Original subtitles

Previously on "You"...

Stay away from Paco, because if you don't,

I'm gonna grab a steak knife,

and I'm gonna cut those freak eyes out.

You were right. I kicked Ron out.

People don't change.

Who is that?

Rude to stare, especially in Asian cultures.

Benjamin J. Ashby.

This guy is everything wrong with America.

Your friends are disloyal, and that Peach is the worst.

How many guys are willing to do anything

for the person they love?

I just want you to live your best life,

and the cost was a corpse.

You can talk about her.

Actually, I think I'd rather save it for therapy.

It's a bit troubling when your partner hides something from you.

Don't you agree, Dr. Nicky?

I hear you, Paul.

If we don't have trust, we have nothing.

We're over.

What happened?

My girlfriend dumped me.

It's been three months since I lost you, Beck,

and it was a loss,

but I'm in a new place, a better place.

I'm with Karen Minty,

my little neat freak... literally.

How you can live with these un-alphabetized

I cannot understand.

Any other system is just hostile.

What are you waiting for, babe?

Again? I don't... I don't know if...

No, pervert.

- Grab the typewriter. - Oh.

She keeps me guessing.

She's equal parts neat and freak.

Holy shit.

I'm happy.

She's happy.

We're good for each other.

Some kind of women's magazine?

Okay, she's not perfect.

Oh, "50 Reasons Men Suck."

You know, with a Kindle, you can store

a zillion more stories and recipes,

and there are zero dust mites.

Oh, yeah? Your show's back on.

- Yes, "Queens." - Annoying.

Yes, "King of Queens." Nobody's perfect.

We don't share everything, but we share the right things.

Ooh, cat has claws.

The truth is, Beck,

I don't miss you the way I thought I would,

not since Karen.

And you, you're doing great.

Your essay about Peach went viral.

You got a book deal. Good for you.

I hardly look at your Facebook.

Two or three times a day, max.

No checking your email. I don't go by your place.

Old me would have spent the rest of the night

trying to hunt down Mr. Anonymous,

but you're not my job anymore.

This is my job now, and I love it.

There are monsters under the bed!

For the most part.

- What an asshole. - I know, right?

I'm not saying I deserve all this attention,

but an "overrated mess" is pretty harsh.

Wait, what? I'm talking about Peach's Deathbook,

this dude claiming that she ghosted him at Coachella.

- Where were you? - I was checking my comments.

Really?

Sorry I'm late, Rebecca.

There was this essay in "The Believer"

that would not let go of me.

Beck's not short for Rebecca.

Oh, it's a joke,

as if my last name was short for Rebecca.

Guinevere, short for Rebecca, what did Janice say?

- Who is Janice? - She's my editor.

Just call me this weekend, Beck.

"You do not sound like you.

I am not in love with these pages."

No wonder you needed me, Becky.

You make your own Yaddo.

This is no longer your home. This is your writer's colony.

Kill all distractions.

Surrender thy phone.

My phone, Blythe?

Come on.

Good-bye, Instagram.

So long, Facebook.

Good-bye, Twitter.

I'm freeing your mind.

I can't just go dark out of nowhere.

You're not J.K. Rowling.

We'll all be fine if you take a time-out.

Not my router.

What about research?

And I'm going to ask Ethan

where Joe gets all his typewriters

so you can be the most analog princess in all the land.

Hey, how is Joe?

Are we really going to do that?

No, I... I would never want to, you know.

Yes, yes,

just put it all on the page.

Let it flow.

I was... I was just curious if he was still with...

is it Karen? What's her last name again?

- Minty. - Minty.

Yaddo.

Minty.

Yaddo.

So you don't find yourself thinking of Renaldo at all?

No. No, that's the thing.

He dragged me into so many messes.

With Brad,

I don't have to clean up any messes. There are no messes.

- He is... - Simple?

No. No, he's not...

no, he's just... he knows who he is,

which means I don't have to drive myself crazy

watching his back.

In fact, I have all this free time now...

Wrapping up.

We're out of time. We'll pick this up next week?

Yes, therapy, Karen, this is all working.

