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1
00:00:10.218 --> 00:00:11.776
Well, that's our show for today.
2
00:00:12.120 --> 00:00:13.923
But before we close,
I'd like to invite you all
3
00:00:14.180 --> 00:00:17.217
to join us here at KACL
in wishing a fond farewell
4
00:00:17.517 --> 00:00:22.796
to our Happy Chef, Leo Pascale,
as he bubble-wraps his crepe pan
5
00:00:23.189 --> 00:00:25.623
and heads south
towards sunny Santa Fe.
6
00:00:26.109 --> 00:00:30.182
Leo, you stirred us
with your passion...
7
00:00:30.572 --> 00:00:34.201
...melted us with your charm,
added spice to our lives.
8
00:00:34.534 --> 00:00:38.573
Now, as you whisk yourself away...
9
00:00:38.955 --> 00:00:43.346
...let's not say goodbye,
but rather tartare for now.
10
00:00:45.462 --> 00:00:48.818
This is Dr Frasier Crane, KACL 780.
11
00:00:49.132 --> 00:00:53.569
Well, at least you stopped short
of saying, "I'll be fricasseeing you."
12
00:00:54.679 --> 00:00:55.873
You ready to go to Leo's party?
13
00:00:56.970 --> 00:00:58.800
Oh, dear God,
there is nothing I detest more
14
00:00:58.266 --> 00:01:00.621
than a KACL goodbye party.
15
00:01:00.894 --> 00:01:02.247
They're all the same.
16
00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:05.516
Twist-top wine and a bunch of people
standing around awkwardly,
17
00:01:05.815 --> 00:01:08.648
trying to summon up some affection
for someone they hardly even know.
18
00:01:08.943 --> 00:01:10.695
It always ends up
reeking of insincerity.
19
00:01:10.987 --> 00:01:14.946
What are we gonna do, doc?
He's leaving us.
20
00:01:15.283 --> 00:01:19.435
- Bulldog and Leo were tight.
- Well, Bulldog certainly is.
21
00:01:19.954 --> 00:01:23.833
I love that guy, man.
He'd give me all his leftovers.
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00:01:24.209 --> 00:01:27.326
I warned Leo, you keep feeding him,
he'll keep coming back.
23
00:01:27.671 --> 00:01:30.265
- Are you going to the party?
-Actually, I think I'm gonna pass.
24
00:01:30.548 --> 00:01:33.160
Come on. Doc, you gotta at least
have a drink, give him a hug.
25
00:01:33.343 --> 00:01:34.981
That is precisely
what I'm trying to avoid.
26
00:01:35.220 --> 00:01:36.778
When did we become
a society of huggers?
27
00:01:37.550 --> 00:01:40.286
Oh, we hug for everything nowadays.
I mean, "Hello." Hug.
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00:01:40.600 --> 00:01:43.478
"Congratulations." Hug.
"Nice haircut." Hug.
29
00:01:44.229 --> 00:01:45.378
It's absurd.
30
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I mean, if we want to express
some real emotion for someone,
31
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- where is there left to go?
- I've had good luck
32
00:01:50.568 --> 00:01:52.160
with the storage closet.
33
00:01:53.571 --> 00:01:55.562
You know, I think you're
way too uptight about this.
34
00:01:55.824 --> 00:01:57.143
No, no, no, I see the doc's point.
35
00:01:57.367 --> 00:01:59.562
We all have different ways
of saying goodbye.
36
00:01:59.828 --> 00:02:04.697
Me, I prefer this method.
Get out! Come on! I got a show to do.
37
00:02:06.501 --> 00:02:08.492
Well, I think hugging
is very healthy.
38
00:02:08.795 --> 00:02:11.104
I read somewhere
that if you have physical contact
39
00:02:11.381 --> 00:02:14.179
on a regular basis,
it can actually extend your life.
40
00:02:14.509 --> 00:02:17.785
Well, in that case,
you should outlive Styrofoam.
41
00:02:22.308 --> 00:02:25.186
- Frasier, you made it.
- Well, Leo, you know I wouldn't miss
42
00:02:25.478 --> 00:02:30.188
- saying goodbye to you for the world.
ROZ: We're gonna miss you so much.
43
00:02:30.608 --> 00:02:34.283
We sure are. Oh, what the heck.
44
00:02:36.364 --> 00:02:40.596
You have no idea
how hard this is for me.
45
00:02:48.126 --> 00:02:49.400
FRASIER:
Thank you.
46
00:02:50.462 --> 00:02:52.930
I must say, Niles,
that is a striking tie you're wearing.
47
00:02:53.214 --> 00:02:54.806
Thank you. It was a gift from Maris.
