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1
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,129
Hello, moviegoers.
2
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,327
I am Dr. Arnold Quackenshaw.
3
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,337
I'm here to explain to you...
4
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:29,136
the wondrous screen gimmick,
Odorama.
5
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:32,234
Odorama will enable you,
the viewer...
6
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:35,907
to actually smell,
right from your movie seat...
7
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:40,214
some of life's
most fragrant odors.
8
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,584
The producers of this film...
9
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:47,058
have unselfishly spent
untold millions of dollars...
10
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,027
to develop
this startling process.
11
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,328
And I, I have been locked away
for many years...
12
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,061
in the laboratory...
13
00:00:56,089 --> 00:01:00,560
experimenting
with this mind-boggling project.
14
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:05,543
I would like to share with you
some of my research.
15
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,069
All right, first of all...
16
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:11,173
this...is the nose.
17
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,411
The most prominent part
of the human face.
18
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,217
It bears the nostrils
und covers the nasal passages.
19
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:22,057
We all have one, this nose,
call it what you will--
20
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:27,122
sneezer, schnoz, beak,
smeller, snout, schnoot“
21
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,656
it all means the same thing.
22
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,259
Through this nose...
23
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,396
comes some of life's
most rewarding sensations...
24
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,600
und we plan to share with you...
25
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:39,839
some of the most beautiful odors
known to mankind.
26
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,972
Unfortunately, this same nose...
27
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:46,644
is also responsible
for bringing us some odors...
28
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,415
that are rather repulsive.
29
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:54,017
We have not shied away
from this distressing fact.
30
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:58,860
You will experience some odors
that may shock you...
31
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,762
but the producers
of this film...
32
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,360
believe that today's audiences
are mature enough...
33
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,736
to accept the fact
that some things in life...
34
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:11,038
just plain stink.
35
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,635
All right, now,
this is the product...
36
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,943
of our endless
experimentation...
37
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,882
the Odorama card.
38
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:21,545
The card is actually
quite simple to operate.
39
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,681
Just listen carefully
und follow my instructions.
40
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,817
When a number appears
on the screen...
41
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:31,819
that is your signal
to scratch and to sniff...
42
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,924
the same number
on your Odorama card.
43
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,195
Use anything you want
to scratch it.
44
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:42,264
Use a key, a coin.
Use your fingernail.
45
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,536
Number one...
46
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,441
Now, sniff it, number one.
47
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,309
You get it? You smell it?
48
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,942
It works.
By God, it actually works!
49
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:57,046
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Odorama.
50
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:11,381
Down with smut!
Down with smut!
51
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,554
The porno king!
52
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:28,030
Smut king! You bought this house
with the profits of porno!
53
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,931
Children are going to hell
because of your theater.
54
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,304
What have you got to say to him?
55
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,309
Children under 12, $1.50.
56
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:41,107
Please show "Benji"!
Please show G-rated movies!
57
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,909
Garbage and filth!
58
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,075
Elmer, thank God you're home.
59
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:48,018
Get off of me! Why haven't you
notified the press?
60
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,384
Think of the publicity!
61
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,650
The theater will be packed
tomorrow night.
62
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,284
Please don't call the press.
It's bad enough already.
63
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,727
All the neighborhood women
spit at me in the shopping mall.
64
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,891
You wouldn't be in the mall
if it wasn't for my theater.
65
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,923
Hello? Channel 12 News?
66
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:06,597
This is Elmer Fishpaw,
538 Wyman Way.
67
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,765
I'm the owner
of the Charles Art Theater.
68
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,867
You might want to send
a mini-cam crew to my home.
69
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,707
Mini-cam?! Elmer, please!
70
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:14,973
The Citizens for Decent Films...
71
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,538
are violently demonstrating
on my front lawn.
72
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,641
Filth!
73
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,778
Elmer, there are more of them
out there.
74
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,186
I'll never be able
to show my face in church again!
75
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,952
I'll be excommunicated
because of you!
76
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,358
Stop that yammering
and fix me a drink.
77
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,362
- What do we love?
- Decency!
78
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,887
- What do we hate?
- Filth!
79
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,866
Down with smut!
80
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,563
Here, Bonkers.
81
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,265
Here's little Bonkers.
82
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,672
Bonkers is Daddy's little baby.
83
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,907
Bonkers knows who's boss
in this house.
84
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,504
Give me a little kiss, Bonkers.
85
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:53,211
That a little doggie.
Little doggie!
86
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,116
You are so cute, Bonkers.
87
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,382
Elmer,
that dog stinks to high heaven.
88
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,651
You'll be permeated by his odor.
89
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:04,355
Well, this whole world stinks,
so get used to it.
90
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,125
You and that big nose
of yours...
91
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,496
are starting
to get on my nerves.
92
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,559
Snorting around the place
like a goddamn anteater.
93
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,868
I've about had it with you.
Give me that drink!
94
00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:16,840
- Yes, dear.
-Hurry up!
95
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,506
- What do we hate?
- Filth!
96
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:28,041
Lu-Lu, dinner's ready!
97
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,382
I'll be down in a minute.
98
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,691
Dexter, honey,
dinner's on the table.
99
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,742
Elmer, dinner's sewed.
100
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,176
I'm in here waiting for it!
101
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:04,389
Elmer, let's try and have
a pleasant family dinner.
102
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:07,392
Let's be kind to the other
members of the family.
103
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,554
I'll try, Francine,
but don't go riling me up.
104
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,792
Choose your words with care,
and I won't get riled.
105
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,163
Yes, dear.
106
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,031
Lu-Lu,
your hair looks so pretty.
107
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,502
I know.
108
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,129
Dexter,
did you do your homework, honey?
109
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,071
Sure, sure.
110
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:27,442
Can we say grace?
Can we at least do that?
111
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,913
Bless us, O Lord,
and these Thy gifts...
112
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,883
which we are about
to receive from Thy bounty...
113
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,512
through Christ our Lord. Amen.
114
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,352
Don't answer it!
115
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,620
It's a TV crew!
116
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,959
I'll handle that.
You all stay here.
117
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,986
Mr. Fishpaw,
would you step out, please?
118
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,556
Why, certainly.
119
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:55,029
Mr. Fishpaw, I'm Jerry Haller
from Channel 12 News.
120
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,904
I was wondering,
could you make a comment...
121
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,570
on this demonstration against
your X-rated movie theater?
122
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,545
I'll show any movie
I wanna show.
123
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,548
This is a free country,
isn't it?
124
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,210
Our current attraction
is "My Burning Bush."
125
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:10,153
We have shows daily at 2:00,
4:00, 6:00, 8:00, and 10:00!
126
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,890
Leave us alone!
Please, leave us alone!
127
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,987
My family hasn't done anything
to you.
128
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,958
I'm a good Christian woman!
129
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,441
Two-four-six-eight!
130
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,016
All that free publicity.
131
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,522
I can't wait to see
the 11:00 news.
132
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,458
- Excuse me? Excuse me?
- What the hell?
133
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,620
Excuse me,
my name's Freddy Ashton.
134
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,494
I'm sorry if I caught you
at a bad time.
135
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,397
I have a date
with your daughter, Lu-Lu.
136
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,458
She didn't say anything to me
about a date.
137
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,936
- It is a school night.
- Yes, ma'am, I know.
138
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:03,031
We're going to work on
our term papers at the library.
139
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,803
You take care of this, Francine.
140
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:08,108
I'm gonna fix myself a big drink
and get into bed.
141
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,740
I've got a big day
counting money tomorrow.
142
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,340
Nice meeting you, Mr. Fishpaw.
143
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,818
Have a nice night!
144
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,084
I think it's disgraceful
the way your neighbors act.
145
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,920
Very kind of you to say so,
Freddy.
146
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,584
- Won't you sit down?
- Thank you.
147
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,389
I didn't get your last name?
148
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,057
Ashton.
149
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,796
You're not by any chance
a friend of Bo-Bo Belsingers?
150
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,600
You see,
Lu-Lu's forbidden to see him.
151
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,231
Oh, no, ma'am.
152
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:41,977
Hi, Freddy.
153
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,378
Where did you get that outfit?
154
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,474
I borrowed it.
Do you like it?
155
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,916
That's a new garment, Lu-Lu.
156
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,385
I can smell it.
157
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,251
Have you been shoplifting again?
158
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,278
I bought it with money I saved.
159
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,690
What money?
You don't have a job.
160
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,455
Boys at school give me money.
161
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:59,224
- For what?
- For dancing at lunch period!
162
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,562
You dance lewdly for the boys
at lunch period?
163
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,033
For a quarter I will.
164
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,626
Stop that dancing!
165
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,432
Don't be upset, Mrs. Fishpaw.
166
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,531
Puberty brings on
strange behavior in adolescents.
167
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,566
I'll take good care of her.
Have a nice night.
168
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,976
Good-bye, children.
169
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,746
Don't be late,
it's a school night.
170
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,081
Freddy, drive carefully.
171
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:24,179
Lu-Lu, you have fifteen cents
to call home--
172
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:26,417
l sure do!
173
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,518
Well, be a good girl. Bye!
174
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,092
Lu-Lu, you look so nice tonight.
175
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,192
Freddy, you're so polite.
176
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:45,867
We're gonna have such fun.
