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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,469
(music)
2
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(theme music playing)
3
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(theme music ending)
4
00:00:31,648 --> 00:00:33,149
No!
5
00:00:33,149 --> 00:00:34,651
Really, Marge?
6
00:00:34,651 --> 00:00:38,154
Well, confidentially, I've suspected
that right along.
7
00:00:38,154 --> 00:00:39,155
I have, I have.
8
00:00:39,155 --> 00:00:40,657
You know what I've always thought
9
00:00:40,657 --> 00:00:41,658
about Betty and Jack.
10
00:00:41,658 --> 00:00:42,659
Yeah, well, I've always said
11
00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:44,661
if there was ever anything in the
world...
12
00:00:44,661 --> 00:00:49,165
Lucy, Lucy, for goodness sakes, get
off the phone.
13
00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:51,167
Pardon me, Marge.
14
00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,669
Did you say something. Ricky?
15
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:55,672
Yes, I said, "Lucy, for goodness
sakes, get off the phone."
16
00:00:55,672 --> 00:00:56,673
Oh.
17
00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:58,675
Hello, Marge, bad connection.
18
00:01:00,176 --> 00:01:01,177
Where were we?
19
00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:02,679
Oh, yeah, Betty.
20
00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:05,181
Yeah, uh-huh...
21
00:01:05,181 --> 00:01:07,684
She didn't!
22
00:01:07,684 --> 00:01:09,185
She didn't!
23
00:01:10,186 --> 00:01:12,689
She didn't!
24
00:01:13,189 --> 00:01:14,691
She couldn't!
25
00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:18,194
Maybe that's why she didn't.
26
00:01:23,199 --> 00:01:25,201
Oh, keep quiet.
27
00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:26,703
No, not you, Marge.
28
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:30,707
Well, honey, I never would have
thought that of Betty.
29
00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:32,208
Oh, good-bye, Marge.
30
00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:35,211
I'm surprised the phone hasn't grown
to your ear.
31
00:01:35,211 --> 00:01:36,713
Oh...
32
00:01:38,214 --> 00:01:39,716
Lucy, why did you stop?
33
00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:43,219
Don't tell me you got tired of taking
Betty apart?
34
00:01:43,219 --> 00:01:44,220
Who got tired?
35
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,722
Marge had to hang up.
36
00:01:45,722 --> 00:01:47,724
Betty just walked in.
37
00:01:50,226 --> 00:01:52,729
Gee, I wonder what they're saying
about me.
38
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:57,734
Lucy, I want to speak to you about
goss'ping.
39
00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,736
"Gossping"?
40
00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:02,739
Yes, I think that gossiping is
vicious and petty
41
00:02:02,739 --> 00:02:06,242
and I think a gossip is the lowest
form of human life.
42
00:02:06,242 --> 00:02:08,745
Oh, so do I.
43
00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:11,247
You don't seem to get my message.
44
00:02:12,749 --> 00:02:14,751
I was talking about you.
45
00:02:14,751 --> 00:02:15,752
Me gossip?
46
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:18,254
What do you call what you were doing
on the phone?
47
00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:19,756
Well, it wasn't gossiping.
48
00:02:19,756 --> 00:02:21,257
I prefer to think of it
49
00:02:21,257 --> 00:02:24,260
as a mutual exchange of vital
information.
50
00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:25,261
Ay...
51
00:02:25,261 --> 00:02:26,763
Anyway, she was gossiping.
52
00:02:26,763 --> 00:02:27,764
I was just listening.
53
00:02:27,764 --> 00:02:31,768
Lucy, you remember the old saying
54
00:02:31,768 --> 00:02:34,771
"Birds of a feather smell the same"?
55
00:02:37,774 --> 00:02:41,778
You mean, "A rose by any other name
flocks together."
56
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,782
Yeah.
57
00:02:45,782 --> 00:02:46,783
Well, anyway, I was just listening.
58
00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:49,786
It isn't gossip unless I tell it to
someone else.
59
00:02:49,786 --> 00:02:51,788
Well, that shouldn't take very long.
60
00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:54,791
Are you implying that I can't keep my
mouth shut?
61
00:02:54,791 --> 00:02:55,792
Yeah.
