Original subtitles

BELLA: 30 years old and no driver's license.

Fucking ridiculous.

l could have stayed and hired another cameraman.

MlLO: Have some jerk with a shitty camera and no eye shoot it?

Forget it.

Look, we'll bail him out,

drive him to the rehab, and drive right back up.

We'll just be a little late.

BELLA: l don't understand -- the lawyer got a deal

that he got six months in rehab or three years in prison, and he--

MlLO: And the judge gave him 1 0 days to enter the rehab,

and on the seventh day he got arrested again.

BELLA: Genius.

MlLO: What am l supposed to do? He's my brother.

BELLA: l didn't even know you had a brother, Milo.

MlLO: l got an idea.

We could interview him about his experiences.

BELLA: No, that's not the film l'm making. l'm not interested

in some privileged white kid who got himself into trouble.

MlLO: Just because he's white doesn't make him privileged, Bella!

Stop pigeonholing people!

BELLA: l'm not pigeonholing him!

MlLO: He's a victim of the very system we're trying to expose with our movie!

BELLA: He's a victim of his own stupidity.

MlLO: lf he doesn't get to the rehab by 8:00 p.m. tomorrow,

he's going to prison.

[ Clunk ]

Do you hear that clunking sound?

BELLA: Yeah, my car's been doing that. l don't know what it is.

-MlLO: Have you checked the oil? -Yeah.

When was the last time you checked the oil?

BELLA: l put veggie oil in it yesterday.

MlLO: Not veggie oil.

Engine oil.

BELLA: But what about your mom? Can't she help him with it?

MlLO: Our mom lives in a cave in Greece,

our father's dead, our grandmother has Alzheimer's,

and don't even ask me about his friends.

BELLA: God, l hate L.A. !

lt's so barren.

MlLO: Just wait 'til you meet him, okay? He's such a character.

[ Truck approaches ]

BONDSMAN: Milo!

MlLO: Sam?

ls that a camera?

MlLO: Yeah.

Ah.

MlLO: lt's okay?

Oh, yeah.

-MlLO: How ya doing? -Hi. Uh, cash or credit?

Uh, credit.

Okay. This -- huh.

MlLO: So, do you mind if l ask you how you became a bail bondsman?

lt's a family business.

Sign here, print here, initial.

MlLO: So, uh, why do you pack that gun?

-This? -Yeah.

-Oh, this is. . . -Oh, you don't have to pull it out.

. . .insurance policy.

[ Laughs ]

MlLO: What do you mean?

A lot of people think bail bondsmen carry the money.

We don't.

lt's all paper.

lf a brother doesn't show up to court, l could go after him.

lf l no find him, l go after you!

MlLO: Oh, okay!

[ Both laugh ]

BONDSMAN: Like Rambo! Boom!

MlLO: Oh, okay, okay.

[ Siren whoops ]

[ Clanking against bars ]

-LEO: All right. Take care. -MAN: All right, then, Leo.

MlLO: What's up, Leo?!

Each day better than the next.

[ Milo laughs ]

MlLO: We're in the Volvo right here.

Come meet my girlfriend. Her name's Bella.

Drove all the way down here from San Francisco.

MlLO: Bella! This is Leo.

Hi, Leo!

Glad he's so appreciative.

-LEO: Sugar? -BELLA: No, thanks.

Just finish this, and we should go.

Fuck you!

""Fac eu"".

Means ''l'll do it'' in Romanian.

BELLA: Thank you.

MlLO: So, uh, why were you arrested this time?

lt's 'cause l'm black.

MlLO: And what happened to your shoes?

LEO: l don't know.

You were in a cell barefoot?

They gave me shoes, but they were awful,

so l prefer to go barefoot, you know?

l was running from the cops, right?

l fell over a wall -- boom!

Fucked up my ankle, the pigs caught up to me,

and my slippers were gone.

They were my favorite slippers, too.

Blue and a little gold.

MlLO: What happened to your shirt?

BELLA: lt's fuckin' hot as balls in here.

l'm cold.

My shirt?

Fucking cigarettes!

l fell asleep with a lit cigarette in my hand.

l wake up, and my favorite fucking pajamas are ruined.

l feel sick.

Hey, do you have any laxatives?

-BELLA: No. -''No,'' no? Or ''what,'' no?

Should we get the check?

Milo, we need to go to the market.

l need to get laxatives, cigarettes, and shoes.

BELLA: Okay, but can you do that fast, 'cause we got to go.

-MlLO: l saw a market next door. -LEO: Okay, let's go.

-Let's go right now. -BELLA: Okay, l'll pay the check.

-Just go fast. -LEO: All right. You want anything?

-Nope. -MlLO: You all right, babe?

-Yup. -MlLO: Okay, we'll be right back.

Okay.

MlLO: lt hurts to see you again like this, Leo.

LEO: Still addicted to the camera, l see.

Thought about seeking help?

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

You're not going to help me? You're just going to film me?

Okay.

Do you have any laxatives?

CASHlER: $2 8.50.

Milo, do you have any money?

BELLA: Did l go the right way? ls this Anaheim?

LEO: You're heading the right way.

Okay, pull in right there.

-BELLA: This is it? -LEO: Yeah.

BELLA: Oh, perfect! All right, cool.

LEO: l gotta get my car out of the impound.

-Left right here. -BELLA: lmpound?

-LEO: Yes. -Oh, this is the impound.

-MlLO: No, no, no, no. -Yeah.

-Oh, you have a car?. -LEO: Yes.

All right, perfect -- you can drive yourself to the rehab,

because we got to get back to San Francisco.

MlLO: No, no, no, no! He's not driving himself.

He doesn't have a license, insurance. Look at him.

Leo, we're not getting your car out of the impound.

What do you want me to do? You want me to drive both cars?

l have a 1 960 black lmpala. lt's beautiful--

-We're not going to make it. -lt's a $20,000 car.

-This car's a great car. -lt's a $20,000 car.

You can have it to go up north.

l just need you to pay the impound fee. lt's only $800.

l can't leave my car here, Leo. What do you want me to do?

BELLA: lt's $800 even?

[ Telephone ringing in background ]

Um, baby, are you sure this is a good idea?

MlLO: Are you kidding? Did you see that car?

Yeah, but it seems kind of crazy to leave my car here.

l don't even know where we are.

MlLO: Baby, your car was falling apart.

BELLA: All right.

MlLO: l'm gonna go check on the lmpala.

BELLA: No, l'm coming. Don't leave me. l'm coming.

Fuck!

Do you have a card? lt's okay.

MlLO: Leo, that car is so cool!

What's wrong?

[ Revs engine ]

-Get in. -MlLO: Leo, you can't drive.

Get in the car.

MlLO: You can't drive. You don't have a driver's license or insurance.

-l don't have patience for you. -BELLA: What are you doing?

Get in the car. l'm going to show you how to drive it.

MlLO: Where are we going, brother?

Shut the fucking camera off, Milo!

MlLO: Don't fucking tell me what to do. Tell us where we're going!

Could you slow down just a little bit, please?

Can we go back, because l left all of my shit in my car

because l didn't know you were going to fucking kidnap us?

BLACK ARlES: Hey, yo, what's up, man?

MlLO: How you doing?

BLACK ARlES: Hermes wants to wash that jail off him and shit

'cause he's not feeling too good.

You guys are making a film about him?

-MlLO: Who? -Your brother.

-MlLO: What'd you call him? -Aw, fuck. My bad.

l called him Hermes, man.

He got that name 'cause he's always wearing

that fancy scarf of his and shit.

Crazy-ass white boy, man.

He keeps a stash of them in my closet.

MlLO: No, l'm not making a movie about my brother.

This camera is just a bad habit.

Tell me about it. We are creatures of habit, aren't we?

Hello there. They call me Black Aries.

Hi. l'm Bella.

Do you mind if l, uh, take a walk?

BLACK ARlES: Oh, go and do your thing.

-Thank you. -MlLO: Where you going?

l just need to cool off a little.

[ Chickens clucking, goats bleating ]

MlLO: You mind if l ask you how you know my brother?

Aw, shit. l know your brother from back in the day.

We used to do graffiti together.

You can still see big-ass giant signs --

Hermes and Black Aries pieces everywhere, man.

lt was a beautiful thing. Lovely.

You mind if l ask how you got injured?

Yeah, sure, man.

l was a contractor in Afghanistan.

After being a soldier in the First Gulf War,

l realized l'd make a lot more money

working for them damn devils in the State Department

as a mercenary, you know what l mean?

l was in Helmand Province.

