Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,609 --> 00:00:02,609
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
2
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:05,998
Let's do something fun,
like go to Raging Waters.
3
00:00:06,023 --> 00:00:08,107
- I have a deposition today.
- (groans)
4
00:00:08,132 --> 00:00:09,406
Oh,
Nathan-ay-El.
5
00:00:09,446 --> 00:00:12,527
I'm using the exact tools
that we have all learned here,
6
00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:14,646
in group therapy with my friends,
7
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:18,066
Lana and Clarice and Bert
8
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:20,078
and Jo... illson.
9
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,621
Doesn't it feel like you're
repeating some old patterns?
10
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,539
Your patterns with Josh, perhaps?
11
00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:26,158
Are you breaking up with me right now?
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,743
I'm just saying that
we can't be together
13
00:00:27,745 --> 00:00:30,462
or go out or have sex.
14
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:31,830
Rebecca, wait, you can't just...
15
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,465
WHITE JOSH: Who are we kidding, dude?
16
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,301
- We got dumped.
- Yeah.
17
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,669
We did.
18
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,641
- What the hell are you doing?
- Can I have my cash back now?
19
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,059
I already bought a hot tub.
20
00:00:44,061 --> 00:00:46,728
You tried a lot of different
things, and we supported you
21
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,847
every time you wanted to quit something.
22
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,317
I am an aimless cynic who
has no plans for my future.
23
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,518
No, I don't live with my mom.
24
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,751
I live with my best friend.
25
00:00:54,776 --> 00:00:56,488
DARRYL: I'll find someone great
26
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:57,406
to donate an egg.
27
00:00:57,408 --> 00:00:59,691
I'd do anything for you.
You know that, right?
28
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,076
PAULA: You're donating an egg
29
00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:02,828
- to Darryl?
- I have thought this through.
30
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,024
- Have you, though?
- No, not at all.
31
00:01:08,899 --> 00:01:12,371
HEATHER: So... then I finished my
continuing education archery class,
32
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,593
and now I'm, like, a
champion-level bowman,
33
00:01:14,618 --> 00:01:18,173
but it turns out, the Ren fair
only comes, like, once a year.
34
00:01:18,198 --> 00:01:19,782
Well, continuing ed. That's fun.
35
00:01:19,853 --> 00:01:21,461
Yeah, now you can say
you're a student again.
36
00:01:21,486 --> 00:01:22,985
Yeah, but continuing ed
37
00:01:22,987 --> 00:01:24,337
doesn't really count.
38
00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:27,990
It's like... I don't know,
if I'm not a student anymore,
39
00:01:27,992 --> 00:01:29,563
then it's just, like,
40
00:01:29,961 --> 00:01:31,377
who am I?
41
00:01:31,379 --> 00:01:33,106
- (phone beeps)
- Oh! Hold on.
42
00:01:33,131 --> 00:01:34,296
- Hormone time.
- _
43
00:01:34,298 --> 00:01:36,632
- (moaning, groaning)
- Can you just...
44
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,584
go to the bathroom and do that, please?
45
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:40,002
If women can breastfeed in public,
46
00:01:40,004 --> 00:01:42,251
then I can inject myself with hormones
47
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,473
at this open-air donuteria.
48
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:45,470
I'm not ashamed of it.
49
00:01:45,495 --> 00:01:48,978
I am helping my good
friend Darryl make a baby,
50
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:51,347
and I do not care if
people think it's gross.
51
00:01:51,349 --> 00:01:53,349
I am people, and I think it's gross.
52
00:01:53,351 --> 00:01:55,901
Guys, look at all of
my subcutaneous tissue.
53
00:01:55,903 --> 00:01:58,900
I'm, like, the sub-Q queen.
Thanks, donuts.
54
00:01:58,925 --> 00:02:01,524
Well, now you're actively
ruining donuts for people.
55
00:02:01,526 --> 00:02:03,859
- Ah...
- Oh, my goodness. Ugh...
56
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:04,944
MAN: Ew!
57
00:02:04,946 --> 00:02:06,362
MAN 2: Take it to the alley, junkie!
58
00:02:06,364 --> 00:02:07,913
I'm making a miracle.
59
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:09,865
- People.
- HEATHER: Wait.
60
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,084
What did Dr. Shin say
about this whole thing?
61
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,453
- Hmm?
- I don't know, maybe just seems like
62
00:02:14,455 --> 00:02:16,672
someone in therapy for
a personality disorder
63
00:02:16,674 --> 00:02:20,040
may not want to take tons of hormones?
64
00:02:21,938 --> 00:02:23,796
He said it was fine.
65
00:02:23,798 --> 00:02:24,930
- Really?
- Yeah.
66
00:02:24,932 --> 00:02:26,960
As long as I'm present and aware,
67
00:02:26,985 --> 00:02:30,476
and I monitor my mental
state, it's all good.
68
00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:31,854
And if I feel stuff start to come up,
69
00:02:31,856 --> 00:02:34,056
I can just use the acronyms
that I've learned in group.
70
00:02:34,058 --> 00:02:35,618
Like, ooh, there's SASSY.
71
00:02:35,643 --> 00:02:40,863
It's "Separate, Assess,
Step Away, Soothe Yourself."
72
00:02:40,865 --> 00:02:42,064
(Paula gasps)
73
00:02:42,066 --> 00:02:43,353
Oh, that's catchy.
74
00:02:43,378 --> 00:02:45,901
Also, you know how Robert
Downey Jr. kind of went through
75
00:02:45,903 --> 00:02:47,570
that spiral, and he
broke into someone's house
76
00:02:47,572 --> 00:02:48,737
and slept in a child's bed?
77
00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:50,739
But then, he had that
guest star in Ally McBeal,
78
00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:51,957
and now he's Iron Man?
79
00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:52,958
That's me.
80
00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:55,411
Someone translate, please?
81
00:02:55,413 --> 00:02:56,712
Oh, she's going back to work.
82
00:02:56,714 --> 00:02:57,746
That's what I meant.
I'm going back to work!
83
00:02:57,748 --> 00:03:00,466
Wow, you got your job
back from Nathaniel?
84
00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:01,500
I mean, that resignation didn't count.
85
00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:02,635
And he knew that I would feel like
86
00:03:02,637 --> 00:03:04,299
coming back to work at some point.
87
00:03:04,324 --> 00:03:06,839
Yeah, are you sure he
wants to work with you,
88
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:08,090
since you dumped him?
89
00:03:08,092 --> 00:03:09,558
Oh, no, I didn't dump him.
90
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,479
I just put us on an
indefinite permanent break.
91
00:03:19,171 --> 00:03:22,447
HEATHER: I don't know what
my identity is right now.
92
00:03:22,472 --> 00:03:25,658
Should I say I am a bartender?
93
00:03:26,057 --> 00:03:28,134
A lover of cheese?
94
00:03:28,279 --> 00:03:29,945
A chewer of gum?
95
00:03:29,947 --> 00:03:35,034
Like, I'm all of those
things, but none define me.
96
00:03:35,036 --> 00:03:36,669
Honey, that's all very interesting,
97
00:03:36,671 --> 00:03:39,955
but this is a podcast
about relationships.
98
00:03:40,249 --> 00:03:43,019
We want to know about your relationship.
99
00:03:43,044 --> 00:03:45,294
Yeah, well, it's just awkward,
100
00:03:45,296 --> 00:03:47,513
because Hector's sitting right there,
101
00:03:47,515 --> 00:03:49,398
and he's your son, so...
102
00:03:49,717 --> 00:03:51,016
Oh, it's okay.
103
00:03:51,018 --> 00:03:53,405
Whatever you want to say
to me, you can say to me,
104
00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:57,547
my mom and our 334 subscribers
105
00:03:57,572 --> 00:03:59,775
to Dating For All Ages,
which is brought to you
106
00:03:59,777 --> 00:04:02,194
by Merv's Diner, on
4th and East Cameron.
107
00:04:02,196 --> 00:04:05,202
Mention the podcast, and you
get a free ham and cheese.
108
00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:07,316
I guess what I would like to know
109
00:04:07,318 --> 00:04:08,817
is where do you two stand?
110
00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:10,750
How serious are you?
111
00:04:11,372 --> 00:04:15,574
Well, I really like Hector, and...
112
00:04:15,576 --> 00:04:17,326
our names definitely go well together.
113
00:04:17,328 --> 00:04:18,961
Our couple name is "Heactor,"
114
00:04:18,963 --> 00:04:21,284
like "Hector," but with an extra A.
115
00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:24,717
But I can't really make any decisions
116
00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:29,034
about our relationship
until I sort out who I am.
117
00:04:29,363 --> 00:04:31,840
Heather, I just want to take our
relationship to the next level,
118
00:04:31,842 --> 00:04:33,870
become more officially a couple.
119
00:04:33,895 --> 00:04:37,346
Well, another challenge is that
you live here with your mom,
120
00:04:37,348 --> 00:04:39,932
who's your best friend,
so there's also that...
121
00:04:40,507 --> 00:04:43,269
(crunching)
122
00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:47,823
Oh. Sorry.
123
00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:49,191
Dude, we're recording.
124
00:04:49,193 --> 00:04:50,359
When I said you could stay here,
125
00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:52,828
I said we needed it quiet
during pod-casting hours.
126
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:54,330
Yeah, totally. I just...
127
00:04:54,332 --> 00:04:56,949
I-I just want to get the
tasty scragglers at the bottom.
128
00:04:56,951 --> 00:04:58,834
Um, but... you guys keep going.
129
00:04:58,836 --> 00:05:00,119
I-I'm loving this.
130
00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:02,004
I-I'll just scrag more quietly.
131
00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:03,255
(chuckles)
132
00:05:03,257 --> 00:05:05,457
(crunching)
133
00:05:07,795 --> 00:05:09,011
Oh, yeah, no, no.
134
00:05:09,013 --> 00:05:10,963
This is just gonna be too loud.
135
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:14,767
I'll-I'll just put them away.
136
00:05:14,769 --> 00:05:16,135
Do you have a chip clip?
137
00:05:16,137 --> 00:05:17,769
No?
138
00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:24,109
Hi. There you are. Uh...
139
00:05:24,111 --> 00:05:25,778
Of all the law firms in all the towns,
140
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:27,386
I had to walk into this one.
141
00:05:27,878 --> 00:05:29,152
What are you doing here?