62
00:02:55,792 --> 00:02:57,293
Well, you'll find out.
63
00:02:57,293 --> 00:03:00,296
Nobody's going to get this
information from me.
64
00:03:00,296 --> 00:03:01,297
My lips are sealed.
65
00:03:01,297 --> 00:03:02,799
(snickers)
66
00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:05,802
Uh, Fred and Ethel are coming up
tonight.
67
00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:08,304
I don't care, my lips are sealed.
68
00:03:08,304 --> 00:03:09,806
This I got to see.
69
00:03:09,806 --> 00:03:10,807
You will.
70
00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:12,308
(doorbell buzzing)
71
00:03:12,308 --> 00:03:14,310
Let them in, I'll be right back.
72
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:15,311
All right.
73
00:03:18,314 --> 00:03:19,315
Hi, Ricky.
74
00:03:19,315 --> 00:03:20,316
Hi.
75
00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:21,818
I'm sorry we're late.
76
00:03:21,818 --> 00:03:22,819
I was fixing my hair.
77
00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:24,821
Hey, Rick, is your phone out of
order?
78
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:26,823
I've been trying to get you for an
hour and a half.
79
00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:28,825
Yeah, well, I know.
Lucy's been on the phone
80
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:30,827
for an hour and a half talking to
Marge.
81
00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:31,828
Oh.
82
00:03:31,828 --> 00:03:34,831
She's been getting all the details
83
00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:36,833
in some nice, juicy gossip.
84
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:38,835
Really?
85
00:03:38,835 --> 00:03:41,838
Who was it?
When did it happen?
Who did what?
86
00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:44,841
Oh, come on, Ethel, reel in your
antenna.
87
00:03:47,343 --> 00:03:48,344
Quiet.
88
00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:49,846
Come on, Ricky, give out.
89
00:03:49,846 --> 00:03:51,347
Uh-uh.
90
00:03:51,347 --> 00:03:53,850
Well, Lucy will tell me.
91
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,351
I don't know about that.
92
00:03:55,351 --> 00:03:57,854
She said she wouldn't say a word.
93
00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,355
She said her lips are sealed.
94
00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:00,857
Huh?
95
00:04:05,361 --> 00:04:08,364
Oh, boy, I'll say they're sealed.
96
00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:09,866
Hey, I kind of like that.
97
00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:12,869
How come you never went in for one of
those?
98
00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:14,871
Oh, shut up.
99
00:04:14,871 --> 00:04:17,373
Lucy, Ricky says you know
100
00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:19,375
a nice piece of juicy gossip.
101
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:20,877
Well, tell me.
102
00:04:20,877 --> 00:04:22,378
Oh, darn it!
103
00:04:22,378 --> 00:04:24,380
This is liable to be real good, Fred.
104
00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:26,382
Would you care to join me in a
ringside seat.
105
00:04:26,382 --> 00:04:27,383
Thank you.
106
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:30,386
ETHEL: Oh, this is maddening.
107
00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:32,889
Who's it about, Lucy?
108
00:04:32,889 --> 00:04:33,890
Madge?
109
00:04:37,393 --> 00:04:38,895
Uh... Blanche?
110
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:39,896
Um...
111
00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:41,397
Dorothy?
112
00:04:41,397 --> 00:04:43,399
Um...
113
00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:45,401
Luanne?
114
00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:46,402
Uh, Betty?
115
00:04:46,402 --> 00:04:48,404
It's about Betty?
116
00:04:48,404 --> 00:04:49,906
Um...
117
00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:51,407
Uh, Betty and who?
118
00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:54,410
Betty and Fred?
119
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:55,912
No...
120
00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:57,413
Betty and Ricky?
121
00:04:57,413 --> 00:04:58,915
Oh!
122
00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:03,419
Betty and her husband, Jack!
123
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:05,922
Oh, Betty and her husband Jack, yeah!
124
00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:06,923
Um...
125
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:08,925
what happened?
126
00:05:09,926 --> 00:05:11,427
They had a fight?
127
00:05:11,427 --> 00:05:14,430
What did they... what did they fight
about?
128
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,935
A vase?
129
00:05:21,437 --> 00:05:22,939
A woman?