48
00:02:55.910 --> 00:02:56.843
She had it made for me
to commemorate the end
49
00:02:57.930 --> 00:02:59.400
of that dreadful winter
she had her obesity scare.
50
00:02:59.262 --> 00:03:01.139
FRASIER:
Oh, yes.
51
00:03:02.150 --> 00:03:04.654
I remember her struggle
to lose that holiday pound.
52
00:03:04.934 --> 00:03:06.890
NILES:
Yes.
53
00:03:09.220 --> 00:03:12.140
After she'd restored her figure,
she had Yoshi set fire
54
00:03:12.317 --> 00:03:14.956
to a hippopotamus topiary
she felt had taunted her.
55
00:03:15.278 --> 00:03:16.677
Yeah.
56
00:03:16.946 --> 00:03:19.176
Then, as a visual reminder
never to let herself go again,
57
00:03:19.449 --> 00:03:23.727
she had this tie made for me out
of the legs of her fat pants. Thank you.
58
00:03:24.412 --> 00:03:27.370
You know, I would think
wearing a tie that Maris gave you
59
00:03:27.666 --> 00:03:29.941
might make you feel
a little bit melancholy.
60
00:03:30.335 --> 00:03:33.133
On the contrary. I have
every reason to believe Maris and l
61
00:03:33.421 --> 00:03:35.616
- may be on the road to reconciliation.
- Really?
62
00:03:35.882 --> 00:03:37.201
- We met for lunch today.
- Mm-hm.
63
00:03:37.425 --> 00:03:39.859
I told her I couldn't stand
being in separation limbo any more,
64
00:03:40.178 --> 00:03:41.770
and unless she wanted
the marriage to end,
65
00:03:42.130 --> 00:03:44.573
- we simply had to get into counselling.
- And she agreed?
66
00:03:44.891 --> 00:03:47.530
Her exact words were
"I'll think about it,"
67
00:03:47.811 --> 00:03:49.961
but I saw a twinkle
in her eye I have not seen
68
00:03:50.230 --> 00:03:53.939
since the neighbour children
discovered our new electric fence.
69
00:03:55.652 --> 00:03:58.371
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
70
00:03:58.697 --> 00:04:01.609
- The foam is a tad listless today.
- Yes. I can tell without looking
71
00:04:01.908 --> 00:04:04.980
they've got Chad
back on steamer duty.
72
00:04:05.286 --> 00:04:06.924
You are good.
73
00:04:07.205 --> 00:04:10.277
- Excuse me, Dr Niles Crane?
- I am.
74
00:04:10.583 --> 00:04:11.936
- Here.
NILES: Oh.
75
00:04:13.336 --> 00:04:14.894
Who's sending me this?
76
00:04:15.130 --> 00:04:17.360
"Notice. Petition...
77
00:04:17.632 --> 00:04:21.671
-...for divorce."
- Sorry, man. Cool tie.
78
00:04:23.596 --> 00:04:27.589
- I don't know what to say.
- Oh... It's all right.
79
00:04:27.934 --> 00:04:31.973
Would have been nice if we'd given
therapy a try, but so be it.
80
00:04:32.355 --> 00:04:34.311
It's little consolation,
but you're to be applauded
81
00:04:34.566 --> 00:04:36.761
for how you're handling this.
A lesser man would panic.
82
00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:39.423
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I'll get her back.
83
00:04:40.530 --> 00:04:42.407
You have too much dignity
to let yourself beg.
84
00:04:42.699 --> 00:04:44.974
Please give me my phone back.
Please. Please.
85
00:04:45.243 --> 00:04:47.473
FRASIER:
Stop. Stop. Stop it!
86
00:04:47.787 --> 00:04:49.584
Listen, I know you're upset now,
but remember
87
00:04:49.831 --> 00:04:52.470
why you left Maris in the first place.
You were tired of grovelling.
88
00:04:52.792 --> 00:04:54.748
Yes, but I'm rested now.
89
00:04:57.297 --> 00:04:58.525
Fine.
90
00:04:59.341 --> 00:05:01.297
Go ahead
and toddle on back to Maris.
91
00:05:01.593 --> 00:05:03.868
Let her grind you under her boot heel
for another 12 years,
92
00:05:04.137 --> 00:05:06.480
rob you of whatever self-respect
you've retained.
93
00:05:06.306 --> 00:05:09.104
Then we can have
this conversation all over again!
94
00:05:10.435 --> 00:05:13.871
- I was unhappy, wasn't l?
- You were miserable.
95
00:05:15.648 --> 00:05:17.525
I'm sorry.
96
00:05:17.776 --> 00:05:22.372
It's just a lot to take in.
Twelve years of my life, gone.