142
00:05:29,207 --> 00:05:33,232
Um, I am here to tell you
that I have amazing news.
143
00:05:34,569 --> 00:05:36,285
You're leaving town again?
144
00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:40,626
No. I'm ready to come back to work.
145
00:05:41,386 --> 00:05:43,078
- Where?
- Here.
146
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,747
- How?
- What?
147
00:05:44,749 --> 00:05:46,548
You don't work here anymore, Rebecca.
148
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:48,050
You resigned, remember?
149
00:05:48,052 --> 00:05:49,385
What... no, I didn't resign.
150
00:05:49,387 --> 00:05:51,920
My mother resigned for me
while she was drugging me,
151
00:05:51,922 --> 00:05:53,222
so that's not legal.
152
00:05:53,224 --> 00:05:54,506
Oh, I see your point.
153
00:05:54,508 --> 00:05:55,611
- Yes.
- You didn't resign.
154
00:05:55,636 --> 00:05:56,508
No.
155
00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:57,676
- You still work here.
- Yes.
156
00:05:58,154 --> 00:05:59,706
And now, you're fired.
157
00:06:06,637 --> 00:06:08,353
Oh, hey, boss.
158
00:06:10,441 --> 00:06:11,824
Kevin, can I...
159
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:13,105
help you with something?
160
00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:15,027
Oh, I just wanted to, uh...
161
00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:17,613
I have a good reason for
asking this, I swear...
162
00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:19,748
Uh, if someone asked...
163
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:23,839
Not me, but someone...
What would you say you are?
164
00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:27,089
(inhales) S... what?
165
00:06:27,091 --> 00:06:29,508
Well, you know, like,
uh, where are you from?
166
00:06:29,510 --> 00:06:32,711
Oh, um, I was born in Arizona,
167
00:06:32,713 --> 00:06:35,514
and then my dad, his job transferred
168
00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:36,965
- from there to here...
- Yeah... I-I'm sorry.
169
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:39,151
I-I meant, where are your parents from?
170
00:06:39,557 --> 00:06:42,888
Yeah, um, well, my mom is from Michigan,
171
00:06:42,890 --> 00:06:45,107
and my dad is from Michigan.
172
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,609
They met at University of Michigan.
173
00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:49,361
So, crazy story, huh?
174
00:06:49,363 --> 00:06:50,979
(nervous chuckle)
175
00:06:52,502 --> 00:06:55,544
Kevin, are you trying to ask
me what my ethnic background is?
176
00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:56,785
- No.
- No?
177
00:06:56,787 --> 00:06:57,903
I mean, yes.
178
00:06:57,905 --> 00:06:59,988
Yeah. I-I mean, not because
179
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,957
I-I care about what you are,
180
00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:03,792
I mean, you can be anything you want.
181
00:07:03,794 --> 00:07:05,160
Oh... Oh, thank you.
182
00:07:05,162 --> 00:07:06,912
I mean, you're obviously something!
183
00:07:06,914 --> 00:07:09,164
(laughs) Uh, I mean, we...
184
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:11,500
we have never talked about...
185
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:14,670
I mean, I've wondered...
Though, for no reason.
186
00:07:14,672 --> 00:07:16,171
Oh, God,
187
00:07:16,173 --> 00:07:18,006
this is a disaster, isn't it?
188
00:07:18,008 --> 00:07:19,842
And I'm so hot.
189
00:07:19,844 --> 00:07:21,009
(grunts)
190
00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:22,177
Okay, well...
191
00:07:22,179 --> 00:07:23,312
Oh!
192
00:07:23,314 --> 00:07:24,980
You took it off.
193
00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:26,982
Oh. The point is,
194
00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:31,270
it doesn't matter what race
you are, you are my equal.
195
00:07:31,272 --> 00:07:32,604
- (panting)
- Oh, okay.
196
00:07:32,606 --> 00:07:35,524
Kevin, did you, um,
did you have a point,
197
00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:37,659
- or is this just for fun?
- Yes!
198
00:07:37,661 --> 00:07:38,901
Yes.
199
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,831
There's a training program
200
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:44,750
at Home Base corporate,
201
00:07:44,752 --> 00:07:48,862
and they are encouraging
people who are...
202
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:51,799
who are...
203
00:07:53,594 --> 00:07:55,627
(breathless): S-Say it...
204
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:57,880
Dear God in Heaven, please.
205
00:07:57,882 --> 00:07:59,181
Diverse?
206
00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:02,050
(panting): Yes. Yes.
207
00:08:02,052 --> 00:08:03,526
Oh...
208
00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:06,472
Kevin, all you had to say was, like,
209
00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:09,057
"Hey, there's a corporate
management training program,
210
00:08:09,059 --> 00:08:10,559
here's a form."
211
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,448
Right. Here's a form.
212
00:08:12,863 --> 00:08:14,784
REBECCA: Wait. I'm fired?
213
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,532
Um, are... are you angry at me
214
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:17,733
because of what happened between us?
215
00:08:17,735 --> 00:08:19,034
Because I told you,
216
00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:21,370
that had nothing to do with
you, that-that was all me.
217
00:08:21,372 --> 00:08:22,905
Oh, really? You're gonna hit me with
218
00:08:22,907 --> 00:08:24,156
the "it's not you, it's me"?
219
00:08:24,158 --> 00:08:25,657
Next thing I know, you're gonna hit me
220
00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:27,409
with the "I was going through a thing."
221
00:08:27,411 --> 00:08:30,078
I... was going through a thing.
222
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,080
I'm... still going through a thing,
223
00:08:32,082 --> 00:08:33,549
I'm trying to get healthy in my life.
224
00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:34,633
Oh, "get healthy"?
225
00:08:34,635 --> 00:08:37,219
Really, Miss Personal Pan Pizza? Okay.
226
00:08:37,221 --> 00:08:39,588
- Good luck with that.
- Wow.
227
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:40,672
So you're just gonna be
228
00:08:40,674 --> 00:08:42,090
a petulant little child
about this? Really?
229
00:08:42,092 --> 00:08:43,926
I am not being a child, okay?
230
00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,060
Now get out of my room.
231
00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:46,144
I mean, my office.
232
00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:47,346
Get out of my-my office.
233
00:08:48,053 --> 00:08:49,064
What is wrong with you?
234
00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:51,266
Why are you sweating like
Mickey Rourke after a meal
235
00:08:51,268 --> 00:08:53,569
- at Fogo de Chao?
- Nothing. Okay? I'm fine. (moans)
236
00:08:53,571 --> 00:08:55,020
SASSY. SASSY.
237
00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:56,688
"Sassy"? What are you
talking... I don't even know
238
00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,440
what you're talking about.
Just get out of my office.
239
00:08:58,442 --> 00:09:00,108
Okay, fine, it's too
hot in here, anyway.
240
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,493
Good!
241
00:09:01,495 --> 00:09:03,362
Fine, I'm sweaty?
242
00:09:03,364 --> 00:09:04,947
I'll show you how sweaty I am.
243
00:09:04,949 --> 00:09:07,616
Okay, real professional.
244
00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:09,918
That was disgusting!
245
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,286
I'm not a child!
246
00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:12,955
I'm not a... where's my ball?
247
00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,176
(exhales)
248
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:20,178
What happened in there? Are you okay?
249
00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:21,463
(panting): Yeah. I'm fine.
250
00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:22,798
(sniffles) I just think
251
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,967
the, uh, I think it's just
the hormones kicking in.
252
00:09:24,969 --> 00:09:27,853
And also, Nathaniel was
really horrible to me in there.
253
00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:28,971
Uh, he fired me.
254
00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:31,139
Yeah, and, like, in a really mean way.
255
00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:34,049
He insulted my... personal
pan pizzas... anyway,
256
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,777
uh, I don't have to tell
you guys this, though.
257
00:09:35,779 --> 00:09:37,446
You know what a monster he can be.
258
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:38,564
Actually, he's been okay lately.
259
00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:39,815
MAYA: Yeah. Yesterday,
260
00:09:39,817 --> 00:09:41,283
he patted me on the head, although,
261
00:09:41,285 --> 00:09:43,318
he might've been trying to stand up.
262
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,821
He's been taking your
bust-up pretty well, actually.
263
00:09:45,823 --> 00:09:48,312
Clearly not. He's clearly
devastated and lashing out.
264
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,000
Mm, I don't know if
he's that devastated.
265
00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:52,961
He's got this new gal pal.
266
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:54,796
Darryl. That was an office secret.
267
00:09:54,798 --> 00:09:56,999
It was on the group
text chain called, "Shh!"
268
00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:58,467
Hold up. New gal pal?
269
00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:01,303
Yeah, this new girlfriend
is all over his Instagram.
270
00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:02,961
He is flaunting her everywhere.
271
00:10:02,986 --> 00:10:04,306
He's even tagging her in photos
272
00:10:04,308 --> 00:10:06,391
that she's not in: sunsets,
273
00:10:06,393 --> 00:10:07,342
rescue dogs,
274
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,677
farmers' market.
275
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:09,645
Can someone give me their phone?
276
00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:10,679
Honey, no, no, no.
277
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,680
That's not a good idea.
278
00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:12,848
You're off social media, remember?
279
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,807
REBECCA: It's fine. Okay.
280
00:10:15,185 --> 00:10:16,401
I'm s... I'm sorry, Tim,
281
00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:18,737
why is your phone background
a picture of Shania Twain?
282
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:21,323
She's beautiful, she is from Canada
283
00:10:21,325 --> 00:10:24,370
and she raised her brothers
and sisters all on her own.
284
00:10:24,395 --> 00:10:26,662
- That doesn't impress me much.
- REBECCA: Okay.
285
00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:28,330
Ha... oh, there she is.
286
00:10:28,332 --> 00:10:29,831
Okay, well...
287
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:31,533
You know what? She's beautiful.
288
00:10:31,535 --> 00:10:34,838
She also went to Stanford.
289
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:36,747
And she works in a mutual fund.
290
00:10:36,874 --> 00:10:38,292
She's perfect for him.
291
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:41,710
There. See? I'm fine.
292
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:44,627
(gasps) No.
293
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:47,516
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be.
294
00:10:47,518 --> 00:10:49,718
Did he take her home to meet his family?
295
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,053
Did he propose?
296
00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:52,723
Way worse.