You know, that's the real rowdy side and shit.

l was over there doing this thing -- what they call ''Crop Substitution.''

Man, l'm telling you, just out of nowhere -- boom!

Drug lords just hit us real hard, or some kind of fucking lords, man.

They definitely were running the place.

MlLO: You must have been in a lot of pain.

But they got some real good painkillers down there.

Real good.

BELLA: We ready?

MlLO: Yeah, we're just waiting on Leo.

BELLA: Shocking.

-Need some help? -BLACK ARlES: Oh, man, please.

Thank you so much.

l've been meaning to get this place asphalted and shit, you know.

lt's going to happen one day. Thank you so much.

-BELLA: You're good? -Oh, yeah. l'm good.

Thank you, Bella.

MlLO: What's up?

Milo. . .

-Yes? -What are we doing?

We're. . . waiting on my brother. l told you.

You know what? Put the camera down.

l want to talk to you.

-Put it down! -lt's down. lt's down. lt's down.

Your brother has some serious fucking problems, Milo.

l know. That's why we're here.

Yeah, l get that. l get that.

But l really thought l was going to fucking die in the car back there.

Jesus Christ!

l mean, you didn't tell me that he was like, like. . .

Like the very same people we're trying to help with our movie?

Oh, please, Milo.

l know you're smart enough to know

that there's a difference between trying to expose

a systemic problem that affects hundreds of thousands of people

and risking our lives for one lone maniac.

That makes sense, coming from someone

who doesn't speak to her own parents for political reasons.

Look, baby, l'm sorry. l'm sorry, okay?

Look, my brother's just part of the package for a few more hours.

Please, just bear with me.

-Fine. -Please?

Fine.

Where is he?

MlLO: Leo, let's move it, man! Come on!

l'm gonna wait in the car.

LEO: Come on, man.

l gotta get my ass to rehab. Let's go!

Aries!

-Whee! -Oh, come on, man. . .

Keep looking out, man.

l'm gonna hit the Hollywood sign.

Ooh, you better do that shit, man. Like old times, man.

Put me up, too. Don't forget the Black Aries, baby.

LEO: Hey, each day's better than the next.

BLACK ARlES: lt's gonna get better, man.

LEO [ Chuckling ] : Or worse. La-la!

You drive. l don't have a license or insurance.

BELLA: Ha!

LEO: Ma'am. . . Come on, Milo.

You wanted to go so badly. Andale! Andale!

Which ones?

BELLA: l don't care what shoes you wear.

Okay, how do l -- how do l get to the rehab?

Come on, which ones you like?

BELLA: [ Sighs ]

Are we going the right way? ls this the way to the rehab?

LEO: l don't know. l have to ask my lawyer.

What? Well, where's that?

lt's on the way. lt's only going to take a second.

Come on, you're like a sister to me.

Which ones do you like better?

l'm not your sister.

lf l had to choose, l'd pick the shoes.

The boots are fucking hideous.

Are you crazy? These are endangered stingray.

You asked for my opinion. l'm telling you.

They may even be extinct after this pair was made.

-Oh, fantastic. -Look at the eye.

-LEO: The eye is watching you. -That's not the eye.

That's their fake eye for predators.

Sorry.

LEO: What were you doing up in The City of Brotherly Love, Milo?

MlLO: Prepping a documentary on the American prison system.

Something you're going to get to know real well

if we don't get you to rehab in time.

LEO: So, put the camera on me. l'll tell you how l got busted.

MlLO: Oh, pray tell.

You know that park that we just passed?

That park right the fuck there. The one we just passed?

MlLO: Yeah, yeah.

l fell asleep underneath a picnic table there. . .

BELLA: Shit, l can't reach the. . .

. . .and l was awakened to laughter by a gaggle of giggling girls.

The next thing l know, they invite me to a pajama party.

How old are these girls?

LEO: They were, you know?

-l go to their house. . . -Where?

That one right there. l put on my pajamas.

And it's on the second story.

l'm trying to get used to my new wheels here.

Ten o'clock, two o'clock, Bella. lt's like a gun -- just aim and shoot.

BELLA: l can handle it fine.

We're getting our swivel on,

and suddenly, the chick's boyfriend comes home

and, um, he's not happy.

l'm jumping out the fucking window, l blaze off in the lmpala.

l'm going a buck-twenty down Burbank.

l hit Chandler, Colfax.

The cops are on my ass.

So l ditch the car.

l'm running down Topanga in my fucking pajamas.

And l, uh. . .

Where do l go after that?

Slam! l fall over a wall that's connected to an alleyway.

1 0 seconds later l had one of those Nazis boots on my head.

And the rest is, as they say, a mystery.

MlLO: Wow, but we picked you up, like, 30 miles away from here

all the way in a place called Calabasas.

l don't -- well.

Maybe it wasn't here.

l don't know. L.A. looks all the same to me.

No shit.

-LEO: This is for you, Bella. -MlLO: What the fuck is that?

You look like you need a friend.

Bill, Bella. Bella, Bill.

LEO: Vivian!

VlVlAN: Hey. LEO: Hey.

-MlLO: Hi. -Hi.

LEO: That's my brother, Milo.

-MlLO: How are you? -Hello.

LEO: He's making a movie, and he wants you to star in it.

[ Chuckles ]

l'm sure he does.

Harry is waiting on you, and, boy, he is not happy.

Where have you been?

You know, the usual.

Swimming in the Los Angeles sticks.

Has he been treating you well?

No, but what else is new, right?

You just give me the order, and. . . l'll make him dead.

-Really? -LEO: Forget about it!

[ Vivian chuckles ]

LEO: What do you want?

-Let's talk later. -LEO: All right.

You smell nice.

Thank you, Leo.

Hey, l got you a little gift.

What did you get me?

From my travels.

lt's a. . .

l found it in Nigeria.

-And it will bring you luck. -Thank you.

Africa ain't just a country that gave us Bob Marley.

All right. Follow me.

[ Vivian laughs ]

LEO: You don't get it? lt's funny!

[ Singing ] : Vivian, Vivian, mi amor.

Vivian. Give me a twirl, Vivian.

Just one.

Come on.

[ Leo laughs ]

All right. Have a seat.

Harry's gonna be with you in a minute.

You're gonna want to put that away.

Milo, she's not fucking around. Put that away.

Five minutes, in and out. Wait a minute, get a shot of the bear.

Quick!

Where's Bella?

MlLO: She's waiting in the car.

-What? -She's waiting in the car.

Harry. . .

Hello, Leo.

Oh, thank you.

You have my file?

Got your file right here, Leo.

That camera's not on, is it?

-MlLO: No, no. -LEO: Milo. . .

-How is your day? -Excellent, Leo.

-So, Leo. -Yes.

l gotta ask you something, okay?

Shoot.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

[ Laughs ]

LEO: What do you mean?

Well, you know, you're fucking me like a Thai hooker on payday, right?

-LEO: Are you serious? -Yeah, a little bit.

Well, you know,

do you think that that judge agreed to send you to rehab

because he thinks you can get rehabilitated?

[ Laughs ]

[ Sighs ]

LEO: Are you asking me?

Yeah.

No.

''No''?

How about ''fuck no''?

[ Yelling ] : How about he agreed to send you to rehab because of me?

Because of Larry K. Rothstein! Because he knows me!

And with that hanging on the line

and with me making it abundantly clear to you

that my reputation hangs in the balance,

you, in your infinite fucking wisdom, disappear for three fucking days!

Then l find out that you get arrested in Calabasas?!

So, you tell me, you shit for fucking brains,

don't you think that l got better things to do

than work for you, you stupid fucking junkie cunt?!

[ Breathes heavily ]

Harry, Harry.

Milo, can you go into the lobby with that?

MlLO: Yes.

LEO: Now?

HARRY: l get a little worked up sometimes

because l really believe in my work.

LEO: l know.

Now, l want you to be. . .

. . .clear. . .

. . .absolutely clear that you're there by 8:00 p.m.

And do not forget the 5,000 in cash,

or they will not even admit you.

LEO: Got it, H.R.

Will do.

Thank you.

All right. Get out of here.

Scared the shit out of my brother is what you did.

HARRY: But he's all right.

[ Leo laughs ]

MlLO: Leo, where the fuck are you gonna get $5,000 in cash?

l got it covered.

Just head down to Mulholland.

You guys want a tan?

What?

BELLA: What are you doing?

[ Leo laughs ]

LEO: lt's gonna get way darker, and no skin cancer.

lt's fucking cool as fuck!

BELLA: That shit's gonna make you orange.