97
00:05:22.739 --> 00:05:26.573
Oh, don't think of it as a loss,
but rather an opportunity for growth.
98
00:05:26.910 --> 00:05:29.105
- It's not an ending, it's--
- Frasier.
99
00:05:29.371 --> 00:05:31.441
No offence, but I'm familiar
with all the platitudes.
100
00:05:31.706 --> 00:05:35.255
I've just been served divorce papers.
I need a little time to let it sink in.
101
00:05:35.585 --> 00:05:38.179
If you don't mind, maybe we could
not talk about it for a while.
102
00:05:38.463 --> 00:05:40.579
- Of course.
- Hi. Can I get you guys anything?
103
00:05:40.840 --> 00:05:43.912
No, thank you.
We've already been served.
104
00:05:47.222 --> 00:05:48.974
Sorry.
105
00:05:54.688 --> 00:05:55.962
[DOOR HANDLE JOSTLING]
106
00:05:58.608 --> 00:06:01.202
- Oh, you're back.
- Yeah, I never should have left.
107
00:06:01.486 --> 00:06:03.238
The park was a disaster.
108
00:06:03.488 --> 00:06:06.719
You remember that outfit Mrs Foster
knitted Eddie for Christmas?
109
00:06:07.330 --> 00:06:08.466
Well, I bumped into her
in the lobby,
110
00:06:08.702 --> 00:06:10.533
and she said she was gonna
be going to the park.
111
00:06:10.787 --> 00:06:12.937
And I thought it would be rude
if I didn't at least have him
112
00:06:13.206 --> 00:06:15.117
wear it one time, you know?
113
00:06:15.375 --> 00:06:17.172
Eddie, get in here.
114
00:06:25.510 --> 00:06:28.547
Look at the poor guy.
He's humiliated.
115
00:06:29.681 --> 00:06:31.512
And then, of course,
she didn't even show up.
116
00:06:31.808 --> 00:06:35.840
But you know who was there? Duke.
And two guys from the old precinct.
117
00:06:35.395 --> 00:06:38.340
"Glad to see you've got something
to do, now that you're retired."
118
00:06:38.314 --> 00:06:42.512
"Hey, Marty, if I buy you some wool,
would you knit something for me?"
119
00:06:42.902 --> 00:06:44.176
Well, it could have been worse.
120
00:06:44.404 --> 00:06:47.396
You could have been wearing
the hat she made for you.
121
00:06:47.699 --> 00:06:49.610
DAPHNE:
Oh, dear.
122
00:06:50.660 --> 00:06:53.413
Would you take that off him?
He just looks so pathetic.
123
00:06:53.913 --> 00:06:56.290
DAPHNE:
Oh, come here, you poor little fella.
124
00:06:56.291 --> 00:06:57.883
- What's in the box?
- Oh, nothing.
125
00:06:58.126 --> 00:07:00.401
Just some old stuff
I was taking down to the storage bin.
126
00:07:00.670 --> 00:07:03.742
- Great. Why don't you take this with it.
- Yeah, just set that on top.
127
00:07:04.490 --> 00:07:06.563
No, no, it'll fall off if I do.
128
00:07:06.885 --> 00:07:09.160
Hey, this is my stuff.
129
00:07:09.471 --> 00:07:11.427
- It's a box of junk.
- It's not junk.
130
00:07:11.681 --> 00:07:15.435
Oh, rubbish. It's a bunch of useless
gadgets you haven't used in years.
131
00:07:15.769 --> 00:07:20.810
Like this remote control
to God knows what. Useless.
132
00:07:20.482 --> 00:07:22.740
Just like this, whatever it is.
133
00:07:22.359 --> 00:07:26.591
That's a Steam Master 2000,
like on TV. "Live life wrinkle-free."
134
00:07:26.946 --> 00:07:31.144
It even comes with an attachment
that cooks Chinese vegetables.
135
00:07:31.534 --> 00:07:32.683
[DOORBELL RINGS]
136
00:07:32.911 --> 00:07:35.505
It's Niles. I'm taking him to lunch
to get his mind off his troubles.
137
00:07:35.830 --> 00:07:38.867
- Something we shouldn't talk about?
- No reason we shouldn't talk about it.
138
00:07:39.209 --> 00:07:41.677
I don't think he's ready
to talk about it, so we're not.
139
00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:46.201
NILES: Would you mind not talking
about it a little less loudly?
140
00:07:48.134 --> 00:07:49.806
FRASIER: Niles.
- Afternoon, all.
141
00:07:50.530 --> 00:07:51.202
- Hello, Dr Crane.
- Hi, Niles.
142
00:07:51.471 --> 00:07:55.225
I appreciate your concern, but I'm
really doing quite well with all of this.
