Original subtitles

Since the 1970s, home video games

have been coveted by children around the world.

I was not one of those children.

What do you think? I won it bowling.

It was either that or a Crock-Pot,

and I already got three of those,

so I thought I'd surprise you.

No, thank you. Video games are for children.

Sheldon, you are a child.

I just blew the hot off your SpaghettiOs.

I'm sorry, Meemaw,

I just don't think it's a very productive

use of my time.

You're a man of science. Aren't you interested

in doing a little research here?

"Brave adventurer, prepare to enter a world

beyond your imagination.

Where the only sound you'll hear is your own heart pounding

as you race through the dark woods."

- This sounds terrifying. - Really?

You don't even want to try it?

Honestly, I'd have more fun with the Crock-Pot.

Fine. I'll just play by myself.

- That's amusing. - Why?

I guess it's the juxtaposition of an old person

using new technology; it tickles me.

What if this old person really tickles you?

I'll play! I'll play!

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --

I'm not getting any younger.

I have to read the instructions first.

Did you know this document gives us specific legal rights?

We may also have other rights which vary from state to state?

I did not.

Well, now you do.

- All right, I'm ready. - Great!

To read the manufacturer's warranty.

Oh, you're killing me.

Hey, George, how y'all been?

Good, good. Hey, fixed your place up, looking snazzy.

Ah, thanks. Even got a new water cooler.

It's got those pointy cups, look like Madonna's bra.

So, what's going on with your truck,

other than the fact it's got 130,000 miles on it?

She been running hot. I'm worried I need a new radiator.

As your friend and neighbor, I hope not,

but as a businessman, that'd be pretty sweet.

It could just be the thermostat not opening right.

That is correct.

How'd you know that?

I took auto repair last year.

And you actually paid attention?

I'm as surprised as you are.

Now we need to put in a name before we start.

What are you thinking?

We should combine the letters in our two names,

Sheldon and Meemaw.

Like, uh... ShelMaw?

No, using all the letters, like...

Emelda Showmen.

Did you just do that in your head?

Yes, why?

Never mind, just put it down.

All right, here we go.

I thought I was playing.

You don't know how to play; you didn't read the manual.

You're in charge, Emelda.

Thank you.

Should I go left or right?

Why don't you try going in that cave?

Why would I do that? It's probably dangerous.

Sheldon, they wouldn't have put the cave there

if they didn't want you to go in it.

Seems unnecessarily reckless, but okay.

Dark and dangerous.

I told you.

Just keep going.

The box was right, my heart is pounding.

All right,

good news.

Tell me.

Well, the kid was right...

It's just the thermostat.

Yeah, yeah. So how long to fix it?

- Nothing, 20 minutes. - Can I help?

Well, sure. Grab yourself a pair of coveralls and have at it.

Thanks.

Really?

I'm paying you so my own son can fix my truck?

Well, we could have my son do it,

but we know how that's gonna end.

What are you doing?

- Kill him! - I'm trying!

Well, what's the problem?

I seem to have weak thumbs.

Pause it.

I'm a little winded.

Why don't you let the old person give it a shot?

Would you like me to give you a tutorial first?

Give it to me. I'll figure it out.

We are such different people, Meemaw.

Thank you.

Die, you sumbitches, die!

- Very different people. - Die, you son bitches!

When I grow up, will I be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader?

"Not likely." Darn it.

Did you tell her?

Why don't you tell her?

Tell me what?

Herschel offered me a part-time job.

Really?

Between that

and football practice, when would you do your homework?

When does he do it?

Are you okay with this?

Yeah, I think it'll be good for him.

I don't know, I think his education should come first.

Come on, Mom. It's not like I'm gonna graduate

"val-dictator-torian."

You heard him.

Fine, but I want you here for dinner every night,

and if your grades slip, you are done.

- Thank you. - Now go wash up.

And don't get grease all over my towels.

He really did know his stuff at the shop. It was impressive.

All right, well, maybe it'll be a good thing.

How about a Houston Oilers cheerleader?

"Signs point to yes." I'm gonna marry a quarterback.