Wait, is this Mulholland up here?

No, keep going straight. We're gonna hit it.

Do l look orange? No, l look tan.

Listen, it contains a gentle tanning agent

that blends with your natural skin tone

so your color change is subtle.

See? Subtle, not chalky.

Well, why do you want to be tan?

-MlLO: He wants to be black. -l am black!

l'm supposed to be in Hawaii right now,

so l got to look the part for the homies in rehab.

Wait, you know the people in rehab?

Yes. lt's always the same people at these places.

Actually, it's where we first tried heroin.

LEO: She's a little friendly.

-Hello! -DAPHNE: Leo!

Hey! lt's so nice to see you.

Maybe l'll come up and -- hi!

What are you doing with the camera?

Are you making a movie?

Oh, l love cameras! Get in here!

Hi. l have the most beautiful, bitchin' house.

People just really love my house.

After all, l'm the bad girl.

[ Giggles ]

Oh, okay. Sorry. Sure, no problem.

You, um, are extremely gorgeous.

-Would you like some carrot juice? -BELLA: Yes!

Carrot juice is good. Why don't you go get some, sweetie?

-God, you smell so yum. -Really?

Bella, why don't you come in here and help me with the carrots?

-Okay. -Here you go.

MlLO: Thanks.

DAPHNE: Here comes director Daphne.

Come on, don't tickle me. l'm trying to, like, film here.

Oh, wow. Too bad we can't hear what they're saying, huh?

So, what's going on with you, bud?

LEO: l'm going to rehab.

[ Daphne giggles ]

Don't laugh at me. l'm serious.

DAPHNE: Really?

LEO: Yeah. Really.

DAPHNE: Well, then, why don't we go have one last going-away party?

Cut!

[ Whoops, laughs ]

-l told you guys not to worry. -BELLA: Yes! Thank you, Daphne!

-LEO: $5,000. -MlLO: Bella.

-BELLA: What? -MlLO: The check's made out to you.

Let me see.

MlLO: lt's made out to you.

What? Why the fuck does it have my name on it?

Well, actually, it's from Daphne's husband, Ernie.

Daphne doesn't have a checking account,

or at least, that's what she told me.

Ernie's a producer and an arms dealer on the side. Shh!

Daphne let me borrow his car, and he's pissed.

So he knows my last name, thusly, Milo's.

-And so on and so on and so forth. -Can you please stop, really?

LEO: La, la, la, la, la. You got your check?

Thank you.

MlLO: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Leo, be careful with that.

LEO: Nice girl.

She's a breeder.

What's wrong, man?

Nothing. lt's just, like, nothing has changed.

Nothing.

lt's like you expect me to be your. . .

. . .your nurse, your caretaker, your banker,

whatever else the fuck l can come up with.

LEO: Milo, don't.

l'm not always going to be there to bail you out, you know?

-LEO: Yeah, you will. -No, l won't.

lt's like you have no idea how your choices affect people.

Me or Mom. . . or Bella now.

Can you stop? Please?

LEO: Oh. . .

What? ls this annoying?

Stop!

Stop. Put it away, please. lt's not a toy.

Please? Come on.

-LEO: Now you know what's it's like. -MlLO: Fuck you, man!

LEO: [ Laughs ] No, no, no, no. . .

MlLO: Means ''Go fuck yourself' in English!

LEO: We good?

No.

LEO: What do you mean, ''no''?

Maybe you should call Ernie. The thing is useless.

l felt like such a fucking idiot in there.

MlLO: Hey, have you ever thought about just fucking giving up

and just doing your time?

Kill myself before l go back to jail.

l almost got stomped to death for speaking with a fellow black man.

The white dudes didn't realize l was ltalian.

-BELLA: Where am l going? -LEO: Head up to King's Road.

lt's in Hollywood.

MlLO: Now we stick to burglary?

LEO: Max!

Open up!

Open up, bitch!

BELLA: Leo?

LEO: lt's open.

l was still sleeping, you fucking cunt.

How's it going, Max?

lt's -- What the fuck is this?

MlLO: Hello.

Max is going to save a brother from incarceration, aren't you, Max?

MAX: What?

[ Telephone rings ]

Search that shelf, Troy. . .

-LEO: What, did l wake you? -Yeah, you woke me.

LEO: Well, wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

Max. Bella. Milo.

-BELLA: Hi. -MlLO: Hi.

Sit down.

lt's okay. Sit. lt's okay.

We're friends-ish.

Aren't you going to introduce us to your friend?

MAX: That's Troy.

Troy, this is Leo, Stephanie.

BELLA: Bella.

Got a light?

No, there's. . .

MlLO: So, uh. . .

My brother says you're gonna help him.

With what? Help you with what?

What the fuck do you got--?

What do you want from me, man?

LEO: You know what l want, Max.

Oh, come on, man. You know. . .you hear,

it's not about the fucking $3,000 that l ''apparently'' owe you?

MlLO: $3,000?!

-For what?! -MAX: Aw, Jesus.

lt was a fucking drunken night of backgammon, okay?

l was pissed off my fucking tits and. . .

lt was stupid, okay?

l'm. . . l don't own him $3,000.

What are you doing, man? Come on.

LEO: Giving you an opportunity, Max.

l don't have a fucking housecleaner.

LEO: One more round, 1 1 points, double or nothing.

You win, we're even, l win, six grand --

five for rehab, and one for my brother and his wife.

BELLA: l'm not his wife. Just his partner.

Most people think it's a game of luck.

Actually, it's largely a matter of nerve.

Where's your nerve, Max?

MAX: Leo, Leo, Leo. Just listen to me, man.

Leo, just listen to me, okay, buddy?

We're not playing backgammon, okay?

l've got no fucking money.

l've got zero money. There's nothing, okay?

Leo, are you listening to me?

l mean, l haven't had a fucking audition in, like, a year.

Ask Troy -- l haven't had a fucking phone call in a month from my agent.

He's probably fucking dead.

LEO: You're a fucking actor, Max?

Fuck you.

What, you want to see my fucking show reel? l'll put it on.

No, no, it's okay, Max.

l don't want to see your show reel.

MAX: Listen, listen. l've got a solution here, okay?

l'm gonna get you guys an espresso,

and we will calm down and fucking talk this out.

Do you want an espresso, Stephanie?

-Steph--? -BELLA: Bella. Yes. Please.

MAX: All you guys are fucking -- just relax.

LEO: An espresso machine?

MAX: No, just an espresso.

This is a graduation present from my mother,

and l'm not gonna give you -- this is my baby, okay?

Looks like your baby is taking a trip, Max.

MAX: Give me the cup.

MlLO: Leo! Leo, Leo!

MAX: Leo! For fuck's sake, man!

You fucking cunt!

LEO: l'm a cunt with a new cappuccino machine!

MAX: lt's an espresso machine, you fucking moron!

What the fuck are we doing? This is insane!

l don't know about you, guys, but l'm collecting on a debt.

That baby's worth at least $1 ,000.

MlLO: You stole it, Leo! We're accomplices!

This is fucking bullshit!

LEO: l know. Did you see the look on his face?

BELLA: You're fucking heartless!

lt was the only thing he had in his entire apartment.

lt was a present from his mum!

[ Laughs ]

Oh, my God!

MlLO: Look, why don't we just find somebody to buy this car legally?

That would make a lot more sense, l think,

than fucking stealing espresso machines.

-LEO: That might be tough. -MlLO: What do you mean?

l mean, uh, it's complicated.

MlLO: Let me guess. The car's not really ours.

lt belongs to someone who doesn't exactly exist.

-BELLA: What?! -MlLO: What do you mean?

BELLA: Well, what are we gonna do?

LEO: We're gonna sell the car. l got a place.

l got to drive it in. They know me.

-BELLA: Oh, okay. -l got to drive it in. Yeah.

[ Revs engine ]

DlEGO: Hey, what's this shit?

That's my brother. Don't worry about it.

What's it for?

He's, he's like Mr. Arty.

lt's his personal diary. No one sees it.

MlLO: How you doing?

LEO: Plus, l got a little surprise.

Careful.

-Bella, l'll be right back. -Okay.

[ Sirens wail in distance ]

Mikey? Will you grab the cups and the thing?

lt's the cardboard thing, to the left.

There's cups and saucers. Yeah, that's it.

Wait till you taste this shit.

MlLO: What's, uh. . .?

What's going on in there?

Uh. . .

l think they're selling my stolen car.

Milo? Can you turn the camera off?

Will you please turn it off? Turn it off, please, please.

