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1
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:13,463
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
2
00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:37,854
Oh, honey, where have you been?
3
00:00:37,854 --> 00:00:39,856
What took you so long?
4
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:41,858
What do you mean, what took me so
long?
5
00:00:41,858 --> 00:00:43,226
I had to go all over town.
6
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:46,196
There's only one store in New York
City
7
00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:49,199
that makes a papaya juice milkshake.
8
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,621
Oh, thank you.
9
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:58,124
Mmm...
10
00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:00,126
Oh...
11
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,128
Did you get the dill pickle?
12
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,635
Lucy, are you sure that you want
to...?
13
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:09,502
That's right.
14
00:01:16,426 --> 00:01:17,927
Mmm...
15
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:32,325
Ricky?
16
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,327
Yes, dear.
17
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,830
Honey, I never asked you this before,
18
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,333
but what do you hope the baby's going
to be,
19
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,334
a boy or a girl?
20
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:46,172
You're going to be disappointed if it
isn't a boy, aren't you?
21
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,258
Oh, no, honey, don't be silly.
22
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:49,175
You will, too.
23
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,177
Every man wants a little boy
24
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,513
so he can see himself running around.
25
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,467
Well, I don't particularly.
26
00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:59,469
If it's a boy, I'll be happy,
27
00:01:59,469 --> 00:02:01,971
and if it's a girl I'll be happy,
too.
28
00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:03,306
I really don't care.
29
00:02:04,774 --> 00:02:05,775
Well, that's good.
30
00:02:05,775 --> 00:02:07,477
How do you feel about it, honey?
31
00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:13,066
I guess every woman wants a little
girl
32
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:16,069
so she can dress her up fancy and
fuss over her
33
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,371
and teach her how to catch a man.
34
00:02:20,156 --> 00:02:23,159
Well, maybe most women do, but I feel
just the way you do, Ricky.
35
00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:25,879
I don't care, boy or girl, doesn't
make any difference.
36
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,714
Oh, that's good.
37
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:30,717
Here, honey.
38
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,220
Thank you.
39
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,222
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
40
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,225
Oh, honey, what's in the package?
41
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,227
Oh, honey, nothing, nothing.
44
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,231
Well, it's spoiled now.
45
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:46,733
I might just as well open it.
46
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,234
But I don't want you...
47
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,571
So you have no preference, huh?
48
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,694
Well, that doesn't mean anything.
49
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,996
Lots of little girls play football,
too, you know.
50
00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:06,586
What are you going to name her, Rocky
Ricardo?
51
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:07,921
Come on, now.
52
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,423
Let's see what other feminine frills
53
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,424
we have here.
54
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:14,260
Havana U., 1974.
55
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:17,213
So it doesn't make any difference to
you,
56
00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:19,966
boy or girl, no preference, doesn't
matter.
57
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,352
All right, all right, so I'd rather
have a boy.
58
00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:23,186
Is that so terrible?
59
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:25,138
Now, give me the stuff, come on.
60
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,639
Oh, honey, now, don't get mad.
61
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,391
No, come on, you're making fun of me.
Aw, come on.
62
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:29,692
Sit down, honey.
63
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:32,145
Come on, sit down, baby, come on,
now.
64
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,622
Well...
65
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,574
If you dress my son in this,
66
00:03:44,574 --> 00:03:46,459
he'll need those boxing gloves.
67
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,463
Well, I guess it's true.
68
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,966
Women want girls and men want boys.
69
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,667
Yeah, I guess you're right.
70
00:03:57,887 --> 00:04:00,390
Havana U.?
71
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:01,891
What?
72
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:05,645
You mean you want our child to go to
Havana University?
73
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,013
Certainly.
74
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:10,516
Havana U., my old alma mater.
75
00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:13,519
Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful?
76
00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,655
Just think of it.
77
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,156
Our son.
78
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,658
Or daughter.
79
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,160
Walking the very same campus
80
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,162
where I used to walk.
81
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:27,166
And one day, after Havana wins the
big game
82
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,669
and holds the jai alai pennant,
83
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,171
we'll stand together and sing:
84
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,675
Arriba, arriba por Havana U.