177
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:52,675
OK, bird-brain,
it's gonna cost you ten bucks.
178
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,548
Pull down by the golf course.
179
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,248
Lu-Lu, don't try to shock me,
'cause it's not gonna work.
180
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,018
We're going to the library
to study.
181
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,083
Too cheap?
Come on, get moving!
182
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,095
Lu-Lu, stay on your side!
183
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,758
Give it some gas!
184
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:19,269
See you later, chump.
185
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,872
Bo-Bo!
186
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,513
Lu-Lu, we'd better be
getting to the library.
187
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:34,252
You ain't going anywhere
with this little lady, faggot!
188
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,624
I believe I had a date with her,
Bo-Bo.
189
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,356
Get lost, moron!
190
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,959
See you later, Freddy!
191
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,765
Go on! Get out of here!
192
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,273
Yeah, shake it all!
Come on, get down!
193
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,673
Hot damn,yeah!
194
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:52,972
Shake it, Lu-Lu!
195
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,774
Let's go!
196
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,106
Come on, yeah.
197
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:02,051
Come on, girl.
198
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,578
Look what I got.
199
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,645
All right!
200
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,750
Let's go downtown
and play some pool!
201
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:39,955
White honky!
202
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,686
You crazy cracker!
203
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,955
What's wrong with these children
of today?
204
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,089
Don't he know he just hit one
of the sisters of the church?
205
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,330
I'm sick and tired of what
these children are doing--
206
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,439
Police!
207
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:44,679
I don't know what's happening!
208
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,018
Let's get out of here!
209
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,650
Help!
210
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,754
I didn't do nothing!
211
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,231
Don't stop.
212
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,400
Baltimore Police
today reported...
213
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,877
they had no suspects in
the Baltimore Foot-Stomper Case.
214
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,380
Described as a thin,
white teenage male...
215
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,576
the stomper struck twice
this week...
216
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,518
seriously injuring the feet
of two Baltimore women.
217
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,043
Come on! Where's my footage?
218
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,214
Miss Betty Lazinski...
219
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,087
a waitress at the White
Coffee Pot Restaurant...
220
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:22,114
was released
from the hospital today...
221
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,594
and talked with Channel 12 News.
222
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,893
Some people think
this is funny...
223
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,423
but I have three broken toes
to show for it.
224
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,060
Did the stomper say anything?
225
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,093
Come on! Come on!
Where's my footage?!
226
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,970
He didn't say nothing.
He just stomped on my foot!
227
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,170
- In other news...
- Shut up! Here it is.
228
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,146
...picketed the home
of Mr. Elmer Fishpaw today.
229
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,581
Mr. Fishpaw is the owner
of the Charles Art Theater...
230
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,585
a local X-rated movie house.
231
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:52,078
Two-four-six-eight,
X-rated movies we all hate!
232
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:56,992
One-three-five-nine,
G-rated movies are mighty fine!
233
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,826
The pickets, led by Mrs.
Jeanette Smise of Townsend...
234
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,355
feel he should
change the theater's policy...
235
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:05,631
by showing only G-rated
family movies.
236
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,969
His theater
caters to sex offenders.
237
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,999
We visited
the Charles Art Theater today...
238
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,272
but were unable
to find a ticket buyer...
239
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,338
willing to be interviewed
on camera.
240
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,010
Sir, would you like to comment
on the movie you've just seen?
241
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,645
Excuse me. Would you like
to comment on the movie?
242
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,655
Excuse me, sir.
Pardon me, sir, would--
243
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,782
Pardon me, sir, would you like
to comment on the movie?
244
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:30,089
Mr. Fishpaw when contacted
by Channel 12 News...
245
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,390
Here I am!
246
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:32,953
...responded to the protesters.
247
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,659
I think that my theater
helps stop rape.
248
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:39,898
Mrs. Fishpaw, however,
refused to talk with reporters.
249
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,705
I've never been so humiliated.
250
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,941
In other news...
251
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,608
a member of the Charles Manson
Family escaped today...
252
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:53,639
from the California
Institute for Women...
253
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,050
at Frontera, California.
254
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,052
That's all?!
255
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,145
She was identified as--
256
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,985
They didn't even
give the showtime.
257
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,355
I have never been
so embarrassed.
258
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,382
Yellow journalism,
that's what it is.
259
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,919
Oh, God. It's not fair.
260
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,761
What the hell are you doing?
261
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,357
Saying my prayers, Elmer.
262
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:12,961
Asking God to forgive you
for showing dirty movies.
263
00:18:12,992 --> 00:18:14,562
I don't believe this.
264
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,074
I got a goddamn nun for a wife.
265
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:29,549
I'm not in the mood.
266
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,079
Oh, Sandra.
267
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:08,422
Oh, Sandra!
Easy, San--
268
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,790
Easy, Sandra!
269
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,321
The White Tables Motel?!
270
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,077
Get up, Francine, you big oaf!
I want some breakfast.
271
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,205
What time is it?
272
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,182
Time to get that fat ass
out of bed.
273
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,209
I guess I'll have
to fix my own cereal!
274
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,289
- You pig!
-You're the pig!
275
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,860
Sit up straight.
276
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:22,160
Why don't you
let that hair grow, boy?
277
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,759
You look like a fruit
with that short hair.
278
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,098
Why don't you drop dead?
279
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,273
You're just asking for it.
280
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:33,337
How's my baby doing in school?
281
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:37,643
I learned all about my cervix
in sex education class.
282
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,149
I gotta go-
283
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,548
Me, too.
284
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,247
Good morning, darling.
285
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,986
I don't know why
I slept so late.
286
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,392
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See you later.
287
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,158
I got a busy day.
288
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,892
Oh, Elmer!
289
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,410
Francine!
290
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,382
I'm in the little girl's room,
Mother.
291
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,422
Can't you do that later?
292
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,126
I don't have all day, you know.
293
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,601
I'm missing
valuable shopping time.
294
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,763
Mother, please,
I'll be out in a second.
295
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,103
I don't know why you bother.
296
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,701
You've always retained
your fluids.
297
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,810
Hello, Mother.
298
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:54,322
Good Lord, Francine.
299
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:57,225
You've put on
another twenty pounds!
300
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,059
Au revoir, Heintz.
301
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:03,931
Should I go to the Laundromat
now, Madame, or wait for you?
302
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:08,029
You can go now, Heintz.
I'll...if I need you.
303
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,903
As you wish, Madame.
304
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,169
It's Cuddles.
305
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:12,642
Good Lord, Francine.
306
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,110
Don't you know it's bad luck...
307
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,737
to let retarded people
in your home?
308
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,145
Call me a cab,this instant.
309
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,910
But, Mother,
she's my best friend.
310
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,474
Your best friend?!
311
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:23,248
She was your cleaning lady,
Francine.
312
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,982
Are you that unpopular...
313
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:28,082
that you seek out
the social company of your maid?
314
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:29,751
But she's not a maid anymore,
Mother.
315
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,261
She inherited
a great deal of money...
316
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,956
from a family
she used to work for.
317
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:36,558
Money or not--
The injustice of it all!
318
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:38,535
She was a scrub woman!
319
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:41,470
Give her car fare,
a ham at Easter...
320
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:44,804
but for God's sakes,
don't hang around with her!
321
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:47,333
Are you going to call me a cab,
or do I have to walk?
322
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,640
Yes, Mother.
323
00:22:52,738 --> 00:22:54,877
Good God.
324
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,614
Hi, Francine.
325
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:57,780
Hi, Cuddles.
326
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,721
You remember my mother, La Rue?
327
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,190
Enchante.
328
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:04,285
Well, well, well.
Off work so early?
329
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,853
Scrubbed out
any interesting toilets lately?
330
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:07,864
Mother, please.
331
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,423
Thank God, my cab.
332
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,363
Cuddles,
I'm so glad you're here.
333
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:19,342
Francine,
I'm in a heavenly mood today.
334
00:23:19,365 --> 00:23:23,006
I just got my second installment
of my inheritance.
335
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:25,242
Let's celebrate.
336
00:23:25,271 --> 00:23:27,877
That calls for a big lunch.
337
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,888
Yummy,yummy,yummy!
338
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:38,023
This house is just like
"Architectural Digest."
339
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,791
Thank you, Cuddles.
340
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:42,765
Cuddles,
I've been so depressed lately.
341
00:23:42,788 --> 00:23:45,325
You should get out more.
342
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:48,827
Bachelor cotillions,
parties, country clubs.
343
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,863
I've been on top
of the world lately...
344
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:53,103
with my debutante party
coming up.
345
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:55,840
Cuddles, you're too old
to be a debutante.
346
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:57,905
Just because you've inherited
a lot of money...
347
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,577
doesn't mean that you're
suddenly socially prominent.
348
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:03,280
I've already rented the hall,
Francine.
349
00:24:03,309 --> 00:24:05,016
November the 10th.
350
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:07,820
It will be a beautiful affair.
351
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,725
Every little detail
will be perfect.
352
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,660
I wish I could be
more like you, Cuddles.
353
00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,426
Always optimistic.
354
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:18,629
I look into my future and all
I see is a long, dark highway...
355
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:21,934
filled with endless
toll booths and no exits.
356
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,838
I'll be quite blunt with you,
Cuddles.
