All language subtitles for Curb.Your.Enthusiasm.S08E02.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-herkz

Woman 2: It's okay.
Let it go.

Let it go.
This is pushing buttons,
and that's all right.

- No, you're safe,
you're safe.
- Uh...

It's all right.
Let it go.

- Oh my. Oh.
- Uh...

- Oh.
- I just want to get
some Chubby Hubby.

Sir, could you please
give us a moment?

Yeah, aw.

Aw aw.

Yes, aw.

A little to the left...
Or the right.

- Separate separate.
- Excuse me.

I'm trying to get
to the Chubby Hubby.

- Yes, you said that.
- Yeah.

Yes, okay, that's a good girl.

Oh oh my.

Poor baby.

Sir! Excuse me.
Now I've tried to be nice.

I have asked you
to give us some space.

- What's this about?
- None of your business.

Personal...
It's a personal thing?

- Would you please?
- Okay, all right.

Thank you.

Don't pay attention
to that jerk.

Oh, it's okay.

Oh, are you all right,
sweetheart?

It's gonna be...

Marty:
You're not going
to believe this.

Richard is dating
a burlesque dancer.

- I had dinner with them.
- Really?

I don't like to sound
like a pig,

but she has magnificent breasts.

- What's she like?
- She's dumb.

All she wanted to talk about
was how she dances,

how the crowd loves her and...

- Oh, here he is.
- I'm sorry.

- Huh?
- Let me alone.
Don't yell at me.

They moved the audition.
It's in 10 minutes.

I was on the phone
with an ex-girlfriend
who was suicidal,

so I couldn't exactly
hang up to say I want
to go to a salad bar.

Wait, she's going
to commit suicide
and she calls you?

A lot of people call me
who are suicidal.

I don't think you'd be
my suicide call.

- You're kidding me.
- No, I don't think you'd be.

What would bring you
to the brink of suicide?

Can I ask him
why he wouldn't
call me first?

- What would bring you...
- Him.

- He would?
- He would.

So you'd be calling the guy
who caused you to... okay.

By the way, are you dating
a burlesque dancer?

- What makes you say that?
- We heard.

I didn't say anything bad.
I said she was beautiful.

- Why do you have to blab
about my personal life?
- What do you mean?

You didn't
swear him to secrecy.
What's the big deal?

Hey, if it wasn't
for fucking burlesque,

we wouldn't have Chaplin
or the Marx brothers.

Oh, Chaplin was
a great pole dancer.

Admit it, the only reason
you're going out with her

is because of her ample bosom.

That's despicable
to say that to me.
Of course not.

- For her brains
and her sense of worth.
- Have you set a date aside

when you're going
to finally look
at her face?

That's...
That's really funny.

Yeah, laugh it up.

Listen, I have
an audition now,
so if you don't mind.

- I'll see you later.
- That's very funny.

That's it?
You come for two minutes?

- I told you why I'm late.
I have an audition.
- All right.

Quite frankly
I'm a little offended

by you just focusing
on a woman's breasts
and nipples

when maybe I'm in love
with her, all right?

- So how does that...
- You're always in love.

No, I'm not always in love.

She also gives to charity
and she has a great personality.

- She gives to charity?
- That's right.

- Jeff: Milk?
- Huh?

- Jeff: She gives milk?
- That's funny too?

You guys are on a fuckin' roll.

- I'm out.
- Dance for
underprivileged kids.

- Charity!
- Marty: Gives to charity?

- All right, I gotta go.
- Look at the stuff that
comes out of his mouth.

- I got an idea.
- Jeff: Hmm?

Why don't the three of us,
one night this week,
go see her dance?

- Hell yes.
- We're not doing
anything wrong.

No, let's go.
He never said we couldn't.

We can't say anything to him.

Who's gonna...
He doesn't need to know.

We sit in the back.
I say we go.

- What are you doing?
- I don't need to do that.

- I did a hands in.
- Please, we don't
need a hands in.

I'm gonna get going.
You got lunch?