There's many ways to the top of the mountain, Paul.

Maybe Brad's what you need.

Maybe Brad's your Sherpa.

Enjoy the ride, man.

Maybe Dr. Nicky is onto something, Beck.

Karen doesn't expose me to toxic people

like Benji or Peach.

Dealing with them was... ugh, stressful.

Trying to make sure you were okay all the time?

Fine, so I... I still do need to know if you're okay.

I'm happy. I want you to be happy.

It's what happy people want for people.

What the hell?

N-n-no, no, no, no, no, no.

Where did you go?

How the hell am I supposed to be great with you being gone

if you're actually gone?

Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com

Whoo!

"Desperate Characters," number seven?

Is that all I am to you?

You get a book deal because of me,

because let's face it, Peach died,

and you wrote about her death,

and that's just not something you would have done

if she were alive.

I was so damn happy with Karen,

but I'm not sure I can be happy

if I don't know you're happy.

- What? Yes. - Yes.

- Yeah! - Yes.

Joe!

This is on you, Beck.

You put Blythe and Ethan together,

and you left me to deal with them.

The most spectacular thing just happened for us.

We're moving in together.

Ethan just asked me just right now.

I mean, you know what they say. When you know, you know.

Inspiration calls.

Good-bye, love.

Oh, my...

You are insane to move in with her this quickly.

You barely know her.

I don't know. I mean, you love who you love,

and love tells you what to do, easy-peasy.

Stupid-stupid.

You just...

you don't always know how it's gonna work out.

Sure you do.

Look how happy you are with Karen.

Well, good luck finding a place.

The market's shit right now.

Okay, I'm not worried.

The law of attraction. When you know...

I know.

If I could go anywhere,

I'd probably go to New Zealand to see Mordor.

When you know, you know.

I would go to Paris.

Paris all the way, wouldn't have to think about it.

What about you, Joe?

But I... yeah, I've never been to Paris.

I'm going to Six Flags this weekend.

Have you guys been there?

Six Flags, really, Pac?

Mom's a new person since Ron's gone.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I-I get on the elevator, we stop on every single floor.

I'm telling you, it was like, 12, 11, 10.

Is this Italian?

No thanks.

Hey, Claudia,

you should put something in your stomach, you know?

Something else.

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm not the bad guy here.

Hijo, Mommy changed her mind.

We're going.

Let's go. Grab what you want.

Bye.

See you, Pac.

At least now we know she's on something.

I'm sorry I ruined dinner.

Serves me right for trying to help.

No, Karen.

You are so good.

You too, babe.

"Babe"?

You said "babe" was a default

for unimaginative lovers,

but then you never cared for people the way Karen does.

You were so caught up in you,

you never thought to take care of me,

and honestly, it's worth all the "babe."

This is too sad.

You want to take a walk to a froyo truck or something?

Froyo sounds lovely.

For me, it's like just how present he is,

you know? Yeah.

And it speaks volumes about his heart.

- I know. - And the way that he just

- looks you right in the... - Reading...

Joe!

I, uh...

right, this is your hood.

Right.

I'm sorry. Hi, I'm Beck.

Karen.

- Congrats on the book deal. - Thanks.

I'm actually... I'm having some writer's block.

Thought I'd take a walk around the block.

You live near here?

No. I just... I... I like it around here.

I'm listening to that podcast you told me about.

Podcasts? You're droning.

Just get to the point, you know?

- Yeah. - Babe, I'm starving.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's...

walk safe, Beck.

You too.

Bye, Karen.

Oh. Hello?

Walk around the block.

You thought you'd disappear,

then I'd show up at your door,

screaming how I can't live without you.

Well, take a look, babe.

This is me living without you. I don't need you.

Wait, hold up.

Hey, that was the everythingship girl, right?

Ex-everything.

What? No, I'm coming in tomorrow night,

and she's taking over for tonight.

Yes.

No, no, I know before I know.

I should delete you.

I'm with Karen, and you're right. She is nice.

I should ignore you. I will.

Oh, damn it.

So you're talking to Joe again.