85
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:39,128
No hay nadie en el mundo que sea como
tu
86
00:04:39,128 --> 00:04:42,966
Rah, rah, viva, rah, rah, rah
87
00:04:42,966 --> 00:04:45,468
Havana, Havana U., ole!
88
00:04:55,144 --> 00:04:58,147
Yeah, well, that's fine, dear, from
your point of you,
89
00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:00,033
but... gee, I don't know, Havana?
90
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,985
What's the matter with Havana?
91
00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:02,986
Well, nothing,
92
00:05:03,486 --> 00:05:04,988
but we have a couple little red
schoolhouses
93
00:05:04,988 --> 00:05:06,489
in this country, too, you know.
94
00:05:06,489 --> 00:05:09,492
Well, honey, let's not worry about
it.
95
00:05:09,826 --> 00:05:10,743
The main thing is
96
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:12,745
that our child will go to college.
Yeah.
97
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:15,214
You know, I've been giving this a lot
of thought, Ricky.
98
00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:18,718
It's a big responsibility having a
baby and bringing up a child.
99
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:21,054
You know all the questions they ask.
100
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,890
You have to give them a right answer,
too.
101
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,892
Gee, I don't know if I'm gonna be
able to do it.
102
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,894
Oh, honey, sure you will.
103
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,395
Well, I don't know.
104
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,898
You know the kind of questions
children ask.
105
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,400
Suppose our child asks something
simple like,
106
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:38,905
"Mommy, where does rain come from?"
107
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:41,407
"Where does rain come from?
108
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,409
"Well, I don't know, dear.
109
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,912
Your mommy's a dumbbell."
110
00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:46,913
Oh, honey,
111
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,415
you're just being ridiculous.
112
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,416
I am not.
113
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,919
Of course, there's always one good
answer:
114
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,420
"Ask your daddy, dear.
115
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,422
He can explain it better than I can."
116
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,425
"Daddy, where does rain come from?"
117
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,427
Well, dear, it's very simple.
118
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,929
You see, the water...
119
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,431
Well, first of all,
120
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,934
there are the clouds, see.
121
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,435
And the clo...
122
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,939
The moisture in the air...
123
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:16,943
See what I mean?
124
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,444
We have to do something about this.
125
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,947
Oh, honey, you're just exaggerating
the whole thing.
126
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,448
I am not.
127
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,450
And I'm going to start studying right
now.
128
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,452
When I get through, I want my child
to think
129
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,955
that its mother is a walking book of
knowledge.
130
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,373
(chuckling)
131
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:41,167
Hi, honey.
132
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,469
Good evening.
133
00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:46,923
Oh, when you get started on
something,
134
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:48,925
you really go through with it, don't
you?
135
00:06:50,426 --> 00:06:52,929
Oh, boy, am I pooped.
136
00:06:52,929 --> 00:06:55,431
Well, this is indeed distressing
news.
137
00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:59,435
To what do you attribute your
plethora of fatigue?
138
00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:03,189
The enervating activities of your
nocturnal occupation?
139
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,325
What?
140
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,611
I said, this is indeed distressing
news.
141
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:11,497
To what do you attribute your
plethora of fatigue?
142
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:14,367
I heard you the first time, but what
language is it?
143
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:19,338
It's the language I want our child to
learn: good English.
144
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:20,840
That's English?
145
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,792
Yes.
146
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,294
Funny thing-- when it's spoken
correctly,
147
00:07:25,294 --> 00:07:26,796
you don't even recognize it, do you?
148
00:07:27,296 --> 00:07:29,298
You know, I had no idea how sloppy my
speech was
149
00:07:29,799 --> 00:07:31,551
until I started reading this book.
150
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,935
Oh, brother.
151
00:07:32,935 --> 00:07:33,936
No, really, it's true.
152
00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:36,439
But they have a wonderful exercise
153
00:07:36,439 --> 00:07:37,223
to correct it.
154
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,642
"How do you do, Mrs. Smith?