- I got it. I got it.
- Okay, thank you.

Yeah, let's go see her.
What the hell?

Oh, you'll love it, believe me.

Excuse me, I've just gotta
run out for one second.

Could you just keep an eye
on my computer for me?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

Excuse me.

Would you mind keeping
an eye on that computer?

- The guy asked me,
but I have to go.
- Um, yeah sure, okay.

Good, thanks.

Aha!

Ha ha!

Okay, this is the dog.

This is the dog
that's been going
on my lawn.

- No bag?
Where's your bag?
- Well...

You know, life... it gets
so crazy sometimes.

- Oh, life gets crazy?
- Yeah.

If you're gonna have a dog,
you have to have a bag.

I will bring a bag.
I didn't bring a bag today.

- I'm really sorry about that.
- Because the dog without
the bag... it's incomplete.

It's a marriage.
The bag and the dog,
they go together.

I just don't see
why you had to yell at me.

I'm yelling for society,
for everybody.

- It's not just me.
- Got it.

- People make mistakes.
- Every day?

Roscoe, come.

Marty:
Don't you love this place?

- Leon: This shit
is fucking amazing.
- Marty: It's great.

- Yeah.
- Do you love it?

- What are you doing?
- I'm looking for Lewis.

Let loose.
He's not here.
Have a good time.

Marty:
We ought to do this
more often.

Come to disgusting strip clubs?

- Why is it disgusting?
- Disgusting? Fuckin'...
that's a harsh word.

Watch this shit.

- That's her.
That's her.
- That's her?

It's like jell-o pudding
inside of those motherfuckers.

She is communicating right now.
You understand?

In Hawaii they move
hands and hips.

Out here it's titties.

The fuckin' titties
are talking right now.

And what exactly
are they saying?

Those titties
are a blabbermouth, you know
what I'm talking about?

They're fuckin' just
yippity-yapping right now.

- Did you have fun?
- No, not really.

- Boy, I had a blast.
- You know what I think?

- What?
- I think Lewis
has lost his mind.

- Why?
- I just saw his girlfriend's
tits, that's why.

So what?
He's not gonna marry her.
He's just having fun.

How can you not tell me
you were going to see Stella?

- She's my girlfriend,
for Christ's sakes.
- Yeah, you're right.

We probably should
have told you.

But you didn't say
we shouldn't go.

And by the way, if you're
dating somebody who takes
their clothes off in public,

then what's the difference?
Everybody's gonna see her.

You went there like a pervert.

Hey, I didn't
even see that much.

What percentage of the show
did you look at her breasts?

- I saw like...
- Hello, tiger.

Hi, honey.
Good to see you.

Hi, sweetie.
Sorry I'm late.

This is Larry,
one of my oldest friends.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
- Hi.

I thought you said he was old.

- You don't seem that old.
- Well...

- Sorry, I didn't mean
to offend you.
- Mrs. Cole,

I didn't know Marilyn Monroe
was on the base, sir.

He made out like you were
a granddad, you know?

You called me old?

You're two days older than I am.

You're a dissipated alcoholic.
How dare you?

- Recovering alcoholic.
- All right, recovering.

Okay, listen, sorry.
I didn't mean to start
an argument or anything.

That's okay.
By the way, I actually did
see your show last night.

- You came to see my show?
- Yes, I enjoyed
the presentation.

What do you know
about burlesque?

I saw the movie "Gypsy"
with Natalie Wood.

Oh, then you should be
a professor at Ohio state
and teach this.

It sounds like
you appreciate
the art form.

Well, I appreciate naked women.

Did you like
the air fucking
number I did?

- The air fucking
was sensational.
- You liked that?

- Yeah yeah?
- Yes.

But let me just say this, okay?

Your breasts are magnificent.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- What did you just say?

You're not dissecting a frog
in 12th-grade biology.

- It's okay.
I take it as a compliment.
- She's not a specimen.

By the way, I did
notice in the show

that there's a small mole

on the underside
of your right breast

that you might want
to get checked out.

