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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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00:00:03,784 --> 00:00:05,913
- So, you and V are good now.
- Yeah.
3
00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:07,153
I always knew I kind of liked you.
4
00:00:07,155 --> 00:00:09,773
You're basic but in an enjoyable way.
5
00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:10,781
So, you're hanging out with...
6
00:00:10,806 --> 00:00:12,858
Uh, yeah, yeah. Kind
of like my bitches now.
7
00:00:12,883 --> 00:00:15,083
- I'm Sunil Odhav. Sunil.
- This is kind of embarrassing,
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00:00:15,085 --> 00:00:16,585
but you know you two are
wearing the same bracelet.
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00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:18,452
Yeah. They're friendship bracelets.
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00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,978
Oh! Oh! O-Okay!
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- Uh, I got to go.
- You did not see his face
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00:00:23,516 --> 00:00:25,062
when he left my apartment that day.
13
00:00:25,087 --> 00:00:26,984
I was dead to him. Like, he didn't want
14
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,235
to spend any more time with me.
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00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,104
I promise you, I'm gonna fix this.
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00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:32,217
All we need is some random
guy who went to Harvard
17
00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:34,191
at the same time you did
and lives in Los Angeles.
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00:00:34,193 --> 00:00:36,000
Ooh! Trent.
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00:00:36,025 --> 00:00:37,522
Oh, that's a perfect
name for a fake boyfriend.
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00:00:37,547 --> 00:00:38,779
Trent!
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Baby!
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00:00:40,282 --> 00:00:41,453
Are you gonna kill me?
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00:00:41,478 --> 00:00:44,918
No! Why would I kill you? I love you.
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00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,503
- This isn't happening.
- Right.
25
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,288
You're not... we're not
gonna have a relationship.
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00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:52,092
* I'm just a girl in love *
27
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,794
* La-la-la,
lovey-dove *
28
00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:56,430
* I can't be held
responsible for my actions *
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00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,215
* She's an ingenue *
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00:00:58,217 --> 00:01:00,300
* I have no underlying
issues to address *
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00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:02,803
* I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed *
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* They say love makes you crazy *
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00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,974
* Therefore, you
can't call her crazy *
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00:01:06,976 --> 00:01:08,976
* 'Cause when you call her crazy *
35
00:01:08,978 --> 00:01:11,145
* You're just calling her in love. *
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00:01:11,147 --> 00:01:12,362
Blam!
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... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...
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00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,119
Four pairs of flip flops,
two pairs of water shoes,
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00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,955
three skateboards, a
bamboo epoxy surfboard,
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00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,657
rainbow board shorts,
shark board shorts,
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00:01:23,659 --> 00:01:25,325
and rubber ducky board shorts.
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00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:27,211
And then we've got the
hoodies, the cropped hoodies,
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00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:29,830
the sleeveless hoodies, and
then just some plain hoods.
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00:01:29,832 --> 00:01:31,582
And with the eight pairs of sunglasses,
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00:01:31,584 --> 00:01:34,501
the waterproof dive watch,
and Swimming For Idiots,
46
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:38,820
that comes to $10,312.93.
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Thank you, sir.
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00:01:41,437 --> 00:01:42,893
Please...
49
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,145
call me bro.
50
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,523
Planning a big surfing trip, bro?
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00:01:47,548 --> 00:01:49,683
No. I hate the ocean.
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00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:52,258
I'm so scared of water,
I spot-wash in the shower.
53
00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,400
I almost drowned in a
pool when I was little.
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00:01:54,425 --> 00:01:56,759
I'm just in town to infiltrate,
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or should I say "inchilltrate,"
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00:01:59,059 --> 00:02:01,560
a certain bro friend group.
57
00:02:01,585 --> 00:02:03,301
It's part one of a 42-point plan
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00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,616
that I call The Bunch Inception,
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00:02:05,618 --> 00:02:08,820
and it starts with me getting
in with this group of dudes.
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00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:11,849
Well, if you ask me, forcing
friendships never works.
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00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,641
Oh, and if you ask me,
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00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,916
I didn't ask you, Surf Shop Lady.
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00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:24,623
Dude, move up. Quit
texting your new girlfriend.
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00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,708
Um, Anna is not my Ne.
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00:02:26,710 --> 00:02:28,627
We've only been out
on three amazing dates.
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00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:31,013
Yeah. You were single
for a brutal 11 minutes.
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00:02:31,015 --> 00:02:32,514
I'm glad you finally found somebody.
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00:02:32,516 --> 00:02:37,302
Hey. Uh, sorry, guys.
It's finals. New policy.
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00:02:37,304 --> 00:02:38,887
150 bucks for a table,
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00:02:38,889 --> 00:02:40,439
50 bucks for the bar.
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It's like Vegas.
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Models and bottles.
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00:02:43,109 --> 00:02:44,560
A cover charge?
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00:02:44,562 --> 00:02:45,727
At Home Base?
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00:02:45,729 --> 00:02:49,648
Look, I love you guys, I appreciate
your masculine bonhomie,
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00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:50,949
but times are tough.
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00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:53,318
- Finals are my moneymaker.
- Oh,
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00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,153
Come on! Kevin. Just this once?
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00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:56,872
- And also tomorrow night?
- And also... always,
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00:02:56,874 --> 00:02:58,156
until the finals are over?
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00:02:58,453 --> 00:03:00,608
Look, if you can't afford it,
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00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,605
please just go.
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00:03:03,156 --> 00:03:05,547
I can't stand seeing
the sadness in your eyes.
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00:03:05,976 --> 00:03:07,583
It hurts my heart.
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00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:09,668
All right.
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00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:12,084
- Thought we were boys.
- Oh, my God,
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00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,906
I lurve having someone to
go to the bathroom with.
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00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:14,506
Mm-hmm!
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00:03:14,508 --> 00:03:15,507
Stall sisters!
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00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:17,142
That's sweet, but next time,
when you got to go
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00:03:17,144 --> 00:03:18,343
number two, close the door, okay?
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00:03:18,345 --> 00:03:19,595
Uh, okay, but...
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00:03:19,597 --> 00:03:21,313
just so you know, like, when I disarm
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00:03:21,315 --> 00:03:23,315
the whole security system,
it's like the back door
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00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:24,850
unlocks with the front.
Know what I'm saying?
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00:03:24,852 --> 00:03:26,685
You talk about pooping a lot.
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00:03:26,687 --> 00:03:27,853
What up, thirsty hoes?
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00:03:27,855 --> 00:03:29,521
Hey! Oh, my God. Heather,
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00:03:29,523 --> 00:03:32,436
thank you for snagging us
the best table in the place.
100
00:03:32,461 --> 00:03:34,461
Yeah. My girl Heath hooked us up
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00:03:34,477 --> 00:03:35,893
for the finals of... something.
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00:03:35,895 --> 00:03:37,478
Ladies,
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00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,031
if I may have permission to
be just a wee bit hyperbolic
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00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,482
- for a second,
- Mm-hmm.
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00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:43,901
I've had the best time hanging
out with the both of you.
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00:03:43,903 --> 00:03:47,488
Like, I think it's
official that we're a squad.
107
00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:49,240
Oh! Right? We're like...
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00:03:49,242 --> 00:03:51,492
Sotomayor, Bader Ginsburg and Kagan!
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00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:52,877
Um, yeah.
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00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:54,162
Yeah.
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00:03:54,164 --> 00:03:55,463
This is so cool. I've never
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00:03:55,465 --> 00:03:57,215
been part of a girl group like this.
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00:03:57,217 --> 00:03:59,500
If peeing together is fun, I can't wait
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00:03:59,502 --> 00:04:01,719
- for the next activities! Squee!
- Squee!
115
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,721
Yeah. I've also never had a girl group,
116
00:04:03,723 --> 00:04:05,173
and that's 'cause studies
show that women
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00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:06,724
tend to be indirect communicators
118
00:04:06,726 --> 00:04:07,975
- and I'm too direct.
- Ah!
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00:04:07,977 --> 00:04:09,677
Speaking of which, here is a mint,
120
00:04:09,679 --> 00:04:12,346
because your breath doesn't
smell, like, amazing.
121
00:04:12,348 --> 00:04:14,565
Oh!
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00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:16,684
Look at that. Look
at how you helped her.
123
00:04:16,686 --> 00:04:18,820
You know what? When we stick together,
124
00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:20,772
I'm pretty convinced
there's nothing we can't do.
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00:04:20,774 --> 00:04:23,191
Like, I don't know. We could
just take over the world.
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00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:24,692
- Totally.
- Oh, my God,
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00:04:24,694 --> 00:04:25,777
- I didn't tell you.
- Yeah, I feel that.
128
00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:27,028
What? My name is actually Maria...
129
00:04:29,783 --> 00:04:31,282
You have now entered the world
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00:04:31,284 --> 00:04:32,834
of the best friends squad.
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00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:35,503
And when you have friends
that are this best,
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00:04:35,505 --> 00:04:37,371
you feel unstoppable... unstoppable.
133
00:04:37,373 --> 00:04:39,207
So, prepare to surrender...
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00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:40,792
to the power of friendship.
135
00:04:40,794 --> 00:04:42,677
'Cause we're gonna take over the world.
136
00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:44,095
Like, actually.
137
00:04:44,097 --> 00:04:45,880
We are actually going
to take over the world.
138
00:04:45,882 --> 00:04:48,216
Well, just... just look over there.
