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1
00:00:00,185 --> 00:00:02,421
And it's been almost a year,
okay?
2
00:00:02,547 --> 00:00:04,572
It is beyond time that
they reboot "Spider-Man" again.
3
00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:06,133
Yeah, you're right.
I love it.
4
00:00:06,218 --> 00:00:07,469
But who can replace
Tom Holland?
5
00:00:07,554 --> 00:00:09,229
I'll tell you who...
That little magical cutie,
6
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,814
that Harry Potter.
7
00:00:10,898 --> 00:00:12,086
Daniel Radcliffe?
Yeah.
8
00:00:12,171 --> 00:00:13,236
He's already
in a franchise.
9
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,943
You can't just swing
from franchise to franchise.
10
00:00:15,027 --> 00:00:17,320
Then why do I have to see
Chris Pratt everywhere? It's okay.
11
00:00:17,404 --> 00:00:20,031
No, I want a thicc Spider-Man,
like 50 Cent.
12
00:00:20,115 --> 00:00:22,408
Should be Black anyways.
Costume got a built-in durag.
13
00:00:22,492 --> 00:00:24,619
Well, if they do go
with a Black actor,
14
00:00:24,703 --> 00:00:28,706
I hope they go with
that Mr. Brian Austin Green.
15
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:32,252
I'm so proud of that young man
and all of his success.
16
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:33,962
Uh...
Tuh-tuh-tuh!
17
00:00:34,046 --> 00:00:35,964
So, there are a bunch
of white celebrities
18
00:00:36,048 --> 00:00:38,216
who Barbara thinks are Black.
19
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:41,386
Like, Brian Austin Green
would be Brian Tyree Henry.
20
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:44,055
Ooh, I see you,
little Carrie Underwood.
21
00:00:44,139 --> 00:00:45,140
Good morning.
22
00:00:45,224 --> 00:00:46,224
Kerry Washington.
23
00:00:46,308 --> 00:00:47,851
I'm going straight home,
24
00:00:47,935 --> 00:00:50,335
put on a little
Millie Bobby Brown.
25
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:51,896
Bobby Brown.
26
00:00:51,980 --> 00:00:53,356
No one's done more
for Black actors
27
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,320
than Tommy Lee Jones.
28
00:00:55,875 --> 00:00:57,068
James Earl Jones.
29
00:00:57,152 --> 00:00:59,362
And we just let her
keep thinking that.
30
00:00:59,446 --> 00:01:00,363
It's easier.
31
00:01:00,447 --> 00:01:01,865
And if they go
with a woman,
32
00:01:01,949 --> 00:01:05,159
you cannot go wrong
with the splendid,
33
00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:08,079
the wonderful
Michelle Williams.
34
00:01:08,163 --> 00:01:09,205
Mm-mm-mm!
35
00:01:09,289 --> 00:01:12,333
Now, that is one
talented diva.
36
00:01:12,417 --> 00:01:15,044
Mm, yes.
Mm-hmm.
37
00:01:15,128 --> 00:01:17,338
She is arguably the third best
child of Destiny.
38
00:01:17,422 --> 00:01:20,133
And all the way
to the Academy Awards
39
00:01:20,217 --> 00:01:22,218
from "Dawson's Creek."
40
00:01:22,302 --> 00:01:24,596
Oh, yes, Michelle.
Mm.
41
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,930
So close.
42
00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:27,648
Maker's "Hold'em" playing...
43
00:01:27,732 --> 00:01:29,732
*ABBOTT'S ELEMENTARY*
Season 02 Episode 02
44
00:01:29,816 --> 00:01:31,625
Episode Title: "Wrong Delivery"
Aired on: September 28, 2022.
45
00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:37,017
[♪♪]
46
00:01:38,193 --> 00:01:39,903
Summer's
supposed to be over.
47
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:41,279
Are we sure
this AC is on?
48
00:01:41,363 --> 00:01:43,948
Oh, it is on, but that thing
is older than Mr. Johnson.
49
00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:45,992
Yeah, and they both
have emphysema.
50
00:01:46,076 --> 00:01:47,660
This is
last year's calendar.
51
00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:48,786
No!
[ Coughs ]
52
00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:49,829
[ Coughs ]
53
00:01:49,913 --> 00:01:51,664
And that is why
we had that up there.
54
00:01:51,748 --> 00:01:54,167
Yeah, now put it back.
It's a load-bearing calendar.
55
00:01:54,251 --> 00:01:56,336
Maybe we can use some of
the grant money to fix that.
56
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,546
We already decided that
we were gonna use that money
57
00:01:58,630 --> 00:01:59,923
for cleaning supplies.
58
00:02:00,007 --> 00:02:01,925
This school
is just filthy.
59
00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:03,718
Are my ears burning?
Huh?
60
00:02:03,802 --> 00:02:06,054
Mm.
61
00:02:06,138 --> 00:02:07,430
You know what?
62
00:02:07,514 --> 00:02:09,432
I respect Barbara and her
lil' daughter Taylor too much
63
00:02:09,516 --> 00:02:10,808
to hit on you publicly.