297
00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:54,996
The worsest.
298
00:10:57,061 --> 00:10:58,727
REBECCA: He took her to Raging Waters!
299
00:11:00,564 --> 00:11:02,230
That's her Paris.
300
00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:04,316
- (gasps)
- REBECCA: No.
301
00:11:04,318 --> 00:11:06,864
I mean, he can't be
allowed to do this to me...
302
00:11:07,237 --> 00:11:08,737
you, all of us.
303
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:10,038
I mean, guys,
304
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,406
have you forgotten what he was like
305
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:12,928
the first week he came here?
306
00:11:12,953 --> 00:11:14,743
He instantly wanted to fire all of you.
307
00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:17,746
And, Darryl, um, hello...
He stole your firm.
308
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:20,298
He scooped up your
ex-wife Stacey's shares
309
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,383
behind your back.
310
00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:22,751
Oh, that's true.
311
00:11:22,753 --> 00:11:24,386
REBECCA: Oh, no, no, no, no.
312
00:11:24,757 --> 00:11:27,889
He cannot do this. I say we fight back,
313
00:11:27,891 --> 00:11:29,675
and we take this firm back.
314
00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:30,592
(all groaning)
315
00:11:30,594 --> 00:11:32,644
That sounds a little aggressive
316
00:11:32,646 --> 00:11:33,895
I don't know how I feel about that.
317
00:11:33,897 --> 00:11:35,097
Maybe we could just write him a letter.
318
00:11:35,099 --> 00:11:36,515
Oh, guys, guys!
319
00:11:36,517 --> 00:11:37,849
- What?
- Huh?
320
00:11:37,851 --> 00:11:40,652
Have you forgotten the
kind of person he really is?
321
00:11:40,654 --> 00:11:43,413
♪ ♪
322
00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:52,330
♪ He's the new guy,
you can't trust him ♪
323
00:11:52,332 --> 00:11:56,201
♪ He's a bad guy
even when he's nice ♪
324
00:11:56,203 --> 00:11:59,788
♪ Just because you've seen him
show an ounce of vulnerability ♪
325
00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:03,125
♪ Do you think that means he
has some secret heart of gold? ♪
326
00:12:03,127 --> 00:12:05,293
♪ Sure, there was that one scene ♪
327
00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:07,345
♪ Where he pooped his
pants in front of you ♪
328
00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:09,631
♪ And by scene I
mean he made a scene ♪
329
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:11,600
♪ Well, I for one ain't sold ♪
330
00:12:11,602 --> 00:12:13,185
♪ He's the new guy ♪
331
00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:15,137
♪ Not easily reformed by ♪
332
00:12:15,139 --> 00:12:18,890
♪ Some quirky girl
that he met at work ♪
333
00:12:18,892 --> 00:12:22,778
♪ Just because now that he
became a season regular ♪
334
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,896
♪ And by season regular I mean ♪
335
00:12:24,898 --> 00:12:26,114
♪ He eats bran in the spring ♪
336
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:27,482
♪ Doesn't mean the show ♪
337
00:12:27,484 --> 00:12:29,985
♪ Is now called Rich
and Pompous Lawyer ♪
338
00:12:29,987 --> 00:12:32,320
♪ And by show I mean
his favorite show ♪
339
00:12:32,322 --> 00:12:34,489
- ♪ Which, by the way, is Wings? ♪
- What?
340
00:12:34,491 --> 00:12:38,043
♪ Screw the new guy,
well, I did that ♪
341
00:12:38,045 --> 00:12:41,997
♪ And that's how I know that
he hasn't changed a bit ♪
342
00:12:41,999 --> 00:12:43,915
♪ He's an evil sociopath ♪
343
00:12:43,917 --> 00:12:46,030
♪ Who's tricked you
into liking him ♪
344
00:12:46,055 --> 00:12:49,221
♪ Why else do you think that
I'm singing this reprise? ♪
345
00:12:49,223 --> 00:12:50,639
♪ And by singing this reprise ♪
346
00:12:50,641 --> 00:12:53,592
♪ I mean whatever, just
don't think about it ♪
347
00:12:53,594 --> 00:12:55,393
♪ Let's sue the new guy ♪
348
00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:57,145
♪ Hubbub, hubbub, hubbub, hubbub ♪
349
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:59,014
ALL: ♪ Hubbub, hubbub,
hubbub, hubbub ♪
350
00:12:59,016 --> 00:13:01,683
♪ Hubbub, hubbub, hubbub, hubbub ♪
351
00:13:01,685 --> 00:13:03,185
Hey, what's a "reprise"?
352
00:13:03,187 --> 00:13:04,269
♪ Darryl, shut up. ♪
353
00:13:04,271 --> 00:13:06,362
♪ ♪
354
00:13:06,387 --> 00:13:08,857
Anyway, so who's with me?
355
00:13:09,729 --> 00:13:12,277
ALL (half-heartedly): Yay... I am...
356
00:13:12,302 --> 00:13:13,690
So it's on!
357
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:21,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
358
00:13:24,628 --> 00:13:27,409
Chocolate, meet Honey.
Honey, meet Chocolate.
359
00:13:27,434 --> 00:13:29,209
(gruff voice): Hello,
Honey, nice to meet you.
360
00:13:29,211 --> 00:13:30,544
(high, feminine voice):
Oh, hello, Chocolate.
361
00:13:30,546 --> 00:13:32,276
Ooh, do you want to make
love in Rebecca's mouth?
362
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:33,450
Yeah!
363
00:13:33,971 --> 00:13:36,823
Mmm. Hungry hormone feast.
364
00:13:36,848 --> 00:13:38,737
Hey, Hector, have you heard
about the cool thing I'm doing?
365
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,362
I'm taking my firm back.
366
00:13:40,795 --> 00:13:43,096
Nathaniel hoodwinked and
bamboozled Darryl to get it,
367
00:13:43,098 --> 00:13:45,314
and now I'm gonna
hornswoggle him right back.
368
00:13:45,316 --> 00:13:47,517
- She talks like an old lady.
- Mm-hmm.
369
00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:49,519
I prefer '40s detective, but thank you.
370
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,437
Wait, how are you gonna
take back the firm?
371
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,772
That's what I'm trying to suss out now,
372
00:13:52,774 --> 00:13:54,073
my bird-boned friend.
373
00:13:54,075 --> 00:13:56,409
I have to find some
way to undermine him.
374
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,077
Oh, you know what you could do...
375
00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,362
Try the dark Internet.
376
00:13:59,364 --> 00:14:01,781
People do all kinds of
creepy stuff on there.
377
00:14:01,783 --> 00:14:03,583
My friend met someone on the dark web
378
00:14:03,846 --> 00:14:07,370
that made her stepdad disappear.
379
00:14:07,372 --> 00:14:08,871
I don't know about that, Hector.
380
00:14:08,873 --> 00:14:10,339
I mean, that seems a little bit extreme.
381
00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:11,674
Ah! Damn it!
382
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,042
Oh, man...
383
00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:14,223
Ahh.
384
00:14:14,879 --> 00:14:16,379
Hey, Heather, wait, what are you doing
385
00:14:16,381 --> 00:14:17,885
dressed all Good Wife?
386
00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,516
I mean, usually you have your
entire midriff hanging out.
387
00:14:20,518 --> 00:14:22,051
Like, we get it, you're skinny.
388
00:14:22,053 --> 00:14:23,936
I'm sorry. Um, that was rude.
389
00:14:23,938 --> 00:14:25,207
I'm very hormonal.
390
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,723
Well, I applied for that Home Base
391
00:14:27,725 --> 00:14:29,308
management training program.
392
00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:30,526
I don't know, I'm a little worried
393
00:14:30,528 --> 00:14:31,561
it's gonna be too uptight for me.
394
00:14:31,563 --> 00:14:33,396
Their dress code is so conservative.
395
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:36,232
It's like, no tattoos, no
body drawing, no hair dye.
396
00:14:36,234 --> 00:14:37,490
It's, like, my whole look.
397
00:14:37,819 --> 00:14:40,203
I guess I'll just have to
express my colorful personality
398
00:14:40,205 --> 00:14:41,959
with my animated vocal inflections.
399
00:14:42,157 --> 00:14:44,040
Ah! I found it! Sorry.
400
00:14:44,042 --> 00:14:45,408
I found the loophole.
401
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:46,576
I know how to get the firm back.
402
00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:49,045
I gotta go... assemble the team.
403
00:14:49,047 --> 00:14:50,377
Congratulations.
404
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,251
MAN: Well, trainees, on behalf of
405
00:14:55,253 --> 00:14:58,470
Home Base Industries and
Three Strikes You're In, LLC,
406
00:14:58,556 --> 00:15:00,931
welcome to the orientation
407
00:15:00,956 --> 00:15:02,592
for the management training program.
408
00:15:02,594 --> 00:15:04,727
You guys have been
selected from Home Bases
409
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:05,978
across the land...
410
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:08,097
By "across the land" I mean the northern
411
00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:09,890
southwestern region of California...
412
00:15:09,915 --> 00:15:12,318
To begin your new careers.
413
00:15:12,681 --> 00:15:14,384
Congratulations, folks.
414
00:15:14,906 --> 00:15:17,273
You've gotten to first base. (chuckles)
415
00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:19,609
- (forced chuckles)
- That's so Du...
416
00:15:19,611 --> 00:15:20,693
Okay, so,
417
00:15:20,695 --> 00:15:22,195
any questions at all?
418
00:15:22,197 --> 00:15:24,280
Uh, yeah, I have a few.
419
00:15:24,282 --> 00:15:25,581
- Mm-hmm.
- First,
420
00:15:25,583 --> 00:15:27,333
are there going to be
constant baseball puns?
421
00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:28,751
Because that's strike one.
422
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,703
Get it? Be... Um...
423
00:15:30,705 --> 00:15:32,726
Also, we're supposed to wear pantyhose,
424
00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:34,624
but pantyhose are actually not sanitary.
425
00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:36,898
They trap all the juices.
426
00:15:37,295 --> 00:15:38,961
Like, scientifically.
427
00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,463
You know.
428
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:46,385
Oh, yep, this is super
uptight. (clears throat)
429
00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:48,837
I know how we can obliterate Nathaniel.
430
00:15:49,057 --> 00:15:51,023
I mean, take the firm back.