143
00:07:55.558 --> 00:07:57.469
- Everything's gonna be fine.
MARTIN: That's good.
144
00:07:57.727 --> 00:07:59.319
I just hope you got a good
divorce lawyer.
145
00:07:59.562 --> 00:08:01.553
You've been married a long time,
you gotta make sure
146
00:08:01.815 --> 00:08:02.804
you get your fair share.
147
00:08:03.660 --> 00:08:05.296
Well, according to the terms
of our prenuptial agreement,
148
00:08:05.568 --> 00:08:08.241
I believe I'm wearing my fair share.
149
00:08:08.571 --> 00:08:09.924
Well, take a tip from your old man.
150
00:08:10.156 --> 00:08:11.589
You get over there
and take possession
151
00:08:11.825 --> 00:08:14.976
of your personal belongings before
they box them up and toss them out.
152
00:08:15.328 --> 00:08:18.470
When will you just admit
that this junk belongs in a dustbin?
153
00:08:18.373 --> 00:08:20.807
You know, I was on a case once
where the wife constantly nagged
154
00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:23.473
the husband like this. "You never
put anything in the garbage.
155
00:08:23.753 --> 00:08:25.232
Why don't you put anything
in the garbage?"
156
00:08:25.463 --> 00:08:30.140
- Well, he should've listened to her.
- He did. That's where we found her.
157
00:08:32.762 --> 00:08:36.516
You know, I think Daphne's fighting an
uphill battle with this project of hers.
158
00:08:38.893 --> 00:08:41.327
- What's that?
- It's a journal.
159
00:08:41.604 --> 00:08:43.879
Look at this.
160
00:08:44.482 --> 00:08:45.995
Isn't that Mother's handwriting?
161
00:08:46.234 --> 00:08:49.783
These must be notes
from one of her research projects.
162
00:08:51.156 --> 00:08:54.831
"It's hard to imagine two male siblings
who could be more different
163
00:08:55.160 --> 00:08:56.479
than Frasier and Niles."
164
00:08:56.745 --> 00:08:58.497
Good heavens, it's about us.
165
00:08:58.788 --> 00:09:00.221
"Though both are highly intelligent,
166
00:09:00.457 --> 00:09:02.288
Frasier is clearly
the more dominant of the two,
167
00:09:02.542 --> 00:09:06.535
while Niles remains
extremely passive." Fascinating.
168
00:09:08.173 --> 00:09:10.926
"Frasier never seems to get
enough at mealtime.
169
00:09:11.259 --> 00:09:13.900
He's nearly twice the size of Niles,
and often,
170
00:09:13.345 --> 00:09:16.860
when he thinks I'm not looking,
steals his brother's food."
171
00:09:19.809 --> 00:09:22.482
"What Niles lacks in assertiveness,
he makes up for
172
00:09:22.771 --> 00:09:26.684
in an abnormally fussy
grooming regimen."
173
00:09:28.526 --> 00:09:31.404
"Frasier is exhibiting
clearly antisocial tendencies.
174
00:09:31.696 --> 00:09:34.510
In fact, he is extremely
uncomfortable with touch,
175
00:09:34.324 --> 00:09:36.280
seeming to recoil
from all human contact."
176
00:09:36.534 --> 00:09:37.523
Where does it say that?
177
00:09:37.744 --> 00:09:40.656
All right, I added "extremely,"
but it's right there.
178
00:09:42.332 --> 00:09:44.209
Good Lord.
179
00:09:44.459 --> 00:09:46.970
This cuts rather close to the bone.
180
00:09:46.336 --> 00:09:49.550
Just yesterday Roz was accusing me
of the same thing.
181
00:09:49.339 --> 00:09:52.809
I always thought it was just
an aversion to social hugging,
182
00:09:53.134 --> 00:09:55.204
but apparently
it goes deeper than that.
183
00:09:55.470 --> 00:09:59.702
You know, maybe this is something
I should work on. What do you think?
184
00:10:03.186 --> 00:10:04.983
Niles.
185
00:10:05.230 --> 00:10:08.745
"April 3rd. Niles remains
as docile as ever.
186
00:10:09.670 --> 00:10:11.706
He constantly allows himself
to be cowed and dominated,
187
00:10:11.986 --> 00:10:14.420
especially by females."
188
00:10:14.698 --> 00:10:18.373
Well, you shouldn't let that upset you.
You've broken that pattern.
189
00:10:18.702 --> 00:10:22.297
You could've knuckled under and gone
grovelling back to Maris, but you didn't.
190
00:10:22.622 --> 00:10:27.616
You know, Niles, I don't think
I've ever been more proud of you.
191
00:10:34.900 --> 00:10:36.728
- Oh, Frasier, this is awful.
