

you know i admit to it i told him i had

gotten it repaired

but um i just didn't get enough money

for that tv like i thought i would and i

only could get a bag of dope

it's two bags i don't even care what i

got i just want to get something that

day

and i started getting sick and then i

said well you know i'm gonna kick you

know

but of course like you know 30 hours

later my girlfriend came by and

you need some doves i know okay you know

and that was like um why i think none of

us had a chance

um that's baby doll that was the era

and um this one

i had done different like i just had the

letters like it would have been

carved on a school desk but then later

vera said once you

have it made pretty so i did that for

her

and um i don't know i don't know

yeah the only thing you have is the

filthy let me just check the gig while

i'm here

like i said like it was party party

party and party on stage you know party

off stage

and uh you know a typical

like heartbreakers show definitely

didn't revolve around a sound check and

a set list it involved him like going to

cop in the afternoon

and setting it up so when you got paid

after this show you had to deal it in

you could get high all night

if you were lucky you know i had it

rough because i was like kind of being

monitored and stood up to

so i definitely want to go to a

heartbreaker's gig to party you know i

could really party then

and like a typical one would be at max's

and all hell would have broken rooster

in the afternoon you sell a guitar

you know sell the tv steal your

girlfriends to anything you know

and get the dope and take an advance

from the club owner

so you probably broke anyway when after

you got through playing to pay for all

the dope

you know like if you play like at max's

because the heartbreakers there

one good thing is we all drank so um

like the tommy dean was always good for

a case of champagne

probably per person you know and that

you could entice people up there and get

them drunk and then take their dope when

they were passed out and take it out of

their pocket

and that you know that was like one of

the techniques beating people you know i

go get john

a few bags of dope of course i'd take a

little out and

put it back together put some oatmeal in

there

well it was the chinese rocks it was the

brown dough

and uh you know that's how it got the

name you know

chinese rocks because it was brown and

it was supposed to come

from mexico which it didn't really it

was a

cover-up uh you know a diversion

technique it was still coming from the

orient

and uh so you know

the word chinese rocks kind of became

famous you know even though there was

like all the different names for the

dope

um it was all called you know brand

names what it was all like referred to

as chinese rocks

and it came in like a nice like red

tinfoil very sophisticated um

wrapper and on christmas it came in

christmas tree

uh christmas wrapping paper and uh

things like that you know for the

holiday a little special treat

this is great excuse me where's the

bathroom here

right there dude

right there

this is my dragon

um i i'm very identified with dragons

like being playful

and uh you know

and um

[Music]

yeah yeah all right i'll just really

think about think about this

no i i think there's a lot in this

heroin hysteria all right you guys ready

but to write chinese rocks i got the

idea from richard hell

richard like was i guess you know still

like uh

thinking about music a little you know

for me when i wrote i don't know how i

what made me write you know we were very

competitive i was very jealous of him

because he had that haircut and i'd have

the bold haircut

and you know i think uh the english

groups were coming out with richard's

look and it was really

looking cool and i was stuck you know so

we were competitive

maybe it was like a silent type of

secretive competit competition but it

was definitely there

we were hostile to each other but once

in a while we'd talk

and one day richard said to me i want to

write a song better than lou reed's

heroine

so i said you know i'm gonna you know i

just went home wrote chinese rocks

and um i don't

remember oh yeah i did play it for

johnny ramon he said no way you know

we're not doing that so it's about dope

i said john we sing about everything

else you know you sing about sniffing

glue and um he said we don't sniff glue

anymore i said well

how do you know you know i don't know

what you're doing you don't know what

i'm doing you know we don't hang out

and he said well look we're not doing

the song it sounds like commando or

something

and i didn't know it did so jerry

by then i think debbie had thrown me out

of her apartment because

i had like pissed in the hallway because

i was drunk and couldn't find my keys

and then

my my girlfriend was very dysfunctional

and came up the stores the stairs and

was yelling at me and

there's a big commotion and someone ran

out of the apartment and i think

she she uh hit him or something you know

she probably had a horseshoe in her

purse i don't know what you know she

always had some weapon on her you know

i got this couple scars to prove it and

uh

you know so i had to move out of that

apartment after that one night

it was back on 10th street with that

other girl that had

that i think johnny thunders pushed her

in the bathtub that

i don't remember it was her fault his

fault not mine

and uh i was living there you know jerry

came over they had a cop you know with

me

and it was real convenient because it

was right on 10th street where we used

to go

and i started playing him the song you

know and he liked it and

that was the last i heard of it until

i think they started doing it i think uh

the way it changed was like from what i

can remember is like richard wrote

um it should have been rich i

i i'm just digging a chinese ditch

that's it you know this one's called

chinese rock

[Music]