Not talking,

just texting.

How much?

Mm, couple times.

A day.

All right, do you want me to give you the shrink bullshit,

like how does that make you feel?

Or...

do you want to get real about this

and admit this is something you do

and we should take a real look at it?

Well, I'm not falling for Renaldo.

I'm not going down that road again.

Are you trying to convince me of that or you?

No, it's... it's innocent.

I... I bumped into him.

I could tell that he missed me, so I...

I texted him to be nice.

Okay. Walk me through this, will you, Paul?

Now, Renaldo sends you the first text,

and you know this is already something

that you've put to bed, and?

Congrats again.

Also, the asshole on Medium

who called you overrated:

just jealous.

So do you want to see...

my potential author photos?

I suppose I am an expert.

Here I come.

Friends.

Okay.

Just friends.

So what are you reading right now?

I haven't opened it up yet. Have you?

I have been there,

and it didn't work out, to say the least.

We know this.

Sounds to me like you're flirting.

I'm not flirting with him.

He's with the wrong girl.

I mean, his new girlfriend, she's...

she puts stickers on pictures.

And they've been together three months, right?

I mean, her profile, her life,

it's all bachelorette parties and fortune cookies

and... and blood... blood drives.

What if Joe likes those things?

They're not Joe things.

The one thing I know from sitting in this chair

all these years is that the only people

that know a relationship to the core

are the people that are in that relationship.

Well, if that's true, then...

why don't I know what's going on with Brad and me?

Last week,

I was happy.

This week, I'm comparing everything.

Like, um,

Brad calls me babe.

Right, Renaldo and I

used to make fun of people who say babe.

Now I'm babe. Like, how... how do...

how does one just become babe?

I'm gonna give you a metaphor, okay?

Think of your relationship as a house.

And that's Brad and me?

And there's a mouse in that house.

I'm the mouse?

Well, I'm not one of those people who would ever kill a mouse.

No, you're not going to.

You're gonna focus on your house,

the house that you built for you and Brad.

Forget about the mouse. The mouse is a pest.

Okay, so as the mouse, I'm just supposed to walk away,

leave the alleged house?

So that's it.

Just stop texting.

Brad is good for me. I like the house, our house.

Yeah, I think you do like your house, Paul.

But what if I know for a fact this man wants this mouse?

Maybe he does.

How do people catch mice?

In a trap.

And isn't one of the reasons why you guys fell apart

is because he made you feel...

Trapped. Oh, come on.

Look, I'm just saying, I could

metaphor circles around you all day long.

I have great metaphors.

But I think you know what I'm driving at, Beck.

Law of attraction.

Ethan and Blythe scored a place

the day they went looking,

so they bask in the knowledge

that the universe is on their side,

and I get roped into a "moving party,"

which is not a thing.

NOTE TO SELF:

make new friends.

- Hey. - Oh, no.

- Sorry I'm late. - You're kidding me.

- Let me help you with that. - That's okay. I got it.

Of course no one mentioned you were coming.

The last time I saw you in that shirt...

Blythe didn't tell you she blackmailed me into this?

You were bent over the bookstore counter at 2:00 a.m.

I'm not thinking about that.

And suddenly I miss texting, because you in the actual room

does things to me that I can't control.

- Is Karen here? - She's working.

Yes, you smell good,

your, uh, heat, your sweat,

but Karen brings out the best in me,

and you bring out the worst.

Your knees, your legs.

They're just knees. They're just legs.

Hey.

Oh, thanks.

Apparently we've been invited

to the Swedish word for a housewarming party

on Thursday.

You know, I have to admit,

I had my initial doubts about them,

but they're adorable together.

Obnoxiously cute.

Cheers.

To the Joe and Beck Moving Company.

We may be just okay.

But we work for free.

How's writing going?

Harder than I thought.

That's true of all things in life

that are good for you, don't you think?

Like moving a whole house of tasteful

yet surprisingly heavy furniture?

Come on, you know what I mean.

So have you been to Staten Island yet?

You know, to meet the Mintys?

You looked me up.

I guess that means that you're back on Facebook.