155
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:42,145
"How do you do, Mrs. Jones?
156
00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:45,148
"And how are all your adorable
children?
157
00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:47,150
"Quite well, thank you.
158
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:50,153
"And how is your sister Cynthia?
159
00:07:50,153 --> 00:07:53,406
Sister Cynthia is simply
scintillating."
160
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,578
Now, Lucy, you're not going to teach
our child
161
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:00,079
to talk that way, are you?
162
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,582
I certainly am.
From the time our child is born,
163
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,334
it's not going to hear anything but
perfect English.
164
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:07,637
Well, honey, it's a very nice
thought,
165
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:10,640
but as usual you have no logical
'splanation
166
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:13,142
for doin' it the way you're doin' it.
167
00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,148
What did you say?
168
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,901
You heard what I said.
169
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,737
"As usual, there's no logical
'splanation
170
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:27,240
for doin' it the way you're doin'
it."
171
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,741
Ricky, promise me something.
172
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,243
What?
173
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,246
Promise me that until our child is at
least 19 or 20 years old,
174
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,580
you won't talk to it.
175
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:38,951
What?
176
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,204
What's the matter with the way I
talk?
177
00:08:41,204 --> 00:08:43,005
Well, I haven't told you this before,
dear,
178
00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:45,007
but you speak with a slight accent.
179
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:49,262
You can understand me, can't you?
180
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,429
Well, now, yes.
181
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:52,932
I've learned to listen with an
accent.
182
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,935
But when we first started going
together, it was just...
183
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,437
Well, do you remember when you
proposed?
Yeah.
184
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:01,941
Well, it was a stab in the dark
when... when I said yes.
185
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,442
I wasn't sure that you'd asked me to
get married
186
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:04,727
or go to a movie.
187
00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,531
Do you mean to tell me
188
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:11,534
that I could have gotten out of this
whole deal
189
00:09:11,534 --> 00:09:13,402
by just taking you to a movie?
190
00:09:16,906 --> 00:09:18,908
Ricky Ricardo.
191
00:09:18,908 --> 00:09:20,910
Here, honey, I'll show you what I
mean.
192
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:22,411
Now, you take this book
193
00:09:22,411 --> 00:09:23,913
and pretend that our child has come
to you and said,
194
00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:25,915
"Daddy, read me a good-night story."
195
00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:26,916
All right.
196
00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:28,251
There you are, Daddy.
197
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:33,172
"Once upon a time in the woods live a
peasant.
198
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,675
"He was a good man with a noble
heart.
199
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:38,177
"He spent his time in the forest
200
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,980
cutting down booges from the trees."
201
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:43,266
"Cutting wood..." Wait a minute.
202
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:44,267
Wait, wait, wait, just a minute.
203
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:45,268
What is this "booges?"
204
00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:49,238
"Booges," right in there.
205
00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,240
That's "boughs."
206
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,828
B-O-U-G-H is "bough?"
207
00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:56,746
Right.
208
00:09:58,281 --> 00:10:00,283
Bough.
209
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:03,286
"He spent his time in the forest
cutting down boughs
210
00:10:03,286 --> 00:10:04,787
"from the trees.
211
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:09,292
"Cutting wood all day made his hands
strong and row.
212
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,210
One day..."
213
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:14,714
That's "rough."
214
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:18,718
Spelled the same way as the other:
O-U-G-H.
215
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,303
That's right.
216
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:22,605
That shows how little you know about
the English language.
217
00:10:22,605 --> 00:10:25,691
So I made a little mistake.
218
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,528
"Made his hands strong and rough.
219
00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:34,533
"One day he cut wood so fast that by
3:00 in the afternoon,
220
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,036
"his day's work was thruff.
221
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,458
When the..."
222
00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,460
Hold it, Shakespeare.
223
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,413
Thraugh?
224
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:51,717
T-h-r-o-u-g-h is pronounced
"through."
225
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,170
Through, that's what I always say.
226
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,172
Now, stop picking on me, will you?
227
00:10:56,172 --> 00:10:58,674
You're getting me all confuse.