- Are you being serious?
There's a mole?
- Yeah yeah yeah.

- Okay.
- How did you see a small mole
from where you were sitting?

I have breast vision
and that's how I'm able to...

- You have breast vision?
- Yes.

Why don't you go
to every burlesque show

and just stare
at all the breasts?

I could be a burlesque
dermatologist.

- We'll get it checked out.
- Thank you very much.

- For sure.
- You're welcome.

Well well well, look who's here.

- You don't remember me?
- No.

I'm the idiot who asked you

to look after my computer
yesterday, remember?

- Yeah. So where is it?
- You didn't get that back?

No, I didn't get it back.
Why am I asking you?

I didn't get it back
and it's gone and
so were you.

You were taking
such a long time.

I had to get going
and I gave it to someone.

- Who did you give it to?
- I don't know.

- I gave it to some black guy.
- You gave it to some black guy?

- Yeah.
- You gave it
to a black guy?!

Because that's...
I mean...

What I was about to say was

why wouldn't you give it
to a black person?

In fact, that day
when we were in there,

I had been looking
for a black person

to leave my computer with.

I didn't see one,
so I left it with you.

Left it with me.
Good good.

I'm sure it's gonna turn up.

- I'll keep my eyes
peeled for him.
- I'm gonna go in.

- He's probably dropped
it off in there.
- Probably dropped it off.

- Take care.
- Okay.

Leon:
Larry!

What up, man?

Oh, uh... nothing.

- Who's that dude, man?
- Well, I mean it's not
a big deal.

He gave me his computer
to watch...

- Uh-huh.
- And I had to leave.

And I gave it to this guy

and he never gave
the computer back.

Who the fuck did you give it to?

It was a guy.
Not important.

Who the fuck did you give it to?

A black guy.

- Wow.
- I'm sorry.

- God damn.
- I didn't want to tell you.

- A fuckin'
black dude in there...
- You forced it out of me.

I feel fuckin' bad now.
Know what I mean?

You trusted that
black motherfucker.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

I don't want you thinking
that shit about me,

you understand?

I could've stole
this motherfucker...

Plenty of times, but I didn't.

I know the code
to the fuckin' house and shit.

3948, right?
The last four

of your social security card
number is 4938.

All you did
was change it around.

All that shit I fuckin' know.

Remember that time
you gave me the ATM card

to get gas for the car and shit?

And your signature...
Come on.

It's a big L.
It's real clear, right?

Then the "arry David" is sloppy.

Any man can do that shit.
Your mom's maiden name...
Ratner. You know what I mean?

- All they wanna
know is that part.
- Where are the car keys?

- Inside the car.
- I'll drive.

Who the fuck told you
my mother's maiden name?!

- I must've overheard it.
- You're going through my shit!

There's shit laying
around the house!

Where the fuck
did you find out
my mother's maiden...

- Oh, hi.
- Hello.

I'm your neighbor Margaret.

Actually, I'm realizing now

- that we've run
into each other before.
- The supermarket.

Oh yeah, that was kind of
an awkward thing there.

I was just trying
to get some ice cream.

- I understand that.
I understand that.
- Chubby Hubby.

You wouldn't move over.
It was odd.

Well, there was
a little more to it
than that.

I know the woman
was crying.
I saw that.

- Right, yeah.
- But still,

she could have cried
a foot or two over.

You see, the reason
she was crying

is she's a new member
of our safe house

that I'm the housemother for.

- Safe house?
- Yes.

Some people call them
battered women.

- I choose not
to use that phrase.
- Oh, they're battered.

I think it's very pejorative.

- So anyway...
- Oh, where's the house?

- It's just a couple
of doors down.
- Seriously?

- Yeah.
- Huh.

And speaking of those women,
a couple of days ago

I think there was
a little incident

with one of our members
and her dog.

She's also part
of the sorority
over there?

Well, we don't
call it a sorority.

- But yes, she is one
of our members.
- Oh my god.

