All language subtitles for New Amsterdam (2018) 5x01 - TBD (English)

My dearest Max,

if you toss this letter,
rip it up, burn it,

I won't blame you.

I've done the same
to countless versions.

What I did was unforgiveable

- to you, to our friends.
- Hi.

To sweet Luna.

Hey.

It was never my intention.

None of this is what I intended.

Everything I ever said to you was true.

Everything we had was real,

but so is this thing
that kept me in London.

Kept me from marrying you.

I wish I knew what it was.

I wish I could rip it out of me,

obliterate it so I could be with you.

Because you deserve all
the happiness in the world.

I wish I had an explanation
to help ease your pain,

but none has come.

All I have is the time that's passed

and the desperate hope
that it heals us both.

Heals your heart, heals your mind,

heals Luna, and heals our friends.

Max, you are beautiful and shimmering.

And I was made better
for being in your light.

We all were.

Please don't lose your light.

May it shine again,
even brighter than before.

All my love, Helen.

Come on.

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

- Lauren!
- What? What's going on?

How many times I got to
tell you to stay on the couch?

And how many times
have I got to tell you

that your couch is
a sciatica waiting to happen.

You gotta go back to your own place.

Look, you've been bouncing
from couch-to-couch for months.

Don't blame me.

Blame the US immigration system.

Every month Leyla's visa's
supposed to be sorted

and she's supposed to move out

and every month they throw
something new at her.

You have a two bedroom.
Just use the other one.

Floyd, I know me. If I'm living there,

I'm falling back into bed with her.

- Better her bed than mine.
- Come on.

I'm giving you till tomorrow,

then you can find someone
else's couch to not sleep on.

Okay, so these flapjacks,

right here, they are both circles, yeah?

- No one says flapjacks.
- That...

well, these objects
that I call flapjacks

and you call pancakes,
are they similar or congruent?

- Similar.
- Okay. Hey, Harper.

Feet... not at the table.
Raffi, breakfast.

Sorry I'm late. I got your text...

- It's all good.
- And I come bearing

the last bottle of the bougie
real maple stuff.

All right, guys, Dad is home
and breakfast is served.

Come on. Let's go, guys.
Come on. Come on.

Not even a hello from these locusts.

Yeah, well, you know,
when you taste delicious

covered in maple syrup,
you'll be popular too.

Hey, about Tuesday...

Uh, yeah, yeah.
It's all good. I can stay late.

Okay, I thought Tuesday
was yoga morning.

No, no. Yoga's on Wednesdays now.

Oh, okay. Well, thank you.

Namaste.

Well, then I present to thee
the spat-of-tula.

Best separated dads ever.

Um, what was I? Yeah, yeah.

- That's it, I guess.
- Yeah.

I'll see you in three days, okay?

- All right.
- Okay.

Bye, guys. Bye, my loves.
Have a good day.

Who wants more pancakes?

- I do!
- Here you are, sir.

And more maple syrup?

Did you forget something?

Uh, no. The house is yours.

All right. More fruit.

A lot of fruit on those pancakes.

- Oh, look at those cheeks.
- Yeah, she eats like crazy.

Especially the phone
while we're FaceTiming, but...

- Happy girl.
- Yeah, happy girl. Happy dad.

Well, two happy dads.

And there's my dad.

- What?
- Flaking on dinner.

- Again?
- Again.

Well, what's his excuse this time?

Uh, I don't know. I can't ask.

- You can't ask?
- Well...

Have you never asked?

Look, it's taken decades
to get here, you know?

I have a relationship with the man.

What kind of relationship is it?

I mean, you don't see the guy.

You don't tell him how you feel.

Well, at least I know
I'll never lose him again.

Well, I hate this, you know?

You are an incredible person
and you deserve better.

Thank you,

but you still got to move out tomorrow.

You suck.

Why does it rain?

Uh, because clouds.

Why clouds?

'Cause, uh, rain droplets.

Why rain droplets?

Hmm, why rain droplets?
That's a tough one.

Um, because evaporation.

We made it. Give me a hug.

Big hug. Big hug. Rrarr!