Which means you noticed I was off.

Hey, I am just looking out for my friend...

Babe.

"Babe." You had to do it.

Claudia, honey, can you hear me?

Claudia?

Oh, she's completely out of it.

Hand me that blood pressure cuff.

Okay.

Oh, what did you do?

What is this?

Should we take her to a hospital?

So she could lose her job? Hell no.

She could lose everything, Joe.

She could lose Paco.

She's not dying. She's just very strung out.

She just needs a couple of days to detox,

get out the woods.

And you know what? She deserves that chance.

Addiction is a monster.

It doesn't care if you're a good nurse, a good mother.

I don't want Paco to see this.

Do you get claustrophobic easily?

Quite the little detox dungeon you got here.

Mooney would kill me for this.

Benji already destroyed 10 grand in inventory in here.

You sure she's gonna be okay?

I got this.

Shh.

Uh-oh, she's waking up in a cage.

No.

No, no, what are you doing to me? No!

- I would freak out too. - Joe, hold her down.

I got a sedative.

- Hurry, up, Karen! - No! What are you doing?

- Let go of me! - I'm trying to help you.

Like Benji, freaked out.

Let me go!

Anyone would, and he died in this cage.

His corpse was right here. I killed him.

I got you, girl. I'll be here when you wake up.

Karen's got this.

Claudia's not gonna die in this cage like Benji.

Benji's body, the smell.

I did that. I'm not a killer.

No one else is dying in here. I'm not a killer.

- Jesus, Joe. - Sorry.

I told you I got this.

Sorry, babe.

Sometimes detox is messy.

Oh, Beck.

She has no idea how messy this could get.

***

Yeah, you know how you love Six Flags?

Well, this is...

really just like their version of Six Flags.

Are you telling the truth?

I wish I was telling the truth.

I'm always telling the truth.

I thought I was sleeping there.

No, you get the bed.

I do?

Thanks, Joe.

I hope she's having fun, Mom.

She is.

You know she loves you.

She always says love is what really makes a family.

Well, if that's true,

then you can count me and Karen too,

which means I have the authority to tell you to get to bed.

Get to bed, young sir.

Brush your teeth.

Got the ice chips.

Thank you. You're a godsend.

Here, honey.

Oh.

You're gonna feel better soon, okay?

He's back. He's back.

Shh.

Who's he? Wha... is she okay?

She thinks this place is haunted.

Impossible.

Benji was too lazy to run his own business,

let alone haunt mine.

There you go, honey. Let it go.

Hi, Ron. Can I help you?

I'm looking for Claudia.

Well, she's not here.

But you know where she is.

How the hell does he... oh, he doesn't. He's testing me.

I'm sorry, I... I don't.

Well, it's not like her not to text me back.

She... she told me that you two broke up.

Is that what she said?

Not quite self-defense.

No one would believe he was robbing the place,

a parole officer, respectable.

Can't say he wouldn't deserve it.

I'll mention that you swung by

when I see her, if you'd like.

Thank you. You do that.

Karen has Claudia handled.

Karen sent me home. Karen kind of doesn't need me.

Hey, can I steal you for an hour tomorrow,

maybe rent your brain?

I could use a reader and some sea breeze.

No, I shouldn't. I won't.

It's a date.

Shit. It's fine.

You're not heroin. You're a human woman.

We're friends. I have self-control.

And besides, what could happen on the upper deck

of an immensely popular tourist destination?

In a word, I mean, wow.

It's such a relief to hear that.

I must have rewritten the end a dozen times.

I've been in lockdown, torturing myself,

trying so hard, I was starting to spin out, you know?

More than you realize, Beck.

The fresh air helps.

Paco's gonna stay at a friend's tonight.

So you can rest.

Gotta take care of number one.

Karen is good. I need to be good for Karen.

I think I'll write another one from the male perspective.

- Hmm. - Assuming I can procure your services

on an as-need basis.

Karen is good.

I need to be good.

Let's give it a shot.

What do you think I'm thinking right now?

Please move further away.

Hmm, I think I know what you're thinking.