357
00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:26,775
I think my marriage
is on the rocks.
358
00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:34,075
Hello, Mrs. Fishpaw?
359
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,882
This is Sandra Sullivan,
your husband's secretary.
360
00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:38,547
Elmer asked me
to let you know...
361
00:24:38,577 --> 00:24:40,113
that he won't
be coming home tonight.
362
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,022
He's been called
out of town on business.
363
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,721
I see. Thank you.
364
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:55,865
She fell for it.
365
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:58,636
Oh, God,
what she must look like.
366
00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,075
Want to see a picture of her?
367
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:02,204
Oh, God, yes.
368
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:03,679
This I got to see.
369
00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:05,147
The bitter truth.
370
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:10,185
Elmer, she's an absolute cow!
371
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:17,893
Elmer,
I have something to show you.
372
00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:22,059
You know what these are?
373
00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:25,159
Yes, sirree.
Oral contraceptives.
374
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:29,400
They'll suppress
my ovulations through hormones.
375
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:33,171
I got something for you, Sandra.
376
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:35,769
I got condoms.
377
00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:38,042
Red-hot prophylactics.
378
00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:40,812
Black, your favorite color.
379
00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:43,410
Oh, go, honey!
380
00:25:43,442 --> 00:25:45,854
Oh, Elmer, you do that so good.
381
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:49,416
Come on, honey.
Move for me, baby.
382
00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:53,658
Maybe he really did
go out of town, Francine.
383
00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:56,928
No, he's having an affair
with his secretary...
384
00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:58,400
and I have the proof.
385
00:25:58,424 --> 00:26:00,404
Look what l found in his pocket.
386
00:26:00,426 --> 00:26:03,270
A Mastercharge receipt,
dated yesterday.
387
00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:06,572
From the White Gables Motel!
388
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:09,238
I'll get it, Francine.
389
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,111
Ello-hay?
390
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,080
Old-hay on-ay.
391
00:26:14,106 --> 00:26:15,847
For you, Francine.
392
00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:23,553
Mrs. Fishpaw?
This is Mr. Kirk...
393
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,357
principal of Overlee
Junior High School.
394
00:26:25,384 --> 00:26:26,920
Hello, Mr. Kirk.
395
00:26:26,952 --> 00:26:28,693
Is Dexter ill today?
396
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,700
Why, no, Mr. Kirk.
Dexter's in school.
397
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,225
I'm afraid he's not,
Mrs. Fishpaw.
398
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:36,603
Dexter's truancy problem
is way out of hand.
399
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,073
And the Baltimore
County School Board...
400
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,770
have decided to expel Dexter...
401
00:26:39,798 --> 00:26:41,675
from the entire
public school system.
402
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:45,273
I'm as upset as you
to learn of Dexter's truancy.
403
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:48,012
But surely expulsion
is not the answer!
404
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,247
I'm afraid expulsion
is the only answer.
405
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,050
It is the opinion
of the entire staff...
406
00:26:52,077 --> 00:26:54,353
that Dexter
is criminally insane...
407
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,689
and a hazard to the safety
of the other students.
408
00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,252
We have no choice. I'm sorry.
409
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:00,695
Good day, Mrs. Fishpaw.
410
00:27:07,526 --> 00:27:09,665
Dexter's been expelled
from school!
411
00:27:09,695 --> 00:27:12,266
- For what?
- For truancy!
412
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:15,335
It's just those common
Baltimore public schools.
413
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:17,973
God, I wished
I lived in Connecticut.
414
00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:20,916
The principal said
that he was insane!
415
00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:24,011
He's probably out playing polo
with his friends.
416
00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:28,422
Do you think there is something
wrong with my son?
417
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:19,434
God!
418
00:28:19,464 --> 00:28:21,569
Help!
419
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:25,571
Oh, my God! Help!
420
00:28:25,604 --> 00:28:27,948
Is anybody gonna help me?!
421
00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:31,384
If my son
does have emotional problems...
422
00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:34,414
I can only blame Elmer.
423
00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:37,757
Cuddles, go to
the White Gables Motel for me...
424
00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:40,525
call me if you see his car.
425
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:44,261
You mean like a SPY, Francine?
426
00:28:44,289 --> 00:28:47,065
You got yourself a deal!
427
00:28:49,127 --> 00:28:50,629
Ach, my goodness.
428
00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:11,226
Hurry, Heintz.
Emergency, emergency.
429
00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:14,328
Hurry, Heintz.
430
00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:18,130
Don't ask any questions.
431
00:29:18,156 --> 00:29:20,659
Make a fast right.
Circle the block.
432
00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:24,071
Head straight to the White Gable
Motel, and hurry!
433
00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,303
Yes, ma'am.
434
00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:28,072
Hurry, Heintz.
435
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:33,071
Lu-Lu? Lu-Lu, is that you?
436
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:36,382
Lu-Lu? Oh. Hi, honey.
437
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:41,781
Oh, Lu-Lu.
Home from school already?
438
00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:43,383
Unfortunately, yes.
439
00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:45,190
Did you have a nice day?
440
00:29:45,217 --> 00:29:47,424
Lu-Lu,
your mother is speaking to you.
441
00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:50,262
Did you have a nice day?
442
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:55,295
Lu-Lu!
I'm trying to clean in here!
443
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:58,035
I got my report card today.
Want to see it?
444
00:29:58,063 --> 00:30:00,339
Have you done any better
this time?
445
00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:06,573
Lu-Lu, you have failed
every single subject again!
446
00:30:06,605 --> 00:30:09,449
No, Ma.
They changed the grading system.
447
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:10,919
"F" is for "Fantastic."
448
00:30:10,942 --> 00:30:12,285
You little liar.
449
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:14,257
It's a good thing
you're not Pinocchio.
450
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:16,190
Your nose would be a mile long.
451
00:30:16,214 --> 00:30:18,660
I swear to God
on the Bible it's true!
452
00:30:18,684 --> 00:30:20,527
Stop that lying!
453
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:23,089
I got voted president
of Student Council today.
454
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:24,099
Liar mouth!
455
00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:26,762
- I'm a cheerleader, too!
- Liar! Liar!
456
00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:28,669
I'll tell you another thing,
Mother.
457
00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:30,230
I quit school today...
458
00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:33,266
and I'm gonna get me a job
as a go-go girl...
459
00:30:33,298 --> 00:30:35,574
down at
the Flaming Cave Lounge.
460
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,581
You'll work at the Flaming Cave
Lounge over my dead body.
461
00:30:38,603 --> 00:30:42,050
You go to your room, and you
stay there until I call you!
462
00:30:47,646 --> 00:30:49,216
I'll work where I wanna work!
463
00:30:49,247 --> 00:30:53,389
You've never worked
a day in your life. Fat cow!
464
00:30:53,418 --> 00:30:56,297
I'm not gonna stay
in this stinking house!
465
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,658
Hi, honey.
466
00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:26,652
Hey, baby. Come here.
467
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:33,396
Come on. Let's get out of here.
I hate this place.
468
00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:34,403
All right.
469
00:31:34,426 --> 00:31:36,201
You're all beat up.
470
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,105
It ain't nothing.
471
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,049
Any sign of him, Heintz?
472
00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:54,489
Not yet, Madame.
473
00:32:07,826 --> 00:32:09,806
You devil, you.
474
00:32:09,828 --> 00:32:11,205
You wait
till I get in that room!
475
00:32:11,229 --> 00:32:13,641
I can't wait, honey.
476
00:32:13,665 --> 00:32:16,544
- I'll be right back.
-You hurry up now.
477
00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:20,778
Heintz,
she's straight from the gutter!
478
00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:23,912
A sporting girl,
I would imagine.
479
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,444
A fille de joie!
480
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:29,391
It saddens me that you have
to see anything this common.
481
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:35,854
Poor Francine!
Poor, poor Francine!
482
00:32:35,887 --> 00:32:37,423
In other news, James Wemo...
483
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,265
accused of
the August 9th bombing...
484
00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:40,827
of the Maryland
Censor Board Office...
485
00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:44,602
has pleaded "not guilty"
in federal court today.
486
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,040
And this just in, folks.
487
00:32:47,332 --> 00:32:50,313
The Baltimore Foot Stomper
has struck again.
488
00:32:50,335 --> 00:32:52,246
Baltimore County Police
report...
489
00:32:52,270 --> 00:32:54,580
the stomper has attacked
a Mrs. Shirley Evans...
490
00:32:54,606 --> 00:32:57,712
just a few minutes ago
at the Crockfield Mall...
491
00:32:57,742 --> 00:33:00,279
and Channel 12 News was there.
492
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,986
I don't want to be
on television!
493
00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:05,517
My foot! Not now!
494
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:08,030
Mrs. Evans was rushed
to the Mercy Hospital...
495
00:33:08,053 --> 00:33:11,330
Shock Trauma Unit
for emergency treatment.
496
00:33:11,356 --> 00:33:14,462
Many Crockfield Mall
shoppers witnessed the attack.
497
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:17,064
I seen it, man! I seen
this weird-looking dude...
498
00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:19,871
run right out and stomp
on this honky lady's feet!
499
00:33:19,898 --> 00:33:22,504
Police released
this composite sketch today...
500
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:25,481
in the hopes that someone
would identify the stomper.