Have a good day, okay?

Why isn't Mom here?

Because, um...

- Good morning, Luna.
- Hi.

- Hi. Ready to go inside?
- Okay. Have fun, Lu.

- Love you.
- Watch your step.

- Hey, Lu.
- Gonna have fun today.

We know the children's
foundation can't help everyone.

We just hadn't seen Brady
that excited about something

since before the diagnosis.

What did he say when you told him?

You know Brady.
He's putting up a brave front.

But he's devastated.

I mean, how else is
a 12-year-old supposed to react

to being denied his dying wish?

New Amsterdam has a wonderful board

and a truly amazing medical director.

We have a large volunteer group and...

A lot of celebrities
owe us a few favors.

What are you saying, Dr. Wilder?

What I'm saying is that we

can make Brady's wish come true.

So what is it?

I want to be the star
of a Bollywood musical.

Male, 30s, multiple fractured ribs.

Patient was trampled when some march

was disrupted by protestors.
Vital signs stable.

Okay, bay 23.

I liked it better when
they protested on Facebook.

More coming.

Patient was hit in the head
by a glass bottle.

- She sustained...
- She is a they.

Okay, I'm gonna need
transport for a CT scan, stat.

Brunstetter, Brunstetter, over here.

Bay 23. Alert ortho.

Keith James, 43-year-old man
with chemical burns.

Induced dyspnea due to pepper spray.

I tried to shield him. Doug's asthmatic.

- It was so fast.
- You did great, Keith, okay?

We're gonna take
good care of him and you.

34-year-old female, fractured wrist,

extensive lacerations from
glass shards in the field.

They just came out of nowhere.

We got you.

They just started attacking us.

Why?

Why were we attacked, everybody?

- Sex worker rights now.
- Yeah.

Our bodies, our business, our choice.

- Sex work is...
- Work!

Sex work is work. Sex work...

It's not even 10 a.m. yet.

- Max.
- Hey.

Hey.

- And then you say...
- Yeah, sorry.

- How can I help?
- There he is. There it is.

- A little rusty.
- Yeah, that's cool.

You'll get there. So, hey, listen,

I missed the first day
of drop-offs today

because me and Martin have
the new nesting schedule.

I'm jonesing for some cute kid stories.

You got a cute kid.

Luna, tell me about her.
Was she nervous?

Was there extra hugs? Were there tears?

- Just mine.
- Oh.

Well, that's okay.
It happens to the best of us.

You know, with Raffi,
I was a blubbering mess.

Well, Luna asked why Helen wasn't there.

Oof. That is not a cute kid story.

Not really. No.

More of a tragic Dickensian one.

- Yeah.
- You think I could get

some kind of bulk discount

if I buy years of therapy
in advance for Luna?

I mean, yes, big discount, but also,

maybe ease up on yourself a little bit.

You're doing great work in
the face of massive pain, Max.

Thanks for the reminder.

Look, Luna feels loved, right?

She feels free to ask big,
hard questions.

You're doing great work
here at the hospital.

- You're moving on.
- I'm-I'm not.

I'm not.

I mean, I can't really move on
until I understand why

Helen did what she did,
and she doesn't even know.

And when I look back
on the relationship,

when I think about Helen...

I just see love.

Yeah, I know.

Okay, look, since you're about
to buy therapy in bulk,

I'm gonna drop a freebee on you.

If your memories aren't giving you

the answers you're looking for,

maybe you're remembering the wrong ones.

Is this even real?

I've thought about nothing... but you.

And this

for so long.

Thought it, but...

I didn't know how to say it

or maybe was afraid to.

But now...

I feel like I have a future again

with you.

Just like this.

I should never have let you in.

Max.

Max!

I've got fantastic news.

We've just been gifted $10 million

to fund a new clinic.
No strings attached.

- No strings?
- Maybe like a thread.

- Oh, a thread.
- A silk thread.

- Invisible to the human eye.
- Which is?

The corporation just wants
their name on the clinic.

- That's it?
- Yes.

- That's easy.
- Right?

What's the corporation?

A company called...

What's that?