130
00:05:22,939 --> 00:05:24,440
Another woman?
131
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,444
Betty and her husband, Jack, had a
fight
132
00:05:28,444 --> 00:05:30,446
about another woman? Oh...
133
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:31,948
RICKY: Lucy, you promised you wasn't
going
134
00:05:31,948 --> 00:05:33,449
to say anything to Ethel about it.
135
00:05:33,449 --> 00:05:35,451
You're breaking your promise.
136
00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,453
I don't care
137
00:05:37,453 --> 00:05:38,955
if you're not saying anything.
138
00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:39,956
You're still gossiping.
139
00:05:39,956 --> 00:05:40,957
Don't stop her now.
140
00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:43,459
I haven't found out what happened.
141
00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:44,961
How did Betty find out
142
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:46,963
about Jack and the other woman?
143
00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:51,467
Who are you?
144
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:52,969
A man?
145
00:05:52,969 --> 00:05:53,970
Her husband, Jack!
146
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,972
Yeah, her husband, Jack...
147
00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:56,973
and Betty.
148
00:05:57,473 --> 00:05:57,974
No, no...
149
00:05:58,474 --> 00:05:58,975
the other woman!
150
00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:01,477
Jack and the other woman!
151
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:03,479
Were out dancing?
152
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,982
And drinking?
153
00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:07,984
(gasps): And kissing?
154
00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:08,985
Oh!
155
00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:10,987
How'd Betty find out about it?
156
00:06:11,487 --> 00:06:12,989
Now, they were dancing...
157
00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:16,993
Yeah, Jack and the other woman are
dancing...
158
00:06:16,993 --> 00:06:18,995
and Betty came in the club...
159
00:06:19,996 --> 00:06:21,497
and saw them!
160
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,503
So she separated them.
161
00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:28,504
Ooh!
162
00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:34,510
Oh!
163
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,016
Oh!
164
00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:42,018
And Jack, Jack, yeah, yeah...
165
00:06:42,018 --> 00:06:45,521
tried to get them to stop fighting,
huh? Yeah...
166
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:54,030
And they both beat up on him?
167
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,531
Oh!
168
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,035
Now they're all fighting...
169
00:06:59,035 --> 00:07:01,537
all three of them are fighting...
170
00:07:01,537 --> 00:07:04,540
and somebody came in.
171
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,542
Uh, the manager?
172
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:08,544
Uh, the bouncer?
173
00:07:08,544 --> 00:07:09,545
Oh!
174
00:07:09,545 --> 00:07:11,547
The doorman.
175
00:07:12,548 --> 00:07:14,050
RICKY: Uh, uh, uh...
176
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,551
a-a policeman!
177
00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:17,553
A policeman.
178
00:07:37,573 --> 00:07:39,575
He put the girls in the black Maria?
179
00:07:39,575 --> 00:07:40,576
Oh!
180
00:07:46,582 --> 00:07:48,584
Ooh, he threw in Jack!
181
00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:57,093
(Lucy imitating siren)
182
00:07:57,093 --> 00:08:00,096
Oh, what a juicy piece of gossip.
183
00:08:00,096 --> 00:08:02,098
What a performance.
184
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,099
Bravo!
185
00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:04,600
Bravo!
186
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,102
Thank you, thank you.
187
00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:08,604
Isn't it amazing what women go
through
188
00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:10,106
to tell each other some dirt?
189
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:11,107
Fantastic!
190
00:08:11,107 --> 00:08:14,110
Listen, so we gossip a little-- so do
men.
191
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,111
FRED: Men gossip?
192
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:17,113
Yes, men gossip.
193
00:08:17,113 --> 00:08:18,114
Well, now...
194
00:08:18,114 --> 00:08:19,615
Now, wait a minute, Fred.
195
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:22,618
In all fairness, some men gossip a
little.
196
00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:24,120
Who does?
197
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,622
Well, uh, take Marco, my piano
player, for instance.
198
00:08:26,622 --> 00:08:28,124
It was only yesterday
199
00:08:28,124 --> 00:08:30,126
that I caught him talking to the
drummer
200
00:08:30,126 --> 00:08:33,629
about Joe, the trombone player and
what a wolf he is.
201
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,131
Joe, a wolf?