501
00:33:25,504 --> 00:33:27,711
If you have any information...
502
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:31,152
police have asked citizens
to call the Stomper Hot Line.
503
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:37,218
Just dial "STOMPER."
S-T-O-M-P-E-R.
504
00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:11,421
You'll be ready
for the back seat in a minute.
505
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:24,901
Trash!
Don't you touch my daughter!
506
00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:26,773
Take your hands off
my boyfriend!
507
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,835
That's my car!
508
00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:30,278
Come on!
509
00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:32,179
My God!
510
00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:34,649
Hit her, Bo-Bo! Hit her!
511
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:46,891
That's what you deserve,
you big, fat galoot!
512
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:55,530
It was nice beating you,
Mrs. Fishpaw!
513
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:07,648
Dexter, are you all right?
514
00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:09,151
Dexter, what's wrong?
515
00:35:09,174 --> 00:35:10,619
Dexter, talk to me.
516
00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:12,553
Dexter, it's your mother.
517
00:35:12,577 --> 00:35:13,885
Dexter, what is it?
518
00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:17,382
- What's wrong, honey?
- Mom...
519
00:35:17,415 --> 00:35:20,259
Dexter, what are you doing?
520
00:35:23,388 --> 00:35:26,028
Do you want to see
a psychiatrist?
521
00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:27,559
But I love you--
522
00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:28,798
Dexter!
523
00:35:32,163 --> 00:35:33,403
Oh, honey...
524
00:35:40,772 --> 00:35:43,082
You had better watch yourself,
young lady.
525
00:35:43,108 --> 00:35:45,349
You're going to be
in real trouble!
526
00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:49,257
I guess I should tell you
I'm two months pregnant.
527
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,691
You're what?!
528
00:35:50,715 --> 00:35:52,661
I'm knocked up, and that's that!
529
00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:54,220
Who did this to you?
530
00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:57,597
Bo-Bo! The man I love.
531
00:35:57,622 --> 00:36:00,125
I'll never allow you
to marry him.
532
00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,069
Marry him?! Are you kidding?
533
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:04,937
I'm getting an abortion,
and I can't wait!
534
00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:06,909
I cannot take
another heartbreak.
535
00:36:06,931 --> 00:36:09,138
I just cannot take it!
536
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:12,273
Do you think I'm made of steel,
Miss Lu-Lu?
537
00:36:15,774 --> 00:36:18,084
He's here, Francine.
538
00:36:18,109 --> 00:36:21,579
At first I thought
he was walking a dog.
539
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:24,787
Then I realized it was his date.
540
00:36:24,816 --> 00:36:26,318
I'll be right there!
541
00:36:39,130 --> 00:36:43,101
God, Francine, hasn't he
ever heard of the Hilton?
542
00:36:44,302 --> 00:36:47,374
Wait till I get my hands on him.
543
00:36:47,405 --> 00:36:51,114
They went down that way,
but I don't know which room.
544
00:36:51,142 --> 00:36:52,621
I picked up her scent already.
545
00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:54,123
Cheap Midnight in Paris perfume.
546
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:55,852
I can smell it anywhere!
547
00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:00,118
This is it.
Hold this.
548
00:37:01,486 --> 00:37:04,763
One...two...three...
549
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,703
What the hell?!
550
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,034
Coitus interruptus?
551
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,266
Get out of here, Francine!
552
00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:15,637
Caught you, didn't I?
Right in the act of adultery!
553
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:20,307
I won't stand for this, Elmer.
I want a divorce!
554
00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:23,319
And a big, fat settlement
to go along with it!
555
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:24,581
You'll never get a penny
out of me...
556
00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:26,714
you fat hunk of cellulite.
557
00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:28,554
I only support the women I love.
558
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:30,491
See these rings?
559
00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:32,324
Guess who bought them for me.
560
00:37:32,350 --> 00:37:34,489
If you want,
you can look at my clothes.
561
00:37:34,519 --> 00:37:37,022
They're the finest
of polyester, and...
562
00:37:37,055 --> 00:37:40,525
I didn't pay for them.
563
00:37:40,558 --> 00:37:41,866
Don't worry, Francine.
564
00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:45,340
I hear every word
that this scag says...
565
00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:48,003
and I'll testify in court.
566
00:37:48,032 --> 00:37:50,308
Come on, Sandra. Get dressed.
567
00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:53,009
Let's go to some
snazzy cocktail lounge...
568
00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:54,914
and celebrate my new freedom.
569
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:58,148
But, Elmer, what about Dexter
and little Lu-Lu?
570
00:37:58,176 --> 00:37:59,621
Those two little bastards...
571
00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:02,784
are a perfect argument
for birth control.
572
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:08,856
Children would get in the way
of our erotic lifestyle.
573
00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:11,333
You piece of trash!
574
00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:16,734
You'll hear from my attorney!
575
00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,606
Oh, Francine, don't worry.
576
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,173
You'll get another man.
577
00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:29,913
Don't worry.
Everything will be all right.
578
00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:31,784
Take it easy on that sauce.
579
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,915
Don't drink too much, Francine.
580
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:50,187
Hi, Ms. Fishpaw.
This'll be $14.88.
581
00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:51,818
I didn't order anything.
582
00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:54,420
But this is 538 Wyman Way,
isn't it?
583
00:40:54,452 --> 00:40:55,795
I didn't order anything.
584
00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:57,197
It's just my husband
harassing me.
585
00:40:57,221 --> 00:41:00,168
Please leave me alone!
586
00:41:01,559 --> 00:41:03,766
Wait a minute.
587
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:06,241
Come on, lady. Open up.
It's getting cold.
588
00:41:06,264 --> 00:41:07,436
Yo, pizza.
589
00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:40,642
Leave me alone!
590
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:52,245
Having a little
wake-up cocktail?
591
00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:55,052
Your father has been
tormenting me all morning!
592
00:41:55,079 --> 00:41:58,060
That's no excuse.
You big drunk!
593
00:42:00,752 --> 00:42:02,231
What do you think you're doing?
594
00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:04,255
I need money for a cab.
595
00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:06,962
Have you forgotten today's
the day for my abortion?
596
00:42:06,991 --> 00:42:09,699
Lu-Lu, there's a living thing
inside of you.
597
00:42:09,727 --> 00:42:11,866
Oh, Lu-Lu, have the baby.
598
00:42:11,896 --> 00:42:13,671
We'll raise it together.
599
00:42:13,698 --> 00:42:16,440
We'll get a little bassinet
and some Pampers.
600
00:42:16,467 --> 00:42:18,777
Oh, Lu-Lu,
that baby is part of you.
601
00:42:18,803 --> 00:42:21,784
It's stealing part of me,
you mean!
602
00:42:21,806 --> 00:42:23,843
I can feel it like cancer...
603
00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:26,412
getting bigger and bigger,
like the Blob.
604
00:42:26,444 --> 00:42:28,788
One day, it'll rip me open!
605
00:42:28,813 --> 00:42:30,724
And it'll be there in my life...
606
00:42:30,748 --> 00:42:35,697
ready to rob me of every bit
of fun I deserve to have!
607
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:00,884
Look at yourself.
608
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,084
Please!
609
00:43:02,113 --> 00:43:04,787
You better get yourself
to an alcoholics meeting...
610
00:43:04,816 --> 00:43:06,921
before you end up
in the poorhouse!
611
00:43:06,951 --> 00:43:08,157
What's in the bottle, Mother?
612
00:43:08,186 --> 00:43:10,496
Your beloved booze, Francine.
613
00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:12,057
Want a little scent?
614
00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,535
Please,
don't do it to me, Mother.
615
00:43:13,558 --> 00:43:15,663
Want some?
616
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:20,640
You see what an alcoholic
you are?
617
00:43:20,665 --> 00:43:24,340
You'd even drink gasoline
if it was in a bottle.
618
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,212
You stink like an alcoholic!
619
00:43:27,238 --> 00:43:30,708
Positively disgusting!
620
00:43:33,678 --> 00:43:39,026
Francine Fishpaw
lives at 538 Wyman Way.
621
00:43:39,050 --> 00:43:42,088
She weighs 300 pounds...
622
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,191
and is an alcoholic.
623
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:51,338
She eats an entire cake
at one sitting.
624
00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:54,275
You should see
her stretch marks.
625
00:43:55,533 --> 00:43:57,410
Because of her drunkenness...
626
00:43:57,435 --> 00:44:00,109
both her children
are delinquents.
627
00:44:03,841 --> 00:44:06,082
She's the hairiest woman...
628
00:44:06,110 --> 00:44:09,489
I've ever laid eyes on.
629
00:44:32,770 --> 00:44:35,148
What's the matter, ma petite?
630
00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:36,811
Speak English, Cuddles.
631
00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:39,014
Please, speak English.
632
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:41,649
You want a little drinky,
Franciney?
633
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,319
Oh, God.
Help me up. Please.
634
00:44:47,151 --> 00:44:49,563
You're so cute
when you get tipsy.
635
00:44:49,587 --> 00:44:52,568
Oh, Cuddles,
lam an alcoholic.
636
00:44:52,590 --> 00:44:54,797
You should get out more, then,
honey...
637
00:44:54,825 --> 00:44:57,738
and forget
your silly nilly problems.