Over the next few days,

I ran to my meemaw's house

so we could save the 8-bit princess.

And if it's unclear how important this was,

let me say it again: I ran.

Right behind you, monster, monster!

I see him!

You're losing life points, do something!

Calm down, I've got this.

No, no, no, you're going to die!

We're going to have to restart this level!

Okay, we need to set a few ground rules.

Rules, love 'em.

Mazes, puzzles, panic attacks,

you're in charge.

Whooping monster butt, that's my purview.

Understood. However...

Excuse me. Is there a monster on that screen?

Yes, ma'am.

And can two players swing the magic sword?

No.

So what does that mean as we go forward?

I have to shut my yap.

Attaboy.

Can I still have a panic attack?

If you do it quietly.

No, no, no.

So me and Herschel dropped the engine on this Pacer today.

It was so cool.

I had a buddy in high school had a Pacer

with the flames painted on the side,

which was funny 'cause the damn thing caught fire

during the Homecoming parade.

Too bad he didn't know Herschel.

He can fix anything. Guy's a genius.

You mean a car genius.

Is Dad getting his feelings hurt? "Yes."

The ball don't lie.

Sorry!

Excuse us.

Thank you.

See you later.

There it is! The cyclops!

- I see it! - Get it, get it!

- I'm trying! - Use the sword!

Your yap is open again.

Hello?

What?

It's past his bedtime. Let's go.

Oh, come on, five more minutes?

No. Now say good night to your grandson.

You'll play with him again tomorrow.

Good night, Sheldon.

Good night, Meemaw.

Don't play without me.

Of course not.

How old are you?

And I got my answer.

Hey, neighbor, what's up?

Sorry to bother you so late,

but one of my guys called in sick tomorrow...

So we couldn't find the key to the palace,

but then I figured out it was in the hay behind the stables.

Great.

- Hey, Herschel. - Mary.

I also found us extra life points inside a demon.

There are demons in this game?

Don't worry, Meemaw cut his head off.

Anyhoo, uh, I was wondering

if Georgie could come by after school tomorrow and help me out.

Oh, I don't know, Herschel, he's got football practice.

- Mm. - What's going on?

Herschel's asking if you want to work after school.

Great, I'll be there.

- What about football? - What about it?

I mostly sit on the bench all day.

That's because you got to earn your way

on to first string.

Or I can earn some money working for Herschel.

Why don't you and I talk a bit before you make a decision?

Sorry, I-I didn't mean to cause a problem.

I'll find somebody else. Y'all have a good night.

- Night, Herschel. - Night.

Thanks a lot.

You really want to quit football

to go work in a garage?

Hell yeah.

I thought you loved the game.

I do, but look at me. I weigh 125 pounds.

- That's not important. - It's not?

Every time I get tackled, somebody's got to run over

with smelling salts just to wake me back up.

Well, this isn't your decision. You're gonna play football.

You can't make me.

Oh yeah? Wait and see.

Screw this.

Even while sleeping,

my quest to save the princess continued,

which was quite a departure from my usual dreams,

such as determining the coolest prime number...

Which, by the way, is 73.

Kill it, Meemaw! Kill it!

What do you think I'm trying to do? It won't die.

Maybe you need a different weapon.

I already tried the slingshot and the boomerang.

All I have left is the damn flute.

It's a piccolo. Didn't you pay attention

when the old lady gave it to us?

- Hello? - Meemaw.

I'm sorry for waking you, but I know how to kill the cyclops.

We have to play the piccolo.

Ooh.

What a great idea, moonpie.

We'll try it tomorrow.

Excellent... Wait.

How'd you answer your phone so fast? It's not next to your bed.

Uh, well, actually, I was on my way to the bathroom.

You know us old people and our bladders.

I'll call you right back.

That fibber.

You're playing the game right now.

I am not.

I saw you with my binoculars.

Oh. How about that.

You promised not to play without me.

We're a team. Emelda Showmen, remember?

I'm turning off the game and going to sleep right now.

You'd better.

I love you, good night.

Binoculars for his birthday.

What was I thinking?