- Wholesome Home Goods.
- Wholesome Home Goods.

As in the company whose
cleaning products I don't buy

because they lobby for
abstinence-only education

and try to defund Planned Parenthood

and promote conversion therapy?
That Wholesome?

What's also true is
they make great sponges.

Karen, Wholesome's lobbying
efforts hurt the very patients

in this hospital,
and when people come here

with a ruptured uterus
or they're suicidal because

they're being bullied
for their sexuality

or any other of the direct consequences

of their agenda,
sponges aren't gonna help.

They're not going to use
our good reputation

to launder their bad name.

You can swallow this poison pill

and help thousands of people

or stay on your high horse
and help no one.

One question for you.

What would Veronica have done?

She would've taken the money.

She would have.

All right, so take a seat.

I'm, uh, Dr. Frome, as you already know.

Alex, what do you say?

You're meeting someone new.
Alex, what do you say?

It's, uh, nice to meet you, Dr. Frome.

I'm Alex and
how's your day going so far?

Good. Thank you. Yeah.
Real good. How about you?

Uh, not very good because
my doctor, Dr. Lloyd, died.

He died on September 1, 2022.

Yeah, yeah, I heard about that.

I-I'm sorry.

You were a patient of his
for a long time.

Yeah, yeah.

Ever since he was diagnosed
with autism at seven.

I'm sorry.

Dr. Lloyd was a special therapist.

You bet ya,

so we need somebody special
to replace him.

Alex has been regressing a little bit

since, uh, Dr. Lloyd died.

He's been having trouble self-regulating

and he's gotten a little bit, uh,

physically aggressive with me.

- Okay.
- So...

And that hasn't happened in
20 years, so we need your help.

Okay.

But you will not be doing this alone.

- Yeah.
- He's been working

with this team for the last 20 years.

Occupational therapist,
speech therapist,

the whole nine yards.

And these people are totally,
totally committed to his care.

I mean...

Half the names on this list

wrote the books
on that shelf right there.

- No kidding.
- This is the dream team.

Yup.

So will you take us on?

Hmm.

- Um...
- Al.

Oh, that's okay. That's okay.
Uh, yeah, I will.

- Oh!
- I will. Yeah.

Good.

- On, uh, on one condition.
- What's that?

I, uh, I want you to replace
every name on this list.

Hey, can I sleep with you tonight?

On your couch.

Only slightly less disturbing.

I mean, I would prefer
the bed because of my sciatica,

but I'll take the couch 'cause I snore.

- I'm... I just...
- You have no right!

- No right!
- Keep your voice down.

Keep my voice down. Are you serious?

Hey, hey, what's going on?

What's going on is this doctor

ran an HIV test without my consent.

There must be some kind
of misunderstanding.

There's a bunch of consent forms...

Exactly and I never signed
anything and he never asked.

Dr. Huxley, is this true?

I thought she'd want to know.

I thought I was helping.

This is exactly
why we were marching today

because you people
who should know better

keep putting your own morals,

your own judgments onto my body.

Well, is Brady going to India?

No, he's not.
I can't clear him for travel.

Why not?

Are you saying you would
send a child with lymphoma

jet-setting across the world
to a country teeming

with unfamiliar pathogens?

Yes, I would've cleared him.

Okay, what if I said yes?

How would you even get him
on a Bollywood movie set?

Do you know any Bollywood directors?

I would've found a way.

I'm sure you would've,
but the answer's still no.

Well, then you have to tell him.

Hey, listen,
there's all sorts of cool stuff

you can do around the city.
How about Yankees tickets?

Yeah, I guess that could be good.

Can I ask you something?

Why Bollywood?

It's what I watched during chemo,

and there was a lotta chemo.

Mm-hmm.

- Always a fan?
- No.

But Mr. Bhaskar, he was in chemo too.

Same schedule.

He used to watch
these movies on his iPad...

and this one day he saw me
watching over his shoulder.

And I thought he'd get really
mad because he's super grumpy,

but instead, he turned the subtitles on

and we watched together.

And after that, we always
watched Bollywood together.

Oh, I don't think I've ever
seen a Bollywood movie.