638
00:44:57,762 --> 00:44:59,833
You got to get me
to the alcoholics meeting.
639
00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:03,107
I'll take you to your
club meeting, Francine...
640
00:45:03,134 --> 00:45:05,944
but first,
you're going shopping with me.
641
00:45:05,970 --> 00:45:08,610
I simply cannot stand
another day...
642
00:45:08,639 --> 00:45:11,552
undecided about
my debutante gown.
643
00:45:11,576 --> 00:45:14,489
I've got to get
to the alcoholics meet--
644
00:45:14,512 --> 00:45:18,187
Heintz! Heintz!
645
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,957
Hurry, Heintz! Hurw!
646
00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:24,529
Hurry! Come on!
Come on, Heintz!
647
00:45:24,555 --> 00:45:27,058
Oh, Francine.
Hurry!
648
00:45:27,091 --> 00:45:28,502
At your service, Madame.
649
00:45:28,526 --> 00:45:30,028
Mrs. Fishpaw and I...
650
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:34,066
have decided to view
the new Paris creations, Heintz.
651
00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,668
I would like it
if you would help me...
652
00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:38,180
get her into a more
presentable outfit.
653
00:45:38,202 --> 00:45:39,180
Yes, Madame.
654
00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:41,240
Come on, Francine.
We're going shopping.
655
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:43,047
Mrs. Fishpaw, come on, let's go.
656
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,815
This way, Mrs. Fish paw.
Upstairs.
657
00:45:44,842 --> 00:45:46,685
Let's go upstairs,
Mrs. Fishpaw.
658
00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:47,689
Upstairs?
659
00:45:47,712 --> 00:45:49,350
This way. Yes, ma'am.
660
00:46:07,632 --> 00:46:10,010
Look at this dress, Francine.
661
00:46:10,034 --> 00:46:12,605
Isn't it ra-sha-sha?
662
00:46:12,637 --> 00:46:14,674
It's very pretty, Cuddles.
663
00:46:17,975 --> 00:46:20,717
A Halston!
664
00:46:20,745 --> 00:46:22,986
How au courant!
665
00:46:23,014 --> 00:46:27,463
I'm going to try this one on,
too, and I'll be right back!
666
00:46:27,485 --> 00:46:30,796
This place is glamorous!
667
00:46:30,821 --> 00:46:34,166
Hurry. I don't want
to be late for my meeting.
668
00:46:39,130 --> 00:46:41,201
God!
669
00:46:41,232 --> 00:46:43,644
Damn these designers!
670
00:47:15,399 --> 00:47:16,844
Ah, shoes...
671
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:26,215
Madam, you will simply have to
leave this store immediately...
672
00:47:26,243 --> 00:47:28,951
or I will be forced
to call the security guards.
673
00:47:28,979 --> 00:47:31,118
You're really gauche, madam.
674
00:47:31,148 --> 00:47:35,528
A regular little cochon,
and that means pig.
675
00:47:35,553 --> 00:47:36,793
Come on, Francine.
676
00:47:36,821 --> 00:47:41,793
We should have gone straight
to Peck and Peck after all.
677
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,578
Call the police!
678
00:47:57,942 --> 00:48:02,152
Fellow members, we have
someone new with us tonight.
679
00:48:02,179 --> 00:48:05,558
Her name is Francine Fishpaw...
680
00:48:05,583 --> 00:48:07,358
and she's an alcoholic.
681
00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:11,424
Francine, come up here
and witness for us.
682
00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:15,130
- Step up there, now!
- Come on!
683
00:48:15,159 --> 00:48:17,469
Come on! Get up there!
684
00:48:36,180 --> 00:48:38,160
I really don't know what to say.
685
00:48:38,182 --> 00:48:40,958
Say it! Say it! Say it!
686
00:48:43,487 --> 00:48:46,024
Well, my name
is Francine Fishpaw“
687
00:48:46,056 --> 00:48:49,833
And? And? And?
688
00:48:49,860 --> 00:48:52,101
And lam an alcoholic!
689
00:48:57,668 --> 00:49:00,547
Miss Mallon,
we're all ready for you.
690
00:49:00,571 --> 00:49:02,881
Now, don't be afraid.
691
00:49:02,907 --> 00:49:04,784
This'll be all over
before you know it.
692
00:49:04,809 --> 00:49:08,154
I guess I made
the right decision.
693
00:49:08,179 --> 00:49:10,056
Don't have this abortion!
694
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,185
How does it feel
to be a murderer?
695
00:49:12,216 --> 00:49:13,661
Killer! Murderer!
696
00:49:13,684 --> 00:49:15,391
Babies wanna live, too,
you know!
697
00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:17,922
Suppose Einstein's mother
had an abortion!
698
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:19,662
Or John F. Kennedy's, huh?
699
00:49:19,690 --> 00:49:22,000
What if Maw and Joseph
had had an abortion?
700
00:49:22,026 --> 00:49:24,006
Pro life! Pro life! Pro life!
701
00:49:24,028 --> 00:49:26,099
That's from Jesus!
702
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:28,804
That's what he would do,
you murderer!
703
00:49:33,370 --> 00:49:34,713
Thank you, Heintz.
704
00:49:39,410 --> 00:49:41,481
You're going to hurt yourself!
705
00:49:41,512 --> 00:49:43,458
Stop spying on me!
706
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,552
Leave me alone!
707
00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:52,297
Lu-Lu, stop it.
708
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:55,827
I need the number of the Home
of the Shepherd's Flock.
709
00:49:55,860 --> 00:49:57,396
Lu-Lu, stop it.
710
00:49:57,428 --> 00:49:58,429
Thank you.
711
00:49:59,797 --> 00:50:01,606
Lu-Lu, stop!
712
00:50:01,632 --> 00:50:03,043
Home of the Shepherd's Flock.
713
00:50:03,067 --> 00:50:06,378
Yes, this is Francine Fishpaw
of 538 Wyman Way.
714
00:50:06,403 --> 00:50:08,280
I need an unwed mothers home.
715
00:50:08,305 --> 00:50:10,945
My pregnant daughter is trying
to induce a miscarriage!
716
00:50:10,975 --> 00:50:12,113
We'll be right there!
717
00:50:27,091 --> 00:50:29,071
Hail Maw, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
718
00:50:29,093 --> 00:50:30,333
Blessed art thou among women...
719
00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:31,601
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus...
720
00:50:31,629 --> 00:50:33,336
She's in the living room.
721
00:50:33,364 --> 00:50:35,503
Thank God you're here.
722
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:38,707
It's all right, Lu-Lu.
It'll be OK.
723
00:50:47,611 --> 00:50:49,090
Get in there.
724
00:50:49,113 --> 00:50:50,387
You can't do this!
725
00:51:00,124 --> 00:51:01,865
MY back!
726
00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:14,209
Girls!
727
00:51:14,238 --> 00:51:15,512
Instead of rosary tonight...
728
00:51:15,539 --> 00:51:17,917
we have a special treat
planned for you.
729
00:51:17,942 --> 00:51:21,116
- We're all going on a hayride.
- A hayride?
730
00:51:23,847 --> 00:51:25,690
Bring proper clothing...
731
00:51:25,716 --> 00:51:28,026
and proceed
to the wagons immediately!
732
00:51:29,153 --> 00:51:30,461
Go!
733
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,205
It hurts! it hurts!
734
00:52:11,228 --> 00:52:14,437
Somebody help me!
735
00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:15,876
Stop this faking!
736
00:52:15,899 --> 00:52:19,608
Prostitutes and devils' witches
lose their babies.
737
00:52:19,637 --> 00:52:21,446
Pray with us, girls!
738
00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:36,718
Open up, Mrs. Fishpaw!
We have a search warrant!
739
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:40,551
Knock it down.
740
00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:44,990
Let's go.
741
00:53:47,891 --> 00:53:50,303
Check everywhere.
I know the evidence is around.
742
00:53:50,327 --> 00:53:52,136
There's gotta be
some kind of shoes here.
743
00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:55,041
This whole family is sick, man.
744
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,136
Rip it off.
Let's take a look.
745
00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:03,985
Mrs. Fishpaw,
I have a search warrant...
746
00:54:04,007 --> 00:54:06,681
signed by Judge Solomon Wise
to search this entire house.
747
00:54:06,710 --> 00:54:07,848
For what?
748
00:54:07,878 --> 00:54:10,984
Dexter's been arrested for being
the Baltimore Foot Stomper.
749
00:54:11,014 --> 00:54:13,290
Come on, Jack.
Let's search the house.
750
00:54:13,317 --> 00:54:15,160
- Looky here!
- Look at this.
751
00:54:15,185 --> 00:54:16,323
It's sick! Sick!
752
00:54:16,353 --> 00:54:18,230
Can you believe this?
He is the foot stomper!
753
00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:19,700
- We got it.
- I knew it.
754
00:54:19,723 --> 00:54:21,703
- This stuff will hold up.
- Take it downtown.
755
00:54:21,725 --> 00:54:23,102
What is your name, sir?
756
00:54:23,127 --> 00:54:24,629
Are you related
to Dexter Fishpaw?
757
00:54:24,661 --> 00:54:27,141
Are you a member
of the Fishpaw family?