And Saundra was so upset
when she came home.

- She was upset?
- Yes.

Her dog pooped
all over my lawn
three times.

She doesn't clean it up.
She doesn't bring a bag.

What we would love
as neighbors and friends...

To invite you in
to start a discussion.

And you can talk to Karen
and you can talk to Saundra

and you can bring up your issues

and perhaps apologize...

- Apologize?
- For any discomfort
you caused them.

I don't know
why I would apologize.

- I didn't really
do anything.
- Well...

- all I want to do
is buy some ice cream.
- I know.

- All I want to do
is have a clean lawn...
- I understand.

- Without poop on it.
- Exactly.

I didn't really do anything.

And you know what
would be wonderful, Larry?

Is that so many of these women
have a negative connotation

- as far as a male
perspective goes.
- Of course, yes.

So it would be so great

to have a safe man
in their midst

that could give them
a male perspective

that they could feel good
about hearing.

So I would be representing men.

In a safe place, yes.

- What do you say?
- I'm happy to be
the male representative.

Oh my goodness,
that's wonderful.

Maybe I could drum up
a date over there, huh?

Oh, now Larry,
let's remember boundaries.

Hi. A little bit of a
surprise for all of you.

- I'd like to introduce our
neighbor and friend Larry.
- Hello.

What a great pleasure
to meet you all.

By the way, very nice house,
if you don't mind my saying.

- Beautiful.
- Margaret: Isn't it nice?

I don't know where
you were living before,

but I would think this
probably would be
a step up.

You hit the jackpot
with this place, huh?

You know what, Larry?
Thank you for admiring
our home.

You're really hitting
the cake here, huh?
And donuts?

You're welcome to help yourself.

I hope you guys
are working out
eating this...

My father would call this crap.

That's a lot of crap.

Larry, I think you might
remember our friend Saundra.

- A pleasure.
- Hi.

Did you have anything
you wanted to say
to Saundra?

I do have something
I'd like to say.

First off, I want to apologize

if I hurt your feelings
in any way

as a result of the dog pooping.

I was just going to say

that your anger is your problem

and it's not my problem anymore.

- Huh, interesting.
- Okay, but it really was great

that Larry acknowledged
your feelings and apologized.

- I guess, yeah.
- Hmm, she doesn't seem
to be too overwhelmed by it.

But you know what?

I feel very good about
that interaction and...

It's just that dogs
don't really have control
of when they go.

Yeah, but the owner
has control of where
the dog goes.

- Right. You know what?
- Do you want to apologize
to my dog?

Because you really
yelled at my dog.

Yeah, it's very hard
to apologize to a dog

because they're a stupid animal.

You know, okay, again...

We're going to move
on down the couch.

And I think you may
also remember Karen.

Larry: Karen!

I would just like
to apologize to you as well

if I made you uncomfortable
in any way at the market...

You did.
It's okay.

- Wow.
- When you were bawling
in front of the refrigerator.

I have no problem with crying
in a grocery store.

- I was very upset.
- I know, I see.

I would suggest, however,
that the next time

you feel overwhelmed
by something

to go to a different section,

a section that's not used
as much as the ice cream

which gets a lot of action.

I would go maybe to the...
where the Japanese food is.

The hoisin sauce
I don't think is a big...

It's not like buying ice cream.

- It's a different...
- Margaret: Again,
I am going to say

we're going to concentrate

on the positive part
of what you had to say.

- So...
- Who's that one?

- That is Dale.
She's one of our members.
- Dale?

- Yes.
- Wow.

Why don't you finish
what you were saying
to Karen?

What a bovine she is, huh?

- Jesus.
- Well, okay, so...

She's like the capo here, huh?

No. No,
she's not, Larry.

Does she run the show?
Tell me the truth.

No, she doesn't.
Nobody runs the show.

Is this the inspirational
speaker that we're getting?

No, that's next week.

This is our friend
and neighbor Larry.

Oh my god.
What happened to you?