Well, you have to.

It has fighting and dancing.

And the hero always wins,

and the right thing
always happens in the end.

And whenever I watch them,

at least for a few hours,
I forget I'm sick.

My parents don't have that.

Nothing makes them forget,

so being in my own Bollywood musical

would be big enough
to make us all forget

for a little while at least.

I don't care what it takes,

we're getting that kid to India.

Max, I don't know how to tell you this.

I don't want to get married in a castle.

I don't know if I want any of it.

There you are.

Uh, the answer is still no, no, and no.

Unless the board took a vote,
and now the answer is yes,

- which is what happened.
- What?

I'm protecting you from yourself, Max.

I'm protecting this hospital
from your hasty decisions.

The kind of decisions

that made me hire Veronica Fuentes
in the first place.

You mean moral decisions?

Max, I love your morals.

I'm on a first-name basis
with them at this point.

And I'm not gonna defend
the Wholesome brand,

but I am gonna defend

this hospital's ability
to provide healthcare.

Right, but let me just ask you this.

How would you feel if
you walked into a clinic

with the name Wholesome on it

if you were gay
or you needed an abortion?

How much faith would you have

in our ability to act
in your best interest?

That's why I'm chair of the board

and you're the medical director.

Figure it out, because
we're taking the money.

- Dr. Frome.
- Mm-hmm.

All due respect,

everyone on this list

has helped make my son who he is today.

Well, yeah. Yeah, everyone on this list

helped guide Alex when he was a child,

but he's an adult now.

He needs someone
to guide him as an adult.

Do you know how many schools
he's been kicked out of?

How many misdiagnosed,
mis-guided treatments,

how many mind-altering medications

he's had to suffer through?

I can imagine the difficulty.

But that's all you can do.

All right.

Dr. Phife, legend, but I guarantee you,

he's using the exact same interventions

he used 40 years ago.

And Dr. Scarborough,
I mean, very impressive,

but he doesn't even
have a practice anymore.

Okay, wait. Scarborough loves Alex.

He has committed to his treatment

long after he retires from Columbia.

You want stability for Alex, you do.

I understand that. Of course you do.

- But what happens when...
- Shut up.

The next therapist
on this list retires or dies?

- Shut up. Shut up.
- Okay, Alex...

Shut up. Shut up!

- Shut up!
- Don't!

Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up...

Dr. Ching, call Recovery.
Dr. Ching, call Recovery.

I'm sorry. The tests were run
before I could cancel them.

But here are the results.

I can't take these.

Rhoda, Rhoda, please.

Please don't let our failure here today

negatively impact your health.

I marched today in public
for the first time in my life.

Do you know how hard that was?

To walk down 5th Avenue
announcing to the world

that this is who I am,
this is what I do for a living.

Knowing how the world
feels about what I do.

If I take these results for a test

that you performed without my consent,

I might as well not have marched at all.

You're absolutely right.

Just so I'm clear, you want
to put a seriously ill,

immunocompromised child
on a 14-hour flight to India

to appear in a Bollywood musical.

Well, actually it's a 17-hour flight.

Even better.

Well, this particular musical...

- "Khilata Hua Guaab."
- Oh.

And it shoots in Mumbai.

Which is naturally where
all the good ones shoot.

- Naturally.
- So... you're in?

Oh, I was in as soon as
you said you had a crazy idea

that no one else would approve.

Hey, so Brady's going to India.

Unfortunately, I am not
the one you need to convince.

There's no way I'm approving any part

of this dangerous and insane request.

- If you'll just...
- No.

- Maybe you should...
- No.

Then you're gonna have to be the one

to tell a child
he can't have his dying wish.

I am the CEO of
a billion dollar company.

I'm used to being bearer of bad news.

What room is he in?

Imagine every plot of
every movie you've ever watched

crammed into one single movie,

and that's a Bollywood musical.

The hero finds the girl,

he rebels against his parents,

he makes a shady business deal
that he thinks is legitimate

but results in a police chase
through the city.

There's a wedding,

a promise of children,

and everyone is reunited.