do you want to take a walk do you want

to go

[Music]

all my best things

and um this one uh valerie myers did on

me she's like

an artist she lives in the chelsea hotel

and she did it before i was going to

rehearsal once and she was taking

a long time everybody got upset but i

was very flattered that she would do it

she's very

like an ancient soul and she did her

tattoos on her eyes and

all over her and they're like some kind

of probably some kind of

weird thing knowing val you know they

must mean something

well about chinese rocks now so

because of that song a lot of

aggravation and hatred started i started

like really getting aggravated with

thunders uh

later about it though at first i was

like flattered

that they did the song and i did give it

to him and i wanted him to do it

but when it came out in on that record

it said

of jerry nolan and richard hill and

johnny thunders and dede ramone i said

wait a minute

it still didn't bother me because i

didn't really know any better but johnny

ramone got on my case about it and said

how did you let this happen i said what

are you talking about i said

you told me you didn't want the song

that it was like disgusting

to sing about smack and i said i know it

is and i agree with you and i said

that's why we're not doing it i said who

cares who does it

but of course you know um i

i did i was just faking it you know i

really i after he said i said oh man you

know

this is like a jet because it had

nothing to do with money it was like

prestige you know

it kind of like became prestige to do

that song the ramones never

felt it you know when they they recorded

it with phil spector

and it came well actually i don't even

know what happened on that album because

i went to the studio one day and they

said well john you know

john's just stepped out for a minute i

got a call or someone got a call like 10

minutes later android said i'm going to

the airport now i'll see you guys

so like mark and i sat there in the days

and then like two hours later

we snuck away too we went back to new

york and somehow the song was on the

record

later but um when it came out in england

you know i was

i was happy about it you know i had no

concept of

royalties or anything and i i think i

was the only lucky one who got mine

anyway the other guys had a hard way to

go

and uh but later on

that johnny thunder's autobiography came

out and he said in there

if instead of saying anything about me

writing it

um like uh he said everybody in new york

said they wrote the song

and i said man i'd like to kill this guy

you know i really

i really hate him now you know and he

was really annoying

and i was running from everybody i like

i ran from sid like

at 78 i was trying to give up dope

it was just too hard because i had to

work every night

and i couldn't get it and i had to

always be so i just couldn't

deal with it anymore you know i didn't

even really know it was wrong i just was

uncomfortable

but um you know i was upset that john

said

that and didn't give me credit but it

was like typical of him

you know that's the way he was i should

have accepted it

but i started like uh doing what richard

hell did you know i would just distance

myself from everyone

you know and um john was uncomfortable

with me and

you know we'd see each other on and off

maybe in england or somewhere like i saw

him in

uh in 1976 uh

crazy party you know in july there in

london

and i don't want to get into that it's

like insanity you know

chinese rock star

[Applause]

and then what else could i say

i don't know dede ramon here and it's

like a dead man's hand

and it's like five aces you get that i

think wait

one two three four yeah you get that uh

hand and that's not a normal hand to get

in the game

and you know then you know they know

you're cheating

and uh you get killed for that

in like in the old days i guess and you

know

wherever they had those like gambling

places

um uh god only knows where they are now

on 14th street

[Music]

chinese

is

[Music]

[Music]