Where's Georgie?

Don't worry about it.

I wasn't worried.

I was practicing chitchat.

Your mother's taking him to school.

That's not very efficient. Our car's already going there.

Not that it's any of your business,

but I needed a break from your brother.

I certainly understand that. He's an acquired taste.

Like Grape-Nuts.

The first time I tried it, I thought I was eating gravel.

But then I put a little sugar on it and let it get soggy.

Now it's in my top six cereals.

I'll try soaking Georgie in a bowl of milk.

Sarcasm?

Yeah.

I had a feeling.

The clue was you don't normally put people in bowls of milk.

I'm Sheldon Cooper's grandmother

and, uh, I need to take him out of school today.

Sure. What's the reason?

His Aunt Emelda's not doing well,

and has asked to see him 'fore she goes.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Does she want to see his older brother also?

Nah. She doesn't like him as much.

Okay. I'll just track down Sheldon, then.

Boy, do I love a pop quiz.

Will Sheldon Cooper please come to the main office?

"Ooh," what?

This is hooky, Meemaw.

Hooky is a serious offense.

You're messing with me, right?

Any other kid would be thrilled their grandma

took them out of school to play a video game.

You've known me ten years.

When have I ever messed with you?

I didn't see your kid at practice today.

Everything all right?

Not really.

That's it? You're not gonna ask me what's going on?

I just did. You shut me out.

Well, it doesn't mean you can't persist a little.

You know, this is the kind of crap I get from my wife.

I do not need it from you.

Sorry.

You're really not gonna ask?

Oh, boy.

Well, moonpie, this is it.

Our final dungeon.

Hard to believe.

Yeah.

Would you like to fight the last boss?

You think I'm ready?

We couldn't have gotten here without you.

Well, except for the part you did when I was sleeping.

We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it.

I've fought many digital battles in my life,

but none are as memorable as this first one with my meemaw.

By handing me the controller,

she was telling me she believed in me.

That inside my small, fragile frame beat the heart of a hero.

Behind you, behind you! What're you doing?

- Hit the A. Hit... - I know, I'm pressing it.

- Hit the A button. - I'm pressing it.

- Throw a bomb, throw the bomb! - Which way?

Throw the bomb.

Hey. You up for some company?

Sure. Come on in.

Sorry about the light beer,

but Brenda's got me on this health kick.

You are melting away.

Shut up. So, listen...

I feel bad about Georgie and this whole football thing.

Thanks, but it's not on you.

I appreciate that, but you got to know

there's an upside to this.

And that would be?

Your son has got a special gift.

A gift?

We are talking about Georgie, right?

Yeah. I mean, first off, the kid really knows his way

around an engine, which is all well and good.

But when it comes to fixing tires,

I swear, I've never seen anything like him.

Tires? How do you mean?

George, I've been patching flats for 25 years.

You know, slap some soapy water on them,

look for the air bubble.

But your son, he doesn't need any tricks.

He knows where the puncture holes are.

He knows?

He knows.

He's got a sixth sense for tire damage.

I mean, you got to see him in action.

I-It'll give you chills.

You know, now that you say it,

whenever we had a leaky football,

he knew exactly where the hole was.

I am telling you, your boy's got a future in the tire business.

Goodyear, Firestone, somebody's gonna scoop him up first round.

Thanks, Herschel.

That does my heart good.

So I guess you got two geniuses in the family.

Guess I do.

Who knows, maybe Missy'll make it three.

Or it's two.

I won. I saved the princess.

I knew you could do it!

Yes! We saved her!

We saved the princess! We did it!

- We did it. - Yep.

So now what?

We just return to our ordinary lives?

I guess so.

Or... we could just go to the store and buy another game.

Since that night, I've battled orcs, zombies,

Nazis, Nazi-zombies, a dinosaur in a go-kart,

and played Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher"

on a stringless, plastic guitar.

But nothing would ever compare

to that first quest with my meemaw.

Although Leonard pulling a groin muscle

doing Dance Dance Revolution was a close second.

Talk to me. Tell me where it hurts.

Gotcha.

I got goose bumps.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --