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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,159 --> 00:00:19,037 MetalHeadGR Subs4Series "Namibian Adventure Part 1" 2 00:00:20,006 --> 00:00:23,758 Hello and welcome to a Grand Tour special, 3 00:00:23,783 --> 00:00:26,712 ...which begins with this the Volkswagen Beetle. 4 00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:28,815 It's a car we hate very much... 5 00:00:28,876 --> 00:00:32,040 ...because it appeals only to Nazis and hippies, 6 00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:35,173 and we are neither of those things. 7 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,853 However, if you remove the bodywork 8 00:00:37,915 --> 00:00:40,290 and replace it with something a bit more fun - 9 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,572 something like this... 10 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,728 You end up with a beach buggy, 11 00:00:43,775 --> 00:00:45,767 and that's brilliant. 12 00:00:45,861 --> 00:00:47,548 We love beach buggies. 13 00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:49,861 However, Mr. Wilman disagrees. 14 00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:52,220 He says that if they'd been any good, 15 00:00:52,322 --> 00:00:53,775 they would have caught on, 16 00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:56,227 and he points out that they didn't. 17 00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:00,103 So he hatched a plan. And it's this: 18 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:03,662 he said all three of us must buy a Volkswagen Beetle, 19 00:01:03,795 --> 00:01:05,709 turn it into a beach buggy, 20 00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:07,200 and then report with it 21 00:01:07,302 --> 00:01:11,443 to a wild, rugged and extremely remote place... 22 00:01:11,537 --> 00:01:15,170 Here... on the coast of Namibia. 23 00:01:38,659 --> 00:01:40,560 This is what I've built. 24 00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:44,178 It's as close as you can possibly get 25 00:01:44,248 --> 00:01:47,482 to the original 1964 beach buggy 26 00:01:47,559 --> 00:01:49,160 built by Bruce Meyers. 27 00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:55,833 Underneath, it is a 1950s Beetle... 28 00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:57,802 Beetle floorpan, Beetle suspension, 29 00:01:57,888 --> 00:01:59,623 Beetle engine, Beetle gearbox. 30 00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:00,905 It's got Beetle lights on it. 31 00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:02,521 I've even got a Beetle speedometer 32 00:02:02,575 --> 00:02:04,443 and Beetle hubcaps. 33 00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,635 It's brilliant! 34 00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:14,966 This is a beach buggy very like the one that Steve McQueen drove 35 00:02:15,036 --> 00:02:16,693 in the original Thomas Crown Affair. 36 00:02:16,747 --> 00:02:18,731 And if it's good enough... 37 00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:22,060 - Oh, God. - Ha-ha! 38 00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:25,095 I've been joined by the 1970s. 39 00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:30,535 Yes. 40 00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:34,939 James May has built what a beach buggy was, 41 00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:38,876 what I've built is what a beach buggy can be... 42 00:02:41,173 --> 00:02:43,649 if you have a bit of imagination 43 00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:46,680 and some purple metal-flake paint. 44 00:02:46,962 --> 00:02:48,555 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 45 00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:58,540 There, I believe, is the start point of our adventure. 46 00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:07,157 What an extraordinary place. 47 00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:10,708 It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, more seals. 48 00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:13,344 What David Attenborough never told us about those 49 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,946 is how bad they smell. 50 00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:20,388 Sadly, before our nature documentary could go any further, 51 00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:23,930 Richard Hammond emerged from the mist. 52 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:27,191 Ooh, hello. That's not a beach buggy. 53 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,227 - Is it? - Well, I wouldn't call that... 54 00:03:30,532 --> 00:03:32,446 - Ah-ha! - Oh, geez. 55 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,899 Ladies and gentlemen, Dick-Tari! 56 00:03:35,277 --> 00:03:36,688 Behold! 57 00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:38,770 What are you wearing? 58 00:03:38,836 --> 00:03:40,154 What are you wearing? 59 00:03:40,205 --> 00:03:41,763 Well, I'm in Africa! 60 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,115 These trousers, 61 00:03:43,155 --> 00:03:44,646 did they say in the shop, 62 00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:46,326 "I'm afraid they are yellow, sir"? 63 00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:47,716 When you left, they went, "Yes! 64 00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:50,584 20 years we've had those on the hanger!" 65 00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:51,388 Shut up. 66 00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,209 And then we must move over to this. 67 00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:54,795 - Yeah. - We were told 68 00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:56,653 to build beach buggies. 69 00:03:56,832 --> 00:03:58,396 - Yes. - Beach buggies. 70 00:03:58,461 --> 00:04:00,115 - It's not a beach buggy. - It isn't. 71 00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:01,607 It is a beach buggy. 72 00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,802 It isn't a beach buggy. It's got a roof! 73 00:04:03,873 --> 00:04:05,654 There's no Beetle in here at all. 74 00:04:05,732 --> 00:04:07,829 Yes, there is. Beetle engine in there. 75 00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:10,876 OK, this space-frame chassis... 76 00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,641 - Yeah. - Is it from a Beetle? 77 00:04:12,702 --> 00:04:15,352 - No. - These enormous suspension components 78 00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:17,969 Yes, That don't even fit under the bodywork. 79 00:04:18,146 --> 00:04:21,533 - You've got two lots of suspension at the back. - Twin shocks. 80 00:04:21,558 --> 00:04:25,285 - Twin shocks? - Well, you know... - I like an off-road sort of vibe. 81 00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,521 To get here, we had to drive on a beach. 82 00:04:27,715 --> 00:04:29,176 - Yeah. - Ours have made it. 83 00:04:29,277 --> 00:04:32,018 I didn't need two lots of rear suspension on mine. 84 00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:32,791 Neither did I. 85 00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:34,777 Look, we were told to come to Africa. 86 00:04:34,886 --> 00:04:39,560 If we'd been told to go to Santa Monica Beach, then this, with its... 87 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,060 incredibly vivid paint... 88 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,037 That's the most metal flake I've ever seen. 89 00:04:44,069 --> 00:04:45,350 Any beach in the world. 