- Well, pardon me for trying.
192
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:38.809
I am new at it.
193
00:10:39.597 --> 00:10:42.191
No, no, no, you don't understand.
I did go grovelling back.
194
00:10:42.517 --> 00:10:43.506
What?
195
00:10:43.727 --> 00:10:45.365
I sent the divorce papers
back unsigned,
196
00:10:45.603 --> 00:10:47.434
along with a letter begging her
to take me back.
197
00:10:47.689 --> 00:10:49.407
- Oh, Niles, you didn't.
- Of course I did.
198
00:10:49.649 --> 00:10:52.117
You read the journal. It's who I am.
199
00:10:53.153 --> 00:10:55.144
- Well, how did she respond?
- Well, she hasn't yet.
200
00:10:55.405 --> 00:10:56.997
I just messengered it
to her this morning.
201
00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:59.959
It's her spa day.
She won't be home until...
202
00:11:03.380 --> 00:11:04.790
I still have time
to get that letter back.
203
00:11:05.400 --> 00:11:07.235
- I'm going with you.
- You're a good brother.
204
00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:09.695
This may be my last chance
to prove once and for all
205
00:11:09.961 --> 00:11:11.360
that I'm not the sort of man who...
206
00:11:12.470 --> 00:11:13.360
Whatever Mother said.
207
00:11:13.298 --> 00:11:16.210
Constantly allows himself to be cowed
and dominated, especially by females.
208
00:11:16.509 --> 00:11:19.228
- I might've known you'd memorize it.
- I'm sorry.
209
00:11:20.889 --> 00:11:22.607
You're right, that was harsh.
Come here.
210
00:11:22.849 --> 00:11:25.124
Oh, get away from me.
211
00:11:31.649 --> 00:11:34.527
FRASIER: I'm still uneasy about this.
What if one of the servants sees us?
212
00:11:34.819 --> 00:11:37.936
Impossible. They always use
Maris' spa day to play hooky.
213
00:11:38.281 --> 00:11:41.557
I just hope she
hasn't changed the locks.
214
00:11:43.370 --> 00:11:45.565
What do you know?
215
00:11:47.832 --> 00:11:49.185
You know, this is sort of exciting.
216
00:11:49.834 --> 00:11:51.870
Even as a child,
I always fancied I might make
217
00:11:52.128 --> 00:11:54.642
a first-rate society cat burglar.
I think I'm right.
218
00:11:54.923 --> 00:12:00.555
Yes. All it takes is stealth,
cunning and a key to the door.
219
00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:05.711
The letter should be over here
with the rest of Maris' unopened mail.
220
00:12:06.170 --> 00:12:07.814
Yeah, there it is. Let's go.
221
00:12:08.610 --> 00:12:09.540
[DOGS BARKING]
222
00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:14.951
Frasier, look, it's my puppies.
Oh, I've missed you.
223
00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:17.920
Hello, Gestalt. Hello, Gerhardt.
224
00:12:19.781 --> 00:12:21.499
Don't they look
just a bit agitated to you?
225
00:12:21.741 --> 00:12:25.510
Well, that's because they're excited to
see the lord has returned to the manor.
226
00:12:25.412 --> 00:12:27.972
Hello, boys.
227
00:12:28.873 --> 00:12:32.309
Oh, my God. She hasn't changed
the locks, she changed the dogs.
228
00:12:32.669 --> 00:12:36.590
- Maybe we can make it to the front.
- Right.
229
00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:40.737
[DOGS BARKING]
230
00:12:40.969 --> 00:12:42.197
[DOOR SLAMS]
231
00:12:48.351 --> 00:12:51.149
- They're toying with us.
- What are we going to do?
232
00:12:51.479 --> 00:12:53.117
Well, I guess we're just gonna
have to wait
233
00:12:53.356 --> 00:12:56.553
until Lady Baskerville
comes back from the spa!
234
00:12:56.901 --> 00:12:58.493
And explain our presence how?
235
00:12:59.700 --> 00:13:01.300
I do see your point.
236
00:13:01.614 --> 00:13:05.840
We have to find some way to distract
those beasts and make our escape.
237
00:13:07.871 --> 00:13:11.181
Wait. Tuesday is Swedish
meatball night for the staff.
238
00:13:11.541 --> 00:13:13.179
Cook always keeps them
in the refrigerator.
239
00:13:13.418 --> 00:13:15.978
No, we can't feed them raw meat.
It'll stimulate their blood lust.
240
00:13:16.254 --> 00:13:18.893
Listen. One of our old dogs used to
be spooked by thunderstorms.
241
00:13:19.174 --> 00:13:21.244
The vet told us
half of one of Maris' green pills
242
00:13:21.509 --> 00:13:23.420
would allow him to sleep safely
through the storm.