139
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:50,885
* When my friends
and I stick together *
140
00:04:50,887 --> 00:04:52,720
* There's nothing we can't do *
141
00:04:52,722 --> 00:04:55,106
* And when I say that,
I specifically mean *
142
00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:56,941
* We're gonna stage a coup *
143
00:04:56,943 --> 00:04:59,110
* With the power of our gossip giggles *
144
00:04:59,112 --> 00:05:00,561
* We'll storm the Pentagon *
145
00:05:00,563 --> 00:05:02,313
* Then celebrate *
146
00:05:02,315 --> 00:05:04,866
* With bottomless mimosas
on the White House lawn *
147
00:05:04,868 --> 00:05:06,317
* We're gonna braid
each other's hair *
148
00:05:06,319 --> 00:05:07,652
* Then cut each other's braids *
149
00:05:07,654 --> 00:05:09,704
* Connect the braids
to build a rope *
150
00:05:09,706 --> 00:05:11,873
* To hang all of Congress *
151
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,908
* Squad goals, stay
together forever *
152
00:05:13,910 --> 00:05:16,127
* Squad goals, take
control of the banks *
153
00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:18,129
* Squad goals, don't let
a man come between us *
154
00:05:18,131 --> 00:05:20,248
* If he does, shoot
him in the head *
155
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,250
* Oh *
156
00:05:22,252 --> 00:05:23,668
* Friendtopia *
157
00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,721
* A dystopia around our friendship *
158
00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:28,306
* Friendtopia *
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00:05:28,308 --> 00:05:29,924
* Our manifesto is fun *
160
00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:31,809
* Zig-a-zow *
161
00:05:32,846 --> 00:05:34,762
* Now that we have total control *
162
00:05:34,764 --> 00:05:36,597
* Get ready for what's in store *
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00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:38,716
* Our reign will be
like Sweet Valley High *
164
00:05:38,718 --> 00:05:40,852
* Meets 1984 *
165
00:05:40,854 --> 00:05:42,854
* When one of us gets dumped *
166
00:05:42,856 --> 00:05:45,106
* That becomes Memorial Day *
167
00:05:45,108 --> 00:05:46,941
* All agriculture will be diverted *
168
00:05:46,943 --> 00:05:49,243
* Into making us Ros� *
169
00:05:49,245 --> 00:05:51,445
* There's a really
exclusive sushi place *
170
00:05:51,447 --> 00:05:53,364
* That never lets us in *
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00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:55,533
* So when we don't get in, we say *
172
00:05:55,535 --> 00:05:57,952
* Let's just go home
and drink Ros� *
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00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:59,770
* Roll call *
174
00:05:59,772 --> 00:06:02,006
* Rebecca, the brainy one *
175
00:06:02,008 --> 00:06:04,091
* Head of censorship
and mind control *
176
00:06:04,093 --> 00:06:05,927
* Heather, the cool one *
177
00:06:05,929 --> 00:06:08,129
* I put drugs in the water supply *
178
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:10,131
* Valencia, the sexy one *
179
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:12,633
* Czar of torture *
180
00:06:12,635 --> 00:06:14,302
* Oh *
181
00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:16,187
* Friendtopia *
182
00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:18,806
* We nostalgically
watch Hocus Pocus *
183
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:20,424
* Friendtopia *
184
00:06:20,426 --> 00:06:22,944
* Aw, I love Hocus Pocus *
185
00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:24,512
* Friendtopia *
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00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:27,114
* All citizens must
watch Hocus Pocus *
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* Friendtopia *
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00:06:28,785 --> 00:06:30,618
* Or they will be killed *
189
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:33,070
* Zig-a-zow. *
190
00:06:36,504 --> 00:06:38,203
Okay. Everyone in for a selfie?
191
00:06:38,494 --> 00:06:39,744
- Yes! Okay.
- Here we go.
192
00:06:39,746 --> 00:06:40,711
Ready? Chin down.
193
00:06:40,713 --> 00:06:42,296
- Hooker.
- Mm.
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00:06:42,298 --> 00:06:44,048
Oh, I think that was good.
195
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,416
- Let's approve it. Yeah?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
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00:06:45,418 --> 00:06:46,801
- Approved. Yeah.
- Approved.
197
00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:48,135
- Yeah.
- Yeah. I love the side angle.
198
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:49,720
- It was solid. What filter?
- Um...
199
00:06:49,722 --> 00:06:50,888
- Valencia!
- Valencia!
200
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:53,674
- Oh!
- Duh! Clearly.
201
00:06:53,676 --> 00:06:55,543
So, this is your girl group, huh?
202
00:06:55,907 --> 00:06:57,845
Oh, yeah.
203
00:06:57,847 --> 00:07:00,848
That's us. And we spell "gurl"
with a "U." Isn't that cute?
204
00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:03,184
- Really cute.
- Well, it seems a bit exclusion-y,
205
00:07:03,186 --> 00:07:05,686
I mean, since you do
have other close friends.
206
00:07:05,688 --> 00:07:07,838
Oh, wait, Darryl, are
you talking about Paula?
207
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,907
Yes, and... others.
208
00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:12,360
- Oh, Darryl, come on. Don't start.
- There might also be
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00:07:12,362 --> 00:07:15,329
other others who would
enjoy being included.
210
00:07:15,354 --> 00:07:16,937
Maya, don't start.
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00:07:18,701 --> 00:07:19,834
Darryl, you don't... you
don't think that Paula
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00:07:19,836 --> 00:07:21,702
feels left out by that photo, right?
213
00:07:21,704 --> 00:07:23,871
She doesn't feel like I've replaced her?
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00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:26,507
Well, I can't speak for Paula, but
215
00:07:26,509 --> 00:07:29,010
getting back to the others that
might be hurt by this photo.
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00:07:29,012 --> 00:07:30,211
OMG. I think you're right.
217
00:07:30,213 --> 00:07:31,879
Look at... look at her.
Look how sad she is.
218
00:07:31,881 --> 00:07:33,509
She totally feels left out.
219
00:07:34,217 --> 00:07:36,717
God. What am I doing? What am I doing?
220
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:38,219
I've completely broken her heart.
221
00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:40,221
I'm... I'm a complete monster.
222
00:07:40,223 --> 00:07:41,722
After everything she's done for me.
223
00:07:41,724 --> 00:07:43,140
Okay.
224
00:07:43,142 --> 00:07:44,809
Okay. Okay. I can still fix this.
225
00:07:44,811 --> 00:07:46,811
I can totally fix this,
because all I have to do
226
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:48,980
is blend my old friend
somehow into my new friends
227
00:07:48,982 --> 00:07:50,898
like some sort of friend jambalaya.
228
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,200
Well, why don't you just invite
Paula and your new friends
229
00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:56,871
and any... really cool
co-workers that you have,
230
00:07:56,873 --> 00:07:59,040
and just take them
out on a little soiree.
231
00:07:59,042 --> 00:08:01,208
No... And then boom. You've got
232
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:02,626
a spicy, friend-y stew.
233
00:08:02,628 --> 00:08:04,745
No. Darryl, I love you, but
that will never work, okay?
234
00:08:04,747 --> 00:08:06,297
You just can't glom a
bunch of girls together
235
00:08:06,299 --> 00:08:08,332
who have nothing in
common. It'll feel...
236
00:08:08,334 --> 00:08:10,217
gross and forced. Ew.
237
00:08:10,219 --> 00:08:13,054
No. What I have to do is make
it spontaneous and surprising,
238
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:14,922
like, "Oh! Look who happens to be here.
239
00:08:14,924 --> 00:08:16,340
"You happen to be here,
you happen to be here.
240
00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:17,808
"What a fun, spontaneous,
241
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,844
not forced blend of Rebecca's friends!"
242
00:08:19,846 --> 00:08:21,095
Oh, and how are you gonna do that?
243
00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:22,146
I don't know, Darryl.
244
00:08:22,148 --> 00:08:23,264
Just stop starting.
245
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:24,482
Fine.
246
00:08:24,484 --> 00:08:26,100
Word on the street
247
00:08:26,102 --> 00:08:28,102
is you have a super fun girl group!
248
00:08:28,104 --> 00:08:30,104
"Gurl" with a "U." Sassy.
249
00:08:30,106 --> 00:08:31,522
I know something really fun
250
00:08:31,524 --> 00:08:34,191
that all girl groups love.
251
00:08:34,193 --> 00:08:36,579
Naughty toy parties.
252
00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:40,114
My fabulous friend
Angelique throws them,
253
00:08:40,116 --> 00:08:43,284
she is such a character.
The girls have the best time.
254
00:08:43,286 --> 00:08:45,202
She brings everyone together,
255
00:08:45,204 --> 00:08:47,705
all different types of girls.
256
00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:49,642
Think about it.
257
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:03,270
Peanut monster!
258
00:09:03,272 --> 00:09:04,388
Oh, oh. I'm sorry.
259
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,273
I-I thought you were my boss.
260
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,692
Oh. All good, bro. I think I'm lost.
261
00:09:08,694 --> 00:09:10,528
Someone up front told
me there's a bathroom
262
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:11,812
back here somewhere? Oh!
263
00:09:11,814 --> 00:09:12,980
Yeah, it's, um...
264
00:09:12,982 --> 00:09:14,698
It's right around the corner.
265
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:16,984
Wait... don't I know you?
266
00:09:16,986 --> 00:09:19,620
Oh, I don't know. Do you
hang ten at the beach?
267
00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:20,848
Totally.
268
00:09:20,873 --> 00:09:23,157
Hold up. I do know you.
269
00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:25,292
You're the guy who was dating Rebecca.
270
00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:27,545
- Y-You had a cool name... ?
- Oh,
271
00:09:27,547 --> 00:09:29,747
it's Trent. You take
out the "T," it's Rent,
272
00:09:29,749 --> 00:09:31,215
you take out the "R," it's Tent.
273
00:09:31,217 --> 00:09:33,300
It's a easy way to
remember it, you know?
274
00:09:33,302 --> 00:09:34,802
And you're...
275
00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:36,804
- Josh, right?
- Yeah.
276
00:09:36,806 --> 00:09:38,672
Wait, uh, don't you live in L.A.?
277
00:09:38,674 --> 00:09:40,508
How come you're all the way out here?
278
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,310
Uh, I've been doing some
tech consulting in Azusa,
279
00:09:43,312 --> 00:09:46,013
so lately I've just been
chillin' in the San Gabes Vals.
280
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:47,681
"San Gabes Vals"?
281
00:09:47,683 --> 00:09:49,517
Dope. Stealing that.
282
00:09:49,519 --> 00:09:51,235
All yours, bro.
283
00:09:51,237 --> 00:09:52,686
I'll see you around town, okay?
284
00:09:52,688 --> 00:09:54,855
You gonna be at Home Base
on Friday for the playoffs?
285
00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:57,470
I want to, but they priced me out.
286
00:09:57,495 --> 00:10:00,531
Bummer, man. Actually, you know what?