90 00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,027 Um... 91 00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:50,021 - H-Hang on, what's that? - That's the engine. 92 00:04:50,139 --> 00:04:52,264 - What engine is it? - V8! 93 00:04:52,415 --> 00:04:54,310 I've put a V8 in a beach buggy! 94 00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:55,678 Well, no, you haven't. 95 00:04:55,756 --> 00:04:57,584 You've parked your beach buggy quite close. 96 00:04:57,646 --> 00:04:58,631 It's not in it! 97 00:04:58,656 --> 00:05:00,076 - It isn't in it. - No. 98 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,334 You've reversed into a V8, 99 00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:02,600 but not quite hard enough. 100 00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:03,921 It's only gone in a third of the way. 101 00:05:03,945 --> 00:05:06,145 Do you have any idea how difficult it is 102 00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:08,030 to fit a V8 to a beach buggy? 103 00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:09,368 - Well, it doesn't fit! - It's obviously impossible. 104 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,154 Exactly, it's impossible. 105 00:05:11,232 --> 00:05:12,842 This is no ordinary V8. 106 00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:14,303 It started out in life 107 00:05:14,328 --> 00:05:16,607 as a 3.5 litre V8 from a Range Rover, 108 00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:21,609 but I've modified it, so it produces 180 horsepower. 109 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:23,654 Can I just say, you were doubting 110 00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,150 the credibility of mine as a beach buggy. 111 00:05:25,174 --> 00:05:26,139 Yeah. Yeah. 112 00:05:26,164 --> 00:05:28,485 The defining characteristic of a beach buggy 113 00:05:28,547 --> 00:05:32,196 is an air-cooled, flat-four Beetle engine. 114 00:05:32,406 --> 00:05:33,828 No, that's not an engine, James. 115 00:05:33,883 --> 00:05:34,923 That's just a fan. 116 00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:36,531 How many horsepower does yours have? 117 00:05:36,617 --> 00:05:37,789 94! 118 00:05:37,836 --> 00:05:39,781 So I have twice as many horsepower. 119 00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:41,743 - Shall I tell you something? - They're not in the car, though. 120 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:43,564 - They are, they're near it. - Yes. 121 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,457 It's interesting, isn't it? I mean, that is an entire... 122 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,065 Nothing about that is interesting. 123 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,268 Well, This is a blank canvas 124 00:05:48,293 --> 00:05:49,651 onto which you could paint your personality. 125 00:05:49,675 --> 00:05:50,870 - Yes. - Yours has got 126 00:05:50,895 --> 00:05:52,908 a prolapsed V8 hanging out of its backside 127 00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:54,331 and terrible paint. 128 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,776 Mine is a rather magnificent 129 00:05:55,878 --> 00:05:57,401 "Daktari" -themed off-roader. 130 00:05:57,456 --> 00:05:59,613 That's got nothing on it! 131 00:05:59,815 --> 00:06:02,015 - You can express... All your personality, - It is a bit boring. 132 00:06:02,039 --> 00:06:03,039 And it's standard. 133 00:06:03,075 --> 00:06:04,377 It's not... What do you mean, standard? 134 00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:05,504 - Its standard. - A beach buggy. 135 00:06:05,528 --> 00:06:06,896 It's tasteful. 136 00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:08,241 What? 137 00:06:09,398 --> 00:06:12,066 - Oh. - The bat sat-phone. 138 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,399 We've got a message from... 139 00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:15,830 Mr. Wilman. 140 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,165 Right, go on. 141 00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:18,551 "Since you're in beach buggies..." 142 00:06:18,576 --> 00:06:20,337 Well, us two are. 143 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,203 "Since you're in beach buggies, 144 00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:24,969 you will now drive to the beach." 145 00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:26,507 Uh... 146 00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:27,658 Uh... do you think 147 00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:29,366 he's taken leave of his senses? 148 00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:31,115 Well, he was never that good at geography, was he? 149 00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:33,174 No, he wasn't. "You'll now drive to the beach." 150 00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:34,445 Hold on. Oh, no, there's more. 151 00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:36,417 "The beach to which you will drive 152 00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:41,734 is located on the crocodile-infested Kunene River 153 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:46,234 at the northernmost point of Namibia, where it meets Angola. 154 00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,749 It's 1,000 miles away." 155 00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:53,218 - 1,000 miles? - 1,000. 156 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,437 What we needed at this point was a map, 157 00:06:56,577 --> 00:06:59,616 so we decided to head north up the coast 158 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,640 and find the nearest town. 159 00:07:01,851 --> 00:07:04,124 Let the journey begin! 160 00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:11,070 And what a journey it would be in these cars, 161 00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:14,976 cars that were born in interesting times. 162 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:19,546 So, it's 1964, 163 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:22,496 the word "teenager" has started to appear 164 00:07:22,554 --> 00:07:24,124 in the world's dictionaries, 165 00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:26,868 people are listening to new types of music, 166 00:07:26,935 --> 00:07:29,945 they're smoking new types of stuff. 167 00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:34,275 And then, in California, the beach buggy arrived! 168 00:07:39,421 --> 00:07:40,999 It was perfect! 169 00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,651 Girls and boys, beach barbecues... 170 00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:47,221 The first design criteria was that the front fenders were flat, 171 00:07:47,318 --> 00:07:49,389 so you could stand a beer on it. 172 00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,359 That's how you design a car! 173 00:07:55,163 --> 00:07:59,452 Jimi Hendrix had a beach buggy and President Nixon didn't. 174 00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:01,572 Tells you all you need to know. 175 00:08:04,382 --> 00:08:07,812 What I really like about the beach buggy is that it's a testament 176 00:08:07,874 --> 00:08:11,312 to the ability of the human spirit to triumph. 177 00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,323 Because somebody looked at the Beetle and said, 178 00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:17,577 "Well, that's the legacy of the world's worst dictator. 