431
00:15:51,025 --> 00:15:53,359
So, here's what happened. When Nathaniel
432
00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:54,977
bought Stacey's shares,
433
00:15:54,979 --> 00:15:56,646
the transaction was not executed
434
00:15:56,648 --> 00:15:59,115
in the correct county, because
Stacey lives in Orange County.
435
00:15:59,117 --> 00:16:00,233
Of course she does.
436
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:02,318
So the transfer of the shares needed
437
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,654
to be notarized in
the local jurisdiction.
438
00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:06,539
(yawning): This is boring.
What are you saying?
439
00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:08,124
(exhales) I'm saying
440
00:16:08,126 --> 00:16:10,159
that if we can get those shares voided,
441
00:16:10,161 --> 00:16:12,995
buy them back, we will
control 60% of the firm,
442
00:16:12,997 --> 00:16:15,831
making us all the controlling entity.
443
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:17,967
(snaps fingers) Any questions?
444
00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:20,169
Yeah, I have one. Instead
of doing all of this,
445
00:16:20,171 --> 00:16:22,004
why don't you just get
a job somewhere else?
446
00:16:22,006 --> 00:16:23,306
You could go anywhere.
447
00:16:23,308 --> 00:16:25,057
Yeah, you could probably
take all of us with you, too.
448
00:16:25,059 --> 00:16:27,343
- Might be fun.
- I personally would like to work
449
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:29,395
at a firm where I could
be outside all day.
450
00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:30,980
You know, like Google or SpaceX.
451
00:16:30,982 --> 00:16:32,398
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. This is...
452
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,850
this is not about having a job
453
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:37,687
or getting health
insurance or being happier
454
00:16:37,689 --> 00:16:39,787
or being in fresh air. No, no, no.
455
00:16:39,812 --> 00:16:43,409
This is about justice for all of us.
456
00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:45,695
It's about... it's
about good versus evil.
457
00:16:45,697 --> 00:16:47,697
You guys know that. Come on.
458
00:16:47,699 --> 00:16:48,864
Head back in the game.
459
00:16:48,866 --> 00:16:50,950
I am going to get Stacey
to file with the court
460
00:16:50,952 --> 00:16:53,119
to get us a hearing to void
the transfer of the shares.
461
00:16:53,121 --> 00:16:54,670
Mm, how are you gonna do that?
462
00:16:54,672 --> 00:16:57,873
My ex-wife can be one tough nut.
463
00:16:58,358 --> 00:16:59,842
REBECCA: This is nice, but...
464
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,128
this was really $10,000?
465
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,379
Sure was.
466
00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:05,097
Wait until you feel these jets.
467
00:17:05,545 --> 00:17:07,550
- Oh!
- Right?
468
00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:10,303
- Mmm.
- (whoops)
469
00:17:10,305 --> 00:17:13,889
(chuckles): Wow, I would really
love five minutes alone in here
470
00:17:13,891 --> 00:17:15,775
with my phone browser set to private.
471
00:17:15,777 --> 00:17:19,195
Sorry. I'm, uh... very horny right now.
472
00:17:19,197 --> 00:17:20,896
- My body's making an egg.
- Oh.
473
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:23,115
That's right, you're making
a baby with my ex-husband.
474
00:17:23,117 --> 00:17:24,734
That's kind of weird.
475
00:17:24,736 --> 00:17:28,371
Yeah, so my sex drive is
just... it's off the charts.
476
00:17:28,664 --> 00:17:30,873
Okay, what is it that you want?
477
00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:33,492
I mean, you invited yourself over here.
478
00:17:33,494 --> 00:17:36,329
You showed up with a bottle
of wine and your bathing suit,
479
00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:37,747
said you had an offer I couldn't refuse,
480
00:17:37,749 --> 00:17:40,499
and now you're talking about
your sex drive? (chuckles)
481
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:42,251
I'm not bi. Sorry.
482
00:17:42,253 --> 00:17:44,197
- Darryl's the bi one.
- Hey, you know what?
483
00:17:44,222 --> 00:17:45,221
I'm not bi, either.
484
00:17:45,223 --> 00:17:47,089
I mean, I have certain bi tendencies.
485
00:17:47,091 --> 00:17:49,058
Mm-hmm. Honestly, Kinsey
scale, I'm probably a 1.8.
486
00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:50,760
But anyway, Stacey,
this is about business.
487
00:17:50,762 --> 00:17:52,762
So, all right, those shares
488
00:17:52,764 --> 00:17:54,480
in the Whitefeather firm
that you sold to Nathaniel...
489
00:17:54,946 --> 00:17:56,399
Which, by the way, I mean,
490
00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:58,601
was just not the nicest
thing to do to Darryl.
491
00:17:58,603 --> 00:18:01,070
(scoffs) I'm an incredibly nice person.
492
00:18:01,072 --> 00:18:02,238
(baby crying)
493
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,408
Would you turn that baby off?!
494
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,777
- (baby whimpers)
- I'm sorry, just, ugh, these neighbors.
495
00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,198
Am I right?
496
00:18:09,223 --> 00:18:10,780
Look, I got those Whitefeather shares
497
00:18:10,782 --> 00:18:12,164
fair and square in my divorce.
498
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,582
- So...
- Okay, you did,
499
00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:15,368
but when you sold them to Nathaniel,
500
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:16,702
you put that firm in the hands
501
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,622
of someone who is
systematically exploiting people
502
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:21,123
and taking some other people
503
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:22,591
to water parks for no apparent reason.
504
00:18:22,593 --> 00:18:23,676
Wait, what?
505
00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:25,094
Nothing. Okay, Stacey,
506
00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:27,430
what if I told you that
I could void that sale
507
00:18:27,432 --> 00:18:28,547
and then buy those shares back?
508
00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:30,182
- (baby cries)
- I heard that,
509
00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:32,351
- you stupid baby!
- Okay, I want to...
510
00:18:32,353 --> 00:18:32,913
(crying continues)
511
00:18:32,938 --> 00:18:34,677
I want to take that
evil Nathaniel to court
512
00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:37,940
and void the sale and then
get the shares back, so, huh?
513
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,475
And why would I do that?
514
00:18:39,477 --> 00:18:41,777
Come on, Stacey, there
must be something you want.
515
00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:43,446
Shut up, baby!
516
00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:45,614
Just shut it down!
517
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,287
(sighs) Your Honor, we are here today
518
00:18:51,289 --> 00:18:52,988
to establish that Mr. Plimpton
519
00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:55,074
acquired the shares of
the Whitefeather firm
520
00:18:55,309 --> 00:18:58,341
- through fraudulent manipulation and...
- (knocking at door)
521
00:19:01,082 --> 00:19:02,381
You're suing me?
522
00:19:02,685 --> 00:19:05,084
Are you out of your mind?
523
00:19:05,086 --> 00:19:07,959
♪ Crazy is when I go off the rails ♪
524
00:19:07,984 --> 00:19:11,402
♪ This is what you've done to me. ♪
525
00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:15,201
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
526
00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:20,068
Excuse me, you cannot
just barge in my house.
527
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,060
And you know what? You don't
have any right to be mad at me.
528
00:19:22,062 --> 00:19:23,311
I'm the good guy here. Yeah, I'm the one
529
00:19:23,313 --> 00:19:24,896
looking out for the-the
people of Whitfeather.
530
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,815
Just tell me, how did
you convince Stacey
531
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,149
to contest the sale of the shares?
532
00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:30,201
I volunteered to represent her for free
533
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,654
in her noise complaint lawsuit
against the baby next door.
534
00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:33,939
Not the parents. The baby.
535
00:19:33,941 --> 00:19:35,740
She was very specific about that.
536
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,609
Stacey's not a nice person, actually.
537
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:38,753
I know what this is.
538
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,839
You're trying to get back
at me for not rehiring you
539
00:19:40,864 --> 00:19:42,163
and for the Raging Waters...
540
00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:44,643
Oh! Oh, so you admit it.
541
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,534
Raging Waters was just
542
00:19:46,536 --> 00:19:48,203
to rub your new relationship in my face.
543
00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:49,921
Oh, my God. It's so
transparent. (chuckles)
544
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,745
Look, it's not my fault
that you can't get over me.
545
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,175
Oh. (scoffs) I am over you.
546
00:19:54,177 --> 00:19:56,378
I am totally over you.
547
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:58,380
- Mm-hmm. Sure. Uh-huh.
- Yeah. I am dating someone
548
00:19:58,382 --> 00:20:01,766
who's funny, intelligent, not crazy.
549
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:02,717
- "Not crazy"?
- Yeah.
550
00:20:02,719 --> 00:20:04,970
- Oh, oh, oh, nice word. Screw you.
- Screw you.
551
00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:06,471
- Screw you.
- Screw you.
552
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,853
I don't think about you at all anymore.
553
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,891
- I don't think about you, either.
- I never think about you
554
00:20:09,893 --> 00:20:11,943
when I'm home alone in bed
under the covers, warm at night.
555
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:13,445
I don't think about you
when I'm in a hot tub
556
00:20:13,447 --> 00:20:15,063
- with high-powered jets.
- What?
557
00:20:15,065 --> 00:20:16,398
Nothing. So, we agree.
558
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,366
This conflict is just about
the legalities of the case.
559
00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:19,901
Yeah, we agree.
560
00:20:20,126 --> 00:20:21,736
- Fine, I'll see you in court!
- Oh, yeah.
561
00:20:21,738 --> 00:20:25,240
- I'll see you in court.
- Aah, wear a suit! What?
562
00:20:25,242 --> 00:20:27,626
(sighs, panting)
563
00:20:27,628 --> 00:20:29,577
Heather, just don't disturb me!
564
00:20:29,579 --> 00:20:31,579
I'll be in my room for
eight to ten minutes!
565
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,548
Oh, right, she's at work.
566
00:20:33,550 --> 00:20:35,289
I'm gonna borrow her vibrator.
567
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,785
Heather, we need to talk.
568
00:20:47,196 --> 00:20:48,847
Oh, what, I'm fired
569
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:51,099
because Linda saw my butt piercing?
570
00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,935
That thing is really hard
to get out. You try it.
571
00:20:53,937 --> 00:20:55,103
No, not that.
572
00:20:55,105 --> 00:20:56,938
No, I have great news.