228
00:10:58,674 --> 00:11:00,676
"His day's work was through.
229
00:11:00,676 --> 00:11:03,179
"It started to rain on the way home,
230
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,682
"and he got so wet that his nose
became red
231
00:11:06,682 --> 00:11:09,185
and he developed a hacking..."
232
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,358
"coo?"
233
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,616
Well, I know it can't be "cow."
234
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:28,921
It's "cough."
235
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:29,789
Oh, that did it.
236
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,290
I had enough.
237
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,794
Or should I say "enu"?
238
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:36,679
No, enough.
239
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,130
Enough.
240
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,635
I don't see why you have to have such
a crazy language anyway.
241
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:46,522
In Spanish you don't have all those
"ow," "oh," "oo,"
242
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,391
"off," "oof" sounds.
243
00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:51,360
In Spanish, you got a sound, it
sounds the same all the time.
244
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,863
You write it the same way, it sounds
the same way.
245
00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:56,148
No matter where you put it, it comes
out the same way.
246
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,486
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
247
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,956
I tell you what we're gonna do.
248
00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,376
We're gonna teach our child to speak
Spanish.
249
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:08,294
Spanish!
250
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,295
That's right.
251
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,746
And what's more,
252
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,582
I don't want you to talk to the kid
until he's 21 years old.
253
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:21,724
Our child is going to learn to speak
English,
254
00:12:22,224 --> 00:12:23,726
but first we have to learn.
255
00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:25,728
We're going to hire a tutor.
256
00:12:26,228 --> 00:12:27,229
A tutor?
257
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,231
That's right.
258
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:32,234
And you and I and Fred and Ethel will
take lessons.
259
00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:34,737
Fred and Ethel?
260
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:36,238
How did they get into the act?
261
00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:37,740
Well, they're gonna be around here a
lot,
262
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,242
and I want anyone who's gonna
converse with my child
263
00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:41,744
to speak perfect English.
264
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:44,330
Now, Lucy, that is the most
ridiculous thing I ever heard...
265
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,831
Now, honey, my mind is made up...
266
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:48,334
I had enough trouble learning how to
speak American.
267
00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:04,049
ETHEL: Hi, Lucy.
268
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,050
Hi.
269
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,051
Is the tutor here yet?
270
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:08,053
No, not yet. He ought to be here any
minute.
271
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,555
I'm fixing the classroom, see?
272
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,056
Oh!
273
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,059
Say, Lucy, aren't tutors awful
expensive?
274
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,562
How did you get Ricky to agree to pay
for one?
275
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,064
I didn't. I told him it wouldn't cost
him a cent.
276
00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:20,065
Huh?
277
00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:21,567
Well, you see, when Mr. Livermore
called me,
278
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,569
he just happened to mention that he
would be interested...
279
00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:25,070
RICKY: Lucy!
Yeah, dear?
280
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,072
Are the Mertzes here yet?
Ethel's here.
281
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:30,576
Hi, Ethel.
Hi.
282
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,578
Where's Fred?
Isn't he coming?
283
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:35,581
Yeah, he's coming all right, but he
kicked like a steer.
284
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:36,582
Well, is he coming?
285
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,083
Look, if Fred doesn't come, I don't
want to...
286
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:39,084
He'll be here, Ricky.
287
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,085
He had on dirty overalls,
288
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,086
and I made him change his clothes.
289
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:42,588
(doorbell buzzes)
290
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,590
That must be Mr. Livermore now.
291
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,347
School days, school days, dear old
golden rule days
292
00:13:51,847 --> 00:13:53,349
Reading and writing and 'rithmetic
(Ricky laughing hysterically)
293
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,851
Taught to the tune of a hickory stick
294
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:57,853
You were my bashful barefoot beau
295
00:13:57,853 --> 00:13:59,355
Wrote on my slate, "I love you,
Joe"...
296
00:13:59,855 --> 00:14:00,856
Fred Mertz!
297
00:14:00,856 --> 00:14:02,358
(laughing)
298
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:04,860
Oh, Fred, that's wonderful.
299
00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:07,363
What do you think you're doing?