all right basically tell the whole

like daily life of someone like me or

or anyone that was in that scene in new

york then it's like basically

you know you want to go get some chinese

rock and then

you say well everything is in the pawn

shop because that was the

way you got it or you had like a go go

dance or girlfriend

and that stuff you know and then she'd

come in to give you the money and you

get it for her and you or your pals

would give you money and you'd rip them

off

and all and um i guess that's where john

learned that stuff

uh-oh but um

so you know then like um the part about

my girlfriend's crying in the shower

stall

um that was about connie she used to

just go in the loft in the shower store

and cry

you know and um about the whole thing

and then she'd like um you know flip a

little

eventually i got joey's tv back somehow

and uh i remember she uh started

flipping

and uh this is like right around the

time

uh i just written chinese rocks no i was

getting the idea from it about her about

her breakdowns

and she she just didn't know what to do

to upset everyone that day

so she took joey's tv and said i'm going

to smash this and throw it out the

window and everything

and i said oh man do what you want you

know joey just didn't say word he was

just disgusted he wanted to watch his tv

already and

he was like fed up and so then she she

realized i didn't care about the tv so

she uh

pulled out a butcher knife out of her

purse and um

so i just like uh somehow i got lucky

that day

i just by a miracle i just reached over

here and there's a broom

i don't know where that and i just like

smacked it out of hand

somehow and i booked you know i ran down

the stairs

my dear life and uh i went to go cop but

i thought i'd make her happy

and i got stabbed that day i came home

all bloody

and uh then we made up you know because

we had a perfect excuse to do

more dope and she came home that night

six hundred dollars

uh-oh so you know we went uh

down to like where um johnny and

richard and you know and jerry and i

would

probably usually get off at richard

hell's house and stuff

and we copped like some bundles which i

hadn't gotten since before the french

connection when they were only 24

hours there were two dollars each the

bags and i think you could make

there was like somehow three extras so

you could make you know

six dollars out of it if you spent

everybody selling for three dollars to

the squares because it was hard to cop

you know

it was like risky and uh

you know this goes on and on all these

like crazy dope stories i can go in

to one after the other you know

okay i'll show you what's happened to me

after all these years in the music

business

[Music]

and i don't know what else do i have

here these these were my

my uh concept of the ramones and of

course i put my skull on top

wasn't the case but it was my illusion

and this one i i put born to win

and uh hello everybody

[Applause]

[Music]

uh yesterday was my birthday it makes me

like 52

now it's funny i don't know if i should

like go into this now because it's

later towards when um about three years

ago when i saw john again you know you

learn these defenses

against uh who's doing it or not you

know like you know if you go into

apartment you see no spoons in the

kitchen you know something's wrong you

know you

and um relating to that the last

the time i forgave thunders and then he

came up to my apartment and

we were going to write some songs and

he said do you have any silverware so i

said oh sure you know and

he comes out 20 minutes later i was off

dope then

and um i said uh what were you doing

here you got high right and he said yeah

you know

and i said man you got to go you got to

leave now john you know i can't like be

around this now

and uh you know later on i figured out

that's why you wanted silverware because

i saw this

red spoon there it really i was the

start of my downfall i went outside

downstairs and

i bought a pack of camels and i was like

totally clean

and that just started my relapse i ended

up back on dope

um i was on it for about nine

10 11 months and then i went on them had

to go on a methadone which i'd never

been on

and i think the methadone led to

everybody's downfall

definitely the mine you know i guess it

was good it toughened me up but i don't

know how thunder survived at all

i just don't know how that guy kept

going like he did

i know where he got his strength

and uh but that's life you know that all

that stuff came along with the territory

and that's what we were glorifying and

uh

it ended up being like an albatross

around my neck

and uh that chinese chinese rock song

was always a pain in the ass

because uh i feel like now it's like

really you know

99 better but i feel like i became like

some kind of heroin guru and i

like some band would like say oh you

want to check us out and all they start

playing chinese rocks you know

but the thing that really freaked me out

and made me leave new york which

probably saved my life

last may was after thunders died

that thing at the continental divide

where i walked in with mark

brady my friend and uh we saw

a band playing chinese rocks and they

had a person who looked

i was a dead ringer for johnny thunders

in 1972 or something like i don't even

know the year

when he was at his height in the dark

the whole gear that he would wear

and he was singing that chinese rock so

i almost had a nervous breakdown

oh man yeah so i left

and uh so that's you know that's what

dope is about like misery

[Applause]

hello

i

[Applause]