287
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,340
I just bought a table
for me and some clients
288
00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:03,747
on my expense account.
289
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,699
There's still room if you want to join.
290
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:08,002
I mean, I don't want to force anything,
291
00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:09,370
because if you ask me, that never works.
292
00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:10,921
Uh, can I bring my friends,
293
00:10:10,923 --> 00:10:13,340
uh... since it's on
your expensive account?
294
00:10:13,342 --> 00:10:15,759
Absolutely, Broheemius Maximus.
295
00:10:15,761 --> 00:10:17,378
- I'll see you there!
- Cool.
296
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,263
Cool. Oh, hey. On your way out,
297
00:10:19,265 --> 00:10:21,549
would you send my boss Alex back here?
298
00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:24,051
Uh, but don't tell him why. A'ight?
299
00:10:24,053 --> 00:10:26,020
A'ight. Yeah.
300
00:10:43,039 --> 00:10:45,406
Hey, Paulsy.
301
00:10:45,408 --> 00:10:46,407
Ew, no.
302
00:10:46,409 --> 00:10:47,575
That sounds wrong.
303
00:10:47,577 --> 00:10:48,742
I was wondering if you, uh,
304
00:10:48,744 --> 00:10:50,744
wanted some of my croistazzanut?
305
00:10:50,746 --> 00:10:53,581
It's a croissant, a donut and pizza.
306
00:10:53,583 --> 00:10:55,049
- Oh, oh...
- Mm?
307
00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:56,634
No, that's okay, honey, I'm not hungry.
308
00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:57,918
You know,
309
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,170
a lot of things going on.
Got a big test coming up,
310
00:10:59,172 --> 00:11:01,005
torts... you know how it is, you get it.
311
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:02,756
Yeah, um, hey,
312
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:04,923
so I was wondering
what you're up to on...
313
00:11:05,144 --> 00:11:06,927
Friday night? Um, 'cause I was,
314
00:11:06,929 --> 00:11:07,928
I was thinking you could come over,
315
00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:09,063
see my new house.
316
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,097
We've been working real hard on it.
317
00:11:10,099 --> 00:11:12,066
Oh, I mean that sounds really great,
318
00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:13,434
but, I mean, I-I've got...
319
00:11:13,436 --> 00:11:14,902
I've got the torts test, so...
320
00:11:14,904 --> 00:11:16,103
- Right.
- I mean, you know.
321
00:11:16,105 --> 00:11:17,688
But here's the thing,
322
00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:18,939
I really miss you.
323
00:11:18,941 --> 00:11:20,991
And I want you to be a part of my life
324
00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:22,826
and see everything.
325
00:11:22,828 --> 00:11:24,111
You know, I want to take you
326
00:11:24,113 --> 00:11:26,580
and all of the other wonderful
things in my life and just
327
00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:27,781
smoosh 'em together.
328
00:11:27,783 --> 00:11:29,667
Well, you know, I mean, it does,
329
00:11:29,669 --> 00:11:31,285
does sound really nice, actually.
330
00:11:31,287 --> 00:11:32,336
Yeah?
331
00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:34,121
I would love to see your new house.
332
00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,789
So... yeah, all right.
333
00:11:35,791 --> 00:11:39,176
- Oh, yay! Yay. Okay, great.
- Yay!
334
00:11:39,178 --> 00:11:40,628
Hey, so,
335
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:44,298
tell your friend Angelique
we are on for Friday night.
336
00:11:44,629 --> 00:11:47,635
- I'm throwing a sex toy party.
- You got it.
337
00:11:47,637 --> 00:11:49,129
And just to be clear,
you're not invited.
338
00:11:49,154 --> 00:11:50,870
Oh, you got it.
339
00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:55,809
We have to remember that federal courts
340
00:11:55,811 --> 00:11:57,861
in diversity actions
apply the substantive law
341
00:11:57,863 --> 00:11:59,280
of the state in which they...
342
00:11:59,282 --> 00:12:00,648
Let's just say the word.
343
00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:02,366
Rebecca is needy.
344
00:12:02,368 --> 00:12:03,817
She's M.I.A. and now
345
00:12:03,819 --> 00:12:04,868
snaps her fingers
346
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:05,903
and you just come running?
347
00:12:05,905 --> 00:12:07,655
Wow, you really don't want to study.
348
00:12:07,657 --> 00:12:09,406
I'm just trying to help you out.
349
00:12:09,408 --> 00:12:11,292
You're the one who's
jeopardizing your torts test
350
00:12:11,294 --> 00:12:12,993
by spending time with your woman child.
351
00:12:12,995 --> 00:12:14,378
Oh, and you
352
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,663
haven't even told her about
353
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,164
the decision you made and everything.
354
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,549
Yeah, well, you know,
355
00:12:18,551 --> 00:12:19,917
it's not easy to wedge an abortion
356
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:20,968
in a conversation.
357
00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:22,169
You just did it.
358
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,555
She is making time for me.
359
00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:26,006
And I am... I'm happy about it.
360
00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:27,341
And I will try to tell her, I will.
361
00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:29,176
It's just, you know, it's hard
362
00:12:29,178 --> 00:12:31,262
to tell people about
serious stuff sometimes.
363
00:12:31,264 --> 00:12:32,346
I mean, you know.
364
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,348
Wasn't it hard for you
365
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:36,400
to tell people about
your wife's suicide?
366
00:12:36,402 --> 00:12:37,660
I didn't have to.
367
00:12:37,736 --> 00:12:39,069
She left a note on Facebook.
368
00:12:39,188 --> 00:12:40,521
And this was before
369
00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:42,439
all those different "like" options,
370
00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:43,957
so people didn't know what to do.
371
00:12:48,414 --> 00:12:49,697
Okay, so,
372
00:12:49,699 --> 00:12:51,081
let me give you the grand tour...
373
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,449
- Yes...
- of the new place.
374
00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:54,501
Okay, so, over here is my bedroom.
375
00:12:54,503 --> 00:12:56,537
- Mm.
- That's Heather's bedroom over there.
376
00:12:56,539 --> 00:12:57,671
Bathroom.
377
00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:58,839
And this is our kitchen
378
00:12:58,841 --> 00:13:00,591
with brand-new appliances.
379
00:13:00,593 --> 00:13:01,625
Oh...
380
00:13:01,627 --> 00:13:02,710
you have an island.
381
00:13:02,712 --> 00:13:03,927
What are you, a Rockefeller?
382
00:13:03,929 --> 00:13:05,045
I know, right?
383
00:13:05,047 --> 00:13:06,180
- Oh, my God.
- It's so cool.
384
00:13:06,182 --> 00:13:08,382
Um, over here's our
kitchen table for food
385
00:13:08,384 --> 00:13:10,134
and heated discourse.
386
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,852
And so, yeah, the whole place is
387
00:13:11,854 --> 00:13:14,021
completely renovated, so
it's basically like new.
388
00:13:15,057 --> 00:13:16,473
Whoa.
389
00:13:16,475 --> 00:13:17,668
Wow.
390
00:13:17,693 --> 00:13:19,526
Okay, it's not that... I mean, it's...
391
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,040
yeah, it's just paint, so...
392
00:13:21,230 --> 00:13:24,231
I know this place!
393
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,617
This is where all those people were
394
00:13:26,619 --> 00:13:27,785
murd...
395
00:13:27,787 --> 00:13:29,320
Look at those sconces!
396
00:13:29,322 --> 00:13:30,821
Oh, yeah. Nice, right?
397
00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,465
So nice.
398
00:13:33,022 --> 00:13:34,805
Honey, I am so proud of you.
399
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:35,746
Oh!
400
00:13:35,828 --> 00:13:38,078
Oh...
401
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,880
And you know what? I am really glad that
402
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:42,716
we finally have the time to
just put our feet up and...
403
00:13:42,718 --> 00:13:45,419
you know, have a nice long
chat just like we used to.
404
00:13:45,421 --> 00:13:46,754
Um, so,
405
00:13:46,756 --> 00:13:49,590
chatting is fun, but you
know what else is fun?
406
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:50,924
No...
407
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:52,726
What up, biatch?
408
00:13:52,728 --> 00:13:54,094
We got the T-shirts.
409
00:13:54,096 --> 00:13:55,763
Yeah, Rebecca,
410
00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:56,980
we got you a medium.
411
00:13:56,982 --> 00:13:58,015
I wanted to get you a large because
412
00:13:58,017 --> 00:13:59,433
of your massive boobs, but...
413
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:04,188
Introducing the newest
member of our girl group,
414
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:05,840
P-P-P-Paula.
415
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:21,465
Hey, Rebecca,
416
00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:24,332
I'm gonna infiltrate your
guy friend group tonight.
417
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,531
So, when, at a future time,
you see me chillin' with them,
418
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,117
you'll think, "He's so normal,
419
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,952
I'm in love."
420
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:35,172
* It's the Trent is
getting ready song *
421
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:38,008
* The Trent is getting ready song *
422
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,960
* Trent's getting ready *
423
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,345
* Trent's getting ready *
424
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,130
* The Trent is getting ready... *
425
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,001
Crap! My back.
426
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,139
Slap, clasp, pull,
427
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,557
hit the back.
428
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,858
You can do this.
429
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,110
You're the best.
430
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:58,228
Hey, um, we're not on...
431
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,263
Hey, Trent!
432
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,482
Hey, uh, it's cool.
433
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,764
They're with me. They're with me.
434
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,821
Slap, clasp, oh, pull. Hit the back.
435
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,906
Hey.
436
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,491
- And that's how we do it.
- Cool.
437
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:11,959
Uh, well, these are my boys.
438
00:15:11,961 --> 00:15:13,544
Uh, what's up Hector and White Josh?
439
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,495
How'd you know our names?
440
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,330
Yeah, have we met?
441
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:19,466
Oh, um, I called you
White Josh because...
442
00:15:19,468 --> 00:15:22,219
you're a white person
who looks like Josh.
443
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,887
And, obviously I called you Hector
444
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,290
because...
445
00:15:25,723 --> 00:15:27,056
I'm racist.
446
00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,124
Yeah, that's right.
447
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,729
We got the table to ourselves
448
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,180
for the momento, bromentos.
449
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,103
My clients won't be here for a minute.