202
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:36,132
Is he?
203
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:37,633
(chuckles)
204
00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:39,135
I don't see how he can blow a note
205
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:40,636
with those fangs of his.
206
00:08:40,636 --> 00:08:42,638
No kidding?
207
00:08:42,638 --> 00:08:44,640
Well, listen, this week is Nancy, the
harpist.
208
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,642
Last week was one of the girls in the
trio.
209
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:48,644
The week before that, it was the
hat-check girl.
210
00:08:48,644 --> 00:08:49,645
No!
211
00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:50,646
Yeah.
212
00:08:50,646 --> 00:08:54,650
Thank you, Hedda and Lolly.
213
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:57,653
Now, wait a minute.
214
00:08:57,653 --> 00:09:00,656
The point is we can take it or leave
it alone.
215
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:03,659
With you women, it's your life's
blood.
216
00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:05,661
Well, you two aren't exactly anemic.
217
00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:07,663
I'll bet you that we can keep from
gossiping
218
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,165
longer than you men can.
219
00:09:09,165 --> 00:09:10,166
Oh, that's a hot one!
220
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:12,168
Girls, you've made yourself a bet.
221
00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:13,169
Okay, what's the bet?
222
00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:14,670
Well, let's make it something
interesting, now.
223
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:15,671
I know!
224
00:09:15,671 --> 00:09:17,673
The losers will serve the winners
225
00:09:17,673 --> 00:09:19,675
breakfast in bed for a month. How's
that?
226
00:09:19,675 --> 00:09:21,677
Okay, you've got yourself a deal.
227
00:09:21,677 --> 00:09:22,678
All right!
228
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:30,903
Oh, hiya, Fred.
229
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:32,405
Oh, hi, Rick.
230
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,907
Wait a second, I'll walk home with
you.
231
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,409
Ah, I'm glad I saw you.
232
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,910
Just coffee.
233
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,912
How are things in the gossip front?
234
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,414
Well, this is the third day, isn't
it?
235
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,917
Yeah, I haven't heard a peep of
gossip out of Lucy.
236
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,420
Not a peep out of my biddy either.
237
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:49,922
Thank you.
238
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,924
You know, I have a plan
239
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,927
but I think it's a little sneaky.
240
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,929
Good, let's hear it.
241
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,432
Well, I thought maybe we could cook
up
242
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,934
some sensational hunk of gossip,
see...
243
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,436
Uh-huh?
244
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,438
And then we tell it to our wives
245
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,941
and leave them alone and wait for
them to explode.
246
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,944
Well, there will be an explosion, all
right
247
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:12,945
except for one thing.
248
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,447
What's that?
249
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,949
If we tell them, then we'll be
gossiping.
250
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,951
Oh, yeah, I didn't think of that.
251
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,954
It was a nice try, though-- good try.
252
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,459
Listen.
253
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,960
Huh?
254
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:33,466
Supposing that, accidentally, we
mumbled something in our sleep
255
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,468
and our wives overheard it.
256
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,969
We couldn't be accused
257
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,471
of gossiping then, could we?
258
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,472
Well, no...
259
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,973
but what with...
260
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:44,977
oh, you mean we-we pretend that we're
talking in our sleep?
261
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:45,928
You got me.
262
00:10:45,928 --> 00:10:47,930
Ricky, you're a Cuban genius.
263
00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:48,931
Thank you.
264
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:49,932
Now, let's see...
265
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:52,435
who will we make up the story about?
266
00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:53,936
Well, what about...
267
00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:54,937
wait a minute, now.
268
00:10:54,937 --> 00:10:57,940
What about the Foster woman, the
blonde in 3-B?
269
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:00,943
They're both jealous of her looks
anyway.
270
00:11:00,943 --> 00:11:01,944
Yeah, Grace Foster.
271
00:11:01,944 --> 00:11:02,945
Yeah.
272
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:04,447
That's good, that's good.
273
00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:05,948
Grace Foster and who?
274
00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:08,451
The milkman.
275
00:11:08,951 --> 00:11:09,452
The milkman?
276
00:11:09,452 --> 00:11:10,453
Yes.
277
00:11:10,453 --> 00:11:11,954
That little, bitty guy?