300
00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:08,364
Now, you two stop.
301
00:14:08,864 --> 00:14:09,865
This is serious.
302
00:14:09,865 --> 00:14:12,368
All right, Buster Brown, go
downstairs
303
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:13,869
and get out of that silly outfit.
304
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,754
All right, all right!
305
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,756
See you at recess, Rick.
306
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:19,592
Last one to the teeter-totter's a
rotten egg.
307
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:20,960
(laughing)
308
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,961
I was your queen in calico
309
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:23,963
You were my bashful barefoot beau
310
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:24,964
Why-ay-ay...
311
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,602
How do you do?
312
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,469
How do you do?
313
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:32,438
Are you Mister...
314
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,939
I'm Mr. Livermore.
315
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,724
Oh, come in, please. Please.
316
00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:37,059
I-I'm Mrs. Ricardo.
317
00:14:37,059 --> 00:14:38,060
Charmed.
318
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,562
Pleased to meetcha.
319
00:14:39,562 --> 00:14:41,063
Meetcha?
320
00:14:41,063 --> 00:14:43,566
The phrase is "meet you."
321
00:14:43,566 --> 00:14:44,984
Meet you.
322
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,485
Meet you.
323
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:47,987
Meet... I'm glad to meet you.
324
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:49,488
Meet you.
325
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,241
Uh, I'd like you to meet your other
pupils.
326
00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:54,910
This is Mrs. Mertz.
327
00:14:54,910 --> 00:14:56,412
Howdja do?
328
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,833
Are you, by any chance, endeavoring
to pronounce
329
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,835
"How do you do?"
330
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:05,137
Yeah-- uh, yes.
331
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,556
Uh, and this is Fred Mertz.
332
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:10,309
Howdja do?
333
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:11,594
You see, Mrs. Mertz,
334
00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:14,096
you've transmitted your bad
enunciation
335
00:15:14,096 --> 00:15:14,930
to your son here.
336
00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:16,732
(Ricky laughs)
337
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,073
Ow, you hurt me, Mommy.
338
00:15:24,073 --> 00:15:26,358
Oh, behave yourself.
339
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,243
He isn't my son.
340
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:29,194
He's my husband.
341
00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:32,498
My word.
342
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:37,419
Either way, it presents an appalling
prospect.
343
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,922
You don't understand, Mr. Livermore.
344
00:15:39,922 --> 00:15:41,924
You see, Fred is dressed like that
345
00:15:41,924 --> 00:15:43,258
because he's going back to school.
346
00:15:43,258 --> 00:15:45,210
It's his idea of a little joke.
347
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,212
(laughs)
348
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,214
Oh?
349
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:52,434
Uh, this is my husband, Ricky
Ricardo.
350
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:53,936
It is a great pleasure
351
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,938
to make your acquaintance, Mr.
Ricardo.
352
00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,440
Hi. I just want you to know that the
only reason
353
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,942
I'm only doing this is to keep her
happy
354
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,443
because she's going to have a baby in
February.
355
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:02,444
But to tell you the truth,
356
00:16:02,945 --> 00:16:04,446
this whole thing is ridiculous to me,
357
00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:06,315
and the whole routine, I don't want
any part of it.
358
00:16:17,826 --> 00:16:19,912
What did he say?
359
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,246
Well, he was just trying to...
360
00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:22,247
What's the matter with you?
361
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,298
Don't you understand English?
362
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,718
We'd better get started immediately.
363
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,086
There's more to do here than I
thought.
364
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:29,588
Places, everybody.
365
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,090
Is he making fun of me?
366
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,091
No. Shh! Shush!
367
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,595
LIVERMORE: Attention, class.
368
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:40,566
Inasmuch as we are faced here with a
state of emergency,
369
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,569
I will dispense with the traditional
oath of allegiance
370
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,070
and good-morning song.
371
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,576
To properly enunciate,
372
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:54,580
we must practice first saying our
vowels.
373
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,582
Repeat after me, please.
374
00:16:56,582 --> 00:17:01,420
A, E, I, O, U.