450
00:15:35,128 --> 00:15:37,518
You sure it's still chill that we chill?
451
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,186
Dude, of course it's
still chill that we chill.
452
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,523
Look, first, second and
third rounds are on me.
453
00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,690
Oh!
454
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:44,658
Yeah. Let's do this!
455
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,693
Dude, yeah.
456
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,278
Okay,
457
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,496
that looks great.
458
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:51,365
Paula, I'm really sorry
459
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,200
that I didn't have a blank T-shirt
460
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,835
to work with and I had
to write on the back,
461
00:15:54,837 --> 00:15:56,837
but I think it looks
great. What T-shirt is that?
462
00:15:56,839 --> 00:15:58,455
What-what T-shirt
is that? Remind me.
463
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,040
Oh, the Breast Cancer Rock and Roll
464
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,542
Walk/Run 5K, Parsipanny, New Jersey.
465
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,293
That's a great cause,
great organization.
466
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,212
Sorry, I didn't make you a shirt, Paula.
467
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,307
I-I don't know how
these girl groups work.
468
00:16:07,332 --> 00:16:08,799
Did I do something wrong?
469
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,018
No, you didn't. You're doing great.
470
00:16:11,020 --> 00:16:13,720
What happened was Rebecca
didn't tell us Paula was coming
471
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,556
or tell Paula we would be here.
472
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:16,774
- Oh...
- It's weird.
473
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:17,891
Okay.
474
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,643
There's that endearing honesty!
475
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,728
Okay,
476
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,676
who wants cocktails?
477
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,504
Hey, honey,
478
00:16:30,529 --> 00:16:33,123
um, I-I don't mean to be a wet blanket,
479
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,374
but, you know,
480
00:16:34,376 --> 00:16:35,576
I just thought that tonight was,
481
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,544
was gonna be just us and...
482
00:16:37,546 --> 00:16:39,246
you know, it's ju... I just...
483
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,145
I have so much studying
to do and I have to...
484
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:43,250
No, no, no, no, no, let me cut you off
right there. Please don't leave.
485
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,585
Please don't leave, it's-it's...
486
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,788
It's so important to
me that you be here,
487
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:50,507
okay? And I know why
you're a little weirded out.
488
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,559
I didn't tell you that they'd be here
489
00:16:52,561 --> 00:16:55,095
because I knew you'd...
You'd make your face.
490
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,764
That face. Just give me an hour.
491
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,433
One hour, okay? And if we're not all,
492
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,518
like, totally blood sisters by then,
493
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,903
you can leave, no hard feelings.
494
00:17:02,905 --> 00:17:03,684
Okay?
495
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,439
- Okay, okay.
- Great!
496
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,740
Okay, great.
497
00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:08,075
All right.
498
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,611
Oh...
499
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,412
Who's ready to slightly
poison their bodies
500
00:17:12,414 --> 00:17:15,415
and create an artificial
sense of warmth and well-being?
501
00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:16,533
Okay...
502
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,668
Yeah, isn't this great?
503
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,785
I don't know.
504
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:20,496
Paula seems a little uncomfortable.
505
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,089
Yeah! Okay, let's, uh...
506
00:17:22,091 --> 00:17:23,540
Let's all... Let's all take a selfie.
507
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,708
Let's take a selfie,
let's take a selfie!
508
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,626
Okay. Let's do it.
509
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,627
- A selfie!
- Okay, everyone get in.
510
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,794
Chin down. Okay, okay.
511
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,012
Okay, pucker face.
512
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:29,963
- Mm?
- Okay.
513
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,298
All right, Paula, Paula, just go...
514
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,716
- Find your lens, Paula.
- No, I can't... Just go...
515
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,518
Only your boob is in the lens.
516
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,552
Okay, you can only...
Yeah, you know what?
517
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:36,637
Here. And...
518
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,688
Oh.
519
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,223
Smile. Done.
520
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,192
It's good.
521
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,566
You saw it, too, huh?
522
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,318
What? No. What?
523
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,059
Another girl squad photo.
524
00:17:54,084 --> 00:17:55,284
I'm so sad.
525
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,241
I want to be gal pals with Rebecca.
526
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,243
She makes me think
women can have it all.
527
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,378
Hey, Maya, has anyone ever told you
528
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,496
that your voice sounds like
529
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,830
a mouse with throat cancer
530
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:07,918
talking into a little,
tiny mouse voice box?
531
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,419
Do you get that a lot?
532
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:10,804
What? No.
533
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:12,806
I-I've never heard that
before, but I-I'm sorry,
534
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:14,641
I didn't mean to bother you,
535
00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:16,393
I'm just really sad that
I'm not at Rebecca's house
536
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:17,511
for the fun party.
537
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,346
Sweetheart, listen to me,
538
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,931
you can't force a friendship.
539
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,015
Everyone knows that.
540
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,350
But what if you and I team up
541
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,371
and we find a way into that party?
542
00:18:25,742 --> 00:18:27,325
Me? Team up with you?
543
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,190
That's just ridiculous.
544
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,826
I would have to be pretty desperate.
545
00:18:35,651 --> 00:18:37,400
What'd you have in mind?
546
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,066
Nothing yet.
547
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,704
Okay, so, to refresh, it goes...
548
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,039
* This song goes
in a loop Dee loop *
549
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,374
* It starts at the end *
550
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,126
* And it ends at the start *
551
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,044
* Of this song goes
in a loop Dee loop. *
552
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,296
Do you like it?
553
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,880
I-I-I made it up in
the shower this morning.
554
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,265
I really think it could be
555
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,434
the new "John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt." Okay,
556
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,435
you-you want to try it with me?
557
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:00,887
* This song goes
in a loop Dee loop *
558
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,363
* I think I need a
noose Dee noose. *
559
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,527
Paula.
560
00:19:07,529 --> 00:19:10,564
You put your own spin
on it, and that's fun.
561
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:13,734
Thank God.
562
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,152
Ladies,
563
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,903
get ready, because I
have a surprise for you.
564
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,405
I think you're really gonna like it.
565
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,623
Paula, you especially.
566
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,293
Strap yourselves in
567
00:19:21,318 --> 00:19:23,076
for the naughtiest ride of your life.
568
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,295
Ladies and...
569
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,165
ladies, may I present to you...
570
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,916
Angelique!
571
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,596
Oh, God!
572
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,431
I got to be friends with Karen, too?
573
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,600
Karen, what are you doing here?
574
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,268
Where's... where's
your friend Angelique?
575
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,270
Karen? Who is Karen?
576
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:53,191
Je suis Angelique!
577
00:20:07,465 --> 00:20:09,848
Yes! Yes, come on! Yes!
578
00:20:09,850 --> 00:20:11,483
Yes, yes! Come on! Yes.
579
00:20:11,485 --> 00:20:12,568
Come on, defense!
580
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,652
Come on, defense!
581
00:20:13,654 --> 00:20:15,354
God, I'm hungry. God, I'm hungry.
582
00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:19,107
So, what are we doing after this, guys?
583
00:20:19,973 --> 00:20:22,161
Aren't you going to be
hanging with your clients?
584
00:20:22,163 --> 00:20:23,612
What? No.
585
00:20:23,614 --> 00:20:25,426
I just got a text.
586
00:20:25,783 --> 00:20:27,699
- They're dead.
- Uh...
587
00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:28,834
uh, what?
588
00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:29,785
What?
589
00:20:29,787 --> 00:20:32,871
To me.
590
00:20:32,873 --> 00:20:34,122
Classic Trent.
591
00:20:34,124 --> 00:20:35,791
Just joking around.
592
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,020
They're dead to me
because they bailed on me.
593
00:20:38,348 --> 00:20:40,416
But we would never do
that to each other, right?
594
00:20:40,441 --> 00:20:41,996
I mean, bros for life.
595
00:20:42,653 --> 00:20:43,936
You hungry, Hector?
596
00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:45,754
Hector, you're hungry.
597
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,369
Um, what do you want? Chicken wings?
598
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,787
Everyone want a chicken wing?
599
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,122
Yeah?
600
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,373
Well, what I'm gonna do right now
601
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,374
is get us a basket
602
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:54,509
full of four chicken wings.
603
00:20:54,511 --> 00:20:56,628
Okay, four chicken wings for my friends.
604
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,875
Love the free stuff,
but this is not worth it.
605
00:21:00,877 --> 00:21:03,161
Yeah, he is real strange.
606
00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:04,746
Pretty sure he murdered those clients.
607
00:21:05,882 --> 00:21:07,465
Sorry, just Anna texted me a picture
608
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,167
of a cat dressed up like
a dog. Oh, my God.
609
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:11,753
Where does she find this stuff?
610
00:21:13,507 --> 00:21:16,816
Okay, so we're looking for
something that says we're fun
611
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,676
and that we're gonna bring the party
612
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:19,844
up a notch.
613
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,096
So, what can we bring?
614
00:21:21,098 --> 00:21:23,398
Hmm? Now, there are no bad ideas.
615
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,400
This is a safe space.
616
00:21:25,402 --> 00:21:26,935
We could bring a pineapple.
617
00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:27,902
A pineapple?!
618
00:21:27,904 --> 00:21:28,937
You want us to show up
619
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,481
at a party with a damn pineapple?
620
00:21:30,506 --> 00:21:32,607
Well, you didn't let me finish.
621
00:21:32,609 --> 00:21:34,743
I read this cool thing
where you take the pineapple
622
00:21:34,745 --> 00:21:36,778
and you soak it in rum overnight...
623
00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:38,029
oh, shoot.
624
00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:40,331
Mm, mm-mm,
mm-mm.
625
00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:44,786
This is a particularly
naughty little device.
626
00:21:44,788 --> 00:21:46,512
Ta-da!
627
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,256
Is that a claw?
628
00:21:48,258 --> 00:21:49,174
Yes.
629
00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:50,842
And a drainage hose?
630
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,223
- Oui.
- And those are suction cups?
631
00:21:53,248 --> 00:21:55,930
Oui, oui.
632
00:21:55,932 --> 00:21:59,350
Looks like Rube Goldberg
got naughty, am I right?
633
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,219
It's held on to your special
634
00:22:01,221 --> 00:22:04,389
area with a small,
machine washable belt.
