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1
00:00:02,063 --> 00:00:05,875
12 across: "2018 NBA
Rookie of the Year."
2
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,659
(CHUCKLES) Claire-bear, pass
me that pencil, please.
3
00:00:08,684 --> 00:00:10,734
(CHUCKLES) Ah!
4
00:00:11,441 --> 00:00:14,188
This bad boy's going in pen, baby.
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
5
00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:17,311
I love it when you get all
confident during word games.
6
00:00:17,336 --> 00:00:17,891
Thank you.
7
00:00:17,916 --> 00:00:21,484
Uh, the 2018 NBA Rookie of the
Year is none other than...
8
00:00:21,509 --> 00:00:23,109
he's my favorite player...
9
00:00:23,134 --> 00:00:24,767
I want to name my child after him...
10
00:00:25,213 --> 00:00:26,102
Uh...
11
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,660
That might be moreof a conversation.
12
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:29,168
Ben Simmons!
13
00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:30,906
You want to name our
kid after Ben Simmons?
14
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:31,408
Yeah.
15
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:32,836
Ben Simmons Davis.
16
00:00:35,011 --> 00:00:36,404
Well, what if it's a girl?
17
00:00:36,429 --> 00:00:37,903
Ben Simmons Marie Davis.
18
00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:39,036
- (LAUGHS)
- Kind of like it.
19
00:00:39,061 --> 00:00:40,696
- It's doing something.
- (CAR DOOR SHUTS)
20
00:00:40,721 --> 00:00:42,529
Oh, that's Cooper. He's home early.
21
00:00:42,554 --> 00:00:44,725
Damn it. He's always walking
in on us doing something lame.
22
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,166
I know. God.
23
00:00:46,191 --> 00:00:48,158
See, this is the kind of thing
that no one warns you about
24
00:00:48,183 --> 00:00:49,907
when you agree to allow
a world famous pop star
25
00:00:49,932 --> 00:00:50,812
to move in with you.
26
00:00:50,837 --> 00:00:52,229
- Okay. What do we do?
- Uh...
27
00:00:52,254 --> 00:00:53,662
I don't... um...
28
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:54,734
I don't... uh, just be cool.
29
00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:56,974
Yeah, just be cool.
30
00:00:58,039 --> 00:01:00,827
Uh... um...
31
00:01:07,421 --> 00:01:08,759
Hey, guys.
32
00:01:08,784 --> 00:01:10,390
- Hey, how you doing, man?
- COOPER: Yeah, all right.
33
00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:11,453
Hey, you know that
feeling when you know
34
00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,589
- you're in love right away?
- Oh, totally.
35
00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:14,594
Like, uh, when we first started
36
00:01:14,619 --> 00:01:15,738
mixing M&M's in with our popcorn.
37
00:01:15,763 --> 00:01:20,258
(CHUCKLES) So, who's the lucky lady?
38
00:01:20,283 --> 00:01:21,505
Vanessa Cole.
39
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,470
That country singer who sings
"That Dog Ain't Right."
40
00:01:23,495 --> 00:01:25,363
- Oh, we love that song, right?
- CLAIRE: Yeah.
41
00:01:25,388 --> 00:01:28,976
♪ Oh, he'll chew your stuff
and bark all night ♪
42
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:32,170
♪ He'll bite your ankles
with all his might ♪
43
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:34,181
♪ Yes, it's plain to see ♪
44
00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:36,853
BOTH: ♪ That dog ain't right. ♪
45
00:01:36,878 --> 00:01:38,944
(BOTH LAUGH)
46
00:01:41,784 --> 00:01:43,781
So, you're dating Vanessa.
47
00:01:44,928 --> 00:01:46,638
Well, before she goes on her fall tour,
48
00:01:46,663 --> 00:01:48,594
I want to surprise her with
a big, romantic gesture,
49
00:01:48,619 --> 00:01:50,601
but I'm kind of sick of my go-to moves.
50
00:01:50,626 --> 00:01:51,999
You know, like renting
out Dodger's Stadium
51
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,769
- to watch Field of Dreams...
- Right.
52
00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:55,469
Or eating a 12-course
meal at the Vatican.
53
00:01:55,494 --> 00:01:56,680
Of course.
54
00:01:57,039 --> 00:01:58,359
How did you pull that off?
55
00:01:58,384 --> 00:01:59,473
Oh, I know the owner.
56
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:01,741
God?