573
00:20:56,940 --> 00:21:00,645
Your idea to add dessert
tapas to the menu,
574
00:21:01,598 --> 00:21:04,114
I pitched it to menu technologies
575
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:07,225
and they came back with
a good deal of enthusiasm.
576
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:08,616
Oh, yeah.
577
00:21:08,618 --> 00:21:11,119
They are gonna run it up
the ladder, circle back
578
00:21:11,121 --> 00:21:13,788
and send it down the chain. (laughs)
579
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:16,877
Is that, like, corporate talk
for saying I had a good idea?
580
00:21:16,902 --> 00:21:19,400
Uh, yeah. A good idea.
581
00:21:19,596 --> 00:21:20,572
Cool.
582
00:21:20,597 --> 00:21:22,464
Um, I have another one.
583
00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:25,967
We should institute a rideshare
service at all locations
584
00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:27,802
because we're basically
putting drunk parents
585
00:21:27,804 --> 00:21:28,970
into cars with their children.
586
00:21:28,972 --> 00:21:32,428
My God, you are a visionary. Yeah.
587
00:21:32,453 --> 00:21:35,553
Yeah. I also don't want kids to die,
588
00:21:35,578 --> 00:21:37,694
but, uh, yeah.
589
00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:40,115
Okay, guys.
590
00:21:40,117 --> 00:21:41,483
I got this.
591
00:21:41,485 --> 00:21:42,734
I'm gonna knock it out of the park.
592
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:44,486
- Okay.
- (door opens)
593
00:21:50,411 --> 00:21:52,567
This court is in session.
594
00:21:52,592 --> 00:21:55,878
Ms. Bunch, Mr. Plimpton,
your arguments may begin.
595
00:21:55,903 --> 00:22:00,168
Your Honor, we are here
today to establish that
596
00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,317
Mr. Plimpton's acquisition of the shares
597
00:22:02,342 --> 00:22:04,216
in the Whitefeather firm was fraudulent.
598
00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:07,759
That argument should be
rejected on a prima facie basis.
599
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:09,005
It is absurd.
600
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:11,179
Manipulating a transaction
601
00:22:11,181 --> 00:22:13,348
to gain a jurisdictional advantage
602
00:22:13,350 --> 00:22:14,723
is dishonest and cannot be abided.
603
00:22:14,748 --> 00:22:16,651
Your claims are overstated
604
00:22:16,653 --> 00:22:19,237
and stretch the legal limits
of local arbitration laws.
605
00:22:19,239 --> 00:22:20,528
Can you guys look at me?
606
00:22:20,553 --> 00:22:22,690
I can barely hear what you're saying.
607
00:22:23,614 --> 00:22:25,731
- Of course, Your Honor.
- Sorry, Your Honor.
608
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,638
(tango music playing)
609
00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:37,815
♪ I'm clearly not over you yet ♪
610
00:22:38,771 --> 00:22:41,738
♪ I'm clearly not over you, either ♪
611
00:22:41,740 --> 00:22:45,301
♪ Our love has
transformed into hate ♪
612
00:22:46,195 --> 00:22:49,363
♪ Damn, sex right now
would sure be great ♪
613
00:22:50,416 --> 00:22:53,417
♪ This is our horny, angry tango ♪
614
00:22:54,036 --> 00:22:55,285
♪ I want to fight ♪
615
00:22:55,287 --> 00:22:57,337
♪ I want to bang ♪
616
00:22:57,339 --> 00:23:01,613
♪ This is our horny, angry tango ♪
617
00:23:01,638 --> 00:23:04,878
♪ We're truly furious, but dang ♪
618
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,092
♪ We're also horny, too... ♪
619
00:23:07,795 --> 00:23:09,049
(clears throat)
620
00:23:09,051 --> 00:23:10,968
As I was saying,
621
00:23:10,970 --> 00:23:14,438
Mr. Plimpton was fully aware
of all the jurisdictional issues
622
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,939
when he first approached
Ms. Whitefeather
623
00:23:15,941 --> 00:23:17,891
to acquire the shares.
624
00:23:17,893 --> 00:23:20,527
♪ I want to tear
you limb from limb ♪
625
00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:24,698
♪ And put your limbs
all over my limbs ♪
626
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:27,067
♪ Each time we fight ♪
627
00:23:27,069 --> 00:23:29,536
♪ I crave you more ♪
628
00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:33,373
♪ This would be
better on the floor ♪
629
00:23:33,375 --> 00:23:37,127
♪ This is our horizontal tango ♪
630
00:23:37,129 --> 00:23:38,495
♪ We're both pissed off ♪
631
00:23:38,497 --> 00:23:39,546
♪ And yet turned on... ♪
632
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:41,131
(both moan softly)
633
00:23:41,133 --> 00:23:45,371
♪ This is our horizontal,
horny, angry tango ♪
634
00:23:45,888 --> 00:23:48,731
♪ Now it's time for a six bar long ♪
635
00:23:48,756 --> 00:23:51,090
♪ Classic tango dance break... ♪
636
00:23:53,185 --> 00:23:55,069
Ow, thorns.
637
00:23:59,121 --> 00:24:00,150
♪ Dip ♪
638
00:24:00,152 --> 00:24:01,401
♪ Whore ♪
639
00:24:01,403 --> 00:24:02,769
♪ Slap ♪
640
00:24:02,771 --> 00:24:04,938
♪ I cannot slap you back ♪
641
00:24:06,578 --> 00:24:09,189
♪ Because you are a lady ♪
642
00:24:09,617 --> 00:24:13,289
♪ That clearly is
a double standard ♪
643
00:24:13,866 --> 00:24:15,949
♪ But it's probably for the best ♪
644
00:24:15,951 --> 00:24:19,369
♪ This is our horny, angry tango. ♪
645
00:24:19,371 --> 00:24:22,799
(both panting)
646
00:24:23,214 --> 00:24:28,345
Well, you've made some powerful
arguments for both sides.
647
00:24:28,347 --> 00:24:29,546
Who won?
648
00:24:29,548 --> 00:24:30,931
Yeah, me or him?
649
00:24:30,933 --> 00:24:34,051
I'm not sure. Can we do
it again from the top?
650
00:24:34,053 --> 00:24:35,302
- Oh, God.
- Oh.
651
00:24:35,304 --> 00:24:36,520
Just joking.
652
00:24:36,522 --> 00:24:38,522
Ms. Bunch, I rule in your favor.
653
00:24:38,524 --> 00:24:40,307
The transaction is void.
654
00:24:40,309 --> 00:24:42,191
The shares revert to
Stacey Whitefeather.
655
00:24:42,216 --> 00:24:44,644
Who is selling them to us.
656
00:24:44,646 --> 00:24:45,812
(cheering)
657
00:24:45,814 --> 00:24:47,030
Oh, my God.
658
00:24:47,032 --> 00:24:48,865
Ah, you're so sweaty.
659
00:24:48,867 --> 00:24:50,534
I know, it's just... it's a whole...
660
00:24:50,536 --> 00:24:52,452
- it's a whole thing.
- Aah.
661
00:24:54,237 --> 00:24:57,157
This is amazing, but now
we have to buy the shares.
662
00:24:57,159 --> 00:24:59,159
I mean, how are we gonna do
that? None of us have any money.
663
00:24:59,161 --> 00:25:00,996
Don't worry. I got it covered.
664
00:25:02,933 --> 00:25:05,749
Shtetl ring to the rescue again.
665
00:25:05,751 --> 00:25:08,335
MAN: Mm-hmm.
666
00:25:08,337 --> 00:25:10,337
It's been in my family for generations.
667
00:25:10,566 --> 00:25:14,257
Legend has it that the stone
was mined from the same mountain
668
00:25:14,259 --> 00:25:15,972
as Chaim Potok's wife's wedding ring.
669
00:25:16,729 --> 00:25:17,677
It's fake.
670
00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:19,229
What?
671
00:25:19,231 --> 00:25:20,680
Oh, it's completely fake.
672
00:25:21,023 --> 00:25:22,232
What? No, no. No.
673
00:25:22,234 --> 00:25:24,538
How-how can the Garfinkel
ring not be real?
674
00:25:25,604 --> 00:25:26,686
I sold this.
675
00:25:26,688 --> 00:25:28,989
I sold this to a pawn
shop on East Cameron.
676
00:25:28,991 --> 00:25:30,440
Oh, that place went out of business.
677
00:25:30,465 --> 00:25:32,715
Poor sap was buying fake jewelry.
678
00:25:33,668 --> 00:25:35,355
Oh, my God.
679
00:25:42,587 --> 00:25:43,837
Paula, we need money.
680
00:25:43,862 --> 00:25:45,445
We don't have money.
What are we gonna do?
681
00:25:45,618 --> 00:25:47,282
We don't have any cabbage, scratch,
682
00:25:47,307 --> 00:25:48,623
no clams, no grilled cheese.
683
00:25:48,843 --> 00:25:50,893
Is grilled cheese
old-timey slang for money?
684
00:25:50,895 --> 00:25:52,945
No, I just really want a grilled cheese.
685
00:25:52,947 --> 00:25:55,204
Oh, with marshmallows.
God, I'm so hormonal.
686
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:57,720
Okay, you got to know
somebody with money.
687
00:25:57,722 --> 00:26:00,006
I mean, you grew up in Richistan.
688
00:26:00,008 --> 00:26:01,507
Don't you all have cocktail parties
689
00:26:01,509 --> 00:26:02,675
where you just stand around
690
00:26:02,677 --> 00:26:04,510
and talk about how to
get more tax breaks or...
691
00:26:04,512 --> 00:26:05,511
Paula, you bring up a point.
692
00:26:05,513 --> 00:26:07,182
I do know some rich people.
693
00:26:07,682 --> 00:26:10,016
Look, Audra and I have
been friends a long time,
694
00:26:10,018 --> 00:26:12,235
and you and I shared that
magical night together,
695
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:13,853
and I just thought,
you're always talking about
696
00:26:13,855 --> 00:26:15,658
how rich you are, so, you
know, it's no skin off your...
697
00:26:15,686 --> 00:26:18,958
Yeah, I-I'm rich because I don't
give money to idiots like you.
698
00:26:18,983 --> 00:26:20,084
And will you please
699
00:26:20,109 --> 00:26:22,131
stop telling people
that I'm a terrible lay
700
00:26:22,156 --> 00:26:23,989
and that I have a small hmm?