635
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:06,941
You walk around with it
636
00:22:06,943 --> 00:22:08,059
all day long.
637
00:22:08,061 --> 00:22:09,227
No one knows.
638
00:22:09,229 --> 00:22:10,676
Hmm? Then,
639
00:22:10,701 --> 00:22:17,212
around midday, your hubby gives
you a little remote zippity zap.
640
00:22:19,951 --> 00:22:21,734
Kablow.
641
00:22:21,895 --> 00:22:23,228
You just clapped your monkey
642
00:22:23,230 --> 00:22:24,729
in the middle of a business meeting.
643
00:22:26,116 --> 00:22:27,899
"Oh, I'm sorry, work superior,
644
00:22:27,901 --> 00:22:29,401
"but my badass hubby
645
00:22:29,403 --> 00:22:32,207
just made me kablookie in my pantsuit."
646
00:22:32,739 --> 00:22:35,073
Everyone knows what I'm
talking about, right?
647
00:22:35,075 --> 00:22:36,791
Wait, are you... what-what...
are you listening?
648
00:22:36,793 --> 00:22:38,460
No, I'm just... I'm texting
Scott about the kids.
649
00:22:38,462 --> 00:22:39,911
Okay, okay.
650
00:22:39,913 --> 00:22:44,382
And the best part... it's only $175.
651
00:22:44,384 --> 00:22:45,467
Hmm.
652
00:22:45,469 --> 00:22:46,918
And it's made in America.
653
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,086
Here, touch.
654
00:22:48,088 --> 00:22:49,888
Oh. Mm, no.
655
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,339
You have my consent.
656
00:22:51,341 --> 00:22:52,424
Touch it.
657
00:22:52,426 --> 00:22:53,925
Here, touch it, touch it.
658
00:22:53,927 --> 00:22:55,060
Touch it!
659
00:22:55,062 --> 00:22:56,978
Okay.
660
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,146
W-W-W-Wait, you're
not leaving, are you?
661
00:22:58,148 --> 00:22:59,681
No, no, no, no, I'm just...
662
00:22:59,683 --> 00:23:00,932
I'm going to pee. Okay,
'cause the products
663
00:23:00,934 --> 00:23:02,233
are actually really good quality.
664
00:23:02,235 --> 00:23:04,436
Okay. Once it's locked
665
00:23:04,438 --> 00:23:06,104
onto the cervix, that's
when the fun really starts.
666
00:23:06,106 --> 00:23:07,739
It may take a few minutes,
667
00:23:07,741 --> 00:23:09,274
- but you just have to dig around...
- Time out.
668
00:23:09,276 --> 00:23:10,659
Guys. Karen.
669
00:23:10,661 --> 00:23:12,277
Je suis Angelique.
670
00:23:12,279 --> 00:23:14,779
Fine. Paula's not having enough fun.
671
00:23:14,781 --> 00:23:17,248
Okay? She's not blending
seamlessly into our group.
672
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:20,001
We need to include her
more in our friendtopia.
673
00:23:20,003 --> 00:23:20,952
Friendtatorship?
674
00:23:20,954 --> 00:23:22,370
No, I prefer friendtopia.
675
00:23:22,372 --> 00:23:24,422
She just doesn't want
to be part of the group.
676
00:23:24,424 --> 00:23:25,757
You shouldn't, like, force it.
677
00:23:25,759 --> 00:23:26,791
I'm not forcing,
678
00:23:26,793 --> 00:23:28,126
I'm aggressively facilitating.
679
00:23:28,128 --> 00:23:29,461
She needs our help.
680
00:23:29,463 --> 00:23:30,845
Help!
681
00:23:30,847 --> 00:23:31,930
Do you hear that?
682
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:33,965
She is literally calling
683
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,133
for female group solidarity.
684
00:23:35,135 --> 00:23:36,134
I will be right there.
685
00:23:36,136 --> 00:23:37,802
Lock is jammed!
686
00:23:37,804 --> 00:23:40,059
- I can't get out. I'm stuck. Help!
- Okay, stand back.
687
00:23:40,084 --> 00:23:41,700
Girl group to the rescue!
688
00:23:41,725 --> 00:23:42,724
Zig-a-zow!
689
00:23:42,726 --> 00:23:44,192
Oh, geez.
690
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,289
Get me out of here.
691
00:24:11,392 --> 00:24:13,759
I am trying.
692
00:24:16,317 --> 00:24:19,652
* Paula's stuck in the bathroom *
693
00:24:19,654 --> 00:24:22,238
* This night was
already super weird *
694
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,291
* And now she's stuck
in the bathroom *
695
00:24:25,293 --> 00:24:27,076
* Whoever renovated this house *
696
00:24:27,078 --> 00:24:29,579
* Did a terrible job *
697
00:24:29,581 --> 00:24:33,416
* Valencia walks up
to the beam and says *
698
00:24:33,418 --> 00:24:35,246
* I can try *
699
00:24:35,271 --> 00:24:37,721
* I have a deceptive amount
of muscular strength *
700
00:24:37,746 --> 00:24:40,816
* Due to my amazing core *
701
00:24:42,844 --> 00:24:46,095
- * Ooh, ooh *
- * Paula calls out from the bathroom *
702
00:24:46,097 --> 00:24:47,513
* Her little bird arms *
703
00:24:47,515 --> 00:24:49,181
* Are not gonna do anything *
704
00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,399
* Ooh *
705
00:24:50,401 --> 00:24:52,435
- * Then I step up and I'm like *
- * Ooh *
706
00:24:52,437 --> 00:24:54,353
- * I'll try *
- * Ooh *
707
00:24:54,355 --> 00:24:58,407
* My second sophomore year
I took a kinesiology class *
708
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,276
- * That's college for gym *
- * Ooh *
709
00:25:01,946 --> 00:25:04,330
* Nothing happens *
710
00:25:04,332 --> 00:25:05,831
* Then we all look over at Karen *
711
00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:07,033
* The kind of deranged woman *
712
00:25:07,035 --> 00:25:08,284
* Who's pretending to be *
713
00:25:08,286 --> 00:25:09,251
* Some French chick *
714
00:25:09,253 --> 00:25:10,670
* Ooh *
715
00:25:10,672 --> 00:25:12,672
- * Karen says *
- * Ooh *
716
00:25:12,674 --> 00:25:14,006
* Sorry, Angelique *
717
00:25:14,008 --> 00:25:16,792
* Has an epigastric hernia *
718
00:25:16,794 --> 00:25:17,927
- * Ooh *
- Gross.
719
00:25:17,929 --> 00:25:19,378
* Ooh *
720
00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:20,796
* I've had enough so I say *
721
00:25:20,798 --> 00:25:22,465
- * We need to call someone *
- * Ooh *
722
00:25:22,467 --> 00:25:24,133
- * She's stuck in the bathroom *
- * Ooh *
723
00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:26,218
- * She's stuck in the bathroom *
- * Ooh *
724
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,721
* Let's call 911 *
725
00:25:28,723 --> 00:25:31,107
* Wow, I can't believe
it took us that long *
726
00:25:31,109 --> 00:25:34,110
* To come up with the
most obvious solution *
727
00:25:34,112 --> 00:25:36,896
- * Kind of embarrassing *
- * Ooh *
728
00:25:36,898 --> 00:25:38,948
- * Now Rebecca jumps and shouts *
- * Ooh *
729
00:25:38,950 --> 00:25:41,233
* Yes! Yes! Hang in there, Paula *
730
00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:43,869
- * We're gonna get you out *
- * Ooh, ooh *
731
00:25:43,871 --> 00:25:46,489
- * And she runs over to the phone *
- * Ooh *
732
00:25:46,491 --> 00:25:48,374
- * Panicking *
- * Ooh *
733
00:25:48,376 --> 00:25:52,461
* Meanwhile, Paula's still
stuck in the bathroom. *
734
00:25:52,463 --> 00:25:55,264
- Shh, I'm on the phone.
- Sorry.
735
00:25:55,266 --> 00:25:57,583
So, I was thinking, what
about a weekend away?
736
00:25:57,585 --> 00:25:59,239
Right? Like a bro surf weekend?
737
00:25:59,264 --> 00:26:00,739
Whatever you guys are into.
738
00:26:00,764 --> 00:26:02,264
You guys roller skate?
739
00:26:03,106 --> 00:26:04,263
Psych.
740
00:26:04,288 --> 00:26:05,925
I know it's not cool.
741
00:26:05,927 --> 00:26:07,259
I've grown out of it.
742
00:26:07,261 --> 00:26:08,277
Look, blades, though, right?
743
00:26:08,279 --> 00:26:10,262
And jackets with wings
744
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:11,817
because, wait for it...
745
00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:15,252
we are the Chicken Wing Boys.
746
00:26:15,277 --> 00:26:16,485
Ca-caw!
747
00:26:16,487 --> 00:26:18,270
- Okay, I'm done.
- Yeah.
748
00:26:18,295 --> 00:26:20,216
- I'm out, too.
- What? Wait, you can't leave.
749
00:26:20,241 --> 00:26:22,074
The game's not even in its last part.
750
00:26:22,076 --> 00:26:24,427
Uh, we'll just listen to it
on the radio in the car...
751
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,836
or anywhere else. Come on.
752
00:26:26,861 --> 00:26:28,360
She called me boo.
753
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:29,949
She called me boo!
754
00:26:29,951 --> 00:26:31,617
- I'm so in!
- Come on, boo.
755
00:26:31,619 --> 00:26:32,864
Ow!
756
00:26:32,889 --> 00:26:34,503
Um, thanks for all the free stuff, Tent.
757
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:35,921
I mean, um, Rent.
758
00:26:36,204 --> 00:26:38,738
Uh, honestly, man, it makes it harder.
759
00:26:39,144 --> 00:26:40,599
Wait, wait!
760
00:26:40,624 --> 00:26:42,757
Bros, stay. Chill!
761
00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:46,682
My boos!
762
00:26:49,387 --> 00:26:51,637
Guys, I really need to sell something.
763
00:26:51,639 --> 00:26:53,528
At least buy some lube.
764
00:26:53,553 --> 00:26:54,835
It's great.