57
00:02:02,871 --> 00:02:04,055
So, I was thinking,
58
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,716
you guys have been together
for half my life...
59
00:02:06,741 --> 00:02:08,172
Feels like a hurtful
way to keep time.
60
00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:09,222
No.
61
00:02:10,312 --> 00:02:12,679
What big, romantic moves have
you done over the years?
62
00:02:12,771 --> 00:02:14,269
- Oh. (LAUGHS)
- Oh. (LAUGHS)
63
00:02:14,294 --> 00:02:15,799
- Don't even get us...
- Don't get us started.
64
00:02:15,824 --> 00:02:17,070
- Right?
- Because once we start,
65
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,156
we ain't stopping.
66
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,210
Yeah. There's so many, it's like, um...
67
00:02:20,235 --> 00:02:21,633
I mean, it just goes on and on and on.
68
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:22,163
(ROLLS TONGUE)
69
00:02:22,188 --> 00:02:23,351
(BOTH STAMMERING)
70
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,476
Hmm. Well, there's that one... hmm...
71
00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:27,333
CLAIRE: Oh! Oh! Okay.
72
00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,824
- Get him. Let him know.
- Ooh. Okay. So...
73
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,753
Let him know. So, just last week,
74
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,031
Jake totally surprised me by
filling up my car with gas.
75
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:36,976
Mm-hmm.
76
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,863
'Cause everyone knows that
the way to a woman's heart
77
00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:41,746
is through her gas tank.
78
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,612
That's not a euphemism.
79
00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:47,514
JAKE: Oh, I know.
80
00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,894
Um, like, uh, Claire,
she always leaves me
81
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,694
cute, little, sexy notes
82
00:02:51,719 --> 00:02:54,367
like this one I found in
my, uh, briefcase today.
83
00:02:54,392 --> 00:02:56,798
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:59,776
(SEXY VOICE): "Jake,
please buy lightbulbs."
85
00:03:02,869 --> 00:03:06,058
I mean, I can't be the only one
who's getting goose bumps. Huh?
86
00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:07,558
Look at that. (CHUCKLES)
87
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,007
You know what? We're past
all that stuff. You know?
88
00:03:10,032 --> 00:03:11,757
I mean, I don't have to
prove I love someone
89
00:03:11,782 --> 00:03:14,148
when I regularly pick up their
prescription toothpaste.
90
00:03:14,173 --> 00:03:15,143
Aw, yeah.
91
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,125
That's right, baby.
92
00:03:16,150 --> 00:03:18,008
(INHALES)
93
00:03:19,761 --> 00:03:21,255
(COUGHS)
94
00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:25,157
It's working.
95
00:03:25,182 --> 00:03:27,704
It's working and, uh, so are we.
96
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,611
All right, well, let me know
97
00:03:30,636 --> 00:03:31,693
if you think of anything.
98
00:03:31,718 --> 00:03:33,844
- All right.
- (LAUGHS)
99
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,625
You know, babe, I didn't want to
embarrass you in front of Cooper,
100
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,219
but that toothpaste is not working.
101
00:03:43,648 --> 00:03:45,625
♪ Imagine me and you ♪
102
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:46,934
♪ I do ♪
103
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,643
♪ I think about you day and night ♪
104
00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:51,530
♪ It's only right ♪
105
00:03:51,555 --> 00:03:54,650
♪ So happy together ♪
106
00:03:54,675 --> 00:03:56,632
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
107
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:57,951
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. ♪
108
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:02,656
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
109
00:04:05,039 --> 00:04:06,735
I'd like to propose a toast.
110
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,949
Yay.
111
00:04:08,883 --> 00:04:10,483
To my beautiful wife
112
00:04:10,508 --> 00:04:12,961
who makes me excited to
wake up every day. Aw.
113
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,218
Happy birthday, baby.
114
00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:15,963
Ah, happy birthday.
115
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,424
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Super sweet.
116
00:04:18,449 --> 00:04:20,916
Cooper says happy birthday, as well.
117
00:04:20,941 --> 00:04:22,540
He'd be here, but he
rented out SeaWorld
118
00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:24,556
so he and Vanessa could
watch Finding Nemo.
119
00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:26,992
Do you think he just doesn't
know about movie theaters?
120
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:30,872
- That seems a little extravagant.
- CLAIRE: Right?