179 00:08:17,687 --> 00:08:19,812 Let's turn it into a beach car." 180 00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:25,118 After a lonely hour 181 00:08:25,193 --> 00:08:27,328 of driving north through the swirling mist, 182 00:08:27,395 --> 00:08:29,905 we still hadn't found a town, 183 00:08:30,024 --> 00:08:33,161 but we did find something else. 184 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,832 Jesus. 185 00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:57,851 I'll tell you what, 186 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,859 he must have been going at a right old lick 187 00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:00,928 when he hit the beach. 188 00:09:00,929 --> 00:09:02,437 He must have been. 189 00:09:02,796 --> 00:09:04,217 Right, the sea is there. 190 00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:05,640 That's half a mile away. 191 00:09:05,676 --> 00:09:06,677 I'd say so. 192 00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:07,952 So he got it up the beach, 193 00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:09,457 and then sort of did a handbrake turn. 194 00:09:09,519 --> 00:09:11,760 - Power-slided it in. - How do you do a handbrake... 195 00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:14,148 How did it get here, seriously? 196 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:17,531 Can I just say... my nipples are erect. 197 00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,788 - What, 'cause of this jacket? - No. 198 00:09:19,898 --> 00:09:20,949 - Oh. - It's cold. 199 00:09:20,982 --> 00:09:22,929 - It is, isn't it? - It's cold. 200 00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:25,709 That's an unwise wardrobe strategy. 201 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:26,874 Yeah, well, you know, 202 00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,937 Africa, on a beach, I thought... 203 00:09:29,025 --> 00:09:30,991 - So did I. - I'm surprised. 204 00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:35,366 The beach has got the sea haar on it - 205 00:09:35,522 --> 00:09:38,070 mist, fog, cold. 206 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,632 - If you look over there... - Hm. 207 00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:42,336 Sunshine, blue sky. 208 00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:45,296 - Why don't we just go inland... - The coast road. 209 00:09:45,382 --> 00:09:47,765 Find the coast road which will take us to a town. 210 00:09:47,835 --> 00:09:50,304 And that'll be in the sun. That's a better idea. 211 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,646 With a plan worked out, 212 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,060 it was time to get moving again. 213 00:09:59,485 --> 00:10:00,786 Oh, dear. 214 00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:03,068 Did you modify the battery as well? 215 00:10:03,263 --> 00:10:05,021 Oh... 216 00:10:05,217 --> 00:10:07,787 - It's obviously not charging up. - No. 217 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,709 Because I didn't modify it. 218 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,123 Yeah. 219 00:10:11,288 --> 00:10:13,162 I'll just see if mine works. 220 00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:16,943 - Oh, yeah. - Let me just try mine. 221 00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,073 Yeah. 222 00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:21,209 - Push? - Hm? 223 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,037 Can I have a push? 224 00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:34,288 After the film crew had got me going, 225 00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:38,292 I used my massive horsepower to catch the others. 226 00:10:44,598 --> 00:10:48,052 But by the time we were back together again... 227 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,771 it was going dark. 228 00:10:51,006 --> 00:10:54,638 The sun, as you can see over my shoulder, has set, 229 00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:57,045 and we still haven't found a road. 230 00:10:57,111 --> 00:11:00,575 It's also going to be very, very, very cold. 231 00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,330 Lights on. 232 00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:13,357 We have got to find this road. 233 00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:16,372 This is not going to be too clever... 234 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,583 in the dark. 235 00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:27,474 I've rather crudely rigged up my torch, 236 00:11:27,614 --> 00:11:30,244 wedged in the windscreen rail, 237 00:11:30,364 --> 00:11:34,591 in the hope that you can see my last pieces to camera. 238 00:11:38,152 --> 00:11:39,904 Oh, bollocks! 239 00:11:44,158 --> 00:11:45,841 Oh, cold! 240 00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:50,599 Finally, though, 241 00:11:50,624 --> 00:11:53,122 it looked like our luck had changed. 242 00:11:53,257 --> 00:11:55,124 Ooh, hello! Hello! 243 00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,146 What's that? 244 00:12:03,944 --> 00:12:06,013 - It's not a hotel. - No. 245 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,513 It smells of excrement! 246 00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:10,810 Oh, wow, look at this! 247 00:12:11,018 --> 00:12:12,419 There's still, like, plates 248 00:12:12,444 --> 00:12:14,505 and cups and saucers and things in here. 249 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:16,083 I'll tell you exactly what this is. 250 00:12:16,178 --> 00:12:17,802 It's an abandoned mine. 251 00:12:18,736 --> 00:12:20,856 They do mine round in Namibia, don't they? 252 00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:21,892 What do they mine for? 253 00:12:21,994 --> 00:12:23,607 - Diamonds. - Diamonds? 254 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,378 Yeah, but they wouldn't have left if there were any. 255 00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:29,318 They obviously left, and not yesterday. 256 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:34,693 Look, there's no road here, is there? 257 00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:35,693 - No. - No. 258 00:12:35,719 --> 00:12:37,239 Apart from anything else, 259 00:12:37,279 --> 00:12:38,872 we can't find our way around in the dark 260 00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:39,700 'cause we can't navigate. 261 00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,364 - Well, I can. - How? 262 00:12:41,441 --> 00:12:43,208 - How? - Stars. 263 00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:44,896 - No, you can't. - I can. 264 00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:47,747 I can't do very many things, I admit... 265 00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:49,864 anything, but I can do that. 266 00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,618 How do you navigate by the stars? 267 00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,239 Uh... find the Southern Cross. 268 00:12:53,361 --> 00:12:54,895 Yeah, but that's really complicated. 269 00:12:54,962 --> 00:12:57,294 Right, do you want to sleep in the excrement mine? 270 00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:58,786 No, this is out. 271 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,193 So, we have to keep going, 272 00:13:01,271 --> 00:13:02,809 whether we like it or not, till we find... 273 00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,607 We have to, so listen. 