We are again going to stay
in the present moment,

- being grateful and being...
- Inspirational speaker?

- Happy.
- What in the fuck
is she talking about?

We have somebody
coming in next week.

And I think
she just got confused.

- But instead...
- Yeah, I could see that.

- Margaret: Um, now...
- The washing machine's fucked.

Thank you, Dale.

That darn washing machine.
I'll tell you, we...

We use it so much,
as you can imagine,
with all of our members.

I'll tell you what
I'll do for you.

If you need a machine,
you're welcome to come

and use my machine
anytime you want.

- Oh my goodness.
- How about that?

- Wow. Oh, is that generous.
- Huh huh?

- That is incredible.
- Isn't that a beautiful
gesture?

- That is great.
- Give me a little round
of applause if you want to.

It won't kill you.
Go ahead.

Margaret:
That would be fine.
Sure. Why not?

- You deserve that.
- That's kind of tepid.

- Anyway, thank you.
That was very kind of you.
- You're welcome.

How about the marm here, huh?
How about this marm?

Okay, well...
That's all right, Larry.

- How about this marm?
- Okay, thank you.

- Margaret: I think that
I'm just gonna say goodbye.
- Okay.

If you touch it it's yours.

Again, thank you, Larry.

Thank you so much.

Ladies, I'm just going
to walk our guest
to the door.

- Mm, Krispy Kreme?
- Oh yeah yeah.

And thank you
so much. Okay.

- This fuckin' thing
is unbelievable!
- All right, okay.

Larry, thank you again
for coming by.

Couldn't be happier.

Did you put one of these
disgusting things

back in here after eating it?

I might have.
I have bad manners.

There's a whole
side dish here
for the remnants.

- This is the remnant plate.
- Hello, boys.

- Hi, beautiful.
- Hi.

- Oh!
- Oh hi.

- Hello, gorgeous.
- I am so happy.

I just came from the doctor

and the mole is absolutely fine.

- Fantastic!
you see that?
- Stella: I know, I know.

- I knew.
- That's good.

- Believe me, I knew all along.
- I was so worried for a while.

I'm very happy for you.

Although if you told me
that it wasn't fine,

I still would have been happy
because I would have said,

"see? Good thing I told you
to go to the doctor."

And something happened
when I saw the doctor.

I started talking
about how much pain

I'm always in with my boobs...

- What do you mean pain?
- And that I get
these backaches.

And I've decided that I...

I'm going to get
my breasts reduced.

- You're going to what?
- I'm going to get
them reduced.

- That's...
- What?

- She's hilarious.
- That's funny.

- That's funny.
- Stella: No.

- That's a good joke.
- I'm serious. Yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I get backaches all the time.

It's really really painful.

You take an advil
for that stuff.

You throw a couple of stones
behind your brassiere.

- You just even it out.
- What's the big deal?

- Oh my god.
- Like a seesaw.

Okay, boys, you obviously
don't understand.

Imagine you had huge balls.

- Yeah?
- Balls?

Enormous, sweaty,
just filled with spunk...

You're comparing
breasts with balls?

People hate balls.
Balls are reviled.

You can't even mention
balls and breasts in
the same breath.

- Of course you can.
Balls are male boobs.
- What?

Balls are disgusting.
They're hideous.

Everybody wants to see those.
Who wants to see balls?

- Right.
- People want to see those.

- Sorry.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Wow, I am talking
to two schoolboys
right now.

- How much are you planning
on taking off?
- Maybe half.

- Half? Did you say half?
- I'll be able to go jogging.

- Half?
- Half, yeah.

You don't just love me
for my tits, do you?

Larry, please, do I have
to defend myself in this?

Hold it, hold it.
There's many things
you can say about this guy.

- But not that.
- Not that.

- Thank you.
- Right right right.

How could you even suggest
that I would think that?

Look, you hurt the man.
You hurt the man.

Look at him.
It's insulting.

- As his friend I'm insulted.
- Okay, sorry.

- I just, you know...
- Listen, we'll discuss this.