121
00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,182
It's hard not to feel
like unromantic losers
122
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,416
when you're living with a celebrity
123
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,810
who, for Valentine's Day,
124
00:04:35,835 --> 00:04:39,570
bought his girlfriend a panda
holding a box of chocolates.
125
00:04:39,595 --> 00:04:41,153
An actual panda.
126
00:04:42,551 --> 00:04:44,473
I mean, is it okay that
we don't do those things?
127
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,865
Of course it is.
128
00:04:45,890 --> 00:04:47,252
That big, showy stuff
is for new couples
129
00:04:47,277 --> 00:04:49,636
who don't know what true love is.
130
00:04:49,661 --> 00:04:50,395
GERALD: I don't know.
131
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,874
I think every once in a while
132
00:04:51,899 --> 00:04:53,659
a big move can be nice.
133
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,650
Trust me, honey, a small,
quiet dinner with my family,
134
00:04:55,675 --> 00:04:57,015
that's all I need.
135
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,407
Right? I mean, married
people don't need to do
136
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,403
- that over-the-top, crazy stuff.
- (GASPS)
137
00:05:01,428 --> 00:05:03,387
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
138
00:05:03,412 --> 00:05:05,432
- Daddy, is this for me?
- Yes.
139
00:05:05,457 --> 00:05:09,410
♪ My Bonnie lies over the ocean ♪
140
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:13,728
♪ My Bonnie lies over the sea... ♪
141
00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:15,258
What the hell is this?
142
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:18,557
Oh, there's Cliff and Betty. June!
143
00:05:18,582 --> 00:05:20,920
Bonnie, I know we've missed a
lot of big events together
144
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,493
while we were working,
so I decided to gather
145
00:05:22,518 --> 00:05:24,791
our best friends and our family
146
00:05:24,816 --> 00:05:25,847
to show you just how much
147
00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:28,224
your life and your love means to me.
148
00:05:28,249 --> 00:05:31,623
BOTH: ♪ My Bonnie lies over the ocean ♪
149
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:37,110
♪ 'Cause there's only
one Bonnie for me. ♪
150
00:05:39,813 --> 00:05:41,992
(SQUEALS)
151
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:43,601
Oh, I was wrong, Claire.
152
00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:45,968
This is what true love is.
153
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:54,053
(SIGHS)
154
00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:55,669
Claire-bear, we're good, right?
155
00:05:55,694 --> 00:05:57,030
Our fire's still burning?
156
00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:58,722
Yeah, of course it is.
157
00:06:01,814 --> 00:06:04,737
No, I mean, when Cooper
does a grand gesture,
158
00:06:04,762 --> 00:06:06,073
it's one thing, but now your parents?
159
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:08,981
No, babe, we are en fuego.
160
00:06:09,006 --> 00:06:10,680
Okay?
161
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,839
We just need to accept that our fire
162
00:06:12,864 --> 00:06:14,805
is more of a controlled burn.
163
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,359
I guess that sounds good.
164
00:06:18,384 --> 00:06:21,333
Yeah, we're-we're a safe
and sensible flame. Right?
165
00:06:21,496 --> 00:06:23,621
We're like, uh, carbon
monoxide poisoning.
166
00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:26,562
You can't detect it, but
it'll take your breath away.
167
00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:29,514
Definitely. You know, it's
like those fake candles
168
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:31,511
that they have at The
Cheesecake Factory.
169
00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:34,965
- Consistent, yet electric.
- Yep.
170
00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:38,630
(LISPING): Yeah. You know, I just...
171
00:06:38,655 --> 00:06:40,550
I just want to make sure
we're still passionate.
172
00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:41,983
You know?
173
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:44,123
(LISPING): Sweetie,
we are so passionate.
174
00:06:44,148 --> 00:06:46,215
It's all good.
175
00:06:46,298 --> 00:06:48,895
Oh, wait, stop, babe.
We forgot to kiss.
176
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,122
(SIGHS)
177
00:06:50,238 --> 00:06:52,526
Well, let's just have a
makeup kiss at breakfast.
178
00:06:52,551 --> 00:06:55,957
Okay? Mm. Good night.
179
00:06:57,411 --> 00:06:59,200
Sleep tight, sweetie.
180
00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:01,261
Okay.
181
00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:11,339
I have been married to
Claire for four years now,
182
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,664
and I just want to do something big
183
00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,539
to remind her how much I love her.
184
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:17,456
So what's, like, a cool,
185
00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:20,105
over-the-top romantic move I could do?