274 00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:07,388 I shall find the Southern Cross. 275 00:13:07,677 --> 00:13:09,115 You can't find the Southern Cross with a hammer. 276 00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:12,771 I've found it! Ha! I've found it. It's there. 277 00:13:12,913 --> 00:13:13,913 It's like a kite. 278 00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:15,883 - That one there? - Yeah. 279 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:17,241 It's a kite shape. It's sort of... 280 00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:20,951 Now, you take the long axis, yes? 281 00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:21,905 - Yes. - Mm-hm. 282 00:13:21,983 --> 00:13:24,256 And draw an imaginary line 283 00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:27,280 through it, down to the horizon. 284 00:13:27,421 --> 00:13:29,608 Yes? Now, you intersect it 285 00:13:29,662 --> 00:13:32,412 from a line drawn between two other stars, 286 00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:35,211 and where those two imaginary lines meet, 287 00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:38,781 directly underneath it is due south. 288 00:13:38,848 --> 00:13:40,816 So if it's those two... 289 00:13:40,883 --> 00:13:42,733 Which it is, I'm sure of it... 290 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,654 You draw a line... 291 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,562 Oh, this is a bad idea! 292 00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:55,459 We are now trusting our lives to an orangutan 293 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,346 who thinks he's Patrick Moore. 294 00:13:59,829 --> 00:14:03,099 There it is. There's the two stars. 295 00:14:04,201 --> 00:14:06,876 Draw a line... 296 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:10,841 I'm not getting many directions from you, Jeremy. Is this right? 297 00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:13,083 You're heading a little bit too much to the right. 298 00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:15,263 You need to go left a bit. 299 00:14:15,318 --> 00:14:18,513 Good, good. Oh, I'm so confident. 300 00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:23,927 You two are going to be eating humble pie when the sun comes up. 301 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:28,998 Despite the confidence 302 00:14:29,099 --> 00:14:31,060 of Jeremy Columbus, 303 00:14:31,176 --> 00:14:33,546 no road appeared. 304 00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:36,341 Oh, this is grim. 305 00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,478 Excuse me. 306 00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:45,919 I've been on the go a very, very long time now. 307 00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:52,451 Guys, I'm sorry. I'm not driving another inch. 308 00:14:52,552 --> 00:14:54,157 I can't do this. 309 00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:55,658 It's three o'clock in the morning. 310 00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:57,373 I'm exhausted. 311 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,503 He does have a point. 312 00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,503 The next morning, 313 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:10,365 we woke, having slept on the sand, 314 00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:12,808 huddled round our engines for warmth. 315 00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:43,902 You muppet. What's that? 316 00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:44,954 Um... 317 00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,178 "Um" what? 318 00:15:48,263 --> 00:15:51,247 I never knew Namibia had two seas. 319 00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:52,682 It doesn't have two seas. 320 00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:54,350 No, it has one massive "cee" in it. 321 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:55,818 One massive, stupid "cee" 322 00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:57,820 that's navigated us back to where we started. 323 00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,889 - Can I just say... - It wasn't my... I... 324 00:15:59,955 --> 00:16:02,255 Why did we even believe you could navigate by the stars? 325 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:03,661 You can't even read a compass. 326 00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:06,083 There are two "cees". There's two "cees" here 327 00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:08,302 for believing that that "cee" could navigate us. 328 00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:10,615 - No, you're right. - I couldn't possibly... 329 00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:13,286 Really, I don't understand that. 330 00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:15,693 Freezing cold, sandpapered on the face... 331 00:16:15,747 --> 00:16:18,677 - You've got a coat on. - It's thin. Have you felt it? 332 00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:20,599 I haven't even got a thin coat. 333 00:16:20,693 --> 00:16:21,905 I've only got a T-shirt. Anyway, 334 00:16:21,929 --> 00:16:23,677 I'm not going to be competitive with you 335 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,943 about who's the coldest. 336 00:16:24,982 --> 00:16:27,263 - I'm the coldest! - We're all the lostest. 337 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,302 Never mind. Look, let's not get bogged down 338 00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:30,568 with whose fault it was. 339 00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:32,589 There's no being bogged down with it, is there? 340 00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:34,294 It was yours. 341 00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:36,242 We can either go back into the desert 342 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,724 to look for a road, 343 00:16:37,794 --> 00:16:40,169 or we can just do what we were doing yesterday, 344 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,075 and stay on the beach. 345 00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:44,250 At least we know, if we keep the sea on our left, 346 00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,622 we're going north. 347 00:16:45,669 --> 00:16:47,115 - Yes. - That's a fair point. 348 00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:49,522 - Let's navigate by the sea. - Yes. 349 00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:53,393 With our new... Well, newish... 350 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,490 Plan in place, 351 00:16:54,559 --> 00:16:56,544 we set off once more. 352 00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:02,607 So here we are. These are our wheel marks from yesterday. 353 00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:06,673 24 hours of cold, misery... 354 00:17:06,731 --> 00:17:08,857 to achieve exactly nothing. 355 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,396 I mean, it is exactly nothing. 356 00:17:11,771 --> 00:17:15,427 But, apart from that and the weather... 357 00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:19,686 and Jeremy Clarkson, it's all going really well. 358 00:17:19,810 --> 00:17:21,411 As we continued north, 359 00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:24,056 the misery of the previous day was banished 360 00:17:24,115 --> 00:17:28,349 by the sheer bigness of our surroundings. 