Or move closer. Yeah?

No, don't move closer.

I think...

you're thinking what I'm thinking.

We can't do this.

We're not gonna do this.

We are not doing this, Beck.

Well, that was a mistake.

- Never again. - Ever.

Never again, again.

Never again, again.

Nicky, I'm so sorry, but I have to cancel.

Don't worry, I'm very much not in that house anymore.

Nicky, my man, it's Paul. Hey, what can I say?

Your advice worked wonders.

No mouse in my house.

You make me weak, Beck.

Karen's handling Claudia,

and I'm a bad person because I'm letting her

while I'm letting you...

Handle me.

My neighbors are gonna hate me.

Paco. All right.

Oh, shit. I was supposed to handle Paco.

You're a drug, Beck. You're worse than pills.

I am worse than Claudia.

I got to go.

- Wait, what did I do? - I'm sorry.

It's... it's nothing.

Everything, Beck.

Once again, you swallow me whole.

You make me forget everything else,

and other people pay the price for it.

Oh, Pac, I'm sorry I'm late.

There's another showing if you want to go.

I want to see my mom.

Stop lying. Where is she, Joe?

She's okay, I promise,

but trust me, you're better off here.

Don't say that.

You have no idea what's better. She's my mom.

I do get it, okay? I do.

My mom used to disappear all the time.

She had problems.

All moms have prob...

all people have problems.

She just has to deal with some stuff, okay?

She's coming home as soon as she can.

She didn't say good-bye.

She always says good-bye.

Hey. I didn't know you were coming back tonight.

Where's Paco?

What are you thinking? It's one more day, two tops.

- He needed to see. - No, he didn't.

Mom?

Oh, baby.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

It's okay. Mom, you have to get better.

I swore I wasn't gonna get sick again,

and then I did.

This is it. I'm gonna change.

I just need... I need a little while

to get my shit together,

and then I'm... I'm going home,

and I'm all yours, mijo.

It's okay.

Okay, it's okay.

Sorry. It's just a lot to put on a kid.

I know, but he needed this.

All right, mister, take Paco home.

Make him do his homework.

I'll stay here till she falls asleep.

Then I can meet you at the housewarming party for a few minutes.

You want to go to that?

I mean, Blythe is...

she's a little out there, and Ethan's a talker.

I wouldn't be offended if it's not your scene.

I want to go.

I'm burnt out, and this place is kind of creepy.

No offense.

Mm.

None taken.

Personally, I'm of the opinion

that all penetration under patriarchy is rape,

and so before...

Oh, Blythe, Beck, Blythe,

are you here?

I've never wanted someone

to appear yet not appear so badly.

In addition to watching Beyonc�'s "Lemonade"...

I'm a junkie.

It's better to just not have access to a fix.

My methadone, thank God.

I had to hire a literal homeless person

off the street to help us move in.

- Hey, babe. - Hey.

You must be Blythe.

I am, because I must.

Percival, back from the ashram?

Tell me everything. How was it?

Isn't that Beck?

Hmm, Beck and a bottle of booze.

What could go wrong?

Yes.

Little Karen Minty, how are you?

I mean, uh, I...

sorry, uh, I mean "little" as a compliment.

I'm sorry. I've had a... a few.

Cheers to that, lady.

Hey.

Uh, can you help me open a couple bottles?

I have butterfingers 'cause earlier I was touching butter.

If I leave them alone, they'll talk about me.

Christ, babe, go.

If you don't leave, we can't talk about you.

Hmm.

- He's such a good guy, right? - The best.

My heart just fills up when I see him with Paco.

Most guys don't give a shit, but Joe,

Joe will do absolutely anything

for someone he loves.

The heart in him, you know?

I'm so happy for you guys.

Will you, uh, excuse me?

What did Karen tell you? What did you tell Karen?

Leaving you alone together was a bad idea.

Hey.

Sorry about earlier.

Stop.

Do you think either of us can stop?

What we're doing is wrong.

But...

I didn't get it, but now I see it.

I really see it.

See what?

You are so good for me.