186
00:07:20,411 --> 00:07:22,418
Do you want the name of my stadium guy?
187
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,078
I can't rent out Dodger Stadium.
188
00:07:28,027 --> 00:07:30,006
Are you not a baseball fan?
189
00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:31,835
Eh...
190
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:35,161
Yeah, dude, that's the only
speed bump in that plan.
191
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,297
- What about a private flight to Fiji?
- All right.
192
00:07:39,322 --> 00:07:40,807
Listen, you are at a Bentley,
193
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:42,747
I'm-a need you at a bus pass, okay?
194
00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:48,778
What is the most affordable
grand gesture you've done?
195
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:51,465
Well, I got my last girlfriend's
name tattooed on my body.
196
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:52,989
Oh, Claire loves tattoos!
197
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,277
Ah, but that might only be
when they're on The Rock.
198
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:56,831
Dwayne is such a sweet guy.
199
00:07:56,856 --> 00:07:57,481
Why don't I text him
200
00:07:57,506 --> 00:07:59,043
to see if he can take
Claire on a picnic.
201
00:07:59,068 --> 00:08:00,161
No!
202
00:08:02,104 --> 00:08:03,697
No!
203
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,959
Sorry. No. I...
204
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,309
I don't want that.
205
00:08:10,469 --> 00:08:13,464
But that tattoo idea
is perfect, you know.
206
00:08:13,489 --> 00:08:16,768
It-It's sexy, it's permanent, you know.
207
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,207
Plus, Claire would never see it coming
208
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,639
because she knows I'm
afraid of needles. (LAUGHS)
209
00:08:22,749 --> 00:08:26,550
- (NEEDLES BUZZING)
- Ahh!
210
00:08:27,059 --> 00:08:30,284
Hey, uh, what are we talking
on the pain scale here, huh?
211
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:31,132
It's more of a tickle.
212
00:08:31,157 --> 00:08:34,302
(SCREAMING)
213
00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:35,967
Ooh, tickly.
214
00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:37,902
So, Jake, where'd you like
215
00:08:37,927 --> 00:08:39,669
to get your tattoo today?
216
00:08:39,694 --> 00:08:42,283
Uh, probably a cleaner
room, that'd be nice,
217
00:08:42,308 --> 00:08:45,134
uh, maybe somewhere with
a little more privacy.
218
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,371
He means where on your body.
219
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,550
Oh.
220
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:52,178
Well, as Captain Hook says
with his treasure maps,
221
00:08:52,203 --> 00:08:53,525
"Flex marks the spot."
222
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:54,637
Huh?
223
00:08:54,662 --> 00:08:56,466
He wants it on his shoulder.
224
00:08:56,491 --> 00:08:58,919
Jake, are you absolutely
sure about this?
225
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,487
Yeah, I am, I'm-I'm sure.
226
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:02,759
Uh, you know, I'm-I'm
crazy about Claire.
227
00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:04,383
I want to do something crazy for her,
228
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,983
something big, something
romantic, you know?
229
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:08,120
Got it.
230
00:09:08,145 --> 00:09:11,536
I can make your junk
look like a dragon.
231
00:09:12,746 --> 00:09:16,251
Uh, great brainstorming sesh,
buddy, that's-that's nice,
232
00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:18,502
but, um, I was thinking
something a little less scary
233
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:20,584
and a little more, uh, swirly.
234
00:09:20,609 --> 00:09:22,070
You're the boss.
235
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,494
Okay, just raise your finger
236
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,483
if you need me to stop for any reason.
237
00:09:26,508 --> 00:09:28,673
(CHUCKLES) The only finger
I'll be raising is my thumb
238
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,629
because hell yeah, dude.
239
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:34,111
- (NEEDLE BUZZING)
- (SCREAMING)
240
00:09:34,136 --> 00:09:35,875
Ha-ha!
241
00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:39,317
It tickles! You were right!
242
00:09:39,342 --> 00:09:41,795
It tickles so bad!
243
00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:54,565
Oh, Jake, guess what,
244
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:57,045
there was a crossword
clue about the IRS.
245
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,870
It was ten letters, started with a "C."
246
00:09:58,895 --> 00:10:00,292
Compulsory.
247
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,020
Where have you been?
248
00:10:07,045 --> 00:10:09,081
Well, I had lunch with Coop-dog,
249
00:10:09,106 --> 00:10:10,956
went and picked up your lightbulbs.