243
00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:26.598
- You get the meat, I'll get the pills.
- Right. Wait.
244
00:13:26.890 --> 00:13:28.243
What if Maris is out of pills?
245
00:13:28.475 --> 00:13:30.330
[LAUGHING]
246
00:13:31.686 --> 00:13:35.156
- Oh, I see.
- Thank you, Frasier, I needed that.
247
00:13:39.652 --> 00:13:44.646
Niles, that's three meatballs in a row
right in the koi pond.
248
00:13:45.283 --> 00:13:47.843
Stop trying to throw!
249
00:13:48.119 --> 00:13:52.829
Just drop them.
You can drop straight, can't you?
250
00:13:53.958 --> 00:13:56.995
- Was that a splat or a splash?
- A splat!
251
00:13:57.295 --> 00:13:59.570
Do it again.
252
00:13:59.839 --> 00:14:02.353
Excellent, they're eating it.
All right, that's enough.
253
00:14:02.676 --> 00:14:05.110
Good boys. Yeah, that's right.
Eat hardy.
254
00:14:05.845 --> 00:14:08.678
Oh, you missed one. Right over there
in the garden by the tulips.
255
00:14:09.150 --> 00:14:11.973
Oh, there's a few more there
in the koi pond, next to the...
256
00:14:12.268 --> 00:14:13.986
...sleeping koi.
257
00:14:23.822 --> 00:14:25.699
Niles.
258
00:14:25.949 --> 00:14:28.338
This painting here in the living room.
You've always had this?
259
00:14:28.618 --> 00:14:30.131
NILES: The one of Maris
and me in the garden?
260
00:14:30.370 --> 00:14:32.122
It was commissioned
on our third anniversary.
261
00:14:32.372 --> 00:14:35.250
It must be a different painting.
This is Maris next to a really big tree.
262
00:14:35.583 --> 00:14:37.938
No, there's no tree
in that painting. It's--
263
00:14:39.170 --> 00:14:41.810
Oh, my God.
264
00:14:41.339 --> 00:14:44.934
She's had me
completely painted out.
265
00:14:45.635 --> 00:14:47.990
I don't think I can take
much more of this.
266
00:14:48.304 --> 00:14:50.420
Well, in that case,
I wouldn't look too closely
267
00:14:50.682 --> 00:14:53.242
at the face of that skunk
in the flowerbed.
268
00:15:01.735 --> 00:15:03.646
Well, I suppose it's only fitting
269
00:15:03.903 --> 00:15:07.134
that I be commemorated
in this household as a laughingstock.
270
00:15:07.449 --> 00:15:09.405
She's always run
roughshod over me.
271
00:15:10.285 --> 00:15:13.994
Look around. This entire room
is a monument to my spinelessness.
272
00:15:14.372 --> 00:15:16.806
- How so?
- Well...
273
00:15:17.830 --> 00:15:18.436
This Dresden shepherdess?
274
00:15:18.668 --> 00:15:20.898
A peace offering I made to Maris
when I was foolish enough
275
00:15:21.171 --> 00:15:23.890
to point out an extra syllable
in a haiku she'd written.
276
00:15:24.174 --> 00:15:26.529
Choose another item. Anything.
277
00:15:26.801 --> 00:15:29.361
- Oh, that candelabra.
- Louis Quatorze.
278
00:15:29.637 --> 00:15:30.956
What better way to apologize
279
00:15:31.181 --> 00:15:33.615
for the time I attempted
to grow a moustache?
280
00:15:33.933 --> 00:15:37.243
I think you owe us all
a candelabra for that.
281
00:15:37.562 --> 00:15:41.770
Niles, look, it seems to be working.
The dogs are getting drowsy.
282
00:15:41.900 --> 00:15:45.813
You know, if just once Maris
had given in, in all those years,
283
00:15:46.154 --> 00:15:47.906
I might think there was hope
for our marriage.
284
00:15:48.198 --> 00:15:50.109
But she never budged an inch.
285
00:15:50.408 --> 00:15:52.558
Even on those rare occasions
when I reported back to you
286
00:15:52.827 --> 00:15:54.465
that I had prevailed--
287
00:15:54.704 --> 00:15:56.695
- I knew.
- Yeah.
288
00:15:56.956 --> 00:15:58.833
I don't know why I thought
I could convince her
289
00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:01.473
with that couples-therapy idea.
290
00:16:04.214 --> 00:16:05.806
Well...
291
00:16:06.490 --> 00:16:08.438
I'm not going to be
her whipping boy anymore.
292
00:16:08.718 --> 00:16:10.436
What are you doing?
293
00:16:10.679 --> 00:16:11.998
I'm signing the divorce papers.