64
00:02:10,892 --> 00:02:12,561
Nice arms, though.
65
00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:17,899
Me and Taylor?
66
00:02:17,983 --> 00:02:20,026
Oh, um, it's... it's fine.
67
00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,694
It's okay.
68
00:02:21,778 --> 00:02:23,655
It's a bit of
an awkward situation.
69
00:02:23,739 --> 00:02:27,242
You know that saying, don't,
you know, where you eat?
70
00:02:27,326 --> 00:02:30,078
They should also say, don't
do that where her mother eats.
71
00:02:30,162 --> 00:02:32,080
Okay, which one of y'all ordered
this big stack
72
00:02:32,164 --> 00:02:33,248
of social studies books?
73
00:02:33,332 --> 00:02:36,542
Ooh! Oh, my goodness,
they're only a few years old.
74
00:02:36,626 --> 00:02:38,253
Oh, my God,
they have Brexit!
75
00:02:38,337 --> 00:02:40,588
And the Flint water crisis.
And "Hamilton."
76
00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,173
These aren't for
Abbott Elementary.
77
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:44,676
They're for
Addington Elementary.
78
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,719
Oh, the school
down the street?
79
00:02:46,803 --> 00:02:48,221
New books...
One of the perks
80
00:02:48,305 --> 00:02:50,056
of turning into
a charter school.
81
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:51,224
They went charter
and went up.
82
00:02:51,308 --> 00:02:54,477
From 2012 Khloé K
to 2022 Khloé K like that.
83
00:02:54,561 --> 00:02:55,853
Unrecognizable.
84
00:02:55,937 --> 00:02:58,189
I heard they got a lot
of good stuff over there.
85
00:02:58,273 --> 00:03:00,525
Well, that building was made by
the same World War II architect
86
00:03:00,609 --> 00:03:02,610
as this one,
so can't be that great.
87
00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:04,070
Why don't we
walk over there
88
00:03:04,154 --> 00:03:06,948
and find out for ourselves
during lunch?
89
00:03:07,032 --> 00:03:08,324
Need to get my steps in,
90
00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:10,451
and it's closer
to the cheese steak spot...
91
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:11,661
Another perk.
92
00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:15,373
Only like a block closer,
but, yeah, let's do it.
93
00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:17,208
Well, y'all have fun.
94
00:03:17,292 --> 00:03:18,543
I'll be here at work,
working.
95
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:22,089
What? My followers aren't
gonna influence themselves.
96
00:03:25,092 --> 00:03:26,467
Ooh,
do y'all feel that?
97
00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:29,095
That is some good AC.
98
00:03:29,179 --> 00:03:30,638
They got a young
Mr. Johnson.
99
00:03:30,722 --> 00:03:31,806
W...
Hi.
100
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:34,183
These walls,
the paint's not chipped.
101
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,853
And they have color.
Do you smell that?
102
00:03:36,937 --> 00:03:38,354
I don't smell anything.
103
00:03:38,438 --> 00:03:39,605
Exactly.
104
00:03:39,689 --> 00:03:41,441
[ Chuckles ]
You know what? No.
105
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:42,775
Guys, it's not
that great here.
106
00:03:42,859 --> 00:03:44,861
I mean, look,
the ceilings are smooth.
107
00:03:44,945 --> 00:03:46,766
Isn't that
what floors are for?
108
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,685
Because they
don't have asbestos.
109
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,173
Ah, they cheaped out
on asbestos.
110
00:03:51,258 --> 00:03:53,801
Look, Janine, the school's
just better, alright?
111
00:03:53,886 --> 00:03:56,138
You don't have to lie about it.
The cops ain't askin'.
112
00:03:56,223 --> 00:03:58,266
- Hey!
- Tina!
113
00:03:58,351 --> 00:04:00,478
Oh, what?
114
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:02,920
That's Ms. Schwartz,
the teacher you replaced.
115
00:04:03,004 --> 00:04:03,860
The one
who kicked a student?
116
00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:05,214
Oh, I don't do that anymore.
[ Laughs ]
117
00:04:05,298 --> 00:04:07,212
Because of therapy
and anger management.
118
00:04:07,297 --> 00:04:09,007
Also, at a charter school,
119
00:04:09,092 --> 00:04:11,102
there's a lot less oversight
in the hiring process,
120
00:04:11,187 --> 00:04:12,235
so it's been
pretty sweet.
121
00:04:12,347 --> 00:04:13,765
Well, sweetheart,
it's good to see you,
122
00:04:13,849 --> 00:04:15,808
and the school
is wonderful.
123
00:04:15,892 --> 00:04:17,477
Yeah.
Are those my books?
124
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:19,145
Oh, yeah.
Ohh!
125
00:04:19,229 --> 00:04:21,230
I've been kicking myself
for losing them.
126
00:04:21,314 --> 00:04:23,016
[ Laughter ]
127
00:04:23,101 --> 00:04:24,977
Something funny?
128
00:04:25,193 --> 00:04:26,194
No.