If I was in my own Bollywood musical

for just one day,

I could live an entire life.

When does this musical start shooting?

- In two days.
- Well, we got to move fast.

Mumbai's almost ten hours
ahead of New York,

so I need to tell my private jet service

- to find me a pilot immediately.
- Thank you, Karen.

There's no time
for self-congratulations.

We have to get Brady to India.

Crash cart.

I got it.

- BP's dropping.
- He's crashing.

We got to get him to OR one, now.

I just stopped talking.

You want answers?

Just... just...

listen. Max, I need you

to stay out of my family.

I guess I thought that we were a family.

'Cause I don't know what I want.

I'm so...

sorry. Sorry...

- Max, watch out.
- Sorry, sorry.

It's okay.

I'm a little stuck in my head today.

Well, that's funny,
'cause I wished my staff

used their heads more today.

I had a patient population
of sex workers,

and it completely threw the entire ED.

- Mm.
- Rookie mistakes,

offensive jokes, microaggressions,

aggressive aggressions.

You know, I would be shocked
if any of them ever came back

here ever again and this is
New Amsterdam, you know?

Can you imagine how they get
treated anywhere else?

I might be able to help.

How?

Where do you buy your sponges?

As soon as he finishes
that game, we'll be gone.

I think you'd be making a big mistake.

Hmm.

That outburst you just saw,

that's how he responds to all change.

I'm talking about the smallest thing.

I mean, a bruise on a banana.

Mm-hmm.

And you are asking him

to change everything all at once.

No.

When the next person retires
or passes away,

that's when I'll replace them.

Well, what if that person is you?

There are people in place.

People from the list?

Yeah.

The regressions
that you're talking about,

the setbacks,

let Alex have them...

let him have them while you're
still here to help him through.

He didn't talk until he was eight.

Until then he would bite himself,

he would hit himself, he would scream,

he would thrash around on the floor.

Now, he goes to a job. He's got friends.

He's got a weekly poker game,

and-and we talk.

All the time, we talk.

I finally have my son,

and you want me to give all of that up.

Yeah, I do.

All I want...

with the time I have left

I just spend that time loving him

and him loving me.

I know, I know...

but, Grace, I-I'm only asking you to do

what I ask of all my parents.

I am asking you
to sacrifice your comfort,

your happiness to ensure that
Alex thrives without you.

And that sucks.

It is the cruelest part
of being a parent,

but you need to struggle now with Alex,

so Alex doesn't struggle
when you're gone.

Ooh.

Clamp.

Needle driver with 3-0 VICRYL.

- Richardson.
- We got a bleeder in there.

Got it.

Looks like that's the last one.

- Field is drying up nicely.
- Wait, wait, wait.

That's a sizeable tumor.

It's encasing the aorta.

- Can you resect it?
- Can you?

The cancer has spread
throughout Brady's body.

There's nothing more we can do.

We are so sorry.

There's no chance he can travel now.

I don't think anyone's wishes
are coming true today.

Hey, Alex.

Do you think maybe we could
pause the game for a sec?

Where's my mom?

She's right out there.
She's sitting right outside,

but she wanted us to have a chat.

I don't want you to be my therapist.

I want Dr. Lloyd to be my therapist.

Yeah. Yeah, I get that.

I get it, and I bet you're having some

pretty intense feelings
around Dr. Lloyd right now.

So why don't we pause the game

and we can just chat about them?

Dr. Lloyd lets me play games
when we talk.

Yeah, we'll do that sometimes too.

I love games, but right now,

maybe I can really use your focus.

Mom.

- Alex, just stick with me.
- Mom!

Okay, so you're having a big
feeling... big feeling right now.

Right? So why don't we try
to identify it?

- Is it anger?
- Um...

- no.
- Is it sad?

- No.
- Is it scared?

- Yes. I-I'm scared.
- Scared. Okay.

Why don't you try to give it a number?

All right? One is totally not scared.

Five is, like, really scared.

- Number four.
- Four. Okay.

That's... yeah, that's pretty scared,

but at least it's not a number five.

Yeah, you know this technique, right?

From Dr. Lloyd.