i

right

then i got these scorpions and

uh the guy who did these told me um

boy d you know that's kind of gonna hurt

they're on your ribs and you have to sit

there for six

hours and have the needle hit your bone

and i was like really worried you know

so out of spite i went there and i

didn't flinch i sat there for six hours

and i just sat there

like i think he always tells that story

he says you know dede came in here

well what else was i going to cry about

you

we know nothing of it we thought nothing

of uh

what we took from people um the abuse we

put our friends through

and uh just didn't matter as long as we

got dope

you know and um

you know but the thing is like i don't

think i'd ever write an anti-dope song

you know i'm not going to tell anybody

to do it or not to do

it's your problem if you do it you know

you got to go through it

i realized you you know with addicts uh

i would never enable one i'm not going

to take a stance on it one way or the

other

i just say if you do it you know it's

like that old saying

you play you're going to pay and uh

you want to be that type of rock star so

bad to do that

i guess you got to do it i never

understood how i

fought you know but i noticed like every

one of my tattoos has the claw

you know on it and i guess it's like

sort of like that dragon thing you know

like um instead of punching somebody you

can like like the claw

you know and all that which i don't do

but if you're a musician i guess it

saves your hands you know but i i call

this like

sharpening the claws like playing my

guitar

because let's see this thing plays by

itself listen

uh-oh

drugs see and um

um like how you why they sharpen the

claws i guess to crush somebody's head

up like they do in the karate movies

they have to like

[Applause]