758
00:54:27,164 --> 00:54:28,643
Are you aware
that Dexter's been arrested?
759
00:54:32,402 --> 00:54:34,279
Anybody home?
760
00:54:34,304 --> 00:54:38,719
Oh, God!
Why hast Thou forsaken me?
761
00:54:38,742 --> 00:54:41,188
Come on.
We're going on a picnic.
762
00:54:41,211 --> 00:54:42,815
Come on. Come on!
763
00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:45,122
Come on, Francine.
764
00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:54,031
Oh, Cuddles,
Elmer sent the fire trucks!
765
00:54:54,057 --> 00:54:55,798
Bravo! Bravo!
766
00:54:55,826 --> 00:54:57,635
Good work! All right!
767
00:54:57,661 --> 00:54:59,436
Nice going! Nice going!
768
00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:00,635
Bravo! Bravo!
769
00:55:00,664 --> 00:55:02,109
There she is!
770
00:55:14,745 --> 00:55:16,986
You terrible person!
771
00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:25,323
Gosh, Francine.
772
00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:28,495
Maybe we'll get on TV tonight.
773
00:55:30,294 --> 00:55:32,797
Want some hooch, Francine?
774
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,138
Oh, thank you, Cuddles.
775
00:55:35,566 --> 00:55:37,375
God, Francine.
776
00:55:37,401 --> 00:55:41,144
You're the most drinking-est gal
I've ever seen.
777
00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:47,147
Maybe I should
get out of Baltimore.
778
00:56:13,170 --> 00:56:17,778
God, Francine,
there must be a God.
779
00:56:17,808 --> 00:56:20,584
Everything is so beautiful!
780
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:25,819
You gotta have some faith,
Francine.
781
00:56:25,849 --> 00:56:28,420
Everything will be all right.
782
00:56:29,686 --> 00:56:31,825
This is nice.
783
00:56:31,855 --> 00:56:36,668
Come on. Help me
with the tablecloth, will you?
784
00:56:42,799 --> 00:56:44,972
Come on. Let's sit down.
785
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:54,220
Look, Francine.
Tab for our diet.
786
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:55,951
Ain't that great?
787
00:56:55,979 --> 00:57:01,486
Look, cups...
and--Ooh! Sandwiches!
788
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:10,963
Francine, happiness
is a picnic in the woods.
789
00:57:13,964 --> 00:57:16,604
God, look around you, Francine.
790
00:57:16,633 --> 00:57:18,374
Look at the nature.
791
00:57:18,402 --> 00:57:21,212
Look, Francine, it's beautiful.
792
00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:28,318
Oh, Francine,
I got ants in my pants!
793
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:33,193
I smell something.
794
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:36,932
- I smell something.
- A skunk, Francine!
795
00:57:36,954 --> 00:57:38,160
What is it? What?
796
00:57:38,188 --> 00:57:40,668
- A skunk.
- A skunk!
797
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,607
Well, isn't that something?
798
00:57:59,509 --> 00:58:02,285
The divorce
has finally come through!
799
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:05,885
Two thousand a month
and the house!
800
00:58:05,916 --> 00:58:08,897
Time for us to move in
on that pot of gold!
801
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:11,957
Someone's at the door.
I'll call you when I get home.
802
00:58:18,028 --> 00:58:19,564
Trick or treat!
803
00:58:19,596 --> 00:58:21,803
I'm sorry,
but I don't live here...
804
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,277
and no one else is at home.
805
00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:25,541
What, no candy?
806
00:58:25,569 --> 00:58:27,742
I'm sorry,
but lforgot it was Halloween.
807
00:58:27,771 --> 00:58:30,615
You know what no candy means,
don't you?
808
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,711
Halloween just slipped my mind
this year.
809
00:58:32,743 --> 00:58:35,656
That means trick!
810
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:46,394
Stop it! Leave that alone!
811
00:58:56,566 --> 00:58:59,638
Lady, when we say,
"Trick or treat," we mean it!
812
00:58:59,669 --> 00:59:00,943
Kill her.
813
00:59:00,971 --> 00:59:02,848
Next time,
you won't be so selfish...
814
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:06,252
and ignore little children
on holidays!
815
00:59:06,276 --> 00:59:08,813
Maybe we have an apple
or something.
816
00:59:08,845 --> 00:59:13,260
Too late now, Grandma.
No candy means death!
817
00:59:15,352 --> 00:59:17,332
Let's destroy this place!
818
00:59:25,862 --> 00:59:27,205
See you later!
819
00:59:42,679 --> 00:59:45,455
Oh, God! Bo-Bo!
820
00:59:45,482 --> 00:59:48,861
- Good night, Francine.
- Good night, Cuddles.
821
00:59:48,885 --> 00:59:52,799
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
822
00:59:53,824 --> 00:59:56,361
Don't forget
to wash your clothes.
823
00:59:58,695 --> 01:00:00,572
Have a peaceful night,
Mrs. Fishpaw.
824
01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:01,769
Good night, Heintz.
825
01:00:07,704 --> 01:00:10,310
It's all your fault!
826
01:00:19,716 --> 01:00:22,492
No, God, please. Not my baby.
827
01:00:24,221 --> 01:00:26,394
Oh, God, not my little girl.
828
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:55,656
Hi, Mom!
829
01:00:57,487 --> 01:01:00,366
Dexter! Honey! You're home!
830
01:01:04,761 --> 01:01:07,241
Oh, honey, let me look at you.
831
01:01:07,264 --> 01:01:09,801
I'm sorry
for the grief I caused you...
832
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:12,780
but I'm rehabilitated now.
833
01:01:12,802 --> 01:01:15,510
I had a wonderful
drug counselor in prison...
834
01:01:15,539 --> 01:01:18,611
and I received
psychiatric treatment.
835
01:01:18,642 --> 01:01:22,749
Mom, I am an artist now.
836
01:01:22,779 --> 01:01:25,885
Oh, honey. it is beautiful.
837
01:01:25,916 --> 01:01:28,226
We'll hang it
right in the living room.
838
01:01:28,251 --> 01:01:30,162
We can put this one
in the kitchen.
839
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,998
I'm saving this one for my room.
840
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:35,628
Would you like
some milk and cookies, Dexter?
841
01:01:35,659 --> 01:01:37,730
Oh, I'd love some, Mom.
842
01:01:37,761 --> 01:01:38,967
Come on, honey.
843
01:01:38,995 --> 01:01:41,635
I bet that food in prison
was just terrible!
844
01:01:41,665 --> 01:01:43,645
I sure missed
your home cooking, Mom.
845
01:01:43,667 --> 01:01:44,839
Oh, honey.
846
01:01:46,736 --> 01:01:48,579
There's no place like home,
honey.
847
01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:53,144
Everything looks just the same.
848
01:01:53,176 --> 01:01:55,417
It's so good to have you back.
849
01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:57,083
Mom, are you still drinking?
850
01:01:57,113 --> 01:02:02,756
Dexter, I'm afraid
your ma's an alcoholic.
851
01:02:02,786 --> 01:02:06,029
Oh, Mom, you could stop.
I got off the angel dust.
852
01:02:07,657 --> 01:02:09,637
I wanna stop.
853
01:02:09,659 --> 01:02:12,367
Just pour it
down the drain, Mom.
854
01:02:12,395 --> 01:02:13,999
I want to.
855
01:02:14,030 --> 01:02:17,477
I want us to be happy again,
like we used to be...
856
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:20,538
before your father abandoned us.
857
01:02:20,570 --> 01:02:24,746
I love you, Mom!
Go ahead. You can stop.
858
01:02:24,774 --> 01:02:28,017
- Oh, Dexter.
- You don't need it anymore.
859
01:02:28,044 --> 01:02:29,819
You'll be much happier.
860
01:02:32,115 --> 01:02:35,028
Oh, honey, today
is going to be a new beginning.
861
01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:37,497
We're going to be
a real family again.
862
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,591
- Oh, Mom.
- Oh, Dexter.
863
01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:42,365
Welcome home, Dexter.
864
01:02:42,392 --> 01:02:46,033
Hello, Lu-Lu. Will you
give your brother a kiss?
865
01:02:49,866 --> 01:02:53,712
Forgive me for being so awful,
but I've changed.
866
01:02:53,737 --> 01:02:57,879
Bo-Bo's dead,
and I've had a miscarriage.
867
01:02:57,907 --> 01:03:01,286
- That's awful.
- But I've discovered macrame!
868
01:03:01,311 --> 01:03:03,313
It's helped me find myself.
869
01:03:03,346 --> 01:03:06,418
I'm gentler now
and more creative.
870
01:03:06,449 --> 01:03:08,622
I'm an artist now, too, Lu-Lu.
871
01:03:08,652 --> 01:03:12,725
I'm off drugs and ready for
a new beginning here at home.
872
01:03:12,756 --> 01:03:14,929
Oh, you see, children?
873
01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,438
It's not hard to be normal.
874
01:03:17,460 --> 01:03:19,462
Oh, thank you, God.
875
01:03:19,496 --> 01:03:21,976
Thank you
for answering my prayers!
876
01:03:21,998 --> 01:03:24,205
We're a real family again.
877
01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:27,647
A normal American family.
878
01:03:32,876 --> 01:03:36,255
Hello, Mother.
Feeling any better today?