That's where I learned it too.

You know, you and I
can use this technique.

Yeah, Dr. Lloyd's techniques
help me identify my feelings.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Between you and me,

Dr. Lloyd does not deserve
all the credit there.

Or Dr. Hedlund or Dr. Alger.

Honestly, any of the doctors
you worked with.

You know who deserves the real credit?

You.

You made all the progress,

and so any doctor you work with
whether they're new, old,

they all have one thing in common.

You.

All right? Now, I'm just...
I'm here to help.

If you want it, you got it,
but the choice is yours.

Always.

Okay. Okay. Cool.

Family values are at the core
of everything we do,

and we're proud New Amsterdam

is part of the Wholesome family.

We couldn't be happier, Patrick.

You've got quite
the reputation, Dr. Goodwin.

People say you're something
of a social justice warrior

and that you'd never accept
our gracious offer.

Well, I try not to let
my personal opinions

stand in the way of my
patient's access to healthcare.

I appreciate that,

but we're not so different, Dr. Goodwin.

You've got your patients,
I've got my customers.

We both have strong brands,
but if we're to expand,

we have to dip our toes
into each other's water.

I couldn't agree more.

And with a little paint
and some staff training,

we'll get this up
and running in no time.

But I did make sure
that the sign was ready

for your arrival, so...

what do you think?

- Is this some kind of joke?
- No. Why?

Would you like your name bigger?

I would like our name
taken off right now.

- Hmm. Can we do that?
- No, we can't, Max.

I told you Wholesome's name
is the one nonnegotiable.

Hmm. Yeah, sorry. I did try. Believe me.

So you're trying to shame us

because you dislike our values.

Actually, the opposite.

We're trying to alleviate shame.

See, you picked this hospital
because you wanted

to legitimize your brand in the
eyes of those who aren't buying

what you're selling
literally and figuratively.

But sex workers are also
looking for legitimacy,

not just in what they do, but
in how they're treated for it.

And our job is to remove
the barriers between them

and good healthcare,
so while we are legitimizing

your brand, you are
legitimizing their profession.

It's a win-win and, um...

probably the most wholesome
thing you've ever done.

The Wholesome Sex Workers Clinic.

- You heard about that, huh?
- Did I hear about it?

The WSWC?

It's all anybody's talking about, man.

It's quintessential Max-ism, right?

Systemic change to help
vulnerable patients

with a nice, fat dallop
of poetic justice right on top.

Yeah, doubters can go home.

There is nothing that
Max Goodwin can't fix.

Except for one thing.

Right.

I just keep thinking about these moments

with Helen that I just kind of
brushed aside.

You know, the ones that
we never really figured out.

You know, if your feelings
for her change,

that's okay.

It's not that. I-I...

I still love her.

Ah.

You know, there was, like...

It was the best.

And there were just
so many good moments.

It made the bad moments
feel like nothing.

But I guess for Helen,

they might've been everything.

You know, she was dealing with a lot.

The truth about her family, who she was,

who she wanted to be.

Maybe she needed
to deal with that alone.

- She did.
- Yeah.

I know she did 'cause she told me,

but I just tried to fix it.

'Cause I wanted to fix it.

Well, the truth of the matter is

there are some problems that
aren't yours to repair.

So what do I do now?

Hey, listen, my man,

I'm sorry we couldn't get you to India,

but we got you a little something

to remind you of Bollywood.

Oh. Cool.

Oh, wow. Baby, you're gonna
look like Shah Rukh Khan.

Thanks, Dr. Reynolds.

You got it.

That was weird.

- What's happening?
- I don't know.

- You're just in time.
- For what?

We told you that
we couldn't take you to India

to star in a Bollywood musical, so...

we brought the Bollywood musical to you.

? Love you Zindagi ?

? Love you Zindagi ?

? Love me Zindagi ?

Hey.

So what do you think about me
sleeping in the spare room?

Um,

yes, of course,

but I should tell you something.

Who is it?

Hey. You must be Lauren.

Didn't you get my message?

I can't go out with you tonight.

That's why I brought tacos
to your place.

Come on.