i call this one douglas not john because

i'm driving with mom because

he just don't like to play you wanna

make us some bacon and eggs

all right

don't know what exactly went wrong in

our lives but everybody

everybody has been totally misbehaved

it should be put in prison

especially a few that i like to not even

mention

your name it's been so awful i'm just

going to make breakfast now

and hope that land out the cat here

can stay level it doesn't run off

tonight into the castle

go to stan landau no more

you wouldn't talk to the cats on the

street like you just talked to me

but i don't appreciate it no more fancy

please

that's it no more marijuana you're

getting cabinet

you're too crazy look at these skinny

bones

you stay in one night

all i know you won't right

you just get away till i go to sleep

i think in 1988 or something like that i

left the ramones

and i saw john again and it wasn't

really so bad even though that he got

off in my bathroom the usual you know

all the silverware was going you know i

i kind of got an inkling that it might

have started a relapse which would have

probably happened anyway

but something about that really set me

off you know

and i started you know really realizing

i could never be around

thunders again okay so now we're going

to the periscope

and give you some surprises on that

story this is the end

i need some heaviness to put the guitar

away okay

about you know maybe six months or so

after i left the ramones

um i got a call from paris from steve

bayer's

and uh he said you want to come over and

play in a band with uh some guy chris

from the godfathers and uh

on guitar and a guy vom on drums and

stiff singing me on bass

and during the course of the

conversation he said john said you want

to say hello to him

and i got i was very firm and very

direct

to the point i said i cannot talk to

john and um

you know i didn't really know the

situation i didn't know that he crashed

at their place at bader's and carol's

house

and uh because uh before the you know a

year before that

stiff it had like totally negative

things to say about

thunders so you know i was shocked that

um

stiff had him at his house and all but i

made it clear to him you know

we did end the discussion on the phone

and we had a lot of others

that i would go to paris with my girl my

ex-girlfriend laura

and my ex management company

i thought it was a good idea and uh

but it was all out in the open that i

would uh not

go uh to play with johnny thunders or i

would not even go in the house if he was

there

so you know i end up in paris steven

carroll picked me and laura up at the

airport we drive over to the house and

he's sitting there

all depressed total misery addict

and my heart went out to him i mean he

was just so sad

you know and i was shocked you know i

hadn't realized how

bad you could end up you know i guess i

had it really good and

and i was really well taken care of and

uh these guys like really

you know were in bad shape like stiff

started telling me right away let's all

go to sleep now

because we want to get on a day schedule

so we can like

feel not depressed and walk around the

daytime and he said we should take like

some sleeping pills so we'll get a good

sleep

well i gave all mine to laura you know i

um she had learned probably from vera

what to do and vera gave it all to tell

her to all the

the the tricks how to handle dede and i

was cooperating and i gave her

everything you know and have nobody ever

got up anymore

and uh then all the craziness started

you know there's like really serious

evil vibes in this place

and uh steve baders is a very psychic

person and he was like very in touch

with

um i guess the spirit world

he was like i don't know if this is true

or i'm saying but uh

he made suggestions of satanic uh

messages being sent there and

i i asked him about the constant cold in

the place and he said that was a sign of

it

you know that the devil was in the house

and i sure believed it you know and i

know he was there

if if the [ __ ] thing could happen then

it would have definitely happened then

and uh it's really weird what was going

on you know

and uh the the heroin

use wasn't bothering me steven uh carol

i don't think we're doing

it and um stiff was like um

i couldn't figure him out because i

didn't see him doing any drugs but

all he would do is have like one drink

every night and he said they get loaded

on it you know and i thought it was the

pills and i don't think he was really

taking those pills

either i think i found out later he had

like no

liver then then he couldn't get up

because if he had a drink it like

kill him off for three days and uh

um we uh laura and i

you know laura was really worried

because and then she was like losing it

too because like everything was being

stolen

you know and um

i carol was supposedly running the

household and

there was like a lot of like uh people

like coming in the house very outlaw

types social deviants you know the usual

and uh we were thinking that they might

always took

everything and i had no money and i had

bought uh

my spend my last time to get there on

top everything else i bought laura like

a

expensive watch at the airport and that

was gone she was like pissed you know we

asked carol

you know what happened she said well the

maid took it so once yes

made where it is you know and all no

help on anything

just like she was obviously in love with

johnny thunders and stiff was taking the

brunt of it and that you know just

fueled everything insaner

and it kind of came i know i'm leaving

out a lot here

um maybe i'd better too you

so laura and i were stranded we could

not use the phone

we did not know how to get around we

tried to escape

we made it out of the house one day and

we went down to pick out

on the subway and the first thing we saw

there was like

um a boss and two enforcers kidnapped a

guy right on the street

and i was thinking what is this guy on

you know because he kept falling down

and then i knew because they started

wrapping their fists on the car

windows i knew they had knuckle dusters

on and they were going to um

you know collect we watched as they took

him around the alley and worked him over

and uh probably killed him and uh

you know this this is like just like

what was going on you know

and the reason i'm like saying this it's

like just something like out of uh

you know uh one of these horror movies

where they they see like you know dogs

that turn satanic everywhere you look

you know

if there's a statue it'll turn into a uh

insane mummy you know and

attack you you know everywhere we saw

there was violence

but um basically the the end of it

um evolved like a long drive

out into the country to supposedly

record where we drove for like 20 hours

there and back john could not cop he

drove me crazy i was really getting

aggravated

he got out in some alley before we even

left paris it took three hours to look

for hash and uh

you know even i like i was a serious

hash smoke i said man i'm fed up let's

just get out of here

and i knew it you know we were promised

the hash when we got to the studio and

it wasn't even there

and then i just lost it you know i was

really getting demented

and i was just storing it up and uh

i might have yelled a lot though that

well i think i didn't

you know i think laura like was like uh

i was like trying to you know calm me

down

but i was losing it i admit it

and we got back to their place and the

hallway was dark and we crawled up the

stairs and

uh this luxury like penthouse like

apartment all the way up there in the

dark

it didn't make it nice when i got up

there and you know it just seemed like

like the devil was right in there now

thunders was playing

a solo show at jibby's in paris

the next night and i think he was

leaving the