[ Clears her throat ]

MlLO: What's up? What's your name?

lt's all right if l film?

Yeah, don't trip. lt's cool.

You sure?

Since you're Hermes' brother and all, it's cool.

Cool with you and your heina over here.

Fools around here call me Diego.

-How do you know my brother? -Hermes?

[ Chuckles ]

Everybody know Hermes.

So, you guys jack cars, too, and shit?

You know, like some Bonnie-and-Clyde-type shit?

MlLO: No, no, no, no. That's, that's. . .

. . .Herme-- l mean, Leo -- Hermes' car.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

You wanna hear some crazy shit about your brother?

MlLO: Yeah, for sure.

Check this out. Like 1 0 days ago, right, he bring me a 2004 Maybach.

Cherry.

He was up in the hills with some producer's wife,

or some shit, you know, doing his thing, his Hermes thing.

[ Chuckles ]

So, he's about to jet,

and he sees the keys, space, missed opportunity, right?

l'm telling you, this motherfucker's a beast.

So, he snatches up the car.

Now, this is a $350,000 car we're talking about here,

and he's high as a kite.

l mean, loaded.

Balls of steel, man.

So, you guys are here to double your money, too, and shit?

Double what money?

Hey, check this out, dawg.

Be careful with that footage there,

'cause ain't nobody got me or my operation on tape.

You know, it's gonna be worth a million bucks someday.

-BELLA: All right. -LEO: Hey, D, Bella.

From the homeland.

BELLA: Wow. Thank you.

LEO: Be careful. lt's hot.

DlEGO: What the. . .?

-LEO: lt's your new machine. -DlEGO: Decaf?

BELLA: You found the way to my heart.

Vince. . . Vince and l talked it all out.

Let me just grab something from the car real quick.

[ Re-revs engine ]

BELLA: What is that?

Hey! $3,500 in cash, plus this beautiful car.

Better than the lmpala.

l don't know. l think l like the lmpala better.

Are you crazy?

This is a classic waiting to happen. Get in.

-All our shit's in the lmpala. -lt's in the trunk. Get in.

-Feel that? -lt's ugly.

lt's like you're on your favorite sofa, you know?

You're gonna fall asleep in seconds. You'll enjoy it.

Milo! Stop filming me, and get in the fucking car.

Hey, Hermes! l think we're even, bro!

[ Laughter ]

LEO: You think you've got up on me, D, don't you?

See you next week!

[ Revs engine ]

Just a minor malfunction.

She hums like a kitten. Get in, Milo.

MlLO: l think Bella's got to drive, though.

-Why's that? -lsn't this her car?

Borrow? You didn't borrow shit, Leo!

You stole Daphne's husband's car and took it to a chop shop!

lt's not a chop shop. lt's a parts place.

Who do you work for? The FBl? The ClA? The lRS?

MlLO: How do you expect to stay out of prison. . .

The AARP?

. . .stealing lsraeli arms-dealer's cars

and selling them at fucking chop shops?!

What did you do with the money from the Maybach?

l spent it.

BELLA: l can't believe you only got $3,500 and this car for my lmpala,

which you said was worth $20,000.

LEO: You're not going to get Blue Book prices at a parts place.

And this is a beautiful car, Bella.

La-la-la.

[ Laughs ]

MlLO: Leo, where we going to get the rest of the money?

First, let me pay my debt to Bella.

l owe her, uh, $800?

Hold on. 20, 40, 60, 80. . .

That's 1 00 for my debt to Bella.

BELLA: Just stop.

Just keep your money.

Consider it my donation to the Keep Leo Out of Prison Fund.

Are you sure?

BELLA: Yeah.

We'll probably waste the next couple hours trying to make that $800 back.

You married a saint.

BELLA: We're not married. l keep telling you that.

Whatever you guys are, she's a saint.

-Are you guys hungry? -MlLO: No.

BELLA: Yes! l'm starving. That's what you can do. You can buy me lunch.

[ Bells on door jingle ]

This place has the best octopus dumplings on Earth.

Better than in China. l swear.

We're in a Vietnamese restaurant.

lt's both. lt's a hybrid.

Could you bring us some Arctic Circle clams

with sesame chili oil,

crispy, deep-fried pork intestines,

deep-fried duck tongue with spicy salt,

half a dozen hundred-year-old eggs,

pan-fried sea cucumber with supreme gravy,

one order of chicken feet. . .

l always like to do like. . .

. . .experiments.

Su Gong and Hot Pot with rice noodles.

You guys want anything?

Leo, we don't have time--

Hold that thought. l got to hit the head.

-Leo, we don't have time. -LEO: Bella, l gotta run.

MlLO: Can l just get some noodles or something?

Oh, l think we're good. Thanks.

MlLO: l can't believe he ordered all this food.

BELLA: Do you think he's okay?

He's been in there awhile, like, 20 minutes.

MlLO: As soon as he gets back,

we're gonna drop him off, we're gonna go to the airport,

we're gonna fly to San Francisco,

and we'll be there in time to do our interviews this afternoon.

l cancelled the interviews.

You did what?

l cancelled the interviews. Hours ago.

Why would you do that?

Because we were never gonna make it.

And l should have known that this morning at 5:00 a.m.

when l agreed to do this.

And you should have known it

because you know what your brother's like.

You knew we were never gonna make this happen.

You knew we were never gonna be able to come down here,

swoop him into rehab, and drive back up there in time.

This is our mission now, okay? We're gonna--

MlLO: Leo, what is your plan? What do you wanna do?

Milo, come on. You've been pretty chill all day.

Why the sudden bout of anxiety?

Bella, you have to try the hundred-year-old egg.

Yeah. lt's fermented in straw and horse urine for, like, six months.

lt is wonderfully, wonderfully perverse.

A little too perverse for me. No, thanks.

Come on. Live a little. Bella?

-lt smells like ass! -l dare you, Bella.

MlLO: Bella, what are you doing? You're vegan!

LEO: She's living life.

[ Sniffs, groans ]

MlLO: l can't believe you're eating that!

BELLA: Oh, my God.

lt's good, right?

Not as bad as you would think.

A world without hundred-year-old eggs is not worth living in.

That, and truffles found by dogs and imported from ltaly.

-l think pigs find truffles. -The best are found by dogs.

BELLA: l want to try something else.

LEO: All right. How about the chicken feet?

lf l could, l'd weigh 600 pounds.

l used to weigh 220, until l started using again.

-What?! -Yeah.

You? l don't believe it.

l lost 60 pounds in 3 months.

What's your secret?

l could put you on the diet, but l don't think you'd be happy.

BELLA: Not likely.

MlLO: Yeah, you don't want the diet that he's on.

LEO: Pay the check. Meet me around back.

l may have solved our money problems.

BELLA: What the fuck?!

l knew there was something up with this place.

That's disgusting!

-LEO: Our worries are over. -MlLO: You stole a dog now?!

l bought him, 1 00%%% legal.

Rescued him from an uncertain fate as a Lo Mein side dish.

BELLA: [ Scoffs ]

-MlLO: You did what?! -lt's just 500. Relax.

Taco's a champion English Bulldog.

He was trained in Germany. He's a police dog.

We'll get 2,000 for him, easy.

Watch. Taco! Platz!

Platz!

Taco, platz!

No, he doesn't feel like platzing.

BELLA: Okay, come on, Taco!

-lnside! lnside! Come on, Taco! -MlLO: Here we go!

-BELLA: lnside! -MlLO: Here we go!

BELLA: Come on.

MlLO: l can't believe you bought a fucking dog!

-BELLA: l think he's cute. -MlLO: Oh, my God!

He just slobbered all over my camera!

Oh, no!

MlLO: Oh, fuck!

BELLA: He sneezed!

LEO: Bella, take a left.

-LEO: What time is it? -MlLO: lt's, like, 1 2 something.

-Perfect. -What do you mean ''perfect''?

LEO: Just take a right right here, Bella.

-MlLO: What's going on?! -LEO: These are my boys!

[ Motorcycle revs ]

MlLO: Jesus Christ!

One of them will buy the dog for sure. Just pull into the gas station.

[ Bella squeals ]

MlLO: Jesus Christ.

What the fuck?!

MOTORC YCLE MAN: What's up, brother?!

LEO: You guys, pull in over there!

[ Motorcycle engines revving ]

MAN: Qu� hubo? Qu� pasa, loco?

-Nada, homes! -What's up?

What's up with the camera, man? New reality TV show?

LEO: Don't mind him. Don't mind him.

l have this dog. His name is Ducati.

He's born in ltaly like me, trained in Germany.