I'm there for you,
regardless of what you have
to do, because I love you.

- Everything will be fine.
- I'm so happy you're
so supportive!

Thank you, sweetie.
I'm just going to
the loo, okay?

- Back in a sec.
- You're the woman
of my dreams,

for Christ's sake.

- You fucking idiot.
- What?

You did this.
You're responsible for this.

You looked at her mole
with a goddamn telescope

like Galileo jerking off
from 40' away.

I had breast vision, I told you.

Because of you I'm going
to lose this beautiful woman

with that figure,
with those boobs.

- I thought you didn't
care about her breasts.
- All right, I lied.

What am I supposed to do now?
Go from a double D to a...

- What's half of double D?
- B+? No, B-.

B-. It's closer
to the D, yes.

What's closer to the D,
the minus or the plus?

I don't give a shit,
quite frankly.

This is not algebra.
This is my life.

- Life is short.
How dare she?
- How dare she?

Yeah, what gives her the right?
It's self-centered.

- It really is.
- It is selfish.

- Isn't it?
- Totally.

Larry:
She's getting half
of it taken off.

Reduce them by half.

There shouldn't
be a motherfucker
cutting titties down.

You don't fuckin' wanna
reduce your titties by half

and expect a motherfucker
to be happy with that shit.

- You know what I'm saying?
- I do.

- I do know
what you're saying.
- You know what I'm saying?

Why do you keep asking me that?
I know what you're saying.

Sometimes you don't know
what the fuck I'm saying.

I know what the fuck
you're saying.

I explain it to you
and you don't fucking get it.

I get it.
You want to give me
a test on it?

You like fucking full titties
or half titties?

You got two half titties, right?

- Know no better.
- All right, you know what?

We could talk till
we're blue in the face.

I don't mean that
as a racial thing either.

Would I ever turn fucking blue?

- It's an expression.
- Who turns fuckin' blue?

You say that
to white people too.
You can't turn blue?

- Hell no I can't turn blue.
- Blacks blush. You blush?

- Blacks don't fuckin' blush.
- You never saw a black blush.

Never seen a black blush
in my fuckin' life.

Blacks don't fuckin' blush.

- Hey, Laura.
- Hey, Larry.

- Thank you so much.
We really appreciate it.
- You're very welcome.

- Did you use the Downey?
- Yes, I did.

- Hi, Dale.
- Hey.

- Wow.
- Huh?

- Whew.
- Did you get a load
of that one?

- Yo, she's something else, man.
- Isn't she?

- Who could fuck her up?
- I know.

Me and you couldn't
take that bitch.

She must have made up
a story or something
to get in there.

I bet she heard about it
from a friend in there.

And my guess is
she's living in some dump

and decided to move over.

Gotta find out
what the fuck
the story is.

I'm going to find out right now.

Shit.

Yoohoo!

- How's the laundry
coming along?
- It's coming along.

- Huh? Coming along?
- Yeah.

- You ever ice skate?
- No.

Maybe I'll take you
ice skating sometime.

- That'd be fun.
- I guess.

So, Dale, if you don't
mind my saying,

with all due respect,
I was just wondering

how you kind of...

You know, wound up over there.

Because it looks like
you could...

Take care of yourself.

- It's none of your business.
- Ah, okay.

Because the thing
about it is that

I just don't see anybody
taking you down.

Ahh!

That is some shiner
you got there.

Can you tell me how it happened?

I was home and I was
talking to somebody.

And... I said something
I shouldn't have said.

So this person struck you?

No. I fell.

Yeah, I fell.
I'm clumsy.

I'm really clumsy.
I trip all the time.

But, you know, I kind of...

I deserved it actually.

- I was wrong.
- Leon: Larry.

- Excuse me, we're...
- I need some money.

You need money?
I gave you $40 yesterday.

- What for?
- I'm fuckin' hungry
waiting around

all this fuckin' time and shit.

Can't you see I'm in pain here?

I know. I'm sorry.