375
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,372
A, A, A, Ah,
376
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:04,373
E, E, E, Eh,
377
00:17:04,873 --> 00:17:05,374
I, I, I, Ee,
378
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:06,875
O, O, O, Oh,
379
00:17:06,875 --> 00:17:08,127
U, U, U, Ooh.
380
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,796
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh.
381
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,297
Mr. Ricardo, please, alone.
382
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,603
Ah, eh, ee, oh, ooh.
383
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:22,441
Mr. Ricardo, wherever did you acquire
384
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,276
that odd pronunciation?
385
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,228
I went to school in Cuba.
386
00:17:26,729 --> 00:17:27,946
What's your 'scuse?
387
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,986
Ricky, apologize!
388
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,487
Apologize!
389
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,872
Okay, okay, I'm...
390
00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:38,323
No, no, just a moment.
391
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,825
Did you say "okay?"
392
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:40,993
Yeah.
393
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:44,830
We must rid our speech of slang.
394
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:48,834
Now, besides "okay," I want you all
to promise me
395
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:51,336
that there are two words that you
will never use.
396
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,722
One of these is "swell" and the other
one is "lousy."
397
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:57,226
Okay, what are they?
398
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:06,185
One of them is "swell" and the other
one is "lousy."
399
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:09,071
Well, give us the lousy one first.
400
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:18,247
I don't believe you quite understand.
401
00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:22,251
Don't bother to explain, Mr.
Livermore.
402
00:18:22,251 --> 00:18:24,253
Just tell us what the words are
403
00:18:24,253 --> 00:18:25,003
and we won't use them.
No.
404
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,340
But don't you see? The word...
405
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:29,842
Well, the other...
406
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,630
May I have a glass of water, please?
407
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:35,631
Okay.
408
00:18:36,131 --> 00:18:37,132
I-I mean yes.
409
00:18:37,132 --> 00:18:39,134
Would you help me, Ethel,
410
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,435
get a pitcher and some glasses?
Yes.
411
00:18:40,435 --> 00:18:41,854
I would say "okay."
412
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:45,224
That's a swell way to get off to a
lousy start.
413
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,447
Mr. Ricardo, perhaps this would be a
good time
414
00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:53,949
to discuss our song.
415
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:55,951
Our song?
416
00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:57,703
Well, at least my song.
417
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,538
You see, I'm referring to the
business deal
418
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:00,873
your wife and I made.
419
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,324
Don't you understand?
420
00:19:02,324 --> 00:19:05,327
In lieu of the remuneration for my
tutelage,
421
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:07,830
I am to be permitted to introduce my
talents
422
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,665
into your nocturnal bistro.
423
00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:12,084
Hey, hey, I think I got it, Rick.
424
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,586
Instead of you paying him, this guy's
gonna sing
425
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,088
in your nightclub.
Yes.
426
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:20,058
You want to sing at the Tropicana?
427
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,177
Thank you, I'd love to.
428
00:19:22,177 --> 00:19:26,181
I tippy-tippy-toe through my garden
429
00:19:26,181 --> 00:19:29,184
Where all the pretty flowers dwell
430
00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:32,187
Wait a minute...
There's a rare perfume in my
garden...
431
00:19:32,187 --> 00:19:33,689
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
432
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,190
Hold it. Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
433
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:36,191
I don't know what...
Ricky, what's the matter?
434
00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:37,693
What's the matter?
What's going on, dear?
435
00:19:37,693 --> 00:19:39,444
Well, I was singing my little ditty
436
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:40,829
for your husband...
You mean to tell me
437
00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:42,614
that you actually promised this
character
438
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:44,366
that he was going to sing at the
club?
439
00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:45,834
Yes, isn't it wonderful?
440
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:48,837
And we're going to get six months'
English lessons free.
441
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:51,757
I don't care we're gonna get English
lessons free
442
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:52,758
for the rest of our lives.
443
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,760
He's not gonna sing in my club.
444
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:55,544
Well!
445
00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:56,378
But, Ricky, that isn't fair.
446
00:19:56,879 --> 00:19:58,380
You haven't even heard the song.