He's like a $6,000 police dog.

MAN: Police dog?! LEO: Yeah. You better watch out!

Listen, l'm in a little bit of a situation.

So, l'm willing to let him go for, like, 2.

MAN: 200?

-LEO: 2 stack. -Damn!

l'll give you two bills right now, ese. Sold.

Can't do it, big homie. Hey, where's Dizzy at?

Dizzy? He's over there.

-Hold Taco a sec. -MAN: Taco?!

LEO: Ducati! His nickname's Taco.

-Just watch him, all right? -You're trippin' and lit.

[ Motorcycle engines rev ]

MlLO: Who's that crazy guy?

[ Laughs ]

Does he really think someone's going to want to buy a dog for $2,000?

BELLA: This poor dog's gonna die of heat exhaustion.

MlLO: Can you give me the money, man?

We're not gonna have anything left at the rate you're spending it.

What? You don't trust me?

MlLO: lt's not that.

lt's just that we both saw you give that guy Dizzy money.

l owed him. lt's just 20. Relax!

MlLO: And then you went into the bathroom. . .

To shit!

You don't know what it's like trying to come off drugs.

-l had the runs, you know? Damn. -MlLO: Oh.

-BELLA: You're such a pushover. -MlLO: Who, me?

BELLA: Yeah.

''Oh. . . oh, okay.''

LEO: Take a left right up here.

MlLO: What about Bill? Does he still live in Venice?

-You read my mind. -BELLA: Who's Bill?

Does he want to buy a dog?

MlLO: Bill is a very rich, very eccentric family friend.

MlLO: Leo, are you going to ask him?

No, you ask him. l'm not going to ask him.

MlLO: All right. Where the fuck is he?

MlLO: Oh, there you are, Bill.

Oh, hey, Milo.

MlLO: How are you?

-Hope you don't mind the camera. -BlLL: No, l'm used to it.

l wouldn't know you without it.

So, um, what are you working on?

l'm working on kind of these ol' mini-handcuffs here,

and l was wondering if l could make

some thumb-cuff kind of jewelry, you know?

Just not sure how to --

you know, you can't really put them like that 'cause you can't do stuff.

MlLO: l know you haven't seen much of Leo lately,

but he has developed a bit of a drug problem.

Well, you know, life's been a little easier for you

and a little harder on Leo.

l feel an affinity with Leo, and l also understand, you know,

what it is to deal with a, with a drug problem.

l've got a lot of friends that just ain't here anymore.

A little miscalculation here, a little error there.

lt's not like doing some big, noble deed to help someone,

but you know that if you don't, then, you know, he could be dead.

MlLO: Leo got himself into a little trouble,

so we've come to ask you for a little loan.

Sure, no problem. 5, 1 0 dollars? What can l do?

We gotta get him into rehab, and we need $2,500.

Well, fuck him!

[ Folk music plays, no audible dialogue in sequence ]

LEO: Hey, Carmen!

[ Taco panting ]

Just tie him up.

CARMEN: [ Screams, laughs ]

Baby, come here!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, Frederico said you got arrested.

That it was serious.

Serious is what's going to happen to Frederico

if he keeps telling people my business.

CARMEN: Leo! l'm not other people.

When did you get out?

l escaped.

Don't tell anyone.

Oh. . . This is my brother, Milo.

Camera crew following you.

MlLO: Hi!

Hi, hi! l'm Milo.

-LEO: This is his wife, Bella. -BELLA: Hi. Partner, actually.

Hi. Carmen.

LEO: Partner, actually.

Come in.

BELLA: God, these paintings are amazing!

CARMEN: Thanks.

You did all these?

Wow!

l'm about to have my first one-woman show.

BELLA: Oh, that's so cool!

So, Brad's not going to be home for a couple of hours,

so make yourselves at home.

-MlLO: So, who's Brad? -LEO: Brad's her boyfriend.

l've never met him. . .

. . .and l'm not jealous.

l've been trying to get her to run away with me to lnner Mongolia.

l'd wear, like, a black suit with red trim.

She'd wear a red veil.

There'd be little ponies everywhere.

[ Sighs deeply ]

l'm totally ''twitter-pated,'' can't you tell?

''Twitter-pated,'' huh?

LEO: Ain't you ever seen Bambi?

CARMEN: [ Squeals, laughs ]

Bye.

BELLA: Hello?

Yes, this is she. Can you hear me?

Yeah, l don't -- Hold on one second, please.

Hi. Yeah, hold on. . .

MlLO: What's up, guys?

LEO: Milo, how about a little bit of privacy?

-Sorry, sorry! -Jesus.

l'm sorry. Sorry.

[ Carmen laughing ]

MlLO: There you are! Leo, get dressed! We gotta go!

-Let's go! Come on. -BELLA: Oh, okay.

Well, Carmen, it was so nice to meet you.

Thank you for everything.

Listen, Leo told me about the little money problem you guys are having.

-Yeah. . . -l think l can help.

Really?

LEO: l need a shave.

We're not gonna smoke it.

We sell it.

We break it up into four quarters

and sell it for about twelve-fifty a pop.

MlLO: Yeah, that adds us to 5,000

and turns us into total drug traffickers.

lt sounds worse than it is, but it's how l paid my way through art school.

-Really? -lt's only pot.

lt's practically legal in California, anyway.

Wait. Let's just figure out if this is our only option.

MlLO: No, it's not legal. lt's not legal.

l mean, even if we had a doctor's note,

it wouldn't cover us for transporting a pound of marijuana.

This is insane.

LEO: We do a drug deal, get me into rehab,

and then the student becomes a teacher.

Listen, l have this lawyer friend up north

who got this guy off for having 1 50 plants,

and, to top it off, at the end, the government gave him his plants back.

-LEO: Can l have his number? -BELLA: lt's a she.

See, men get into trouble, women get them out.

-Sound a little familiar? -LEO: Can l have her number?

-l think l might need a new lawyer. -Listen, you guys, we can do this.

lt's only a phone call away.

l even know people who want to buy it.

LEO: Let's just focus on selling Taco. This is becoming. . .

MlLO: No! No one's gonna want to buy that stupid dog, Leo, Jesus!

LEO: lt's not a stupid dog.

lf l had feelings, l'd be hurt.

CARMEN: You guys, look. Listen.

l'll carry the stuff in my purse.

lf we get busted, l'll take the responsibility.

You guys just play dumb.

-BELLA: Are you sure? -CARMEN: Mm-hmm.

MlLO: Whatever. You know what l think?

All right. l'll call him and see what he says.

MlLO: Are you seriously okay with this?

Milo, l mean, we do our best, and we hope for the best.

lf we get busted, we're completely fucked.

Milo! l can't believe you're saying this now!

At this point today,

we have driven a stolen car, sold the stolen car,

sold the stolen espresso machine,

and let a convicted felon buy and use drugs.

Either we commit a crime, or we watch Leo go to prison.

CARMEN: He's busy now.

He'll call us back in an hour with the spot to meet him.

BELLA: All right.

-We're gonna get you into rehab! -Let's go swimming.

BELLA: Swimming actually sounds like a good idea.

MlLO: Bella, what has gotten into you?

That's why we came down here, right? To go swimming?

l don't even recognize you right now.

Milo, come on!

There's nothing more we can do about our shoot today, okay?

lt's fucked.

And at this point, we just have to wait for Carmen's friend to call,

and it's hot and l have not showered, and l'm exhausted,

and, yeah, swimming actually sounds like a good idea.

MlLO: Leo?

-What? -Let me ask you something.

Do you feel at all guilty for getting us into this mess?

LEO: Let me ask you something.

When are you gonna stop living your life

like one giant fucking documentary, huh?

-MlLO: Come on, answer me! -Answer you?

You're looking through a lens.

For fuck's sake, who am l talking to? You?

You're talking to all of us. You're talking to her, to her.

You're talking to the camera. You're talking to me.

Come on! For the record.

Speak!

l appreciate you guys came down here.

Fuck!

l do, but l didn't make you.

BELLA: Excuse me?

l didn't make you guys come down here.

-MlLO: l gotta hear this. -lt was your choice.

Face it -- the only reason why you came down here in the first place

is you don't want to feel guilty about not helping out your brother,

plus the fact. . .

MlLO: That's the most warped reason l've ever heard.

. . .you still feel bad about the time you sent me to jail.

That's really why you're here, isn't it?

No.

BELLA: All right, that's the biggest fucking piece of horse shit

l've ever heard.

l care, he cares, we're here.