765
00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:56,660
I even use it as hand lotion,
766
00:26:56,685 --> 00:26:58,135
which is why I'm always dropping things.
767
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,076
And... it's edible.
768
00:27:00,481 --> 00:27:02,148
- Oh, oh!
- Please don't...
769
00:27:02,150 --> 00:27:04,316
Oh!
770
00:27:06,287 --> 00:27:08,704
- Oh!
- Oh, God, Karen.
771
00:27:08,823 --> 00:27:10,656
You know what, I'm out of here.
772
00:27:10,658 --> 00:27:13,826
You guys are cheapskates
and you not fun.
773
00:27:14,571 --> 00:27:17,372
Au revoir, losers.
774
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,389
Paula, Paula,
775
00:27:27,391 --> 00:27:29,091
I'm so sorry.
776
00:27:29,093 --> 00:27:30,987
I'm so sorry about the beams,
777
00:27:30,989 --> 00:27:34,323
about Karen, everything, but the
fire department is on its way.
778
00:27:34,348 --> 00:27:35,848
Okay? Um, if you get hungry,
779
00:27:35,850 --> 00:27:37,316
there's a Snickers in
that medicine cabinet.
780
00:27:37,318 --> 00:27:38,267
It's my bath Snickers.
781
00:27:38,269 --> 00:27:39,852
And I-I'll text Scott
782
00:27:39,854 --> 00:27:41,270
and-and tell him what's happened.
783
00:27:41,272 --> 00:27:43,522
- Okay.
- Um, I don't have his number.
784
00:27:43,524 --> 00:27:45,324
Uh, okay, um, I'll text
him from your phone.
785
00:27:46,596 --> 00:27:47,827
No... you... hey!
786
00:27:47,829 --> 00:27:48,828
Don't... uh... I...
787
00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:49,862
I'll just text him
788
00:27:49,864 --> 00:27:51,330
when I get out of here, so...
789
00:27:51,332 --> 00:27:52,364
No, it's fine.
790
00:27:52,366 --> 00:27:53,699
Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
791
00:27:53,701 --> 00:27:55,251
Hey, j-just don't worry about it.
792
00:27:55,253 --> 00:27:57,369
Just-Just-Just
put my phone down!
793
00:27:57,371 --> 00:28:00,256
It feels like Paula is trying
to hide something
794
00:28:00,258 --> 00:28:02,041
from Rebecca that is on her phone.
795
00:28:02,043 --> 00:28:03,542
Is this part of what girls do?
796
00:28:03,544 --> 00:28:04,838
- Should I be giggling?
- No.
797
00:28:04,863 --> 00:28:08,297
Yeah, so I'm definitely gonna
look at your phone now, Paula.
798
00:28:08,299 --> 00:28:10,015
Luckily, I know your pass-code.
799
00:28:10,017 --> 00:28:11,050
Oh, my God, I've got
800
00:28:11,052 --> 00:28:12,384
to change my privacy settings.
801
00:28:12,386 --> 00:28:13,769
Just stop!
802
00:28:18,495 --> 00:28:20,442
Hey, ladies, do you want to know why
803
00:28:20,444 --> 00:28:22,061
Paula didn't want me
to look at her phone?
804
00:28:22,063 --> 00:28:23,062
This is actually...
805
00:28:23,064 --> 00:28:25,030
really funny. Um...
806
00:28:25,032 --> 00:28:27,616
so, Paula texted her
friend from law school,
807
00:28:27,618 --> 00:28:29,118
Sunil, uh, quote...
808
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:32,899
"Help! I'm having the worst
night of my life!" Unquote
809
00:28:32,924 --> 00:28:34,907
Okay, Rebecca, you put that phone down
810
00:28:34,909 --> 00:28:35,908
because you are
811
00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:37,409
violating the 2012 California
812
00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:39,411
- Electronic Privacy Act!
- Oh!
813
00:28:39,413 --> 00:28:41,080
Sorry, there's actually, there's more.
814
00:28:41,082 --> 00:28:43,666
This part's, like... this
is when it gets really funny.
815
00:28:43,668 --> 00:28:45,371
Um, she then says, uh,
816
00:28:45,396 --> 00:28:48,064
for him to come rescue her
817
00:28:48,089 --> 00:28:50,589
and then, "Quick, make
up some story to get me
818
00:28:50,591 --> 00:28:52,284
the hell out of here."
819
00:28:54,762 --> 00:28:57,179
- N-No.
- No? Oh.
820
00:28:57,181 --> 00:28:58,814
Texts like these, like, bitchy texts,
821
00:28:58,816 --> 00:29:00,166
you used to send these to me.
822
00:29:02,438 --> 00:29:05,773
You know, Paula, I was agonizing
823
00:29:05,798 --> 00:29:08,599
over whether or not you'd
felt like I'd replaced you...
824
00:29:10,027 --> 00:29:11,901
... but now I realize
825
00:29:11,926 --> 00:29:13,612
I'm the one who's been replaced.
826
00:29:15,411 --> 00:29:17,846
And you know, you never even
gave this night a chance.
827
00:29:18,604 --> 00:29:20,103
You never even tried.
828
00:29:27,991 --> 00:29:29,240
Surf Shop Lady.
829
00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:32,557
Super small world, the San Gabes Vals.
830
00:29:32,625 --> 00:29:33,718
Hey, yeah.
831
00:29:33,743 --> 00:29:35,659
How did your bro plan work out?
832
00:29:36,053 --> 00:29:38,470
Didn't. You were right.
833
00:29:38,472 --> 00:29:39,972
Forcing friendships is stupid.
834
00:29:39,974 --> 00:29:41,223
And now the girl that I love
835
00:29:41,225 --> 00:29:43,475
will never have a
chance to love me back.
836
00:29:43,477 --> 00:29:45,311
Oh, my God.
837
00:29:45,313 --> 00:29:46,562
Oh!
838
00:29:46,564 --> 00:29:48,113
You were doing this for a girl?
839
00:29:48,115 --> 00:29:50,455
Sweetie, why didn't you tell me that?
840
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,985
Oh, that is so nice.
841
00:29:52,987 --> 00:29:54,286
Oh, I'm gonna cry.
842
00:29:54,288 --> 00:29:55,705
Really? You think it's sweet?
843
00:29:55,730 --> 00:29:58,657
Forcing friendships is weird
but forcing love is so romantic.
844
00:29:58,659 --> 00:30:00,542
You got to force love.
Everybody knows that.
845
00:30:00,544 --> 00:30:01,961
Look at Prince Charming.
846
00:30:01,963 --> 00:30:03,877
He made a whole country try on a shoe.
847
00:30:04,332 --> 00:30:06,932
So... where is she?
848
00:30:06,957 --> 00:30:08,456
The girl that you love?
849
00:30:08,721 --> 00:30:12,370
- I don't know, probably at home.
- Then what are you doing here?
850
00:30:12,395 --> 00:30:13,895
Go to her now. Run.
851
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,510
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, go!
852
00:30:15,535 --> 00:30:17,036
Okay, all right.
853
00:30:17,061 --> 00:30:19,345
Go get your Cinderella!
854
00:30:21,599 --> 00:30:22,681
So, you couldn't even
855
00:30:22,683 --> 00:30:23,849
tell me to my face
856
00:30:23,851 --> 00:30:25,351
that you wanted to leave?
857
00:30:25,353 --> 00:30:26,769
Great.
858
00:30:28,643 --> 00:30:33,025
- Um... I'll get it.
- Oh, wonder who that is. Hmm?
859
00:30:33,027 --> 00:30:35,611
N...
860
00:30:36,174 --> 00:30:38,447
Hi, is Paula here?
861
00:30:38,449 --> 00:30:40,082
Uh, I'm Sunil, Paula's friend.
862
00:30:40,084 --> 00:30:42,784
Paula, the dude you sent those
mean texts to about us is here.
863
00:30:42,809 --> 00:30:45,176
Yes, I have to tell her something.
864
00:30:45,941 --> 00:30:47,808
You won't believe what happened.
865
00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:50,083
I can barely catch my breath.
866
00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:52,764
I just came to tell Paula that Timmy...
867
00:30:52,789 --> 00:30:55,362
Tommy stepped on a nail
and has tetanus already
868
00:30:55,387 --> 00:30:57,241
and has to be hospitalized.
869
00:30:58,638 --> 00:30:59,770
So, that wasn't even
870
00:30:59,795 --> 00:31:02,412
almost a good lie.
871
00:31:02,437 --> 00:31:04,721
Um, you sound like you're playing Pepper
872
00:31:04,746 --> 00:31:06,412
in a road company of Annie.
873
00:31:06,437 --> 00:31:08,971
Excuse me, I have a degree in theater.
874
00:31:09,230 --> 00:31:10,312
If you did,
875
00:31:10,314 --> 00:31:11,697
you would know that
876
00:31:11,699 --> 00:31:13,649
a road company, aka a national tour,
877
00:31:13,651 --> 00:31:16,065
is a very sought after engagement.
878
00:31:16,067 --> 00:31:18,120
Rebecca, I am so sorry.
879
00:31:18,145 --> 00:31:19,905
- Paula!
- Oh.
880
00:31:19,907 --> 00:31:21,907
- What happened?
- Later!
881
00:31:21,909 --> 00:31:24,076
You know what? Don't
apologize to me, Paula.
882
00:31:24,078 --> 00:31:25,244
'Cause when the firemen get here
883
00:31:25,246 --> 00:31:26,295
and get you out, you won't have to be
884
00:31:26,297 --> 00:31:27,796
friends with me anymore.
885
00:31:36,206 --> 00:31:38,283
- We could dress like caterers.
- No.
886
00:31:38,308 --> 00:31:39,941
And do you want me to give
you a list of the reasons
887
00:31:39,943 --> 00:31:41,143
why that's not gonna work?
888
00:31:41,745 --> 00:31:43,361
I can't do this anymore.
889
00:31:43,627 --> 00:31:46,064
- I'm exhausted.
- Exhausted?
890
00:31:46,066 --> 00:31:47,482
We have a mission.
891
00:31:47,484 --> 00:31:48,984
Show a little grit.
892
00:31:48,986 --> 00:31:51,069
What are you, a man or a mouse?
893
00:31:51,071 --> 00:31:52,571
Huh? Well, I know the answer to that.