278
00:11:11,954 --> 00:11:12,955
Yeah.
279
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:15,958
He's so bashful.
280
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,960
That makes it all the juicier.
281
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,832
(snoring)
282
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:41,834
Grace Foster.
283
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,838
(snoring)
284
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,840
Grace Foster.
285
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:52,344
(snores loudly)
286
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,346
Grace Foster!
287
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:04,356
(moaning)
288
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:05,858
Huh? What's the matter?
289
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,860
What's the matter, Ricky?
290
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,862
(snoring)
291
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:12,364
Oh, you must have had a nightmare.
292
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,368
Sleep well, little husband.
293
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,871
(snoring)
294
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,373
Grace Foster.
295
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,378
Grace Foster?
296
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,884
What about Grace Foster?
297
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,386
What are you dreaming about?
298
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,389
Why are you smiling like that?
299
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,392
What about Grace Foster?
300
00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:44,897
Grace Foster is running away.
301
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,899
(snoring)
302
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:50,402
Grace Foster is running away with...
303
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,408
Don't stop now.
304
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,409
Go on.
305
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:58,911
(snoring)
306
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,914
Grace Foster is running away with the
milkman.
307
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:02,915
The milkman?
308
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,417
Uh-huh.
309
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,924
Go on, go on.
310
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:13,926
Grace Foster y el lechero
311
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,928
se van a salir juntos...
312
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,930
In English, in English!
313
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,432
(snoring)
314
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,936
Grace Foster is running away with the
milkman
315
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,438
and her husband doesn't suspect
anything.
316
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:27,940
Go on.
317
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,443
That is all.
318
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,953
Ooh, Ethel will die when she hears
this.
319
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,956
I can't keep it to myself another
minute.
320
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,958
I'll call her right now.
321
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:51,964
Gee, it's pretty late.
322
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,966
I wonder what time it is.
323
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:58,971
4:00.
324
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:03,475
Well, she might still be up.
325
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:11,984
I can't tell her without losing that
bet.
326
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,486
It would be gossip.
327
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:15,487
Darn it!
328
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:19,491
(Ricky snoring)
329
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:29,001
That's right, sleep, you big ox.
330
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:31,470
What? What?
331
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,471
What happened? What?
What happened?
332
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,974
You must have been dreaming, dear.
333
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:35,975
Oh... oh.
334
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:38,978
Good night, dear.
335
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:39,979
Good night.
336
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,984
(laughing to himself)
337
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,987
I'm a real stinker, all right.
338
00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:53,075
Ricky!
339
00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:58,581
Ricky!
340
00:14:58,581 --> 00:14:59,582
Hello, Fred.
341
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,087
How did it go last night?
342
00:15:05,087 --> 00:15:06,088
Wonderful.
343
00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:08,090
She swallowed the whole story.
344
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:10,092
How did it go with Ethel?
345
00:15:10,092 --> 00:15:12,094
Well, if she'd have flapped her ears
any more
346
00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:14,597
she would have taken off
347
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:15,598
and circled the room.
348
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:18,100
Listen, we're a cinch to win the bet.
349
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,101
How do you know?
350
00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:20,102
Well, Lucy just announced
351
00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:22,104
that she's going to go downstairs
352
00:15:22,104 --> 00:15:24,106
and borrow a cup of flour from Ethel.
353
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:26,108
Well, let's not waste any more time.
354
00:15:26,108 --> 00:15:27,610
Where are we going?
355
00:15:27,610 --> 00:15:29,111
We'll go down to the basement
356
00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:30,613
and listen through the furnace pipe.
357
00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:31,614
Good idea.
358
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:32,615
Come on!
359
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:41,624
Ricky, I'm going downstairs now.
360
00:15:41,624 --> 00:15:43,125
Ricky?
361
00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:49,131
Oh.
Oh.
362
00:15:49,131 --> 00:15:50,633
I just came up to borrow a cup of
sugar.
363
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:53,135
I was just coming down to borrow a
cup of flour.
364
00:15:53,135 --> 00:15:54,136
Well, come on in, sit down.
365
00:15:54,136 --> 00:15:55,137
Okay.
366
00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:00,643
How about a cup of coffee?