Goddammit, you are the most ungrateful person

l've ever met in my entire life.

l can't believe you.

-LEO: Ungrateful? -BELLA: Yeah! Ungrateful!

He doesn't really care.

BELLA: What the fuck are you talking about?!

How can he not care?!

Listen, he'll call my girlfriend

and say, ''l'm worried my little brother's dead,''

and she'll say, ''Come over for dinner. Talk to him.''

And he'll say, ''Ah, that's okay, l'll call in a couple weeks.''

-MlLO: l'm out of town! -A couple of weeks!

-l'm out of town! -You're always out of town, man!

BELLA: What does he mean, ''sent me to jail''?

-l didn't send him to jail. -The worst idea ever.

-Next time. . . l'll kill you. -BELLA: What?

l got arrested at this motel,

and cops said, ''You live over on Laurel Canyon?

Your brother sent us three days ago.''

MlLO: lt was your friend who called saying, ''Your brother's gonna die.

He's been doing speedballs for 1 0 days, and he's gonna die,

and if you want to live with yourself,

and you know you could have done something to stop it,

that's up to you.''

And what happens when l get stabbed in jail

because you called the fucking cops?

Does he cop up to that? To that phone call he made saying,

''Your brother's gonna die if you don't call the police''?

Why didn't he call, then?

He said, ''l'm not his brother. You are.''

Wow, so, riddle me this, Sherlock --

What happens when l find a dirty needle in jail

and get some kind of weird disease?

People don't shoot up in jail, do they?

What?

People shoot up in jail?

Yeah. The whole dorm. We all share one needle.

l didn't know that.

What you don't know could fill up the Staples Center.

-MlLO: This it? -CARMEN: This is it.

-BELLA: Come on, Taco. -This is one of his new spots.

MlLO: What is this?

lt's his not-so-legal operation.

He used to have one in Diamond Bar,

but there was just way too much heat on the operation.

Cops?

Feds.

MlLO: Do you think he'd let me come in there and film?

CARMEN: Um, l doubt it, but l'll ask.

BELLA: She's so cool.

MlLO: She's nice, huh?

What the hell does she see in you?

l don't know. That's a good question.

-CARMEN: He said yes. -MlLO: He did?

Yeah. l can't believe your luck.

-lVAN: Carmen, my sweet! -CARMEN: lvan.

[ Carmen laughs ]

This the man with movie camera, obviously.

l used to go to film school in Ukraine.

Lots of fun those days.

CARMEN: Frederico probably told you

about Leo's little scrape with the law.

-lVAN: Yeah. . . -CARMEN: So his lawyer--

Rothstein.

l hooked him up with that guy.

-MlLO: Really? -lVAN: Yeah.

CARMEN: Yeah.

He got him into rehab.

Problem is, we're a little light in the admission-fee area.

-lVAN: How light? -2,500.

So, you see. . .

We were hoping you would break us off

2,500 in Pretty Pussy product,

so we can go door-to-door.

Just to raise the funds for Leo.

You want me to front you 2,500 of Pretty Pussy.

No. Not front.

We want the wholesale rate.

-Like what you sell it to Petco for! -MlLO: What do you guys make here?

lVAN: Cat toys.

For cats. Toys that cats like.

Take.

-MlLO: That's a big business, huh? -lVAN: Big business, cat toys. Take.

CARMEN: l would never ask, but you know how l feel about Leo.

lVAN: [ Sighs ]

Give tour.

MlLO: So. . .

What happens in here?

WOMAN: We grow.

We clip.

And here, they finished.

MlLO: Do you like to smoke it?

What do you think?

MlLO: You like green. You match.

WOMAN: lt is the color of money.

Got it!

MlLO: Holy shit!

BELLA: Oh, my God!

CARMEN: There's this design studio downtown,

full of ex-gang members, graffiti artists, editors.

Great friends of mine. They'll want some.

MlLO: All right. Let's go.

-MlLO: What did you say? -Who feels like smoking a fatty?

-BELLA: l do! -CARMEN: [ Laughs ]

MlLO: Aren't we risking enough, like, carrying it?

Do we have to actually smoke it in the car?

lt's bad enough that we're holding all this.

CARMEN: Come on, Milo. Such a naysayer.

[ Sighs ]

BELLA: Look at this. lt's so cool.

LEO: ''l believe today is gonna be a wonderful day.

Each day better than the next.

l am always in the right place at the right time.''

Can't argue with that. ''My mind has unlimited potential.''

Very true.

He's down the hall.

CARMEN: Thanks.

LEO: Sandy, come read the affirmations with me!

-Hermes? -LEO: Oh, my. . .

SAND Y: What the fuck are you doing here? How are you?

LEO: [ Laughs ]

-l heard you were upstate. -l heard you were dead, man.

-Who told you that? -Jessica.

She wants me dead.

lt looks good.

l mean, what's with the paparazzi and shit?

Oh, it's just my brother. He's got issues. Don't worry.

MlLO: How are you?

LEO: lt's like his own personal diary.

-Don't worry. -All right.

LEO: No one will see it.

l am very impressed. Very cool.

SAND Y: Yeah. l'm a computer designer now.

Well, l'm trying to get into rehab myself. . .

SAND Y: Well, this ain't it. This isn't rehab. You're lost.

LEO: [ Laughs ]

And, and, um. . .

l'm selling some weed to raise funds to get into rehab.

So you want some?

[ Chuckles ]

No, man. l don't do drugs anymore.

l'm three months, five days, and two hours sober.

-No one's going to see this! -You know what? l'll sponsor you.

Okay, you could sponsor me.

Fuck the weed. Just come check out this dog.

He's a police dog. His name is Cereberus.

You're gonna love him. Come on!

Did you not read the ''no soliciting'' sign at the door?

Are you gonna report me now?

SAND Y: When was the last time l saw you?

-Was it at The Coach and Hound? -LEO: Horses! Horses!

CARMEN: Milo.

No dice. Let's go.

LEO: Y grapes, tambi�n.

-CARMEN: Y watermelon! -LEO: Y watermelon, sand�a!

CARMEN: l knew that, l think.

-''Watermeloney''. -LEO: Gracias.

BELLA: Muchas gracias!

Qu� calor! A ver...

CARMEN: Qu� caliente!

No. How do you say ''heat'' in Spanish?

MlLO: How did it go in there?

You didn't sell any?!

BELLA: No! Dealing's a tough gig, man.

l'm not made for this shit.

Copping's a tough gig, lady.

-BELLA: Nobody wants to buy weed. -MlLO: They want the harder shit.

Right, Leo?

BELLA: Hey, is this the, uh. . .?

ls this the South Central Farm?

CARMEN: Oh, yeah. Yeah, what's left of it.

l read about this.

[ Gasps ] : That's it now?

CARMEN: Do you know the story?

Some developer bought the land 1 5 years ago,

then the city took it under eminent domain

to build a garbage-incinerator site.

The community protested

and then built the largest urban farm in the United States.

Then the developer sued the city to get his land back, won,

and then refused to sell it back to the community

even though they raised $1 6 million to get it back.

LEO: [ Sighs ]

People are so deceptive and greedy.

The only thing you can do is get as intoxicated as possible

until it's all just fucking over.

BELLA: That's such bullshit!

You can actually do something about it!

Like what? Make movies?

For example, yes.

MlLO: Can we drive around and shoot this?

-BELLA: No. We're in a hurry. -MlLO: Look at that.

They're pulling out the last tree.

LEO: People go to the movies to be entertained, that's it.

Nobody wants to be whipped.

People were protesting that farm for months.

The bitch didn't eat for, like, 2 8 days.

BELLA: Please don't call her a bitch.

Did that make a difference?

Should have killed the developer.

BELLA: Violence just begets violence.

lt'll just perpetuate the cycle of oppression and inequality.

What does that get you?

Yeah, that's one to grow on.

BELLA: What? So, Leo, you're saying

he should have been motivated by fear?

LEO: Fear may be the one thing stronger than greed.

-MlLO: Are you all right, Leo? -Yeah, l'm just cold.

MlLO: You're cold? You're all sweaty.

-lt's freezing. -BELLA: lt's as hot as balls in here.

-LEO: Yeah. -BELLA: l'm melting.

CARMEN: Just hold on a little longer.

MlLO: They got good meds in rehab. You'll do all right.

l'm serious.

You're serious.

LEO: My life's like that accident. You're just slowing down to look.

-MlLO: Where are we? -CARMEN: Jordan Downs.

MlLO: You think l can film here?

CARMEN: Yeah, they'd love it.

-MlLO: What's Jordan Downs? -The projects.