701
00:26:24,014 --> 00:26:25,630
It's sufficient.
702
00:26:26,139 --> 00:26:27,561
You must be so proud.
703
00:26:27,593 --> 00:26:29,459
- (Skype call ends)
- _
704
00:26:29,484 --> 00:26:31,117
BJ NOVAK: What don't
you understand, Rebecca?
705
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,570
My ecstasy factory is losing money.
706
00:26:33,572 --> 00:26:34,704
Everything's about opioids now.
707
00:26:34,706 --> 00:26:37,824
No one wants good, artisanal ecstasy.
708
00:26:37,826 --> 00:26:39,876
God, BJ, you went to Harvard.
709
00:26:39,878 --> 00:26:42,462
It's called being a hyphenate, Rebecca.
710
00:26:42,464 --> 00:26:44,146
Look it up.
711
00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:47,967
Come on, buddy, help me out.
712
00:26:47,969 --> 00:26:49,135
I don't know you.
713
00:26:49,137 --> 00:26:52,889
You keep saying you met
me at some boba stand.
714
00:26:52,891 --> 00:26:55,642
Listen, I don't remember
individual bobas.
715
00:26:55,644 --> 00:26:57,654
I boba three or four times a week.
716
00:26:57,679 --> 00:27:00,229
Now stop pestering my assistant.
717
00:27:00,231 --> 00:27:01,898
No, no, no, Dr. Phil, please don't go.
718
00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:03,316
(Skype call ends)
719
00:27:03,318 --> 00:27:05,568
(Rebecca exhales)
720
00:27:12,028 --> 00:27:12,992
Hey.
721
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,578
I have a lot of feelings about my job
722
00:27:15,580 --> 00:27:16,946
and I want to talk about them.
723
00:27:16,948 --> 00:27:18,948
Okay, so, I like having a real job.
724
00:27:18,950 --> 00:27:20,366
I feel like I have a lot to contribute.
725
00:27:20,368 --> 00:27:22,335
Also, what am I saying? I'm crushing it.
726
00:27:22,337 --> 00:27:23,953
I'm doing better than any other trainee.
727
00:27:23,955 --> 00:27:25,755
Also, having dental insurance is nice.
728
00:27:25,757 --> 00:27:27,206
My wisdom teeth are on the move.
729
00:27:27,546 --> 00:27:29,626
But I really don't like
the corporate environment
730
00:27:29,628 --> 00:27:32,548
and sports wordplay and
I miss my side hobbies,
731
00:27:32,573 --> 00:27:35,437
so, um, what do I do?
732
00:27:38,874 --> 00:27:42,472
Well, do you have a lot
of money I could use?
733
00:27:42,607 --> 00:27:43,781
Me?
734
00:27:43,975 --> 00:27:46,007
You pay my rent, so...
735
00:27:46,749 --> 00:27:48,171
Oh, God.
736
00:27:48,897 --> 00:27:52,398
Oh, God, I-I really, I really messed up.
737
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,034
Um, so, I told a bunch of people
that they could have something
738
00:27:55,036 --> 00:27:57,070
and they can't and I got their hopes up.
739
00:27:57,765 --> 00:27:58,871
And, oh, God.
740
00:27:58,873 --> 00:28:00,740
Oh, my hormones are out of control.
741
00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:02,375
It's like a hundred periods,
742
00:28:02,377 --> 00:28:03,960
plus what I imagine
cocaine would be like
743
00:28:03,962 --> 00:28:05,161
if I weren't too chicken to try it.
744
00:28:05,163 --> 00:28:07,246
- I...
- And here's the thing.
745
00:28:07,248 --> 00:28:08,851
The girl Nathaniel's dating,
it's killing me, okay?
746
00:28:09,281 --> 00:28:10,843
I say it's not, but it is.
747
00:28:11,419 --> 00:28:13,252
Every time I see a
picture of them, it just,
748
00:28:13,254 --> 00:28:15,838
it-it breaks my heart,
especially because she kind of
749
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,256
looks like me, but she has, like,
750
00:28:17,258 --> 00:28:19,559
better eyebrows and
thick, lustrous hair.
751
00:28:19,561 --> 00:28:21,678
It's like if you put me in
a Disney princess machine.
752
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,312
Oh, my God, I missed a shot.
753
00:28:23,314 --> 00:28:24,430
I got to go.
754
00:28:24,432 --> 00:28:25,848
Also, you should wash your vibrator.
755
00:28:28,486 --> 00:28:31,688
Wait... wait, what?
756
00:28:31,924 --> 00:28:33,473
What?
757
00:28:39,531 --> 00:28:41,698
(groans)
758
00:28:42,544 --> 00:28:44,760
(computer chimes)
759
00:28:48,416 --> 00:28:50,767
- (takes deep breath)
- _
760
00:28:51,258 --> 00:28:53,793
All right.
761
00:28:54,068 --> 00:28:58,219
Let's see who this whore is who
gets to go to my water parks.
762
00:28:58,243 --> 00:29:01,985
_
763
00:29:04,332 --> 00:29:06,332
_
764
00:29:07,344 --> 00:29:08,641
HECTOR: Try the dark Internet.
765
00:29:08,643 --> 00:29:10,476
(echoing): Dark Internet, dark Internet,
766
00:29:10,478 --> 00:29:13,646
- dark Internet, dark Internet...
- _
767
00:29:13,648 --> 00:29:16,616
(scoffs)
768
00:29:16,647 --> 00:29:18,647
_
769
00:29:19,266 --> 00:29:23,008
_
770
00:29:23,172 --> 00:29:25,321
_
771
00:29:25,390 --> 00:29:29,556
_
772
00:29:29,587 --> 00:29:31,798
(panting)
773
00:29:37,505 --> 00:29:39,388
REBECCA: So, it's possible, not certain,
774
00:29:39,390 --> 00:29:43,281
but possible that in a,
uh, hormone-fueled romp
775
00:29:43,306 --> 00:29:44,805
through the dark Internet last night,
776
00:29:44,807 --> 00:29:47,525
I may have ordered a hit on
Nathaniel's girlfriend, Mona.
777
00:29:47,527 --> 00:29:49,693
So, I, but it's okay. It's okay.
778
00:29:49,695 --> 00:29:50,728
I undid it this morning.
779
00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:51,812
I mean, at least I tried to.
780
00:29:51,814 --> 00:29:53,147
Hope I did. I think
I did. I probably did.
781
00:29:53,149 --> 00:29:54,482
But, um, yeah, so I'm starting to think
782
00:29:54,484 --> 00:29:57,368
that maybe the hormones, like,
were not the best idea for me.
783
00:29:57,370 --> 00:29:58,652
But I'm-I'm not ragging on hormones
784
00:29:58,654 --> 00:30:00,488
and egg donation, in general.
785
00:30:00,490 --> 00:30:01,455
Like, it's a wonderful thing.
786
00:30:01,457 --> 00:30:02,449
But, like, for me, in particular.
787
00:30:02,474 --> 00:30:04,802
Uh, that should've been obvious.
788
00:30:04,827 --> 00:30:06,794
We shouldn't be
discussing anything major
789
00:30:06,796 --> 00:30:08,074
until Dr. Shin gets here.
790
00:30:08,137 --> 00:30:09,604
Actually, guys, so,
don't-don't tell Dr. Shin
791
00:30:09,606 --> 00:30:11,305
anything that I just told you
792
00:30:11,307 --> 00:30:12,773
because I didn't check with him
793
00:30:12,775 --> 00:30:14,518
about this whole egg donation thing.
794
00:30:14,543 --> 00:30:16,460
I knew he would say it was a bad idea
795
00:30:16,462 --> 00:30:17,628
and I thought I could just
796
00:30:17,630 --> 00:30:19,011
SASSY my way through it.
797
00:30:19,036 --> 00:30:22,049
Is GASSY a thing?
Because I sit next to you
798
00:30:22,051 --> 00:30:24,371
and it seems like you eat a
lot of cruciferous veggies.
799
00:30:25,113 --> 00:30:29,856
Guys, look, I know I'm
super hormonal and irrational
800
00:30:29,858 --> 00:30:32,886
and rage-fueled right now,
but I... you know what?
801
00:30:32,911 --> 00:30:35,316
This takeover was a good
idea. It's a worthy cause.
802
00:30:35,341 --> 00:30:37,124
Yes, I know I was partly
doing it because of Nathaniel
803
00:30:37,149 --> 00:30:38,542
and his Insta-whore,
804
00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:41,285
but I really care about these people.
805
00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:44,011
You know, I-I care about all
those yutzes and-and he doesn't.
806
00:30:44,036 --> 00:30:46,543
I would be so much better of a boss,
807
00:30:46,568 --> 00:30:49,824
and now I don't have the
money to buy the shares,
808
00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:51,066
and I've had such a tough year
809
00:30:51,091 --> 00:30:52,511
and I just want to
fight for the little guy.
810
00:30:52,543 --> 00:30:54,961
You know? I want to, I want to
battle the corporate machine.
811
00:30:54,963 --> 00:30:57,747
- Yeah!
- Guys, guys, shut up.
812
00:30:57,749 --> 00:30:59,488
(chuckles) Dr. Shin is coming.
813
00:30:59,513 --> 00:31:01,667
Oh, guys, please, please,
don't tell him anything.
814
00:31:01,669 --> 00:31:02,969
Okay? Don't tell him anything. Right?
815
00:31:02,971 --> 00:31:07,222
Borderlines... go!
816
00:31:07,302 --> 00:31:08,785
Ew.
817
00:31:13,696 --> 00:31:15,079
(sighs)
818
00:31:19,027 --> 00:31:22,707
- Hey, Heather.
- Hey.
819
00:31:24,308 --> 00:31:25,574
It's good to see you.
820
00:31:26,019 --> 00:31:27,387
How's the program going?
821
00:31:27,699 --> 00:31:30,863
Ah, I miss this place.
822
00:31:31,215 --> 00:31:33,249
The smell of the fries,
823
00:31:33,251 --> 00:31:35,251
the sound of the fries,
824
00:31:35,253 --> 00:31:37,370
the heat from the fries.
825
00:31:37,372 --> 00:31:39,171
You want some fries?
826
00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:41,965
Yeah. Thanks.
827
00:31:43,177 --> 00:31:44,260
Gross.