129
00:04:26,278 --> 00:04:27,195
You guys want
a little tour?
130
00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:30,156
Yes.
Okay, so...
131
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,283
this is
the language lab.
132
00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:33,743
The kids are currently
learning French.
133
00:04:33,827 --> 00:04:34,952
Bonjour!
134
00:04:35,036 --> 00:04:36,204
Together: Bonjour!
135
00:04:36,288 --> 00:04:38,581
Aww!
Ohh.
136
00:04:38,665 --> 00:04:42,210
Yeah. Over there are our
restrooms, which are awesome
137
00:04:42,294 --> 00:04:45,004
because the baños
don't attack you here.
138
00:04:45,088 --> 00:04:47,006
Oh, I fixed that
toilet, so... Okay.
139
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,634
Uh, the music teacher comes
♪ twice a week ♪
140
00:04:49,718 --> 00:04:52,053
♪ Abbott's comes twice a week,
as well ♪
141
00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:53,638
Just lying.
I...
142
00:04:53,722 --> 00:04:56,599
And this little diddly is
our computer lab. [ Gasps ]
143
00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:58,726
You know, the kids love it,
and it's improved
144
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:01,312
reading scores
just across the board.
145
00:05:01,396 --> 00:05:03,106
Is that Mavis Beacon?
146
00:05:03,190 --> 00:05:05,316
Yeah, this place is the best.
[ Chuckles ]
147
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,609
We did have a little
mice problem,
148
00:05:06,693 --> 00:05:09,946
but we called people to humanely
get rid of them, so...
149
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,531
Instead of chasing them
with sticks, you know?
150
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,366
[ Chuckles awkwardly ]
That's so great.
151
00:05:13,450 --> 00:05:14,659
It really is great!
152
00:05:14,743 --> 00:05:16,911
It's so great here! It's
really great at Abbott, too!
153
00:05:16,995 --> 00:05:20,790
Oh, hey, Kya, you gagootz,
keep it movin'!
154
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,069
[ Scoffs ]
155
00:05:25,754 --> 00:05:27,055
Okay, come on.
156
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,557
Let's get out of here,
come on.
157
00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:30,126
Melissa,
that's... that's like
158
00:05:30,211 --> 00:05:31,369
your charter school
doppelganger.
159
00:05:31,453 --> 00:05:33,079
I said let's go!
160
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:34,040
Um...
161
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:37,045
Open your ears,
listen with your minds.
162
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:39,837
Assuming everybody here
has seen "Pocahontas,"
163
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,798
the original "Avatar."
164
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,843
Really?
[ Knock on door ]
165
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,845
Oh, class,
this is Mr. Eddie.
166
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,868
This is the guy
I was telling you about.
167
00:05:47,953 --> 00:05:49,495
What have you
been telling them?
168
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,974
N-Never mind.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
169
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,645
Okay, everyone,
give a couple besties
170
00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,314
a moment to, uh,
flap the gums.
171
00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:58,962
Whoa!
You look hot.
172
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,861
Warm.
Y-You're sweating.
173
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,488
Yeah, my classroom
is sweltering,
174
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,989
and I can't remember the way
Barbara showed us
175
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:06,115
how to open up
the windows.
176
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,158
How do you
do that again?
177
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,452
Oh, well, I am flattered
you thought to ask me first,
178
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,704
but that's definitely
more of a Barbara question.
179
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,789
That's what
Janine said.
180
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:13,998
Oh, so I wasn't first.
181
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,375
You know, it's fine.
182
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,626
Sweating is good
for the students.
183
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,930
It stimulates the brain.
184
00:06:18,015 --> 00:06:19,809
Wait, wait. Why aren't you
just asking Barbara?
185
00:06:19,893 --> 00:06:21,185
Is there something else
going on?
186
00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:23,064
Don't worry about it. Okay,
but I will worry about it,
187
00:06:23,148 --> 00:06:24,384
you know,
and every time I see you,
188
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,177
I'll be thinking about it
and want to talk about it.
189
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,763
Okay, fine, look,
I'm avoiding Barbara right now
190
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:32,235
because things with Taylor
aren't going... great, okay?
191
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,227
We're not meshing, and I'll
talk to Barbara eventually.
192
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,724
I just have to figure out a plan
for this whole Taylor situation.
193
00:06:36,808 --> 00:06:38,643
Girl problems,
young blood?
194
00:06:38,728 --> 00:06:39,979
I cannot relate.
195
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,383
I have to go.
196
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,697
- Hmm?
- Students: Eh.
197
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,533
Ooh, I didn't know
Jazz Band was a color.
198
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,285
Abbott is my home,
and I take pride in it,
199
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,048
so I've decided to brighten up
the place myself.
200
00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:57,719
And it'll be as good
as anywhere else.
201
00:06:57,804 --> 00:06:59,305
Addington who?
202
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:00,967
Ms. Teagues is pleased.
203
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,706
[ Applause ]
Yeah!
204
00:07:02,791 --> 00:07:04,047
Yeah, we're gonna
go Jazz Band.
205
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,259
I think that's a real reflection
of our room, right?