the next morning and uh he had packed

everything before the show and

laura and i didn't want to go but uh

carol insisted

to the point of where i could not find

my coat

and it was a coke that had a like a big

history like jerry and

nola and i had sought at the same time

this is like years and years ago

and we we had it out almost over there

caught you know i don't know what's what

was with this coat but

you know it was always causing a fight

and um

so carol was insisting that i go to

jibby's without

my coat it was dead of winter and she's

oh just come just come downstairs you

know

she works herself up hysterically so you

cannot

communicate with her and there was a

definitely a lack of communication

because

i could not explain to her that at that

point i was like drug free

i didn't want to go um to jibby's where

every junkie in paris would be there

because you know

a little play down on that i i wanted to

see john i wanted to go

out but i couldn't go out on top of

everything without my call

so they just left us eventually i don't

know how we got out of going

and i think she did come back and get us

but by that time you know i just thought

oh man

john must be stealing everything open

his suitcase and there was my coat

now i think i might have misjudged who

was doing stealing

you know and uh maybe thunder's like uh

put it in there he definitely just

stealing it but may you know i could see

it at being a little more

thunderish than uh

careless you know and uh

so i was pissed yeah and uh

i uh you know i can't remember

uh one day from the other i remember

that show i remember i played that night

and i listened to what carol said about

music

i like uh definitely was the best

received you know that evening and uh

john was like really angry and wouldn't

even take pictures with us backstage

because we're all

taking like disgusting pictures back

there and we're having a lot of fun he

didn't want to have any fun he was all

pissed off and i don't even know why

you know we were treating him so good

spending like a hundred dollars a day on

that guy to let him smoke ass

just because we felt sorry for him

because he was so sad about breaking up

with his wife and that's the thing that

was flipping him out

and uh it had been like two years or a

year already he was still upset

and uh he seemed very vulnerable and you

wouldn't want to hurt this guy

you know it's just like kicking a puppy

to death or something you know if you

would have

it was a bad scene you know um

i better think about what i'm saying

you know i wanted to kill them all

you know i definitely wanted to kill

laura john

carol anyone and

i was worried about it and uh because uh

i was always just just getting out of

getting nicked

in any way by the skin of my teeth just

just being deedy you know

and then they told me before the kids

that this

tattoo means like [ __ ] the police in

french and they beat the hell out of me

you know every day

and so man you know i couldn't even take

a good yelling at at this point i'm so

nervous

you know i would have just broken down

into it oh

i'm finished all right i don't have

nothing left

and uh you know i didn't know how to

take it

you know i don't know if i'm getting too

direct to the point i don't want to

what uh brought this all upon this i

think it's like really things that

shouldn't be talked about i was like

um not instigating these things i was

trying to uh

get through it and there was no way and

of course i'm

i am dede and i i'm gonna uh

act out too right i'm far from perfect

and i was saying how can i settle this

you know

how can i [ __ ] say i just sat them

all down there

and i put like uh four

stilettos on the table i had one

i said let's go for it you know no make

a move

and uh laura was like just ice man

and i sat there and i said you know

i realized it wasn't much of a fight

it was it was like weird you know i

couldn't get any satisfaction

nothing i could do i mean they're all

these like little skinny guys

and these two girls or whatever i don't

know you know i said well how am i gonna

take this you know what am i gonna do

you know the lord just said let's get

out of town you know

i said how the hell can we get out of

here we don't even know how to use the

phone i want you dead too

because you drove me crazy wouldn't give

me a break on this man

i said [ __ ] the watch [ __ ] all of it you

know

i said i've i've like had it you know i

just don't give a damn

but you you know you got this like

respecting with your girlfriend and i

didn't know she was right you know

i think she was right it was like street

justice

that's the only kind we knew and uh

so you know we settled it a different

way which i'm not gonna get into

and um i don't know how i've survived it

i've had to go through through the

extreme i came back from paris with the

heroin habit again

it kicked my ass at my age i was very

broken down

there's no way i could uh be doing dope

i i just

i don't think i could really do it i

think i'd do it for like three or four

days

and break down like just so bad i

couldn't even like leave

the house to cop anyway and i then i

just

wait a couple weeks and do it again and

i got arrested twice

when i went to jail i realized it wasn't

tough enough to be there anymore

um no way i just couldn't take it the

police were following me

like i uh just you know clowning with me

having a great time you know new york

police department okay

you know thanks a lot you know that's

justice you know

[ __ ] you guys um and uh

you know it but whatever

you know you can always make something

good out of something bad and i

i did you know i i always like use that

um slogan to myself you know that um

sobriety is the best revenge and uh

i started my uh trying to get off the

dock

and i went on the methadone program and

uh i

ran and i ran around and now i got like

six months off

and uh my other friends are all dead

okay

no you can't change these

they're permanent and um it's like if

you want to be outlaw forever then go

get them

you know if you don't i don't know i

think some of the real

like some people i've seen like they

don't get them over

here like they just then they have a

shirt on it but

i don't know i think if you got it you

know then

do it there definitely you can't get one

tattoo

you know you're gonna have to get

another one

this is like shooting dope that's

probably why i got them

you know one extreme to the other i

don't think i'm gonna get any more

though

probably though okay

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

footage

is

[Music]

i figure like that out for the newman um

stuff what me worry at this point are

you kidding

as long as i don't have a smack habit i

don't have to drink

um that's my business uh oh

so you know

i don't go by uh what your parents

or what anybody of an authority would be

telling you to do you know me

i believe in like um outlaw you know

that's like

pretty much says it all and one thing i

liked about john

is i think he felt like outlaw too

because you could tell like from a lot

in his later

day uh gary is wearing he's wearing like

uh

hideout technique things so because he

knew he's against the law

and he would wear like um those uh arab

type

headdresses that cover his face and just

peek his eyes out you know

that's a little sneaky because then if

he

ever did do something bad he could say

well how do you know it was me

you know i i mean you know you didn't

see me right i had a long rain coat on

and my face was covered

and you couldn't see my hair nothing

except my eyes

and um that's a laugh to me

but you know

i think that's the right way to go

more like a maoist type society now you

know where

you know it's like a different kind of

revolution now than i had i don't know

if you can be yourself you need to be on

a team

running the game

[Applause]