361 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:31,060 Oh, this is an astonishing place. 362 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,669 I've got a dune the size of Mount Everest to my right, 363 00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:41,007 the Atlantic Ocean to my left... 364 00:17:42,474 --> 00:17:45,216 This is absolutely epic. 365 00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:55,422 This is proper beach buggy driving. 366 00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,891 Sun's out, sea's there with the surf. 367 00:17:59,052 --> 00:18:01,154 It's like being in the Beach Boys. 368 00:18:05,763 --> 00:18:07,834 Amidst all this loveliness, though, 369 00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:13,105 there was one small elephant edging its way into the room. 370 00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:15,050 Chaps, I don't want to have to say this, 371 00:18:15,074 --> 00:18:18,974 but is the tide coming in or going out? 372 00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:23,185 Uh... I'm guessing in. 373 00:18:25,239 --> 00:18:27,950 There's no way up the sides of that. 374 00:18:28,888 --> 00:18:32,716 And if the tide comes in that far, which it does, 375 00:18:32,872 --> 00:18:34,461 we've had it. 376 00:18:34,669 --> 00:18:35,990 Got to keep moving here. 377 00:18:36,029 --> 00:18:38,099 We cannot afford to get stuck. 378 00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:44,240 With some generous use of the throttle, 379 00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:45,786 we managed to get clear 380 00:18:45,811 --> 00:18:48,575 of the sea-and-sand-dune pincer movement. 381 00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:51,786 But then we had another problem. 382 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:57,325 I'd say that was the end of the beach. 383 00:18:58,279 --> 00:19:00,005 How does that just end like that? 384 00:19:00,044 --> 00:19:01,607 - It does just end. - That is the end. 385 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,528 And the Namibian government doesn't allow us 386 00:19:04,599 --> 00:19:06,959 to drive on the salt pans, and that's what that is. 387 00:19:07,154 --> 00:19:08,595 This meant, according to James, 388 00:19:08,661 --> 00:19:11,964 we had only one option. 389 00:19:12,031 --> 00:19:13,662 We've got to go back the way we came. 390 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,506 But if the tide's coming in, 391 00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:18,724 that narrow bit will have become impassable. 392 00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:22,052 That's why I think if we see a good opportunity to turn left, 393 00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:24,700 like we did last night, we do it. 394 00:19:24,753 --> 00:19:26,721 Are you honestly suggesting we go back in the... 395 00:19:26,802 --> 00:19:28,404 Well, where else can we go? 396 00:19:28,523 --> 00:19:30,625 We'll either drown or starve otherwise. 397 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:37,957 Right, we've just got to find a bit 398 00:19:38,024 --> 00:19:42,146 where we can get inland before the tide comes in. 399 00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:50,266 That is getting closer to that, 400 00:19:50,497 --> 00:19:52,232 and when that happens, we've had it. 401 00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,244 But as we thundered along, 402 00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:01,997 the dunes refused to open up and let us in. 403 00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:04,784 That's the sea! 404 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,654 It's the sea, there! 405 00:20:09,255 --> 00:20:11,411 Oh, it's coming at me! 406 00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:15,862 I still say we can't get out here, look. 407 00:20:16,044 --> 00:20:18,130 No left turn at the moment. 408 00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,279 This is where you need a V8! 409 00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:28,731 Oh, shit. 410 00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:32,357 Oh, Jeremy's in trouble! 411 00:20:32,515 --> 00:20:34,575 That is not looking good! 412 00:20:35,715 --> 00:20:37,513 Come on, come on. Whoa. 413 00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,823 Oh, no. 414 00:20:43,189 --> 00:20:46,021 Oh, no. No, no, no. Not a good place. 415 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,435 Oh, God. 416 00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,630 Uh... I'm in the sea. 417 00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:53,607 Because it was a bit of an emergency, 418 00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:56,425 my colleagues decided to help for once. 419 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,338 Go. 420 00:20:59,405 --> 00:21:00,661 No. 421 00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,174 Is that just spinning? 422 00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:03,810 It's beached under there. 423 00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,693 I don't see why I can't push him with that. 424 00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:08,161 - All right, then. Try. - All right. 425 00:21:08,294 --> 00:21:09,849 James, count us in. 426 00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:12,380 Three, two, one, away! 427 00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:21,427 - Yes! - Right, let's go! 428 00:21:22,844 --> 00:21:27,365 Me getting beached cost us time we never had in the first place, 429 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:29,849 and we were still trapped. 430 00:21:33,105 --> 00:21:34,340 Jesus Christ. 431 00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:38,200 Ah, it's coming in. 432 00:21:41,781 --> 00:21:44,036 Come on, come on, come on. 433 00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:47,044 Come on. 434 00:21:48,234 --> 00:21:49,661 Whoa! 435 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:55,958 Oh! 436 00:21:57,427 --> 00:21:59,044 Oh, that's bad. 437 00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:03,638 Shit. 438 00:22:05,986 --> 00:22:07,325 Whoa! 439 00:22:09,909 --> 00:22:11,740 Come on, baby, come on. 440 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:18,029 Mercifully, the dunes finally started to fall away 441 00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,102 and we were saved. 442 00:22:22,789 --> 00:22:25,693 - And we're through! - We are, we are. 443 00:22:25,858 --> 00:22:27,443 That's a relief. 444 00:22:29,678 --> 00:22:31,560 So nearly got stuck then. 445 00:22:34,959 --> 00:22:38,318 We'd now been on the go for 36 hours, 446 00:22:38,404 --> 00:22:42,638 and we were pretty much back where we started from... again. 447 00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:46,013 We were also soaked, frozen, worn out, 448 00:22:46,068 --> 00:22:48,083 and because we had no food with us, 449 00:22:48,154 --> 00:22:50,138 we were also hungry. 450 00:22:50,255 --> 00:22:54,333 But then Bear Clarkson came to the rescue. 451 00:22:54,536 --> 00:22:57,630 Cold you go and get some driftwood for a fire? 452 00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:01,654 And could you fashion a rudimentary barbecue grill of some sort? 453 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,161 OK. Where did you get the fishing rod from? 454 00:23:04,232 --> 00:23:06,165 It's my whip aerial. It's a beach buggy. 