206
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,260
You play bass.
207
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,970
Uh, what do you think
you're doing?
208
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,821
Oh, um, just sprucing up
the place.
209
00:07:11,906 --> 00:07:13,907
That charter school
had that fresh coat of paint,
210
00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:15,370
so if we just...
We're not Addington.
211
00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:17,996
We're an actual public school,
and you can't paint the walls.
212
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,314
Classroom decor is set
by the Philadelphia Department
213
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,650
of Education, Animal Shelters,
and Traffic.
214
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,194
Well... Trust me,
the blue looks worse.
215
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,988
My brother gets to go
to Addington.
216
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,323
They take a field trip
every month.
217
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,326
Is it true that they
have a computer lab?
218
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:36,247
Yep, and you can
Google stuff.
219
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,331
Dang.
220
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:40,626
[ Door opens ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
221
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,128
I know how we can spend
the grant money.
222
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:45,048
Janine, didn't you get your
breathing checked over the summer?
223
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,091
We already agreed we're
spending it on baby wipes
224
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,718
and cleaning supplies.
225
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,262
Look, I know it's not sexy, but
we just need the basics here.
226
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,014
But the basics
aren't good enough.
227
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,141
These kids
need to be uplifted.
228
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,269
We can turn the library
into a computer lab.
229
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,520
Get a bunch
of computers...
230
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,065
You mean computer.
The "S" makes it expensive.
231
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,108
Fine. Computer
for the library.
232
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,278
We don't even have a librarian
for the library.
233
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,572
It would be nice to get
some plants for the classrooms.
234
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,115
Or some air freshener.
235
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,950
A computer.
Why are we even debating this?
236
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,368
I can't believe you don't want
to do more for our kids.
237
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,745
That's not what it's about,
Janine.
238
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,121
Then what is it about?
239
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,083
Look, we should not
be competing with any school.
240
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,044
We should be doing our best
for this one.
241
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:26,297
Yeah, no, I'm not saying
...Yeah. [ Indistinct talking ]
242
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,757
Sounds like y'all got
some different ideas
243
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,133
about the grant money.
244
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,927
We need to come up with a fair
and responsible way
245
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,428
to figure out what to do
with the rest of that cash.
246
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,137
- Dear God.
- Like what?
247
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,430
The only tried-and-true way
248
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,433
that any sound
financial decisions are made.
249
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,060
Y'all ever seen
"Shark Tank"?
250
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,190
[ Humming
"Shark Tank" theme ]
251
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,486
Ah, all dressed up for your
big dip in the Shark Tank today?
252
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,320
- What?
- No.
253
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,488
I got to go
to court later
254
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,323
for throwing a corn cob
at Ben Simmons.
255
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,283
Wait, so you're not gonna
make a presentation?
256
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,619
No! I'm not gonna
humiliate myself,
257
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,496
and I don't know
anybody else who would, either.
258
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,249
I stayed up all night
making my presentation.
259
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,384
Of course you did.
260
00:09:02,469 --> 00:09:03,620
I'm gonna win
that grant money
261
00:09:03,704 --> 00:09:06,039
and turn Abbott into a
crown jewel of the neighborhood.
262
00:09:06,124 --> 00:09:07,333
Crown jewel?
263
00:09:07,418 --> 00:09:10,869
It'll be us and that corner
store that still sells loosies.
264
00:09:11,143 --> 00:09:13,228
You know, in the end times,
it's just gonna be cockroaches
265
00:09:13,312 --> 00:09:15,772
roaming the empty streets
and Janine holding up a sign
266
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,658
that says
"Turn that frown upside down."
267
00:09:31,079 --> 00:09:33,373
Whoa,
that was awkward.
268
00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:34,916
Hey, I hope
whatever's going on
269
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,292
with you and Taylor
can be fixed.
270
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,003
Unfortunately,
I don't think so.
271
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,005
I cannot do another dinner
at a restaurant
272
00:09:41,089 --> 00:09:42,924
that does small plates
with a unique flare.
273
00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,259
Small plates?
274
00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:45,468
Oh, you have to break up.
275
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,345
Just call her right now,
rip off the Band-Aid.
276
00:09:47,429 --> 00:09:49,889
Normally I would, but I don't think
I can be the one to end this one.
277
00:09:49,973 --> 00:09:51,975
If I hurt Taylor,
I hurt Barbara.
278
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,726
You best not
go hurtin' Barbara.
279
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,311
You want my advice?
No.
280
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,107
Mail a certified letter
telling her you got drafted.
281
00:09:59,191 --> 00:10:02,110
Or you could just
let it peter out.
282
00:10:02,194 --> 00:10:03,153
What do you mean,
peter out?
283
00:10:03,237 --> 00:10:05,196
You can't ghost.
That's too harsh.
284
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,740
But petering is gentle.
It's nice.
285
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:10,034
I've... I've done it
a bunch of times.
286
00:10:10,118 --> 00:10:12,954
You just stop using
exclamation points, okay?