367
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,144
Uh, no, thanks.
368
00:16:09,652 --> 00:16:11,153
Um...
369
00:16:11,153 --> 00:16:13,155
how have you been?
370
00:16:13,155 --> 00:16:14,657
Oh, I've been fine, fine.
371
00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:17,159
I feel wonderful.
372
00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:18,160
How have you been?
373
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,663
Great, great, never felt better.
374
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,667
Well, let's drink to our good health.
375
00:16:30,172 --> 00:16:31,173
What's new?
376
00:16:31,173 --> 00:16:33,175
Um, uh...
377
00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:38,681
Nothing.
378
00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:40,683
What's new with you?
379
00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:42,685
Nothing.
380
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:46,689
(both sigh)
381
00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:48,190
Dull, aren't we?
382
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,191
Yeah.
383
00:16:50,693 --> 00:16:52,695
Well, I might as well go home.
384
00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,697
How about your sugar?
385
00:16:54,697 --> 00:16:55,698
Sugar?
386
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:57,700
Oh, never mind.
387
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,202
I really didn't need any flour
either.
388
00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:01,203
Well, so long.
389
00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:02,204
Bye.
390
00:17:02,204 --> 00:17:03,706
Drop up later, Ethel.
391
00:17:03,706 --> 00:17:05,207
I got a pudding in the oven.
392
00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:06,208
Pudding?
393
00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:07,209
What kind?
394
00:17:07,209 --> 00:17:09,211
Grace Foster...
I mean, brown betty!
395
00:17:09,211 --> 00:17:10,713
You know then!
396
00:17:10,713 --> 00:17:11,714
Yes, do you?
397
00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:12,715
Yes!
398
00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,718
Ricky, are you in there?
399
00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:21,223
What did you hear?
400
00:17:21,223 --> 00:17:22,725
I heard that Grace is getting ready
401
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:24,226
to run away with the milkman!
402
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:26,228
They're going to Mexico and get a
quick divorce
403
00:17:26,228 --> 00:17:27,229
and they're settling in Steubenville.
404
00:17:27,229 --> 00:17:29,231
Steubenville?!
405
00:17:29,231 --> 00:17:30,733
Yeah, he's got a new milk route.
406
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:34,236
Well, if you ask me, I think her
husband is well rid of her.
407
00:17:34,236 --> 00:17:36,238
I think so too.
408
00:17:36,238 --> 00:17:37,740
I think so too.
409
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:40,743
FRED (eerily): Ethel Mertz!
410
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:42,244
BOTH: What's that?
411
00:17:42,244 --> 00:17:45,748
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
412
00:17:45,748 --> 00:17:46,749
Who's that?
413
00:17:46,749 --> 00:17:50,252
This is your conscience.
414
00:17:50,252 --> 00:17:53,255
You have been gossiping.
415
00:17:53,255 --> 00:17:56,759
Ethel, you've got the loudest
conscience I ever heard.
416
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:01,764
RICKY: Lucy Ricardo!
417
00:18:01,764 --> 00:18:04,767
This is your conscience.
418
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:07,770
You've been goss'ping, too.
419
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:10,773
Oh, fine, my conscience has an
accent.
420
00:18:12,775 --> 00:18:14,777
Ricky Ricardo, where are you?
421
00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:17,279
Fred and I are down in the basement.
422
00:18:17,279 --> 00:18:18,781
We listened to the whole thing
423
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:20,282
through the furnace pipe.
424
00:18:20,282 --> 00:18:22,785
FRED: Looks like you've lost the bet,
girls.
425
00:18:22,785 --> 00:18:24,286
Oh!
426
00:18:24,286 --> 00:18:25,788
Keep them talking.
427
00:18:25,788 --> 00:18:27,790
What are you doing down there now?
428
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:31,794
FRED: We knew you'd blab that phony
Grace Foster story
429
00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:32,795
to each other.
430
00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:33,796
Phony?
431
00:18:33,796 --> 00:18:35,297
RICKY: Yes, we dreamt it up
432
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:38,300
and told it to you last night in our
sleep.
433
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:42,805
(gasping and coughing)
434
00:18:42,805 --> 00:18:45,808
There! Maybe a little soot will teach
them
435
00:18:45,808 --> 00:18:46,809
not to be so smart next time.