250
00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:12,433
Oh.
251
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:14,959
Oh, and I, uh, slammed
a little body art.
252
00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:16,649
Wait, what?
253
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,764
Oh, you're talking about
my "champ stamp"?
254
00:10:19,988 --> 00:10:23,388
Jake, is that a freaking tattoo?
Oh, my God, well, let me see it.
255
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:27,075
Easy, easy. No touching the dancers.
256
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:32,144
He said I'm not supposed to take
the bandages off yet, but, uh,
257
00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:36,139
tat-rats like us don't
play by the rules, so...
258
00:10:36,164 --> 00:10:38,892
(MUTTERING)
259
00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:43,617
Ready? Here, ready?
260
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:47,377
Ah, just peel that...
261
00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:50,168
(MOANS)
262
00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:01,282
Woo. (LAUGHS)
263
00:11:02,426 --> 00:11:04,499
Jake, aw!
264
00:11:06,276 --> 00:11:08,910
You got my name tattooed on your arm.
265
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,268
Yup.
266
00:11:10,411 --> 00:11:11,778
Did it hurt?
267
00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:14,402
I screamed so much they made me
put my own socks in my mouth.
268
00:11:15,627 --> 00:11:18,769
Oh, my God, well, this is the
most romantic thing ever.
269
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,292
- But...
- But what?
270
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,489
Nothing. It's just...
271
00:11:26,514 --> 00:11:29,989
I don't know, this is so sweet,
and it just makes me feel bad
272
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,199
'cause I've never done anything
big like this for you.
273
00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:34,996
Sea bass, don't you dare.
274
00:11:40,025 --> 00:11:41,686
I may be painted,
275
00:11:41,711 --> 00:11:44,164
but you're the masterpiece
around here, okay?
276
00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:48,294
(LAUGHS) Okay. Ah...
277
00:11:48,319 --> 00:11:51,285
You know, I've never hooked
up with a tattoo guy before.
278
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,973
Oh, well, all that's about
to change because, uh,
279
00:11:53,998 --> 00:11:55,896
as they say in Space Jam,
280
00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:57,922
"Y'all ready for this?"
281
00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:03,441
Well, I'm excited to help, Claire,
282
00:12:03,466 --> 00:12:05,118
but just because Jake did
something over the top
283
00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:06,865
doesn't mean you have to as well.
284
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:10,639
Mm, you have no idea how
marriage works, do you?
285
00:12:11,824 --> 00:12:14,182
I just felt so special
when I saw his tattoo,
286
00:12:14,223 --> 00:12:16,504
I want to make sure that
Jake feels the same way.
287
00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:19,041
Okay, well, I usually start
with something they like
288
00:12:19,066 --> 00:12:21,278
and then build from it.
So what's Jake into?
289
00:12:21,463 --> 00:12:24,464
Um, well, he is really into
290
00:12:24,489 --> 00:12:27,429
food, sleeping, playing ball...
291
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:30,096
Oh, my God, I married
a Golden Retriever.
292
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,379
You, uh, you mentioned food,
293
00:12:36,404 --> 00:12:39,561
would, uh, would Jake like to
cook a meal with Gordon Ramsey?
294
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:40,851
If you pay extra
295
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,317
he yells at you until you
feel like absolute garbage,
296
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:43,492
it's pretty great.
297
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:47,132
Uh, well, he's-he's not
into gourmet food.
298
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,899
Okay, um, what about a sparring
session with Conor McGregor?
299
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:53,917
If you ask nicely he'll knock
you out, it's pretty great.
300
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:56,339
Are all these people in your phone?
301
00:12:56,364 --> 00:12:57,411
Yeah, these are just the people
302
00:12:57,436 --> 00:12:59,276
I'm playing Words With
Friends against right now.
303
00:12:59,798 --> 00:13:02,739
Okay, give me that thing. I
need to see your contacts.
304
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,354
Oh, my God, you're
friends with The Rock?
305
00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:07,534
(LAUGHS)
306
00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:08,658
Oh, my God...
307
00:13:08,683 --> 00:13:09,586
No!
308
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:15,603
No. No, um,
309
00:13:15,932 --> 00:13:18,015
yeah, I don't think
Jake would like that.
310
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,505
(CHUCKLES)
311
00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:29,704
Whoa, man, nice ink, bro.