287
00:10:13,038 --> 00:10:15,039
You start taking a few hours
to respond,
288
00:10:15,123 --> 00:10:17,125
and then, you know,
before you know it,
289
00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:18,960
it's been a few weeks since
you've gotten a text that says,
290
00:10:19,044 --> 00:10:21,004
"Good morning,
handsome."
291
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,548
It's risky,
but it could work.
292
00:10:23,632 --> 00:10:26,092
And you probably won't
get your tires slashed.
293
00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:28,303
You ever heard
of Martha and the Vandellas?
294
00:10:28,387 --> 00:10:30,930
Well, I dumped Martha,
but I'm pretty sure
295
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:33,976
the Vandellas
vandalized my car.
296
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:39,063
I would like to not have
my tires slashed, so...
297
00:10:39,147 --> 00:10:40,815
Thanks for being here,
Courtney.
298
00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:42,442
I think of you
like a young me.
299
00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:44,611
I think of you
like an old me.
300
00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:46,988
This ain't "A Star Is Born."
I'll shut your tiny ass down.
301
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:48,198
Let's get going.
302
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:50,658
There's dust bunnies
in the gym with my name on it.
303
00:10:50,742 --> 00:10:52,869
[ "Shark Tank"
theme music plays ]
304
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:58,791
[♪♪]
305
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,168
Shanae:
Hello, Sharks.
306
00:11:00,252 --> 00:11:03,129
You all know me
as the Lunch Lady.
307
00:11:03,213 --> 00:11:05,465
'Cause none of you had
the decency to ask my name.
308
00:11:05,549 --> 00:11:06,758
Yes, continue,
Lunch Lady.
309
00:11:06,842 --> 00:11:08,426
My name is Shanae.
310
00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,428
And I'm looking for
a 100% investment
311
00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:12,138
of the grant money
for our kitchen.
312
00:11:12,222 --> 00:11:14,432
We need cutlery, a bunch
of tongs, and hair nets,
313
00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:16,309
'cause I know y'all are tired
of stray hair in your food.
314
00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:18,519
I thought that was
a new kind of soup.
315
00:11:18,603 --> 00:11:19,687
Ava: Thank you for
your presentation,
316
00:11:19,771 --> 00:11:21,022
but I don't see
how any of this
317
00:11:21,106 --> 00:11:23,107
benefits me personally
in any way,
318
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:24,651
and for that reason,
I am out.
319
00:11:31,074 --> 00:11:33,117
Hey, Ava.
Do you work here?
320
00:11:33,201 --> 00:11:34,202
For nine years!
321
00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:36,913
Damn, this is embarrassing...
For you.
322
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,539
You should really try
to stand out more.
323
00:11:38,623 --> 00:11:40,250
[ Sighs ]
324
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,168
I haven't been impressed
with the pitches so far.
325
00:11:42,252 --> 00:11:43,211
They're trash.
326
00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:44,712
It's like they don't
even want it.
327
00:11:44,796 --> 00:11:46,923
Can't believe I get
to miss class for this.
328
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,216
Okay, who's next?
329
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,303
Oh, thank God.
330
00:11:52,387 --> 00:11:54,180
I thought you had
some kind of twin janitor.
331
00:11:54,264 --> 00:11:55,807
That was freaky.
Hello, Sharks.
332
00:11:55,891 --> 00:11:58,226
My name is Mr. Johnson,
and I'm here to pitch you
333
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,646
on janitorial work
in the 21st century.
334
00:12:03,273 --> 00:12:04,065
Behold.
335
00:12:04,149 --> 00:12:05,191
Okay.
336
00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:06,985
With 100%
of that grant money,
337
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,821
I could become
the 007 of janitors,
338
00:12:09,905 --> 00:12:11,490
Agent 409.
339
00:12:17,829 --> 00:12:20,206
Welcome to the Tank.
What do you have for us?
340
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:23,293
Uh, we're just here
to retrieve some books.
341
00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:24,961
'Cause this is, you know,
a library.
342
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,255
You both are annoying me,
and for that reason, I'm out.
343
00:12:27,339 --> 00:12:28,423
We don't want
to be in!
344
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:30,341
Nevertheless, it's a no.
345
00:12:30,425 --> 00:12:34,262
And that is why I'm seeking
the entire sum of the grant
346
00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:36,597
so that we can grant...
347
00:12:36,681 --> 00:12:38,182
our kids a brighter future.
348
00:12:38,266 --> 00:12:40,727
Thank you.
[ Chuckles ]
349
00:12:40,811 --> 00:12:42,812
No.
No?
350
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,064
I don't know.
It's a bit much.
351
00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:47,734
But a bit much
is kind of my brand.
352
00:12:47,818 --> 00:12:49,861
I know, but I think
it'll be more effective
353
00:12:49,945 --> 00:12:52,739
if we limit the theatrics
and just keep it grounded.
354
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:57,994
See, that is why
I came to you.
355
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,288
Because Jacob just would've
lied to my face
356
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,623
and told me
it was amazing.
357
00:13:02,707 --> 00:13:06,210
Man, see, you're such an honest,
straight-up guy.