447
00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,882
I heard the song.
448
00:20:00,382 --> 00:20:02,718
"Tippy-tippy-toe." Ay-yi-yi-yi.
449
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:04,686
Well, I think you owe Mr. Livermore
the courtesy
450
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:06,688
of at least hearing it through once.
451
00:20:06,688 --> 00:20:08,190
Now, after all, it's going to sound a
lot better
452
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:09,691
down at the club, with the lights on
453
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:12,060
and all of us singing with him and
everything...
454
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:14,062
BOTH: All of us singing?!
455
00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:15,063
What do you mean, all of us singing?
456
00:20:15,063 --> 00:20:16,281
Now, just a minute.
457
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:17,783
He's worked up a very cute little
act,
458
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,284
he's got it all figured out,
459
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:22,287
and I think the least we could do is
listen
460
00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,289
and I insist that we try it now.
461
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,290
Thank you.
462
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,292
Now, this is the way I start.
463
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,293
Mr. Mertz, please.
464
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,795
I stand here,
465
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,798
Mr. and Mrs. Ricardo there, Mr. and
Mrs. Mertz there.
466
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:33,799
(clears throat)
467
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,635
And I sing the verse first.
468
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,306
(clears throat)
469
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:45,811
I tippy-tippy-toe through my garden
470
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:48,814
Where all the pretty flowers dwell
471
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:53,735
There's a rare perfume in my garden
472
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:59,241
And I just love to stand there and
smell
473
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,331
And as...
474
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,833
Now you come back here.
475
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,334
You come right back here.
476
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,169
You haven't heard the best part yet.
477
00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,838
That's obvious, yeah.
478
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,123
Now come on back here, right where
you were, all of you.
479
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,131
Go ahead, Mr. Livermore.
480
00:21:23,131 --> 00:21:24,633
Thank you.
481
00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:29,137
And as I tippy-tippy-toe along
482
00:21:29,137 --> 00:21:33,141
All the pretty flowers seem to sing
this song.
483
00:21:33,141 --> 00:21:35,143
Now, here's where you come in.
484
00:21:35,143 --> 00:21:37,145
Here's one for each.
485
00:21:37,145 --> 00:21:39,147
Ladies first, of course.
486
00:21:40,148 --> 00:21:42,150
Now, you sing when I point to you.
487
00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:43,652
Now I'll sing what I just sang again.
488
00:21:43,652 --> 00:21:44,653
(clears throat)
489
00:21:46,154 --> 00:21:49,658
And as I tippy-tippy-toe along
490
00:21:49,658 --> 00:21:54,162
All the pretty flowers seem to sing
this song
491
00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:58,216
Darry-down pip-pip
492
00:21:58,216 --> 00:21:59,584
Dilly-dilly day
493
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:03,388
Hey, nonny-nonny
494
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:06,174
Rippity-pippity ay
495
00:22:09,144 --> 00:22:10,645
Now comes the cute part.
496
00:22:11,146 --> 00:22:13,148
You begin first this time, Mr. Mertz.
497
00:22:14,483 --> 00:22:16,818
Darry-down ding-dong
498
00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:18,770
Dilly-dilly doo
499
00:22:19,521 --> 00:22:21,823
Hey, nonny-nonny
500
00:22:22,824 --> 00:22:25,327
Rippity-pippity poo
501
00:22:27,329 --> 00:22:28,830
That's all, brother, I had it.
502
00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:29,781
Ricky, Ricky...
You can...
503
00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:30,782
ETHEL: Oh, Lucy...
504
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,834
(all talking at once)
505
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:39,624
Sit down, won't you?
506
00:22:41,626 --> 00:22:42,127
Hey, Rick.
507
00:22:42,627 --> 00:22:43,128
Yeah, hi, Fred.
508
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:44,629
Ethel tells me
509
00:22:44,629 --> 00:22:46,431
you're going through with this silly
thing.
510
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:49,101
Yeah, I told Lucy that I was going to
last night.
511
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:50,435
See? Where is Lucy?
512
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:51,937
She's in the bedroom.