436
00:18:46,809 --> 00:18:48,811
How do you like that?
437
00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:50,813
They deliberately tricked us.
438
00:18:50,813 --> 00:18:52,815
What a couple of fools we are.
439
00:18:52,815 --> 00:18:55,317
Now we got to give those two bums
440
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:57,319
breakfast in bed for a month.
441
00:18:57,319 --> 00:18:59,321
What a revolting thought.
442
00:18:59,321 --> 00:19:00,322
Wait a minute!
443
00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:03,325
If they weren't asleep, they were
awake.
444
00:19:03,325 --> 00:19:07,329
Well, that's a monumental conclusion.
445
00:19:07,329 --> 00:19:09,832
No, no, I mean if they were awake
446
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:11,834
when they told us that story
447
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:13,836
they were gossiping.
448
00:19:13,836 --> 00:19:14,837
Yeah!
449
00:19:14,837 --> 00:19:16,839
How about that?
450
00:19:16,839 --> 00:19:20,843
Suddenly the breakfast is on the
other foot.
451
00:19:25,347 --> 00:19:28,851
Well, if it isn't the coal dust
twins.
452
00:19:29,852 --> 00:19:31,353
Very funny.
453
00:19:31,353 --> 00:19:35,357
All right, girls, we won the bet fair
and square.
454
00:19:35,357 --> 00:19:36,358
Didn't we, Fred?
455
00:19:36,358 --> 00:19:37,359
That we did.
456
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,361
Now, let's see...
457
00:19:39,361 --> 00:19:42,865
tomorrow morning I would like some
orange juice
458
00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:48,370
two eggs basted, ham, toast, jam and
coffee.
459
00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,372
I'll have the same, sweetie.
460
00:19:50,372 --> 00:19:51,373
Well, that's just wonderful
461
00:19:51,373 --> 00:19:53,876
except for tomorrow morning, you'll
be serving it to us.
462
00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:55,377
She is so right.
463
00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:57,379
FRED AND RICKY: What do you mean?
464
00:19:57,379 --> 00:20:00,883
I mean you weren't really talking in
your sleep
465
00:20:00,883 --> 00:20:02,885
so you were gossiping first!
466
00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:05,387
Now, wait a minute, girls, wait a
minute.
467
00:20:05,387 --> 00:20:06,889
You have misconstrued
468
00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:09,391
the entire point of the situation.
469
00:20:09,391 --> 00:20:11,393
Now, you see, if the story were true
470
00:20:11,393 --> 00:20:13,395
then we would have been gossiping
471
00:20:13,395 --> 00:20:15,397
but the story was not true--
472
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:16,398
we made it up.
473
00:20:16,398 --> 00:20:18,400
The whole thing was "friction"
474
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,903
so we were not gossiping.
475
00:20:20,903 --> 00:20:23,906
Now, you girls believed that the
story was true
476
00:20:23,906 --> 00:20:25,407
so you were gossiping.
477
00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:27,409
Now, that's the whole thing.
478
00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:28,410
Oh, that is the silliest way
479
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:29,912
of trying to crawl out of a bet....
480
00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:31,413
What do you mean, "friction"?
481
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:32,414
Wait a minute!
482
00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:33,415
(all arguing)
483
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:42,040
Good morning, your majesty.
484
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,543
Good morning.
485
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:45,544
That's nice.
486
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,045
You're a very good wife.
487
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:48,547
Thank you very much.
488
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:50,048
Thank you.
489
00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:52,551
FRED: Ricky, don't start till I get
there!
490
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:59,057
Fred, what are you doing up here?
491
00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:02,561
Well, I thought we ought to share our
moment of triumph.
492
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,562
May I?
493
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:04,563
Be my guest.
494
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,569
Where are you, Ethel?
495
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:13,071
Coming, master.
496
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,579
This is the life, isn't it, Fred?
497
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:22,581
We're living like kings.
498
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:26,084
Why did you ever agree that they won
the bet?
499
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,086
Well, Ethel, it would be different
500
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,588
if that story about Grace Foster
501
00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,590
and the milkman was true, but it
wasn't.
502
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,091
That's right.