455 00:23:06,232 --> 00:23:08,434 - I thought of that. - They're fishing rods. 456 00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:19,065 This is going to make a perfect little fish grill thing, look. 457 00:23:23,922 --> 00:23:25,341 Have you got a fire lit yet? 458 00:23:25,411 --> 00:23:26,302 I thought you were fishing. 459 00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:29,216 I am fishing. My car's fishing. 460 00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:31,177 - Look. - Well, is it? 461 00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,490 - Yeah, look, I've got the rods attached. - It's parked. 462 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:35,497 - What's that? - That's the grill. 463 00:23:35,607 --> 00:23:37,930 So we hold that with the pliers from my multi-tool, 464 00:23:37,997 --> 00:23:40,083 cut the fish up, fillet it... 465 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:43,836 Can you do that? There's no point asking him. He can open a tin... 466 00:23:43,903 --> 00:23:45,396 Can you fillet a fish? 467 00:23:45,505 --> 00:23:47,661 - What, is it only fish? - Well, it's the sea! 468 00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:50,068 What did you think I was going to catch, a chicken? 469 00:23:50,098 --> 00:23:51,443 Oh, my God! 470 00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,785 - Oh, my God! - No, wait. Yes! 471 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,833 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 472 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,229 While Hammond went off to get more driftwood, 473 00:24:04,390 --> 00:24:07,700 James and I set about gutting the catch. 474 00:24:07,867 --> 00:24:11,810 Use his car as the table. There we go. 475 00:24:11,896 --> 00:24:14,529 - That's his gut. Look. You've got it. - Yeah, right. 476 00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:15,904 Oh, God. Shit. Look, 477 00:24:16,005 --> 00:24:18,137 it's all gone literally onto his exhaust. 478 00:24:18,204 --> 00:24:20,310 Oh, no. Never mind. Look, I need your help. 479 00:24:20,378 --> 00:24:21,943 Right, saw its head off. 480 00:24:23,885 --> 00:24:26,825 - Ah, there we go. - Excellent. 481 00:24:26,971 --> 00:24:29,252 - I think, but I'm not sure... - It's gone under his seat. 482 00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:30,521 Oh, no. Has it? 483 00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:32,155 It's all right, I'll get it out later. 484 00:24:36,357 --> 00:24:38,457 Oh, it's done a treat, this. 485 00:24:38,859 --> 00:24:40,494 Look at this, Hammond. 486 00:24:42,363 --> 00:24:44,396 Mm. 487 00:24:44,636 --> 00:24:46,146 Oh, that's all right, isn't it? 488 00:24:48,183 --> 00:24:49,810 Ooh. 489 00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,897 It tastes like fish, doesn't it? 490 00:24:58,010 --> 00:25:00,575 OK, does anybody want a beer? 491 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:02,521 - Have you got some? - No. 492 00:25:02,654 --> 00:25:05,157 Oh, you... 493 00:25:05,404 --> 00:25:07,920 That deserves a stabbing. 494 00:25:07,987 --> 00:25:09,055 That is a proper stabbing. 495 00:25:09,097 --> 00:25:10,365 That's properly out of order. 496 00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,294 After lunch, 497 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,845 we set off once more into the dunes. 498 00:25:20,509 --> 00:25:23,157 Right, so let's keep heading east. 499 00:25:23,243 --> 00:25:26,025 And we must come to a road at some... 500 00:25:26,056 --> 00:25:28,743 There has to be a road. 501 00:25:28,975 --> 00:25:31,993 But, for mile after mile, 502 00:25:32,103 --> 00:25:33,407 there wasn't. 503 00:25:44,923 --> 00:25:46,325 It's the Namib Desert. 504 00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:51,263 "Namib" in the local dialect means "big nothing". 505 00:25:56,532 --> 00:26:00,275 It must be the prettiest desert in the world. 506 00:26:00,505 --> 00:26:02,525 It's just a sea of dunes. 507 00:26:07,723 --> 00:26:11,247 Dunes which were getting bigger. 508 00:26:11,395 --> 00:26:14,253 Bloody Nora, look at the size of that! 509 00:26:16,222 --> 00:26:20,598 Engaging 180 horsepower. 510 00:26:20,778 --> 00:26:23,622 Climbing them in our two-wheel-drive beach buggies 511 00:26:23,647 --> 00:26:25,282 was becoming tricky. 512 00:26:27,266 --> 00:26:32,471 Come on, you can do this. You can do this! 513 00:26:32,496 --> 00:26:37,169 But by deploying the V8, I was sort of all right. 514 00:26:37,286 --> 00:26:38,614 Yes! 515 00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:41,647 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 516 00:26:41,856 --> 00:26:45,809 Hammond had grippy tyres, so he was all right, too. 517 00:26:45,997 --> 00:26:48,520 Please, make it. Please. 518 00:26:49,893 --> 00:26:51,127 Please! 519 00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,583 Ho-ho! 520 00:26:54,755 --> 00:26:56,153 There you go! 521 00:26:56,295 --> 00:26:59,559 However, back in the 1960s... 522 00:27:01,963 --> 00:27:04,199 Come on, little car. 523 00:27:05,215 --> 00:27:06,458 Oh, no, no, no. 524 00:27:06,552 --> 00:27:08,036 No, no. 525 00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:20,567 - Stuck? - Yes. 526 00:27:20,676 --> 00:27:22,840 Two problems. Number one, 527 00:27:22,950 --> 00:27:24,934 he's put a 90 horsepower engine in it, 528 00:27:24,975 --> 00:27:27,005 which actually is probably only 40. 529 00:27:27,122 --> 00:27:28,278 - Yeah. - And number two, 530 00:27:28,364 --> 00:27:30,997 he will not use full power ever. 531 00:27:31,038 --> 00:27:34,661 Well, he's got a 90 horsepower engine, but a 5 horsepower foot. 532 00:27:36,435 --> 00:27:39,598 And I bet you any money he's saying "I had a misfire." 533 00:27:47,348 --> 00:27:49,622 You've got to push the accelerator all the way to... 534 00:27:49,661 --> 00:27:51,153 I know, but... I know that. 535 00:27:51,231 --> 00:27:52,871 It occasionally has a little misfire moment, 536 00:27:52,895 --> 00:27:54,278 and then I lose it. 537 00:27:54,526 --> 00:27:56,294 He said it! 538 00:27:58,061 --> 00:28:00,708 And so the afternoon continued. 539 00:28:00,778 --> 00:28:04,830 The Grunt Machine and the Grit Machine would forge ahead... 540 00:28:05,012 --> 00:28:08,458 There is no way in hell I'm doing this! 541 00:28:08,758 --> 00:28:10,394 Yes! 542 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,786 You star! 543 00:28:15,911 --> 00:28:17,075 And then there'd be 544 00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:19,656 the inevitable radio exchange. 545 00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:22,419 We appear to be a man down, Jeremy. 546 00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:24,683 James May, where are you? 547 00:28:29,786 --> 00:28:31,669 Because we spent so much time 548 00:28:31,942 --> 00:28:34,278 waiting for Captain Misfire, 549 00:28:34,393 --> 00:28:37,496 we were still in the desert as dusk fell. 550 00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:41,600 And failing light meant it was hard to spot obstacles. 551 00:28:42,951 --> 00:28:44,652 Right, sit rep. 552 00:28:44,883 --> 00:28:48,137 Jesus Christ! 553 00:28:50,130 --> 00:28:51,309 Holy... 554 00:28:54,278 --> 00:28:56,106 Oh, my God! 555 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,981 Oh, shit! 556 00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:00,719 Look at it! 557 00:29:00,786 --> 00:29:03,223 Mate, I've got to have a look. 558 00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:08,614 Oh, shitty death... 559 00:29:10,396 --> 00:29:13,299 - I locked up. That was just... - Look, he's buried! 