879
01:03:36,279 --> 01:03:40,591
How can I feel better with
a drunken miser as a daughter?
880
01:03:40,617 --> 01:03:42,153
Shut up, Mother!
881
01:03:42,185 --> 01:03:46,258
For forty-four years, I've tried
to be a good daughter to you...
882
01:03:46,289 --> 01:03:48,860
and all I've gotten in return
is abuse.
883
01:03:48,892 --> 01:03:50,667
I've given you money--
884
01:03:50,694 --> 01:03:52,935
thousands and thousands
of dollars--
885
01:03:52,962 --> 01:03:54,635
and still it's not enough!
886
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:56,166
Well, I've had it.
887
01:03:56,199 --> 01:03:59,544
You can rot in that wheelchair
for all I care!
888
01:03:59,569 --> 01:04:01,742
The pain,the pain! My heart!
She's giving me a heart attack!
889
01:04:01,771 --> 01:04:03,546
Oh, God, help! Help!
890
01:04:21,324 --> 01:04:22,496
Pull over here.
891
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,438
Stop the cab.
892
01:04:29,466 --> 01:04:31,139
- Here?
-Yes, yes. Right here.
893
01:04:31,167 --> 01:04:32,737
I'll stay here.
894
01:04:36,773 --> 01:04:38,684
Here. Keep the change.
895
01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:53,299
Hey, come here.
896
01:05:02,832 --> 01:05:04,175
Really horrible, isn't it?
897
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,271
Oh, those poor people.
898
01:05:06,302 --> 01:05:08,179
Did you see it happen?
899
01:05:08,204 --> 01:05:09,979
Yes, I saw it happen.
900
01:05:10,006 --> 01:05:11,986
I was following that van...
901
01:05:12,008 --> 01:05:13,316
and that other thing
cut right in front.
902
01:05:13,343 --> 01:05:15,550
- Wham! Hit it head on.
- Excuse me.
903
01:05:15,578 --> 01:05:16,648
It was really horrible.
904
01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:19,683
It is. it's just too horrible.
I can't look.
905
01:05:19,716 --> 01:05:21,923
Hey, you know...
906
01:05:21,951 --> 01:05:23,897
why don't we take a ride
in the country...
907
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:25,957
and get away from all this mess?
908
01:05:25,989 --> 01:05:30,165
I mean, it's a beautiful day,
and I find you quite attractive.
909
01:05:30,193 --> 01:05:33,231
But I don't even know your name.
910
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,971
- It's Todd, honey.
-Todd?
911
01:05:35,999 --> 01:05:37,842
Todd Tomorrow.
912
01:05:37,867 --> 01:05:40,108
Hi. I'm Francine Fishpaw.
913
01:05:42,772 --> 01:05:45,685
It's a beautiful name.
Fits you well.
914
01:05:47,177 --> 01:05:49,282
I got something
I want to show you.
915
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:52,484
It's long...
916
01:05:52,515 --> 01:05:54,552
and it's sleek...
917
01:05:54,584 --> 01:05:56,154
and it's powerful.
918
01:05:56,186 --> 01:05:58,063
Ooh, what is it, Todd?
919
01:05:58,087 --> 01:05:59,657
It's my new 'vette!
920
01:06:12,101 --> 01:06:13,409
Hop in, honey.
921
01:06:20,276 --> 01:06:21,448
We're off!
922
01:07:22,472 --> 01:07:24,145
If I break a nail...
923
01:07:24,173 --> 01:07:26,175
you're really never gonna
hear the end of this one!
924
01:07:26,209 --> 01:07:28,382
I'm gettin' sick and tired
of all your complaining.
925
01:07:28,411 --> 01:07:30,755
All you do
is complain, complain, complain.
926
01:07:30,780 --> 01:07:33,090
You'd complain, too, if you had
a boyfriend who was like you.
927
01:07:33,116 --> 01:07:34,356
Why don't you get a decent car?
928
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,364
- Get the thing closer--
- I'm working on it!
929
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,559
- You expect me to do it all?
- Get back to work, Elmer!
930
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,234
Get going. Get going. Hurry up!
931
01:07:51,267 --> 01:07:52,712
Why don't you go back
to Francine?
932
01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:53,873
We ought to go catch 'em.
933
01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:56,110
He's got some good taste
in cars, anyway.
934
01:08:01,144 --> 01:08:03,351
My, what a nice place.
935
01:08:03,379 --> 01:08:05,120
Oh, it's such a mess.
936
01:08:05,148 --> 01:08:07,719
I'm so embarrassed
for you to see it like this.
937
01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:09,127
Would you like to meet
the children?
938
01:08:09,152 --> 01:08:13,328
- I can hardly wait.
- Oh, OK. Follow me.
939
01:08:13,356 --> 01:08:14,630
Stunning.
940
01:08:21,631 --> 01:08:22,837
Hi, Mom.
941
01:08:22,865 --> 01:08:25,539
Lu-Lu, I'd like you to meet
a friend of mine--
942
01:08:25,568 --> 01:08:26,842
Mr. Todd Tomorrow.
943
01:08:26,869 --> 01:08:28,906
Todd, this is my daughter Lu-Lu.
944
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:30,281
Nice to meet you.
945
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:34,145
- Hi, darlin'.
- Let's go meet my little Dexter.
946
01:08:35,979 --> 01:08:39,153
Well...l don't know.
947
01:08:40,149 --> 01:08:41,822
Oh, come in. Hi, Mother.
948
01:08:41,851 --> 01:08:44,263
Hi, honey.
This is my little Dexter.
949
01:08:44,287 --> 01:08:45,766
He's a creative artist.
950
01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:48,394
Dexter, this is my friend
Mr. Todd Tomorrow.
951
01:08:48,424 --> 01:08:50,961
- Put it there, young feller.
- How you doing?
952
01:08:52,328 --> 01:08:54,808
Hey, I seen you before.
953
01:08:54,831 --> 01:08:57,835
I seen you before on IV.
I seen him on the news.
954
01:08:57,867 --> 01:09:00,245
Dexter was just released
from prison.
955
01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:02,579
Oh, well, that's nice.
Congratulations!
956
01:09:02,605 --> 01:09:05,279
- Oh, thank you.
- And that's nice, too.
957
01:09:05,308 --> 01:09:07,515
That's a real masterpiece.
958
01:09:07,543 --> 01:09:09,045
- Yeah. Do you like it?
- You bet.
959
01:09:09,078 --> 01:09:10,751
You keep up that good work,
you hear?
960
01:09:10,780 --> 01:09:11,952
I will, Todd.
961
01:09:14,017 --> 01:09:16,293
Why don't you show me
your bedroom, honey?
962
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,663
- Mother, may I?
- Yes, you may.
963
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:25,463
Oh, Todd, I've had a bad year.
964
01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:27,702
Please don't be too harsh
in your judgments.
965
01:09:27,730 --> 01:09:29,266
Well, it's exquisite.
966
01:09:31,034 --> 01:09:33,014
Look at me.
967
01:09:33,036 --> 01:09:34,743
Read my lips.
968
01:09:34,771 --> 01:09:38,082
I love you.
969
01:09:38,107 --> 01:09:39,814
I'm sorry I'm so nervous.
970
01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:42,755
It's just that my husband's
been harassing me every day.
971
01:09:42,779 --> 01:09:46,124
I can't help it. I'm afraid
he's going to kill me!
972
01:09:46,149 --> 01:09:48,254
I crave liquor
right this minute.
973
01:09:48,284 --> 01:09:50,958
Easy does it, baby.
974
01:09:50,987 --> 01:09:53,126
One day at a time.
975
01:09:53,156 --> 01:09:56,330
I ache. I ache all over.
976
01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:59,101
Let me kiss away your D.T.s,
honey.
977
01:10:09,005 --> 01:10:10,746
I love you, Francine.
978
01:10:12,175 --> 01:10:15,816
I love your little ankles
and your little wrists.
979
01:10:15,845 --> 01:10:18,849
Your little breasts,
your little belly.
980
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:21,919
Oh, Todd. Dare I say it?
981
01:10:21,951 --> 01:10:25,296
I love you, too, my darling.
982
01:10:25,321 --> 01:10:28,461
Then let's make love,
you sweet little thing.
983
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:36,711
Oh, Todd, be gentle with me.
984
01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:39,373
Please, be gentle.
985
01:11:18,374 --> 01:11:20,547
Time to wake up, honey.
986
01:11:20,576 --> 01:11:23,284
Did you sleep all right,
my darling?
987
01:11:23,312 --> 01:11:25,383
It was bliss.
988
01:11:26,415 --> 01:11:28,190
Are you my little fleshpot?
989
01:11:33,256 --> 01:11:34,530
Will you marry me?
990
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:39,162
You don't mean that.
991
01:11:39,195 --> 01:11:42,699
Yes, I do.
I want you to be my wife.
992
01:11:42,732 --> 01:11:45,645
Oh, Todd.
Of course I'll marry you...
993
01:11:45,668 --> 01:11:48,740
but can you afford to take us on
as a family?
994
01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:52,583
Hell, yes, I can. I own
the Edmondson Drive-in Cinema.
995
01:11:52,608 --> 01:11:53,951
You do?
996
01:12:06,289 --> 01:12:08,030
Visit our concession stand.