294
00:16:12.472 --> 00:16:15.191
If she wants to initiate proceedings,
let's proceed.
295
00:16:15.475 --> 00:16:19.787
Niles, you know I'll support any
decision you make, but are you sure?
296
00:16:21.898 --> 00:16:23.217
Absolutely.
297
00:16:31.408 --> 00:16:32.841
That's done.
298
00:16:34.202 --> 00:16:35.476
Are you okay?
299
00:16:37.122 --> 00:16:38.680
I will be.
300
00:16:40.375 --> 00:16:42.470
Looks like the dogs are asleep.
Shall we go?
301
00:16:42.293 --> 00:16:45.285
Oh, I don't know. You know, maybe
they're just playing possum with us.
302
00:16:45.588 --> 00:16:47.624
Oh, frankly, I don't care.
303
00:16:48.910 --> 00:16:51.128
After what I've just done, you think I'm
gonna let a couple dogs frighten me?
304
00:16:51.428 --> 00:16:53.180
This is the last time
I'm leaving this house.
305
00:16:53.430 --> 00:16:55.785
I'm going to walk through that door
with my head held high.
306
00:16:56.990 --> 00:16:58.613
Good for you. I'm gonna run like hell
out the front door.
307
00:16:58.893 --> 00:17:01.880
Wait up.
308
00:17:03.273 --> 00:17:06.902
Now, the beauty of the Hot 'n' Foamy
is the ultra-quick heating action.
309
00:17:07.485 --> 00:17:11.364
You just plug it in, and two minutes
later, presto. Guess what comes out.
310
00:17:11.698 --> 00:17:14.815
Well, the obvious answer
would be shaving cream,
311
00:17:15.118 --> 00:17:16.949
so I'll go with music.
312
00:17:17.245 --> 00:17:20.396
You had a lot of sassy things
to say about my clothes steamer too.
313
00:17:20.707 --> 00:17:23.346
But didn't those snow peas
taste delicious?
314
00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:27.194
DAPHNE: Hello.
NILES: Hey.
315
00:17:27.422 --> 00:17:31.510
- Where did you two slip off to?
- Oh, I just had some papers to sign.
316
00:17:31.384 --> 00:17:32.976
- Thanks.
- Yes.
317
00:17:33.219 --> 00:17:35.779
Niles has decided
to begin divorce proceedings.
318
00:17:36.306 --> 00:17:39.935
- I'm sorry, Dr Crane.
- It's okay. I feel good about it.
319
00:17:40.310 --> 00:17:41.743
Now, we thought it might be nice
320
00:17:41.978 --> 00:17:44.333
to have a family dinner
this evening at Chez Shea,
321
00:17:44.606 --> 00:17:46.676
so we stopped by to invite
the two of you to join us.
322
00:17:46.941 --> 00:17:49.375
Oh, that would be nice.
I'll just go freshen up.
323
00:17:49.652 --> 00:17:52.410
Yeah, sounds great.
And, Niles, I'm proud of you.
324
00:17:52.322 --> 00:17:54.552
I know this isn't easy,
but in the long run,
325
00:17:54.824 --> 00:17:56.337
I know you'll be happier.
326
00:17:56.576 --> 00:17:59.727
I'm damn sure I will be.
327
00:18:00.330 --> 00:18:03.830
Well, I can't believe it.
It's really over.
328
00:18:03.416 --> 00:18:05.771
And if you choose,
you never have to see Maris again.
329
00:18:06.860 --> 00:18:07.997
Oh, please. Half the time
I couldn't see her
330
00:18:08.254 --> 00:18:10.814
when she was standing
right in front of me.
331
00:18:16.971 --> 00:18:18.848
Oh, my.
332
00:18:19.990 --> 00:18:21.932
- I can't breathe.
- Niles...
333
00:18:22.268 --> 00:18:23.462
No, really, I can't breathe.
334
00:18:23.687 --> 00:18:25.917
Frasier, I signed divorce papers.
What was I thinking?
335
00:18:26.231 --> 00:18:27.710
God, you're not having
second thoughts.
336
00:18:27.941 --> 00:18:30.171
I don't know. When I was
caught up in the adrenaline,
337
00:18:30.443 --> 00:18:32.638
it all seemed fine,
but now in the clear light of day--
338
00:18:32.946 --> 00:18:36.302
It's natural to feel a little shaky, but,
believe me, you made the right decision.
339
00:18:36.658 --> 00:18:38.171
- How do I know that?
- Let's just check
340
00:18:38.410 --> 00:18:40.719
what prompted us to it. Here.
341
00:18:40.996 --> 00:18:43.146
"Niles is incapable
of asserting himself,
342
00:18:43.456 --> 00:18:45.333
especially in front of females."