560 00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:16,968 - You've buried the front. - I was completely locked up. 561 00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:18,979 'Cause I would have gone down that. 562 00:29:19,065 --> 00:29:20,567 Look at it! 563 00:29:22,611 --> 00:29:25,573 My close shave was a reminder that, after dark, 564 00:29:25,656 --> 00:29:29,393 these dunes would become very, very dangerous. 565 00:29:34,893 --> 00:29:37,722 It's getting harder and harder to read the terrain now. 566 00:29:37,862 --> 00:29:39,495 Is that a drop? Is that a hill? 567 00:29:39,535 --> 00:29:42,026 Is that going up? Is that a cliff? What is it? 568 00:29:44,263 --> 00:29:46,753 Peril... peril. 569 00:29:47,733 --> 00:29:49,323 Oh, shit! 570 00:29:49,432 --> 00:29:51,370 Oh, I think there's a drop off there. 571 00:29:52,175 --> 00:29:54,126 It's just a black abyss. 572 00:29:54,175 --> 00:29:58,016 That could be a huge cliff again. 573 00:30:00,279 --> 00:30:02,766 Eventually, we could take no more, 574 00:30:02,804 --> 00:30:07,751 and we had to settle down for a second night around our engines. 575 00:30:31,188 --> 00:30:34,164 We will find a road. There must... 576 00:30:34,189 --> 00:30:36,443 - It can't... It can't go on forever, can it? - No. 577 00:30:36,498 --> 00:30:40,779 It has to... There will be a town, a road... something. 578 00:30:43,222 --> 00:30:46,285 Unfortunately, to find salvation, 579 00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:50,308 we still had to climb more dunes. 580 00:30:50,596 --> 00:30:54,233 Climb them and then get down the other side. 581 00:30:54,581 --> 00:30:56,082 Oh, my God! 582 00:30:57,771 --> 00:30:59,519 Well, that's just a cliff! 583 00:31:01,269 --> 00:31:03,538 Whoa! Aargh! 584 00:31:10,282 --> 00:31:13,385 Whoa, this is a monster. 585 00:31:13,452 --> 00:31:16,816 Oh! I don't think I can do...! 586 00:31:16,991 --> 00:31:19,627 Whoa-ho-ho-ho! 587 00:31:24,730 --> 00:31:28,367 Whoa-a-a-a-a-a! 588 00:31:31,238 --> 00:31:32,824 Here we go. 589 00:31:33,113 --> 00:31:35,754 All three of us simultaneously... 590 00:31:39,090 --> 00:31:40,336 Holy shit. 591 00:31:40,417 --> 00:31:42,832 Oh-h-h-h, shit! 592 00:31:43,204 --> 00:31:46,058 Argh-hhh! Ha-ha! 593 00:31:46,104 --> 00:31:49,007 Whoa-a-a-a-a! 594 00:31:51,290 --> 00:31:52,840 I wasn't scared. 595 00:31:57,062 --> 00:31:58,629 Oh, my God. 596 00:31:58,808 --> 00:32:02,316 Guys, this is the biggest yet by a country mile. 597 00:32:03,805 --> 00:32:07,108 Whoa-a-a-a-a-a! 598 00:32:07,715 --> 00:32:08,835 Is that the size of the drop 599 00:32:08,877 --> 00:32:10,918 or what's happened to his penis? 600 00:32:13,494 --> 00:32:16,191 Right, then. Let's see what all the fuss is about. 601 00:32:16,447 --> 00:32:18,416 Holy shit! 602 00:32:21,344 --> 00:32:26,283 Oh-h-h-h-h! 603 00:32:29,207 --> 00:32:30,426 Phwoar. 604 00:32:30,487 --> 00:32:32,189 And now straighten those wheels, Richard, 605 00:32:32,237 --> 00:32:33,456 straighten them, 606 00:32:33,544 --> 00:32:35,113 because you've got to go down straight. 607 00:32:35,179 --> 00:32:39,250 Holy shit. Oh-h-h-h-h, shit! 608 00:32:39,614 --> 00:32:41,416 That is frightening. 609 00:32:47,046 --> 00:32:48,777 Love this desert. 610 00:32:49,113 --> 00:32:51,182 I'm never, ever, ever happier 611 00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,558 than I am when I'm in a desert. 612 00:32:53,824 --> 00:32:57,889 And this... this is the best desert I've ever been to. 613 00:33:00,449 --> 00:33:02,628 You can never really lose sight of the fact, though, 614 00:33:02,694 --> 00:33:04,330 that what it actually is 615 00:33:04,488 --> 00:33:08,134 is a big, orange killing engine. 616 00:33:08,946 --> 00:33:12,063 Now, a big crest's coming up. No idea. 617 00:33:12,422 --> 00:33:15,618 Gentle rolling hill or massive cliff? 618 00:33:15,755 --> 00:33:17,759 I don't know, Hammond! 619 00:33:17,905 --> 00:33:20,107 Hammond, seriously. 620 00:33:20,243 --> 00:33:22,010 Shit, he's gone. 621 00:33:22,337 --> 00:33:25,392 Hammond's gone, everyone. Hammond's gone. Big one. 622 00:33:28,693 --> 00:33:30,392 Oh, me. 623 00:33:37,235 --> 00:33:41,321 How the did you get down that? 624 00:33:41,868 --> 00:33:44,079 With my eyes shut! 625 00:33:44,285 --> 00:33:46,938 That was terrifying! 626 00:33:49,337 --> 00:33:51,657 Jesus! 627 00:33:59,336 --> 00:34:01,271 As we continued to head east, 628 00:34:01,299 --> 00:34:03,601 the terrain eventually levelled out... 629 00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:12,329 which meant we swapped terror for extreme discomfort. 630 00:34:14,868 --> 00:34:17,904 Ah. Oh, God Almighty. 631 00:34:18,251 --> 00:34:21,048 I don't think these cars were actually designed 632 00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:23,579 to take this much punishment. 633 00:34:23,696 --> 00:34:26,313 And I know we weren't. 634 00:34:26,657 --> 00:34:28,154 The only thing is, 635 00:34:28,204 --> 00:34:31,751 James's car rides lower than this and will be worse. 636 00:34:31,993 --> 00:34:34,886 Argh! Ow! 637 00:34:34,953 --> 00:34:36,688 Ow! Ow! Ow! 638 00:34:38,424 --> 00:34:40,592 Agh! 639 00:34:40,659 --> 00:34:42,658 Soon, the relentless battering 640 00:34:42,737 --> 00:34:45,407 started to cause breakdowns. 641 00:34:46,863 --> 00:34:49,966 Sand... Sand in gear shift. 642 00:34:50,330 --> 00:34:53,390 My throttle is jammed wide open, people. 643 00:35:03,632 --> 00:35:06,679 The problem is that every time the air filter, here, 644 00:35:06,734 --> 00:35:09,320 turns as I'm driving along... Which it does... 645 00:35:09,446 --> 00:35:11,843 It's jamming the throttle. 646 00:35:14,791 --> 00:35:16,538 What's going on here? 647 00:35:17,891 --> 00:35:19,192 What's up? 648 00:35:19,398 --> 00:35:21,054 The throttle is now jamming 649 00:35:21,099 --> 00:35:22,796 fully open all the time. 650 00:35:22,885 --> 00:35:24,906 Oh, problem. 651 00:35:42,517 --> 00:35:43,906 Oh, God. 652 00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:49,291 It is still moving. 653 00:35:49,632 --> 00:35:51,393 Many miles ahead, 654 00:35:51,624 --> 00:35:54,968 we'd pulled over for a break from the endless bumps, 655 00:35:55,085 --> 00:35:58,210 and James was being very interesting! 656 00:36:01,507 --> 00:36:04,226 The good thing about this hat is you can angle it, like a heliostat, 657 00:36:04,273 --> 00:36:05,726 to where the sun's coming from. 658 00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:07,390 Yes, that's true. 659 00:36:07,562 --> 00:36:09,578 But you still look a tit. 660 00:36:10,147 --> 00:36:12,918 Luckily for Hammond, who could do with the company, 661 00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:15,786 I was back on the move. 662 00:36:15,989 --> 00:36:20,200 Right, a new style of driving is now required. 663 00:36:20,379 --> 00:36:24,020 This arm for steering, this arm for changing gear, 664 00:36:24,129 --> 00:36:29,137 and then another arm for deaccelerating, like so. 665 00:36:29,267 --> 00:36:31,137 Yes! 666 00:36:31,236 --> 00:36:32,871 Accelerate. 667 00:36:34,714 --> 00:36:36,543 Deaccelerate. 668 00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:39,277 Sometimes, if you listen very carefully, 669 00:36:39,344 --> 00:36:41,317 you can hear my genius. 670 00:36:43,418 --> 00:36:45,395 Back as a threesome, we continued 671 00:36:45,470 --> 00:36:49,489 with our seemingly endless journey to the east. 672 00:36:49,770 --> 00:36:53,262 Just need to find a road now. This is not funny any more. 673 00:36:53,364 --> 00:36:55,371 Enough desert. 674 00:36:55,489 --> 00:36:57,292 I don't want another night in the desert. 675 00:36:59,137 --> 00:37:02,403 I smell pretty bad. 676 00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:03,752 And I suspect that if we manage 677 00:37:03,817 --> 00:37:06,786 to find somewhere tonight near civilisation, 678 00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:08,582 we should probably have a ceremonial 679 00:37:08,607 --> 00:37:11,051 bonfire of the underpants. 