312
00:13:29,729 --> 00:13:31,681
It's killer. I'm a bit of a
313
00:13:31,706 --> 00:13:33,245
squid myself.
314
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,322
Thinking about getting a whole sleeve.
315
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:37,450
That looks bad.
316
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:38,793
Yeah, badass.
317
00:13:39,424 --> 00:13:42,742
I heard guys like us can't be
buried in a Jewish cemetery.
318
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,904
No, I'm saying that looks nasty.
319
00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:48,196
I'm a dirty dog, through and through.
320
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,337
Sir, I'm trying to tell you
321
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:53,227
your tattoo is horribly infected.
322
00:13:54,848 --> 00:13:56,876
So that's not just muscle
juice leaking out of it?
323
00:14:02,354 --> 00:14:04,454
(WINCING)
324
00:14:04,479 --> 00:14:05,592
Stop.
325
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,229
Jake, I-I'm not trying to scare you,
326
00:14:08,254 --> 00:14:09,812
but this looks very serious.
327
00:14:09,837 --> 00:14:12,274
That infection is verging on necrosis.
328
00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,361
I'm sorry, I just don't see
329
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,518
a world where we're not amputating.
330
00:14:14,543 --> 00:14:16,746
(HIGH-PITCHED): No... put it down!
What are you doing?!
331
00:14:16,771 --> 00:14:18,518
Hey, hey! What's going on?
332
00:14:18,543 --> 00:14:20,736
(BOTH LAUGH) Oh, my God.
333
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,638
Your face. Your face.
334
00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:28,886
(IMITATING YELPS)
335
00:14:29,084 --> 00:14:31,621
It's for the lime, Jake.
336
00:14:32,892 --> 00:14:35,252
- BONNIE: Oh, my God.
- Don't worry, buddy.
337
00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:36,455
We're just gonna give
you this antibiotic
338
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,596
and it should clear it
up in a week or so.
339
00:14:38,621 --> 00:14:42,335
But I have to ask, Jake, why on
Earth would you get a tattoo?
340
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,913
Well, because I thought
only new couples
341
00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:45,596
had to do these grand gestures.
342
00:14:45,621 --> 00:14:47,306
But then, you two started doing them.
343
00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:49,146
Well, technically, only Gerald did one.
344
00:14:49,171 --> 00:14:52,215
Oh, I repaid the favor.
Nothing's for free, Jake.
345
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,982
(CHUCKLES)
346
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:01,011
(RETCHES)
347
00:15:01,036 --> 00:15:03,829
All right, I guess I should
probably sterilize this,
348
00:15:03,854 --> 00:15:05,188
being... all right,
349
00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:07,142
there we go.
350
00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:09,914
Other arm, other arm, please.
351
00:15:09,939 --> 00:15:11,858
Other arm. All right, very well.
352
00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:13,947
Could you give me a countdown, please?
353
00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:16,603
Oh, I wish I could, but
I'm not a pediatrician.
354
00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:18,447
All right, don't be surprised
355
00:15:18,472 --> 00:15:20,274
if the antibiotics make
your arm a little sore.
356
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:22,469
And keep washing that area,
or we'll have to, you know...
357
00:15:22,494 --> 00:15:23,592
(SCREAMS)
358
00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:25,356
(BOTH LAUGH)
359
00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,184
Bonnie, Bonnie.
360
00:15:27,209 --> 00:15:28,816
He fell for it again.
361
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:32,699
Hey, Claire, you home?
362
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,323
Jake. Where have you been?
363
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,259
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
364
00:15:36,284 --> 00:15:38,004
Uh, I-I...
365
00:15:38,029 --> 00:15:39,681
Got a little infection
going on in my tat.
366
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,199
What?
367
00:15:40,224 --> 00:15:42,967
Yeah, my arms are so sore, I
can barely move them both.
368
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,881
Man, this is awful timing.
Well, I'm not supposed to say,
369
00:15:44,906 --> 00:15:46,840
but Claire's planned an
awesome surprise for you.
370
00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:48,018
Really? What is it?
371
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:49,276
Check your phone.
372
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,099
(GRUNTING): Okay.
373
00:15:51,796 --> 00:15:54,007
"Dr. Dunk," that's me,
374
00:15:55,697 --> 00:15:58,359
"Grab your keys and make a
fast break to Henley Park
375
00:15:58,384 --> 00:15:59,771
or you'll be called for a foul."
376
00:15:59,796 --> 00:16:01,341
This is basketball-related?