828
00:31:44,262 --> 00:31:46,929
This place used to be my playground.
829
00:31:46,931 --> 00:31:48,347
It's still a playground.
830
00:31:48,349 --> 00:31:49,932
I mean, it's literally a playground.
831
00:31:49,934 --> 00:31:53,636
Chris, I don't know what to do.
832
00:31:53,638 --> 00:31:54,770
Me, neither.
833
00:31:54,772 --> 00:31:56,055
Both of my parents are drunk
834
00:31:56,057 --> 00:31:57,440
and I don't have a ride home.
835
00:31:58,148 --> 00:32:00,893
That's what I said.
836
00:32:00,895 --> 00:32:02,979
(sighs)
837
00:32:02,981 --> 00:32:05,064
- BERT: Have a good week.
- RICK: Yeah, next week.
838
00:32:05,066 --> 00:32:07,066
See you next week.
839
00:32:07,068 --> 00:32:08,451
(sighs) Rebecca. Oh, my God, Bert,
840
00:32:08,453 --> 00:32:09,485
I can't thank you enough
841
00:32:09,487 --> 00:32:11,237
for covering for me. I mean, God,
842
00:32:11,239 --> 00:32:12,989
you spent that whole session
talking about chemtrails.
843
00:32:12,991 --> 00:32:15,658
Governments use aircraft fumes
to spray us with sedatives.
844
00:32:15,660 --> 00:32:17,326
- Okay.
- That's why Americans
845
00:32:17,328 --> 00:32:18,521
are all so sleepy.
846
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,663
Anyway, I wanted to tell you this.
847
00:32:20,665 --> 00:32:25,584
Few people know this about me,
but I am a Bitcoin thousandaire.
848
00:32:26,374 --> 00:32:28,041
Okay, wow. Uh, what?
849
00:32:28,043 --> 00:32:30,857
Yeah, so I have all this money
and nothing to spend it on.
850
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:33,037
These fishing vests last a lifetime,
851
00:32:33,062 --> 00:32:34,538
especially if you never fish.
852
00:32:34,563 --> 00:32:36,697
What are you saying?
853
00:32:36,722 --> 00:32:39,556
I'm saying I'll give you
the money for your firm.
854
00:32:39,581 --> 00:32:41,721
- (gasps)
- I'll be a silent partner,
855
00:32:41,723 --> 00:32:43,115
and you can control the shares;
you can do whatever you want.
856
00:32:43,140 --> 00:32:45,600
Oh, my God,
Bert, Bert, you...
857
00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:47,819
you have no idea what this means to me.
858
00:32:47,875 --> 00:32:49,427
I mean, why would you even do this?
859
00:32:49,444 --> 00:32:51,661
Well, I like how you look
out for the little guy.
860
00:32:51,663 --> 00:32:54,113
And to tell you the truth,
I also need a tax break.
861
00:32:54,115 --> 00:32:55,581
Oh, God, Bert, thank
you, thank you so much.
862
00:32:55,583 --> 00:32:56,666
Oh, you're welcome.
863
00:32:56,668 --> 00:32:57,950
Oh, just don't squeeze too hard. Ooh.
864
00:32:57,952 --> 00:32:59,285
Just, oh, just my boobs.
865
00:32:59,287 --> 00:33:01,120
- They're giant melons of pain.
- I'm sorry.
866
00:33:01,122 --> 00:33:03,461
You've also got a pretty
big zit on your chin.
867
00:33:03,485 --> 00:33:05,375
I'm aware.
868
00:33:17,743 --> 00:33:19,443
What?
869
00:33:21,469 --> 00:33:24,024
Oh, of course. Okay.
What is going on?
870
00:33:24,079 --> 00:33:25,579
What's going on is that
871
00:33:25,581 --> 00:33:27,915
you are no longer the
senior partner at this firm.
872
00:33:28,423 --> 00:33:29,889
I found a semi-wealthy
873
00:33:29,891 --> 00:33:32,453
semi-friend to buy the voided shares,
874
00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:35,445
and he and Darryl have designated me
875
00:33:35,470 --> 00:33:37,386
as the proxy to make all the decisions.
876
00:33:37,411 --> 00:33:40,930
- So, I am now your superior.
- Superior?
877
00:33:41,407 --> 00:33:43,110
- You're not a man.
- Ah,
878
00:33:43,135 --> 00:33:45,086
things are gonna be a lot different
879
00:33:45,111 --> 00:33:46,994
around here, Nathaniel. Mm-mm-mm.
880
00:33:46,996 --> 00:33:49,280
30-hour workweeks,
mandatory nap breaks,
881
00:33:49,282 --> 00:33:51,665
- two-hour lunches.
- Oh, what's going on?
882
00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:52,866
Here, no, no, no, no, no, no.
883
00:33:52,868 --> 00:33:54,418
Get this garbage out of my office.
884
00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:56,253
Excuse me, that's not
garbage. That's Gloria.
885
00:33:56,255 --> 00:33:57,254
Estefan?
886
00:33:57,256 --> 00:33:59,924
No, Gloria Steinem and you knew that.
And this is our office now.
887
00:33:59,926 --> 00:34:01,875
See, Darryl is about to have a baby,
888
00:34:01,877 --> 00:34:03,928
courtesy of me and my powerful ovaries.
889
00:34:03,930 --> 00:34:06,078
So, get comfy.
890
00:34:06,103 --> 00:34:08,187
'Cause I'm moving in with you.
891
00:34:11,020 --> 00:34:13,804
FRANK: So, in the next four
years, we will have five
892
00:34:13,806 --> 00:34:15,973
new sites and 16 new menu items...
893
00:34:15,975 --> 00:34:16,941
Hey, Frank.
894
00:34:16,943 --> 00:34:18,442
Heather. Hi. Sorry to bother you
895
00:34:18,444 --> 00:34:21,111
during... whatever this boring
thing is that you're doing.
896
00:34:21,113 --> 00:34:23,569
Is this the refreshing
person you told us about?
897
00:34:23,594 --> 00:34:25,149
Dessert tapas.
898
00:34:25,151 --> 00:34:26,817
- (murmuring)
- HEATHER: Yes, that's me.
899
00:34:26,819 --> 00:34:28,569
Dessert tapas.
900
00:34:28,571 --> 00:34:30,621
So, I came here to quit, because I hate
901
00:34:30,623 --> 00:34:34,291
offices and conference rooms
and undergarments, but...
902
00:34:34,293 --> 00:34:35,960
no, I don't want to quit,
903
00:34:35,962 --> 00:34:37,828
because you guys
definitely need diversity.
904
00:34:37,830 --> 00:34:39,713
And I don't just mean people of color,
905
00:34:39,715 --> 00:34:41,498
which you also desperately
need. It's, like,
906
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:43,467
creepily homogenous in this place.
907
00:34:43,469 --> 00:34:44,996
But I also mean, like,
908
00:34:45,021 --> 00:34:48,339
people who have good,
out-of-the-box ideas.
909
00:34:48,341 --> 00:34:50,153
I want to go where I'm needed.
910
00:34:50,178 --> 00:34:53,394
I actually love the
Home Bases, like, a lot,
911
00:34:53,396 --> 00:34:55,813
and I want to make them all better.
912
00:34:55,815 --> 00:34:58,015
Like, from top to bottom, not just
913
00:34:58,017 --> 00:34:59,474
in one area.
914
00:34:59,499 --> 00:35:02,987
So... I'd like to be transferred
915
00:35:02,989 --> 00:35:04,989
to the store management trainee program
916
00:35:04,991 --> 00:35:08,099
where I can start to
manage stores on site.
917
00:35:08,527 --> 00:35:10,444
We don't have that program.
918
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,664
But we should.
919
00:35:13,666 --> 00:35:16,011
I make a motion to start one.
920
00:35:16,335 --> 00:35:18,202
You can just do that?
921
00:35:18,370 --> 00:35:20,537
Of course. I just need
someone to second it.
922
00:35:20,539 --> 00:35:23,841
- Second it. And third.
- (member chuckles)
923
00:35:23,843 --> 00:35:25,592
What a board meeting.
924
00:35:25,594 --> 00:35:28,262
I might make love to my wife tonight.
925
00:35:28,264 --> 00:35:29,346
Lucky woman.
926
00:35:29,348 --> 00:35:30,681
Yeah. She's really lucky.
927
00:35:30,683 --> 00:35:33,183
- Sure is.
- (sighs): Wow.
928
00:35:35,264 --> 00:35:36,720
HEATHER: So, now,
929
00:35:36,722 --> 00:35:39,303
at long last, I know who I am.
930
00:35:39,496 --> 00:35:41,446
I'm not a student.
931
00:35:41,495 --> 00:35:43,495
I'm a regional manager.
932
00:35:43,913 --> 00:35:45,312
I get to boss people around
933
00:35:45,314 --> 00:35:47,948
at three San Gabriel Valley Home Bases.
934
00:35:47,950 --> 00:35:49,950
- Wow. (chuckles)
- (chuckles) Yeah.
935
00:35:49,952 --> 00:35:51,235
Of course, the West Covina Home Base
936
00:35:51,237 --> 00:35:52,702
will be my home base Home Base.
937
00:35:52,727 --> 00:35:55,456
So you're basically Kevin's boss now?
938
00:35:55,458 --> 00:35:56,907
(chuckles): Yeah.
939
00:35:56,909 --> 00:35:58,749
Yeah. That's weird.
940
00:35:59,593 --> 00:36:01,578
God, I just feel like...
941
00:36:01,580 --> 00:36:04,715
everything's come together in
this cool and unexpected way.
942
00:36:04,717 --> 00:36:07,521
And so now...
943
00:36:08,052 --> 00:36:10,254
I don't know... I feel
ready to take our thing
944
00:36:10,256 --> 00:36:11,685
to the next level, too.
945
00:36:12,685 --> 00:36:13,841
Really?
946
00:36:13,843 --> 00:36:15,976
Yeah. I was thinking
947
00:36:15,978 --> 00:36:19,193
maybe you could... move in?
948
00:36:19,756 --> 00:36:21,565
But I know you're happy here
949
00:36:21,567 --> 00:36:23,934
being besties with your mom.
950
00:36:23,936 --> 00:36:25,402
(laughing) I can't believe
this thing's, like, a large.
951
00:36:25,404 --> 00:36:26,570
But it looks so good.