358
00:13:06,294 --> 00:13:08,671
You're right.
359
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,174
I am straight up.
And honest.
360
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,301
It's kind of my brand.
361
00:13:13,385 --> 00:13:15,428
Well, it's not really
your brand.
362
00:13:15,512 --> 00:13:16,805
Yeah, it is.
363
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:19,210
See?
364
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,401
Okay, then.
Well, I'm going shark diving.
365
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:22,819
Wish me luck.
366
00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:28,825
So, if I get
the seed money,
367
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,910
I'll be able to have my
water ice truck all year round.
368
00:13:30,994 --> 00:13:32,829
What does this have to do
with the school?
369
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,247
This about the school?
370
00:13:34,331 --> 00:13:36,040
I thought y'all was
just giving out money.
371
00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:37,292
Get out.
372
00:13:37,376 --> 00:13:38,918
Courtney:
He's got my vote.
373
00:13:39,002 --> 00:13:41,713
It's so hot, I could really go
for a water ice right now.
374
00:13:41,797 --> 00:13:43,006
Oh, we don't take bribes...
375
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,925
That aren't in
the form of money.
376
00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:51,055
Hi, Sharks. I'm Janine Teagues
from Philadelphia.
377
00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:52,599
Girl, we already know
who you are.
378
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:53,641
Get to it.
379
00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:56,853
See? This is why I was bored
in her class.
380
00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,064
Today I am seeking an investment
of the full grant
381
00:14:00,148 --> 00:14:02,233
to brighten
and better our school.
382
00:14:02,317 --> 00:14:05,737
I'm talking computer...
383
00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:07,780
the gateway to the future.
384
00:14:07,864 --> 00:14:09,115
One second.
385
00:14:09,199 --> 00:14:10,658
Gregory was right.
This was too much.
386
00:14:10,742 --> 00:14:12,076
Ava: Let's go
to commercial break.
387
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,037
I'm reserving judgment till
you can answer this question.
388
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,163
You got one
in my size?
389
00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:17,165
I do!
390
00:14:17,249 --> 00:14:19,208
T-shirt,
T-shirt, T-shirt.
391
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,794
So you want us to look
just as dorky as you.
392
00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:25,963
A lot of our kids don't have
access to the Internet at home.
393
00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:28,661
Plus, I believe
this will boost morale,
394
00:14:28,745 --> 00:14:31,790
which positively
affects learning,
395
00:14:31,874 --> 00:14:32,957
according to
certain studies.
396
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:34,209
Are those
peer reviewed?
397
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:36,336
I prefer the pitch
Mr. Johnson gave.
398
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:38,797
Look, we can prove that
we're not just as good
399
00:14:38,881 --> 00:14:40,465
as any charter school,
400
00:14:40,549 --> 00:14:42,676
we're better!
401
00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:46,387
Stay tuned and find out
who we'll be making a deal with
402
00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:47,972
after this next break.
403
00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:50,475
Who are you talking to?
404
00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:52,018
This is always
my favorite part,
405
00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:53,978
when we let the losers
know who they are.
406
00:14:54,062 --> 00:14:55,480
Yeah.
Sorry, Mr. Hill.
407
00:14:55,564 --> 00:14:57,273
What?
I didn't even pitch.
408
00:14:57,357 --> 00:14:58,608
Because morale
is important,
409
00:14:58,692 --> 00:15:00,819
and because I got outvoted
two to one,
410
00:15:00,903 --> 00:15:01,903
the winner is...
411
00:15:01,987 --> 00:15:04,322
Janine.
412
00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:06,366
Wait. Wait a minute.
I'm Janine.
413
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,326
Wait, I won?
Oh, my gosh, this feels amazing.
414
00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:10,411
I usually only get this feeling
watching movies.
415
00:15:10,495 --> 00:15:11,412
Ugh.
416
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:12,747
Congrats, girl.
417
00:15:12,831 --> 00:15:14,123
You're getting
your computer.
418
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:15,291
- Student: Aah!
- What is that?
419
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:17,502
You guys got to see
what's in the cafeteria!
420
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,379
[ Students screaming ]
421
00:15:24,051 --> 00:15:26,135
Hello, friend.
422
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:27,471
For real?
423
00:15:29,556 --> 00:15:31,015
This is why
we need new tongs.
424
00:15:31,099 --> 00:15:32,725
The mice are just slipping
through the old ones.
425
00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,477
[ Gasping ]
426
00:15:34,561 --> 00:15:36,104
Don't worry.
I figured out the problem.
427
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:37,730
W-W-What is it,
Mr. Johnson?
428
00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:38,982
There's a bunch of mice
runnin' around.
429
00:15:39,066 --> 00:15:40,650
We know that,
Mr. Johnson!
430
00:15:40,734 --> 00:15:41,943
Oh.
431
00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:43,612
You're up to speed, then.
432
00:15:47,616 --> 00:15:49,868
Melissa: I don't know.
We'll just... Here he is.
433
00:15:49,952 --> 00:15:51,160
Seems that when they chased the
mice from that charter school,
434
00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:53,246
they roamed the streets looking
for somewhere else to go.