503
00:21:33,091 --> 00:21:34,092
Absolutely.
504
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,594
MAN: Help! Help! Save me! Help!
505
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:36,595
What's this?
Who's that?
506
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,097
Save me!
He's after me, he's after me!
507
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,098
Who's after you?
508
00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:42,601
Oh, all my milk will turn sour.
509
00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:43,602
He's after me!
Who's after you?
Who's after you?
510
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:44,603
Who's that?
511
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:45,604
Mr. Foster, Mr. Foster!
512
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:46,605
ETHEL: Mr. Foster?!
513
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:48,106
Where can I hide?
514
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,107
In there.
Oh...
515
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,109
MR. FOSTER: All right, where is
that...?
516
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:52,611
ETHEL: Oh, help hide him, Lucy.
517
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:53,612
RICKY: What's going on here?
518
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,614
MR. FOSTER: Just watch me get my
hands on that little shrimp!
519
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:58,116
That's all I want to do is find him!
520
00:21:58,116 --> 00:21:59,618
What do you mean breaking in here?
521
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:01,119
What's going on here, Mr. Foster?
522
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,121
I'll teach that cow juice peddler
523
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:04,623
to flirt with my wife.
524
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:07,125
Come on out, you cottage cheese
Casanova!
525
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,628
What you doing there, you little
shrimp...
526
00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:12,130
(everybody yelling)
527
00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:16,134
Mr. Foster, now, now nothing can be
settled with a gun.
528
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:17,135
No?
529
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,137
You'll just go to jail.
530
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:20,138
Wow.
531
00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:22,641
Now, you don't want to go to jail, do
you?
532
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:23,642
No.
533
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:26,645
Now... now, this is something that
should be settled
534
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:28,647
between you and your wife, Grace.
535
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:32,150
Yeah, I guess shooting him wouldn't
solve anything.
536
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:33,652
It certainly wouldn't.
537
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,654
I suppose maybe I ought to give Grace
538
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:36,655
a chance to explain.
539
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:37,656
That's right.
540
00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:39,157
Yeah.
541
00:22:41,159 --> 00:22:43,161
But let me tell you one thing.
542
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:45,664
From now on, we drink goat's milk.
543
00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:58,677
So there's no truth to the story,
hey, fellas?
544
00:22:59,177 --> 00:23:02,180
ETHEL: Yeah, how about that, boys?
545
00:23:20,699 --> 00:23:21,700
Oh, no, you don't.
546
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:24,703
I'll have honeydew melon filled with
strawberries
547
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:26,705
eggs Benedict and hot chocolate.
548
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:29,207
I'll have the same, Fatso.
549
00:23:35,213 --> 00:23:38,216
Eso es lo que quiere comer para el
desayuno--
550
00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:41,219
un pedazo de honeydew melon, Benedict
eggs
551
00:23:41,219 --> 00:23:43,221
filled with strawberry
552
00:23:43,221 --> 00:23:44,723
y chocolate caliente...
553
00:23:49,728 --> 00:23:51,229
(clears throat)
554
00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:53,231
Oh, I forgot all about you.
555
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:54,733
You're safe now.
556
00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:55,734
ETHEL: What a break
557
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,236
he chose this apartment to hide in.
558
00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:00,238
Would you hand me my purse there
please?
559
00:24:00,238 --> 00:24:01,239
Oh.
560
00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:02,741
Thank you.
561
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:04,743
Now, here's five dollars for you
562
00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:07,746
and please give this five dollars to
Mr. Foster
563
00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:10,248
and tell him I said, "thank you very
much."
564
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,751
You both gave wonderful performances.
565
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:16,755
Aw, think nothing of it, Mrs.
Ricardo.
566
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:19,758
Oh, with my compliments.
567
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:21,760
Oh, thank you.
568
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,261
It was a pleasure.
569
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:25,263
Any time.
570
00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:26,765
LUCY: Bye-bye.
571
00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:47,686
(theme music playing)
572
00:24:51,690 --> 00:24:53,692
The part of the milkman
573
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,694
was played by Bobby Jellison.
574
00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:58,196
Mr. Foster was played by Dick Reeves.
575
00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:41,740
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
576
00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:44,559
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
37059
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