-This is Milo, the cameraman. -Fuck you!

CARMEN: This is Bella.

MAN: l can give you a better name than that.

MAN 2: What's up, baby? Where the fuck you been, man?

Leo, what you doing, baby? Chill out, brother!

CARMEN: You know l like to come and hang out,

but l do have a problem.

You know, you bring problems.

We'll fuck you up right here.

[ lnaudible dialogue ]

You know l wouldn't bullshit you, right?

Barbeque! Oh, you guys hungry?

BELLA: Yeah, l'm starving.

MAN: The one with the snake-looking ass.

Desert-horse-looking ass.

This is the don around here. You see me, man?

This the don.

These my, these my goons right here, man, making this money.

You see us, man?

MlLO: Why don't you tell the world about Jordan Downs Projects?

Fuck them if they don't love us.

-MlLO: What's it like here? -MAN: Like hell.

lt's like hell.

lt's crazy. So much shit can happen.

You could get shoot right now, man.

Big homies and shit just chillin' , you know,

living the good life out here, though.

Getting money and shit. That's all we tryin' to do.

-You feel me? -MlLO: Why's it like hell?

Man, this shit crazy. Police can come snatch you up.

OFF-SCREEN MAN: Police don't let a nigga live out here.

-We ain't got no freedom. -None of that and shit, man.

MlLO: What do the police most bother you guys about?

MAN lN HAT: Shit. Gang injunction.

-Everything. -MlLO: What's that?

Shit, you can't be around three people.

They can come get us right now if they wanted to.

-MAN: For nothing. -MlLO: For what?

-MAN: For being like this. -MAN lN HAT: For being too deep.

OFF-SCREEN MAN: Plus, l got purple on.

-MlLO: What's the purple signify? -Grape. . .

MAN lN HAT: Red and blue make purple.

You didn't know that?

Want two crayons to see?

We definitely gonna sell this motherfucking weed,

you know what l'm saying?

l got you. l got some little hungry cats over there.

They probably suck that right up.

-MlLO: You guys play for money? -Yeah, we shoot for money.

MlLO: Can you get arrested for gambling?

They can take your money out your pocket

and the dice and all that.

MAN lN HAT: We live for this shit right here, though.

Living the ghetto life.

Twelve-fifty for a motherfucking quarter pound, man.

That's all we going for, man. Whatever.

CARMEN: You want four?

Man, call your bosses, man.

We don't want to be getting into this bullshit, man.

25, big homey.

[ Helicopter overhead, sirens in distance ]

MAN: We got 23.

Why you trying to haggle me for this?

-Do you know where this is from? -Pull that shit out, man.

Let them see that, man. That's real shit.

CARMEN: Did you smell it?

lf you guys want to do some stuff, man. . .

MAN lN HAT: She'll come back for the two.

MAN: Two gonna be right now, man.

We got three, fucking three, man, last week.

She ain't take it, daddy.

[ No audible dialogue ]

MlLO: No luck, huh?

No.

This is it for me.

MlLO: You worried about him going to prison?

Me too.

l can't believe he never told me he had a brother.

MlLO: So, how come you guys aren't. . . together?

You know what it's like.

MlLO: To love an addict?

Yeah, to love an addict.

You want the real shit, right? Follow me.

MlLO: Where's Bella?

-She's in the fucking-- -She's where?

She's with Carmen. She'll be fine.

MlLO: Leo, we got, like, an hour left.

You want to make a documentary, right?

Not right now.

Follow me.

MlLO: Leo. . .

Time's running out, man. What are we doing here?

l don't want to make-- l can't film in here.

LEO: Come on in. These are my friends.

Come on in!

-MlLO: l can't talk to these people. -LEO: Just talk to them.

ADDlCT: You Hermes' brother?

Yeah.

You mind if l film you?

Yeah. You want me to look in the camera, or what?

You know, your brother's, like, an angel.

Takes care of, like, nine people down here.

Keeps, like, a constant supply of clean needles.

People use dirty needles otherwise?

We use whatever we can get, you know?

The government don't give us clean needles.

They want us dead.

Your brother. . .

. . .about two weeks ago, he, uh. . .

. . .helped a sister buy a house.

-What do you mean? -Yeah.

Yeah, he, uh. . .

See, her baby's daddy O.D.'d, right,

and left her. . .

. . .homeless, and she had, like, all this debt,

and he shows up one day with, like. . .

. . .like, fuck, 20 G's, man, boom!

-Just gave it to her. -The Maybach. . .

-ADDlCT: Hmm? -Nothing.

Doesn't that just allow people to keep living like this

instead of getting sober and cleaning up their lives?

-l mean-- -What?

You rather. . .

. . .they get AlDS?

Bring it home to their family and their kids?

-No. -You sure you're his brother, man?

MlLO: That didn't come out right. l mean--

You'd be surprised how far a little love and just care goes.

People need that.

-MlLO: [ Knocks on door ] -LEO: Come on in.

-MlLO: Oh, shit! -LEO: lt's okay. You can film this.

MlLO: This is like your office, huh?

What are you doing with the water?

LEO: l'm. . . getting ready to cook.

MlLO: l've never seen this in real life before.

That is so nasty, dude.

lt's not what it looks like in the movies at all.

You always see a bunch of guys getting all euphoric after they fix.

Bunch of dramatic movie bullshit.

-MlLO: What does it feel like? -Used to feel fucking amazing.

lmagine. . .

. . .floating on. . .

. . .a billion tiny satin pillows.

And then imagine, when you weren't that high,

what used to just feel normal

now feels lower than you've ever felt before.

lt used to give me this sense of meaning and oneness

about everything,

but now l just fix not to get sick.

l don't even get high anymore.

A little high.

[ Laughs ]

MlLO: Whoa, are you shooting your foot?

Dude, it's all infected. What are you doing?

Well, l can't watch. lt makes me nauseous.

LEO: That's right.

You get nauseous when you see a papercut.

MlLO: Come on, man. Let's go.

We'll figure something out. We'll get you to rehab.

[ Chuckles, sighs ]

You don't have to do this.

Dude, we still got, like, an hour and a half.

We're gonna figure something out. We always do.

l can just take one more big shot and go to sleep for good.

No, don't be ridiculous.

Yeah, and then. . .

. . .it'll all be over, and you'll go back to your life.

Oh, no. Don't say that, man.

Please.

Come on. Let's go.

[ Leo blows on candle ]

There you guys are! Where the fuck have you been?

Get in the car. l have an idea.

MlLO: Where we going?

Come on. Carmen left with Brad,

but l got the weed, and we have a plan.

MlLO: What is this place? Where'd you hear about this?

My new friends in Watts told me about this guy.

This guy will buy anything for anything.

lt's a last-ditch effort.

We got to get rid of this weed. We got to see if it's going to work.

Just follow my lead, okay?

-MlLO: Carmen gave you the weed? -BELLA: l have an idea.

-Carmen gave you the weed? -Yeah, it's in the car.

BELLA: Do you see a doorbell?

SHASTA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. l'm coming.

l got my gloves on. . .

BELLA: Hi. Mr. Shasta?

SHASTA: Yeah, that's right.

Well, what you be doing here? What y'all be filming?

-BELLA: We are, um-- -You got a license for that shit?

Yeah, absolutely. Actually, we're here--

SHASTA: Disturbing me on my day of rest.

l'm so sorry. We're here -- a friend of yours recommended you

because we're actually from a new cable reality show,

and we are doing a segment on high-rollin' strollers.

Kind of a ''Cribs''-type show.

Ziggy sent you?

lt's not Ziggy. lt's a friend of yours actually down in Watts.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Watts.

That's the real shit. That's the down low, man. That's the real--

BELLA: We can maybe come in and talk some business propositions?

SHASTA: Yeah that's right. Watch the feet. Watch the feet.

Watch the feet. And then, watch the-- bam! -- right in the face.

-Mr. Shasta? -Yo.

l just wanna check out your facilities and see if they qualify.

Oh, yeah, l'm so sorry. My hospitality was all down.

l was meditating. l was thinking about Buddha, ganja.

l was thinking about Yoda.

Welcome to the Shasta domain.

That's right. Shasta domain's always ready for a fight.

Ready for somebody to come in here and fight it.

Bam! -- right in the face.

You found the number-one rolling crib in the house, man.

This shit is rolling, rolling.

l got my fine piano here.

l got real magical fingers. You can't hear right now--

Mr. Shasta, we don't actually have that much time.