I mean, you helped me so much, and...

you're the best thing that ever happened to my writing,

which is everything.

- But... - But the world,

it's twisted and unfair,

and let's face it,

I am no good for you...

But Karen Minty is,

and I'm jealous,

and I wish I did things differently.

I wish I hadn't shut down after Peach died

and I hadn't pushed you away, but...

I think it...

it came from how scared I was to need you.

But...

I'm a mess, and you deserve better.

You deserve to be with someone who's perfect for you.

You're right.

Thank you.

No thanks needed.

You're right, Beck.

Karen is good for me,

and we just saved someone's life together.

That alone should tell me I'm in the right place.

Karen is perfect.

I know, and he doesn't even

tell anybody about it.

Seven years, never a scratch.

That's more than a scratch.

It's over.

No, it's just a commercial.

No, no, no, no, no.

Our "it."

Us.

You're dumping me?

No, I'm not dumping you.

You're amazing.

I'm amazing, but you kind of, what,

don't want to do me anymore?

Look,

there's never a good time to...

Do not talk for a minute, please?

We're a good team. I see that.

I just... there's something missing.

I don't know what it is.

I... I wish I could buy it.

I wish I could buy it at the store

and take it home, but I can't.

Oh, she's gonna slap me.

My curling iron.

No?

Okay.

You're okay?

We're adults. It happens.

I'm not stupid, okay? I knew something was off.

Now she's gonna slap me.

Oh.

Uh, I mean, maybe we sh-should talk?

Okay, then.

That's it.

Of course she takes the high road.

She knew all along.

Karen and I don't see the world the same way,

but you?

You, Beck, this is it.

This is that moment in the movie.

This is when I run through the rain to win you back.

Okay, it's not raining,

but this is the run in the rain.

This is where I declare to you...

You got me, babe!

Beck!

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I just... I meant to... I meant to tap it.

- I'm sorry. - What the hell, Joe?

I was thinking about what you said at the party.

You're pushing me away because you think it's the right thing.

It is. It's the right thing.

No, the right thing

is to be with who you should be with.

Even if it's messy, you make it work

because you know you belong together,

and I know we belong together.

So you tell me you know it too...

And you got me.

Yes.

Get up here, but take the stairs.

The drama.

What are you gonna do next, torch the place

the next time we have a fight?

For you?

My dear, for you...

the drama is worth it.

I got good news.

My editor loved my new pages.

I was so happy,

and all I wanted to do was call you

and share it with you.

Well, it's a good thing I showed up with that rock, then.

She's not gonna let you in, man.

You don't know what she's been through.

I heard you helped.

Thank you.

Hey.

This was never Ron's fault.

- You can't be serious. - He helps us every day.

- You call that help? - Yeah, I do.

I can't do this alone.

Claudia, you're not alone.

Karen was right.

Addiction is a monster.

You lied to me.

Paco, I didn't lie.

You said things would get better.

You said I had you and Karen.

You do. Just because we're...

Karen's gone!

She's switching jobs.

She's mad at my mom for Ron,

and we're never gonna see her again.

Well, that's not gonna last.

- I promise. - You can't promise!

You say you want to help, but you can't,

can you, Joe?

Everything is worse.

Hey.

I needed to hear your voice

in a totally non-obsessive, casual sort of way.

Call me, please.

Karen, hi.

Do you work around here?

No, just walking around the block.

I won't keep you.

I just had to say thank you.

- I owe you. - For what?

Turns out, you're my "get out of Joe free" card.

You...

you showed me who he really is.

- And that is? - Besides a liar and a cheater?

I really have to go.

Of course.

Just be careful.

I got a feeling you're no Candace.

Okay, what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Hey, look,

I couldn't fill in the ex shoes either.

Whoever this girl is, she's still got her claws in him.

Well, this has been fun.

You got to play the spiteful ex.

Now let's just say good-bye.

Yeah, I'm sure you two will be fine.

Of course, you got to know

what he did to me, one of these days,

he's gonna do to you,

or worse.

Maybe he'll do

whatever the hell he did to Candace.

Enjoy it while it lasts, Beck.