952
00:36:26,572 --> 00:36:28,655
I'm so happy to do
that for you. No. I...
953
00:36:28,657 --> 00:36:29,773
- So sweet of you.
- Aw.
954
00:36:29,775 --> 00:36:31,408
We're gonna go see Metallica.
955
00:36:31,410 --> 00:36:33,444
- Uh, we might be home late.
- Mm.
956
00:36:33,714 --> 00:36:36,280
- S... Bye.
- Bye!
957
00:36:36,282 --> 00:36:38,749
- (chuckles) I'm so excited.
- JOSH: I know. Bye.
958
00:36:38,751 --> 00:36:40,951
- (door shuts)
- Yeah, about my mom...
959
00:36:40,953 --> 00:36:43,754
(sighs) For the last
few days, I've seen Josh
960
00:36:43,756 --> 00:36:45,456
become her best friend, and...
961
00:36:45,458 --> 00:36:47,424
it's not a good look for him.
962
00:36:47,426 --> 00:36:48,780
Or me.
963
00:36:49,788 --> 00:36:51,553
It's time for me to move out.
964
00:36:51,964 --> 00:36:54,217
Good job, baby.
965
00:37:02,796 --> 00:37:05,180
KEVIN: Welcome home, Regional Manager.
966
00:37:05,182 --> 00:37:07,716
I was so happy when I
heard the news, I went out
967
00:37:07,718 --> 00:37:09,734
- and got you a little present.
- What?
968
00:37:09,736 --> 00:37:11,436
Kevin, you didn't have
to get me anything.
969
00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:12,520
Yes, I did.
970
00:37:12,522 --> 00:37:15,340
When last we spoke, I
was being insensitive.
971
00:37:15,342 --> 00:37:18,310
Since then, I've gone through
extensive online training
972
00:37:18,312 --> 00:37:19,694
in racial sensitivity.
973
00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,780
- What?
- I got you this gift
974
00:37:21,782 --> 00:37:23,198
to say congrats on the new job
975
00:37:23,479 --> 00:37:25,283
and also to say
976
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:27,776
I'm... "sari."
977
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:30,071
Kevin, I'm not Indian.
978
00:37:30,073 --> 00:37:31,823
I get that a lot, but...
979
00:37:31,825 --> 00:37:33,742
my mom's white, my dad's black.
980
00:37:33,744 --> 00:37:35,911
That's what I am. I'm
half-black, half-white.
981
00:37:35,913 --> 00:37:37,495
100% Michigan.
982
00:37:37,497 --> 00:37:39,464
No. What have I done?
983
00:37:39,466 --> 00:37:41,750
I don't know, but even if I were Indian,
984
00:37:41,752 --> 00:37:44,386
like, not the right move at all here.
985
00:37:44,388 --> 00:37:46,137
I'm so ashamed!
986
00:37:46,139 --> 00:37:47,505
And so hot!
987
00:37:47,507 --> 00:37:49,808
- No... Oh, it's happening.
- (grunting)
988
00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:51,977
- Okay, no. Uh...
- (panting, sniffs)
989
00:37:51,979 --> 00:37:53,178
(exhales)
990
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,051
Oh. Your new rule
991
00:37:56,076 --> 00:37:58,683
about mandated
undershirts is a good idea.
992
00:37:58,685 --> 00:38:00,485
(sighs)
993
00:38:01,481 --> 00:38:03,481
_
994
00:38:03,506 --> 00:38:04,906
(Darryl sighs)
995
00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:07,242
Any minute, they're
gonna call and tell us
996
00:38:07,244 --> 00:38:09,244
how the surrogate implantation is going.
997
00:38:10,045 --> 00:38:11,696
Oh, my God. Can you imagine,
carrying someone else's baby?
998
00:38:11,698 --> 00:38:12,948
What an angel. It's
amazing. I know. I can't...
999
00:38:12,950 --> 00:38:15,000
- (phone ringing)
- Oh! Oh. Oh! Oh!
1000
00:38:15,002 --> 00:38:16,368
- (mutters)
- (beeps)
1001
00:38:16,370 --> 00:38:17,369
Hello?
1002
00:38:17,371 --> 00:38:19,654
Yes, this is Darryl Whitefeather.
1003
00:38:21,162 --> 00:38:24,376
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1004
00:38:24,378 --> 00:38:25,631
What? Hey, what's happening?
What's wrong?
1005
00:38:25,656 --> 00:38:26,795
Mm, mm, mm.
1006
00:38:26,797 --> 00:38:28,680
Yes.
1007
00:38:28,947 --> 00:38:31,615
No, thank you. I und... I understand.
1008
00:38:33,804 --> 00:38:36,604
The doctor was gonna put
our embryo in the surrogate,
1009
00:38:36,606 --> 00:38:39,891
and he realized that
she was already pregnant
1010
00:38:39,893 --> 00:38:41,059
- and she didn't know.
- What?
1011
00:38:41,061 --> 00:38:42,978
(sighs) Oh, God.
1012
00:38:42,980 --> 00:38:44,980
I'm gonna have to find a
surrogate in the next 24 hours
1013
00:38:44,982 --> 00:38:46,481
or they're gonna freeze the embryo,
1014
00:38:46,483 --> 00:38:48,867
which makes it way less viable.
1015
00:38:49,111 --> 00:38:50,894
I'll do it.
1016
00:38:51,455 --> 00:38:53,405
- Wait, what did she just say?
- Sorry,
1017
00:38:53,407 --> 00:38:55,407
hey, Heather? Can you... can you come...
1018
00:38:55,409 --> 00:38:57,075
can you come back here for a second?
1019
00:38:57,077 --> 00:38:59,294
What w... What did...
what-what did you say?
1020
00:38:59,296 --> 00:39:00,745
Oh.
1021
00:39:00,747 --> 00:39:02,580
Yeah, I'm feeling good about my future.
1022
00:39:02,582 --> 00:39:03,798
I can do a quick favor.
1023
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,383
It's still just nine months, right?
1024
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:07,502
They haven't changed that, have they?
1025
00:39:07,504 --> 00:39:08,636
'Cause you know I love my hobbies.
1026
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:12,590
Did you just say that
you would carry our baby?
1027
00:39:12,592 --> 00:39:14,142
Yeah, it's fine.
1028
00:39:14,144 --> 00:39:15,593
- Oh, my God. Heather.
- (laughing)
1029
00:39:15,595 --> 00:39:18,596
- Okay. Moved in my beanbag chair.
- (chuckles)
1030
00:39:18,598 --> 00:39:20,265
What-What's happening?
1031
00:39:20,267 --> 00:39:22,934
Oh. The three of us are just
gonna have a baby together.
1032
00:39:22,936 --> 00:39:24,402
It's no big deal.
1033
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:26,855
Cool. Cool.
1034
00:39:26,857 --> 00:39:27,989
What?
1035
00:39:27,991 --> 00:39:31,109
- Heather! Oh, my God!
- (laughs) Yay!
1036
00:39:31,134 --> 00:39:32,934
(insects trilling)
1037
00:39:42,158 --> 00:39:43,755
Hey. Um...
1038
00:39:44,165 --> 00:39:46,298
I've been thinking about how I've acted
1039
00:39:46,323 --> 00:39:48,960
over the past couple weeks, and, um...
1040
00:39:49,228 --> 00:39:50,628
now that I'm off the hormones,
1041
00:39:50,630 --> 00:39:53,681
I realize that my behavior has been,
1042
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,717
shall we say, heightened.
1043
00:39:56,743 --> 00:39:58,923
So, I, uh...
1044
00:40:00,415 --> 00:40:01,973
I apologize.
1045
00:40:03,142 --> 00:40:04,692
I know I wasn't the nicest person
1046
00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:07,033
when you asked for your job back.
1047
00:40:07,772 --> 00:40:10,158
And the Raging Waters thing...
1048
00:40:12,595 --> 00:40:14,402
I was trying to get under your skin.
1049
00:40:14,404 --> 00:40:15,987
- (chuckles)
- I'm sorry.
1050
00:40:15,989 --> 00:40:17,655
Honestly, we went in
there for ten minutes,
1051
00:40:17,657 --> 00:40:19,040
took a picture, and left.
1052
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:22,072
You know I can't stand
direct sunlight and people.
1053
00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:24,379
(chuckling): Right. Right.
1054
00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:26,831
Nathaniel, I know that you think
1055
00:40:26,833 --> 00:40:28,228
that I ditched you,
1056
00:40:29,595 --> 00:40:31,275
but I really am just...
1057
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:34,301
I'm not ready to be in a
real relationship right now.
1058
00:40:37,806 --> 00:40:39,144
I really care about you.
1059
00:40:39,146 --> 00:40:40,478
I hope you know that.
1060
00:40:41,259 --> 00:40:43,181
And breaking things off with you was,
1061
00:40:43,183 --> 00:40:45,600
honestly, one of the hardest
things I've ever done.
1062
00:40:47,751 --> 00:40:48,770
Wow.
1063
00:40:48,772 --> 00:40:50,009
Yeah.
1064
00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:51,606
Okay.
1065
00:40:52,155 --> 00:40:53,955
And, um...
1066
00:40:55,439 --> 00:40:57,853
I'm happy that you found someone else.
1067
00:40:59,533 --> 00:41:02,062
- Mona seems lovely.
- Yeah.
1068
00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:03,884
Yeah, she really is.
1069
00:41:03,909 --> 00:41:06,421
Great. So I'm glad that
we can just be adults now.
1070
00:41:06,423 --> 00:41:08,373
- Yes, exactly.
- Okay, good.
1071
00:41:08,759 --> 00:41:10,361
Um...
1072
00:41:10,962 --> 00:41:12,377
Uh... Ah.
1073
00:41:12,379 --> 00:41:14,179
- Friends? Friends.
- (chuckles)
1074
00:41:14,181 --> 00:41:15,681
Yeah. (chuckles)
1075
00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:18,433
(both chuckle)
1076
00:41:21,221 --> 00:41:23,438
(moaning)
1077
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:28,193
This is a terrible idea.
1078
00:41:28,195 --> 00:41:31,120
This is the worst idea.
This is the worst idea.
1079
00:41:33,295 --> 00:41:35,659
(moaning)
1080
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:40,066
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
1080
00:41:41,305 --> 00:41:47,623
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
78391
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