894
00:31:52,573 --> 00:31:54,623
I see your little mouse paws.
895
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:57,409
Oh, I'm nocturnal, but I'm still tired.
896
00:31:58,629 --> 00:32:00,439
Darryl, stop it, okay?
897
00:32:00,464 --> 00:32:01,797
I've had enough of you bullying me.
898
00:32:01,799 --> 00:32:04,132
You've done it ever since I got here.
899
00:32:04,134 --> 00:32:06,268
I'm nice, I work hard and I'm smart.
900
00:32:06,270 --> 00:32:09,054
The fact that my boss picks on
me is making me worse at my job
901
00:32:09,056 --> 00:32:11,139
and negatively impacting my health.
902
00:32:12,643 --> 00:32:15,193
You've created a
hostile work environment.
903
00:32:15,955 --> 00:32:18,864
Oh. I mean, I was just... teasing.
904
00:32:18,866 --> 00:32:20,365
No, you weren't.
905
00:32:20,367 --> 00:32:22,200
You don't like me
906
00:32:22,202 --> 00:32:23,985
and I want to know why.
907
00:32:25,205 --> 00:32:26,872
Well, I don't know.
908
00:32:26,874 --> 00:32:28,651
I don't know.
909
00:32:29,293 --> 00:32:30,459
Yes, I do know.
910
00:32:30,461 --> 00:32:31,576
Because you remind me of somebody
911
00:32:31,578 --> 00:32:33,712
I'm very uncomfortable with.
912
00:32:33,714 --> 00:32:35,831
Me, myself and I.
913
00:32:36,338 --> 00:32:37,737
Really?
914
00:32:38,088 --> 00:32:40,385
You're overeager,
desperate to be included,
915
00:32:40,387 --> 00:32:41,670
forcing yourself on people,
916
00:32:41,672 --> 00:32:43,472
and I don't like that about myself,
917
00:32:43,474 --> 00:32:45,223
And when I see it on someone else,
918
00:32:45,225 --> 00:32:46,808
I find it even more repulsive.
919
00:32:47,184 --> 00:32:48,697
I'm sorry.
920
00:32:49,090 --> 00:32:50,236
I'm sorry.
921
00:32:50,764 --> 00:32:54,010
But... it's not your fault, I swear.
922
00:32:54,735 --> 00:32:56,268
Whatever your next idea is,
923
00:32:56,270 --> 00:32:57,602
that's what we're gonna do.
924
00:32:57,604 --> 00:32:58,854
Do you mean it?
925
00:32:58,856 --> 00:33:00,549
'Cause this one's really good.
926
00:33:04,495 --> 00:33:08,830
Sorry, I haven't worked out since birth,
927
00:33:08,832 --> 00:33:10,582
so this isn't gonna work.
928
00:33:10,584 --> 00:33:12,334
Somebody get me out of here!
929
00:33:12,336 --> 00:33:14,202
- Maybe if we all work together.
- Yeah.
930
00:33:14,204 --> 00:33:16,505
Oh, oh, so now you want
everyone to be together
931
00:33:16,507 --> 00:33:18,540
and do together things?
932
00:33:19,710 --> 00:33:21,376
Well, firemen are here, Paula,
933
00:33:21,378 --> 00:33:23,378
so your wish is granted, you can leave.
934
00:33:24,715 --> 00:33:26,381
Trent?
935
00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,600
Rebecca, I'm here.
936
00:33:28,602 --> 00:33:30,552
I am here to tell you
937
00:33:30,554 --> 00:33:32,304
how I feel about you.
938
00:33:32,862 --> 00:33:34,689
And I'm not gonna wait another minute.
939
00:33:34,691 --> 00:33:37,392
Trent, you weirdo-face, put me down!
940
00:33:37,394 --> 00:33:40,228
Although, you just scooped me up
like I was a basket of muffins.
941
00:33:40,230 --> 00:33:41,446
But put me down!
942
00:33:41,448 --> 00:33:42,647
What are you doing here?
943
00:33:42,649 --> 00:33:44,616
I'm here to make you try on a shoe.
944
00:33:45,786 --> 00:33:47,307
Dude, what?
945
00:33:47,332 --> 00:33:50,082
Keep talking, guys, still
stuck in the bathroom.
946
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,623
- Oh, God.
- What?
947
00:33:51,625 --> 00:33:52,874
Wait, what's the problem?
948
00:33:52,876 --> 00:33:54,376
Well, Paula's stuck in there
949
00:33:54,378 --> 00:33:55,827
and we've been waiting for the firemen
950
00:33:55,829 --> 00:33:57,295
for, like, a long time.
951
00:33:57,297 --> 00:33:59,247
Typical girl group stuff, right?
952
00:33:59,249 --> 00:34:00,526
No.
953
00:34:00,636 --> 00:34:03,053
There's no need for a fireman.
954
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:05,058
Step aside, ladies.
955
00:34:05,083 --> 00:34:06,862
We're not in your way.
956
00:34:08,258 --> 00:34:10,308
- You just...
- Whoa.
957
00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:11,510
Got to force it.
958
00:34:17,674 --> 00:34:19,017
Here, here, here, here, here.
959
00:34:19,019 --> 00:34:19,985
Oh, oh.
960
00:34:19,987 --> 00:34:23,271
I got you, I got you.
961
00:34:23,273 --> 00:34:25,524
See, you can force construction stuff,
962
00:34:25,526 --> 00:34:27,409
but not, like, friend stuff.
963
00:34:29,307 --> 00:34:31,552
Wow, okay, so, Trent's
here. Why's Trent here?
964
00:34:31,577 --> 00:34:33,110
You know what? Don't tell me.
965
00:34:33,135 --> 00:34:35,116
Just whatever nonsense is
going on between the two of you,
966
00:34:35,118 --> 00:34:36,835
now, I just... you know
what? I don't want to know.
967
00:34:36,837 --> 00:34:37,698
Come on, Sunil.
968
00:34:37,723 --> 00:34:39,314
Yes, we have to go get Tommy
969
00:34:39,339 --> 00:34:41,456
before he's killed with tetanus.
970
00:34:41,458 --> 00:34:44,593
No, no, no! You are not leaving.
971
00:34:44,595 --> 00:34:46,344
We need to talk.
972
00:34:47,073 --> 00:34:48,296
Now, you have been
973
00:34:48,298 --> 00:34:51,016
rude to me and everybody
here this whole night.
974
00:34:51,424 --> 00:34:54,853
And... really makes me angry
'cause I did this all for you.
975
00:34:55,002 --> 00:34:57,174
You did all this... for me?
976
00:34:57,199 --> 00:34:59,891
I sensed that you were feeling
left out of my friend group,
977
00:34:59,893 --> 00:35:01,643
and so I wanted to include you.
978
00:35:01,645 --> 00:35:04,446
No, uh, you just wanted to feel better
979
00:35:04,448 --> 00:35:05,897
about abandoning our friendship.
980
00:35:05,899 --> 00:35:07,949
You moved on from us as friends,
981
00:35:07,951 --> 00:35:10,952
which is fine, but just admit it.
982
00:35:10,954 --> 00:35:13,455
So, I've moved on from you?
983
00:35:13,457 --> 00:35:15,657
What's going on with,
uh, your palsy-walsyness
984
00:35:15,659 --> 00:35:17,542
with Daughter #5 from Fiddler?
985
00:35:17,544 --> 00:35:19,711
She has a name, it's Bielke.
986
00:35:19,713 --> 00:35:21,997
- She's a principal character.
- Why is he always
987
00:35:21,999 --> 00:35:23,882
- talking about his theater major?
- Because...
988
00:35:23,884 --> 00:35:25,717
I know many theater majors.
989
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,637
They don't bring it up, they just are.
990
00:35:28,639 --> 00:35:32,007
Also, you want to talk
Fiddler sisters, bro?
991
00:35:32,009 --> 00:35:35,093
We got Tzeitel, Hodel, Chava, Shprintze.
992
00:35:35,095 --> 00:35:36,595
And I'm not a theater major,
993
00:35:36,597 --> 00:35:38,597
I've just seen the show a couple times.
994
00:35:38,599 --> 00:35:40,932
- Oy, no one cares!
- He does.
995
00:35:40,934 --> 00:35:42,484
Hey, Rebecca.
996
00:35:42,486 --> 00:35:44,519
For the past few months,
997
00:35:44,521 --> 00:35:47,689
every time I wanted to talk to
you, you were too busy for me.
998
00:35:47,691 --> 00:35:49,741
Uh-uh, no, that's not
true, that's not true.
999
00:35:49,743 --> 00:35:51,493
- Oh...
- That's not true.
1000
00:35:51,495 --> 00:35:53,828
I spent hours on that letter
of recommendation for you.
1001
00:35:53,830 --> 00:35:55,780
Yes, and when did you give it to me?
1002
00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:58,427
When did you put it in my hand?
1003
00:35:58,452 --> 00:36:00,285
After the deadline.
1004
00:36:01,371 --> 00:36:03,088
But-but...
1005
00:36:03,090 --> 00:36:04,873
you said it was really good.
1006
00:36:04,875 --> 00:36:06,625
That's like saying a birthday
cake is better the next day.
1007
00:36:06,627 --> 00:36:08,543
Which it famously is!
1008
00:36:08,545 --> 00:36:11,096
Admit it, our relationship
has always been one-sided.
1009
00:36:11,098 --> 00:36:12,464
I give, you take.
1010
00:36:12,466 --> 00:36:13,882
And that is how it works.
1011
00:36:13,884 --> 00:36:15,767
That's not fair, that's not fair.
1012
00:36:15,769 --> 00:36:17,385
That hurts me.
1013
00:36:17,643 --> 00:36:19,938
You've never been there
for me when I need you.
1014
00:36:19,940 --> 00:36:21,723
Yes, I have been.
Just the other day I...
1015
00:36:21,725 --> 00:36:23,224
I came to your house when you were,
1016
00:36:23,226 --> 00:36:25,026
you were sick with the flu or whatever.
1017
00:36:25,028 --> 00:36:26,728
- You didn't tell me what it was.
- That wasn't the flu,
1018
00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:28,480
I had an abortion.