343
00:18:45.625 --> 00:18:47.581
- Keep going. This is helping.
- "As I write this,
344
00:18:47.836 --> 00:18:52.751
he lies staring out the window,
licking himself."
345
00:18:58.763 --> 00:19:00.560
What?
346
00:19:00.974 --> 00:19:03.647
"He's become so subservient lately
that when he finishes
347
00:19:03.935 --> 00:19:07.405
grooming himself,
he often begins licking Frasier."
348
00:19:11.443 --> 00:19:14.276
I have no memory of that.
349
00:19:15.530 --> 00:19:18.966
"April 14th, the day
I've dreaded for weeks.
350
00:19:19.284 --> 00:19:21.240
Frasier died this morning.
351
00:19:23.538 --> 00:19:25.768
I never would've guessed
that my heart could ache so
352
00:19:26.410 --> 00:19:27.679
over the death of my beloved
353
00:19:27.917 --> 00:19:29.794
lab rat.
354
00:19:30.450 --> 00:19:33.879
My only consolation is the knowledge
that I will soon give birth
355
00:19:34.215 --> 00:19:36.649
to my first child."
356
00:19:37.886 --> 00:19:39.956
Frasier...
357
00:19:42.766 --> 00:19:44.358
...do you know what this means?
358
00:19:44.601 --> 00:19:47.593
Our mother named us after rodents.
359
00:19:49.814 --> 00:19:53.250
No, it means I have ended
my marriage to the woman I love
360
00:19:53.568 --> 00:19:57.356
based on the case history
of a spineless rat.
361
00:19:57.739 --> 00:19:58.728
- Oh, my God.
- Niles.
362
00:19:58.948 --> 00:20:01.382
Maris has seen the papers.
It's too late to take it back.
363
00:20:01.701 --> 00:20:03.657
- Your reasoning was still sound.
- My reasoning?
364
00:20:03.953 --> 00:20:08.310
My reasoning was based on my
mother's obsession with vermin!
365
00:20:08.708 --> 00:20:11.970
- What the hell's going on?
- Niles is just a bit distraught.
366
00:20:11.378 --> 00:20:14.450
- Distraught? My life is over!
FRASIER: Niles, don't talk that way.
367
00:20:14.756 --> 00:20:16.348
My God, man,
you've got to calm down.
368
00:20:16.591 --> 00:20:17.706
All right, all right.
369
00:20:17.926 --> 00:20:19.644
I'm gonna splash
some cold water on my face.
370
00:20:19.886 --> 00:20:21.797
- Right. Right.
- Is he gonna be all right?
371
00:20:22.550 --> 00:20:24.808
- I've never seen him like this.
FRASIER: Of course he'll be all right.
372
00:20:25.100 --> 00:20:27.773
Niles, just remember
to keep breathing.
373
00:20:28.103 --> 00:20:30.492
And, trust me, this is not the end!
374
00:20:30.814 --> 00:20:32.725
Your life is not over.
375
00:20:32.982 --> 00:20:34.495
Niles.
376
00:20:34.734 --> 00:20:35.849
Niles!
377
00:20:36.690 --> 00:20:37.218
[GUNSHOT]
378
00:20:39.447 --> 00:20:41.119
Oh, my God.
379
00:20:56.506 --> 00:20:59.100
Dr Crane, are you all right?
380
00:20:59.426 --> 00:21:00.984
I'm fine.
381
00:21:02.262 --> 00:21:04.935
Just a little hot...
382
00:21:06.641 --> 00:21:08.393
...and foamy.
383
00:21:09.310 --> 00:21:13.622
You know what must have happened?
My Hot 'n' Foamy must have exploded.
384
00:21:13.982 --> 00:21:16.416
He was a detective, you know.
385
00:21:17.152 --> 00:21:18.426
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
386
00:21:23.241 --> 00:21:24.913
Excuse me.
387
00:21:25.910 --> 00:21:27.582
Hello.
388
00:21:27.829 --> 00:21:29.740
Yes, Maris.
389
00:21:30.915 --> 00:21:32.428
You are?
390
00:21:33.126 --> 00:21:34.923
You do?
391
00:21:35.253 --> 00:21:38.860
You will? That's wonderful.
392
00:21:38.423 --> 00:21:41.170
I'll be right over. Goodbye.
393
00:21:41.301 --> 00:21:43.451
The divorce papers were a bluff.
394
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:45.392
When I signed them,
it completely threw her.
395
00:21:45.638 --> 00:21:48.436
- She's willing to go into counselling.
- Niles, I'm so happy for you.
396
00:21:48.767 --> 00:21:50.883
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, Ni--
32880
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