513
00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:54,439
What's the matter with you?
514
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:57,275
I believe you've finally cracked your
Cuban crock.
515
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:03,615
Look, Fred, will you trust me, huh?
516
00:23:03,615 --> 00:23:05,617
I got a plan, I got it all figured
out,
517
00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:07,452
and I think it'll work perfect.
518
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:09,871
I made a deal with Mr. Livermore.
519
00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:11,873
Yes, but I'm afraid I've sullied my
principles
520
00:23:11,873 --> 00:23:13,875
by accepting your scheme, Mr.
Ricardo.
521
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:16,378
Now, remember, you guaranteed to get
me auditions
522
00:23:16,878 --> 00:23:18,130
with every record company in town.
523
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,499
Look, you just hold your end of the
bargain
524
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,000
and I'll take care of mine.
Don't you worry.
525
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,002
Will you please tell me what's going
on?
526
00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:26,505
Relax, will you?
You'll see.
527
00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:28,006
Lucy!
528
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:31,510
LUCY: Yes, dear Coming.
529
00:23:34,513 --> 00:23:36,932
Oh, hello, Mr. Livermore.
530
00:23:36,932 --> 00:23:37,933
Hi, Fred.
Hi, Lucy.
531
00:23:38,433 --> 00:23:39,434
What's the matter, dear?
Is something wrong?
532
00:23:39,434 --> 00:23:40,652
I didn't expect you home so soon.
533
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:41,987
Oh, no, no, honey, nothing is wrong.
534
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,489
Everything is fine.
The orchestrations are wonderful.
535
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,991
We just thought that we'd come home
536
00:23:46,491 --> 00:23:48,493
and get a good, uninterrupted singing
rehearsal.
537
00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:49,861
Oh, well, that's nice.
538
00:23:49,861 --> 00:23:52,364
You know something, Lucy?
You were right.
539
00:23:52,364 --> 00:23:55,867
I can't 'splain it, but this guy
grows on you.
540
00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:57,702
Aw...
541
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,005
Well, I knew you'd like him.
542
00:24:00,005 --> 00:24:01,506
Yeah, no kiddin'.
543
00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:04,509
He dun't know what a real nice guy he
is.
544
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:06,378
He dun't either.
545
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,182
What did you say?
546
00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:13,385
I said he dun't either.
547
00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:15,887
I can't 'splain it, but...
548
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,190
He's a swell guy.
549
00:24:20,108 --> 00:24:21,359
Oh, no.
550
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,361
Ah, listen, you should hear him get
going
551
00:24:23,361 --> 00:24:24,362
when he gets ahold of a good song.
552
00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,648
He really goes-- he's good, this guy.
553
00:24:26,648 --> 00:24:28,200
Oh, Percy, come on, go ahead.
554
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:29,317
LIVERMORE: Well...
555
00:24:29,317 --> 00:24:30,619
Bum...
556
00:24:30,619 --> 00:24:32,120
Babaloo
557
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,121
Bum...
558
00:24:33,121 --> 00:24:34,456
Babaloo
559
00:24:34,456 --> 00:24:36,208
RICKY: Bum...
560
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,492
Babaloo ay yay...
561
00:24:37,492 --> 00:24:38,994
That a boy! Give it to them, Percy.
562
00:24:39,494 --> 00:24:40,495
Yay...
563
00:24:40,495 --> 00:24:42,998
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.
564
00:24:42,998 --> 00:24:43,999
It won't work. It won't work.
565
00:24:44,499 --> 00:24:45,383
What won't work?
566
00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:46,835
It was a battle of the accents,
567
00:24:46,835 --> 00:24:47,836
and Mr. Livermore lost.
568
00:24:48,336 --> 00:24:49,337
It won't work.
Just forget it.
569
00:24:49,337 --> 00:24:50,839
But honey, I got the orchestratings
570
00:24:51,339 --> 00:24:52,841
and everything's fine...
571
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:08,690
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
572
00:25:08,690 --> 00:25:12,694
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
573
00:26:03,245 --> 00:26:05,747
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
39572
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