997
01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:09,195
We feature beluga caviar...
998
01:12:09,225 --> 01:12:11,569
succulent oysters,
and champagne.
999
01:12:11,594 --> 01:12:13,232
Take a tempting taste treat...
1000
01:12:13,262 --> 01:12:16,175
and ponder the intellectual
meaning of cinema.
1001
01:12:43,092 --> 01:12:45,368
Well, what do you think,
sweetheart?
1002
01:12:45,394 --> 01:12:48,568
Oh, it's very highbrow, Todd.
1003
01:12:48,598 --> 01:12:52,068
Yep. We only show
first-run art films here.
1004
01:12:52,101 --> 01:12:54,445
You wait here a sec
while I check them receipts.
1005
01:12:54,470 --> 01:12:57,212
OK, but hurry. I don't want
to be late for Cuddles' party.
1006
01:13:03,446 --> 01:13:05,892
- Hey, what's happenin', Todd?
- Hi, darling.
1007
01:13:05,915 --> 01:13:07,326
- Right there.
- How you doin', my man?
1008
01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:10,126
- Not bad.
- Here you go.
1009
01:13:10,152 --> 01:13:13,190
- Nose candy.
- Yeah, sweets for the sweet.
1010
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,701
Dynamite!
1011
01:13:23,900 --> 01:13:26,813
- Free basing!
- Let's do it, Todd, baby.
1012
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:30,010
- Go get her, honey!
- Right after I blast off.
1013
01:13:35,544 --> 01:13:37,148
I got a date with an angel.
1014
01:14:46,649 --> 01:14:48,287
Thank you, thank you.
1015
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:52,561
And now the moment
we've all been waiting for--
1016
01:14:52,588 --> 01:14:55,398
that lovely lady herself...
1017
01:14:55,424 --> 01:14:57,461
Miss Cuddles.
1018
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:46,186
I have something for you,
my dear.
1019
01:15:46,208 --> 01:15:48,085
What is it, Heintz?
1020
01:15:49,545 --> 01:15:52,583
Oh, Heintz, it's beautiful.
1021
01:15:52,615 --> 01:15:55,255
Cuddles, will you marry me?
Please?
1022
01:15:57,820 --> 01:15:59,891
I'll marry you, Heintz.
1023
01:16:05,361 --> 01:16:06,931
Thank you, Cuddles.
1024
01:16:27,083 --> 01:16:29,393
I could've danced all night.
1025
01:18:14,757 --> 01:18:16,031
Oh, God!
1026
01:18:19,795 --> 01:18:22,139
Let's keep love in the family,
honey.
1027
01:18:22,164 --> 01:18:25,737
No! Not my mother!
1028
01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:28,712
Let go of me!
1029
01:18:28,737 --> 01:18:31,183
You monster! You monster!
1030
01:18:33,776 --> 01:18:35,813
You've been a good old wagon,
Francine...
1031
01:18:35,844 --> 01:18:38,654
but you done broke down.
1032
01:18:38,681 --> 01:18:42,026
Here's a present for you,
daughter dear.
1033
01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:44,190
Something for your nose.
1034
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:48,259
This will make you feel
all better.
1035
01:18:54,463 --> 01:18:56,443
What's going on?
1036
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,072
What's that?
1037
01:19:12,314 --> 01:19:13,452
Leave me alone!
1038
01:19:13,482 --> 01:19:16,486
Killer!
1039
01:19:16,518 --> 01:19:18,828
He's dead!
1040
01:19:18,854 --> 01:19:20,731
What the hell is goin' on here?
1041
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:23,828
I never wanted to use macrame
to kill.
1042
01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:27,363
Why, it's Elmer!
Her lousy cheap husband.
1043
01:19:27,396 --> 01:19:29,569
He was twin' to kill Francine.
1044
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:33,774
Nonsense, La Rue.
What the hell you talkin' about?
1045
01:19:33,802 --> 01:19:37,340
Francine done it.
She's the one who killed him.
1046
01:19:37,373 --> 01:19:39,478
What are you doing to Mother?
1047
01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:40,680
Shut up, you little slut.
1048
01:19:40,709 --> 01:19:43,747
She's gone insane,
and we're putting her...
1049
01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:46,282
in a mental hospital
where she belongs.
1050
01:19:48,183 --> 01:19:50,094
I'm gonna
take care of them little creeps.
1051
01:19:54,490 --> 01:19:56,868
Hey, Flashlight!
Get on over here!
1052
01:19:56,892 --> 01:19:58,371
OK, Todd baby!
1053
01:20:02,498 --> 01:20:04,535
Hey, man, the chickens ready?
1054
01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:08,040
Take that little whore...
1055
01:20:08,070 --> 01:20:10,710
down to the massage parlor
where she belongs.
1056
01:20:10,739 --> 01:20:12,980
And as for you, bunghole...
1057
01:20:13,008 --> 01:20:15,284
you got an appointment
at the House of Torture...
1058
01:20:15,311 --> 01:20:17,382
with some very dirty old men.
1059
01:20:17,413 --> 01:20:19,552
All right, chickens, move it!
1060
01:20:22,084 --> 01:20:23,256
You!
1061
01:20:24,553 --> 01:20:26,555
Does this mean
the Wedding's over, honey?
1062
01:20:27,890 --> 01:20:29,927
I do think she's havin'
a little nervous breakdown.
1063
01:20:31,026 --> 01:20:33,097
I better call
the mental hospital.
1064
01:20:34,296 --> 01:20:36,469
- Shut up.
- Right.
1065
01:20:36,498 --> 01:20:37,704
Stop that!
1066
01:20:40,536 --> 01:20:44,848
Happy Hills?
This is 538 Wyman Way.
1067
01:20:44,873 --> 01:20:47,046
Yeah, you'd better send some
attendants over here right away.
1068
01:20:47,076 --> 01:20:49,784
We got this thing,
this big thing...
1069
01:20:49,812 --> 01:20:51,985
this woman's had a breakdown.
1070
01:20:52,014 --> 01:20:53,823
Yeah, she's committed
a double homicide...
1071
01:20:53,849 --> 01:20:55,522
on her husband
and his girlfriend.
1072
01:20:57,386 --> 01:20:59,423
Yeah, right! Thank you.
1073
01:21:02,725 --> 01:21:05,899
Thank God I'm rid of her.
She'll be locked up for life.
1074
01:21:05,928 --> 01:21:09,501
I'll drain her bank account
and sell the house.
1075
01:21:09,531 --> 01:21:11,977
And I can get $5,000 for each
one of them little creeps...
1076
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:14,571
and if I sell that drive-in,
we'll be rich.
1077
01:21:14,603 --> 01:21:15,911
Let's move to Miami.
1078
01:21:15,938 --> 01:21:17,975
Finally, I can get my face-lift.
1079
01:21:18,006 --> 01:21:21,453
I want a Cadillac, too--
a big purple Cadillac--
1080
01:21:21,477 --> 01:21:25,323
so I can ride around
and laugh at poor people.
1081
01:21:25,347 --> 01:21:27,759
I'm gonna get me one of them
solid gold leisure suits...
1082
01:21:27,783 --> 01:21:29,785
and I can just strut around
at Fontaine Bleu.
1083
01:21:29,818 --> 01:21:32,389
Whoo-hoo! We're gonna be happy
in Miami, La Rue.
1084
01:21:32,421 --> 01:21:35,664
- Happy!
-Rich and happy, Todd!
1085
01:21:35,691 --> 01:21:39,935
Free, white, rich, and happy!
1086
01:21:39,962 --> 01:21:41,305
Hot damn!
1087
01:21:42,831 --> 01:21:45,004
Help me! Help me!
1088
01:21:45,033 --> 01:21:46,171
Come on, come on!
1089
01:21:46,201 --> 01:21:48,807
Help! Oh, God, please!
1090
01:21:48,837 --> 01:21:50,510
- Somebody help me!
- Francine, shut up!
1091
01:21:50,539 --> 01:21:52,849
I feel so wonderful.
1092
01:21:53,776 --> 01:21:55,722
Heintz, look out!
1093
01:21:58,781 --> 01:22:00,158
Ach, du lieber!
1094
01:22:10,659 --> 01:22:12,570
Holy Jesus!
1095
01:22:13,729 --> 01:22:15,504
See you chickens later.
1096
01:22:21,003 --> 01:22:23,711
Oh, my baby!
1097
01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:24,877
It's all right.
1098
01:22:24,907 --> 01:22:26,580
They were gonna kill us!
1099
01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:32,157
It'll all be all right,
Francine.
1100
01:22:32,181 --> 01:22:34,559
It's going to be all right.
1101
01:22:34,583 --> 01:22:35,857
I was nervous.
1102
01:22:35,884 --> 01:22:37,864
Everything will be all right.
1103
01:22:37,886 --> 01:22:40,196
Nothing's right,
nothing's right.
1104
01:22:40,222 --> 01:22:41,929
It's going to be all right.
1105
01:22:41,957 --> 01:22:43,459
No, it's not.
1106
01:22:47,729 --> 01:22:49,572
Oh, smell.
1107
01:22:49,598 --> 01:22:53,171
Oh, everything
smells so much better now.
1108
01:25:57,000 --> 01:26:01,000
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