We just need to make sure you're a high roller.

l am a high roller!

l roll like l'm tall. And l got TVs.

l can watch The Brady Bunch, Jetsons,

l can watch all five big screens at once.

-[ Shasta's cell phone rings ] -l got to take this.

You know, l be getting calls all the time.

Oh. Yeah, please, take your time.

-Yo, who this? -Oh, my God!

No, l had to erase it because people be calling.

lch hab" nicht gesagt, Mami, ich brauch" dein...

Look, Mom, l'll call you later. l got people from the television here.

lt's really important.

Ja, ich ruf' dich an spater.

All right. All right, girl.

Peace.

But, as you can see, we are in the front room here.

This is where magic be happening -- over here, over here.

lt be happening all around.

And we are stars. Everybody's a star.

Come here. Check it out, Cameraman.

This right here -- that look beautiful, don't it?

That is the eye.

Now, that's made from the skins of an endangered species of stingray.

Actually, that's the fake eye to mislead the predator.

You calling my cover ''fake'', man?

l paid, like, beaucoup for that, man. That's the real deal, right there.

That's the real deal.

The eye is fake.

Don't be coming into my house and telling me my shit is fake.

l let everybody in here, and now you be saying my shit is fake?

No, Mr. Shasta, l think he's just admiring that.

The eye is fake to mislead the predator.

Okay, l hear what you're saying, man.

l was just playin'. l was just playin'.

Fantastic.

SHASTA: lt's -- yeah. lt's, it's, it's -- l love it.

This my baby.

Shasta, is there any way we could sit down and have a little chat?

Because we have, l think, an offer that you might be interested in.

Oh, yeah, man.

We could be sitting, like --

you know, let me slip into something a little more comfortable,

and then, uh, you know,

we could, uh, we could talk about shit.

Please have a seat. Please, Producer, have a seat.

Cameraman, come on over. Don't be shy.

So tell me. . . what do you do?

Well, l'm an artist.

l mean, Shasta's an artist and producer,

a rapper, a hip-hopper, l'm a fighter.

l know heads in, like, N.Y.C., L.A., Denver. . .

BELLA: So, how do you make your. . .?

SHASTA: l have been blessed,

l've mean, bless-ed, blesses, blessings--

BELLA: Trust fund?

That's right. l'm a ''Trust-afari.'' Shast-i.

So, we may have some party favors

to offer you for your next soiree.

Right, right. Like firecrackers, like--

My producer here has some tree that you might be interested in.

l got -- you want to trapeze?

l got trees outside that can swing into the pool.

We did that at one party.

BELLA: Some marijuana.

Oh, yeah, right! l was just playin'.

Yeah, that's right! Marijuana!

Shit! Of course!

l mean, you can't have no party without no trees!

All right. My partner and l happened to come across

a pound of medical-grade chronic.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my -- God bless Allah. Be praised, Rastafari!

Thank you very much!

This ain't legal, is it? Man, we can't be like--

BELLA: Oh, yeah. We're talking medical grade.

Oh, the legal illegal! The new medical grade!

The new -- that shit, they chemically enhance it.

-That's really strong. -BELLA: Oh, it's strong.

And l think we can give him a deal, because, you know?

All right, we're willing to let it go for $1 56.25 an ounce.

-32 ounces in a pound. -SHASTA: That's right.

-1 56 times 32 equals 5 G. -SHASTA: Right.

l feel like l'm being. . .

BOTH: Robbed.

Excuse me one second. . .

-Are you sure you want--? -SHASTA: Talk amongst yourselves.

BELLA: That's a pretty amazing deal.

-LEO: He seems cool. -BELLA: We can get way more.

He's got a very nice house, and we are in a situation.

5 G's, one pound. . . Let me see -- one, five. . .

lt's gonna be -- carry the. . .

Um. . .

Can you tell me the numbers again?

BELLA: Obviously, we need cash.

-BELLA: There it is. -SHASTA: Oh, my God!

-BELLA: There you go. -SHASTA: Oh, my God! That. . .

Oh, my God!

Oh. . .

Oh, man, that's the sticky-icky! That's the Bin Laden armpit!

That's like cave hopping--

Plus this to seal the deal. To match your bike.

SHASTA: Aw, you shouldn't have, man.

BELLA: We got to go.

You guys are, like, my nice best friends.

Come here, you! Come here!

MlLO: Holy shit! Run! Run before he changes his mind!

l think we're gonna be early, guys!

Like, 20 minutes early.

What you eating, Taco?

What you eating?

-Oh, shit. -BELLA: What?

-MlLO: Oh, shit. -LEO: What?

He just ate the laxatives.

-BELLA: What?! -The Mexican laxatives.

BELLA: Oh, my God! He's going to have an ass-plosion!

Poor Taco! Oh, no, Taco!

-MlLO: You better pull over. -BELLA: l can't.

l'm on the fucking freeway. How am l going to pull over?

LEO: Yeah, that's gonna smell bad. You're not going to like that at all.

-MlLO: What the fuck? -BELLA: What? What is that?

-LEO: What? -BELLA: ls that a cop?

-ls that for me? -MlLO: Shit! Fuck!

Oh, my God, we are so fucked!

BELLA: Was l speeding?

-LEO: Bella, just switch with me. -BELLA: No!

-MlLO: No, no, no. Be reasonable. -BELLA: What? No! Leo!

-LEO: Better me than you. -BELLA: No! Are you crazy?

l'm not switching with you!

You don't wanna fucking go to prison for a stolen car, Bella!

-l'm not moving! -You don't want a fucking record!

BELLA: l'm a first-time offender. l'll be fine! Leo!

Stop it! Are you fucking crazy? Stop it!

-Are you crazy?! -MlLO: Leo!

We'll just explain to them what happened -- Leo!

LEO: Just switch with me! BELLA: Leo! Stop it!

-[ Siren wails ] -Get the fuck off of me!

What the fuck are you doing? This is insane!

You're gonna go to fucking prison after everything we've done today?

-Stop! -MlLO: Leo, Leo! l got an idea.

Just tell them you're me. Tell them you're me!

LEO: l've done that. That's why you don't have a driver's license.

-BELLA: Stop. -LEO: Just relax.

BELLA: No!

-Do you know why l stopped you? -No, Officer.

A couple of reasons --

your left taillight's out, and you almost hit two cars back there.

-l'm sorry, l-- -You been drinking tonight?

No, it's our dog. He's been jumping up and down.

Taco, platz! Platz!

POLlCEMAN: Your license and registration.

LEO: l don't have a license and registration.

POLlCEMAN: l'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle.

LEO: Okay.

[ Open-door signal dings, Leo clears throat ]

Milo, turn it off.

LEO: All right? lt's up to you, but l have 1 0 minutes to get there.

We'll walk there.

My brother and his wife, they have a dog--

POLlCEMAN: Hey, shut that camera off now!

What's going on with the police dog?

How did you come up with a police dog?

LEO: We're trying to raise money to get into rehab.

We're trying to sell him.

No one would buy him.

Actually, he's trained in Germany.

[ Taco barks ]

-BELLA: Bye, Taco! Bye, Taco! -MlLO: Bye, Taco!

Oh, my God!

[ Laughs ]

Come on! We gotta hurry!

BELLA: That was insane!

LEO: See? lt's dangerous living with an addict.

-Now you"re shooting. -BELLA: l'm just a casual user, see?

-l can stop whenever l want. -MlLO: Yeah, right.

Bella, we got 1 0 minutes. Come on!

BELLA: How far is it?

BELLA: All right, let me get a shot of the brothers' triumphant arrival.

Do you know how annoying that is?

[ Bella laughs ]

We made it!

Should we come in with you?

-l got it. -You sure?

-Yeah. -You got the money?

LEO: See you in six months.

Each day better than the next, right?

Exactly. Every day gets worse, like l always say.

BELLA: Bye!

[ Leo chuckles ]

Bye!

-[ Bella squeals ] -MlLO: Hey, hey! What's the matter?

Handshake ain't good enough for you?

[ Bella and Milo laugh ]

Tell Carmen l love her.

Bye.

Thanks.

MlLO: Now what are we going to do?

-BELLA: We'll figure it out. -MlLO: We don't have a car.

-BELLA: We'll make it back. -MlLO: Should we take a bus?

BELLA: Do they have buses in L.A.?

MlLO: Come on!

Let's see how he's adjusting.

BELLA: lt's been an hour.

MlLO: We just dropped off my brother.

About an hour ago.

Leonardo Strombo. Yeah, Leo!

l just want to see how he's doing.

What do you mean?

Okay.

Thank you.

BELLA: What happened?

He left.