435
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:54,539
Abbott was
the most delicious.
436
00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:55,999
Congrats, Janine.
437
00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:58,418
I guess Abbott is better
than Addington at something.
438
00:15:58,502 --> 00:15:59,794
Well, can you get rid of them
or not?
439
00:15:59,878 --> 00:16:01,713
This job is too big
for one Mr. Johnson.
440
00:16:01,797 --> 00:16:04,591
Oh, exterminators
are expensive.
441
00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:05,675
Melissa: The grant money.
442
00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:07,135
Yeah, I don't really think
we got a choice.
443
00:16:07,219 --> 00:16:07,927
No.
444
00:16:08,011 --> 00:16:09,178
But I won.
445
00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:12,099
Well, sorry, hon.
Abbott is undefeated.
446
00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:14,601
[ Window rattling ]
447
00:16:14,685 --> 00:16:16,895
Oh, uh, Mrs. Howard.
448
00:16:16,979 --> 00:16:18,730
Can you please help me
with this window?
449
00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,857
Oh, sure.
450
00:16:20,941 --> 00:16:23,651
They don't call me the
Window Whisperer for nothing.
451
00:16:23,735 --> 00:16:25,862
Alright.
452
00:16:25,946 --> 00:16:29,032
Okay, now, press directly here
and release the pressure.
453
00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:33,077
[ Grunts ]
Ah, there you go.
454
00:16:33,161 --> 00:16:34,579
That all?
455
00:16:34,663 --> 00:16:37,457
Um, no, actually,
it's not.
456
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:39,334
I don't know why I avoided it
for so long.
457
00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:42,170
I'm not a peter-out kind of guy.
458
00:16:42,254 --> 00:16:44,047
I'm happy Janine
reminded me of that.
459
00:16:44,131 --> 00:16:46,007
I actually wanted to talk to you
about something.
460
00:16:46,091 --> 00:16:49,135
[ Sighs ] And I wanted
to talk to you, too.
461
00:16:49,219 --> 00:16:50,762
I just want to say
I'm sorry
462
00:16:50,846 --> 00:16:53,140
things didn't work out
between you and Taylor.
463
00:16:55,809 --> 00:16:57,143
Oh!
464
00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:59,103
Oh, don't tell me I'm
breaking the news. Uh...
465
00:16:59,187 --> 00:17:01,814
Ooh!
I told that child,
466
00:17:01,898 --> 00:17:03,900
"You have got to be
straightforward."
467
00:17:03,963 --> 00:17:06,006
Petering out is
just not of the Lord.
468
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,883
Mnh-mnh!
469
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:10,177
Wait, so she was
petering out on me?
470
00:17:10,261 --> 00:17:11,386
Do you know why?
471
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:16,016
Well, I think she said
you a "broke bwah."
472
00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:22,106
I think she's saying
I'm a broke boi.
473
00:17:24,066 --> 00:17:24,900
Oh.
474
00:17:24,984 --> 00:17:26,026
No.
475
00:17:30,531 --> 00:17:33,366
I can't believe we have rats
in this school.
476
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,994
Well, they're actually mice,
which are better than rats
477
00:17:36,078 --> 00:17:37,579
'cause they're
less intrusive.
478
00:17:37,663 --> 00:17:40,791
This lady trying to put
a positive spin on rats.
479
00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:45,087
Don't get it twisted.
This is a mouse house now.
480
00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:46,713
Look.
481
00:17:46,797 --> 00:17:48,924
Barbara and I weren't
trying to be mean.
482
00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:51,426
It's just the kind of stuff
we got to deal with around here.
483
00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:53,637
And that's why,
when we can get anything,
484
00:17:53,721 --> 00:17:54,846
we just want the basics.
485
00:17:54,930 --> 00:17:56,515
No, I get it.
I do.
486
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:59,768
You know, I just saw Addington
and freaked.
487
00:17:59,852 --> 00:18:01,937
Just wanted to get
something special for Abbott
488
00:18:02,021 --> 00:18:03,980
so that we don't feel
like an afterthought.
489
00:18:04,064 --> 00:18:06,483
Mm. Wanted us
to feel just as good,
490
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:08,985
even though maybe
that just isn't true.
491
00:18:09,069 --> 00:18:11,822
And now it looks like we won't
be getting any of that stuff.
492
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:13,532
Yeah, even if I can cut a deal
with the rat guy,
493
00:18:13,616 --> 00:18:15,534
we're only gonna have
like 350 bucks left.
494
00:18:15,618 --> 00:18:18,120
Yep.
Okay, let's just get wipes.
495
00:18:18,204 --> 00:18:19,788
There you go.
Yeah.
496
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:22,875
The kids don't need
to feel special.
497
00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:29,339
Well, if that's
all you want,
498
00:18:29,423 --> 00:18:31,466
I can make somebody feel special
for less than $350.
499
00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:34,177
Ava, I've said I do not want
to go to a strip club with you.
500
00:18:34,261 --> 00:18:36,638
That wasn't an invitation, girl.