But I'm fuckin' hungry
right now.

- What are you going to get?
- Fuckin' fruit chews.

Fruit chews?
You know how bad
those are for your teeth?

You want to spend the winter
in the dentist's office?

- Put this shit
on my fuckin' tab.
- On your tab?

- Yeah.
- like you're going
to pay me back.

You know I got you.
Give me a few dollars.

All right.
I'll give you some.

- I love you, Larry.
- Yeah, I love you too.

- I'm sorry, you know him?
- Yeah, he lives with me.

- You live together?
- Yeah, we live together.

Uh-huh.

You know, I didn't even
ask him to move in.

He just moved in,
doesn't pay any rent

and he eats all my food.

He knows all about me.
He knows my mother's
maiden name.

I've got to get this guy
out of my house.

- It's driving me crazy.
- Mr. David, is there anything

that you'd like to tell me
about this accident?

This is completely
in confidence.

- No, mm-mm.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Hello?
- Larry. Lewis.

- Hey!
- Hey, how are you doing?

Good.
What's happening?

Stella is going through
with the breast reduction
on Friday.

- Oh, I am so sorry.
- So on Thursday

I'm going to throw myself
and those breasts
a farewell party

like they've never seen
in their lives.

- A breast blowout.
- A breast blowout.
Exactly right.

Because I'm going to
go to the Biltmore
downtown.

I'm going to have
all their favorite

frozen margaritas
and put flowers there.

It's like the last time
you're going to see them,

- like going off to war.
- Absolutely.

I never went to 'Nam
and I feel like this is
sort of like... in a way

- sort of
the same thing for me.
- All right, good luck.

- I'll speak to you soon.
- Okay.

Oh my god, so I asked you
to watch this computer
for two minutes.

I told you to give it
to the guy when he comes
back in, and what?

You... you...

You're not the guy.

All right, I made a mistake.

I thought you were
somebody else.

- Sorry.
- Who did you think I was?

I thought you were this guy
who I told to watch

this computer and...
He stole it.

Oh. So was this guy
black or white?

Pfft, happened to be black.

So you think that
all black people
look alike?

I think all computers
look alike.

Have a nice day.

Saundra:
One statement.

It's hard to make decisions
in the moment.

So buy a bunch of one thing

and then we have
a lot of one things
to choose...

- Excuse me,
I gotta get in here.
- Sir, don't ever touch me.

Sorry, we're from
a battered women's shelter.

Well, it looks like
you could take care
of yourself, honestly.

Ahh!

- Oh my god.
- Hey. I know.

It's me, Bob,
from the restaurant,

- your neighbor.
- Oh my god, are you serious?

Yes. I'm so sorry.
I had to take off.

I know you asked me
to watch the computer,

but nobody else
looked trustworthy.

I couldn't leave it there,
so I took it with me

and I figured
I'd track you down.

And now we can find
the rightful owner.

Nobody else
looked trustworthy.
And I thought you took it!

- Well, I did,
but I'm bringing it back.
- Yeah, right.

You know what?
I gotta return some
laundry to some neighbors.

- Okay.
- You got two minutes?

- Can you wait
in the house for me?
- Yeah yeah, sure.

- Make yourself at home
and I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Hi, sir. We're responding
to a domestic battery call.

I don't live here.

The owner of the house,
he just left.

Sir, you match the description
of somebody who's been reported

- for domestic battery
at this address.
- No no no no no.

See, the owner,
he just walked out.
He'll be right back.

Apparently you've been
living here with Mr. David

and he's been trying
to get rid of you.

It's all
in the doctor's statement.

No no no no no.
Look, we can just
talk to Mr. David.

- He'll explain everything.
- You won't be speaking
to Mr. David.

- He's being moved
to a safe house.
- What?!

- No no! I was just
returning a computer.
- You're going to jail now.

A computer.
I don't live here.
You're making a mistake.

Wait for the guy to come back.
He'll tell... god damn it!

Hello.

Hey, Richie boy!

How's it going?
Having fun?