680 00:37:11,528 --> 00:37:12,548 In truth, though, 681 00:37:12,573 --> 00:37:15,809 I thought we'd be in the desert forever. 682 00:37:16,142 --> 00:37:19,895 But then, late in the afternoon... 683 00:37:20,550 --> 00:37:26,063 I'm looking ahead, and I'm not seeing an endless sea of sand. 684 00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:29,026 I'm seeing green. 685 00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:33,174 Trees! Those are trees and shrubs! 686 00:37:37,891 --> 00:37:39,106 Pylons! 687 00:37:39,231 --> 00:37:41,903 Pylons! That means electricity. 688 00:37:45,946 --> 00:37:47,262 Oh, yes! 689 00:37:48,234 --> 00:37:50,020 Civilisation! 690 00:37:51,678 --> 00:37:54,575 And then, best of all... 691 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,395 Oh, my God. 692 00:38:05,470 --> 00:38:08,723 I honestly thought we had another night of sleeping... 693 00:38:08,762 --> 00:38:09,807 in the sand. 694 00:38:09,832 --> 00:38:12,911 But, no! Look at it! 695 00:38:14,010 --> 00:38:16,012 Nicest thing I've ever seen. 696 00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:21,754 I could go east, I could go west... 697 00:38:21,826 --> 00:38:24,309 Whichever way you go, it goes somewhere. That's the point. 698 00:38:24,395 --> 00:38:26,426 It's a road, it goes somewhere. 699 00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:29,386 You know what we've just done, don't you? 700 00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:33,160 We've just crossed the Namib Desert in three beach buggies. 701 00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:34,383 - We have. - We did. 702 00:38:34,412 --> 00:38:35,817 We did. 703 00:38:36,496 --> 00:38:39,328 There is literally nothing can stop us now. 704 00:38:43,661 --> 00:38:44,697 Admittedly, 705 00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:48,085 our crossing had not exactly been as the crow flies, 706 00:38:48,217 --> 00:38:50,361 but we had found our road, 707 00:38:50,533 --> 00:38:52,893 and that's all that mattered. 708 00:38:53,529 --> 00:38:54,898 Oh, yes! 709 00:38:54,978 --> 00:38:57,182 That's the best thing I've ever seen! 710 00:38:57,299 --> 00:39:00,760 Yes, it is the road to freedom! 711 00:39:01,411 --> 00:39:03,780 What the hell was that? 712 00:39:05,797 --> 00:39:09,563 Something has just exploded at the back of my car. 713 00:39:09,691 --> 00:39:11,893 Oh, dear. 714 00:39:11,992 --> 00:39:14,367 By the time my colleagues had got back to me, 715 00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:17,300 I'd worked out what the problem was. 716 00:39:17,417 --> 00:39:19,577 It's really straightforward, OK? 717 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,875 - The top bolt has come out of the shock absorber. - Right. 718 00:39:22,917 --> 00:39:26,664 It shot up, boinged into the coolant pipe, 719 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,906 and three gallons of water have simply burst out, 720 00:39:29,949 --> 00:39:32,945 going everywhere except into the engine. 721 00:39:33,219 --> 00:39:36,445 - Right. - So all I've got to do is reattach the top bolt... 722 00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:40,820 mend the pipe and find three gallons of water... 723 00:39:41,102 --> 00:39:45,640 which I shall get from a passing motorist, and I'll be on my way. 724 00:39:46,039 --> 00:39:47,429 - Right. - All I could do with a hand with 725 00:39:47,453 --> 00:39:48,492 is just lifting the car up 726 00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:51,600 so I can reattach the, um... 727 00:39:51,678 --> 00:39:54,124 Yeah. Well, is there anybody here? 728 00:39:54,287 --> 00:39:55,625 - There's... - I suppose a motorist will pass eventually. 729 00:39:55,649 --> 00:39:59,007 The one that gives you water will also lift it up for you. 730 00:39:59,075 --> 00:40:00,905 You could just lift it up a little bit. 731 00:40:01,022 --> 00:40:02,843 Or we could go and have a beer. 732 00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:05,053 - I hear traffic. - Yes. - We'd better not be here. 733 00:40:05,078 --> 00:40:06,639 We don't want to interfere when you're trying to talk 734 00:40:06,663 --> 00:40:08,546 'cause we might put them off. 735 00:40:13,515 --> 00:40:14,989 Right. 736 00:40:25,927 --> 00:40:29,982 Somewhere along here there will be a place, 737 00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:33,028 and that place will have a bar in it 738 00:40:33,175 --> 00:40:34,888 that will contain beer. 739 00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,200 Do you have any water? 740 00:40:41,466 --> 00:40:42,482 - Huh? - Water. 741 00:40:42,536 --> 00:40:44,544 Because the radiator has blown, 742 00:40:44,569 --> 00:40:46,310 so I need just three gallons. 743 00:40:46,427 --> 00:40:49,825 Look, you've got some water there. Just a bucket. 744 00:40:53,011 --> 00:40:55,881 It's an actual water lorry... 745 00:40:56,065 --> 00:40:59,153 leaking water, and he won't give me any. 746 00:41:03,331 --> 00:41:05,513 Eventually, I flagged down a local 747 00:41:05,587 --> 00:41:07,677 who had water to spare. 748 00:41:07,778 --> 00:41:09,638 Thank you. 749 00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:12,646 And then I got on with the repairs. 750 00:41:13,075 --> 00:41:16,911 That is one reassembled shock absorber. 751 00:41:17,138 --> 00:41:18,568 That's reattached, 752 00:41:18,607 --> 00:41:21,482 so that's the cooling system back in one piece. 753 00:41:25,423 --> 00:41:28,888 After an exhausting five-hour drive, 754 00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:31,677 Richard and I finally reached a town, 755 00:41:31,786 --> 00:41:36,139 which turned out to be Windhoek, 756 00:41:36,435 --> 00:41:39,575 and we too were taking on liquids. 757 00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:56,873 Mm. 758 00:42:04,433 --> 00:42:06,372 Back out on the highway, though, 759 00:42:06,509 --> 00:42:08,997 things weren't so good. 760 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:14,021 What I'm driving here - or attempting to drive - is Apollo 13. 761 00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:15,744 There's some air trapped in the system 762 00:42:15,811 --> 00:42:18,982 and I've had to make a small hole in the front 763 00:42:19,038 --> 00:42:20,443 to get at the radiator. 764 00:42:20,515 --> 00:42:21,536 Bled that, 765 00:42:21,602 --> 00:42:23,388 bled all the stuff going into the engine. 766 00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:24,542 This is the header pipe. 767 00:42:24,604 --> 00:42:26,305 Everything is bled, and yet, 768 00:42:26,357 --> 00:42:28,838 you do a mile, it overheats. 769 00:42:29,070 --> 00:42:31,044 Another mile, overheats. 770 00:42:42,438 --> 00:42:47,005 Well, we've covered... 20 miles in four hours. 771 00:43:01,693 --> 00:43:06,762 This is the sixth time in 30 miles that's happened. 772 00:43:06,966 --> 00:43:09,765 Whilst my colleagues embraced beer and bed, 773 00:43:09,832 --> 00:43:13,502 I steeled myself for the longest, coldest, 774 00:43:13,661 --> 00:43:17,440 most frustrating night of my life. 775 00:43:22,780 --> 00:43:24,669 The roads are getting worse. 776 00:43:24,802 --> 00:43:27,232 Honestly, my bones are going to shatter. 777 00:43:27,911 --> 00:43:29,958 Oh, my God! 778 00:43:35,358 --> 00:43:39,419 - I've had a great idea. - Oh, no. 779 00:43:39,967 --> 00:43:42,169 Oh, shit, it's really high! 780 00:43:44,193 --> 00:43:45,239 Το 2ο Μερος 31/12/16 55846

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