377
00:16:01,366 --> 00:16:03,223
Yeah. All I can say is that
Claire's really excited
378
00:16:03,248 --> 00:16:04,969
to do this grand gesture for you.
379
00:16:04,994 --> 00:16:07,477
Ah, nice. I mean, I
can't play basketball,
380
00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:09,436
but I might as well drive
down there and thank her.
381
00:16:09,461 --> 00:16:11,469
Grab my keys, man. Let's go. (CHUCKLES)
382
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:13,149
Ha, ha.
383
00:16:17,463 --> 00:16:20,971
You know what? You know what...
You steer, I'll do the pedals.
384
00:16:25,113 --> 00:16:26,451
CLAIRE: Jake!
385
00:16:26,476 --> 00:16:28,473
Oh, I'm so glad you're here. What...
386
00:16:28,498 --> 00:16:30,389
Why are you walking like
you've been lassoed?
387
00:16:32,269 --> 00:16:34,246
Can I talk to you for a
second over here, please?
388
00:16:34,271 --> 00:16:35,949
Over here...
389
00:16:35,974 --> 00:16:39,160
Yeah? Yeah, uh, listen, um,
390
00:16:39,185 --> 00:16:42,337
I love that you planned this
grand gesture for me, but, um...
391
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:45,161
My champ stamp got infected, and, uh,
392
00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:47,524
I can't play basketball today.
393
00:16:48,202 --> 00:16:49,401
Seriously?
394
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,859
- Yeah.
- (SIGHS) That stinks.
395
00:16:51,884 --> 00:16:55,246
Well, you know how you've always
wanted to play with NBA players?
396
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:56,939
Yes.
397
00:16:56,964 --> 00:17:00,980
I kind of got you into a charity
tournament with your favorite.
398
00:17:02,452 --> 00:17:04,156
It's Ben Simmons.
399
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:08,038
(SQUEAKING): What? He's...
aww, come on.
400
00:17:08,063 --> 00:17:11,318
What? Is it...? How did you do this?
401
00:17:11,343 --> 00:17:12,476
Uh, Cooper knows him.
402
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,526
Yeah, I didn't even know
Ben played basketball.
403
00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:16,212
But if he's as good at this
game as he is at Scrabble,
404
00:17:16,237 --> 00:17:17,204
you're gonna be in great shape.
405
00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:19,384
(GROANS)
406
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:21,134
Hey, Coop.
407
00:17:21,159 --> 00:17:22,753
- Hey, man.
- Hey, Claire.
408
00:17:22,778 --> 00:17:24,903
What's up? What's up, Ben Simmons?
409
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,288
OK. So, um, anyway, um,
I'm so sorry, Ben,
410
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,895
but I think we're gonna
have to take a rain check,
411
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,853
'cause my husband's
in pretty serious...
412
00:17:31,878 --> 00:17:33,601
Awe of his amazing wife.
413
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,225
We doing this, man.
414
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,977
We gonna do this.
415
00:17:37,233 --> 00:17:39,171
CLAIRE: Okay, you got this, babe!
416
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,962
All right, guys, let's have some fun.
417
00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:45,635
♪ Lonely bird, broken
wings, but I still fly ♪
418
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,960
♪ Ooh, change up,
hunger never came up ♪
419
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,910
♪ From Oakland out to Philly,
it's the same love ♪
420
00:17:50,935 --> 00:17:52,664
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
421
00:17:52,689 --> 00:17:54,610
♪ They got to call me Mr. T... ♪
422
00:17:54,635 --> 00:17:56,563
It's all good. Just getting
used to the speed.
423
00:17:56,588 --> 00:17:58,823
♪ Chasing history, 20 years from now ♪
424
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:00,696
♪ The generation will
still mention me ♪
425
00:18:01,658 --> 00:18:03,884
- Oh...
- ♪ We play to win ♪
426
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:06,463
♪ Making sure I don't
say this all again... ♪
427
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:08,523
I thought you played college ball.
428
00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:10,211
That was a pass, bro.
429
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:12,610
Well, I, uh, really thought
that Jake was gonna be able
430
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:14,446
to play without his
arms, but it turns out,
431
00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:16,435
I didn't know what basketball was.
432
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,929
Hey. I love you, babe. You got this.
433
00:18:24,235 --> 00:18:26,094
All right, Ben, let's huddle up.
434
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,509
Do we have to? Your shoulder
smells like really old turkey.