1019
00:36:32,903 --> 00:36:34,768
Oh, my God.
1020
00:36:35,956 --> 00:36:37,405
You had an abortion?
1021
00:36:37,407 --> 00:36:40,075
Yes, yes, I did.
1022
00:36:40,077 --> 00:36:42,410
- You didn't tell me?
- No, I did not.
1023
00:36:42,412 --> 00:36:43,878
She wanted to tell you many times.
1024
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,081
So, Kenickie's understudy there knows?
1025
00:36:46,083 --> 00:36:48,083
- You told him?
- Okay...
1026
00:36:48,085 --> 00:36:50,585
You've known him for, like, three days!
1027
00:36:50,587 --> 00:36:53,182
Yeah, you know what?
And he listens to me.
1028
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,641
I listen to you, I
would've listened to you.
1029
00:36:56,643 --> 00:36:58,977
You just didn't give me the chance.
1030
00:36:59,268 --> 00:37:00,762
I was, I was sitting there...
1031
00:37:00,764 --> 00:37:04,049
I was sitting there on
the edge of your bed,
1032
00:37:05,065 --> 00:37:06,901
and you said nothing.
1033
00:37:06,903 --> 00:37:09,654
I mean, I asked you,
I asked you point blank
1034
00:37:09,656 --> 00:37:10,966
if anything was wrong.
1035
00:37:10,991 --> 00:37:13,323
- You didn't really mean it.
- Yes, I did, yes, I did.
1036
00:37:13,348 --> 00:37:13,985
No, you didn't.
1037
00:37:14,010 --> 00:37:15,160
This is the problem, you
never give me the chance.
1038
00:37:15,162 --> 00:37:16,778
You never give me the chance.
1039
00:37:16,780 --> 00:37:18,663
You never ask for my
support with your abortion
1040
00:37:18,665 --> 00:37:20,498
or anything else in your life.
1041
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,057
I shouldn't have to ask!
1042
00:37:24,538 --> 00:37:26,037
The firemen are here.
1043
00:37:26,039 --> 00:37:28,623
- The emergency's over.
- Is it?
1044
00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:31,759
I think the dance
emergency has just begun!
1045
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,931
* We gonna keep it rolling *
1046
00:37:36,933 --> 00:37:39,350
* Moving on a brighter day *
1047
00:37:39,352 --> 00:37:42,470
* Try to pull me down,
but I never slow up *
1048
00:37:42,472 --> 00:37:44,472
* Hop on if you're coming my way *
1049
00:37:44,474 --> 00:37:46,891
* We gonna keep it rolling *
1050
00:37:46,893 --> 00:37:49,527
* Moving on a brighter day *
1051
00:37:49,529 --> 00:37:51,646
* Smiling 'cause I
see the silver lining *
1052
00:37:51,648 --> 00:37:56,067
* Hop on if you're coming my way. *
1053
00:37:57,988 --> 00:38:01,156
Do firemen just not come to this house?
1054
00:38:01,158 --> 00:38:03,074
Who? What about that dance?
1055
00:38:03,076 --> 00:38:04,993
That was pretty awesome, right?
1056
00:38:04,995 --> 00:38:07,796
And so super easy to learn, you'll see.
1057
00:38:07,798 --> 00:38:10,415
Okay, now, Maya and I, we're
gonna split you into two groups.
1058
00:38:10,417 --> 00:38:13,418
So everybody count off one,
two, one, two, one, two.
1059
00:38:15,664 --> 00:38:17,722
What, no takers?
1060
00:38:17,918 --> 00:38:19,453
Hey.
1061
00:38:19,843 --> 00:38:21,476
Isn't this the house where
all those drug dealers
1062
00:38:21,478 --> 00:38:22,844
were murdered... Ooh.
1063
00:38:22,846 --> 00:38:26,321
Marble counter-tops, cool.
1064
00:38:28,518 --> 00:38:31,617
What were you guys talking about?
1065
00:38:40,516 --> 00:38:42,311
Come in.
1066
00:38:43,619 --> 00:38:44,835
Hey.
1067
00:38:44,837 --> 00:38:47,594
I just wanted to say good-bye.
1068
00:38:47,619 --> 00:38:49,536
I'm leaving and I'm sorry.
1069
00:38:50,093 --> 00:38:51,675
I tried to force things.
1070
00:38:51,677 --> 00:38:53,210
First friendship and then love.
1071
00:38:53,212 --> 00:38:56,564
And now I know that
forcing things doesn't work.
1072
00:38:56,566 --> 00:38:58,164
Yeah, I feel that.
1073
00:38:58,718 --> 00:39:00,551
And now I know that apparently
1074
00:39:00,553 --> 00:39:02,553
horrifying things have
happened in this house
1075
00:39:02,555 --> 00:39:04,211
and I had no idea.
1076
00:39:05,649 --> 00:39:07,191
Listen, Trent, I appreciate
1077
00:39:07,193 --> 00:39:08,609
you Schwarnegg-ing out back there,
1078
00:39:08,611 --> 00:39:09,977
but what are you doing here?
1079
00:39:09,979 --> 00:39:11,645
I haven't seen you in months.
1080
00:39:11,647 --> 00:39:14,821
Well, I found out that you
broke up with Greg and Josh.
1081
00:39:15,067 --> 00:39:17,961
And so... you're finally a free agent.
1082
00:39:19,031 --> 00:39:21,622
I hacked your texts and your e-mails.
1083
00:39:21,624 --> 00:39:24,041
Oh. Wow, okay.
1084
00:39:24,043 --> 00:39:26,127
Yeah, I'm sorry about that, too.
1085
00:39:26,129 --> 00:39:27,578
Um, good-bye.
1086
00:39:27,681 --> 00:39:29,125
Wait.
1087
00:39:30,524 --> 00:39:31,916
Are you clean?
1088
00:39:31,918 --> 00:39:33,918
Yeah, I spot-washed this morning.
1089
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,303
What? No, I meant, do
you have any diseases?
1090
00:39:36,305 --> 00:39:37,838
Like, the big ones?
1091
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,306
No, I just got a physical.
1092
00:39:39,308 --> 00:39:40,727
My body is perfect.
1093
00:39:41,078 --> 00:39:42,843
Great, want to have sex?
1094
00:39:43,055 --> 00:39:44,979
Are you kidding?
1095
00:39:44,981 --> 00:39:47,932
Well, I mean, I'm bored,
I got nothing to do,
1096
00:39:47,934 --> 00:39:49,600
and plus, it might cheer me up.
1097
00:39:49,602 --> 00:39:51,318
So...
1098
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,852
are you in?
1099
00:39:53,272 --> 00:39:54,813
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
1100
00:39:54,838 --> 00:39:57,617
Hey, hey, hey, just to be clear, though,
1101
00:39:57,994 --> 00:40:00,313
I don't want to see
you again after this.
1102
00:40:00,774 --> 00:40:02,163
Understood?
1103
00:40:02,656 --> 00:40:04,114
Understood.
1104
00:40:04,116 --> 00:40:06,784
Okay, what?
1105
00:40:06,786 --> 00:40:09,180
- Can I kiss your mouth?
- Y-Yes. Mm.
1106
00:40:09,453 --> 00:40:10,921
So, can you show us in person?
1107
00:40:10,923 --> 00:40:12,173
'Cause I watched online like 50 times
1108
00:40:12,175 --> 00:40:14,341
and I just... I keep messing it up.
1109
00:40:14,343 --> 00:40:16,260
And everyone's doing it at every party.
1110
00:40:16,262 --> 00:40:19,046
Oh, yeah, that's how
you get to 1,800 views.
1111
00:40:20,299 --> 00:40:21,715
So many.
1112
00:40:21,717 --> 00:40:23,100
So, does it have a name?
1113
00:40:23,102 --> 00:40:25,633
Oh, yeah, it's got a name, it's, uh...
1114
00:40:26,305 --> 00:40:28,141
it's called the Maya.
1115
00:40:28,691 --> 00:40:30,227
Hit it, M-Dog.
1116
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,313
* 5, 6, 7, 8! *
1117
00:40:36,315 --> 00:40:38,566
* We gonna keep it rolling *
1118
00:40:38,568 --> 00:40:40,664
* Moving on a brighter day *
1119
00:40:40,704 --> 00:40:42,621
* Try to pull me down,
but I never slow up *
1120
00:40:42,623 --> 00:40:44,781
* Hop on if you're coming my way *
1121
00:40:45,367 --> 00:40:47,792
* We gonna keep it rolling *
1122
00:40:47,794 --> 00:40:50,428
* Moving on a brighter day *
1123
00:40:50,430 --> 00:40:53,431
* Smiling 'cause I
see the silver lining *
1124
00:40:53,433 --> 00:40:55,300
* Hop on if you're coming my way *
1125
00:40:55,302 --> 00:40:58,053
* I came a long way,
reversing the wrong way... *
1126
00:41:16,852 --> 00:41:21,877
Wow. Trent, I got to say, um...
1127
00:41:22,297 --> 00:41:23,378
That was amazing.
1128
00:41:23,380 --> 00:41:24,663
You're, um...
1129
00:41:24,665 --> 00:41:26,748
you're really good at...
1130
00:41:27,379 --> 00:41:28,921
at everything, actually.
1131
00:41:28,946 --> 00:41:32,337
I mean, you're just so... patient.
1132
00:41:32,495 --> 00:41:34,273
Thank you.
1133
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:36,591
No, it is I who should thank you.
1134
00:41:38,095 --> 00:41:40,539
For taking my virginity.
1135
00:41:42,983 --> 00:41:45,567
No. No, I... n-no, I didn't.
1136
00:41:45,569 --> 00:41:47,018
Yes, you did.
1137
00:41:47,020 --> 00:41:48,813
Do you want to take it again?
1138
00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:52,941
Eh, okay.
1139
00:41:52,943 --> 00:41:54,659
No, no, no, no.
1140
00:41:54,661 --> 00:41:56,077
You got to pay the toll first, buddy.
1141
00:41:56,079 --> 00:41:57,579
Okay. Come on.
1142
00:41:57,924 --> 00:42:00,341
There we go. This is my favorite.
1143
00:42:01,930 --> 00:42:06,703
... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...
79823
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