I just needed some ones.
501
00:18:36,722 --> 00:18:38,890
And lots of 'em.
[ Laughs ]
502
00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:41,685
But, no,
I have another idea.
503
00:18:41,769 --> 00:18:45,605
Thank you, Sharks,
for this one-time cash infusion.
504
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,816
This is awesome!
505
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,443
Abbott for the win!
506
00:18:51,612 --> 00:18:53,071
Whoa,
they got water ice?
507
00:18:53,155 --> 00:18:55,031
That's right.
Water ice at Abbott.
508
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:56,158
Keep it moving.
509
00:18:56,242 --> 00:18:58,618
What do you have,
a computer lab?
510
00:18:58,702 --> 00:18:59,870
Dweebs.
511
00:18:59,954 --> 00:19:01,746
[ Laughs ]
512
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,331
Yeah, you heard
the baby shark.
513
00:19:03,415 --> 00:19:07,882
Keep it movin', and quit staring
us down with that lazy eye.
514
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,384
Who you think
you're talkin' to?
515
00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:12,823
A woman with Jersey mall hair
and too much makeup.
516
00:19:12,907 --> 00:19:14,784
Now take that sfigato ass
down the street.
517
00:19:14,868 --> 00:19:15,785
Oh.
518
00:19:15,869 --> 00:19:17,578
Melissa!
519
00:19:17,662 --> 00:19:19,580
I don't even know
what "sfigato" means
520
00:19:19,664 --> 00:19:20,831
and I know
that was too much.
521
00:19:20,915 --> 00:19:22,458
It's a very small
cup of coffee.
522
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:24,376
That's not even close,
and I can say whatever I want
523
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:25,795
to my stupid sister.
524
00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:30,007
Sister? As in the woman
that works at the other school?
525
00:19:30,091 --> 00:19:32,051
You have the same mom?
Y-Your sister?
526
00:19:32,135 --> 00:19:33,969
Yeah, yeah, good, you know
what having a sister means.
527
00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:36,597
Glad you're making good use
of that Penn education.
528
00:19:36,681 --> 00:19:39,934
Wait... And, no, I'm not
saying another word about this.
529
00:19:40,018 --> 00:19:43,771
Well, um, hey,
you got to hand it to Ava.
530
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,564
This is... This
is a blast. Yeah.
531
00:19:45,648 --> 00:19:49,276
And it is so good that the kids
can feel special today.
532
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,113
Oh, are you saying
that I was right, Barbara?
533
00:19:52,197 --> 00:19:53,990
Uh... no.
534
00:19:56,159 --> 00:19:58,119
[ Sighs ]
Oh, this is so fun.
535
00:19:58,203 --> 00:20:00,830
Yeah. I just wish
Gregory could enjoy it.
536
00:20:00,914 --> 00:20:01,997
What's wrong
with Gregory?
537
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,250
Well, you didn't
hear it from me,
538
00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:07,128
but I think he and Taylor
are on the outs.
539
00:20:10,465 --> 00:20:11,799
That's too bad.
540
00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:13,009
Yeah.
541
00:20:14,802 --> 00:20:17,805
Hey, Devin,
can I get a piña colada?
542
00:20:23,186 --> 00:20:25,187
Hey.
Hey.
543
00:20:25,271 --> 00:20:27,022
You okay?
544
00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:28,106
I will be.
545
00:20:31,319 --> 00:20:32,444
Thank you.
546
00:20:32,528 --> 00:20:34,572
You are so welcome.
547
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:36,031
You're all welcome!
548
00:20:36,115 --> 00:20:37,658
I really killed that today.
549
00:20:37,742 --> 00:20:40,661
Kids happy, Janine quiet,
Gregory fine.
550
00:20:40,745 --> 00:20:42,496
I feel like I got
a real knack for this,
551
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,666
like I could be president
or maybe even mayor of a school.
552
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:46,960
What would you call that?
553
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:51,380
How's that
petering out going?
554
00:20:51,464 --> 00:20:55,134
Well, it turns out that Taylor
was actually petering out on me.
555
00:20:55,218 --> 00:20:57,928
Whoa, she petered?
556
00:20:58,012 --> 00:20:59,305
That's amazing.
557
00:20:59,389 --> 00:21:00,931
How is that amazing?
558
00:21:01,015 --> 00:21:03,142
Because, man, that's what
people used to do to me.
559
00:21:03,226 --> 00:21:05,936
Huh? Just one more thing
we have in common.
560
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:07,146
Don't take it so hard.
561
00:21:07,230 --> 00:21:08,814
Everybody gets dumped.
562
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:10,357
If it can happen
to Michael B. Jordan,
563
00:21:10,441 --> 00:21:11,859
it can happen to you.
564
00:21:11,943 --> 00:21:14,486
Now, that white boy
sure can act.
565
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:19,075
Ooh! I love those
"Back to the Future" movies.
566
00:21:20,893 --> 00:21:22,186
Together:
Michael J. Fox.
567
00:21:22,287 --> 00:21:23,538
Hmm?
41827
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