435
00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:29,769
Listen, I got an idea.
436
00:18:29,794 --> 00:18:30,893
We're gonna win this game with some
437
00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:33,003
good old-fashioned fundamentals.
438
00:18:34,754 --> 00:18:37,542
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
439
00:18:38,086 --> 00:18:39,696
Go with what you know, bro.
440
00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,982
(CHEERING)
441
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,947
(SCREAMS)
442
00:18:55,907 --> 00:18:58,675
(SIGHS) Today was so
amazing, Claire-Bear.
443
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,634
- Yeah? Oh...
- (GRUNTS)
444
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,252
Get your butt in here for a hug.
445
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:07,520
- Oh...
- (SHOUTS)
446
00:19:07,954 --> 00:19:09,749
Do it... Oh!
447
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,874
Okay. (CHUCKLES) Right?
448
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:12,790
Worked out well. Yeah.
449
00:19:12,815 --> 00:19:14,014
Uh... pleasure doing
business with you. Yeah.
450
00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:15,579
Yes, yes.
451
00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:19,017
Ah, I'm gonna have to think of
something huge to top this.
452
00:19:19,042 --> 00:19:22,188
Uh, is it crazy that I don't
want another grand gesture?
453
00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:24,725
I mean, they're sweet and
all, but I kind of prefer
454
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:25,916
when you just do little things,
455
00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:28,425
like, how you always
fill up my car with gas.
456
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,188
Or those cute little
notesyou always leave me.
457
00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:30,797
Yeah.
458
00:19:30,822 --> 00:19:32,155
Or like how you always
bring an extra spoon
459
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,411
whenever you eat ice cream.
460
00:19:33,436 --> 00:19:34,568
Yeah, exactly.
461
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:36,660
They're more like bland
gestures, but...
462
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,205
- Mm.
- They're better.
463
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,222
Because that means that we're thinking
464
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,046
about each other all the time.
465
00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:42,639
Totally. Like, I'm with you right now,
466
00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:44,308
but I still miss you whenever I blink.
467
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:45,267
Claire, where'd you...
468
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,060
Oh, my God, Claire, I can't...
469
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,350
Claire, where'd you...
Oh, there you are.
470
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:50,354
- (LAUGHS)
- Oh, my God.
471
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,633
You guys are geniuses.
472
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,219
- We're listening.
- Go on.
473
00:19:54,244 --> 00:19:56,344
I kept trying to surprise
Vanessa with a big move,
474
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,684
but none of them were having an impact.
475
00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,961
So I thought, "What would
Jake and Claire do?"
476
00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:02,961
And I filled up her gas tank and
she went absolutely nuts for it.
477
00:20:02,986 --> 00:20:05,095
Oh, my God. Well, that's amazing.
478
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,632
Yeah, I know. And I got to
say, I'm-I'm really grateful
479
00:20:07,657 --> 00:20:09,720
for you guys letting me stay here.
480
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:12,046
You're really onto something
with this normal life.
481
00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:14,209
(JAKE AND CLAIRE CHUCKLE)
482
00:20:14,623 --> 00:20:17,390
Well, uh, we're happy to
have you here, Coops.
483
00:20:17,415 --> 00:20:18,725
And, uh, take it from us:
484
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,384
sometimes $40 of gas is all it takes.
485
00:20:21,409 --> 00:20:24,721
$40? I'm gonna need the
number of your jet fuel guy.
486
00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:28,290
Oh. Oh, you filled up her plane?
487
00:20:28,315 --> 00:20:30,496
Yeah. Different situation.
488
00:20:31,038 --> 00:20:32,864
Yeah, she said fueling
up her private jet
489
00:20:32,889 --> 00:20:35,053
was the most thoughtful thing
anyone's ever done for her.
490
00:20:35,078 --> 00:20:37,600
Thanks. $40, ha...
491
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,242
- Oh.
- Ah.
492
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,006
(PHONE BUZZING)
493
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,528
Cooper's phone.
494
00:20:42,553 --> 00:20:44,510
Uh... (CLATTERING)
495
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,406
Oh... oh, my God. It's The Rock.
496
00:20:46,431 --> 00:20:47,568
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
497
00:20:47,593 --> 00:20:48,793
- Yeah! Look.
- Can I see that?
498
00:20:48,818 --> 00:20:50,977
- Ooh, wow.
- (SHOUTS, GROANS)
36184
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